‘Borat’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt

14:44Bill Simmons:were making a movie yeah yeah i watched i watched the show there were some characters i liked other There were other more than others. I always thought Borat was the funniest one. So I was, I was really happy that, um, that they were going to like expand that universe, but I, it was just such a creative show. And in general was a really fun time for comedy because we were having the movie boom. Um, we had this whole generation of new comedians coming in and then there was like some real experimentation going on on some of the cable channels.

15:15Kyle Brandt:Yeah. For HBO to do that. Yeah. Like I just remember watching, it was early 2000s. I would TiVo it. Like it was 2002 and there'd be Borat, Bruno, and then Ali G. And he was almost exclusively the sit down interviews. I mean, it wasn't any of the road trip stuff, but he would sit down with like Buzz Aldrin and just be like, do you think man will ever walk on the sun? And then he'd be like, no, it's too hot. But then he'd be like, what about in the winter when it's cold? And I was dying laughing. And that's again, the writing. They had that shit so funny and so perfect. And his sit down with Andy Rooney where he walks off set and then Ali G's like, He's chucking me out because the color of my skin.

15:51Kyle Brandt:That's not my HBO Rushmore. I have it that high. I love it.

15:54Bill Simmons:Yeah, I was in LA writing for Kimmel's show at that point. Yeah. All of us were like, whatever that guy is doing, it's almost over here. You don't even feel like you're in the same stratosphere with that. The other thing is, it was hard to separate him, the human being, from all those characters. it's i think he's him and mike myers are the two where when they were trying to be normal it always felt the most disorienting anytime you saw mike myers being mike myers it's like i don't what's i don't understand what's happening like you're a normal person from canada it just never

16:33Kyle Brandt:felt right well remember imagine if sasha had tried to do like his so i married an axe murder where he's just a guy driving around like boston or something and he it's like a run and then in real life then he like then he marries isla fisher who's coming off wedding crashers who's huge too and then there are this power couple but i'd think to your point like post borat sasha baron is like i don't know it it was never my favorite thing he would always be that he would be in these the sweeney todd and he would be in ricky bobby and he was always funny it's just the chicago seven

17:05Bill Simmons:movie yeah when we started the ringer we were on the sunset gower studios and he had a company there and he had like an office space and everything. And we're always like, are we going to run into him? Like, what would it be like to run into him? And just kind of bracing for the disappointment that he probably be like, hey, how are you doing? And not be funny at all. I've never met him.

17:24Kyle Brandt:Yeah, me neither. You never run into him at HBO? Nothing like that? Yeah, it's weird. But I'd be nervous.

17:30Bill Simmons:He's, I think he's tall. Like I think physically he's a little more imposing than maybe you'd realize most comedians are shorter. So you mentioned it was created for Dowie. G show. Yeah. Um, turning the movie, most of the scenes were unscripted. The film's participants, which I think people know, but for the most part, there's only four actors in this movie and every, nobody else knows what's happening and they would have to sign releases and things like that. And then he had that dictionary that is easy, but the legend of the movie shoot, the police were called on him 92 times. Um, the FBI at one point followed him because they kept getting reports about a Middle Eastern man driving an ice cream truck through America.

18:12Bill Simmons:Yeah, and this was like height of post-9-11. Sure. The director, Todd Phillips, who's made most famously The Joker and The Joker sequel, but also did The Hangover, all three hangovers, and Road Trip, and I think he's one of the best comedy directors of this century, quit the movie after like 11 days, which I knew and forgot But apparently after the rodeo scene, he's like, fuck this. I'm out of here. People are trying to kill us. I'm done.

18:44Kyle Brandt:So the rodeo scene, he goes in. He does these crazy jingoistic comments about Premier Bush drinking the blood of all the terrorists, which is really funny. And he revs up all the rednecks in there. Hell yeah, we love you. And then sings the Kazakh national anthem to the tune of the Star Spangled Banner. and it's just like, all of the countries are run by little girls. It's fucking incredible. And then as they, apparently the people were like, I don't know, they're going to lynch them or something. I don't know what was going to happen and they had to bail fast. And I think Todd Phillips is like, I got to bail.

19:19Kyle Brandt:I'm out of here. Yeah, they said,

19:21Bill Simmons:they said there were some creative differences with them too. And I, there's a shocking lack of information for this, considering this is one of the most successful comedies of this century. Todd Phillips is famous. He quit the shoot and it was really hard to figure out what happened. But one of the things from the research was that Azamut wasn't in the movie initially and it wasn't until after they... So they bring in Larry Charles who's I think probably most famous for Curb Your Enthusiasm Seinfeld. Like pretty famous comedy guy. But has also been something of a fixer. Like he was pretty legendary for kind of saving Entourage early on when they didn't know what they were going to be on the scenes.

20:01Bill Simmons:and then he comes in and saves this movie and becomes this triumphant thing. But yeah, Todd Phillips quits.

20:09Kyle Brandt:And probably the right move. I mean, it was a huge hit that he walked away from, but he had a whole bunch of other movies too. And it's like, I don't know if the creative differences were like, Sasha's going to die on this movie and I'm not because, I mean, that may scare the crap out of you being in that rodeo place. It's terrifying. There's like 3 ,000 people. But I also, you mentioned this character. I just want, I love peeling back the curtain on our text chain. I want people to know that all of the conversations we had about Borat leading up to this pod, Bill was all over Azumar. I can tell you're a huge Azumar fan, Bill.

20:39Kyle Brandt:It's always Azumar.

20:41Bill Simmons:I'm number one for Azumar. Even when he goes away and he comes back and he's on Hollywood Boulevard as chaplain, and Borat thinks he's Hitler. He's this character actor. What was his name? Ken Davidian.

20:55Kyle Brandt:Ken Davidian.

20:57Bill Simmons:I wrote down he's David Tyree

21:02Kyle Brandt:okay like the miracle moment

21:04Bill Simmons:he is like I have 32 career catches in my life and I bounced around and my career was over almost immediately but I had this one moment that is probably the greatest Super Bowl moment of all time unless you want to go Malcolm Butler he was like this the research he was like one step lower than a character actor yeah he's just like i don't know you're doing er season five and he's in the er room for

21:32Kyle Brandt:with like one line yeah here's your stethoscope here it is and the the headline about azamat he's american he's from la right he's like he's doing an accent he's speaking actually armenian which is not the same language that sasha is speaking i think he's speaking hebrew he's so on all their back and forth. They're not even talking the same language. And there's this great audition story where they bring in Ken Davidian and he just does this whole rant in Armenian and screams and screams and screams and leaves. And they're like, wow, that guy was pretty good. And then five minutes later, he came back and he walked in and he goes, oh, hey guys, I forgot my hat.

22:10Kyle Brandt:And they're like, holy shit, you speak English? Oh my God, you're the part. You're immediately. And that was the legendary, that's him catching it over Rodney Harrison from Eli. That's the moment.

22:20Bill Simmons:No question. And just one of the all-time weirdest bodies you've ever seen in a movie. I don't... Did they cover up his dick? Did they need to because his belly was hanging over it? I have no idea how they... That is an all-time... I don't know how they did that scene scene.

22:37Kyle Brandt:All right. So do you want to get to that scene later or do we do it now?

22:41Bill Simmons:Let's do it now.

22:43Kyle Brandt:Okay. First of all, Azamut, you just said it perfectly. We've seen a lot of heavy or obese people on screen. Fine. What is it about his that's so different? It's the strangest body that's ever been on camera. He has these crazy, like, playboy-looking breasts that look different from any other man's bear chest that I've ever seen. And then you never actually see his dick the whole time. Or pubic hair. Nothing. You see nothing. He's like a kendall. It's like he has a full marsupial kendall kangaroo. and then meanwhile it's so jarring because as they're fighting Borat is blurred out so you're like why is Borat getting blurred and then they're not blurring Azimut but I still can't see it it's so weird

23:25Bill Simmons:but you do get to see his balls dangling over Borat's face

23:29Kyle Brandt:you see those

23:32Bill Simmons:well the other thing with him that I never knew this so he's bouncing around as a character actor and he's also running this like garbage business basically in Malibu. He's like garbage collection, like sanitation. And it's gone and he owned a couple lunch places in LA too. So he's kind of like this hustler businessman. Sure. Gets this contract to do some sanitation stuff in Mexico City. Goes down there and it's unclear what happens, but he gets cleaned out and has to declare bankruptcy. Comes back, gives one more role at the acting thing and gets Borat. And then basically, that if you look at his IMDb, he's dined on this for, for 20 years basically, but this is, nobody knows his name.

24:17Bill Simmons:He's the ultimate, that guy, you just see him like Azamat.

24:23Bill Simmons:But yeah, so he, he secured a waste management contract in Mexico city. And then the research says, uh, his company was ill-prepared. Davidian maintains he was victimized by a corrupt system, but it ended in multinational litigation, trade arbitration, and bankruptcy.

24:41Kyle Brandt:Oh my gosh.

24:41Bill Simmons:Azumut.

24:42Kyle Brandt:Come on, buddy. And you know what? I watched the first five minutes of the sequel and you're like, oh, Azumut must have been so excited when they're making a sequel. Like, holy shit, I'm back. And Borat sits down in a leather chair and he gets up and realizes that they skinned Azumut and left his penis right on the top of the chair. So he's dead. So he doesn't even come back. But you finally see his dick.

25:03Bill Simmons:We also had, this movie had six different lawsuits, which we'll get to later for people who were in it, which was pretty fun. I really loved the relationship of Azubut and Borat. I really enjoy. I don't, it's like a true buddy cop. It's the only thing I can think of that's similar to it is Coming to America with Eddie and Arsenio. Like just like the lead guy with his like assistant dude and they just have this whole shorthand and the little, the assistant's there to serve the other guy, but there's like a little tension too. It's just really good.

25:34Kyle Brandt:And the assistant's trying to get laid on the side too and they're trying to make a buck a little bit. It is great. And their chemistry is awesome in it. And even though you never hear speak English to each other, we never see Ken Davidian again.

25:45Bill Simmons:Oscar nominated for best screenplay.

25:47Kyle Brandt:Yeah.

25:48Bill Simmons:Won a Golden Globe for best comedy. I have some Oscar stuff coming later. This movie is 84 minutes.

25:55Kyle Brandt:Beautiful.

25:56Bill Simmons:Craig's not here today, but this is a minus 16 on the Horlbeck scale. I think this might be the record. I don't know if we've done a movie that's been 84 minutes. This might be the first one.

26:08Kyle Brandt:We did like just one of the guys that is about 20 seconds long and it's still longer than this movie. And by the way, it's fine. I don't care. It can be even shorter. You just don't see 84 minute movies.

26:17Bill Simmons:$18 million budget. Yep. It made$262.5 million and spawned a sequel. Roger Ebert could not find a review.

26:27Kyle Brandt:No way.

26:27Bill Simmons:I think Raj sat this one out. I think he probably would have liked it. Yeah. I mean, it's hilarious. He had a sense of humor. Somebody wrote a review, but it didn't seem like it was him. We don't know how he feels. We're going to take a break, come back and go through a slew of rewatchable scenes. This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter. If you've ever seen me trying to push one of the documentaries that we've just finished that I've spent a lot of time on that I'm really proud of, because if you're involved in the right documentary, the process of it, getting it, cutting it down, getting it to the right place, and then it hits a point where you're like, oh yeah, this is good.

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28:25Bill Simmons:Because the asks aren't getting smaller, and the timelines? Ooh, yeah, still tight. With all the best creative AI models in one place, Firefly brings your ideas to life. Learn more at adobe.com slash firefly. All right. Most rewatchable scene. I got the opening scene when he's introducing everyone to his town. So I watched this. I watched this twice. I've seen a bunch of times. The first time I watched on the treadmill, I'm like, I'm going to bang out. I'm going to walk 4.0 in the treadmill and watch Borat. and I almost kind of wobbled and fell like three times. It was a mistake because I'm laughing.

29:08Bill Simmons:The first time, the running of the Jew just killed me. I hadn't seen it in a while and I'm just, the egg?

29:16Kyle Brandt:Yeah, the kids beat the shit out of the egg.

29:18Bill Simmons:And then it goes back to Irk and the town rapist and he's saying goodbye to him. He's like, just only humans. And I'm just like trying to, and I could like barely do a straight line, but I like meeting the mechanic and the town abortionist. His sister's the number four prostitute. We're just off. We're like, hey, we're crossing every line, guys. Get ready.

29:39Kyle Brandt:We're just going to be doing jokes for 84 minutes. Buckle up.

29:43Bill Simmons:Borat in New York. You mentioned that the TikTok has basically ruined this. But I think my favorite is when the two ladies are walking to the thing. It's like, very nice. How much?

29:58Kyle Brandt:very nice how much it is a great one my my fucking hero is the most new york asshole guy all time when when borat gets in his face and he goes if you if you try to kiss me i'll pop you in the fucking balls and like that guy like comes down from westchester he's a banker he does cold plunge he plays squash he like drives it like a really nice bmw and he's not about to get touched on the fucking street. I'll pop you in the balls. He's definitely at dinner

30:26Bill Simmons:with Schrager at Luger's.

30:28Kyle Brandt:Where they don't take credit cards, cash only.

30:31Bill Simmons:I'll take you. It's great. That guy sued the movie because he was upset how he was portrayed. Disagree. I think he came off great. I would have been excited. Yeah, I think I know what he's suing.

30:43Kyle Brandt:I mean, I have him down for a possible Dion Waiter's category with one line. I like him so much.

30:47Bill Simmons:I have Pat Haggerty, the humor coach.

30:51Kyle Brandt:Yeah.

30:51Bill Simmons:The suit is black. But the B-Low story just absolutely kills me. And the first time I saw this movie, I think I saw it with Jacko and House. They were here for... I didn't see this movie in the theater, I don't think. I don't remember why.

31:08Kyle Brandt:Oh, man, you wish that was fun.

31:09Bill Simmons:But we watched this, and B-Low fucking killed us. And we made B-Low jokes for like a year after that. You never get this. And then one day, he gets this.

31:19Kyle Brandt:He gets that.

31:20Bill Simmons:so I'm ashamed to say that, uh, this has been a running joke at my house for, I love this. My kids. Yeah. Just me talking to my son. He's like, are we going to go? You will never get this. It's the only Borat joke. I, I do. I don't know why it makes me laugh, but, um,

31:36Kyle Brandt:so what is it when he asked for like, can I get a PS five or something? Or can we have pizza for dinner? And you, that's when it comes up.

31:41Bill Simmons:Yeah.

31:42Kyle Brandt:Yeah. Can we go,

31:43Bill Simmons:are you going to take me to the Cooper game? I can't. I'm going with somebody. You will never get this,

31:48Kyle Brandt:but they put them with Pat Hagger. who appears to be the least funny person ever put on camera to teach him comedy. And he tells a story about his special needs brother breaking out of the cage to rape his sister and then gets a high five from Pat about the story.

32:03Bill Simmons:And then Pat's realizing in real time, oh God, they're filming this.

32:06Kyle Brandt:Yes. And then he's like, you know what we need to teach this visitor to our country? Let's do 2006 not jokes, which is 13 years, I think, after Wayne's World. No one was making not jokes. And then Sasha Baron just butchers it by fucking it up over and over. It's so good.

32:23Bill Simmons:Did you see there's a wide shot of the chalkboard where he has all these things written down? And there's this one side that has some of the darkest shit that I guess he was going to go through with Borat. I don't know if Pat Haggerty did that or the directors did that.

32:38Kyle Brandt:Yeah, it's like the darkest molestation, sexual, all this shit. I got to think that maybe the directors did that because Haggerty is like this stupid blazer with gold buttons like he's going to a piano recital. He's going to teach comedy. It's a great scene.

32:50Bill Simmons:Borat watching TV, which is the second time I almost fell off the treadmill because it kills me when he's flicking channels and married with children comes on. And Al Bundy makes like some joke and Borat's like, ha ha ha ha! All right.

33:07Kyle Brandt:We're so in lockstep. I have this for what she's the best. Dude, good old fashioned hotel channel surfing. Post it up on your bed. you got room service coming, you ordered a chicken quesadilla he flicks through cops, married with children a quick jingle all the way with our guy Arnold and Jake Lloyd and then Baywatch and it's like fuck I wish I could go back and just channel surf because Baywatch will go to commercial then you go back to married with children and then you go back to a little bit of jingle all the way he's so happy and so am I

33:38Bill Simmons:be careful CJ that's it this movie has so many good like 27 second moments. It does. And then at the feminist meeting when he, when he, it fades away from the dialogue and he goes, I could not concentrate what the old man was saying. A lot of great jokes. Driving instructions funny. Borat crashing channel 16.

34:04Kyle Brandt:First of all, hold on. How about in the feminist meeting where he goes, hey, pussycat, give me a smile. What's the matter, baby? What's the matter? these feminist women are dead serious about shitting these pussycat and baby in them killed me in the theater and then everybody laughed and he said i had no idea what this old man was saying everybody laughed it's mean but they laughed uh anyway yes go driving instruction

34:27Bill Simmons:uh borat on channel 16 the weatherman kills me in this love it we're soon of all time he's the only one who really fully understands how funny this is he's just like it can barely do the weather um we mentioned the kroger valley valley dale imperial rodeo whatever it's called yeah um don't sleep on how great i don't know if he's the head of the rodeo or the director of the rodeo but i know where you're going one of the one minute all-time uh whatever he is he checks

34:57Kyle Brandt:he's crossing lines oh the guy about that's what we're trying to get done here and he gives the high five and all the end and he talks about the gays yeah i love that he's talking about the gays and he's wearing like a yellow bandana thingy bandana around his neck like some sort of scarf with his cowboy hat and his spurs what is he talking about i also love the crowd shots as he's

35:18Bill Simmons:as he's getting them riled up before the song yeah and it's like the third time it cuts to the crowd and he's like we'll drink the terrorist blood and there's one guy in the crowd is like yeah

35:27Kyle Brandt:but he's like completely genuine so that nothing will live on their soil but the lizard hell yeah it's so funny just to watch the crowd

35:38Bill Simmons:how do you think though I was going to do this in unanswerables but how do you think the horse fell over it felt like that was

35:43Kyle Brandt:a legitimate thing I think that's a random coincidence where maybe it was getting spooked by the booze and then they cut right after it falls because it's like I just think

35:52Bill Simmons:it happened because I remember the TV ads the horse falling the horse falling was like Borat coming you know Monday or whatever but the horse falling it was It's almost like, what is this movie?

36:05Kyle Brandt:It was just a miracle. And I think Todd Phillips left right after the horse fell. I have to like, there's so much respect you have to give to their producers and all the people doing work. When they get the announcer to do that, please welcome Borat Segdia from Kazakhstan. Like it's so staged and set up and they obviously had a conversation about how to, and then he walks out there in his dumb walk. It's all set up so well, even before he starts singing. It's just so well done.

36:31Bill Simmons:It's the only time he seems a little nervous. hell yeah he seems nervous his voice is definitely like not a hundred percent um yeah the uh the jewish airbnb or wherever the better breakfast that he's at i think this is my favorite scene i think this is the most rewatchable for me i don't know why i think it's like a perfectly constructed comedy scene um and we should mention sasha barricone is jewish yes and so a lot of the jewish stuff he's doing in this it's pretty funny that he's flipping around but just him going in there and then she was like what do you mean jewish why do and she's like well we're jewish and all of a sudden like the halloween music comes in and they're looking around um the the shifting the shapes them busting out of there like they're at the end of django and chain like every piece of that i think is just like a perfect comedy scene see this is a referendum on the viewer

37:26Kyle Brandt:on me that to me is almost the pee break scene and i'll tell you why oh i wouldn't hear it i I feel so bad for those people. I'm getting old and I'm getting soft. And like, those two people are so nice. And they're like, here's your sandwich. Here's your bed. Do you want another pillow? Welcome. These are my paintings. Wow. And he's calling them a devil and throwing money at them. It's like, I know that's the joke. And I know where he's coming from. But like, I get softer. Those people are so fucking nice.

37:54Bill Simmons:See, the only people I feel bad for in this movie are the feminists, the old man, when he makes the old man joke, just her watching that after. but the one who takes the biggest the next scene is the Southern Manor's dinner. Oh, come on, let's go. When he says there's three wives, he's like, you two in my country, not so much.

38:13Kyle Brandt:Not so much.

38:14Bill Simmons:It's just an absolute drive-by shooting of that poor lady.

38:18Kyle Brandt:And her husband's sitting there.

38:19Bill Simmons:Yeah, I almost wondered if they should have cut that. It's by far the meanest moment in the movie, in a movie that's pretty mean.

38:25Kyle Brandt:My country, they go crazy for you two, and then pause. You not so much. Holy shit, that's brutal.

38:32Bill Simmons:So that has, it has the retired retarded where he keeps getting confused by the guy. Yep. Is it physical or mental?

38:42Kyle Brandt:And then he goes, it's very nice you let someone at table with retardation. He's like, no, no, no, no. It's not, that's old Ali G show stuff. It does it all the time.

38:51Bill Simmons:But the poop in the bag is one of the craziest moments, I think, in a comedy. It's unbelievable. I always forget how unbelievable it is. a lot of unanswerable questions about was that was that actually his poop did he poop in a bag did they get poop from outside what happened like the lady's reaction is unbelievable where she's just like oh yeah oh like she doesn't i don't then you put yourself in the shoes of like what

39:18Kyle Brandt:would i do if this happened um by the way what do you do with the poop bag you just take it and put it like in your street garbage cans because you can't like empty it in the toilet and you can't flush the bag i guess you just take it to the street like a dog poop right i wish i wish sasha

39:34Bill Simmons:was here we could just ask him like so the poop yeah what ended up happening yeah but did you

39:40Kyle Brandt:pour it in the toilet and then and then throw the bag away that moment was so big that in the i think it was at the end of the sopranos run when sopranos was best show and biggest show in the world remember like aj gets really depressed and he ends up with a suicide attempt meadow comes in is like, oh my God, did you see Borat when he brings the poop to the table? It's so funny. And then AJ's like, it wasn't fair to the people involved. They were trapped. And like, there was a whole conversation about that shit scene in The Sopranos about how funny it is. And Meadow's right.

40:12Bill Simmons:Sopranos, by the way, probably the other funniest thing going on in 2006, because that was when Pauly Walnuts was really going to another level. That was when we had the Vito Vito blowing the guy no no no

40:24Kyle Brandt:Johnny Cakes

40:24Bill Simmons:no is it when the guy Meadow's boyfriend is telling the story yeah no Vito wasn't Vito was actually blowing the other guy and Paul's like what

40:34Kyle Brandt:son of a bitch and Tony just walks away what's to discuss he's gotta go they're gonna kill him because of that I mean that Johnny Cakes storyline is one of the best storylines ever

40:44Bill Simmons:the naked fight we talked about the giant blackout for Borat's cock was just such a great idea. It's like a foot and a half.

40:54Kyle Brandt:So I had a question about that. If Sasha's all in, why did they blur it? Did they blur it to make a joke because Boris' penis is big or did they just not want to show Sasha's penis?

41:04Bill Simmons:I think his dick is so big we had to do this giant... But he's also producing the movie, so maybe he's trying to... You know. Yeah.

41:14Kyle Brandt:Is it better if Sasha's just fully visibly naked the whole time and you just see it?

41:21Bill Simmons:I think I'm better with this version

41:24Kyle Brandt:It's hard to, I mean it's so good I think you just leave it as it is But I had that under picking nits I'm like why, that's a half measure, let's see it Why are we blurring things, but I think you might be right

41:33Bill Simmons:It's an all time comedy scene, the only reason it's not most rewatchable in the movie for me is Azimut's There's like 10 seconds here that it's among the most disgusting things that have ever been in a movie Like Azimut's, at one point he's like spreading Azumat's cheeks. It's like actual butthole and balls.

41:52Kyle Brandt:They fight. Then they go to like a doggy style position. Yeah. And then they get into 69 where his balls are on Borat's face. And then Azumat sits down on his face like Yokozuna. Yeah. And that is when it's the most disgusting by far.

42:08Bill Simmons:It's really horrifying.

42:10Kyle Brandt:This is when they won the Golden Globe and Sasha gets up there and he tells the story of that scene in his acceptance speech. and he says, my choice was either death or to breathe in the air that had been trapped in a small pocket beneath his buttocks for 30 years. If not for that rancid bubble, I would not be here today. And everyone goes crazy at the Golden Globes and it's perfect.

42:29Bill Simmons:I did see this in the movie theater because I definitely saw that scene in the theater.

42:33Kyle Brandt:That's the one you remember.

42:34Bill Simmons:I just remember when I watched it with Jacko and that's what it was. Jacko, one of them hadn't seen it or both of them hadn't seen it. And so I was reliving it through them. But I definitely saw that in the theater.

42:44Kyle Brandt:And that's before they even get to the elevator. and then the one guy standing in the elevator who won't look at the camera and won't leave laugh out loud hilarious and then they go into the stupid realtors conference that are fighting and getting tackled it keeps going people screaming, I was screaming

42:59Bill Simmons:the elevator scene couldn't tell if that was rigged or not which part? when they get in the elevator with all those people the people underreacted a little bit I just feel like I would be way more horrified if two naked guys came in an elevator with me.

43:17Kyle Brandt:And there's women in there. Yeah. There's a dude in there. The part with the elevator part, I can't speak to. There's stuff out there about the Realtors Conference where that was like the third time that they did that in a different conference room because in the first two times, like no one did anything. They just sat there and didn't really react. Sometimes people in those conferences are just so comatose and laconic. They just don't react. But finally they got up and tackled them and all that shit and that's the one they but they had to do that shit three times pamela anderson scene

43:46Bill Simmons:yeah um apparently she knew she was in on it but the bodyguards weren't so they actually tackle him and do the whole thing um her him trying to bag her is hilarious absolutely awesome how you come up with that um oh i i jumped ahead the pamela anderson there's two more before that that uh What do you got? I got my, the frat guys in the van.

44:12Kyle Brandt:Infamous scene. Infamous scene.

44:14Bill Simmons:We hit the slavery, misogyny, anti-Semitism trifecta. Somebody says at one point, our country, the minorities have more power. They put in the Pam tape and they're trying to explain to him, she's no virgin Borat. He's like, no, what do you mean? They keep calling him Boris. And then at the end, one of the drunk guys says, do not let a woman ever, ever make you who you are. I can't decide if that was great advice or incoherent.

44:41Kyle Brandt:That's the Coach Finstock Award.

44:43Bill Simmons:Do not let a woman ever, ever make you who you are. What does that even mean?

44:49Kyle Brandt:I think you do whatever she says and you follow her around and some sort of antiquated bullshit like that. Guy's drunk as hell. Jack and Daniels. Guys are hammered.

44:57Bill Simmons:That one guy, the guy in the middle is about as hammered as you can be on camera.

45:02Kyle Brandt:The one who says, I call people and I have sex with them and I don't call them back. Yeah. and Borat's like, you don't call them because they don't have a phone, right? And he's like, no, no, no. It's because they don't have my respect. That was a big talking point. I feel like that would have been on The View and all that. And these kids, quote unquote, were they victimized? And I watched it now this time back, ready to be like, do I feel defensive? Not at all. Those kids are fucking idiots. I was in a fraternity. I was president of a fraternity. Those guys are adults. There's a big ass camera filming them.

45:33Kyle Brandt:They know they're on camera. It was just like, I didn't feel any protectiveness at all. Those idiots at all.

45:38Bill Simmons:Couldn't agree more. And then Borat gets cleansed in the church. That was the last one. Let the tongue go! That was the last one.

45:47Kyle Brandt:That was the best.

45:48Bill Simmons:And then the Pamela thing. So what do you have for most rewatchable?

45:51Kyle Brandt:It's between the dinner scene and the naked fight. The naked fight is the most memorable scene. I actually think the dinner scene is the most Sasha Baron Cohen scene that you could possibly do with the talk and the shitting and then not so much you. So I also, I don't think I need to rewatch Azimut that much. Like once a year, I'll see naked Azimut. I think it's a dinner table scene for me.

46:14Bill Simmons:I have, I like the Jewish Airbnb right in a Southern Manor's dinner is my favorite stretch of the movie. It's excellent. What's the most 2006 thing about this movie? Pre-social media. Mid-2000s, Muslim resentment and it's in high gear and they're tapping into that. I think that's very specific.

46:33Kyle Brandt:They are.

46:34Bill Simmons:The Pam Anderson tape, like a little bit of a nostalgia. It's been 10 years since it happened. She's been kind of like six, seven years out of the limelight. Everything with her. I feel like 2006 is the perfect spot to do all that. Pam having an autograph line and not a selfie line feels very 2006.

46:55Kyle Brandt:At a Virgin Megastore?

46:56Bill Simmons:Yeah, at a Virgin Megastore.

46:58Kyle Brandt:and i gotta listen i gotta say i had a very close relationship with the pamela tape like that got me through college i'm telling you it dropped right when i got into college and you would download like eight second clips of it from lime wire or something like that and you just could not fucking believe what you're saying but we should do the pam anderson tape and the rewatchables when are we doing that let's get in here you me and van we'll just do it it really was 2001 a

47:21Bill Simmons:space odyssey for sex tapes it was it was the big bang theory um the other one i have is the ipod mini where the the neighbor that he hates in kazakhstan um that that uh borat has an ipad and this guy has an ipad mini and he's pissed off about it like that so 2006 are you talking about new sutan tuli akba yeah i'm talking about him so they're sitting in the writer's room all right

47:46Kyle Brandt:guys, we have a comedy classic. We got to stick the landing. Our last joke of the movie. What's it going to be? Let's make an iPod mini joke. Not even an iPod joke. In the greater iPod expanded universe, a joke within a joke. Everybody know they're for girls. I think that's the most 2006 thing. The iPod mini closer, the walk-off.

48:08Bill Simmons:The Floyd Gondoli butter on my ass and lollipops in my mouth the word for something I just enjoy. What do you have? What do you have?

48:15Kyle Brandt:I had channel surfing in a hotel room by yourself with room service, just jumping around and seeing dumb TV shows.

48:21Bill Simmons:I had a comedy that takes place in really low budget local news TV. Um, this has been a huge resurgence for that whole industry with Instagram and Instagram reels and the amount of funny things that happen on these weird, these things that are being broadcast in Jacksonville, Mississippi, or like Akron, Ohio, these places where you don't realize how much comedy comes out of this. All these weird people, they're either at the beginning of their careers or the end of their careers. There's never anyone in the middle and just weird shit happens. So I was glad that he

48:57Kyle Brandt:some of my favorite clips, local news bloopers. There's one of them where the lady says coming up, he climbed Mount Everest, but he's gay. I mean, he's blind. Excuse me. She messes it up. And it's like my wife and i watch that and laugh every single time it's it's for everyone all ages can laugh at local news bloopers and it's that that news station they go to is jackson mississippi media market 99 yeah he just stands up in the middle of the interview and when we start can i have a microphone we are live so yeah the guy's doing weather for kazoo city or whatever the fuck um what's age the best what do you got what's age the best i have um just we we've kind of covered him pre-smartphone public fuckery where nobody's tweeting that borat's out i remember when i was a sophomore in college tom green came to campus tom green was like was starting to do a show on hbo or on mtv and like everyone was just talking about it spread like this rumor like oh my god tom green's here tom green's here and everyone ran to go and find him but we weren't tweeting about it there were no camera phones it was nothing and watching this guy at the rodeo in New York city and all anybody has in their hands is a beer.

50:07Kyle Brandt:It's awesome. And I miss it.

50:10Bill Simmons:I have a, you will never get this saying it in real life. I have kid rock divorcing PM Anderson after he saw this movie being mad. What is this? I heard about this. Um, he said, uh, he just reacted very unfavorably and there's, um, thought she was said some bad words. Um, good for her though. Get away from kid rock.

50:32Kyle Brandt:did Kid Rock think that she was a virgin like Borat Kid Rock have you ever seen Pam Anderson

50:36Bill Simmons:Kazakhstan in 2020 changed their travel slogan to very nice so congrats to them the language section of the DVD if you choose Hebrew funny stuff happens I would encourage that if you have it and then you mentioned how they filmed it three times the naked running into the conference scene the first time was an engineering lecture in Dallas and nobody really reacted. I almost, that could almost be like a mini documentary to me. How do you not react to that? I don't know. You have two naked guys running in your conference and people are like, oh, that's weird. What the fuck? My number one, what's age the best though?

51:17Bill Simmons:Yeah. I wrote down eight random lines that just make me laugh. Just like throwaway lines, which I think is the key to this movie.

51:26Kyle Brandt:All right, all right, go on.

51:27Bill Simmons:I mentioned one already. irking not too much raping humans only um one of the ones that almost made me find the uh fall off the treadmill when they're he's buying the car the car seems great we didn't even talk about that and he's doing the price and he goes how about 85 and spits on his hand for the handshake

51:46Kyle Brandt:you guys let's say 117 why don't we call it 85 no let's call it 117 it's great um when azimod is

51:55Bill Simmons:cleaning him and he turns around and he goes, how's my back, pussy?

52:04Bill Simmons:Her vagine hang like sleeve of wizard.

52:08Kyle Brandt:Unbelievable.

52:09Bill Simmons:Then he talks about when he was with the guys from the parade and he goes, even though my annulus was broken, just like throwaway start to a monologue of a new party. Azumut, when they're in the Civil War store after he breaks the stuff and they're trying to negotiate Asimov goes, have you offered the pubic hair? Which he had already offered. Making romance explosion on her stomach. Just that's thrown in there. But then when he's yelling at Asimov on Hollywood Boulevard and the Grim Reaper

52:37Kyle Brandt:comes over, he goes, hey, fuck off, Death. Yes.

52:44Bill Simmons:Those were all like the random throwaways that killed me. Anyway. Great shot, Gordor Award, most cinematic shot. Probably Borat after getting touched by Jesus when he they have the wide shot of him and he he kind of rises up, but it's not like this is a crazily directed movie. What did you have?

53:00Kyle Brandt:it's deliberately lo-fi. The one that really makes me laugh, it could be the cover of the movie. Azumar is like freshening up with a swamp and like splashing water all over his neck. And then they pan right. And Borat just pissing into the same water. That could be an album cover. It's so good. I love it. Great side gag.

53:19Bill Simmons:Chess Rockwell, Brock Landers award for best character name. Azamat Bagadov

53:26Kyle Brandt:I got in the finals I got Azamat Bagadov and Nusutan Tuli Akbar in the finals

53:32Bill Simmons:alright we don't get to hand this category out very often the Indiana Jones Ransom Body Odor Award so writer Dan Mazur said Sacha Baron Cohen lived in that mustache hair for a year in his life wherever he went he never changed because he thought Borat would smell he's a method actor he only had that suit that underwear the whole time and he reeked disgusting like they're driving through like the south like there's sweaty parts i can't even

54:03Kyle Brandt:imagine how bad he smoked and think about all he does everything he does is so physical he's always grabbing the people and touching them and wrestling and hugging them and it's like i i don't i think body odor is like way more disgusting than bad breath yeah farts you name it body odor is fucking rancid. When I read that about his suit was never washed during the deep South, like my mouth dried up. It's so gross, but it's also so perfect for Borat.

54:29Bill Simmons:So where would you put it on a scale of zero to Indiana Jones? It might be like a 9.8.

54:36Kyle Brandt:Well, Indy's comes from his own like kind of skin and chest. Like he's scantily clad. Borat with that dense, thick, fibered suit, I think it's over a nine for sure. I'd rather

54:48Bill Simmons:smell indie than smell borax i mean indy's in some really hot countries he's like in the desert

54:53Kyle Brandt:wearing the same suit for like months fighting snakes kid cutty pursued happiness award we could

54:59Bill Simmons:either go steppenwolf's born to be wild or mc hammer can't touch this i'll let you decide

55:04Kyle Brandt:it's the music in this movie is like a deliberately corny foreigners idea of american music don't sleep on the second they see pamela we hit the take my breath away from berlin right right But it's like, I would say Born to be Wild is probably the cheesiest road trip song you could ever come up with. So I would go with that.

55:23Bill Simmons:It's the generic, generic, generic version. All right, we're gonna take a break. Come back with your flex category. This episode is brought to you by Spectrum Business. Fast, reliable internet means everything for your business. And even this podcast. That's why I trust Spectrum Business. They keep companies of all sizes connected with internet, advanced wifi, phone, TV, mobile services, plus 24 seven US-based support, millions of business owners already trust Spectrum Business. So visit spectrum.com slash business to learn more. Restrictions apply. Service is not available in all areas. This episode is brought to you by WeatherTech.

56:00Bill Simmons:Everyone knows winter is the MVP in making a mess. You don't need WeatherTech floor liners in the summer unless you hit the beach or go camping. Then you'd want a cargo liner or a road trip goes sideways, ketchup goes rogue, ice cream drips. Yeah, you'd be pretty happy about those WeatherTech seat protectors. So just to be clear as the mud, you're inevitably gonna step into the summer. You don't need WeatherTech unless you plan on doing summer. Visit weathertech.com today. All right, flex category. What do you got, Kyle Brandt?

56:30Kyle Brandt:All right, so we're on the same page, Bill, because I went with maybe my favorite named category, which is the I Used to Fuck Guys Like You in Prison award for the craziest line in the movie. Yeah. You wrote down a few. I have three. These are the ones like when he does the narration, it's so well written because he starts talking normally. And then just as you think he's just going to give us narration, he sucker punches you right at the end. Like my hobbies, ping pong, sunbath, disco dancing. And on weekends, I trail to capital city and watch ladies while they make a toilet, like fucking crazy.

57:03Kyle Brandt:And then he has pictures. Thank you. All right. Number two, I arrive in America's airport with clothings, U.S. dollars and a jar of gypsy tears to protect me from AIDS it's that one and that is the one you already said which I'm saying again because it's my favorite line in the movie the only thing keeping me going was my dream of one day holding Pamela in my arms and then making romance explosion on her stomach romance explosion is going to be my fantasy team this year it's going to be a punk rock band I love it fucking awesome I watched this movie this week and I was texting my friends about romance explosion and it was all every ha ha ha ha ha.

57:41Kyle Brandt:It's so good.

57:42Bill Simmons:Home run. The got two awards for the naked fight. The he got game hooker scene for most awkward scene. Someone randomly walks in the room. And honestly, not just because you're here. The Steven Seagal hard to kill. Did this movie need a better intimacy coordinator? It might have. You don't really think about intimacy coordinators, you know, beyond just the normal sex scenes. but I think we might have needed somebody on set for this. Like, don't put Azumar, don't put your asshole in Sacha Baron Cohen's face. Like, he might actually get hepatitis.

58:14Kyle Brandt:Question about that. I had that on Unanswerable. Do you think that Azumar washed thoroughly before that scene? Like, did he get down under there and, like, clean all that? Like, out of professional courtesy?

58:24Bill Simmons:Yeah, I hope so.

58:24Kyle Brandt:Because Borat is not washing. We just started. He's going to stink. So when Sacha's putting... How many times did they do that scene? He might have put his face in there 10 times. Is it like porn? Like I think in, remember like Becky Barnett and she's like, he's like, I'm going to go wash my vagina. You want it clean, don't you? Yeah. Did Azamut say, I'm going to go wash my grundle? Like you want it clean, don't you? I would hope that there was a washing that happened before that scene.

58:47Bill Simmons:Do you think this is the only podcast where somebody can seamlessly tie Becky Barnett and Azamut together and everyone listening will know what that means? I say yes. You're goddamn right it is, Bill. I think it is. That's why we're closing in on 500 episodes. That's right. The Butch's Girlfriend Award for weak link of the film. honestly the length i wish this movie was 10 minutes longer it's too short it bothers me i feel like there's two more scenes and i have an idea for a scene later but i know it's a whole leave you wanting more but i really feel like there's you're on a road trip you can literally go anywhere you can give me any other two three minute scene i just feel like we're short we have it the deleted scenes are funny

59:30Kyle Brandt:what yeah put them in you know what six minutes how about a clean 90 just get us to 90 why 84 who decided that what do you have the only time i remember it the the butch's girlfriend being the movie's too short i think we said the same thing for robocop which is also really short it's a rare handout though i i'm back to the same thing with mine the the weak link of this movie is is it really fucked up like i know it's funny and i'm not being super serious about it but in the power ranking of people that I feel the worst for. Oh yeah. That, that etiquette lady who teaches them how to like be a gentleman at a dinner.

1:00:05Kyle Brandt:She is this like, apparently nice looking mother, grandmother, maybe so polite. And she's the one who he breaks out the Polaroids with the kid and his just big old dick hanging out. Right. So it's one thing that lady has to see those pictures. It's disturbing. Bill, this movie was in every AMC, every cineplex around the country, around most of the world, that woman in her life to this day is like you looked at the cock pictures with that guy. That's humiliating for that woman. And it's not like the bigoted frat boys. Fuck them and all the racist and anti-Semites. This is a nice woman teaching them to have manners at the table.

1:00:39Kyle Brandt:And if you really sit with it for a second, it's kind of fucked up. That's the weak link.

1:00:43Bill Simmons:Yeah, that, the lady at the manners dinner takes the shot. The feminist lady. Yeah, there's a couple tough. What's aged the worst? you mentioned this earlier people doing borat impressions after the movie yeah and i just the wayne's world effect so wayne's world in the 90s that happened borat in the 2000s i'm not sure what the 2010s version is of the movie that immediately people began imitating and then kind of ruined the

1:01:10Kyle Brandt:movie a little bit in a very well everyone was definitely doing a lot of anchorman in the 2000s and then maybe the hangover or something like that but the borat one was the worst like and i i had this for Apex Mountain. Did you think this is Apex Mountain for movies that set off accent frenzies? Everyone shout out to our movie Fargo. Everyone was going, oh, you betcha, yeah. In any Arnold movie, everyone would do that. But every person under the sun was saying, high five, my wife. And it was annoying.

1:01:40Bill Simmons:Or it says the N-word in this movie. That's also the worst. Ruffalo Hannah Rubinick Partridge overacting award. I don't know. It's a mockument. Yeah, I didn't have one either.

1:01:51Kyle Brandt:I did have one. I did have one age the worst, though. This is you're going to. Yeah. And I wish Craig was here because he would relate to this. Watching porn with your boys like they're on that motorhome and they just throw on a DVD of porn and they're just like sitting around drinking and watching it. Yeah. I don't think this generation does that or would get it. No, it was a thing back in the day. You would have a videotape and seven of your friends would just sit around watching porn together and laughing at it. And that's why, because the porn was so fucking funny back then. Yeah. And the 70s and 80s stuff was, you'd watch it.

1:02:25Kyle Brandt:And just as like, you're watching a movie. Good what's age.

1:02:28Bill Simmons:So that might be a what's age the best.

1:02:30Kyle Brandt:That's true.

1:02:31Bill Simmons:The CR thinks Luke Wilson could have been Harrison Ford hottest take award. I, uh, I'd like to test drive. Sacha Baron Cohen is in the best actor race in 07.

1:02:42Kyle Brandt:Oh, what do you got? Let's go.

1:02:44Bill Simmons:Forrest Whitaker wins for last King of Scotland. Leo and blood diamond. Ryan Gosling, Hap Nelson, Peter O'Toole in Venus, and Will Smith in The Pursuit of Happiness. I'm bumping Peter O'Toole. That was an old man award that he got nominated. We're putting Sacha Baron Cohen in there. Once again, we've talked about this all month. The Academy does not respect comedies. There's no way him and Borat was not one of the five best performances in 2006. So I think he should be in there.

1:03:13Kyle Brandt:I don't love Leo there either. And the accent's ridiculous in Blood Diamond. We know that. You laugh at it when you watch it. He's done much better roles. I would say that's a little hurtful. I don't know. I mean, bang, bang, bling, bling. What is Leo doing there, dude? A lot better roles for Leo. But I think it would have been worth him winning it just for the speech that he would have given at the Oscars. Oh my God, that's another reason.

1:03:39Bill Simmons:It gets them to the Oscars. Best actor in a supporting role. I don't know if you want to test drive Azumar here. Of course I do. Let's start it off. Alan Arkin wins for Little Miss Sunshine. Jackie Earl Haley, Little Children. Demon Hunsu for Blood Diamond. Eddie Murphy, Dreamgirls. Mark Wahlberg for The Departed. I don't think there's room for Asimov, unfortunately. I'm happy with those five.

1:04:01Kyle Brandt:Yeah. Alan Arkin, fuck a lot of women. And Little Miss Sunshine is good. I like that rule.

1:04:07Bill Simmons:What do you have for hottest take?

1:04:09Kyle Brandt:All right, I'm going to choose. This is hot. My hottest take is I think we as a culture should go back to doing the kiss left, kiss right greeting i'm kind of into it bill i think it's it's quick left right it's crisp it's kind of classy and debonair you got to be secure with yourself and honestly like in terms of like you know germs and stuff hands are a lot more disgusting than faces we're touching everybody's hands all the time i would just kiss kiss and i'm not even saying like you know like with your wife's friend you know really i'm talking about like with your boys like you show up to a fantasy draft and start knocking out left-right kisses.

1:04:46Kyle Brandt:Isaiah and Magic would do it. There's some kind of retro cool to it thing. That's my take. I think we should bring that back. You don't think COVID ruined it? I think it's back now. Our next pandemic is coming, but before it does, let's do a little kiss-kiss. And the best thing that Borat does, occasionally he'll push his luck and he'll go kiss-kiss and then down the middle on the lips. And only to men, never the women. It's so good.

1:05:12Bill Simmons:Casting what-ifs, there weren't really any except for uh johnny depp george clooney and steve martin all wanted to be in the movie because they loved sasha baron cohen and he was like no thanks um best that keyword ken davidian yeah he became i didn't even know who he was now he just became azamut dm waiters i could offer you lanelle the prostitute borat's first wife oxana drunk uh south carolina frat guy below we didn't never saw below but i still feel like he's eligible he's a big his presence looms the gypsy estate sale lady uh pamela anderson and then the the cute couple that own the uh airbnb or whatever it's called um i think car salesman is does his

1:05:56Kyle Brandt:job and that he just lets borat get every joke out they start the scene with what does a car for a woman who is shaved down there. And he goes, well, that'd be a Corvette. That guy's totally game. Yeah. But I think the minimal amount of work with the maximum impact is Borat's son, Huey Lewis, who is holding him in the photographs with just his full dick out. And then as if that wasn't enough, you go to the next picture and it's Borat's face right next to the penis saying how proud he is of it. I think it's Huey Lewis, the son.

1:06:27Bill Simmons:That's the best. I love the funniest thing is how they spell it. they spell H-O-O-E-Y Lewis. It's all together too. Yes. It's so good. What an homage to Huey Lewis. Okay. Recasting couch directors. Yeah. I have one here. It's a borderline nitpick too. Okay. And it ties into my theory that this movie should be longer. It's incredibly upsetting and I think a huge miss and the biggest flaw of this movie that we don't have a Vegas scene.

1:07:03Kyle Brandt:Okay, go on.

1:07:03Bill Simmons:It's just fucking sitting there. We're driving east to west. We're coming up from Texas toward California. It's a no-brainer. We could have some sort of Borat gambling scene.

1:07:15Kyle Brandt:You're so right.

1:07:16Bill Simmons:We get to tie into the weird casino world, him trying to figure out what's happening, him doing something funny. Strip club could be in there, blackjack, roulette. I just feel like it's the easiest six minutes they ever could have had. It really bums me out.

1:07:29Kyle Brandt:dude that's like if if you just sit him at a blackjack table and he just have him start touching the cards like it would be chaos immediately like grabbing chips from other people like it's just you know what he would do he would take out his bag of pubic hair and like try to put that to double down and then the pit boss would come over that's dude that's a great

1:07:47Bill Simmons:idea how do they let the roulette him betting on some crazy number because it reminds him of and something truly offensive from his family and i i don't know there's just so many ways to go in a casino.

1:07:59Kyle Brandt:The buffets, the pool. You could do the mankini at the pool. Yeah.

1:08:02Bill Simmons:Put Azumar in the topless pool with the wind.

1:08:07Kyle Brandt:The whole movie could be Vegas. Honestly, that could have been the sequel.

1:08:10Bill Simmons:Yeah, Borat goes to Vegas. Really missed out. Half-Fast Center Research. We mentioned a bunch of this stuff. You mentioned Huey Lewis. Played by an adult porn star named Stoney who was on the gay side of the porn. 60 movies, nearly 50 box covers, nominated for a 2001 Gay VN Award, Best Newcomer.

1:08:36Kyle Brandt:What are you doing the work? Not the AVN. There's a Gay VN Award? Is that what I heard? The Gay VN. I'm into it. Not televised.

1:08:42Bill Simmons:I don't know if ESPN Plus has been looking at it. I know they love live content. I'll ask my new co-workers. Yeah, ask your new. Tell them there's some live content available. I will.

1:08:50Kyle Brandt:I will.

1:08:50Bill Simmons:After Borat, Stoney becomes a trans porn star named Brittany Cox, and it's spelled C-O-X capital second X lowercase third X.

1:09:00Kyle Brandt:I like it.

1:09:01Bill Simmons:So that's all my research on Huey Lewis.

1:09:04Kyle Brandt:No, I'm proud of you. You did the work. That's great.

1:09:08Bill Simmons:DVD includes several deleted scenes. We talked about some of them. One of them was getting a massage at a hotel. Great. Another was visiting an animal shelter to adopt a dog that can protect him from Jews. That sounded funny. Like when we go back to 10 minutes, there's a couple. And then we mentioned that porn scene one. And then people that sued the movie and lost. The two frat brothers. A guy in the subway when the chicken got released on the subway. The Baltimore driving instructor wanted 100 ,000 in damages. Didn't get it. The getaway Schrager's buddy from Peter Luger Steakhouse.

1:09:44Kyle Brandt:Pop you on the fucking balls. Yeah.

1:09:46Bill Simmons:He didn't get it. Everybody lost who tried to sue them. And the guy, Dan Mazur, said that they had somebody who used to be public enemies lawyer who was semi-retired, who was just crushing every suit. Yeah, that was their killer.

1:10:00Kyle Brandt:What happened with that driving instructor at the end of the scene in Borat? It's like, are you my friend? He's like, yes, I'm your friend. Do you like me? Yes, I like. Will you be my boyfriend? The guy goes, no, I'm not. Well, yeah, all right. I could be your boyfriend. And then the scene cuts. What was that? Was he trying to take a run at Borat or something? I don't know.

1:10:15Bill Simmons:Maybe that's why he sued. He didn't like to edit. I think it might have been. Yeah.

1:10:18Kyle Brandt:Because he was pretty cool the rest of the scene and then immediately he's like, yeah, I'll be your boyfriend. Holy shit. What are they going to get it on? That's so weird. Did I say that? Yeah.

1:10:25Bill Simmons:The news producer of the Jackson, Mississippi show claimed afterwards that Borat's appearance led to her losing her job. Well,

1:10:34Kyle Brandt:I hope not. I hate to hear it.

1:10:37Bill Simmons:And then Todd Phillips leaves. This is just random. Todd Phillips, they shoot for 11 days. Todd Phillips leaves because it created differences. They're trying to figure out how to add some stuff. Sasha Baron Cohen's playing basketball at Gary Shandling's house has some sort of thing and breaks his foot and now is out for another eight to ten weeks. So they filmed the movie and had to stop for like basically three months because the director and then because somehow at Gary Shandling's house, which by all accounts was not the most heated basketball game every week.

1:11:09Kyle Brandt:Yeah, I want to hear what's the run like there. I've never heard of the Gary Shandling game.

1:11:12Bill Simmons:I mean, I know some of the people that played in that game, and I don't think it was exactly super competitive. So somehow he broke his foot anyway, and then they found Larry Charles.

1:11:25Kyle Brandt:Back in my day, I used to do some games. I used to play some games with people you know. I used to go to a Mike Toland game. I would go to a Brian Robbins game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They had a good game. But I never did the Gary Shandling. Holy shit. That's cool.

1:11:37Bill Simmons:A lot of comedians going half speed.

1:11:39Kyle Brandt:Yeah, yeah.

1:11:41Bill Simmons:Apex Mountain Sacha Baron Cohen is a yes I think this is the biggest he's ever been after this movie

1:11:47Kyle Brandt:huge, he signed whatever he wanted to do after this I said the movie gets shown up in The Sopranos he's everywhere, he breaks character wins a Golden Globe, definitely

1:11:56Bill Simmons:Pussy Magnets? Apex Mountain?

1:12:01Kyle Brandt:I think it has to be there's not an actual magnet, they just mean the car

1:12:06Bill Simmons:Yeah, it's okay, I still want it you installed if I give you money?

1:12:10Kyle Brandt:That's such a great bit. Sketch comedy movies?

1:12:15Kyle Brandt:Is it better than Wayne's World? I love Wayne's World, but it's close.

1:12:22Bill Simmons:I have to think about that. Maybe it's the 2000s version of Wayne's World. Ken Davidian, definitely. Socks full of shit? I'm going to say yes. Virgin virgin store book autograph assaults Mercedes. The Hotel Wellington, yes. Luenelle who played the prostitute and then has bounced around on some other stuff, but this is probably the peak I'm guessing.

1:12:52Kyle Brandt:I have a knit to pick with Luenelle. They should have cast a real prostitute. I don't like that they cast an actor for that. I remember when I saw the movie I recognized her because she had been in some things that I'd known. And I was like what the hell? Just get a real prostitute. It takes me out of it the more real actors they have the worse it gets i don't think they should have done that it's a good note potassium exporters the best in the world kovakstein yes shape-shifting

1:13:16Bill Simmons:cockroaches i'm gonna say they apex that one pamela anderson no and then uh naked brawls 100

1:13:23Kyle Brandt:yes i have male nudity in movies is that it and i will give you forgetting sarah marshall jason Siegel full frontal.

1:13:31Bill Simmons:They brought it back in that too. They can't, yeah, it's a Eastern promises,

1:13:36Kyle Brandt:Viggo Mortensen in the bathhouse. Jackass had a lot of nudities, but that's not the same. And then the Boogie Nights male nudity was fake at the end. I think it, I think it's apex for male nudity in a, in a non-porn movie.

1:13:48Bill Simmons:Interesting.

1:13:49Kyle Brandt:I'm trying to think of a better one. I, unless it's, unless it's just Jason Siegel just standing there with his big penis.

1:13:54Bill Simmons:Trying to think what else I didn't prep. And thank God I didn't. Cause then my Google search should be. You were doing the capital X, lower X, whatever the hell that girl was. I'm already getting in trouble for Stoney. My research on his 2001 KVN. Cruise or Hanks?

1:14:13Bill Simmons:I think Hanks probably has a better chance of pulling out Borat, but I think Cruise's would be funnier.

1:14:18Kyle Brandt:What if he was in the Les Grossman fat suit as Azamard?

1:14:22Bill Simmons:He probably could have done that.

1:14:24Kyle Brandt:I think to be Cruise, you would have to take some of that Frank T.J. Mackey's sexual energy. And you'd be like, respect the cock, high five! And then he does this dumb accent from far and away. It would take a lot of work to get Cruz there. And Hanks kind of has the hair and the mustache and the suit.

1:14:41Bill Simmons:Yeah, he's basically doing the kid from Big with an accent. Scorsese or Spielberg? What do you think, bud? Tough one. I'm going to probably say Scorsese for this one.

1:14:54Kyle Brandt:Yeah. And you would get to see Borat on cocaine, which I'm always into. And they could have done it in Vegas.

1:15:03Bill Simmons:Picket Nets. Who was the cameraman the whole time? At one point, the cameraman gets nailed in the naked fight.

1:15:12Kyle Brandt:He takes Basimad and runs the camera guy into him. So somebody's holding the camera. Who was it? I don't know.

1:15:19Bill Simmons:The time I'm on the road trip, we're in D.C. we go to miss mississippi for the channel 16 thing and then we go backwards to virginia for the rodeo it's out of sequence it should have gone dc virginia mississippi remember also when

1:15:36Kyle Brandt:they leave at kazakhstan they do the indiana jones map thing and they do like six loops throughout europe yeah i'm not sure their navigation is pristine yeah that's a good point and then i

1:15:45Bill Simmons:think the bear is kind of ridiculous that would be my one it's not a week but it just does it's just weird.

1:15:50Kyle Brandt:I don't care about the bear. They got a big laugh in the theater when he yelled, when the bear growls at the kids and they scream. Yeah. I'm just here for awkward moments with, with Bora. I don't care about the bear and the ice cream truck that much. They had to make a movie. I get it, but that's not my favorite part.

1:16:04Bill Simmons:Any other picking nets?

1:16:05Kyle Brandt:I just said, don't these handlers have any kind of better awareness that they're being like absolutely hoodwinked when they agree to have Alan keys sit down for an interview or any of those people, like those are major politicians you probably got to go through it and i know that they're really slick with how they pitch it and they have fake production companies and stuff but like at one point when you're sitting with alan keys and you talk about like a rubber fist going up your anus from like at what point was like holy shit stop this how does it get to that yeah i

1:16:35Bill Simmons:mean that's probably what happens we just and are they so mad like is alan keys fucking firing

1:16:39Kyle Brandt:somebody about that probably yeah i'd be mad so sequel prequel prestige tv all black cast are

1:16:46Bill Simmons:untouchable they did a sequel so we have our answer for that okay yes is this movie better with wayne jenkins fergie the florist zane low robert evans or somebody else what do you think

1:16:59Kyle Brandt:you know what i'd really like to do i'd like to take the guy at the church the let that tongue go guy who puts the hands and i'd like him to just do a rundown on all the the rewatchables hosts and just get the shit out of them and just say sean fantasy do you really need all that physical media bullshit. Let that tongue go. Do you really need K-19, the Widowmaker, and 4K? Craig Horbeck, do you not need a four hour version of The Dark Knight? Let that tongue go. Bill Simmons, you watch Lord of the Rings every Christmas. Tongo. That's what I want.

1:17:32Bill Simmons:We gotta add that guy to the list with Zayden and everybody. What was that guy saying?

1:17:36Kyle Brandt:Let that tongue go guy. I don't know what his name is. Let that tongue go guy from Borat. Van Lathan, do you really not attracted to white women? Let that tongue go. La la la la la la la la la la la. That guy steals the show. I want him to do all of you.

1:17:47Bill Simmons:That sounds great. I actually had one for this. What do you got? I mean, this is really going to appeal to all of your bones. Oh, let's go. What if Naked Borat and Naked Asimov crashed the 1993 International Association of Cardiologists Conference in Chicago? Let's go. As Dr. Charles Nichols was speaking. and Dr. Charles Nichols said ladies and gentlemen my friend Borat Sagadov doesn't feel well we just kind of work that in

1:18:21Kyle Brandt:and he goes I'm sorry Azambath I'm in the middle of this speech oh my gosh did you kill my wife too?

1:18:31Bill Simmons:you falsified the research so you could give them

1:18:37Kyle Brandt:You're like, I'm pro-vastic. You switch to the samples. Very nice. Wa-wa-we-wa. Oh my God, that's awesome. Yeah, thank you. I remember when you guys, a couple of years ago, you guys did Fugitive in Chicago and you had invited me to attend it. I was so excited. You couldn't do it. I couldn't. My whole thing is I'm like, Bill, I just want to walk in from the back of the audience at the end of the pod and just do a full Kimball and walk up on stage and just do the whole thing about, did you kill Shay Serrano too, huh? Did you? And I just couldn't get there in time. Fuck. But that is a great inclusion of Dr.

1:19:11Kyle Brandt:Charles Nichols. God, that's awesome.

1:19:13Bill Simmons:Just one Oscar who gets it. Screenplay? Or would you go Sacha Baron Cohen? No, fucking Sacha Baron Cohen. Best lead actor. Fuck it. Let's do it. Unanswerable questions. We actually did the ones I had for this about whether it was Sacha Baron Cohen's poop in a bag. Did you have any other ones?

1:19:30Kyle Brandt:I did Azamat Wash's ball sack before the fight scene. I already asked it.

1:19:35Bill Simmons:let's ask Ken Davidian right now Ken? Ken! The secret handshake club memorabilia you'd want from this movie what do you got?

1:19:44Kyle Brandt:I was going to say the mankini and I know that I used to go to the beach in Santa Monica after this movie came out and there'd be guys wearing that thing just for laughs but now since we've been through the pod I want the Polaroid of his son Huey Lewis and I want the one holding him up with his big old penis down there and I just want to keep it in my desk

1:20:00Bill Simmons:I think I would want the Baywatch book oh yeah the actual bay watch book that he had that it with like the little towel that he had

1:20:08Kyle Brandt:over to make it seem like it was the quran yeah um i would i would want that whole package with a red water panties that's a great book i like it coach finstock mr miyagi award for best

1:20:19Bill Simmons:worst life lesson it's got to be that frat kid right what does he say don't let a woman define you yeah don't do not let a woman ever ever make you who you are yeah i'm gonna go i have written down i like you i like sex it's nice that's all i got best double feature choice i have best in show and then borat in that order i go christopher guest first then i go borat i think that's how it it would have to go.

1:20:50Kyle Brandt:I got Bruno. We haven't talked a lot about the Bruno movie. Really liked it. Some amazing scenes. At one point, Bruno visits like a psychic medium and he makes his Bruno's ex-boyfriend who died appear. And then Bruno does a full fellatio sequence with finish. Like it's really, really graphic. And you're screaming again in the theater. I watched Bruno, which I thought it was not as good as Borat, but it was still funny.

1:21:13Bill Simmons:Who won the movie? Sasha Baron Cohen.

1:21:15Kyle Brandt:Sasha.

1:21:16Bill Simmons:well that was easy Borat so easy by the way we did this probably in almost exactly the amount of time of the movie yeah

1:21:24Kyle Brandt:and we have no Craig right

1:21:25Bill Simmons:no Craig alright Kyle Brent what do you got going on as we head into the summer here

1:21:29Kyle Brandt:oh well I made my maiden voyage to Bristol Connecticut last night Bill I'd never been there before but I did these these scheduled release I went to Bristol and it's by the way it's bullshit there's no mascots in the hallway there's no nobody saying follow me to freedom there's none of that shit I thought there was going to be like, this is SportsCenter. It's not like that at all. There's no Peyton giving Eli wet willies. Charlie Steiner wasn't to be seen. But I'm now squarely in the ESPN NFL Network world. It's really fun.

1:21:58Bill Simmons:They got some games, right? NFL Network got a couple.

1:22:00Kyle Brandt:They kept a couple. ESPN has a Super Bowl this year. I'm doing all kinds of crazy shit, man. I'm running into people I've watched my whole life. Joe Buck and everybody on the daytime schedule. It's been awesome. I really mean this. This sounds like I'm doing... Everyone has been really nice, Phil. Everyone has been really nice. To which you say what? Just wait?

1:22:21Bill Simmons:No, I wouldn't say that. Good, good.

1:22:25Kyle Brandt:Everyone's been very nice.

1:22:26Bill Simmons:I'm glad. They have. The setup's great. Your earpiece only fell out 10 times, but now it's locked in.

1:22:31Kyle Brandt:I showed that earpiece to his boss. I figured it out like 20 minutes in. The setup is good. We got Tony Kukoc. How do you beat that?

1:22:38Bill Simmons:He looks great. All right. Thanks to Craig. Thanks to Kyle. Thanks to Eduardo. Thanks to Kyle Brandt. Great to see you. I will see you next month because I know we're going to do something for next month's From Hell Month.

1:22:49Kyle Brandt:Let's go.

1:22:50Bill Simmons:We got some ideas. There's a couple of your favorites. All right. Good to see you, Kabra. Thank you. Thank you.