Would you give Nigel Farage £1.5m?

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1:28Hello and welcome to The Rest is Entertainment with me Marina Hyde. And me Richard Osmond, a brand new podcast all about film, TV, showbiz, gossip. Music, celebrity, scandal, all the fun things that you escape to. We will be covering every week. What's the worst that can happen? Well, we're going to start this week, we're going to talk about Nigel Farage and the I'm a Celebrity Jungle, so possibly you've just answered that question. and we're going to be talking about Lauren Sanchez's photoshoot and interview in American Vogue. She is the fiancé of Mr Jeff Bezos. I had not heard of her before this week and you made me do my research.

2:05Oh my god, I've never missed her. She's incredible. And then we're going to talk about the most expensive game show ever made, which has just come out, Squid Game. We have both watched it. We have yet to speak to each other about it. I suspect we might have different opinions. I've certainly got a lot of opinions. Excellent, shall we start with Nigel in the Jungle? Nigel in the Jungle Okay, so first of all I'm a Celebrity has been so long ITV's biggest show I think and it's still, it's the biggest show of the year actually ratings wise it is the biggest show of the year already and Nigel Farage is I think their most expensive contestant ever at£1.5 million I think he is a good booking for ITV and I will say that that's because what he's done is he's got people to watch the show who perhaps might not otherwise watch it or it's one of those slight marmalade droppers when you hear it and people think I'm going to tune in and then I guess you hope that they get caught up in the stories and the other contestants and whatever because by the way I don't think he's a fantastic contestant but we can come on to that in a bit Well there's two things, they don't like Nigel Farage being given£1.5 million but I don't think anyone likes anyone being given£1.5 million even your best friend if your best friend said someone's just given me£1.5 million you go ah no that's annoying and then the question of should he be in there and is he going to use it in some way to leverage that sort of attention to further his ends i think this i think that i'm a celeb by and large never does contestants much good if they're not particularly likable and he's not particularly likable i think what he thought was i'm going to go in there uh i am going to be voted for every single task because i'm the bogeyman oh my god people love to hate me uh and what's happened is people have gone, no, just don't really care.

3:48Now, I think Farage, he even said, he said in one of the first episodes, he was not voted for a task. So he wasn't voted. And genuine shock on his face, like he'd lost another by-election. Okay, so he had that thing like, oh no, the dolphin has got more votes than me. And he said, if you get voted for the task, you get 25 % of the airtime. Okay, so that's his game. He wants to go in there. He wants to set himself up as sort of a man of the people. but the beautiful thing about reality TV is you can try and be whatever you want but people find you out. The trouble with Farage I think is that he's actually, and why he's not an interesting contestant, is that he's a very boring man, he has no sort of hinterland whatsoever Can you imagine him listening to music?

4:31If he did listen to any music it would be like a sort of CD that would have come free on the Sunday Times in about 2001 Absolutely no interest in anything I once interviewed him and asked him for his favourite film and genuinely he couldn't think of the name of a movie and in the end he just had to say something and he suddenly remembered Richard Curtis as an idea and said I think it would be one of those Richard Curtis things you know so he was a really emotional human and said and I yeah Love Actually was the only one he could remember clearly he literally I was thinking just say The Great Escape say The Dam Busters I mean it's not hard all I'm thinking of now is what's my favourite film if I was being interviewed by Marina what would I say my favourite film is that's the thing so Nigel Farage has spent a long time in politics and in politics he is a charismatic man because he's more charismatic than other politicians however if you put yourself in a room even if you put yourself in a room with sam thompson from made in chelsea okay you disappear he did a task where he had to drink various things you know cow's anus the the usual stuff kangaroo's anus probably and you could tell he was trying to be the sort of hail fellow well met sort of man of the people alpha male but you know he's up against Tony Bellew who's the world cruiserweight champion who's like an actual alpha male right and Tony Bellew is amazing for that show he's perfect because this is a guy who's been through all sorts of challenges and Farage disappears I noticed this last night where they said to Tony Bellew tell us you know Tony Bellew was telling the story and saying about that Usyk fight and it was went out in the eighth round but he can't remember anything about the eighth round and he said essentially the the referee saved his life.

6:07And then they said to Farage, tell us a story. And he said, do you know what? When I first stood for Parliament, I didn't even care if I was going to win. I thought, OK, A, lucky. And B, what? And the camera just sort of panned away because it's so boring. He is always on. He is trying to hit prepared lines on a reality format, which is just bizarre. He's treating it like he's going on one of the Sunday politician shows. For a start, he had quite a few sort of prepared jokes. So he'd be like, I have some snakes. I've met some snakes in the European Parliament. And then, you know, like when he had to eat someone's anus or other, he said, oh, what's the thing?

6:39I think I've got the back end of this deal. And I was thinking, you've got about four days left of this material. And then you're kind of on your own with your own personality, which isn't enough. See, when people say ITV shouldn't have booked him, the BBC should not have booked him 30 times for question time, is the truth. Because question time is easy for Farage. Because, again, he's up against people who have zero charisma usually. And something like that is what Boris Johnson is very good at. if he knows he's got three minutes to answer a question, he knows he can say exactly what he wants.

7:06And so long as he keeps going and keeps going, nothing will come back at him. In the jungle, you can't do that. In the jungle, you can say, occasionally he tries to say something political. Fred Siriax is the only one who really picks him up on stuff. And you can see, finally, Farage is like, this is what I'm here for. I'm going to talk about the fact that, you know, there's too many immigrants coming into the country. and you think, nice, this is not where we are. And Fred is actually sort of doing some useful things around the camp. You're just like, you know, one of your dad's friends. But he does this sort of, he goes to the Bush Telegraph, which I guess is the equivalent of Big Brother's Diary Room or something like that.

7:44And there was a thing, a sort of monologue he did where he said, you know, a lot of people are saying just about little old me, what happens if conservatives lose the next election? And does Nigel become leader of the Conservative Party? And it went on like this, and you're thinking, are people saying this in the camp? This is so weird. You look ridiculous. I have not heard Marvin Humes ask if you're going to be the next leader of the Conservative Party. No, none of them have. Actually, they have asked him if he would run again. They're really unclear on whether you run as Prime Minister, how you become an MP, anything like that, in the main.

8:14Clearly what he has taken as his sort of impetus, obviously Nigel's idol is Donald Trump, who famously was the biggest reality star of the first kind of golden era of reality TV, if you can call it that, which I personally thought it was an amazing particular time. But Trump, as the host of The Apprentice, The US Apprentice, had he not done that, he would not have ended up as US president. It was absolutely key. It kind of put him right into everybody's homes. He became a sort of famous person again, having been a kind of a big deal in the 80s. And I guess Farage thinks he can use I'm a Celebrity to parlay his way back into some.

8:50If it does happen to him, by the way, and if he does somehow, you know, and he does become readmitted to the Conservative Party and become significant and senior within it, it won't be because of this show. But anyway, Richard, can you just, as someone who obviously has lots of reality TV experience, can you talk to me about booking? The booking. See, it's interesting with Farage. So he's got 1.5 million, which is a lot. And ITV, no, he's not a great booking. He's an okay booking because, mainly I think honestly because people don't really think he's authentic. So they wonder who he really is.

9:21Okay, so that's an interesting booking. You know, because like Matt Hancock, you think, I don't know, I've no idea who you are. And the generation that grew up watching reality TV knows that they will find something out about this person. They know the first three days he's going to do his pre-prepared lines and then the mask will slip. So it's an interesting booking in that regard. Here's the thing. When they're booking that show, you want to get a mix of people, right? So they've got Marvin Humes and Josie Gibson. So that's the ITV mainstream absolutely covered off. The show pony stable. Beautiful.

9:54That's people, you know, absolutely we feel safe, we feel at home. They know Sam Thompson is going to be very funny. And he sort of, people slightly recognise him but don't quite know him yet. So they know they've got someone to introduce to the wider public, who the wider public are going to love. Nella, they're thinking, great, we've got sort of a YouTuber, which is, that's the obsession with all these things is, have we got a YouTuber? It's like when Strictly got Joe Sugg on. They're like, we've got a YouTuber, guys. Guys, we've got a YouTuber. You know, the klaxon goes off. what they didn't have there was perhaps somebody older somebody more mainstream and more establishment who you know that's you sort of want that they were in talks with a lot of people they were in talks with Boris Johnson they were in talks I know he would be a nightmare I mean that I would watch because he really would show himself up he got quite far down the line I think he would I think he at some point well I guess he'll look see what happens to Farage which in my view won't be a whole lot and then he will decide whether or not to do it but he'll get desperate eventually.

10:51Attention, not money. Exactly. Well, listen, soon we're going to have Boris Johnson on GB News and we're going to be doing a podcast when that starts. And that's the thing I'm looking forward to most in 2024 because he is a guest, not a host. He is going to be a terrible, terrible host and they will have paid him an awful lot of money. And like everyone who pays Boris Johnson an awful lot of money, they are not going to get their money's worth. But I digress. They get him in a golden handcuffs deal and then it's them wearing the handcuffs, yes. But so with Nigel Farage, I think they didn't have that elder statesman figure.

11:24So they're thinking, well, we've got to get one. Les Dennis is doing Strictly, so we can't have Les. And so, you know, Farage is in a situation where they want him, of course. I get it. Should they want him? But, you know, you can argue it either way, but they want him. They've probably got quite a lot of money left over in their budget because of some of the other names on there, I would think. Because I think they've got really good people on there. But, you know, Nella is not going to cost you a load of money. Grace Dent wouldn't have cost you a load of money. Danielle. Danielle Harold, who's brilliant.

11:55Fantastic. She, by the way. So Jamie Lynn Spears would have cost you some money. Yeah. But no one else. So you've got plenty of money left over. And if Farage is sort of saying, well, I want three million, and you're saying, well, I'll give you half a million, and suddenly you're at one and a half million, and the advertisers are going to cover it, and, you know, it seems fine. And you've got three weeks until you've got to get your whole lineup put together. Then that's when you end up paying. it's not like they thought get me Farage we will throw every bit of cash we have at Farage this is it's you get to the stage when you're booking something when you have a gap and it narrowly it comes down to only one person's going to fill that gap and you have a sum of money left and you think well okay we can he can so he got he got he got very lucky there it's a slightly different format and I guess we'll talk about this in a minute when we talk about Squid Game as well but because that does require more of a psych test they do have a sort of psych test to see whether people are mentally up to these things.

12:49Do you think they do the same with the celebrities or are you just regarded as like you're already in public life of a sort and therefore you don't go through the same sort of thing you'd go if you're going through Big Brother? I mean, I was talking to people who were involved in Big Brother this year and they say, oh yeah, you know, the cast you end up with are basically the fourth choice of a full cast. So you're kind of like 80 people in, essentially, because all the other ones above have failed the psych test because they're not making up to it. Or the Criminal Reviews Board, you know, stuff.

13:14But they do it all the time. There's very, very few people out there who want to be on shows who don't have some sort of criminal conviction somewhere. So, see, the psych test is interesting. I was looking through, because Grace Dent pulled out this week, I was looking through the people who have pulled out of I'm a Celeb over the years. Freddie Starr, Brian Harvey, Daniela Westbrook, Katie Price, Gemma Collins, John Lydon, Richard Maidley. Wow. All of those people have pulled out. They wouldn't be your first picks when you think of some of the contestants. I'm putting all of those together. That's a show.

13:50Woodwatch. Yeah, it's an interesting one. And celebs, you know, things I think Farage is allowed to smoke, for example. And I think various people, you know, you can ask for one and a half million plus. Oh, he's got a huge rider. Yeah. I mean, he's such a diva. Little old me. Talk about little old me and talk about himself in the third person. That's the trouble. You're sort of watching someone who takes himself fantastically seriously. and as a person who always says I don't take myself too serious well you do though don't you otherwise you wouldn't keep it you can show us that in your behaviour rather than telling us that, see that's the thing Farage exists in opposition to people his entire rise and the rise of what he believes exists in opposition and he's always weaponised people who disagree with him and the many many people who talk about boycotting I'm a celebrity, who talked about this is outrageous those are actually the people who've given him the oxygen of publicity over the years That's the irony of the thing.

14:43Coming on I'm a Celebrity, there is no publicity for him there because he can't game it. There's no way he can game that. You know, Anton Deck and their script and Andy Milligan who writes it with them, you know, they are merciless towards him. The edit is not going to do him any favors. It's not being mean to him because that, by and large, is not what you do in a reality edit, even though people think that you do. So he has no control. He has nothing to weaponize. you know, Fred has sort of had a go at him a couple of times about Brexit and you see Nigel sort of going, oh, I remember how to do this.

15:18And even then everyone just walks away. But yes, and I think he probably thought he'd have more arguments about Brexit. But it is interesting that when it happens, people just start moving away from the campfire. We're all moving away from that particular campfire. In fact, we started moving away from that particular campfire in about 2019 where you just couldn't hear another word about it. But I do think it's worth saying that contrary to what people said, I'm not going to watch it, the overnights are down. and perhaps you can tell us what the overnights are in just one second. Well, the overnights are the...

15:43That's, you know, the next morning you find out how many people watched it. The overnights are down, but in terms of catch-up, which is what's happening to lots of linear TV now, is that it's absolutely fine. And so if you put the two together, it's at its normal levels and it's still the biggest show of the year. Listen, I don't love him getting a million and a half. He is not a great contestant. No. And I don't think ITV will think they've got value for money in any way whatsoever. I suspect he got the money because he was the last person booked. I think he will be forgotten. I think in a lot of ways it was worse booking Matt Hancock because he was a serving politician and should have been serving his constituents and he was the subject of a national inquiry as well.

16:23I think booking Hancock was worse. Which at the time was pending though, Richard. So in many ways, and that inquiry doesn't even have statutory power. So in the end, watching Matt Hancock be subjected to a number of trials, that might be our only real courtroom as far as he's concerned. So I'll take it. A kangaroo testicle court. Yes. We've put them under. And listen, perhaps that's how we do politics in the future. But the interesting thing about I'm a Celebrity is it is mass culture. And mass culture and mass market is not interested in politics in any way whatsoever. Politics is like football.

16:52The people who are interested in it are obsessively interested in it and know everything and are obsessed with every single thing that happens. You know, if Unai Emery says something at Aston Villa, everyone's got an opinion. But 90 % of people do not care. And the same is true with politics. and you see it when he's in there, the second he starts talking, they go, oh, so what have you done there? So have you run for, are you a politician there? Would you run again for prime minister? Would you run again for prime minister? And also, because he's so vain, he never quite disabuses them in the fact that, you know, by the way, I've never even made it.

17:22I failed seven times to become an MP. He can never quite tell them because he thinks, oh, well, if no one knows, maybe in here I'm the big man. But honestly, the joy, the absolute joy of that is seeing him not being chosen for the task and seeing him suddenly go, oh, no. No, I thought people hated me. That's all I've ever had. And people don't even hate me. Shall we leave Nigel Farage there, boring people around his campfire? What if we could leave him there? Yeah, let's do this. So what we're going to talk about next is Jeff Bezos and his partner have done an interview and you drew my attention to that.

17:55I knew nothing about it, but I'm now broadly obsessed. And I think that anyone who hasn't seen it is also going to be obsessed. Okay, so Jeff Bezos, just as a recap, Amazon founder, recently ripped, now looks a bit like a Vin Diesel, regional Vin Diesel lookalike, and is sort of hands around the World's Richest Man title between him, Elon Musk, and Francois Pino. So they kind of hand it around. I think Pino's got it at the moment, but he's either the second or third or first richest man. Where's Zuckerberg? Oh, he's below. He's below. Yeah, I mean, you know. What a beautiful story. Yeah, this is for US Vogue, not the cover, but we'll come to that later.

18:35Anyhow, the interview takes place at various locations in the West Texas ranch, from which Jeff also launches all his space rockets. And Lauren flies them around the ranch, flies Vogue and all the fashion people, because she's in many different outfits in the shoot, in her helicopter. Yeah, she's a helicopter pilot. And if your next question is, do they have a climate foundation? Of course. Anyway, if I had to say what did I like about it, I would pretty much have to say everything. So let me paint you a word picture of what we can see. Behold Lauren at the 10 ,000-year-old clock. Now, this is something Bezos has built on his ranch.

19:11It's 500 feet deep. It's loads of sort of blue cogs. It goes really, if you're wondering what it means, Lauren says it represents thinking about the future. No, nothing more. What is it? A clock? It is vast cogs. It's a 10 ,000-year clock. That's all we hear. It's a massive infrastructure problem. Anyway, what you can see is Lauren lying across one of the cocks in sort of Category 5 Dolce & Gabbana. Anyway, next, behold her in the Blue Origin space facility itself in a sort of gold, again, I think, Dolce & Gabbana dress that honestly looks like one of those foil blankets that give you after a disaster.

19:50Maybe this photo shoot. Literally everybody, by the way, is now looking up this online. So just wait till the end and we'll all look together. And then Lauren and Jeff in the front seat of a truck. Now, Jeff is wearing a cowboy hat, a very fitted black T-shirt he's got ripped in recent years. And he's also wearing Lauren, who's draped over him, along with various sort of leather bracelets and so on. The Bezos Sanchezes would like you to know that they are extremely hot for each other in this interview. The reason I really love this interview is because I've been asked to write for Vogue a few times and I never end up doing it because I always say, I know you think you want my writing in Vogue, the sort of thing I write in The Guardian, but actually when it comes to it, you'll be like, oh no, we can't have this in our magazine.

20:31And the last time I did it, someone said, well, you know, what would you say about Kris Jenner? And I said, well, the Kardashian, Marta Familias, as it were. And I said, I would say that she is one of the hardest women on the planet, but yet not Armenian. It was the husband who was Armenian. Therefore, perhaps she's a succubus and sucked all the Armenian out of him, leaving him, Robert Kardashian, a man so wet that he would end up being played by David Schwimmer in a TV adaptation of the OJ trial. And they said, no, you're right. Probably we wouldn't have that in Vogue. Anyway, but the writer of this, Chloe Malle...

21:02I have never read Vogue, by the way. Well, I mean, I just do it for the pictures. Okay. I read Q. Anyhow, but it's very hard. You're not really allowed to be funny. Anyway, the writer of this, Chloe Malle, has done an unbelievable job because it is absolutely hysterical, as you can see profile and interview but lauren will have loved it which i sort of love someone actually when i first started writing on tabloid newspapers said to me tabloid journalism is about doing people over and then having them ring to thank you in the morning which i thought was exceptionally bleak but this is an example of that because lauren will have absolutely loved it can i just give you some of my favorite facts from this yes please okay seven people refer to lauren as a force, which is quite euphemistic.

21:50Oh, wow. Yeah, that really is euphemistic. Like when a friend comes around and goes, no, listen, she takes a while to warm up. Okay. For a recent present, Jeff bought Lauren a mug reading Woke Up Feeling Sexy As Hell Again. And yes, he got it for her on Amazon. Oh my goodness, that's awful. Do you know what? I might pull my books from Amazon. Wow. Okay. Big swing in the first podcast. He thinks that her intuition is so beyond limitations of other humans that she has almost witchy powers. Really? She clears up the fact that on the... I don't know if you've seen there, but he's got the biggest yacht in the world now, a sort of trireme that is called Kourou.

22:32And it's so big, it has to have its own support yacht that trails along behind it. It has boring little stuff like the helicopter pad and some other things. As I said, they've got a climate foundation. and on the front of this thing is a sort of large breasted figurehead in a diaphanous thing, a wooden thing on the prow of this boat and a lot of people thought it was Lauren. Lauren uses this interview to point out that it isn't her because if it was, it would have had bigger breasts. So what's Bezos' motivation for doing this interview? He doesn't need publicity. Well, that's a really interesting thing.

23:03I actually think, first of all, you would think that the shoot is by Annie Leibovitz and you would think that it looks like a parody of an Annie Leibovitz shoot, but you would think that they would demand the cover because when you're a big celebrity or a big whatever, you demand the cover. I've done TV Choice twice. Did you get the cover? Yeah. No, I'm saying I've got TV Choice cover. If I don't get the cover, I'm not doing it. Both times with Xander, but listen. You'll take it. That's showbiz. And it was John Leibovitz. Yeah, he's with a big Polaroid. But what people say about Bezos is that he really, People ask, why are you in the Prestige TV?

23:40Why is Amazon in streaming? Why is Amazon sort of bankrolling films? He was so excited when they got their first Oscars. They got some from Manchester by the Sea, like a pretty depressing film. But he picked it up as a distributor, really. And he was so thrilled that he was going to be anywhere near the Oscars, the Golden Globes. He's a guy who really wants to go to the Golden Globes, Jeff Bezos. He gives big parties around it. He really wants to be part of that sort of thing. And she obviously clearly wants to be famous. And so they've agreed to do this. And despite all the opprobium that they've, people have laughed at this interview, but they want it so much.

24:13I suppose it's because they don't need to do it, but they want it so much. And so you're looking at two people who genuinely have obviously everything in the world, but really want to be famous. But also, you know, he's got that very, very typical slightly dweeby male thing of saying, look at my girlfriend. Yes. It's like, you know, it's a really expensive way of saying, look at my girlfriend. There's a fantastic quote in it where she said, well, people are talking about her clothes, which are, you know, quite out there. She doesn't leave a huge amount of the imagination, Lauren. And she said, she says, I always found it interesting that people say, well, Lauren, you definitely dress more for men.

24:48I actually dress for myself. And then from the corner of the room comes this little voice. It's Jeff saying, but it works for Jeff. Oh, my God. I actually am going to take my books off Amazon. I'm so sorry. Anyway, but there's a very good paragraph in this interview that says, Lauren wakes up thinking about how to help people, says Elsa Collins, co-founder of This Is About Humanity, an organisation supporting separated and reunified families at the US-Mexico border. Very good cause, obviously, which recently received one million dollars from Sanchez. One million. OK, he earned two hundred and five million dollars a day.

25:20OK, so this is like someone on the average UK salary giving about 35p to charity. I mean, why does no one call them a philanthropist? The Bezos's are what I would call philanthropists. But also, I don't think that's what she does wake up thinking about. Oh, no. She's waking up thinking, I need a wee. Or she's thinking, is it late enough I can do spelling bee? New York Times. Has Homes Under the Hammer started yet? She's not waking up thinking about the charity. And if she is, it's because she forgot to do something the night before she goes, oh, I forgot to send that cheque to the Mexican people.

25:54Oh, that's annoying. Oh, I'll do it later. But it's a hell of a person to get married to. Oh, she's brilliant. but she's planning an all-female space mission is she? yeah in the Blue Origin craft which I just like good luck space I mean the bits I've read I've really I've quite warmed to her I have to say she's a force yeah yeah Richard she's a force she takes a while to warm up she does think literally takes nought seconds to warm up she is on from the start she'd be a fantastic I'm a celebrity contestant let me tell you that oh that's unbelievable I mean she doesn't need the money no for all time but she likes the phone yeah on that note we're going to take a quick break This episode is brought to you by 20th Century Studios' new film, Springsteen, Deliver Me From Nowhere.