‘Fargo’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt

12:53Chris Ryan:And there's this prescient, the title card at the beginning of like everything here is true except for the names which we changed to spare them. But it's like... Yeah, they made that up. They made that up. And like people have gone through like old newspapers to try and figure out what case this is about. And then like they've kind of let it linger. They are tricksters in that way. Like they'll play around with the audience expectations.

13:14Bill Simmons:A couple other things. somebody making a plan and you can't make a plan because it's the old saying about man makes a plan, God laughs they find humor in everything which I think, one of the things that I think has been ripped off from this movie and I don't know if it's fair to say ripped off, but maybe influenced but I think of a show like Barry or I even think of The Sopranos when they lost the Russian in the woods, you can just see the Fargo DNA all over the place

13:44Kyle Brandt:by Steve Buscemi. Yeah, and I don't know

13:46Bill Simmons:if I fully realized that for a few years, but when we had Hater on that time, when we did No Country, and he was talking about how basically he wanted to do Barry because of the Coen brothers.

13:56Chris Ryan:I think that they especially shoot violence in a way that's, to me, it's almost unique. I'm sure there are other examples, but it basically confronts the viewer with both the high comedy and deep trauma of violence. So you take, we'll get to it, but the highway scene, the state trooper scene, which is kind of funny. Yeah. And it's kind of funny watching him drive like a Keystone cop after the guy and stuff like that. But it's also so sad and scary.

14:25Kyle Brandt:Another hilariously funny part is the payoff of the ticket gate agent where he comes into the second one. Can I have your ticket? He just blows the guy's head off. That's a horrible thing. And it's so fucking funny. Yeah. That's why like, I have really vivid memories of seeing in the theater because it was so unique. And I just remember sitting there being like, I don't know any of these actors. I knew Buscemi because I was into Tarantino at the time, but never seen Macy before. I didn't know them. And I remember people laughing so hard at different parts of the movie that were supposed to be funny and weren't supposed to be.

14:57Kyle Brandt:I just left as a 15-year-old or whatever I was just feeling totally unwieldy. Yeah, I don't get it, but it was awesome. What was that? What genre was it? But I'm seeing it again tomorrow.

15:05Bill Simmons:You know what? So the opening credits, like CR was talking about how when they usually make movies like this, they're set in these cool locations and it's big, fancy, lavish, whatever. And they do that in the beginning and it's just basically a truck that's towing something

15:22Chris Ryan:coming out of a blizzard.

15:24Bill Simmons:It's the most mundane thing you could possibly see on a highway in Minnesota. But the way they shoot it, you think it's going to be this awesome, dramatic thing. But it's also... It's like, oh, that's a car.

15:32Chris Ryan:The music is gorgeous. Yeah, it's amazing. It's the moment Jerry can't come back now. Like, he's given them the car. Now it's too late to do it. Once you set something in motion, you can't pull it back and he tries to pull it back multiple times and it doesn't work

15:46Kyle Brandt:I mean I have that for Great Jack Gordo the first shot of the whole fucking movie like how perfect is that

15:50Bill Simmons:with the music the combo of everything yeah oh go ahead well the only other thing I had was about how you could have the best plan ever but bad luck I think the coin flip they really tied that into the most you just never know like Anton Chigurh kind of nailed everything he's throwing a no hitter down the stretch and then just gets hit by a car and that's it yeah for no fucking reason Oh, his bones sticking out of his arm, and he just fucked up.

16:15Chris Ryan:They, when they make this movie, they're at the end of probably, or they're sort of right at the end of one of my favorite runs in cinema history. They open first movies, Blood Simple. Then they do Raising Arizona, Miller's Crossing, which is probably... Is that your favorite? It's top two with Wadowski. Yeah. Barton Fink, Hudsucker Proxy. Hudsucker Proxy, kind of a disappointment commercially because they had Newman in it, supposed to be this big movie. So they're like, oh, what are they going to... And they go and make this movie for$6 million. It's an Oscar winner. It's a pretty big success relative to its budget.

16:53Chris Ryan:And then after that, it's Lebowski and O 'Brother. And it's like one of the great runs for directors, I think, in movies.

17:01Bill Simmons:I was a slow burn with Fargo. I think it's a classic rewatchables example of... I liked it, but then it was a jump in to... you know, and oh, oh, oh, oh, all right. And then all of a sudden I was like, I get this movie. It took me, sometimes the movies don't sit perfectly in your brain for a while. And this one, No Country was the other one for me that I just never liked the ending. That took a while? No, I never liked the ending initially.

17:27Kyle Brandt:Oh, I didn't either. I still don't.

17:28Bill Simmons:And then as I got older, I was like, I fucking love the ending, man. Tommy Lee Jones, like he just, he doesn't want to be out there anymore. Yeah.

17:36Kyle Brandt:I feel like we deserve to see Llewellyn's death as it transpires. We spent two hours with the guy. I like the guy. I want to see how it happens. It's a tough thing.

17:44Chris Ryan:It's like the way it is in the book and the way they shoot it. If we ever re-country, I'd love to do it. The Coneheads want to go to war for it.

17:52Kyle Brandt:They don't like people disparaging the ending of No Country. I love the movie. I wanted to see Llewellyn and how it happened. I don't like that they took that from us.

17:59Bill Simmons:What's the type of movie that they did to make that you always wish they could have made? They made almost everything. Would you want to see their version of Roadhouse?

18:10Kyle Brandt:they're going to stand on the shoulders of rowdy harrington

18:13Bill Simmons:their take on the double deuce yeah i would like to see that

18:17Kyle Brandt:yeah i think i would like to see that i would like cash no i don't it really feels like they

18:22Bill Simmons:explored the studio space with all the things i ever saw in the theater with my wife ever we

18:26Kyle Brandt:were just starting to date he was burned after reading and um like it blew both of our fucking minds like we didn't know what we were watching like really really weird stuff and there's a sex machine in that movie. Brooke could hang with it. My wife, she was like, I thought that was funny. I was like, I'll marry you. I feel like the Coen brothers helped us out with that.

18:43Bill Simmons:One thing they're good at that is underrated is sex and violence is so mundane in their movies. Where even in this one, they cut there. It's just like that escorts riding Buscemi the second time. What did she say to him? I hear bells. There he is.

19:01Kyle Brandt:She's like Angelo Dundee in the corner. Come on now. Throw the jab, throw the jab, and he's loving it.

19:07Chris Ryan:I have quite a bit for Buscemi and What's Age the Best. It's almost a special Steve

19:10Bill Simmons:Buscemi category for me. Great. So, Joel Cohn said about the William Macy character. I hear bells. What is that? I didn't know what sort of... There was some sort of role-playing going on. I watched it on the plane today with the subtitles on.

19:26Kyle Brandt:I learned a lot of things I never knew before.

19:28Bill Simmons:Role-playing between the escort from the Hosea. The dialogue that made me think there was some extra... We get to it. That's very funny. I didn't actually ever think it was...

19:37Kyle Brandt:She's really in character doing something.

19:40Bill Simmons:So Joel Cohen said about the William Mesa character, they found interesting his absolute incapacity for even one minute to project himself into the future so that he might evaluate the consequences of the decisions he's made. There's something fascinating about his total inability to gain any perspective. He's one of those people who build a pyramid but never think for a minute about it crumbling. And this is every true crime documentary. These people who are just like, no, I'm one move away from, and then I can get away with this. And they're just making it worse.

20:10Chris Ryan:I don't know if there's like a sort of super pathology that encompasses being addicted to something or being in incredible debt. But the way that every single thing is just like, I have to fucking put a bandaid on the gaping wound that I have so that I can then put my hand back here to stop bleeding over here. And it's like the things that he doesn't care about at all are his wife and son. It's just the inversion of a real person. I know. Where he's just like, it's so incredible. And the fact that through all of that, he's still kind of selling cars. Definitely. He's a moving product.

20:44Kyle Brandt:It's amazing. He's the executive sales manager.

20:48Bill Simmons:Jerry Lundegaard. Hadn't totally happened for our guy, Bill Macy, yet.

20:52Kyle Brandt:No. Career-wise.

20:54Bill Simmons:He had Manit stuff, right? He tried out for a lesser role. I think he tried out as the cop who gets shot.

21:00Kyle Brandt:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

21:01Bill Simmons:I think he's a detective in it. Or something. he was at Mr. Holland's Opus the year before. He goes on this run of Fargo, Air Force One, and Boogie Nights all in a row. And by Boogie Nights, it's like, I love this guy. Yeah. And it's somewhere in here that he becomes Bill Macy. And then when you just see him, you knew it would be a good thing. But I don't think it 100 % existed yet. When did Sports Night?

21:24Chris Ryan:When did Sports Night?

21:25Bill Simmons:Was it late 90s?

21:26Chris Ryan:Because I always remember his end of Sports Night. He was married to Felicity Huffman. Yeah, he does like a two episode or three episode arc that's like, I'm going to save Sports Night from the network or something like that. Favorite Bill Macy ever, or do you have something else?

21:40Kyle Brandt:No, I mean, again, I just remember being in the theater being like, who the fuck is this person? He's like, this is the best acting I've ever seen in my life. And then afterwards, you know, he starts showing up with Harrison Ford in Air Force One. He's in Boogie Nights, my favorite movie of all time. My favorite part about Bill Macy in Boogie Nights is there's one part where Jerry Lunderhead kind of comes out and it's when he's down the driveway and he's like, My fucking wife has an ascender cock in the driveway. I'm sorry if my mind is not on the film machine. Okay. And he goes that like, okay.

22:09Kyle Brandt:It sounds just like Jerry Lindergard. I was like, oh, that's Jerry. He came out. It kills me.

22:14Bill Simmons:Are you giving me shit, Kurt?

22:16Kyle Brandt:No, no, not at all. Not at all.

22:18Bill Simmons:It's just the cinematography of the film. That's my favorite, Macy. What's your favorite, Macy?

22:22Chris Ryan:Bill Bill. Yeah, Little Bill's my favorite. I would just say that Macy doing Mamet is my favorite. So whether it's Homicide or Spartan, I just think he's one of the best deliverers of that dialogue.

22:35Bill Simmons:It's a nice little small parent part in Searcher for Bobby Fischer. Something about his face, it's a one-of-a-kind. It's funny because Buscemi's in this too, where it's just like these distinct faces that you can't compare to anybody else who's ever lived. Buscemi. So I really thought about this. He's not that guy anymore by 96. He graduated because Reservoir Dogs, Mr. Pink, I think he's he's not a that guy anymore after that but he does have this run of Fargo, Escape from New York Con Air and Lebowski somewhere in there he's just Steve Buscemi

23:09Chris Ryan:Escape from Los Angeles

23:12Kyle Brandt:After 94 my whole world was Tarantino and so I would just watch Reservoir Dogs over and over and over so when you see this movie and he's doing like Mr. Pink adjacent where he's got a gun he's fucking bleeding, he's mad, he's pissed off What the fuck is wrong with you imbeciles? He's just so fucking mad and I remember just telling my friends, I'm like, it's like Mr. Pink is back. He's so cool. I love it. I could watch Buscemi for an hour just screaming at that fucking TV. Just plug me into the ozone, baby. Fucking shitbox. Just over and over. I just love it. I can't get enough.

23:42Chris Ryan:It's like you can watch this movie and it's like Macy, Buscemi, and McDormand could all be the lead character. Yeah, they're the big three. And I found myself just thinking everything Buscemi did in this movie was the funniest thing I had ever seen in my life. and the best, like he blew me away this last viewing. McDormand obviously like basically like this is a career maker for her and she becomes like a pretty significant star after this. Hall of Famer. Yeah, but like this is like this time around for some reason I was like mesmerized by Carl. I was like this is so great.

24:16Bill Simmons:You know what made sense when I read this in the research that I'd never known before that they wrote this for Buscemi. When you hear stuff like that and usually some of the best work is when the director, writer, person is like i have this person in my head every line i'm writing is for buscemi uh my favorite for him is still the sopranos oh yeah his whole run that he had where he he just was in full command of of he was full buscemi at that point but i think this is his best movie which one i never

24:46Kyle Brandt:got into it i did yeah did you like it yeah i did we bailed after like three seasons yeah like it's

24:51Chris Ryan:pretty great in retrospect because like if i was thinking about if boardwalk was on now it'd probably be like a top three show they should just release it and pretend it just came out that's the thing is that like when these things pop up whether it's like on other streaming services or whatever like they'll get revival and i'm like damn this is like really really good that was

25:08Kyle Brandt:heyday hbl sunday nights like you couldn't miss it i watched like three seasons the greatest thing about his character tony b in the sopranos was like he was really the only guy who would stand up to tony yeah tony and he he has this infamous scene where tony's like browbeaten him he's like you're crowding me like you're crowding me scene like back the fuck off and that's why he was so cool. And then he just completely comes unhinged. Great character.

25:28Bill Simmons:Van and I have talked about this. I still think that's the best stretch of The Sopranos that season. I just rewatched. Everyone is peak of their powers and they've just figured out the show. But it's still in mid-flight. They know exactly what to bring him in. It's just great stuff. And then McDormand who's won three Oscars, all best actress, and an Emmy, and a Tony. Which she won an Emmy for. I forget. I don't know. It's my research. And a Tony. And she's won three best actor Oscars. The only other person who knew that is DDL. Best research I could find for her is she once lived in an apartment with the Coen brothers, Sam Raimi, and Holly Hunter.

26:06Bill Simmons:That's great. And somebody named Scott Spiegel, who's probably like, yeah, fuck. Scott Spiegel? Scott Spiegel's like, I don't know what happened. Where's my Oscar? Because Holly Hunter won for broadcast news on the piano. She won five Oscars in the apartment, not to mention that's a great blunt rotation too but um it's funny my favorite for her is still almost famous but she did not even mcdormand and she didn't even yeah for mcdormand this is what's your favorite

26:33Kyle Brandt:all my favorites are coming up fargo like this is my favorite buscemi even more than reservoir dogs or anything wow i just think it's is it your favorite stormer see that's that's a great question because i mean i have a feeling a direction you might be going on that one bill so I'm just going to let him I'm an open book people know there's a character named Dino Belvin yeah people know where I'm going to land so it just starts going like this yeah as great as as Stormare is in this movie he's not directing snuff films but yeah I mean it's my favorite all of that stuff

27:07Bill Simmons:Stormare is like what could be worse than the guy played in Fargo what about a snuff film director I guess that could take it up a notch the film is real but then they're still like we'll put him in Armageddon he seems like as a cosmonaut so Frances McDormand long career was married to Joel yeah and her three Oscars are not like major it's weird it's a weird

27:30Kyle Brandt:she got three billboards three billboards and then North Country

27:33Bill Simmons:Nomadland right or Nomadland yeah yeah she got nominated yeah Nomadland yeah so it's not like she doesn't have her I don't know like your big market movie they're all this is probably the biggest one I think that

27:47Chris Ryan:yeah she's this made 60 million she's got like meryl streep performances but she never does like a devil wears product like there's not a movie there's not a mystic river almost famous probably the

27:59Kyle Brandt:closest she doesn't do mama mia you know what's interesting about her too i was mcdormand she's had huge gaps like she took a like a seven-year gap yeah not long after this i looked it up and it coincides with when they decide to adopt a child so like she's just i don't think she's

28:12Chris Ryan:done a movie since no man i mean i think she's doing the next yeah or maybe mcbeth with denzel Washington. Then she has the next Joel Cohen. It's a waiting project.

28:20Bill Simmons:She's on that rare list of actor where it's like they have something out and they're like, you have my attention. Yes. Which I think is probably a list of less than 10 people. It's DEL-ish. It's Streep. Streep's still on there for me. I think Hanks is not on there anymore.

28:36Kyle Brandt:Hanks was off. I think Hanks is off.

28:39Bill Simmons:Cruise is off.

28:40Chris Ryan:Jeffrey Donovan who played Bottles in Shot Caller. Yeah, Shot Caller.

28:46Bill Simmons:ever the whole cast of Shotgun. I watched Shotgun last night. I was texting CR. It's just, it might be my favorite movie of the last 10 years. Did Limitless come out in the last 10 years? I can't remember.

28:59Kyle Brandt:Oh, by the way, McDormand also, Primal Fear, like in the fucking room. Incredible in Primal Fear. She's with the video camera, like just getting it, showing the stakes. I think she's great in that movie.

29:08Chris Ryan:She's also amazing in the Coen Brothers' first movie,

29:10Bill Simmons:in Blood Simple. Yeah. So this movie, she's pregnant. There's an innocence to her. Yeah. there's some great some of the best face acting even she does some really good stuff in the scene with her high school guy Michael after he puts his arm around and then she makes him go back and then she has that look on her face like this is going to go for another hour now and I just want to set myself on fire and she's kind of that frozen smile everything she's doing is amazing I always like you so much

29:44Kyle Brandt:just down him and it's so Mike should we do this no time no I'm just down again yeah like it's she's awesome in that scene yeah and then we have storm our um storm air storm I actually I got him in it's

29:59Bill Simmons:it's to bansa to bansa can we give him the um Sean Penn I brought my own pack award for excellent

30:04Kyle Brandt:screen smoking I just want to hear you guys talk about him smoking all right this is the move that

30:09Chris Ryan:he does that is so hard to do there's levels right going and when you get introduced to smoking it starts and it's like you're at a bar and you're like i smoke when i drink and then you start smoking maybe you take start taking smoke breaks you smoke with coffee you go outside you get a

30:22Bill Simmons:break from work it goes up another level this is a move when you start using these two fingers instead of this that's like a graduation but when it goes up another level is when you either

30:31Chris Ryan:have a roommate or a partner who's like we can smoke inside then it's a new world the final level is when you smoke inside of a car with the windows rolled up unbelievable that's when you've given up you are like I'm just gonna be a full tumor I don't care we're never gonna let this smoke out only an elevator can top it exactly and it's like Peter Storm are in this movie and Dustin Hoffman and all the president's men are the two guys who are like I will smoke in the Pope's face in a closed locker

31:02Bill Simmons:somewhere

31:02Chris Ryan:I don't care well he's doing something

31:04Bill Simmons:with the you don't see it often with the lit cigarette where only the tail end is in his mouth it's right at the bottom it's hanging out it always seems like it's gonna fall over and it's not and it's just he's not even really smoking it. And the smoke's just going into his eyes. He cups it. And the all time... And then it goes through the nose every time.

31:21Chris Ryan:Is when he flicks it out the window when he's going after the two witnesses. And he's just like, boom. And you're like, oh man. No shit. That's such a great little gesture. It's a great...

31:30Kyle Brandt:Can I say something as a smoking prude? Like I just... The double nostril blow is always really cool to me. Like that's like a reverse dunk or something. I was just watching one battle after another and Leo's doing them constantly down on the table.

31:42Chris Ryan:it's the De Niro Goodfellas slow-mo shot it's like he just blows it out like a dragon it's amazing

31:47Kyle Brandt:if I start smoking I'm gonna do a lot of those I've always thought that was cool since I was a kid it's never too late

31:51Chris Ryan:Kyle definitely not

31:53Kyle Brandt:let's do it after the pod

31:54Bill Simmons:I still got time Stormare he actually uses it it's almost like a lollipop he's like Kojak yes just kind of dangling from his mouth at all times it's amazing as I said I love him and Dino Velvo but IMDB credits okay If I gave you Stormare, Stormare, Stormare, Buscemi, Macy, who do you think is one, two, three for most acting credits? Most? Stormare, number one.

32:22Kyle Brandt:I think Stormare has done a shitload of voiceover. And if we consider that acting, I would say that. But otherwise, I'll say Macy has the most.

32:30Chris Ryan:Well, Macy, I feel like, did like 10 years of Shameless.

32:33Bill Simmons:Give me some numbers. Give me your one, two, three.

32:37Chris Ryan:I think Stormare is like showing up in like prestige TV shows for like two episodes still. Like, I mean... So he's three digits, though.

32:42Kyle Brandt:Give me a total number.

32:43Chris Ryan:80.

32:44Kyle Brandt:I'm going to say like 135 for Stormare.

32:47Bill Simmons:What do you have for Buscemi? 50. 70. How about Macy? 105. Final standings. Macy, 158. Wow. Holy shit.

32:59Kyle Brandt:Way to go, Bill.

33:00Bill Simmons:Buscemi, 199. Really? Wow. Stormare, 231.

33:05Kyle Brandt:Let's go. That's... I've never seen a sequel. Stormare's still like 231?

33:09Chris Ryan:Someone of Eastern European or Russian background to show up and be menacing for an episode. I'll do it. They were like, John Wick too. He's like, no more. There was an interview with Joel Kinnaman. I saw recently. Swedish too, right? He's like, the thing is, I bought a house in Malibu and now I got to pay for it. So I'm like, I'm available. And I was like, I wonder if that storm air. I wonder what his house is. He's like, I will do CSI.

33:36Bill Simmons:if it must. Well, I think when you're banging out, like Dino Velvet's like four scenes. So that you're probably in the set for like five days, six days. So you can basically go from...

33:47Chris Ryan:Sure. You can go from Dino Velvet right into...

33:49Kyle Brandt:Did you see in the research that Stormare has a band? Yeah. Blonde from Fargo. Yeah. That's what it's called. And I'm like, I listened to some Blonde from Fargo music on the plane and say, I had a quick...

34:00Chris Ryan:Metal? Hard rock? What is it?

34:02Kyle Brandt:Folk. Folky. He plays guitar and sings though. Like it's... Beautiful. I thought it was very, very, very cool.

34:07Bill Simmons:We're going to take a break and then we got to talk about Roger Dinkins. Great. Yeah. This episode is brought to you by Claude from Anthropic. You know that thing where you finish a movie and you immediately have to look up who directed it? What year it came out? How much money it made? Suddenly it's 1 a.m. Well, Claude is built for that kind of rabbit hole. Deep research featuring digs across dozens of sources. Pulls it all together. Cast connections, box office context, production history. so you're not bouncing between 10 tabs because that stinks. It thinks with you instead of just handing you a quick summary.

34:41Bill Simmons:Try it free at claude.ai slash rewatchables. This episode is brought to you by TaxAct. Like an expert coach, TaxAct offers step-by-step guidance and guaranteed accuracy when filing taxes. Get tips along the way, add expert assist to talk to tax experts and let our experts do your taxes for you with expert full service. Tax Act helps you find the deductions and credits you deserve so you can get them over with. Visit taxact.com to learn more. Conditions apply. See taxact.com for details. Roger Deakins, you're a guy, CR. He is. What's your rankings? You should release the power rankings like we do Ringer 100.

35:22Bill Simmons:Well, we did this on Big Cake a while ago.

35:24Chris Ryan:We did the Deakins Hall of Fame. I would say my favorite thing by him is probably still Assassination of Jesse James by a coward Robert Ford. just in terms of like his cinematography in that movie.

35:34Bill Simmons:So put him against Great Shot Gordo and everyone else. Is he in Mount Rushmore for you? Oh, he's definitely top five or six.

35:42Chris Ryan:Yeah, I think so. He's like Vittorio Storaro and Gordon Willis and yeah, William Fraker and Haskell Wexler. But like, yeah, he's incredible.

35:52Bill Simmons:Kyle, he used an Aeroflex 35BL4 camera for this in case you were keeping notes at home.

35:57Chris Ryan:Did Dino Velvet use a similar radar? I don't know if he did.

35:59Bill Simmons:one thing I noticed the second time I watched this by the way great 4k blu-ray sure awesome everything is white the whole movie and I don't know if they did this then they're geniuses but it all leads to the wood chipper where everything's red and it's like it's white white white white white and then boom wood chipper red everywhere it's almost like the shining elevator and I wonder like if they talk I don't know how much they put in on this

36:28Chris Ryan:difficult. First of all, Deacon's, the one day the sun came out when they were shooting, he was furious because he was like, this is breaking like... Is there a sunny scene? He probably masked it. Maybe at the dealership. It looks a little sunny because there's a lot of natural light in those scenes. They talked a lot about problems with shooting the horizon because the snow and the white sky was so much that you couldn't tell where the land was done and the sky began. But I think it actually contributes to the feeling like you're on another planet when you're watching it.

36:55Bill Simmons:Wide shots, wait. It's one of these movies that just in your brain you can see different scenes I don't even know how we do Great Jack Gordo for this movie

37:03Kyle Brandt:that's why my selection is just the opening shot because it's just a fucking whiteout and then a minute later Lunderguard drives right past your ear and it's it's like hitting a 40 foot 3 to start the game it's the first possession

37:14Chris Ryan:I have a couple of nominees for Gordo but the thing is is that like the shot as they like kind of push in or when they even first just like they didn't move the camera that much but the lighting and the way that you're introduced to Carl and Garrett at the bar was the king of clubs yeah You're just like, I know exactly where I am. I know exactly what kind of dudes these are. They have six beers. They've killed in an hour already. Let's go.

37:37Bill Simmons:I had this for later, but could you have lived in this part of the country? I'd be a raging alcoholic if I did. I got to say that bar, the King of Clubs, in my 20s, I would have been like, this is great. We're going here every night. They got three pool tables. Longnecks, jukebox. Escorts. Sounds awesome. Do you know what?

37:58Chris Ryan:Jacoby told me a really amazing story about going to a bar with Bill, I think in Charleston. Sometime during Grandland or a while ago. And like, I don't know if you used to bartend there or just used to go there, but you hadn't been there in like years. Yeah, it was in Faneuilhaw. And you walk, Bill walks in with Jacoby and the bartender just looks up at him and goes like, what'll it be, Billy? Awesome. After like years away. That's what you want. That was in Charleston, yeah.

38:25Kyle Brandt:Where everybody knows your name. Yeah. What was it that you wanted to?

38:29Bill Simmons:I mean, it explains a lot of my 20s.

38:34Bill Simmons:I think I could have made it maybe two years than the weather would have driven me nuts. Well, also, if it was back in the 80s,

38:42Kyle Brandt:there's not even any Timberwolves or anything. Oh, that's true. The Vikings teams weren't great. Pre-David Conn. Gophers are really important. Really important. Yeah, obviously.

38:50Bill Simmons:That guy didn't even have a ticket for Jerry.

38:54Kyle Brandt:You kidding? But what? He's insulted that he would even ask if he had an extra college hockey game.

38:59Bill Simmons:Two Oscar wins for McDormand in the screenplay. Big Shot Rodgers did not get an Oscar. Unbelievable. It was pretty good. Seven nominations, including the director. They did the thing where it was just Joel directing, even though both of them directed. And then I think at some point they just did so much good work. People were like, all right, fine. Who cares? You can be both of you. It works for them. they always have this editor named Rodbrick Janes that's them that's their name

39:29Kyle Brandt:that's their pseudonym oh yeah I think I read that so they have a little group name for themselves to edit

39:35Chris Ryan:yeah it's Soderbergh does this with Peter Andrews he shoots his movies so what would be your

39:41Bill Simmons:what would be your editor pseudonym but it would be like

39:46Kyle Brandt:mine would just be machine so they don't win

39:51Bill Simmons:for best directing and they don't win for best picture because english patient takes both and it's an interesting uh best picture because fargo jerry mcguire secrets and lies and shine english patient wins i don't know if english patients winning that one a second time it's a great movie but it was that was weinstein out i think yeah um you know what's funny about that

40:09Kyle Brandt:oscars i have a funny that's the 69th academy awards oh dustin hoffman i remember walks out and he goes to 69th Academy Awards. 69. And he looks down and he goes, Jack is smiling. And they go to Nick, he's got this big shit-eating grin on his face. I like a little 69 every once in a while. What a perv. Oh, my God. Different times. That was what they did. I remember at Bively, I was 18.

40:35Bill Simmons:Best actress, McDormand wins. Yeah. Beats Brenda Blethlin, Diane Keaton, Kristen Scott Thomas, and Emily Watson. That's a nice crew. Yeah. And then Macy loses for supporting to Cuba Gooding. Also, Ed Norton loses that year in Primal Fear.

40:55Kyle Brandt:I actually think this is the last year before they expanded to more nominees or the first year when it was like 10 Best Picture nominees. It was right on the edge.

41:04Chris Ryan:I thought that... It was still five. It was still five until 08 because they changed it for Dark Knight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, all right.

41:10Bill Simmons:Macy, I think, should have gone for Best Actor. AY for Best Supporting? I think that put him best supporting, but I think he should have been. And who did he lose to?

41:18Kyle Brandt:He lost to Cuba. Rod Tidwell. Yeah. Controversial.

41:21Bill Simmons:Do you feel good about that? I mean, Tidwell's great. I think he's incredible in that. Other people think it's a horrifying win and that we should redo it. The Cuba win? It's a polarizing win.

41:30Chris Ryan:It's also a testament. I think Macy in Fargo has stood the test of time. I mean, it's like he didn't get the statue, but I think a lot of people are. It would be an interesting redo because I don't think Macy loses 30 years later.

41:43Bill Simmons:would be my guess. We've been a significantly different acceptance speech.

41:45Kyle Brandt:But you also have the history of Macy

41:48Bill Simmons:in the last 30 years of work, too. So who knows?

41:50Kyle Brandt:That might have felt like, I don't know, Macy just showed up in movies. Like, we're going to hand it to him right now. Who knows? Kubrick put his time in a little bit.

41:56Bill Simmons:Tidwell was a really, I love the Tidwell character. And it's probably my single favorite

42:00Kyle Brandt:sports movie character. Is that the only one that McGuire won? I still support it. Yeah. Yeah. By the way, I believe that he was a professional wide receiver. Like, that's very hard to do.

42:08Bill Simmons:Plus, we got Kush right behind you.

42:10Kyle Brandt:Kush Slash. Wow, that's Kush right there.

42:12Bill Simmons:The SMU jersey. Cameron Crowe. That was his contribution to the studio. There's only three of them. Did Kush go to SMU? How the hell did that? I guess they paid him.

42:20Chris Ryan:I didn't know that.

42:21Bill Simmons:$7 million budget. Made 60.6.

42:23Chris Ryan:Where would Kush have gone in NIL? It was a great, great conversation. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

42:28Bill Simmons:Anything's available. Georgia, I guess. MSC. So, made$60.6 million. Released in VHS, Laser, DVD, Blu-ray, and 4K Blu-ray. The Fab Fives. Yeah. All five of them. inspired the TV series that CR mentioned. And then Siskel and Ebert together said best movie of 96. Bucking A. They

42:47Chris Ryan:they had the criteria orgasm when they reviewed this on their show. They were just like this is why we go to the movies. They did. They did a lot of like that.

42:55Kyle Brandt:I felt the same way. They're right.

42:56Bill Simmons:You can see Sean just lifting their shtick 30 years later. A lot of like movie celebration stuff. Sean's like these guys get me. Ebert four stars. It rotates its story through satire comedy. suspense and violence until it emerges as one of the best films I've ever seen. Films like Fargo are why I love the movies.

43:17Kyle Brandt:You mentioned the DVD and all that. They also had this really fucking cool thing. When I was a senior in high school, I worked at the movie store in the mall. I worked at Suncoast Motion Picture Company. And Fargo released this special version of the VHS where you would get a snow globe with a dead body in it. I remember that. And they turned that out. And it was like the hottest fucking item to get. And we had people lining up before the store would open and we have to like stock them and they would all be gone in 10 minutes. And I remember I got one and it was the coolest souvenir. It's like a bloody dead body.

43:47Kyle Brandt:Like the guy in the red coat. Do you still have it? I don't. That would be a good, uh, it's an awesome snow globe.

43:51Bill Simmons:That'd be good for the memorabilia thing later.

43:53Chris Ryan:Let's, let's see, throw your weight around out there on eBay. Well, one other thing with the releases, this would, this is a, what's age the worst for

44:00Bill Simmons:this movie that they did the, it's shot really wide. Yeah. And when it was on cable for years and years with the square TVs, the pain and scan, it It was really bad. It really hurt the movie from a rewatchability.

44:12Chris Ryan:The 4K of this is you feel like you're watching Lawrence of Arubia sometimes.

44:15Bill Simmons:You feel like you're in Minnesota. All right. Let's do the categories. Most rewatchable scene. We mentioned the opening credits. Jerry meets the kidnappers at King of Clubs, the most North Dakota dive bar possible. It seems amazing. Yeah. They encourage you to smoke inside of King of Clubs. I think you have to do it to stay warm. Excuse me, if you're not smoking, sir,

44:35Kyle Brandt:can you please leave? Excuse me, sir.

44:37Chris Ryan:you haven't smoked in an hour almost every scene that those guys are in there's like seven empty beer bottles like somewhere in the shot like even when they have Gene kidnapped like at the safe house there's like tons of dead soldiers I have a zag for this

44:54Kyle Brandt:I had it in my picking nits I think it's a little bit of a hacky way that directors show someone's drunk that there's like six empty I think any proud tavern someone clears those bottles I think it is a little transparent they do the same thing in Zodiac with those blue glasses when Downey and Gilly get fucked up someone comes and gets those glasses I think it is a little bit of a hacky way to show someone's junk you may be overestimating

45:17Chris Ryan:the staffing of the king of clubs

45:19Kyle Brandt:king of clubs might have one guy

45:21Chris Ryan:he's behind the bar and he cleans up once this is what I wanted in response

45:26Kyle Brandt:and the waitress was also an escort

45:28Bill Simmons:so she might have had to sleep for a half hour she's at the blue eyes the kidnapping scene I love she's knitting. She's watching some 80s game show. She's like watching Wake Up Minneapolis.

45:40Kyle Brandt:They're making holla dazzle eggs in the show.

45:42Chris Ryan:It's also the fucking funniest thing in this movie might be them being like, and we're doing a riverboat cruise of the Nile this year. So you guys got to sign up for that. I'm like, what? Can you fucking imagine going to Egypt based on a morning show being like, we're doing a group tour of the Nile. And like, it's such a perfect little throwaway bit.

46:01Kyle Brandt:I think the accommodations are on that trip. I don't know. Also, so much of this stuff,

46:05Chris Ryan:because they're from Minnesota, must be shit that happened to them or something they saw on TV.

46:09Bill Simmons:The other movie that jumped into this was Young Adult, which is a movie that is very popular in the Simmons house. Oh, yeah. It's a Jason Reitman movie. She goes back home for our high school reunion, but she's still in love with Patrick Wilson. But it really ties into this whole kind of Minnesota, how just weird everybody is there. Well, also so trusting.

46:31Kyle Brandt:The strangest part of the home break-in is that Carl comes up looking like he went to Spirit Halloween and got home intruder costume with a crowbar and she just stands there watching him for a long time until he breaks the glass and all shit breaks loose. She's like, I can't believe this is happening. What is she doing?

46:48Bill Simmons:The kidnapping scene. Her face is great. It's a really all of a sudden super... We're like, oh shit we're doing this. I mean this could be... What's our award for this? Dan Campbell. Dan Campbell. That was fourth and 19.

47:01Kyle Brandt:scene. The shower curtains is good. She's really good in that scene. She seems completely terrified.

47:07Bill Simmons:What kind of finder's fee are you looking for? We're not a bank, Jerry. One of my favorite... What a terrible plan, by the way.

47:14Kyle Brandt:What did you just think they were going to give him$750 ,000? The dynamic here where Jerry has set off this felony abduction of his wife and it's like, oh shit, I might get some money. I have to call it off. It's so clumsy and so stupid. It reminds me of when I lose something around the house. I'm like, ah, fuck. and I order on Amazon for 60 bucks, and then I find it, and I go to try to cancel the order on Amazon. I'm like, no, it's too late. It's already shipped. God damn it. Except it's the abduction of his wife. It's so sloppy and so idiotic that he does that. And then it messes that up on top of it.

47:44Kyle Brandt:I love that scene with Stan.

47:45Bill Simmons:I'm putting the three together of this scene. Him flipping out in the ice scraper is the next scene. Yes. And then him coming home and rehearsing the phone call in the kitchen. It's all in a row.

47:53Chris Ryan:I love how penetratingly cold it is is always in the background of this movie, the ice scraping. Yeah. She needs her car to get a jump from Norm when she first leaves the house.

48:03Kyle Brandt:That's Midwest Living. Yeah. I love the... Well, you just came from that. Just came from it. We're recording this right after the blizzard. Second one of the winter, two feet, all that shit. The first thing Jerry does when he enters King of Clubs is something he does like six times in this movie, where when he walks into a room, he goes like this. He passes speed a few times. I'm like, that's Midwest Living. The scrape off on the thing that is so relatable. Someone's gotten on the car and be like, God damn it. I have to scrape the fucking windshield. and then he has his crash out, which is just so well acted and so relatable.

48:31Kyle Brandt:I love it.

48:32Bill Simmons:The criminals killed a cop and two innocent bystanders. Yeah, this is big. Just keep it still, lady, or else we're going to have to, you know, shoot ya.

48:40Kyle Brandt:Laugh out loud in the theater. Hilarious.

48:43Chris Ryan:Really good unexpected murder followed by the, oh, daddy. Also, the Coens love a headshot. Yeah, that was a good headshot. This is like, it's always like, whoa, like, it really stops you in your tracks.

48:56Bill Simmons:Slight nitpick. I don't know. about shooting somebody from two feet away. Okay. But Marvin in Pulp Fiction, like his head basically explodes. Yes. Would your head explode from that close or would it just be the divot? I think it's enough happens to Carl

49:10Chris Ryan:over the course of the movie that I think like he eventually like, like he suffers from some like random shot, shots and stuff like that. Okay.

49:17Bill Simmons:Yeah. Marge, this is a quick one, but Marge interviewing the two escorts kills me. Oh my God. Go Bears. He's not circumcised.

49:26Kyle Brandt:Funny little fella. The running joke of Buscemi being funny looking in a way they can't describe, that reminds me of you said they wrote it for him. Like they're writing those lines about how funny looking he is.

49:36Chris Ryan:And you get that script, you're like, oh man, the Coen brothers wrote me a part. This is great. And everyone's just how weird I look.

49:41Bill Simmons:I was wondering how that would feel if you were reading that. You're like, oh fuck. Tough. They're like, we wrote this for you, Steve.

49:48Kyle Brandt:You're Carl. Even the prostitutes say how weird looking you are. Yeah, the whole movie.

49:52Chris Ryan:The great thing about the hooker scene is also, sorry, the escort scene or whatever. Yes. is Francis McDormand has talked about how it's just written that way in the script down to the, oh, yeah. Like, all the punctuation. It's like, so can you imagine those two brothers sitting there and then goes, and then the one hooker says this and the other hooker says that. And then Francis says this. It's so funny to imagine them coming up with this.

50:16Bill Simmons:We didn't, I meant to do this at the top, but we didn't talk about the accents and how that kind of shaped how this movie was consumed in 1996. Because it was kind of like an accents movie and in a way it seemed like it was going to work against McDormand and the Oscars.

50:31Chris Ryan:I actually had this for what was the most 1996 part of this movie is that it's not necessarily the last time but it is a time in America where different regions felt far away and culturally very different. And in the sense that like now you can be like, I could find out what the three best pizza places are in Minneapolis, St. Paul, like right now on Instagram and like watch people eat slices. You could go on the King of Clubs

51:00Bill Simmons:Instagram. I know. Be like, guys, it's smoking night. I know. Bring your own cigarettes. This felt like when you were like, is this what it's like here? Is this what Minnesota is like and what North Dakota is like? It's such an important point because I felt like in the 70s, 80s, and 90s, the only way I knew what anything was like was in TV or movies. I didn't know what San Diego was like. Not a chance. Or Denver. How would you know? Beverly Hills, right. You see a movie set in the Florida Keys

51:27Chris Ryan:and you're like, this might as well be set on Jupiter. This doesn't look like anything I've ever seen in my life.

51:32Bill Simmons:And then how cool the show or the movie was in the location shaped like to me, Miami was the coolest city we had just because of Miami Vice. You go to Miami? Oh, okay. I had Buscemi buried in the parking lot guy. I have Shep beating up Buscemi. Let's smoke a fucking peace pipe!

51:53Kyle Brandt:He has to get that in there, doesn't he? he's so proud with that line about the peace fight

51:57Bill Simmons:I have the father-in-law getting killed just because it's shocking, I got a real woe from my son no gene, no money

52:07Kyle Brandt:who the fuck are you the last couple scenes Buscemi has as an actor you can just hear the coincide, I'm like you're done you can't take anymore, I want you at a 10 out of 10 it's the phone call with Jerry after he gets beat up by Shep and then when he shows up and Wade gets out of that car it is a hundred out of a hundred Buscemi. I'm not fucking around anymore. Yes. He looks like, like a crazed dog. And it's that pure, perfect Buscemi. Fucking paper towel. I'm going to kill you. I'm going to shoot you. And he does. He's such a psychopath.

52:35Bill Simmons:And he can do it in any movie, including one of my favorites, which we're considering for From Helma, Domestic Disturbance. Oh, great. With Vince Vaughn and John Travolta. Great. Steve Buscemi plays, get this, the scumbag who comes into Vince Vaughn's life. Yeah. But he just, he can break it out whenever he wants. I only have a couple more. at the Eklund and Swedlands guy. So I'm tending bar there at Eklund and Swedlands last Tuesday. That whole speech. It's just, he just rips off a monologue

53:01Chris Ryan:in a monotone. And he's just like doing the ice and snow off of his driveway before more snow comes and hits it again. Yeah. And I say, what kind of action?

53:08Bill Simmons:And he says, woman action. What do I look like? And I say, what do I look like? I don't arrange that kind of thing.

53:13Kyle Brandt:Are you calling me a jerk? Last guy who called me a jerk is dead now and I know him from old age. I think this might be my favorite scene. It's a great scene. I fucking love this scene. So do I. And it's that weird, like, deputy in the SUV who has two scenes and then it's driveway guy. Yeah. Can I... I think this is as good a time as any because it relates to the accent. I wrote down the five most Fargo people in Fargo. Oh, yeah. Let's hear it. Like, just the accent, the everything. All right. At five, I have Jerry's manager at Gustafson Auto who's watching the Gophers game. You kidding? You named him already.

53:44Kyle Brandt:And number four, I have the female cashier at the diner. Oh, yeah. How was everything today? And Jerry's like, how are you doing? And she goes, Huge laugh in the theater. And number three, I got driveway guy going crazy out there at the lake guy who's just kind of just sweeping his wet driveway with the hood up and everything, going crazy out there at the lake. And number two, I have our girl, the blonde escort from went to White Bear High School, Go Bears. And then I think number one, we haven't mentioned him yet. I mean, Lou. Lou, the officer with Margie. All right, Margie. I mean, that guy is like a thousand on the scale.

54:18Kyle Brandt:He is by far huge laugh in the theater. Yes, that guy. Hey, Norm, how the panions going? Brought you some coffee. Yeah, that guy. You're all right. He's the one who thought the plate was DLR and then he was killed. It's that dealer. He's so stupid. I agree with you. Please work there, Lou. He's the most Fargo guy in Fargo. That's a good list. Yeah, thank you.

54:35Bill Simmons:I'm trying to think if I would add anyone, but I think you hit everybody. There's a lot of fun ones. I think you hit the basics. Marge goes to see Jerry a second time. We talked about the Mike scene already. The wood chipper scene into the drive, which was an all-time... it's axe to the head wood chipper well all of a sudden we hear the wood chipper in the back for a long time we have our pregnant hero who has not been in any danger at all at any point in this movie and just has a gun and she's creeping around and we know it's going to be bad and I'm prepared for anything at this point from Fargo the first time I see it like are they just going to shoot her in the stomach all the deaths

55:12Chris Ryan:are so abrupt in this movie and it just it gives you that sense of like kind of not the pointlessness but how fleeting and we're just like bags of meat out here and like anything can happen to you. We've followed Carl throughout this whole movie being like, oh, is he going to get away with it? Is he going to get this? And fuck, he just gets hit in the head with an ax

55:33Bill Simmons:and thrown on a wood chipper. That's what life does. And then I have the three cent stamp, which I really like as an ending. That's a cute ending. Yeah.

55:40Kyle Brandt:I think that the second scene, we only get two with Margie and Jerry is unbelievable acting by the both of them where Jerry does the, ma 'am, I answered your question. I'm cooperating here and she gets real pissed off you have no call to get snippy with me it's the only time Marge gets mad in the whole movie

56:00Chris Ryan:when he runs off and she's like he's fleeing the interview

56:04Kyle Brandt:kicking an outside line on the fucking phone that scene's amazing so you have Mike as your favorite scene Mike Yanagita scene is my favorite scene it's preempted by the Mike Yanagita phone call at 1045 once they establish who they are there's this guy and then he goes so how the heck are you when they walk in and they go for that hug and Mike goes oh you look great it's like oh mayday get the fuck out of there everything about that scene I'm going to talk about it later as well it makes me so happy

56:39Chris Ryan:I think just for filmmaking purposes it's the triple homicide in the highway because you're like oh they got pulled over I wonder how this is going to work out and you're like, that's not how I thought it was going to work out. That also features one of my favorite. There are two shots that basically talk to each other. It's the shot of the two witnesses driving by slowly and they're like... Yep. And then it also happens when Macy goes out of the parking garage and he goes past the attendant who's been killed. So I just find that the entire movie jumps up a notch. I think Stormare for most of the movie up to that

57:11Kyle Brandt:is just like comatose. And then he snaps. He's like, I'll kill three people for nothing. And it's that shot you talked about where finally he's driving, first time he's ever driving, and the flick, and he's driving with the gun, and you're like, he's Satan. He's going to kill them. It's terrifying.

57:24Chris Ryan:And then he's chasing them, and then the lights disappear. That's just great.

57:28Bill Simmons:It's so cool. I love this movie. I think that's the answer, but I think my favorite is still the guy's monologue. Yeah. The, uh... Yanagita. Yeah. He doesn't use the word jerk. He calls me a jerk. Oh, the guy on the... Yeah. Yeah. What's the most 1987 1987 or 1996 thing about this movie? You can go either. Movie set in 1987.

57:49Kyle Brandt:For 87, Scotty Lundegaard's got a white snake poster over his bed. And 87 is the year that that album came out. And here I go again. I mean, that's March of 87. I didn't even notice that.

58:02Bill Simmons:Oh, right over his bed. Holy shit. I didn't notice it either. I noticed the accordion poster. Well, we'll get to that. Right over his bed.

58:07Kyle Brandt:Is it Tawny Katane or is it just a white snake? No, I think it's like the album cover. Okay.

58:12Bill Simmons:But like that's the self-titled album. Four most important music video performances ever. Here I go again. On the car.

58:17Kyle Brandt:Yeah. That is 87. Yeah. And so, Scotty. That's great. That's 87. The 96 for me is just what we've already talked about, that you could just say this was a true story and everyone would just believe it because they can't research it. It's like they... Oh, good point. They Blair Witched us, kind of. Like, this is real. Just trust us. All right. And it's not.

58:35Chris Ryan:People are probably looking at microfiches trying to find... In the library? Yeah. Minneapolis Tribune. The only other one I had for 96 about this movie is a$6 million budget,$60 million box office. That's the dream. That's a huge win. A 10x return on a modestly budgeted movie that you have creative control over that winds up becoming...

58:56Bill Simmons:And Raj and Gene just hugging each other in the theater. That's really all you wanted.

58:59Chris Ryan:And us three Nimrods in a room 30 years later being like, yep, that's the best. Perfect movie, man. Perfect.

59:05Bill Simmons:I had no ring cameras because we just catch everyone immediately. Yeah, I thought about that a lot. I have faxing stuff. I have low-life criminals having sex in the same room in two double beds and then watching The Tonight Show. Yeah. All right, so Bill, I had this.

59:19Kyle Brandt:What would be the show now? I don't know, Fallon? I had this under picking this.

59:24Bill Simmons:Nobody wants to watch Jimmy Fallon after having sex. Would you and another guy. They're watching SBP. Oh, you're watching SBP. He's doing bad beats.

59:31Chris Ryan:I think Scott Van Pelt's going to interview Lamar after this game.

59:36Kyle Brandt:Shout out to Scott. Great job. Would you and another guy who you barely know Be in the same room and two queen beds At the same time It depends on how many times he's been to king of clubs

59:50Kyle Brandt:I've never I can't imagine Wouldn't you at least go out for burgers And then come take a turn Jesus Christ

59:56Bill Simmons:I've been in this situation Not all the way through But there's a moment when somebody's got to Get out of there Go to a different place taps out

1:00:07Kyle Brandt:it's also weird like you're both doing at the same time like inevitably one finishes is it a competition then you're going and they're stopping it's really

1:00:12Chris Ryan:Carl also is like watching Garrett it's really funny

1:00:15Bill Simmons:yeah well there's two different things one is would you want to be in the situation two is would you want to be in the situation with either of those two guys in the other double bed and the answer is a strong no it's so funny that

1:00:28Chris Ryan:they're like they're doing a ransom deal but they're also like we're keeping expenses low

1:00:34Kyle Brandt:two girls one room He doesn't want to pay the four bucks for that parking. How do you think they decided who had which girl? I found that a lot. They both had types. How does that work?

1:00:43Bill Simmons:Neither type was particularly a knockout, I would say. The most 1987 thing about this movie we did not mention yet. It's a Playboy in the bathroom reading rack. When she's in the bathroom, the wife, as she's getting kidnapped, they have a rack of magazines. He has a Playboy? Including Playboy magazine. Maybe it's just for the interviews. Magazine rack. Yeah. That goes against type. I don't see him as that. That was in 1987. It was realistic. Definitely. Scotty must have loved that, too. That's huge. What's age the best? We mentioned a couple of things already. I can do my run of Steve Buscemi here if you want.

1:01:19Chris Ryan:Oh, let's go. So what's age the best? Steve Buscemi, 90s scumbag. Test Tube the drug purity guy from King of New York Mink from Miller's Crossing Mr. Pink from Reservoir Dogs Mr. Shhh from Things to Do in Denver when You're Dead and Carl from Fargo just all in a row not in a row but just throughout that decade just played a fucking crazy scumbag who do you think was the scummiest

1:01:44Kyle Brandt:of all of them if you had like your number one I mean honestly

1:01:47Chris Ryan:probably this one

1:01:48Kyle Brandt:this guy's tough

1:01:48Chris Ryan:I would not want to spend a night with Test Tube from King of New York that's the that's the like go get me my Coca-Cola scene with Lawrence Fishburne remember that

1:01:58Kyle Brandt:anyway it's kind of pleasant like he's trying to make conversation about the road like he's a sort of human you know

1:02:02Chris Ryan:trying to do a podcast

1:02:03Bill Simmons:yeah

1:02:04Chris Ryan:for years yeah Steve Buscemi with a woman riding him on top is just really funny and it's just the best and the idea of Joel and Ethan being like what if this guy just really likes chicks on top that's so good just porn search he's never on top it's true and Steve Buscemi being described as little and funny looking by multiple characters. And then the crowning achievement is definitely Carl taking a hooker to a Jose Feliciano concert.

1:02:30Kyle Brandt:Oh, I love this scene.

1:02:31Chris Ryan:Jose Feliciano, got no complaints.

1:02:34Kyle Brandt:Fantastic.

1:02:34Chris Ryan:Telling her he's in town on business, but just a little of the old in and out.

1:02:41Chris Ryan:Before asking her if she's been to the celebrity room before and then he passes her if she finds being an escort interesting.

1:02:50Bill Simmons:what are you talking about and she has this look on her face the whole time that's intentional where she's just like oh my god they told her like can you make an uglier face no no make it uglier do one more time just get much uglier receive your chin into your neck the best thing is when he's just like waiter

1:03:07Kyle Brandt:the guy just fucking and she says she's never been there because it's nice she's been there with a client before

1:03:15Bill Simmons:we didn't mention the score which was great but in every scene they're in together. Marge and Norm are either lying in bed or eating. They have no other interactions. We don't even see them watching TV in the living room. It's just they're in bed or at a table.

1:03:30Chris Ryan:She's like at night. She's got the chips in between the two of them. Sleeping with food.

1:03:34Kyle Brandt:That's tough. The scene with them at that buffet. Jesus Christ. It's an incredible moment. They both are three plates deep. Now she's deeply pregnant.

1:03:45Bill Simmons:Big plates. Like plates you do in college when you have Neaton for 24 hours.

1:03:48Kyle Brandt:it's fucking lunch too

1:03:50Chris Ryan:this is the thing that I was thinking about there are two sides of this one is he brings her Arby's which I was trying to think of like the last time in my life that life worked in a way where my wife would bring me my lunch and we would hang out at my work at all and then the other side of it was just like the amount of calories you're hitting at noon and like what happens to your body Swedish meatballs alone is like 2500 calories so much chicken fricassee and like

1:04:17Kyle Brandt:that's a cream stew I actually had World War 3 dude I had all this written down that's gonna be

1:04:25Bill Simmons:a terrible afternoon cause obviously this is the big Kahuna burger winner for best use food to drink the buffet chicken and dumplings chicken fricassee fried tora and broiled tora Swedish meatballs that's the only five things there's more cause there's like potatoes she got a whole bowl of jello yeah there's all kinds of shit there's always room for jello it was like the fat buffet everything's high color is that fish

1:04:47Chris Ryan:the tort what are you talking about

1:04:49Bill Simmons:it's some sort of Minnesota fish that's really smelly yeah I saw it too okay

1:04:52Kyle Brandt:this led me I struggled a lot in this movie with good hang like I hard like who I would want to hang with yeah and I was like I think it might be Norm it's Norm by default

1:05:04Bill Simmons:but Norm's not necessarily a good hang I think good hang bad hang is pretty easy Norm we know bad hang

1:05:10Chris Ryan:Carl's the good hang Gareth's the bad hang I would love to take a road trip with Carl King of Clubs Get his thoughts on Montana. He knows where the escorts are?

1:05:19Kyle Brandt:Yeah, I guess so. There's a good side of him. I just had to find a hard time landing on Norm. It's too boring. And like, when I watch him eat that lunch,

1:05:27Bill Simmons:I'm like, Jesus Christ. He's a loving man. He only gets locked in one time when she says she's going to Minnesota and he's like, Minnesota? Oh, yeah? That's the only time he's even like leaning forward. A couple more would say she's the best. I like movies where there's the loser son-in-law with the wealthy father-in-law. This is great. and the guy's just shitting on him in all these different ways he hates Jerry and he's like at some point he's like well I don't want I don't want Gene and Scotty to worry and the guy's like Gene and Scotty never have to worry it's the coldest line in the movie it's just like such a great line he fucking just cuts his jugular

1:06:00Kyle Brandt:this could work out real good for me and Gene and Scotty and he just slashes his throat like you said he fucking hates Jerry and the scene in the diner where Jerry's trying to be like this is my deal wait no way you don't know like he oh my god he hates him

1:06:13Bill Simmons:I'm gonna do all this stuff to Zoe's husband if I don't like whoever she marries. I'm going to turn into this guy. Zoe's going to be fine.

1:06:19Kyle Brandt:Zoe and Ben will be fine. I had this unanswerable question. What is it like if you hate your son-in-law? It must be really bad. Pretty tough.

1:06:27Chris Ryan:The son-in-law would be pitching you on a player podcast that you had to do. He's like, no, this is my deal, okay?

1:06:34Kyle Brandt:This could work out real good for me and Zoe.

1:06:36Bill Simmons:Her cousin needs his own pod. People think players podcasts are done. They're coming back. The Minnesota snapshot we get here of the Paul Bunyan statue, the accent, college hockey, crap bars, motels, buffets, bar girls, kind of sort of escorts. True coat being really important for your car. God, that's a great scene.

1:06:58Kyle Brandt:It's just a really good slice of life. We didn't mention that scene. Yeah. See, that scene with that guy pissed about the true coat. I love it.

1:07:05Chris Ryan:I think it's Ethan Cohen says that is verbatim something that happened to him. Really? It's like coming down to be like, all right, we finally agreed on a price. And he's like, I fucking slipped the true coat charge on you right under the last second. And they get it in. Yeah, because he's like, I don't have my car anymore and now I'm down here in the middle of the winter. Give me the goddamn thing.

1:07:21Kyle Brandt:The guy in the scene so badly doesn't want to swear and he goes, you fucking liar. And he's like, the wife's like, all right, calm down, calm down. Jerry being like,

1:07:31Chris Ryan:I got to talk to my boss.

1:07:32Kyle Brandt:He says he can knock$100 off that true coat. And God, that seems great.

1:07:36Bill Simmons:I also have the accent stuff, which we talked about, but I think my favorite one is, you're darn tootin'. Yeah. Oh, it's fantastic.

1:07:43Chris Ryan:I don't know how you even write that. Where do you guys think, this is an unanswerable question, but just because of an accent, do you think Carl's supposed to be from Minnesota or is he from out of town?

1:07:51Kyle Brandt:All right, so he knows a lot about Minnesota, including where to get laid. He knows all about the glass ICS building. I think he's from the Midwest, not necessarily from Minneapolis. I think he's from the Midwest.

1:08:01Chris Ryan:Okay, because he's like, oh, daddy, when the guy gets shot in his lap. Yeah, that's a weird thing to say. It's a weird thing to say. He also seems pissed at Jerry and Wade and people to be like, you guys are so annoying. Like how nice you are. You think you're big time. What the heck do you mean?

1:08:17Kyle Brandt:Oh, it's so good.

1:08:18Bill Simmons:So you think it's possibly he's from like Sacramento?

1:08:20Chris Ryan:I don't think it's from California because he seems pretty used to the northern winds. But like I see him from being like Peoria or Juliet or something. Do you have any what's the best?

1:08:29Kyle Brandt:Of all the language things, I like ending a phone call with real good then and hanging up. That's how they say goodbye in the accent, including the best part is when Carl is saying, I'm going to shoot you and your wife and all your little fucking kids in the back of the fucking head. Be there. And Jerry goes, all right, real good then. And throws up. I love ending a phone call that way. Throwing the phone down like that.

1:08:48Bill Simmons:One more break and then we'll do the rest of the categories. I'm not an astronaut.

1:08:52Chris Ryan:I don't need an astronaut.

1:08:54Bill Simmons:Audiences have spoken.

1:08:56Kyle Brandt:Project Hail Mary is an awe-inspiring masterpiece.

1:09:00Chris Ryan:So I met an alien.

1:09:02Kyle Brandt:If you've fallen out of love with going to the movies, this one will bring you back. Hang on! Ryan Gosling in the first must-see movie of 2026. Project Hail Mary, rated PG-13, may be inappropriate for children under 13. Only in theaters March 20th.

1:09:21Bill Simmons:This episode is brought to you by Athletic Brewing Company.

1:09:25Chris Ryan:No matter how you do game day, on the couch, in the crowd, or manning the snack table, Athletic Brewing fits right in. With a full lineup of non-alcoholic beer styles, you can enjoy bold flavors all game long. No hangovers, no buzz, no subbing out for water in the second half. Stock the fridge for tip-off with a variety of non-alcoholic craft styles available at your local grocery store or online at athleticbrewing.com. Near beer, fit for all times. All right, great shot, Gordo. We did it. Got a couple. Paul Bunyan towering over the night sky. Scary. Looks a lot like Gare. The innocent couple driving by the state trooper's murder scene.

1:10:03Chris Ryan:Jerry going past the parking attendant. that sort of like them sort of going into danger that way is really great.

1:10:10Bill Simmons:I got opening scene. Yeah. Chess Rockwell, Brock Landers, where best character name would you go? Marge Gunderson or Jerry Lundegaard?

1:10:17Kyle Brandt:I would go Shep Proudfoot. Shep Proudfoot. Shep Proudfoot's great. And it's even great when the little deputy comes in, he goes, Shep Proudfoot. That's a name. Like they actually acknowledge how cool the name is. And when Marge says Mr. Proudfoot, it just sounds awesome. Yeah. I love it.

1:10:31Bill Simmons:What do you have for a flex category here? Oh, okay. I don't have the kid cutting because we didn't really have a needle drop. We did my,

1:10:38Chris Ryan:we did Sean Penn brought my own pack. I had the Rick Chachetti guard meet award for the most memorable death by a security guard or other bystander whom the movie treats is inconsequential, but we probably had a spouse and kids who love race for the state trooper who gets top of the headshot. Yeah.

1:10:51Bill Simmons:I mean, you could also go for the poor parking garage guy. Sure. There's a lot of like, or you could go for the two kids who were just driving by and just trying to get away. And they fucking flip their car.

1:11:01Chris Ryan:They could have just called this movie guard meet.

1:11:07Chris Ryan:otherwise it's Sean Penn I brought my own PAC award for Stormare

1:11:10Kyle Brandt:the state trooper is a great trooper too

1:11:12Bill Simmons:he picks up on the bullshit he sees the tags

1:11:14Chris Ryan:here's the movement in the back

1:11:16Bill Simmons:he shows the driver's license and only shows his picture he's trying to pay him off I mean he's got the 50 hanging out

1:11:22Kyle Brandt:about the top

1:11:23Chris Ryan:he's like I'll just pay for it here in Brainerd

1:11:25Kyle Brandt:want to be in compliance

1:11:27Bill Simmons:Butch's Girlfriend Award week link of the film this is tough I think people would put in Mike Yanagita that they're not watching the same movie, isn't it? I think that's an important scene. I don't have a weak link.

1:11:40Kyle Brandt:I think the only weak link could be if you're someone who is really turned off by graphic violence, like the wood chipper. I'm not that person. That's good. You know, like if, like I don't know if my wife would like the state trooper scene and she'd be like, I don't like that movie because of that.

1:11:53Chris Ryan:Or if it's too flippant. If there's something about the violence

1:11:55Kyle Brandt:that doesn't feel like, wait, we have to sit with this. I mean, it's so well shot.

1:11:59Bill Simmons:I have a weak link that's really a picky nit, but you could talk yourself into it. But like, Scotty's just not curious enough. Where's mom? He's a teenager. I know, but I was trying to think of my own son, if my wife just disappeared out of nowhere. How many days before he would have been like, hey, where's mom? What the fuck's going on? Why are you on the phone all the time? I just think kids are a little more perceptive. He asks like, are you going to call the cops?

1:12:26Kyle Brandt:Are you going to call Stan?

1:12:27Bill Simmons:And like, he's nervous for sure. I think the kid calls the cops. At some point, the kid's like, my mom's gone. I need to tell the police because he says to his dad, we should call the cops. He's like, no. He really puts the scare. The whole part about not calling the cops is a borderline weak link. I think it's a very compressed amount of time, too.

1:12:46Chris Ryan:I don't think it's a week and a half

1:12:48Bill Simmons:of them kicking around, really. One of the lessons of this movie, call the fucking cops. Sure. That was the father-in-law's mistake. He's like, no, no, we can't bring him in here. And Scotty, maybe be nicer to your mom because you never know when she's going to get kidnapped. Yeah, true. Come on, Scotty. what's aged the worst we mentioned how they did the Blair Witch move that was really all I had for what's aged the worst because it just seems dopey now because you would just google and be like this didn't happen why'd these fucking guys do this

1:13:15Chris Ryan:I think as a character who is aged the worst if you went into the future in the fictional world of Fargo it would be Scotty totally fucking orphaned but probably a multi-millionaire because he inheriting Wade's estate so now he's running parking lots and all of Brainerd, I guess. Yeah, his mom's murdered,

1:13:33Kyle Brandt:his grandpa's murdered. Very dark guy.

1:13:35Chris Ryan:I would love to see Fargo too, just the Scotty Chronicles. Maybe he buys the Minnesota Wild, you know, like...

1:13:42Bill Simmons:That's good. Bought in with Glenn Taylor

1:13:44Chris Ryan:and the T-Wolves. I guess the only other thing that's aged the worst is I personally don't really see a lot of hot buffets getting used up anymore. Do you? I see them at the supermarket.

1:13:55Kyle Brandt:Our supermarket has a hot food buffet. It'll be like a sweet and sour shrimp and then like ears of corn.

1:14:00Chris Ryan:It's always interesting.

1:14:01Kyle Brandt:Yeah.

1:14:02Chris Ryan:But then I just always think twice about it. I think middle America, it's still going. Okay.

1:14:07Kyle Brandt:There's a big spit guard factor there. Yeah. It's very communal.

1:14:10Chris Ryan:Even, okay, put it this way. Smorgasbord style, like it's all - That's a gross word. 4 ,500 calories. Per scoop.

1:14:17Kyle Brandt:Yeah. My age, the worst, was really jarring watching this. Do you guys now, like, do you sleep with your phone on your bedside table or is it away from where you sleep?

1:14:25Chris Ryan:It's pretty close.

1:14:29Bill Simmons:I flagrantly don't listen to all the evidence not to put your phone near where you sleep. I have it within reach.

1:14:36Kyle Brandt:I've done the work in another room. Margie being woken up by that phone next to her fucking face with an actual functional bell inside it in the middle of the night. I wonder if when Ben watched this, he's like, holy shit, that phone is so loud. And you don't even know who's calling. It could be an ex-murderer. It could be some weirdo from high school. The fact that she's just picking this up the middle of the night. I used to do that, of course, because I was alive for that, but that's aged terribly. At least I lived that way.

1:15:02Chris Ryan:Not being able to turn your ringer off, but also see who called. It's crazy.

1:15:04Kyle Brandt:And if you took the phone off the hook, it would be... Yeah, she's probably one of,

1:15:08Chris Ryan:you know, a dozen cops in a certain area in Brainerd, so she's got to have the phone.

1:15:13Bill Simmons:I think the buffet for lunch was a good call, CR. As a woods age, the worst. When you said smorgasbord, my mouth dried up a little bit.

1:15:19Chris Ryan:Yeah, it's just like, I just very rarely come across somebody who's like, I got to hit this chicken fricassee and meatballs before I get back the afternoon part of my job.

1:15:29Bill Simmons:When I worked for Kimmel's show, we used to have, like, we would write, we'd have this big lunch that they would cater every day. They'd bring in, like, Italian, and people would be like, oh, we should get Thai today or Zancou chicken and get all this food, and we would all, like, overeat. And then it's like, all right, time to write jokes. And we'd all be like, yeah. You don't even eat, like, before we do a live show.

1:15:48Chris Ryan:Like, it'll be 8 p.m.

1:15:49Bill Simmons:I'm only eating for, like, five hours, four.

1:15:51Chris Ryan:Pure hot water.

1:15:52Bill Simmons:So then I was like, we got to stop eating so heavy before we do we should get healthier stuff. Everyone's so fucking mad at me. Fucking Simmons, they're East Coast shit. Wanted to get salads. Fuck you. They wanted sandwiches and that stuff. I was thinking about that when I was watching that buffet of just eating a Swedish meatball at 12.30 in the afternoon. I wouldn't be able to function after that. Hans Gruber scale, villain ranking. We'll do Stormar, I guess, for this. How would you rank the villains in this movie? though. Is Jerry the most evil person in this movie? I had this in unanswerable questions.

1:16:30Bill Simmons:Is he the worst person in the movie? I actually think he is because he doesn't care about his son at all. He has stuff to actually care about and doesn't. His wife and his son, he's just there fucking disposable for some weird plan.

1:16:42Kyle Brandt:Stormare is just like a sociopath. He doesn't feel anything. But I think Lundegaard is the most despicable character by far. So in some ways,

1:16:48Chris Ryan:he's like the biggest villain in the movie. So what rank would you give him? I'd have like zero to Gruber.

1:16:54Kyle Brandt:yeah like an eight he's also the biggest pussy because i'm giving out a simon gruber like a little bit below a simon gruber like a seven eight yeah he like in they call him out in the first scene he won't even ask his wife or the father-in-law for the money oh when they when

1:17:07Chris Ryan:they catch him in the hotel room and he's just like oh my god like screaming like a baby yeah

1:17:12Kyle Brandt:he's fresh fish in prison how do you think london guard's gonna do in prison fargo yeah london guard's done jesus london guard in prison it'd be a five second movie

1:17:21Bill Simmons:He's got friends of the skinheads to try to survive. He's just getting killed. Ruffalo, Hannah, Rubenick, Partridge overacting word. I didn't have anybody for this.

1:17:29Kyle Brandt:It's hard to give it to this movie because everybody's... Acting so good. Yeah. I mean, you want to give it to Yonagita? No. Like, he's spectacular. He's nailing it. Proudfoot goes for it, but he's supposed to. You know, it's... Proudfoot may be the closest. Yeah. You motherfucker!

1:17:44Bill Simmons:You have a flex category, Kyle.

1:17:47Kyle Brandt:All right, flex category. I'm going to do the Will Campbell award for a character who knows way in over his head and is going to mess it up for the rest of the movie no I just made that up I haven't seen Bill since the Super Bowl so I wanted to hit him with some Super Bowl

1:18:04Chris Ryan:for the character with his shortest arms I felt like I got shot in the face like Carl

1:18:09Kyle Brandt:there's an actor who's not up to the task with the rest of the cast allegedly I have Billy Batts award for the most biting and scalable insult. The scene with him pulling up to that, for the parking ticket. Oh my God. Your clip on tie. Here we go. I suppose you think you're an authority figure. That stupid fucking tie in uniform. How big guy? King clip on tie there, big fucking man. If these are the limits of your life, pal, rule your little fucking gate here. Here's your$4, you pathetic piece of shit. God, isn't that erotic? And this guy, that shot of his smile just fading and just stupid bad teeth and everything.

1:18:49Kyle Brandt:It's, and then as, there's this part where that scene changes where he goes, I just pulled in here. And then he has this, he goes, I just fucking pulled in here. And then the guy starts honking. Yeah. That scene is so relatable. Like we've all been at that gate and be like, do I really have to pay the$4?

1:19:04Chris Ryan:And he even tries to like, kind of reach out to him where he's like, I've decided not to go on my trip. Yeah, it turns out. So it's not even like, I'm deciding not to park. I'm not even flying where I thought I was going to fly. Well, yeah,

1:19:13Kyle Brandt:I still have to pay the$4. Yeah, right. and it's an amazing put down. That was a good one. Thank you. The CR thinks Luke Wilson

1:19:20Bill Simmons:could have been hair support hottest take award. What'd you have CR?

1:19:23Chris Ryan:We alluded to this a little bit in our opening conversation, but this movie is in direct conversation with No Country for Old Men. And I think, you know, you have the bag of money, the character in over their head, sacrificial wife, and a cop who is trying to make sense of the extreme violence that they come across. I thought it was amazing that Marge's last lines, basically, is like, so that was Mr. Lundergaard. That was Mrs. Lundergaard over there on the floor. And I guess that was your accomplice in the wood chipper. And those three people in Brainerd. And for what? For a little bit of money.

1:19:54Chris Ryan:There's more to life than a little money, you know. Don't you know that? And here you are. It's a beautiful day. Well, I don't understand it. And then at Tom Bell, Tommy Lee Jones in No Country, just goes, the crime you see now, it's hard to even take its measure. It's not that I'm afraid of it. I always knew you had to be willing to die to do this job. But I don't want to push my chips forward and go out and meet something I don't understand. It's just kind of like that. I've gotten to the sort of part of evil and the darkness out there that is incomprehensible. It's amazing that these guys are like, that in between Cormac McCarthy writes this novel, but that they're kind of making the same story and talking about the same stuff.

1:20:31Bill Simmons:Interesting. Yeah, because that's one of the things I love about No Country is he has this realization like, what am I doing this for? Yeah. Like there's some dark shit out there. I'm getting older and I just... it's not for me anymore. I think about that when I watch some of these cop movies sometimes. These people in their early 30s, they're jumping over parking garages trying to catch somebody and it's like, at some point, you must realize, what the fuck, man? There's just going to be another guy coming. I'm doing this. I don't get respect from anybody for it.

1:21:03Kyle Brandt:Remember, I mean, the end of Seven where he's like, the world is a wonderful place and worth fighting for, I believe the first part. And the Morgan Freeman's just like, I just saw the worst thing I've ever seen in my life. I think I'm done

1:21:14Bill Simmons:yeah I'm done what did you have for this Kyle?

1:21:18Kyle Brandt:so Geyer Grimsrud Stormare in this of all the insane shit he does in this movie the wood shipper, the executions by far the craziest thing he does is calling for a second pancake meal of the day have you ever done it? I don't think it's ever been done I want to put yourself in a position where you're on a fucking road trip and in the morning you have a full stack of fluffy, buttery, syrupy pancakes. And you're sitting. It's like media constipation. You're sitting. You're fucking farting. It's disgusting. You are chain smoking.

1:21:51Bill Simmons:So I'm right up with a constipation.

1:21:52Kyle Brandt:And then in the same day, they're like, let's run it back. I want another stack of pancakes. Carl's first reaction is, what are you, nuts? And I feel like the Coens are like, we need a creative way to tell people what a lunatic this is.

1:22:04Chris Ryan:He's only interested in like cigarettes, pancakes, and killing people.

1:22:08Kyle Brandt:Not even like, not even pasta or pizza. So like pancakes, I don't want it in the same week after a plate of pancakes. And there's also this funny detail where the line says, we stop at Pancake's house. And he kept going to the Coen's and be like, I think there's a typo in the script. It should be Pancake's house. And they're like, there's no typos in the script. It's Pancake's house, which makes him sound more crazy. It's like you have a fucking mattress in your stomach all day.

1:22:33Chris Ryan:I'm trying to remember, like, this is a great one. Like, when have you doubled cuisine in the same day? And what cuisine would it be?

1:22:40Kyle Brandt:Yeah.

1:22:40Bill Simmons:Pizza, maybe like tacos, like a breakfast burrito. If we had Joe Haas here, he would just be rattling off.

1:22:47Chris Ryan:He'd be like, oh, I'll do a morning gumbo and then like a nighttime seafood tower. I couldn't do that. It would probably be protein, probably not dairy.

1:22:54Kyle Brandt:But you know that Grimms was like that full ice cream scoop of butter on every slice, not to mention the sides. And Carl's like, let's get a steak and a beer. I know. And he's like, more fucking pancakes. It's insane. All the other shit. I get why he puts the wood chip where he has to conceal the evidence. he shoots the cop for self-preservation the pancakes is inexplicable Red Auerbach

1:23:15Bill Simmons:used to find any Celtic that had pancakes are you serious? slow him down? just an actual find are you saying Red Auerbach

1:23:21Chris Ryan:invented heat culture? if Red Auerbach

1:23:24Bill Simmons:found out you had pancakes he fined you like $25 he thought they were the worst thing a human being could eat yeah they're rough they're fucking amazing though they're good my out of stake in 1997 a year after this movie a pilot was filmed for a TV series set in Brainerd shortly after the events of the film starring Edie Falco as Marge Gunderson. No involvement from the Coens, directed by Kathy Bates, the pilot you can find on YouTube. I sent it to you guys. It's an amazing what if. Yeah. Because if this pilot gets picked up, The Sopranos now no longer has Edie Falco as Carmela, who I think there's three people that have to be on that show, right?

1:24:04Bill Simmons:If you're going Sopranos, does this show work without these people? it's really only Tony and Carmella I even think you could have somebody else's Melfi and probably be fine Pauly Walnuts would be my third I just think he's irreplaceable would Imperioli be like Christopher's a big character so there's four, yeah Imperioli would be the fourth but I just think if you take Carmelo out of that, I don't think that's the greatest show of all time anymore, so the pilot doesn't get picked up, huge what if it's almost like we have in sports where it's like, oh Portland had taken MJ. The fucking world splits.

1:24:39Chris Ryan:The ripples go up to there's no Fargo series from Noah Hawley. So you miss out on Kirsten Dunst and Jesse Plemons season. The Billy Bob Thornton renaissance kind of starts on Fargo. There's a lot of stuff that comes out of Fargo that wouldn't have happened. Edie Falco. Instead she goes and does Oz.

1:25:00Bill Simmons:Which leads to Sopranos.

1:25:02Kyle Brandt:It's interesting because initially they wanted Bracco for Carmella. She said no. She didn't want to be the wife again. She's done Karen. So I wonder if they could have gotten her. Probably not. I think you're right. You can't have that show without Falco. One of the greatest performances ever.

1:25:16Bill Simmons:You know why she didn't want to be the wife? Carmella?

1:25:19Kyle Brandt:Because that's all we had! Karen! They would have found it! They would have found it!

1:25:26Chris Ryan:That's all we had!

1:25:27Kyle Brandt:They would have found it.

1:25:29Chris Ryan:Oh no! The way she says, oh no.

1:25:35Bill Simmons:Cassie Woodhips I almost couldn't believe this and had to research it and it's true I thought it was internet bullshit and it's just not Bill Pullman was supposed to be Jerry really? Bill Pullman Bill Pullman was supposed to be Jerry and had to back out had some sort of scheduling conflict and that's what led to William H. Macy like yeah

1:25:54Chris Ryan:Macy talked about how he basically chased the Coens across the country doing auditions Bill Pullman he's way too handsome like he's

1:26:02Kyle Brandt:Pullman is dashing

1:26:04Chris Ryan:like he's romantic leads no way god i wonder what he pulled out for bill pullman is that wouldn't have been that's not independence day right like when when would he independence day is like 96

1:26:15Bill Simmons:right around there bill pullman was in the mix in like a big big a-list way for like five years sure because even malice which we have not thought of the rewatchables but sierra and i both love yeah but uh he's it's him kidman and alc baldwin yeah three of them um he's in independence day I don't know he's in One of the wider yeah which one of those wider he's not in Tombstone the wider then they looked at Richard Jenkins for a while and gave it to Macy I don't know

1:26:46Chris Ryan:Jenkins Jenkins is so good in Bernadette Jenkins with a Minnesota accent

1:26:50Kyle Brandt:I know if Pullman becomes Lundegaard does William H. Macy become the president of the United States in Independence Day

1:26:57Chris Ryan:that would be pretty good pretty good wow

1:27:00Kyle Brandt:as Jerry Lundegaard We will not go quietly tonight, okay?

1:27:06Bill Simmons:Best that guy. It has to be Harv Presnell as Wade Gustafson.

1:27:12Kyle Brandt:I don't... Is that what you had, Chris? No, I had Larry Brandenburg as Stan. Stan Grossman. He's in Shawshank. He's part of the crew. Think about it. He doesn't have any lines. But he's part of that Red and Andy crew who's betting on the fresh fish. And I just... I had no idea what his name was. Larry Brandenburg as Stan Grossman? Is that what you had, Chris? That's what I had.

1:27:33Bill Simmons:You know, he does two episodes of Cheers. It's a really good one. You might be right. Because the only reason I had Harv, he hadn't made a movie in 20 years. This is awesome. Yes. He was like this 50s, 60s, 70s guy and then retired and then they pulled him back somehow.

1:27:46Chris Ryan:They had the best eye for faces. They'll just be like, that's who it is.

1:27:50Kyle Brandt:And then two seconds later, he's in Private Ryan as a general and Spielberg casts him, right? He shows up in that movie.

1:27:56Chris Ryan:With the only one-armed guy, right? Yeah.

1:27:58Bill Simmons:So the Shawshank crew was... it was the guy who was in Silent Rage yeah that guy I don't know his name it was the stuttering guy the stuttering guy it was Brooks William Sadler and then that guy was the quiet guy Morgan Freeman there was one more too

1:28:25Kyle Brandt:well there's the guy from The Sopranos who marries Janice isn't he in that crew Yes. Yeah, Richie April. Yeah, Richie April. Yeah, he's the other one.

1:28:36Bill Simmons:Dion Waiters Award. Steve Park. Who do you have? Steve Park. Steve Park as Mike Yanagito.

1:28:44Chris Ryan:I could offer you Shep Proudfoot. It's Steve Park. It's maybe one of the great Dion's of the history of his pod.

1:28:50Bill Simmons:I could offer you the guy who wanted to pay$19.5 for his vehicle with no true code. Very funny. Very good. Fucking liar. I could offer you Jose Feliciano. Got no complaints. And I can offer you the two escorts who made the point that he was funny looking, not circumcised. I love all the offerings. It's Mike Yanagita.

1:29:07Kyle Brandt:Chris, you just brought me there. I have Yanagita on my Waiters Rushmore. I have Drexel and True Romance. I've got Walking in Pulp Fiction. I've got Mike Yanagita. And I've got The Goat, Multiple Migs. Those are my four all-time Deon Waiters. He's in the George Washington state of Rushmore. Multiple Migs, two lines of dialogue. and eternal impression. But Yannigita is on that with next.

1:29:31Chris Ryan:I would only add John Marley's Jack Wolfson, Godfather 1.

1:29:37Kyle Brandt:Oh, yeah.

1:29:38Bill Simmons:We've had so many good Deons. I'd love to see the complete list. Yeah, that sounds like a bracket. That's a great list.

1:29:44Kyle Brandt:It sounds like a bracket, too. Like, it's tourney time. They did... That would be a good bracket. Roger Ebert did a special episode of their show with Scorsese when it went to 2000 where they list their top 10 movies in the 90s. Scorsese comes on and he says he's got Fargo at number four one of the first things he says in his commentary about this movie that won all these awards is and there's this amazing scene with this Asian American actor who is giving all his emotions out and it's just a beautiful scene like he fucking loved the Yannick Gita scene Scorsese it was like his favorite scene in the movie it's so so so good

1:30:15Bill Simmons:who do we have for pulp for Dion was it the wolf

1:30:18Kyle Brandt:or Walken or Walken this watch up your ass I think it was Walken yes do you know that the guy Stephen Park I know everything about this scene he's talked about this scene and when he performed it, Mike Yanagida the Coens came up to him afterwards and they're like, so fucking funny hilarious, and he was like really hurt because he's like, what do you mean? I was like pouring my heart out it's funny, like their laugh, he thought it was like a straight dramatic scene the fact that he goes same side of the booth and just takes that and takes that risk we've never done a pod can you imagine five minutes and I'm just coming over here do you mind if I sit over here and you're like no I like you over there I can see you better I'll do Yanagiri for the rest of this pod because if she was alright with him sitting there he's going in for the kiss I have a take on that Yanagiri has a room he's got a room with the Radisson it's not just the lunch at the Radisson he's suited up he's got like a scotch this is everything Hold on.

1:31:24Bill Simmons:In Yanagiri's defense, Go on. she suggests the Radisson. It's a fucking hotel. Let's have lunch at the Radisson.

1:31:31Chris Ryan:Do you think when he's watching her on TV do the press conference or get interviewed about this case that he can see that she's pregnant? Or does she have a big coat on? I don't think he can see. Oh, you think he's like pregnant fetish? No, I just think, it's like, I wonder if when she walks in, is she clearly pregnant? Porn searches for this movie. Women on top and pregnant. Third trimester too. Wood chipper. I think he's quite crestfallen that she's pregnant. I think so too. I think when she orders the Diet Coke, he's like, shit. Yeah.

1:31:57Bill Simmons:Recast the Couch Director City.

1:31:58Kyle Brandt:She wants her to get like a Long Island. Yeah. You know? I wonder, I would hope if she would not leave that drink unattended either. Like, I think everything's on the table. Oh my God. It's not good. Not good.

1:32:09Bill Simmons:Recast the Couch Director City. You can't do a different city. Can we test drive Robert Duvall as the father-in-law? Yeah. Just give it a test drive just because he passed away recently. but I was thinking a little more firepower for that character. Does that do anything for this movie? He's going to McDonald's.

1:32:28Kyle Brandt:He didn't finish. He'd be fantastic.

1:32:30Chris Ryan:The thing I like about it is these guys picked this dude out of relative obscurity, hasn't acted from 20 years. It looks like the role of his lifetime, the role he's meant to do, and he does the exact thing they need him to do. And sometimes it's like... I know. It's like a 70s detective show for us. We're like, what if Brando could do this? And it's like, well, what if Brando then ruins the movie?

1:32:50Kyle Brandt:he shows up too in face off right after this he got caught he's in face off too directors were picking him, they liked him

1:32:59Bill Simmons:Half-East Learning Research Stormare has 18 lines of dialogue never says more than one sentence I think most of it is in the pancake conversation

1:33:09Kyle Brandt:you know what it makes me think of our guy right here very few lines of dialogue, machine-like killer it's close to the sun look at that guy

1:33:17Bill Simmons:I know, I love that man. In his book, Stand for Something, The Battle for America's Soul, Ohio Governor John Kasich spends three pages describing his hatred for this film. Yeah, okay. What's his substance? That's all I did. I think he probably hates its depiction

1:33:34Chris Ryan:of a smaller town in America.

1:33:36Bill Simmons:The Paul Bunyan statue was built for the film and dismantled. Wade's car dealership was filmed in Richfield, Minnesota. Now occupied by a Best Buy. Okay. They're still at Best Buy? Great. King of Clubs was in Northeast Minneapolis, demolished in 03, replaced by low-income housing. Before BS could come in with a tiny little investment. Joel Cohen had McDormand and John Carroll Lynch conceive a backstory for their characters to get the feel of the characters. And they decided Norm and Marge met working on the police force. When they married, they had to choose which one quit. Norm quit and took up painting.

1:34:14Kyle Brandt:Because Norm doesn't work, right? He's a painter. painted the three cent stands.

1:34:18Chris Ryan:I assume that they work, that they went to high school together because Yadigita is like, oh, you remember her? She was a year behind us. Yeah.

1:34:24Bill Simmons:I mean, he was hilarious in high school. Yeah.

1:34:30Bill Simmons:The trademark Minnesota, yeah, appears 179 times in the script. Great. That's all I got. Apex Mountain.

1:34:39Chris Ryan:Well, for Apex Mountain, certainly Swedish meatballs. Because when you think about what IKEA was doing with their, their amazing cafe when you would go get some furniture that you would then get divorced while you put it together. Yeah. And then also this movie, I just, I don't really know when Swedish meatballs have peaked again. I would also say GMAC financing plans. Riley Giffenbach? Yeah. And then True Code Sealant.

1:35:06Bill Simmons:Would you say Coen Brothers? No. I'd say no country is Coen Brothers. I would say that as well. Macy, it's not yet, but maybe after Boogie Nights we're getting there. getting in the vicinity some would argue the cooler when he actually led a movie that had a lot of people in it

1:35:23Kyle Brandt:people love that show Shameless he was on for years I never watched it but I know people like it

1:35:31Bill Simmons:Minnesota probably the world series in 88 or 87 Kirby Puckett or 91 Kent Herbeck, Greg Gagne

1:35:38Kyle Brandt:the 98 Vikings and Moss's rookie year and Randall Cunningham and they went to the title game they were unbelievable

1:35:44Chris Ryan:KG winning that first round series against the games.

1:35:48Kyle Brandt:Oh, yeah.

1:35:49Bill Simmons:Windshield scraper scenes? Yeah. Buscemi? Nah, well...

1:35:56Kyle Brandt:He wins a Golden Globe for that Boardwalk Empire. This is my favorite role of his.

1:36:01Chris Ryan:Yeah, I think there's been bigger moments. I think Con Air is probably like his apex. He got that right after this.

1:36:06Kyle Brandt:He starts being a movie star. He starts doing all the Sandler movies.

1:36:09Bill Simmons:It's funny, I would probably... I'm not right, but I'd probably say Sopranos because he was also directing. Yeah. And when he was in Sopranos, it was such a big deal. It's like, oh my God, they got Buscemi for it. He's going to play Tony's cousin. He's fucking unbelievable. I can't believe they're doing this.

1:36:26Kyle Brandt:And the way his story ended on the porch, that's so good.

1:36:30Bill Simmons:McDormand, no. But I don't know what it is. I think her career was intentionally designed not to have an Apex. Three billboards was like the most attention I think she got. The Blue Ox, probably the most fun I had there. Yeah. Yeah. They're having a hell of a time. Shovel murders?

1:36:46Kyle Brandt:Better shovel murder for you? We dance close with some shovel murders in Home Alone. That's the thing. It's implied. Yeah, the street slayer. No shovel? Yeah.

1:36:57Bill Simmons:I remember at Halloween, there was a good through-the-face shovel murder, but this was pretty good. Fargo.

1:37:06Kyle Brandt:Fargo the town?

1:37:07Chris Ryan:It could have been named Brainerd. Most of the action, the movie takes place. They talked about that and said

1:37:13Bill Simmons:they just liked the name Fargo better.

1:37:15Chris Ryan:This is the best thing about them is that people will spend decades kind of unpacking their movies and they're like, eh, kidnapping's just cool. Yeah.

1:37:22Bill Simmons:We're just making movies. Why didn't you name it Brainerd?

1:37:24Chris Ryan:Eh, it didn't sound good enough. We didn't like it.

1:37:25Bill Simmons:Fargo sounds much cooler. Stormare, I'm still going. Dino Velvet. Yeah, for sure. I don't care how good he was. I think Armageddon, but yeah.

1:37:31Kyle Brandt:Six months after this movie came out, he was in a jungle with Steven Spielberg shooting The Lost World. Like, he had a fucking ascension. What a run. Late 90s was a good run for him. Oh my God, he was everywhere.

1:37:40Bill Simmons:Dangling cigarette smoking?

1:37:43Kyle Brandt:there's a scene where Ray Stance in Ghostbusters has one dragon on his lip for like 10 seconds as he's looking at Slimer it's iconic Dan Aykroyd he lets this thing hang and he's like I don't know how they did it but it's really you know what I'm talking about I do it's really funny

1:37:58Bill Simmons:Minnesota accents yeah yeah alright here's my favorite one in movie disfiguring facial wounds Mount Rushmore I have one battle

1:38:07Chris Ryan:yeah

1:38:08Bill Simmons:freeway with Kiefer Sutherland

1:38:11Chris Ryan:Okay.

1:38:12Bill Simmons:Reese Witherspoon shoots him in the face and then he's like, Fargo, what's the fourth one? It's definitely Aaron Eckhart in Dark Knight.

1:38:20Kyle Brandt:There we go. Two-Face. It burns half of his face off in gasoline. But he didn't even get shot, though.

1:38:25Bill Simmons:No, I'm sorry. I just mean face injury. Well, I think we can sneak that in then.

1:38:29Kyle Brandt:Gus Fring has the same thing at the end of Breaking Bad. Like half of his face is melting off just like that.

1:38:33Chris Ryan:It's true.

1:38:34Kyle Brandt:That's good.

1:38:36Bill Simmons:Cruiser Hanks. It's Hanks because he thinks this is a perfect movie. and Hanks could have played how many characters he could have played Jerry Jerry for sure he could play older Hanks could have played the dad

1:38:47Chris Ryan:yeah Wade yeah I mean he could play he could play the guy shoveling snow in his driveway he was like going crazy out there calling me a jerk yeah

1:38:54Bill Simmons:honestly he would have been a really interesting Stormare he's never really went we never got dark Hanks not this dark no yeah it would have been disorienting to watch him play somebody that evil

1:39:08Kyle Brandt:this the road to perdition he's a killer with a tommy gun and gets in gunfights and stuff like that but not like this I have Cruz written down as Stormare just because oh I want to see you guys talk about his smoking yeah like Vincent from Collateral the smoking I just want to see you guys break down the Cruz smoking I can see Cruz doing Carl

1:39:24Chris Ryan:more than Stormare like Carl oh really yeah Cruz just be like you're fucking imbecile

1:39:28Bill Simmons:oh like doing cocktail Cruz yeah yeah Scorsese or Spielberg clearly Scorsese we did best hang worst hang the two criminals Carl Gara is what I got does Sarah Connor Award for would modern technology ruin this movie? Yes. Ring cameras, cell phone pings, and texting? I think we catch these guys in five minutes.

1:39:47Kyle Brandt:Yeah, you can't take a license plate off of a parking garage car. You're just everywhere. You're on five cameras.

1:39:53Chris Ryan:Kind of wild that when she gets out to the scene of the state trooper having been shot, it's just two cops. You'd think there would be like, the FBI would be there. There would be 30 cops out there. and it's just the two of them.

1:40:07Kyle Brandt:She asked Lou, where is everybody? He's like, well, it's cold, Margie. That's the explanation. It's cold. That's right. There's like no one wanted to come out.

1:40:14Bill Simmons:Picking Nets. We mentioned the title. I have a couple good ones, but what'd you guys have?

1:40:20Kyle Brandt:I'll rattle some. First of all, the Lundegaards would definitely have a dog, which I think would be a fun part of the home invasion. The fact that Scotty does not have a Kirby Puckett poster in his room is ridiculous. 1987. He doesn't like sports. He's a hockey guy.

1:40:34Chris Ryan:He likes hockey.

1:40:34Kyle Brandt:Most importantly, though. Oh, true. He would have had a North Stars poster or something. North Stars something. Most important picking it. I know it's a funny line. It makes for a good dialogue. There's no fucking way Carl is uncircumcised. This is a white guy from the Midwest. Hello. There's no fucking way. I know it's funny. Now, if you want to talk about Stormare, the Swedish guy, then we can talk. Carl is, she says, it wasn't, I get it's funny. There's no fucking way he's uncircumcised. That's a great one.

1:41:02Chris Ryan:Oh my God.

1:41:03Kyle Brandt:How many UCR month?

1:41:04Chris Ryan:why does Carl not take off why does he go back for Gare and go back to like be like hey I got he gives him the money some money it's a man of honor

1:41:14Kyle Brandt:maybe he's worried he'll come after him maybe he gives him the 40 ,000 he's like I got a million I'm just gonna do this right close the end I'm out of here but if yeah I mean in retrospect how about why did he bury the money cause he didn't want to show up to the house with it in the car

1:41:27Chris Ryan:yeah cause then he can always use that as like if he needs to

1:41:30Bill Simmons:well why wouldn't he bury it closer to the house I know Because half of his face is hanging off. Yeah, I guess he's... All right, so I have two. I have the father-in-law never connecting the dots. He seemed like a smart guy, a good businessman. Yeah. Jerry needs... He wants the money himself for the kidnapping, 750. That's a good one, Bill. Then the kidnappers want a million. It's like right in the vicinity. I just sort of been like...

1:41:53Chris Ryan:This is my unanswerable question is, what's Jerry gotten himself into? Is he... They don't want you to know.

1:41:58Bill Simmons:It's like the suitcase. He's taking out loans on cars that don't exist. Yeah.

1:42:02Chris Ryan:is it to pay for something else or is it to pay for that parking lot? They don't want us to know.

1:42:08Bill Simmons:Yeah. Or is it just to get rich? They said that. Cohen's literally said we didn't want people to think about it. They did the Pulp Fiction suitcase.

1:42:17Chris Ryan:The GMAC thing when he's just like, yeah, so I'm going to need those VIN numbers. He's like, okay.

1:42:20Kyle Brandt:I'll fax it over. Yeah, I'm going to have my girl send him right over. Think about his master plan. It's just write him hard to read in pencil and fax it. And that's the perfect crime.

1:42:29Chris Ryan:He sent him$300 ,000.

1:42:31Kyle Brandt:they were like okay here you go bud my patience is at an end yeah i was thinking what's the most

1:42:35Bill Simmons:realistic funny reason that he's down three hundred thousand dollars or whatever be like him gambling on go for socks in the 86 world series gambling playoffs 93 yeah you gotta be

1:42:49Kyle Brandt:thinking differently about him now that i know jerry lindergard has a playboy hanging right there in his bathroom he might be some sort of pervert at the at the diner you know that's a very weighted moment. He kind of looks at her. How are you doing? He full up does how are you doing to her. It's a good call, Chris. There might be something there with him.

1:43:06Bill Simmons:I think the father-in-law would have figured that out. Second thing, why are the criminals in the car for this long? I did some Googling.

1:43:14Kyle Brandt:It's not that far?

1:43:15Bill Simmons:Fargo to Minnesota, four hours. Brainerd to Minnesota, two hours. Brainerd to Fargo, three hours. Why do we have to stay overnight? Minneapolis. Why do we have to stay overnight anywhere? It's a four-hour drive. I'm driving, dude, in three. I have to get a hotel and sleep in the same double beds.

1:43:33Chris Ryan:You're going to do it in three despite the fact that it's complete white-out blizzard conditions.

1:43:37Bill Simmons:I have to do pancakes twice with Stormer and then share double-bed hookers with him? I want to get to my location and get away from this guy. They make it seem like they're driving from New York. I can't imagine anybody more miserable in this circumstance than you. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. The smoking in the car or the windows is a personal assault. Oh, my God. Honestly, it's... They say that's a cancer agent. Carcinogen, whatever. It's a sociopath behavior. Okay, sequel, prequel, Prestige TV, all broadcast, Untouchable. Obviously, Prestige TV, because we had it. Yep. And I didn't see the first season of Fargo.

1:44:15Bill Simmons:I never watched the Fargo TV series, which is a whole. Maybe I should. But the first season picks up with what happened to the money, right? Yes. They talk about the case that's buried?

1:44:24Chris Ryan:The case is buried. It goes back. and I think one of the characters is Marge's... I think Ted Danson plays Marge's father or grandfather. I can't remember. It's been a while since I've seen it.

1:44:36Kyle Brandt:Bilbo's in it, right? He's the guy who plays Bilbo in The Hobbit. Elijah Wood? No, that's Frodo. Oh. Bilbo? Yeah. What's the guy? He's a super famous actor. I thought he was the lead in... Kyle, you're in the wrong room right now. Ian Holm? Yeah. No, not Ian Holm. In the new movie, in the Hobbit movies. What's that guy's name? Oh, Martin Freeman. Yeah, Martin Freeman. Yeah, I can't remember.

1:44:57Chris Ryan:This is the thing is I just haven't seen the Fargo since they came out.

1:45:00Bill Simmons:I haven't seen shit either. You guys might be talking another language right now. Build off? No?

1:45:05Kyle Brandt:When's the fellowship pod?

1:45:07Chris Ryan:It was CR month. He couldn't push for it. If you could do Star Wars,

1:45:10Kyle Brandt:you could do fellowship. Never?

1:45:12Chris Ryan:It would be funny to do Hobbit in this room and you just aren't there. We just have like a cutout of you. Like right there.

1:45:19Bill Simmons:I'm in one of those cages like Shot Caller at the end of Shot Caller. Let me out. Is this movie better with Wayne Jenkins, Fergie the Flores, Zane Lowe, or somebody else? Kyle, you want to go first? I go first.

1:45:36Kyle Brandt:All right. So it's March. I'm going to have to really work up for this. I just feel like at that Radisson, I think Gus is there. Mike Yannickita, young fella. Ha ha. Suited up at the Radisson. Linda Cooksey, suck it. Same side of the booth.

1:46:00Chris Ryan:Rejected. Oh, no, son of a gun. No,

1:46:06Kyle Brandt:no. My voice isn't right right now. Holy shit.

1:46:10Bill Simmons:It's March. It's Gus time. Mike Yanagina would be the best name Gus has never said. Mike Yanagina. He would love Yanagina. There's a guy on Arkansas now. that Darius Acuff. Oh, yeah. Just waiting for Gus. You're really having

1:46:28Chris Ryan:a college basketball renaissance. I'm into this draft. Yeah, I've been watching.

1:46:32Bill Simmons:I've been watching some. Holy shit, Gus. CRD. I was going to do Zane,

1:46:37Chris Ryan:but it feels like... No, no. People wanted Zane. Marge, I just want to say right out front, right out in the open, you're on an incredible journey in law enforcement, but you're also on an incredible journey of motherhood. And tell me about that. Tell me about your journey Because we're all watching We're all waiting Just like you

1:46:59Kyle Brandt:Chris, when you do it You do this thing Yeah That's perfect

1:47:02Chris Ryan:I've been watching a lot of tape I'm going to improve over the course of CR month

1:47:06Kyle Brandt:I hope that's not to the detriment of Frenchie appearances Because I'm such a fan I even lived it into the last pod

1:47:12Chris Ryan:The police woman And the mother I do think Carl Showalter would also make an incredible first take guest just because he's like, I'm not going to debate you. I'm not going to debate you, Stephen. No, that's great. That's great. Carl Showalter, what do you think about Anthony Richardson going to a new team? I'm not going to debate you. I'm not here to debate you.

1:47:33Kyle Brandt:Carl, is Sam Donald now an elite quarterback in the league?

1:47:36Bill Simmons:Carl, the ninth person at first take, not to sell any of Shrigs' jokes. Oh, God. Poor Shrigs. I'm selling them at home. I'm laughing at home. A couple people are on there, so only a couple. Just want to ask her who gets it. I mean McDormand won the Oscar

1:47:53Chris Ryan:I would say Macy Buscemi or Francis or the Coens or Deacons is like a legit and the Oscar goes to Stephen Park let's say Marge

1:48:05Bill Simmons:Marge up here

1:48:06Chris Ryan:so what's going on with you Marge you're doing law enforcement you're doing the motherhood thing Norm's painting keep us all up where have you been man Marge you eat lunch you eat so many calories he'll do like a 55 second long question and then Tame Impala will be like, yes. It's so good, man.

1:48:27Bill Simmons:Probably an answer for questions. Why was Marge pregnant is a question my son asked, but I think... What do you mean? Oh, that was one of his questions. Why was she pregnant? Why did they make her pregnant for the movie? Was there a purpose behind it?

1:48:39Chris Ryan:I think she's the...

1:48:40Bill Simmons:I think it's just to make it a scene more human.

1:48:42Chris Ryan:A cradle of new life in a world that's got so much death. Yeah.

1:48:46Bill Simmons:We talked about what kind of money trouble was Jerry in. could you really dispose of bodies with a wood chipper?

1:48:55Kyle Brandt:I think so. That's how good a wood chipper is? You got a high-grade wood chipper and you're a strong man. You used to make things back here.

1:49:01Chris Ryan:You know, it's pre-NAFTA machinery.

1:49:03Kyle Brandt:They really just grinded it out. Because he probably was going to put Mrs. Lundegaard in there next, too. He was like halfway done.

1:49:09Chris Ryan:I think it put a piece of timber in there. They should be able to put a human body in there.

1:49:10Bill Simmons:That's a lot of DNA evidence, though, on the kid shot out. It doesn't make sense.

1:49:14Chris Ryan:Those guys are spooching all over motel rooms across Minnesota. It's true.

1:49:21Chris Ryan:they're like when michael douglas comes in and does the black light and it's like this guy uh jim and answer if they put the tags on the license plate so they get away with it

1:49:32Kyle Brandt:like that unravels everything which is by the way carl is so stupid like you have to put the fucking tags on there that means there's no murders in brainerd they get to the house it probably goes sideways because wade's still going to show up for the drop-off but Carl's not going to be pissed and having killed people. If they put the tags on, does it work? It's a great point, but the fact that he doesn't

1:49:54Chris Ryan:because he's like, fuck them, I don't put my tags on is exactly why he's a criminal. And it's like the same reason why it's like if those guys don't need to get laid basically every night, they're fine. Nobody's seen them. Nobody knows who they are. They find them through the escort. It would seem like the number one thing you're doing

1:50:10Bill Simmons:as a criminal is you're going in some parking garage at three in the morning and taking off somebody's license plate and put it on your car. Which is what Carl does eventually, but just too late. But that's like, that should be one of the first five things. Like get a gun, steal a license plate, leave my cell phone at home so I can't get... Don't have a lot of

1:50:25Chris Ryan:violently tinged conversations with people in random bars. Right. You know,

1:50:29Bill Simmons:that are very memorable. Don't tell two escorts exactly what my plans are for the next five days. Yeah. It includes the kidnapping.

1:50:36Kyle Brandt:And do it for more than$20 ,000. Like that's what they were originally paid. 20 grand each. For the whole abduction and everything. It's pretty bad.

1:50:43Bill Simmons:That was another answer I had is what was Stormare's... What was he doing two weeks before this?

1:50:53Kyle Brandt:Smoking.

1:50:55Bill Simmons:Bouncer at a bar? Nah. Part-time driving a snowplow? Writing a manifesto. I think he's been in that state.

1:51:02Chris Ryan:They're like three packs a day, eight beers a night. Probably a girl at the end of it for a long time. Yeah.

1:51:09Bill Simmons:obviously not a great guy because Shep knew him probably from prison so maybe he got out of prison this thing is very interesting

1:51:20Kyle Brandt:Shep vouches for Gare knows Carl but doesn't vouch for him I don't understand what their relationship is Carl and Shep I think it's just doing prison time with each other I thought Shep didn't know Carl was

1:51:33Chris Ryan:I thought he's like don't know that guy don't vouch for him

1:51:36Kyle Brandt:well he's lying because the second Oh, right. Carl's in his house. He says, Shep, what are you doing? I was banging that girl. And they're at his house.

1:51:43Chris Ryan:Maybe he's just being honest. I don't vouch for him.

1:51:45Kyle Brandt:Yeah, he doesn't like him. I think it's because Shep and Grimzer, they're one of a kind. They don't fucking talk. They're very violent, whereas Carl never shuts the fuck off. And I think that's the worst thing you can do as a criminal is keep talking.

1:51:57Bill Simmons:One of the things I always learn from these crime movies is you're just more likely to commit more crimes after you get out of prison with people you serve time with. so really the move is to when you get out of prison cut all the ties with the people you're in prison with because that's where they're going to look immediately to see if oh was he in that I just think that that's a level of sophisticated planning

1:52:18Chris Ryan:that would rob us of so many good crime movies also when you're in prison

1:52:21Kyle Brandt:just don't ever call anybody Slick that's right

1:52:24Bill Simmons:any sort of nickname don't really have any traits that people can point to say what Slick this changes the whole movie what piece of memorabilia would you want or not want from this movie I just want to say I really like the cop jackets with the fur hoods. The brown ones? Yeah, I think if you got a game used... What was her dumb partner's name? Lou.

1:52:46Kyle Brandt:Game used Lou hat?

1:52:47Bill Simmons:Game used Lou vest jacket thing. You could do some walking talks around LA.

1:52:52Chris Ryan:When it gets cold,

1:52:54Bill Simmons:I would also offer a Gustafson Motors sign. Just have that right over there. Gustafson Motors here would be really cool. Yeah, Gustafson Motors.

1:53:03Kyle Brandt:I was really charmed during the Ace Ventura pod, listening to Craig Horbeck's naivete about Isotoner gloves and Dan Marino. He couldn't wrap his mind around just leisure gloves because it's a really weird concept. Carl has driving gloves for the entire movie. It's so good. With the open knuckles and everything. Those are great. I think I'm ready to enter a driving glove phase in my life.

1:53:22Chris Ryan:Driving slippers as well. That'd be great. Driving slippers.

1:53:24Kyle Brandt:Yeah. I want Carl's gloves, and I'd like to just drive to baseball practice.

1:53:29Bill Simmons:What are the driving... As you know, I love to drive. What are the driving gloves? Is it better grip? like what am I getting out of this I think it's less

1:53:35Chris Ryan:pressure on your hands so it's like I think it goes back

1:53:38Kyle Brandt:to when there wasn't power steering and you had to really twist the wheel I think it's that old school and now I just think

1:53:43Chris Ryan:it's stylish guys who were just like I gotta drive six hours my hands are gonna get cows I don't know

1:53:48Bill Simmons:Coach Finstock Mr. Miyagi were best worst life lesson there's more to life than a little money you know don't you know that

1:53:54Kyle Brandt:yeah

1:53:55Bill Simmons:that's gotta be the life lesson I had a Mr.

1:53:57Kyle Brandt:Miyagi worst life life advice the kids like to say this take cakes twice in a day yeah worst uh the kids like to say oh shoot your shot like mike yannagia don't shoot that shot yeah

1:54:09Chris Ryan:sometimes you don't shoot your shot take the take the social cues mike yeah yeah don't he even i

1:54:13Kyle Brandt:mean he was deranged i know linda cooksy he was bothering her for a long time booth move was fast but i might have waited yeah but you don't know how long mike's been sitting there drinking doers

1:54:25Chris Ryan:though like maybe he's got a lot of liquid confidence it looks like a doers yeah i saw Dewar's feels like a lunchtime at the Radisson drink.

1:54:31Kyle Brandt:It's that same color of Dewar's. I wrote down Dewar's. That's so funny, Chris.

1:54:35Bill Simmons:Again, to defend Mike, I think when she picks the place and it's a hotel, I think you think you're ready to roll. She answered the phone at 1045. Yeah. She's excited as hell about it. She's dressed up.

1:54:47Kyle Brandt:Another city with the husband at home. She even says, we've been married a long time in the scene. She's a little excited. She wasn't going to do anything, but a little walk on the wild side.

1:54:56Bill Simmons:Yeah. Best double feature choice? No country.

1:55:00Kyle Brandt:8mm I want more Stormare I want more Stormare I got it written down 8mm one of the most intense theater experiences I've ever had terrified in that movie when he's walking through Machine's House

1:55:13Bill Simmons:3mm with Kyle I didn't realize you liked the movie this much we'd have to have Van in it too we're going to be able to do 4 person rewatchables again soon sure

1:55:23Chris Ryan:men's recovery project of guys talking about 8mm again

1:55:28Kyle Brandt:I gotta go back and listen to the first millimeter podcast

1:55:30Bill Simmons:you're gonna see things you won't be able to unsee

1:55:34Kyle Brandt:when he's just looking through his fingers at that shit and it's just rolling on him

1:55:37Bill Simmons:I love that movie what's your double feature? I have a triple raising Arizona, Fargo, no country every 10 years checking with the Coens I think they won the movie too I have them for who won the movie it's a completely original depiction of the world

1:55:56Chris Ryan:you know what I wrote down

1:55:58Kyle Brandt:I wrote down Minnesota oh where'd you go Kyle pre-Randy Moss pre-Joe Maurer pre-Jesse Ventura this Marge Gunderson was like the face of Minnesota early KG KG's on the team but they don't know he's gonna be KG rookie year yeah I don't know I feel like Minnesotans might have a love-hate with this movie because maybe that makes fun of them I think

1:56:17Chris Ryan:I think this movie had like the only dip in its popularity was like any kind of feeling that it was mocking the people it was about and this is a criticism that the Coens get sometimes where it's like, oh, they're making fun of the people that they're depicting. Yeah. But I don't think that's truth. I just think that they see humor in it, you know? It's really funny.

1:56:33Bill Simmons:We're going to throw to Craig, who's not here, but he's going to, because he's at Indianapolis for the combine. Oh, got to be there. Got to be there. He's at St. Elmo's watching the Pats Beat Reporter eat shrimp.

1:56:48Bill Simmons:But Craig's going to weigh in with his take right here.

1:56:51Chris Ryan:All right, fellas, what's up? I am in Indianapolis right now. Not really, but at the time of this taping, I was. So I'm going to respond here in my own little solo video. And I got to say, guys, I know you're not here right now, so you can't respond to me, but guys, screenwriting's dead because what the Coen brothers are able to do with all of their movies, you almost forget how it used to be and how tight things used to be. I looked it up. The Coen brothers have made one movie that came out in theaters that was over two hours long, and it was No Country for Old Men. It was two hours and two minutes.

1:57:24Chris Ryan:outside of that you look at the 80s the 90s and the 2000s Raising Arizona Blood Simple Fargo Burn After Reading True Grit Serious Man all under an hour and 50 minutes so yeah I made me realize screenwriting is dead this is a 98 minute movie and it has everything you need the length makes you want to rewatch it the scenes are tight they do exactly what they need to do and they get out and yet it doesn't feel rushed it never feels rushed so I love Fargo I love the Coen brothers I was a film major in college and I always felt like the Coen brothers were making movies for young people who love movies and they felt like film major movies not in a stuffy way but in an attainable way like everything they do feels real and kind of handpicked and like you can recreate it and like it makes you want to go out and do your own stuff so I've always loved the Coen brothers their movies are always slightly off balance you kind of always watch with your head tilted a little bit and they're really funny dark, twisted, funny all the time all of their movies Also, one of my favorite things about Coen Brothers movies in general, and specifically with Fargo, is the casting.

1:58:34Chris Ryan:Everybody in this movie looks like a real human being. Bill Macy, Buscemi, Francis McDormand, all the way down. John Carroll Lynch, who's been in like four of the last five rewatchables we've done. Peter Stormhill. And keep going. All the way through. They all look like real people. And I just think that makes such a difference. And it's a little different now, the way that things are casted. And half of the side characters we have now need to have 500 ,000 Instagram or TikTok followers to be cast in a movie so that you can market a little bit more. But they all feel like real people. And the person now who I think is doing that similarly is Tim Robinson, who when you watch a show like The Chair Company or his movie Friendship or things like that, everyone in those movies feels real.

1:59:16Chris Ryan:And it's fascinating. And to me, it just, it makes you more invested in the story. So I love the Coen Brothers. I love Fargo. I think the scene where both of the guys are having sex in the motel next to one another, followed by the four of them watching The Tonight Show, is one of the funniest scenes in movie history. So that is my review, five out of five, on Letterboxd. Thanks, guys.

1:59:38Bill Simmons:All right. Thanks, Craig. I can't believe Craig has a thing for a pregnant woman. That's so fucking weird. Why did I say that?

1:59:44Kyle Brandt:I respect it, buddy. Respect it.

1:59:46Bill Simmons:Really hardcore takes from Craig. Send it to Indianapolis and see what happens. That's it. Well, we did it. See our month. Hell yes. We have two in the books. How you feel Chris? We have three movies left

1:59:54Chris Ryan:So far so good Good Yeah You know it's a lot of pressure Are the three movies mapped out? We have a couple mapped out We have three mapped out We know we're ending the month With LA Confidential

2:00:03Bill Simmons:Yes And there's two more That we don't know We're negotiating with each other You got Bud White takes Chris? It's your call I know Yeah we even like Dived out of Netflix We dived out of Netflix for this Yeah So we'll see Find it on other platforms LA Confidential ends the month

2:00:20Kyle Brandt:How about I give you your balls back You Wapcock sucker I fucking love Bud White I'll be listening folks

2:00:34Bill Simmons:watching Gus and Zane back to back it was just an honor to be here Gus is so good I felt like I was at a buffet with Swedish meatballs and chicken fricassee thanks to Gahal and Eduardo as well and CR Month we'll be back next week with a movie we've talked about I think it's the movie we've talked about Should we just say what we're going to do next week? What are we doing next week? Well, we were talking about a certain movie that we'd been talking about for a long time that recently became available. Eddie and the Cruisers? Oh, shit. That's been years. I've just, we got to do it. Words of music, CR.

2:01:09Bill Simmons:All right. Thanks, Kyle. Great to see you. Thanks, CR. Great to be here, Bill.

2:01:22You