‘Pacific Heights’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt

19:37Bill Simmons:No, no, I'm going to dinner And that was it Didn't feel like there was A lot of love in general On this set But Keaton after this It gets a little rocky Like he does Batman, the second one, with Michelle Pfeiffer. Yes. And then, I don't know. It gets a little rocky for a couple years IMDb-wise. Chris, do you like Batman Returns? I'm not the biggest Burton Batman guy. I think the first one's huge for me just because of seeing the theater and the events of it all. But I think it just kind of pales in comparison to the normal ones. Yeah, I don't care for it very much. I just don't think the Penguin thing and all that.

20:14I just don't think it's very good. and then the Schumacher ones came in and destroyed it. Batman Returns, I don't really like to your point, Bill. We're talking Apex Mountain left and right. This is the definition of it for Keaton.

20:24Bill Simmons:Yeah. Melanie Griffith, this is kind of the tail end for her as a leading actress in a movie. We go from Body Double, Something Wild, Working Girl, and then she does Pacific Heights, Bonfire of the Vanities this year, and then that's it. She really paid for Bonfire of the Vanities in a way that maybe Hank's did not. Yeah, and Willis didn't either. Yeah De Palma did though Yep This was The last Stanford And I gotta say She's miscast In this movie But I still like That she's in the movie That It's a miscasting That I actually Really enjoy I don't think She's the right person For the movie And I never really Bought her and Modine But I think that's One of the reasons I like the movie Kyle Even last night My wife and I Were talking about it We were like Would these two be together Does this make sense There's a lot of that So this is my favorite Part about this movie Sometimes we'll watch these films that are set in like the early 90s up until like maybe turn of the century and you're like uh i felt like all of this stuff would be so different now because of technology but there's something perfect about uh a horse instructor a horse riding instructor and a kite maker yeah let's make it work you want to throw 750 down on a victorian you know like i i don't know like how would people vet each other back then how long did you date you know but like they're just two kids like the fuck trying to make it honest.

21:43You know, like it's just, I had this for later. Like,

21:45Bill Simmons:did he feel like the kites were going to take off in the nineties? Dude. I mean, it's like South Korea. It's going nuts right now. Listen, I have it on unanswerable questions. It's like, does he make fucking kites for a living? He does. He's a luxury kite maker. Right now it would be like some douchebag you went to high school with on Facebook. And he's like, bit of personal news, new endeavor, starting a kite company, big things coming. We're thinking IPO in spring of 28. early investors if anyone wants to get out of my kite company so she she's a horse instructor with a bad knee her name yeah yeah an equestrian accident we didn't get to see for some reason even though we got 10 minutes of backstory it's too bad tatum's doctor couldn't work

22:30but maybe get an apartment you're not you're not even married like the the big swing for the victorian it's just an apartment would be fine right maybe you guys get the studio that's the

22:39Bill Simmons:other weird thing about the relationship is like they they're filling out the application it's like marital status they look at each other like single and it's like they don't want to really get married but somehow they went all in on this giant victorian anyway yeah and she says she's pregnant at one point and he doesn't even seem that excited no he just says like congratulations like she just got promoted at work it's like did your kid do fuck face um i have a lot of Drake Goodman thoughts. But yeah, Melanie Griffith, she's at that stage with this where I think she's probably late 20s real life, but in the movie could be anywhere from 25 to 44.

23:16Bill Simmons:I would have believed any age. Whereas Modine seems pretty young still. Like he's in Vision Quest five years earlier after this. Yes. Also, he goes shirtless a couple of times and Modine's still absolutely ripped. Like he looks absolutely great. He's in Vision Quest shape. Two things about their relationship. They kind of look like brother and sister. And if you know that and watch it, it weirds you out. I watched it once a few days ago, and then I did some research, which you probably have, Bill, that they weren't necessarily the best friends on set, and I don't think it went that well. And then I watched the movie again, and it really affects it knowing that they weren't liking each other.

23:48Felt the same way.

23:49Bill Simmons:I watched it, did the research, watched it the second time, and I'm like, oh, yeah. Even when they're doing the renovation scene and she's kind of mounting him, it just felt like, brother, it was like watching the Lannisters. There was a lot more electricity when Keaton's got the nail gun to her head. A little bit more chemistry going on. That's one of the questions of this movie. She has a more interesting relationship with Keaton, who she's in like two scenes with. Yes. But when she's in the scenes with him, I'm like, oh, yeah. Yeah. Now we're going. I don't know. Look, she's iconic in Body Double.

24:22Bill Simmons:She's great in Working Girl. Working Girl. And had a bevy of personal problems. She married Don Johnson two different times. She married Antonio Banderas, and she married Manny from Scarface. It's kind of like us returning to Miami Vice the Series after all these years. Well, I feel like she's like a family member for us. Don Johnson, Stephen Bauer, and Antonio Baderes. They're three husbands. I'm like, I don't know. I kind of dig her. She should be third chair on the big bank. It would just be like, yep, married him. And then Modine playing Drake Goodman, who, I'll just say this now, I think is the biggest dope in all of these From Hell movies.

25:02Bill Simmons:He might be the number one dumbass. Yeah, male or female. I think he's the dumbest. Every decision he makes is wrong. He escalates it. At one point, my wife, who was half-watching as always, just went on a tirade on him. It was almost like you forget you're watching a movie. She's like, why is this guy so fucking stupid? He overreacts to everything. What's wrong with him? Yeah, but I think that's a great characteristic. I think it's an amazing movie character to just be like, oh, this guy is bringing so much grief to himself because he can't control his temper. can you imagine if he was the rewatchables producer the cover is not on the screen yet where is he you told us what are your Jake Goodman thoughts Kyle I have a lot of Jake Goodman thoughts him being the dumbest thing in any of the From Hell movies is bold there's a woman in The Good Son who drops her own son off a cliff in favor of one of the other sons that's a big move but I love there's a really brief scene I know you guys saw it where he shows us a lot of his cards.

26:02And he's a rugby player. He comes in in the rain. He's got that like Blues Clues shirt on. And he's like, sorry, I went to double overtime. Super violent. Most rugby players will be ready to fight and have beers after the game. And really, really dumb. Like my favorite part of the From Hell movies is not when the From Hell people go bad. It's when they're buttering up their marks. And the two scenes that Keaton has with Modine, and then it's a very different one with Patty. And Modine just sees a few hundred bucks and he's like, I don't give a shit. Your private trust? Great. Total idiot. Whereas Melanie Griffith is actually really smart in this movie.

26:40Bill Simmons:Yeah, she does, Keaton does a lot of stuff in that scene which is going to be coming up for most rewatchables. It's like, so you bought this? Who'd you buy this with? Are you guys married? It's your first one? Yeah. Like he's just like pulling information from him. So good. And stupid ass Drake Goodman who just sees a wallet full of$2 ,900 which by the way he doesn't give to him. Nope. Because he's like, I can give you this now or I can wire you all of it next week. Anytime somebody's like I could wire it to you next week like I'm out. I'm like hey how about you how about you sign the lease and we could From my bank in San Antonio?

27:12Bill Simmons:What? Yeah I'm good. What was the San Antone Tropic Thunder? What is he saying then? Oh we're gonna get some crawfish. Crawfish in San Antone. Yeah. Yeah so Drake Goodman professional luxury kite maker. One of the dumbest landlords of all time. Terrible boyfriend. Not excited at all for the pregnancy right away. Wins the fight. Amateur alcoholic? Yeah, definitely put down five beers. He hammers beers. He hammers them. At one point, he gets in a fight with Keaton. They go through the glass door, gets in some punches, and then Melanie Griffith comes out. And all of a sudden, he's like a five-year-old kid.

27:56Bill Simmons:He collapses in her arms. It's like, oh, I'm sorry. It's like, what are you, in kindergarten? You just fought the school bully? Just a complete mess. He has all the traits of a spoiled rich kid, except he's not rich. So what good is he? You're right. The more you watch it, the less you like him. This was kind of the Modine, you know, he would be these quirky characters. Like Vision Quest, super quirky. I love that movie. I love him in that movie. I think he's great. So do I. But like just, there's a quirkiness about him. Like he's like wide-eyed. Yeah, it's off kilter. There's been nobody like him, right?

28:28Bill Simmons:I can't think of another actor who... I can't think of another actor now who is like as offbeat as him yet put in the lead role. You know what I mean? It's like usually that guy will be like, I don't know, like the Crispin Glover kind of like, oh, he's the comic relief for the weird buddy. The weird one. He's often like the main character. He was a leading man. He always seems, and I just think because he looks young, he always seems three years too young for whatever role he's in. and Full Metal Jacket was that kind of work to his advantage. But he does Birdie, Vision Quest, Full Metal Jacket, Gross Anatomy.

29:03Bill Simmons:He's like considered to be one of the, you know, one of the best up and coming actors. Yeah. And he's so good in Full Metal Jacket precisely because the way he's delivering his lines and the way everybody in that movie is kind of talking is like, you're like, what is going on? Hey, Joker. We haven't done that one yet. And then after this, he does Wind with Jennifer Grey. Oh, I like that movie. A little sailing movie. I'm not familiar with wind. That's an America's Cup movie. Sailing movie. You'd be familiar if you surf around on Tubi. I do. I do. I'm a white squall guy when it comes to sailing.

29:34Bill Simmons:And then my favorite Modine other than Vision Quest, I like white squall, is in the band played on the HBO movie about when the AIDS thing developed. And he has a great stand-up screaming everybody's speech in that movie. How much is enough? I know. How many bodies do we have to bury? but it's really good. With Timmy, when he goes on tilt, you really feel it and enjoy it. What's your Modine, like when you see Modine, what are your thoughts? Because we grew up with him. I don't have any. You probably think the guy from Dark Knight, right? The lieutenant or whatever? Yeah, he comes back. Stranger Things?

30:08Unfortunately, it's Stranger Things, which is probably pathetic, but he has like a, there's almost like a Krasinski vibe to him when he's young. He's like, that's a great one.

30:18Bill Simmons:That's who his comp is now. He could have existed in a sitcom. His style of acting I think almost would work that way. Like Scrubs instead of Zach Raff. Yeah, I think he could have done something like that. Good one. Do you think he should have put on 50 pounds of muscle like Krasinski? Or he could have been like Jason Segel a little bit. Yeah. Like I see him in Shrinking kind of. He's framed. He's built like a swimmer in this movie. He's like so broad and long. Top to bottom. Huge.

30:42Bill Simmons:He could have been a superhero. A couple things about Modine that I find very interesting. Offered Maverick and Top Gun. Offered that before Tom Cruise. Turned it down. and has talked about it since because he disagreed vehemently with the film's Cold War politics. Sure, I get it. Yeah. Which I think, I get it. I see it. It's just hilarious that four years later he's in Pacific Heights. He's like, I don't agree with the Cold War politics, but tenant rights, it's a passion. He plays the defense secretary in Sicario Day of the Soldado. So I think he's loosened up a little bit. Is that true? Where he asks Josh Brolin to kidnap a cartel king's daughter.

31:25So changed his mind there.

31:29Bill Simmons:His interviews are really great. He really offers a lot. This was from 1990 LA Times. Now I feel like he's going to come at us. I like Modine. I don't want him to be mad at us. That's fine. I like him too. I feel like he's a friend. It's like how I'd make fun of Joe House. Modine Sunday nights with Bill. Yeah, he'll do some Sunday nights with us. Maybe he could come on and do a next thing with you. I would love it. I like Modine Here's what he says Say it one more time I think everybody Will believe me I feel like you grew up With Modine But like he came up together I did He's like family It's like a cousin You're up there on that I was like bored with him I like Bobby I get it The reason I was interested In Pacific Heights Was that we as a society Call ourselves civilized And we live together In community In that community We make rules Where we say We won't take advantage Of each other We won't think That another individual Is taking advantage of us We try to get them The benefit of the doubt And there's always some kind of person or group who takes advantage of the goodness and kindness of the society.

32:27Bill Simmons:And then he goes into talking about divers in Acapulco. Really? Yeah. I think he'd be an incredible podcast. I bet. Very eloquent, thoughtful. We're active on Twitter. He was just recently tweeting about the pegboard scene was real in Vision Quest. I love that. He did it. And it was a really cool backstory. He'll tell the stories. He's out there. This movie was written by Daniel Pine, based the screenplay on several stories he heard from tenants in San Francisco pre-internet. And then it was directed by John Schlesinger. Yeah. Who, this was the tail end of the career here. Yeah, but he did our beloved Marathon Man.

33:02Bill Simmons:He did. Yeah. Did Sunday Bloody Sunday. Midnight Cowboy. He did Midnight Cowboy way, way back when. Falcon and the Snowman. This is not America. No. This is not. And he did The Believers. I will say that for Schlesinger, this movie has, I mean, Sam Peckinpah did Straw Dogs in the 70s. But this has like some roots in like some of those 70s movies you would see where it was like nerdy couple get taught a lesson about the real world by world outlaws kind of thing. This is a little bit different. It's like more of like a sociopathic con man. But it's still like two people starting their lives thinking like, let's just take the plunge and buy a 750 ,000 Victorian.

33:46and Carter Hayes teaches him.

33:48Bill Simmons:There's some good directing moments in this movie though. Like even when Carter Hayes is going to check back in the hotel and they're like, you know, credit cards, they want work, and your wife, and the camera's like going around him and the chancellor from 90210 for like, it's really, really good. That guy, the dad from Risky Business. But it's some good craftsmanship. The only thing I wanted to mention that I think is important is this is like right in the yuppie era. This is, we've talked about it. Is this late yuppie? Yeah, it's late yuppie. It's because they filmed this in 89. So we're talking, we talked about during the Wall Street podcast of, you know, greed is good.

34:31Bill Simmons:Let's try to make a buck. It's Reagan's the president. It's how do I become rich? How do I turn a profit? And this is like them trying to buy this building. It's not like they restored the building, but they restore it just because it's a chance to maybe make some money from it. And the ending is really interesting when there's this other couple that comes in and they want to buy it. It's like, well, it's$900 ,000 now and they're going to turn it in. But it was kind of the mentality back then. And I don't think it's the mentality now. So if you're in your 20s and you're watching this now, Craig, yeah, you'd be like, what the fuck's wrong with these people?

35:07The idealism back then was just much more pure than it is now. We're just too cynical now. you know well it was everyone was told you you you will buy a house and then it's an airtight investment and then you will live in it for a long time and then make a ton of money when you sell it and you're guaranteed that and that's what they're doing here did you guys like when the that last scene you're talking about bill when that by the way that guy's of that guy's the dad from friday night lights um did you find yourself doing the math a lot in this movie like i was trying to figure out the finances like did they put three percent down i don't know back then you could put zero down.

35:42Bill Simmons:You could, like, I've never heard of somebody buying a house for$750 ,000 but then living month to month with the rent. It's like, if we miss one month rent, we could lose this whole thing. It's like, I'm not sure how that works when you buy a house. We'll just fudge the numbers a bit. Everybody does it. Yeah. Yeah. And then they sell it at the end. We don't know, but maybe somewhere in the high 800s and they paid mid-sevens, put at least$50 ,000 into it. Like, they make money for sure, but it's not, it's not great. It's not walk-away money. Yeah. No. retirement money. Weird times. 102 minutes, Greg.

36:13Bill Simmons:Not bad. Right there. That's awesome. You feel it. It just flies by. For sure. I could have actually used maybe two more scenes. I could have used a little bit more Beverly D 'Angelo. Oh, let's go. Come on. What's going on with Ann? Honestly, I could have used a rugby scene. There you go. You need a rugby scene. I could have watched Modine playing rugby in the mud. I could have used a lot more Greg. You know, the guy who's helping him destroy the apartment. Oh, yeah. I could have used a little sexual tension scene between Keaton and Griffith. I wonder if they shot that and left it on the cutting room floor.

36:40Where like he touches her hand, they look at each other for a moment. He intuitively understands her pain from losing her child. We needed something there to be like, ooh, is there a little bit there?

36:48Bill Simmons:I had this for later in the movie. I think the movie's missing. He goes heel immediately, right? He's in the house. All of a sudden, the weird guy's in there. Yeah, Carter's in Seattle. There's no scene where he's kind of charming them. And he's like, hey, I brought you guys a glass of wine. Well, why don't we have it together? And then they have a glass of wine. He's got a... Moody goes to the bathroom. He kind of looks at her legs. Like, wait, we're just missing that. That's right. Like, just a, you know, leg shot. Just kind of salivating a little bit. $18 million budget made$55 million, Kyle Brandt.

37:21$55 million, and it was all worth it. I have to revisit something that Chris just said. You imagine you go to this movie, and you buy a ticket, and you get an idea what it's about. All right, it's Michael Keaton. It's something to do with real estate. You sit down, and in the first 60 seconds, you're like, holy shit is this Ellen Griswold's boobs in my face what the hell is this uncredited Beverly D 'Angelo out of the clouds with full like full nude like all-timer you must have been blown away in the theater watching that I was re-watching it I had in a what's age the best um top I know you did top 10 sure yes actresses we've had yes it's like hey Beverly you know we can't decide

38:05Bill Simmons:PG-13 or R. Do you just want to film one take where we go for it? Sure. Let's go. If it's okay with Michael. It's also one of the earliest ever moments in a movie for the okay motherfucker like we're going to kick this up a notch and what's so great about that is that that's Pacino saying okay motherfucker and eventually he was in on that. Right. That's true. They had a kid together. They sure did. Yeah. I googled I Googled, I was thinking this should be a category, things I Google as I'm prepping the rundown for rewatchables. But I Googled Beverly D 'Angelo nude scenes because I couldn't remember how many times she had dabbled.

38:50Bill Simmons:On that iPad or this iPad? No, it was on this iPad. And all this research came up of her nude scene in Vacation, which apparently she was like, fuck it, I'll do it. And there was this whole story about Anthony Michael Hall getting in trouble because he tried to sneak onto the set. When she was doing Aaron Newton. Which I don't think came up in our research when we did rewatchables initially. And then they had to kick him off the set because he was basically 14 years old. Like filming Porky's? Yeah. He tried to watch through people. Roger Ebert, two stars. You know who's not a fan of From Hell Month?

39:24Bill Simmons:The late Roger Ebert. He really finds these movies pretty stupid. Yeah, he just detests these movies. Pacific Heights is a horror film for yuppies. in which the bad guy uses the axe to attack your three-flat, not you. The thing is that I could easily see this being the premise of the Hitchcock movie. I mean, even down to the setting. But the idea of being terrorized in your own house seems like something that was ready-made for him. And then Roger would be like, ah, the master. I never much liked the young couple or believed they liked each other. There you go. And I didn't see enough of Keaton in the early stages of the movie because he was always behind a closed door.

39:58Bill Simmons:Fair criticism. That is true. I was going to do this later I'll do it now this would have been a great De Palma movie yes for sure I think you ramp up the sexuality all the way through I think you recast Melanie Griffith or Tower just can you go into body double mode he would be doing all this stuff like going between walls yeah yeah it's like Drake and Patty are humping Carter's listening you know there's definitely a Carter sneaks in and is watching when they're having sex scene yeah Carter makes Anne come over but calls her Patty it's just like It would be so twisted. All kinds of shit. I would take that and I would just go one notch higher with Fincher and then it's getting really dark.

40:38Oh, like panic room. I don't know if I can handle Fincher with the roaches. I just think he would do something really gross.

40:45Bill Simmons:We're going to take a break. We're going to come back with most rewatchable scenes and I had a surprising amount of them. This episode is brought to you by the Active Cash credit card from Wells Fargo. That's a mouthful but that's because it packs a lot in. Earn unlimited 2 % cash rewards on purchases with it, big or small. So whether it's buying tickets to the game and grabbing a coffee, it earns unlimited 2 % cash rewards on purchases. Say it with me. The active cash credit card from Wells Fargo. Be a two percenter. Learn more at wellsfargo.com forward slash active cash. Terms apply. This episode is brought to you by Netflix.

41:21Bill Simmons:The T-Mobile Home Run Derby is right around the corner. Might be one of the best showcases of pure power in all sports. Baseball's. Biggest sluggers, along with some legendary announcers. Pujols, Rizzo, Bonds, Sabathia, Al Duncan. Yeah. Hunter Pence, Matt Faskersian, a whole bunch of people. And it's the one night where you don't swing to make contact. You swing to make history. I'm interested to see what Bond says about this, actually. Anyway, it is all live from Citizens Bank Park in Philly. Watch the T-Mobile Home Run Derby live on Netflix, Monday, July 13th at 8 p.m. Eastern, 5 p.m. Pacific.

42:01Bill Simmons:Most rewatchable scene. Kyle mentioned the sheer thrill of seeing Mrs. Griswold getting it on a minute in this movie. Congrats to her. Bill, one year after Christmas vacation, in which she spends the entire Christmas Eve with this center-cut, bosom-busting thing, and you're like, God, she's so attractive and cool. Ten seconds into the movie, just lying around naked. The 13-year-old me went crazy. Loved it. Also, she's just covered in her own cigarette smoke. Just smoking and wearing a kimono the entire movie. coming out of her nostrils constantly. It's almost like she's wearing a reverse oxygen mask or something.

42:34Bill Simmons:Just spitting out smoke. Most of the watchful scene. I love a good house renovation scene going right into a super awkward rental scene with a prospective black tenant. Have you ever done... That's really, really interesting from a 1990 perspective. For sure. And then winds up being a real good... Really, really interesting. Chekhov's black tenant. But have you ever done your own demo work? No. What are you talking about? I'm just curious. Sledgehammer, gloves. If you've ever gotten the hammer out. Look at these hands. No. Chris, have you? No. I've never owned. Look at these baby soft hands. These hands are as soft as a baby's bottom.

43:14Bill Simmons:I thought Chris may be that place where you guys stopped paying rent. Yeah. You used to have calluses here. That's it. I thought I didn't know if back in Boston or your first LA house, you were like, yeah, let's take this wall down. No. Let's open this place up a little. I didn't think that. That's a no. I'm sorry, I just get the run around so much. Felt bad for that guy. Yeah, Carl Lumber. I thought he was also Carl Lumber. Maybe a little too aggro initially, but I get it. You widened out of that place. Also, I'm not putting it under the door. My lease application. It's in a Manila envelope, attention, whatever.

43:51Drake and Patty could have just been a little bit more on the same page about who was handling applications and who was doing what.

43:56Bill Simmons:They weren't on the same page in this entire movie. Kyle mentioned this scene already. Keaton comes in, asks a bunch of questions. This is your first place. How about if I pay$2 ,000 now? Actually, I'll wire you everything from my bank in San Antonio. It works like a speed bag in this scene. Bank in San Antonio. I know. It sounds so made up. There's twin scenes. He works the idiot, Drake, and then he gets the smart girl. He's doing that thing where he's like, did you pick out these light fixtures? Then there's this shot where he gives her a quick up and down in the body. and he's like, you've got great taste.

44:29It's a great scene. I love that one.

44:32Bill Simmons:I work for a private trust. I don't really have a traditional kind of credit. Sure. This is up there. What? I was thinking about like... Who would buy this? How stupid do you have to be? Maybe he had CTE from the rugby? This is a very like, what's the most 1990 thing? But like, it's the idea of being like, I work for a private trust. It's based in San Antonio. You're not going to get a usual credit history. It's up there with like, I'd love to do this, but I just have to move some money around. Sure, yeah, take out your phone and move the money around Motherfucker, come back when that money's moved To me it sounds like She lives in Canada, I met her at Niagara Falls I thought the same thing, like what's the Mount Rushmore of Yeah, you wouldn't know her Ever lay anybody around here?

45:15Bill Simmons:He says, I'm always running into this problem, you know Yeah, I bet you are Carter Hayes What do we think about Carter Hayes and Drake Goodman as names? I think they're supposed to be anonymous because Danforth keeps moving through identities. So I think it's an easy name to replicate and to get. What ringer podcast would Carter Hayes host? Oh, straight lacrosse, dude. That's an AI lax name right there if I ever heard one. It's like, we've gotten rid of Danny Heifetz in the fantasy football show. We've replaced him with Carter Hayes and Drake Goodman. If Carter Hayes started doing some town episodes.

45:55Bill Simmons:He's a billionaire now. this is my favorite scene in the movie and just because it makes me laugh so hard it immediately turns you against Drake Goodman for the rest of the movie and he becomes the bad guy when they're talking about Mr. Baker how he came in the perspective black tenant and he goes I don't know maybe he's one of those minority scam artists that was a weird agro-racist term is this a new category for us the Drake Goodman Award for most unexpected casual racism No, no, it's not a racial thing. It's common sense. Sure. That guy is so psyched to vote for Bush. What was that, Kyle? He almost catches himself saying, I have a lot of black friends, honey.

46:37Like, it's right there. To be fair, he does. His only friend is black. He does. That's true. Yeah. That's true.

46:43Bill Simmons:It's weird because he's both racist, but they're renting the other apartment to a Japanese couple, and his only friend is black. So why are you being a racist? It's just bizarre. Drake Goodman racist kite maker

47:01that should be a new character in the impressions sorry you'll never get one of these kites yeah I don't trust this guy he's Mexican I'm just a kite maker I just call him like I see it

47:16Bill Simmons:we need him on a world cup show Drake Goodman in the first Sicario finding him would be like finding a vaccine for a disease I was even at a World Cup show Ecuador typical That's just basically Alexi Wallace

47:35Bill Simmons:It kind of is Carter somehow gets into the place Is my next rewatchable scene This is tough Because this is where they gave him An inch of daylight and he just said Did they? Well because that's the great thing Did he sign the lease? I guess he did. He says he signed the lease, but he's obviously not paid. He immediately changes the locks. He got in because somebody opened the door, but their mistake was not locking the lower apartment. They're just so disorganized. They got people moving in. They have money problems. We need this guy. They don't have anybody watching the till. Yeah, he went to double overtime.

48:16There's a lot going on. The kites are running behind schedule. There was an intense scrum he was a part of.

48:21Bill Simmons:I wanted to see her if she ran like the equestrian club like this. There's just little kids riding on horses away from someplace in Malibu or whatever.

48:33Bill Simmons:Hayes in the garage. We go from he barely gets in to he's in Seattle to now he's just smoking a cigarette in the dark in the garage. Again, I feel like we're missing a scene, but I think this is a really good flip in the razor blades. It's like, okay. And this is 22 minutes into the movie. It's like, all right. We're not even going to play the game and pretend we're buddies here. We're just going for it. I looked for you guys. He's smoking that cigarette in the car with the windows off, too. Yes. It's full psycho. He doesn't care. Yeah, that might as arguably the most sociopathic thing he did in the movie.

49:09Bill Simmons:In a small Porsche coupe, too. That ain't invented. Because that car's going to fucking stink for 10 years after that. Just keeping roaches in jars is pretty nuts as well. Yeah, that's pretty nuts. Next rewatchable scene He changed the locks Look I can handle this Patty I know This is where my wife I wrote down her quote He's acting very irrational and it's bothering me That was a direct quote from my wife Yeah Patty needed to take the con here She needed to take over Patty needed to give him the Vito Corleone You can act like a man Just like shake his shirt he's just a mess at this point next one cockroaches which leads to Drake climbing under the apartment at the perfect time where we get to hear the entire plot of the movie thanks to our two bad guys they're just doing a podcast about their heist they're doing you brought me in on this the cats in there there's cockroaches that fall in the head probably Modine's best moment in the movie those are 20 live cockroaches getting dropped this is right when the cat gets taken you and I have shared that in the 90s, earlier decades in American history, we had a little bit more of a transient, like kind of a flippant relationship to house pets.

50:26Yeah. This is what we mean. You know, like when it's just like, ah, you just get another cat. When he tells Patty they have our cat, she's just like, too bad.

50:34Bill Simmons:Doesn't give a shit. Honestly, I was going to have Mallory as our fourth and I just feel like she would have spent an hour and a half talking about the cat. Yeah. I just don't understand. They would have its own Instagram account. He's a member of the family. We travel with it. Yeah. But he takes those bugs to the face like a champ. I like that. He really does. It reminds me of Kate Capshaw in Temple of Doom gets bugs and centipedes all over her. It's like that. It's a good cool moment. What if you had to say more impressive to you, the pegs in Vision Quest going all the way up or the 20 cockroaches on the face, what impressed you more from Modine?

51:13The cockroaches to the face is like a bad Joe Rogan fear factor episode. that pegboard I couldn't do that thing even when I was in high school I think it's the pegboard by far that thing is very hard very hard yeah

51:23Bill Simmons:incredible stuff by Modine he's a fucking legend um Carter brings the flowers over after making the police call just to get his ass kicked goes through the front door we get a cry hug after Drake does the beating and then we get the lawyer going this is what he wanted game over Drake loses she's just giving them the basics at all time God help us if this becomes personal Oh, man. So good. Fight scene. Any thoughts, Kyle? I do. Yeah, I have some thoughts. First of all, I had this on unanswerable questions. Incredible job baiting the hook with the preemptive police call. What is Carter's play if Goodman doesn't take the bait?

52:03In other words, he's mad, but he's not beating him up. Do you just keep kind of riding him? And do you have some burners? This is the thread that if you pull at this, yes. I mean, my unanswerable questions are similarly based on Kyle. But like, I don't know what he does if Drake's just like, okay, well, I tried. You know, like.

52:19Bill Simmons:Now, see, I think he studied this man, this idiot, Drake Goodman, for weeks on end. He saw him get excited by just the sight of$3 ,000. This is like Brunson in game five with Wemby. Just like, I've solved this seven foot six for you. I've got it. I'm just going to beat him off the dribble. He's going to buy every fake I have, and then I'm going to score on him anyway. I think he knew what was going to happen. heavy artillery ready to some sound bites or maybe some gestures. He was going to get him to punch him one way or another. Once he found out about the rugby, he's like, this guy's going to punch me.

52:50Bill Simmons:This guy plays rugby on Sundays. He could just be like, rugby, it's not a real sport. God damn it! Every rugby player is just a failed football player, right, Drake? And then the punches would start. Drake gets shot? Yeah. This was a whoa. I like the camera too where Keaton comes, Keaton turns off the lights and he's in the background. Great shot. Do you think... I had this for unanswerable. Do you think he meant to kill him or just hurt him? No, I think he meant to maim him. Because I think the entire point is that he wants to take his identity or what? The first con is supposed to be I will basically get this house as payment for the debts that they're going to owe me.

53:32Right? The civil complaint that I have. And then he's just going to sell the house for nothing. And make like whatever the profit is for that. But then I think as it goes on, it becomes more of an identity theft thing. What do you think, Kyle? Well, I think, yeah, he shoots him by accident and then he plants the crowbar. But I'm glad Chris said that because I think even watching it now as an adult, it's a little hazy exactly what Carter's endgame is. I've watched it and I'm like, what is the plan? He strips the apartment and I think maybe he sells all the light fixtures and the tile or something.

54:06Yeah, I think for him, it's like all cash business. I just need moving around money but I don't know that he is like this score will set me up like I think he's addicted to like being on the run and addicted to this kind of terror

54:18Bill Simmons:I have the answers what do you got? he destroys the place because he's a fucking sociopath who smokes cigarettes with the windows up in his car he fully intends to win a civil suit against Drake and get the house yeah but not like then start at life there he's gonna flip it no he's gonna flip it and move to the next city right yeah there's just like way easier ways of making$200 ,000 definitely you have to get the shit kicked out of you like look at Patty she's a fucking equestrian teacher do something fly some kites Patty's seen that Carter destroyed the place yeah she's really upset about it it's a good scene all of her light pictures it's Melanie Griffith's best work in the movie followed by her meeting the tenant that she didn't rent to because her boyfriend is a casual racist.

55:10Bill Simmons:My favorite part of the movie, Patty spies on Carter for the day and somehow gets into his hotel room. This 15, 10 minutes, whatever it is. I wish there was like three more things like this. Honestly, this could have been the whole movie. Yeah. She does like the full Kevin McAllister. I'm just going to order everything to room service. Give me the Caesar, creme brulee. She's like having a shopping spree. And as your audience, you've been waiting for 90 minutes for this. it's very satisfying you know what they Craig's nodding happily I know that he loves this part best scene in the movie this is easily the most rewatchable scene the whole thing with the maid that like I do find it a little ridiculous that Carter keeps his entire biography and newspaper clippings in his suitcase well we've learned in From Hellmuth that everybody does yeah that was Fatal Attraction created it and now that if you're in From Hellmuth you have to keep the scrapbook but you know what it reminded me of was Jean Triplehorn's move in The Firm where she goes down to the Caymans with Avery yeah and like I thought it would have been great if Patty was like Carter you're the fucking man take me with you on your next score and like tried to seduce him a little bit but you know basically was always just trying to build a case against him yeah that's for the Apple scripted series that's gonna happen from this I learned that from this scene the maid always lets you in in any movie if you try this in real life they're like I'm sorry sir I can't do that you're gonna have to go back down her excuse is like I can't get into my room.

56:34Bill Simmons:It's like, you're in the 10th floor. Just go down and get a fucking key. The maid always falls for her to the movies. What is with her leaving, then taking back, then leaving a little bit of cash for the maid? Is she trying to decide how much Carter owes her versus the maid? I think she was like, I'll do a good deed for this lady. And then she's like, oh yeah, we're broke. I'm about to lose my house. I do think that's it, which is such a weird thing to add. She's like, well, I don't want to give the maid all of the money. What is she going to do with it? She's a good person. yeah bill this is like this is one of those things that happens in movies and not in real life like when you go into a bar and say i'll have a beer that you have to say the name of the beer i recently had this in a hotel like six months ago where i was locked out and i asked the maid i was like can you please let me in here's my id here's everything and this lady was going to war she no matter what i said she would not let me in it's just maybe it happened in 1999 any hotel is gonna be like you're fired if you let it you gotta go downstairs i don't have i can't i can't let you I know I like that I like when people go nuts in a bad guy's hotel room which he does when they flip out the scrapbook of his evil work is especially good it's probably the best scrapbook we've had yeah there's perfectly cut newspaper clippings hey here's what I lost out the family's name to my brother it's just like so weird because it's like if you're Carter it's not like you've forgotten what you've done right you have all these pictures here's me and my twin brother and a chimpanzee yeah yeah that's probably when he started losing his mind and also listen you have um tom sizemore calls guys slick in prison changing the entire plot of the movie and you have danforth unlocks the entire thing come on he left the scrap back with his real name on the back in the middle of the trash departments that's like the slick equivalent here i like when she takes the chocolate.

58:22Yeah.

58:23Bill Simmons:Oh, she earned that chocolate. That whole scene is just great. Then the final fight scene. You crossed the line. Yeah. The nail gun. Very scary. Call back to the nail gun. Very scary. It just had stopped working for her. And then we get the Alan Rickman. There's Bruce Willis right there. Bruce Willis staring at CR. Just staring him down. We get the fall backwards. even though he's just in a kitchen. Yeah. Going backwards. Just put your hands behind you. Our guy Matthew Modine, another interview he did, 2024. What's he got now? Come on. I think the movie would have made a load more money if at the end, when Michael Keaton fell in the spikes, if he'd started to pull himself up and I'd reached up from where I was below him and pulled him back down onto them because he shot me, he's beaten me in the golf club, he's ruined my life, he's destroyed my apartment.

59:20Bill Simmons:The audience really wanted my character, Drake Goodman, to get one back at him. To be fair to him, man, I all do respect Matthew Mardine. Go on. Do you think anyone in the history of movie going would be like, yeah, it was a pretty good movie until the very end when Drake Goodman finally double impales him and everybody's like, I gotta go out and see that for myself. I would make a load more money because of that. I think more people would have wanted Drake Goodman to die at the end of the movie. I wish he had died from the golf club beating. I hate Drake Goodman. Yeah. I guess I should say this now.

59:56My weak link of the film, I think Carter's death is fucking horrible. I think the whole scene is so lame. You do get Chekhov's nail gun, but you don't get that killed with it. And can we just, can we walk through what Drake's plan was here? He's just been beaten with a golf club and his bullet wounds. He's going to go underneath the room in the chance that there's some glory hole he can reach through and do a Brazilian leg lock to trip him. Yes. And that final shot is like something that Nordberg would do. It looks ridiculous. I think that last scene is bad. It's the worst part

1:00:29Bill Simmons:of the movie. I agree. They didn't know how to end it. I also think he's kind of holding onto his leg and Keaton's looking down. Just kick your leg. Yeah. Stop his fingers. He's really injured. Yeah. Just like hurt his arm. Keaton's like, whoa! As though he had to react. It's like they shot Keaton thinking he was going to fall out a window. But then the actual reality is he just falls under the floor. It would have been better if he just put his hand up and tripped him. And then he fell face first on the thing. He fell through the floor down to Modine or something. It would have been amazing. Imagine Hans Gruber, instead of falling 50 stories, just fell down on the ground and died.

1:01:07That's what it is. What if Drake was hiding underneath the floor and then he just lets a kite out at the last second. Oh, yeah. He's got a kite with razor blades on it. I'm always upset that nobody says anything in this final moment. Yeah, I know. Like, he's alive. Carter's alive for 20 seconds staring at you. Like, that's when you get in your line. That's when you put a cockroach on his face. Or you gotta just be like, you're evicted. Yeah. Yes.

1:01:31Bill Simmons:We've rejected you. Your rent is past due. Yeah. Say goodbye to that security deposit asshole. It's perfect. Honey, call the angry black guy. We have a vacancy.

1:01:49Bill Simmons:Hotel Room is the best scene. That's the most rewatchable. No brainer. What's the most 1990 thing about this movie, Kyle Brandt? You know, sometimes when you're just lying on the couch, riddled with bullet wounds, you just need to bang out some Soundgarden on MTV and just turn it the fuck up and it'll just take you where you need to go. He's so self-satisfied and that's just like, I'm just cozy. Yeah. And it's just, it's rocking out early Soundgarden. It's this song called Hands All Over. It's metal as hell. He should be watching like Price is Right or something like now MTV Soundgarden, like turned up to 11.

1:02:27It makes me so happy.

1:02:28Bill Simmons:yeah an mtv video of a grunge song that they probably wouldn't have played in 1989 or 1990 i'm guessing i think that one's playing what's your favorite just all the banking and tenant application stuff waiting for wire transfers um and then also this has now become a tenant of uh from hell movies letters of reference again it's just like hey i have this letter of reference well it's airtight we better just get this guy in the apartment well how about how Here's a phone number of my previous landlord. Yeah. It's just some lady having a cigarette. Yeah, Carter's great. Yeah, I had to give him money just to be here.

1:03:05You don't have an address for him, do you? That's a red flag. I also had Drake being kind of blown away by Carter having a car alarm. Oh, yeah. That was really impressive. He's just like, whoa. He dunked on him. Are you from the future?

1:03:23Bill Simmons:I had buying a huge San Francisco three-story house for$750 ,000 although$1.9 million adjusted for today's money Ebert calling this a horror film for yuppies anyone working for a designer kite company I feel like that has to specifically be 1989 or 90 that's real like Earth Day kind of vibes we're just going to go outside to the park not being able to Google your bad guy tenant. I'm just going to check out this Carter Hayes, see if there's anything online. And then Melanie's haircut. Yeah. Come on. Come on, Bill. You waited long enough. Let's do it. It's very specific to that 89-90. I want some life in it.

1:04:08Bill Simmons:It's like a bob. My wife kind of liked it, but it's kind of a bob. I don't know if it exists two years later. I think she goes shorter. Yeah. and it's just very specific to that era and I don't know why or her clothes in general are very late 80s 1990-ish I'm so excited this is my favorite category the Floyd Gondali butter on my ass lollipops in my mouth award for something I just enjoy I'll go first okay I love in movies like this when people do over the top rich guy stuff and it's like the most cliched rich guy thing you could possibly do. In this case, Carter Hayes, I know his next score, picks up the wealthy lady in this giant mansion.

1:04:54Bill Simmons:What are we going to do? An idea. I'm going to put a sweater over my shoulders. I have a yacht, a little three-hour yacht trip, and let's drink some champagne and just seem super rich together. But nobody on the planet does this in real life. Not one. In a movie, though, great. Champagne, yacht trip. Captain, take us out. Woo! I've got my sweater around my shoulders. Hold on, I'm going to make sure my sweaters. Nobody does this, Kyle. They definitely had lobster and caviar, too. No question. That's what you do back in the day. Lifestyles of the rich and famous. No question. What's yours? That's a great, great pull.

1:05:27First of all, I haven't thought about anything for the last five minutes than ways that Carter Hayes could suffer a kite death. That's all I want in life. I feel like maybe there could have been a key or something, like Benjamin Franklin, another famous kiter. That's all I want was a kite death. Floyd Gondoli, things I just enjoy. I really enjoy Orkin's presence in this movie. Very good. Bob, the sidekick of the Joker in the Batman movie, shows up and built, this is probably in half-assed internet. The Orkin company sued in how they were portrayed in this movie because I have this vision that there's like a VP of marketing who goes to the CEO and is like, sir, I really think we should write the check for this Matthew Modine movie.

1:06:08I think we want to be in it. They go to the premiere. They're sitting there like, here's the scene, here's the roaches, here it comes. and then it's this idiot, bumbling, Barney Fife moron. Yeah, who's like, I guess I have to step on him. They're coming from next door. They can't do anything. And then I feel like the Orkin people went to the premiere and at the after party, they were at the same table as the Marriott people and the Marriott people were like, this movie was great. We love how we were portrayed. The front desk guy, the room service guy. Yeah. The manager with all the balls to stand up to the, we love it.

1:06:36And the Orkin people were furious. That gives me great amusement. It's pretty good. It is, yeah. What was that guy? Tracy Walter he's in Repo Man he's in Batman yeah

1:06:46Bill Simmons:he's in Sounds of the Lambs performing an autopsy he's been around oh that's right yeah he's one of those guys what do you have oh just any movie where a car pulls up to the top of the hill in San Francisco as it's going home it's just like those shots of those hills are just always like this movie can be about anything what's age the best other than anyone asking a trusty maid to let them into a hotel room that is nurse always works i always get excited when it happens it never can happen in real life what do you have for what's the best kyle i already kind of mentioned that patty is just so much smarter than drake i like that yeah and he's like a total dick to her and she just sees over it and then on the same related note uh i just want to give some respect to melanie griffith's jeans in this movie they're like the fourth lead of the film they're they're i mean they're up to her armpits they're belted they're frosted i can't take my eyes off them her final shot in the movie is up the stairs walking.

1:07:41It's just fantastic. And I love her genes in this movie. G-E-N-E-S and J-E-N-S. That's right. I would say, I would say she's the best. Probably just the idea of like the beta trying to fight the alpha. Like Drake being pit against a guy who has everything that he doesn't and everything comes more easily to that guy. A rugby beta? Yeah, a rugby beta with a con man alpha. So I really enjoyed that.

1:08:06Bill Simmons:I have music by Hans Zimmer. Hell yeah. Hans is like, yeah, I'm not doing anything that week. I could whip something together. Evil Tenet movie? Okay, I'll work on it. Casual rental racism, coming back to burn a landlord. Yeah. So what's age the best? Scrapbook with someone's evil past. I had for another Beverly D 'Angelo nude scene, it's like Devin Hester with kickoff touchdowns. It's like, he did it again? 98 yards? And this was like the Super Bowl because he does it on the first play, like right out of the gate. and Jim Nance can't believe it. He's gone. How many times can he do this? You don't kick to Hester.

1:08:45Bill Simmons:Oh, that's great. Bev smoking ahead for UCR. Yeah. A positive spin for the most part of being a landlord. Usually landlords in movies are evil people. They're evil landlords, yes. As characters, you're just like, ah, the fucking landlord or he's creepy or he's spying on them. It's like a stepmother. It's always evil. Tippi Hedren as Floor... Tippi Hedren as Florence Peters. And that's Melanie Griffith's mom. Melanie Griffith's real life mom. And then I have, for what's age the best, this exchange. Oh, that's a great idea, Patty. You're pregnant with a blown knee. My knee's fine and I don't have to be pregnant.

1:09:24Bill Simmons:Ooh. That's in the script. Yeah. But also like... Unbelievable. Patty's threatening to go pro again in equestrian riding. Like, what kind of money are we talking? I know. Are you going to make the mortgage? The Nationals are coming up. You don't know. It could be an Olympic sport any year now. The Steven Seagal shitting on himself award for most unbelievable anecdote from the actual film shoot. Kyle alluded to this earlier. Look, this is on the internet. I'm not positive it's true, but I'm going to pass along anyway because it's great. Modine stated during her presentation at the New York Film Academy that he experienced significant difficulty working with Melanie Griffith.

1:10:05Bill Simmons:he noted her frequent complaints regarding her menstrual cycle as a primary memory of their professional interaction. I don't know if that's true or not. It's so fucking weird that I just am passing along. I'm not judging. Maybe it's not true. That's amazing is that around when when Melanie Griffiths was shooting Bonfire of the Vanities. Okay. She complained openly about how difficult the production Pacific Heights was. Do you know how fucked up Pacific Heights must have been to have been complaining about it during making Bonfire of the Vanities? What happened during this movie? And then Keaton's like, and Keaton's out there.

1:10:37Bill Simmons:I'm not getting along with Melanie Griffith. Should he say that quote about the menstrual cycle in character as Drake Goodman? That's something that he would say. I hope that's not true. Maybe it's not true. I'm going to pass it along. Yeah, maybe it is. Just for comedy's sake, that's it. Sure. Again, the Steven Seagal category is like, we don't know if that happened where he shit on himself, but we passed it along. We're going to take one more break and then we're going to do Great Shot Gordo. This episode is brought to you by Nos Energy. Every ounce of dirt, sweat, and gears, every checkered flag and trophy raised, every lap, every race, every hard-bought place.

1:11:12Bill Simmons:They're all jammed inside every can of Nos Energy. High-performance energy for burning the midnight oil in the garage and pedal-to-the-metal human horsepower for the streets. Go ahead, crack open a can of Nos Energy and get after it. Evening, buyer's remorse. Buy a new car? I'll be moving in. Let's get started. Uh, sorry, I think there's been a mistake. I bought it from Carvana. You what? Yeah, great price. I even have seven days to love it or return it. So there's no... No, no buyer's remorse. More like buyer's rejoice. Ugh, I guess I'll let myself out. Congratulations. I mean it. Buyer's rejoice.

1:11:52Buy your car today on Carvana. Limitations and exclusions may apply. See our seven-day return policy at Carvana.com.

1:11:57Bill Simmons:Great check order award. What do you have, CR? Most cinematic shot. Yeah, so I've got Drake dropping his mail in the mailbox. and then the curtain's subtly opening behind him. But I'd like to introduce a wrinkle to this category today. Okay, yeah. And it's called Pass the Settle Down Juice. We've got a thirsty director award. Yes, do it. I know what it is. The random 360 dolly shot of Patty and the lawyer having a pretty normal conversation. And when Laurie Metcalf and Melanie Griffith are just like, yeah, well, this guy, he's going to try and get you out of the house because that's what he does.

1:12:28He tries to win. And meanwhile, the fucking camera is going around and around. like it's like they just found Jake LaMotta there it's really you love Settle Down Juice yeah that's a good one I like that I have this written down that if one of these guys chooses the 360 shot for the Great Shot Gordo we're gonna fight I hate that shot I feel like I'm on a carnival ride I get sick and they're treating this banal conversation like it's a Pacino in the ocean and the insider like just screaming into the phone it's like the drama doesn't match the shot easy

1:12:58Bill Simmons:the only time it works is when Keaton's flipping out at the end of the hotel manager because he's flipping out and they start moving around. But I agree, the other one didn't work. I had the ice cube falling in the hotel glass. Oh, that was awesome. I thought it was a really good one where it flips as she's going out the door. It's just, I was impressed. Chess Walkwell, Brock Lander's Award, best character name. Carter Hayes? No, you guys got to dig. Drake Goodman? You got to dig deeper here, guys. What do you got? What do you got, Chris? Court-appointed locksmith Manfred Bagel. Oh, come on. That's his name?

1:13:30Can you imagine this guy? His name is High Ansel. That's the actor. And he's been in a bunch of Woody Allen movies or whatever, but you think he's like, gets a call and they're like, Incredible. Hi, we need you to come play a court-appointed blacksmith. And he's like, ah, for Christ's sakes, I don't know. And they're like, his name is Manfred Bagel. And he's like, I'm there. What's my call time? That guy's nickname was Ungin?

1:13:52Bill Simmons:Or everything? The screenwriter was definitely eating a bagel when he wrote that character's name. Yeah, Manfred Bagel. well there's something in the thing where they say Patty's last name a couple times in the movie and then in the credits it's a different last name oh for real which I assume I assume is just an oversight well wait a second hold on is it possible that his name is Bagel because he deals with locks maybe oh it's like a nickname interesting yeah but that's but they like the marshal is very like official about like he's like ah very official court appointed locksmith Manfred Bagel he does everything Kincutty Pursuit of Happiness so we're best needle drop go ahead Kyle Well, I already mentioned Soundgarden.

1:14:31There's an awesome part where when Drake gets back to the house and the car is being taken apart and there's just this crazy heavy metal plane. Yeah. I want to shout out to a band called Hollow's Eve, an 80s thrash band from Atlanta who plays Lethal Tendencies and it makes Drake even madder. It's like a trap that he walks in. That metal song, which by the way, I know that song kind of music pretty well. I literally downloaded Shazam and held it to my TV because I couldn't find out what song that was. And it's like, oh, easy. Lethal Tendencies, Hollow Z. Got it. That's mine. My wife has been doing that to random trance songs that are on off-camera.

1:15:03She's like, what is this? And I'm like, it's literally Muzak. What are you doing?

1:15:08Bill Simmons:I wrote down, this is for later, but did this movie create grunge music, CR? No. But that's a good bit. Drake Goodman listening to Soundgarden, was that it? This should have been your hottest take. That was Ground Zero? You could tell he's starting to explore like, I've got a scarf on. Ironically. I think they moved to Seattle. You're probably right. And they really get into this. Well, Soundgarden, what? A year later, they're playing Birth Ritual on singles. Yeah. They just beat it. Den of Thieves, Benny Hanna Award for Scene Stealing Location and the Amanda Dobbins Award for Best Piece of Real Estate where this house was.

1:15:41Do you think this house is a good piece of real estate?

1:15:43Bill Simmons:I like that it's at the top of the hill like that. I think it's weird to live on those steep hills. Did you know anybody who did that? No. My buddies, Bishop Mike and Hopper, when they lived there. They lived like in the middle of a slanted hill. I always thought it was just weird. Yeah. I do want to mention the Beverly Hills house from the lady that his next mark. 1014 North Crescent. 30.3 million on Redfin right now. How much? 30.3. Wow. I mean, it looks fucking huge. It was massive. That's a big house. I immediately was... That's the fucking big... That's the white whale for Carter. He must be like, if I get this one, it's all over.

1:16:20I just like don't... So he's like in San Francisco trying to scam somebody into an apartment and then he's also in LA trying to get a$30 million Well he likes to have two going Yeah And he's in Pompers 2 But he has to break his marks Goodman's identity to go after her right? Okay

1:16:34Bill Simmons:It's like you always want to have the next one going Yeah It's like Sam Presti You got like two trades going at once Could this movie have had a better title? Well it could It would have been The Tenet but Roman Polanski made that movie Broken Lease? He never breaks it I just I think it's Eviction it's Pacific Heights what percentage of the viewing populace even knows what Pacific Heights is in reference to it's very vague safety deposit I have the winner it's off of what Kyle just said Eviction Quest oh yeah it's an unofficial Eviction Quest sequel Eviction Quest CR you have a flex category there's a Jesse Eisenberg that's good you should be proud of that right there don't worry if you don't make it any further reward for the best line reading is when Keaton first meets Modine and he's like, I spoke to your wife about the studio apartment.

1:17:28He goes, oh, my girlfriend. He's like, sorry, we don't want to rush anything, do we? It's a really good line reading. But my actual flex is to turn it back to you guys. It's the Van Lathan. How would Van Lathan get out of this one? Usually this is sex adjacent. But how would you guys handle this? Carrie comes to you and she's like, you know, it's going to be lonely without Ben here. let's get a tenant next thing you know he's changed the locks like what's your first move

1:17:56Bill Simmons:i think it's a lot easier now with with uh camera phones okay like part of the problem is they can't capture the drilling at 2 30 in the morning um and i think we also have more awareness of what to do as the landlord in this yeah if they if they're in there and they're not paying i feel like you could immediately get the police in um if he hasn't paid anything and it didn't seem like he had to sign lease he signed the lease there's no money it was all predicated on like i'm gonna sign the lease you i'm gonna send you six months that's why he was legally that's why he had the rights to live there because he signed the lease yeah and he was just like oh there's a problem there's a mix-up at the bank if you if you're bill i feel like you got to bring in like a big dom security guy who just sits out every time he comes home he's like hey carter where's that money yeah this is this is where i bring in gahow okay so kyle how you gotta handle oh you gotta do that how do you think man kyle's talking to the tenant right now kyle how would you handle it does the tenant chris just indulge me this does the tenant work for a private trust uh it's one that he cannot disclose who the private trust is for yeah uh listen the the biggest idiot thing that they do this they wait way too long to call the police yeah the second Greg is slamming the door in your face.

1:19:13We got to get the fucking cops here.

1:19:15Bill Simmons:You need a record of feuding with the guy that you got to then go forward. Yeah. To answer your question, Chris, I would rather have like reptile pets in my house than have an actual renter. So I don't think I'd be in this, but I'd call the police early if I did. Here's my thing. Yeah, what do you got? Kill them with kindness. Every night down there with a six pack and Christine being like, hey, Carter, I just want to know if you want to come upstairs. Rick Ruschel's pitching. Giants are looking pretty good. Nope. Okay. See you tomorrow night. I feel like Rick Moranis from Ghostbusters. Rugby championships are on.

1:19:47Hey, Carter, we're looking for a dance for my rugby team. Nope. Yeah, no, okay. All right. Well, I'll talk to you later, bud. I would just act like me and Carter were best friends. You know what you do, Chris? You're going to have a Weber grill, too, and you can put some ribs on there out front. And Carter, you want some? Medium rare. Come out there. Perfect. Making brats. Ronnie Lott's looking real good this season, Carter. Bring Greg, too.

1:20:10Bill Simmons:Well, the other move is when he's not there, you just figure out how to break into the place. Yeah. Which is a way better strategy than what he tried to do. Turning the lights off and the power off and all that, that's like the one no-no because now you're violating him. Now you're the bad guy. Couldn't you just get in, change the locks again? So then Keaton couldn't get back in? You could. Yeah. And then you could say like, well, I don't... Least agreement, what do you mean? He's never paid me. Butch's girlfriend award for weak link of the film. So you already did yours, Kyle. Yeah, the last scene, his death scene sucks.

1:20:41But you know what doesn't suck? Chris Ryan referencing Big Daddy Rick Russell of the San Francisco Jets. I loved Rick Russell. Gave up a home run to Bo in the All-Star game. What do you got, Bill?

1:20:53Bill Simmons:So, Carter Hayes, I have him as the best six-inning starter ever as a villain in a movie. He can only throw 18 pitches. He looked unstoppable. He's basically, he's going through six. people are texting each other like you watching Carter Hayes right now. 18 straight outs. 10 strikeouts, no walks. Like this guy's on fire. Fucking falls apart. In order, he fucks up and shoots Drake. I still don't understand when we talked about that. He didn't fuck up. He shot Drake and put the crowbar in his hand. But why? What did that get him? I think he's trying to drive Drake mad so that he is gone from the situation and he can take over the house.

1:21:34just kill him then. Yeah.

1:21:36Bill Simmons:I didn't understand that at all. He leaves the childhood photo behind. You're getting out of there. You have time to pack up, but you're leaving this incredible clue. He moves to LA and stupidly sends a postcard from his new hotel to his ex-girlfriend who's been looking for him who hates him. Yes. Do that. And then he becomes Drake Goodman in the hotel. Like, that's your second guess after is Carter Hayes here? No. Hmm. I wonder if he stole Drake's identity. Is Drake Goodman here? He sure is. Room 1031. I just, I thought he played this perfectly and then it just fell apart. It's a bummer. Yeah.

1:22:12Bill, I'm looking at like Mark Pryor for the Cubs in the Steve Bartman game. It just completely comes unglued. When Carter Hayes is sprinting down the avenue of the Stars chasing a cab, I feel bad for him. That's beneath him as a starter. You got to get him out of there.

1:22:27Bill Simmons:Yeah, that's when he's, now he's like giving up niner and runs. It's like, oh my God, this guy had a no-hitter. His ERA is going to go up. did you have a weak link or no? No, not really. I liked Laurie Metcalf's performance, but I think it would have been cool to have like a harder charging lawyer. Like a little bit more aggressive. Maybe he gets killed by Carter. The Mallory Rubin Award I threw in for did this movie need a better sex scene? I'd take two more. I don't think this movie has enough sex in it. No. I really think they should have ramped it up. Carter should have brought some gal home to the destroyed apartment one night.

1:23:00Bill Simmons:If you're going to throw that in in the first three minutes, that can't be it. Yeah. Like, you're trying to set a tone and then you're a PG-13 after that. Do you think they told Beverly D 'Angelo, trust me, the whole movie is going to be like this? Well, why do... It's an unanswerable, but why did she demand to take her name out of the credits? I thought that was weird. I don't know. Yeah, unbilled. You know, like she's like Kevin Spacey in seven. It's very strange. Yeah, she's like the fourth lead of the movie, basically. But, Bill, I zag on this, actually. I actually, it's like, did this movie need a worse sex scene because that sex scene is so good.

1:23:36I'd rather stay out in the desert with the two of them than go and check out these guys in San Francisco. I'm more intrigued by them. That's like the, they're like out in white sands. Like, I would love to know what was going on out there.

1:23:46Bill Simmons:Yeah, that's pretty weird. What's age the worst? I thought the first scene, just in general, is pretty bizarre. Like those guys come in and they beat him up, but not really. He's fine. and what lesson did he learn and like why didn't they like break his arm I didn't get that so are those people sent by the original Carter Hayes like those guys is the idea that he has stolen Carter Hayes' identity and now those guys are coming after him but then he still won because he retained that apartment it appears does that scene need to be in the movie it's almost more interesting if he just shows up it shows how desperate he is it shows his lifestyle and it immediately gives you a little violence and sex.

1:24:30I kind of like this scene, actually, because it's confusing, but it tells him he's mysterious.

1:24:34Bill Simmons:I would take more violence and maybe he shows up in his arms in a cast or something. Remember the shot at the very beginning of the movie where there's like two guys driving on the road? Yeah. Yeah, that's the guys with the baseball bat. Oh, that's just the two guys. They're going out to beat him up. The photo of him and his brother in a chimpanzee. What's going on there? This is what's aged the worst? Yes. What's going on there? I don't know. They look like they're on Neverland Ranch. Very strange photograph. Johnny, Charles, hold on, pose with the chip. Yeah. When have you ever been in a situation where you could take a photo of the chimpanzee?

1:25:09Bill Simmons:At the end of the movie, What is he? Every which way but loose? Carter's like, I have responsibilities. I have to take care of my brother. What is that about? And his brother, it's established, took the estate and disowned him. Yeah. I thought that, so that Shazam song you did, this is my other one's age of worst. I just would have put in Dinosaur Jr. there. They're sitting right there. Let's get like a real band. They're not really famous yet. They need it. Yeah. You know, they have an album out that year. I thought that could have worked. What did you have for what stage it works? I think there's like some moments where Hans Zimmer is doing We Have to Save the Earth from an Astronoid music when it's just like, these two guys are just like nailing two by fours.

1:25:51I don't think it's that dramatic. Die Hard 2 turned it down. And I thought the combined income of a couple made up of a kite maker and a horse riding instructor doesn't even get to the 20 % down for the$750 ,000. So there must either have been a family nest egg in there. I'd like to know which one of them was spending it.

1:26:10Bill Simmons:Yep. By the way, that would have been a good yuppie angle of like somebody saying, I don't want to have to ask my mom for money. I mean, if you ask me, Drake Goodman screams family of lawyers. He's going his own way. Right. Making kites. what happened to drake i heard he graduated from harvard

1:26:29Bill Simmons:so you know kites are really taking off right now and drake thought this luxury kite business oh i thought he was going to be an attorney no it's going on the kite route big kite company it's probably a seasonal business too he loves kites he's going to do another round of seed investing if you're in for the series b let me know uh what do you have for what stage is the or say anything, Kyle? I got a young woman named Patty. You just don't see that anymore. Yeah. I hate when Realtor will bring you to a place that is over your stated price range. I think it's Dirty Pool. It happens here. Yeah. But most importantly, guys, is it entirely necessary to have Mr.

1:27:08Watanabe doing Tai Chi in the rain in front of the bonsai trees? That's a pretty casually racist movie. What are we doing? The only thing that's missing is that in the final scene when they're fighting Carter, Watanabe comes back and does karate and does a kick and it's like 1990 we get it the man is Japanese we don't need the tai chi and the bonsai trees it's a little heavier than that and him being like I will pay you back somehow and it's like they're all bowing they're constantly bowing this is a fucking terrible situation I'm out of here try and sue me I've made you some sushi

1:27:38Bill Simmons:yeah what else could he have done that would have been yeah I didn't I didn't even clock that how did I not have that in my notes the tai chi it's very heavy handed there's practically a gong there it's just come on guys we get it he's japanese hans gruber scale villain ranking uh carter hayes i think 8.0 he's pretty high up there i mean he's a very he's a terrifying what if like what if this happened to you what do you got uh with 10 being hans gruber and one being the passenger 57 guy here's what hurts here's what hurts carter three toy soldiers toy soldiers is three maybe two sudden death carter doesn't kill anybody in the movie which is kind of unusual and he doesn't give us the big old here is my manifesto.

1:28:21The system is working against me and I will... He does a little with I gotta take care of my brother, but a tenant of the Gruber scale is you gotta cook for a while and just tell everybody what you're all about.

1:28:32Bill Simmons:So you're one monologue short. Yeah, I have him. I love the character, but on this particular scale, he's at best a six. I liked it during that speech where he's like, you liked it, didn't you? Living dangerously. Ruffalo Hannah Ribnick Partridge overacting word we don't even need to really go in a second so what i'm out of here i had modine five budweiser drunk acting yeah yeah it's all the candy if we did it as oscars and there were five nominees it's like and matthew modine and matthew modine and we'd just be five when he turns off the utilities and does that dance it's like the worst end zone dance you've ever seen that like yeah it's an offensive lineman picks up a fumble and does one it's i I cannot believe they chose to keep that in the movie, but they did.

1:29:16Bill Simmons:Kyle, what's your flex category? I have a new category. Oh. I have the Pacific Heights Ice Cube Award for Excellence in Intimacy Coordination. That move that they do to start it in which Beverly D 'Angelo takes an ice cube out of the glass, into her mouth, passes it directly to Carter Hayes' mouth. He then takes it and rubs it all over her back. And then she goes, so gentle. Like that is an unbelievable thrilling sequence. And my question to you guys, did it say in the script, she removes the ice, tongues it into his mouth? Or do you think those two were just like, let's just explore the studio space?

1:29:56Like, you know what? Long day on the set. Let's make something happen here. And there's two people whose reactions I want to that scene. One is Chevy Chase, who watched that scene. It's like, Ellen! And he probably pushed for that shit in Vegas Vacation. And then I want Pacino's reaction, which I guarantee was, ooha! And he like wanted her number. And eventually they end up together. Because that is so sexy. And I just, I love that they went for that. Baby, you are on fire. Fire. It's kind of the Peter North award a little bit. Most effort put into a scene. Yeah. Great. Oh, yeah. Also. Absolutely.

1:30:27The Ice Cube exchange is against gravity, which is even more impressive. It doesn't go down from the top. Yes, correct. It goes up against gravity. Very impressive. Impressive stuff. There's some suction from it.

1:30:37Bill Simmons:I think it's all ad-libbed. You do? I think this is a PG-13 movie. and Bev and Keaton were like, yeah, let's fuck around here. Let's try something. Here, let's just roll with it. Just keep rolling. Let's do this. And it's just awesome. It's very sexy. So would you call that the Pacific Heights? The Pacific Heights Ice Cube Award for Excellence in Intimacy Coordination. Not bad. I'm going to add it. The CR thinks Luke Wilson could have been Harrison Ford hottest take award. I didn't really have one except for maybe like, I think Patty should have given like five minutes of thought to sticking with Carter and becoming the new Anne.

1:31:08Yeah, that's pretty hot. Just because like, first of all, he shows that he's willing to get his hands dirty when it comes to renovations and demolitions. Yeah. And also, this is a guy with plans and ambition. He's not content just sitting around doing kite making. It's pretty good. I like that your pivot now is that people should stay with the crazy person in the front. That was my idea. It seems like De Mornay's just got it all figured out.

1:31:30Bill Simmons:Should we be worried that Ciara sided with the From Hell character in every movie? It's called Highest Take. Come on. I have... I think I learned more about landlord-tenant rights from this movie than any human being in my life. Any story. Yeah. I think this movie was incredibly impactful and doesn't get its just due. I can't think of another situation, movie, TV, real life, that taught me more than this did in 102 minutes. And that's it. What do you got, Kyle? It's incredible. they once they get in they have the right to due process and that's expensive and long and i completely agree with you i would watch this to learn about that exact crime um mine is really close to chris's this is a better movie if the huge twist at the end is that carter and drake are working together and when melanie is up in the hotel room she's flipping through the document she comes across her boyfriend's face.

1:32:31A photo of them together?

1:32:32Bill Simmons:He's the brother. Yes. His name is not Drake Goodman. He's been, and they're been working on this for months. Remember, they're not married and they make a point of saying they're not married like five or six different times. So this is relatively new. And I think that they're in cahoots and in tandem. The fight was kind of staged. I think Drake Goodman - Twice in the arm. Yeah, twice in the arm. I think Drake Goodman caused the miscarriage, like all kinds of things. but the terror in her face when she finds out, oh my God, they're in on it together. That's a better movie. You could even have, he decides he's going to be a luxury kite maker as to throw people off the scent.

1:33:10And Carter's like, no one will ever believe that.

1:33:13Bill Simmons:And you play rugby? This is crazy. Will people believe this? That's really good. She could have held the photo up and been like, yes. Casting what ifs. I only have one. Christopher Reeve really wanted to be Carter Hayes, lobbied the director. and sadly for Christopher Reeve, Keaton was Batman and wanted to be in the movie and that was a wrap for Christopher Reeve. I don't see Christopher Reeve in this movie. They wanted Superman or Batman. That's pretty cool.

1:33:44Bill Simmons:Amazing two choices. Who would have been the third person? Yeah, I heard Tobey Maguire wanted to do it but he was like 10 years old. They couldn't. Well, look at the best that guy category. It's fucking stacked. It is. Yeah, it is. We have Dan Hedaya. One scene. We have Mrs. Watanabe, played by Nobu McCarthy, Mr. Miyagi's long-lost love in Karate Kid 2. You Karate Kid? You KK2 guy, Kyle? Hell yes, I am. Beautiful story. The instruments at the end. I love it. Fortune. I'm into it. Daniel-san, this time enough of points for life. Yep. Carl Lumley. Lumley. Carl Lumley. Cagney and Lacey, cast member.

1:34:26Bill Simmons:also played Bobby Seale in Chicago 7. Some of the Falcon the Winter Soldier stuff. Yeah. Jerry Harden playing Bennett Fidlow. You might know him from X-Files and The Firm. And then you mentioned Tracy Walters the cockroach exterminator. Sadly, none of these people win. I gotta go Dorian Harewood. I don't know if he's that guy. I think he was famous at one point. Which guy is he, Chris? He's the one buddy that he has. He's the one buddy he has. That's pretty good, though. Craig does my face. I have him winning because he played eight ball in Full Metal Jacket. So he and Modine were in the same squad in Full Metal Jacket.

1:35:00Oh, that's good. Mine's not on the list either, though. I have two more. Okay, go. Do it. Do it. Do it.

1:35:06Bill Simmons:Nicholas Pryor is the hotel manager. You know him as the risky business dad. And more importantly, Chancellor Arnold from 90210. Uh-huh. My winner is Luca Bercovici. Yeah. Who played Muzzin in American Flyers with Kevin Costner, the bad guy biker. and is just a home run in that movie and then really never kind of bounce around after that. This is a good time to ask. What is Greg's utility here? Like, Carter can't do that demolition himself? He's helping out with ruining the apartment for no reason. He's like a myth-fixing guy. Carter needed a hand doing that? Yeah. It's a studio apartment. Needed some help.

1:35:41Okay. What did you have, Kyle? I had Hal Landon Jr. when they go and do the locksmith to finally get in. the officer there with the pattern baldness he's Ted's dad from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure and that's like the only thing I've ever seen him in Deputy Van Halen he has one scene in this the year later that was my guy but these are a lot of excellent choices

1:36:04Bill Simmons:really loaded category I think my favorite is probably Mr. Miyagi's Long Lost Love and Karate Kid I do too you know Sato kind of fucked up their relationship I felt like

1:36:18Bill Simmons:Dion Waiter's award I can offer you Beverly D 'Angelo, the Watanabe's, or the cockroach exterminator. I'll do it, Bev. Okay, Bev. Yeah, she takes it all. Recasting couch director of city. I can offer you young Denzel Washington as the tenant that got turned down. Right in his range. I think 1990 is a little. Is he famous at that point? That's post-glory, yeah. Yeah. How about Sam Jackson? Oh. Oh. 90 works, sure. Yeah. I have De Palma for this though I think De Palma doing Pacific Heights would have been fucking awesome I can't stop staring at Seagal's shirt It's really It is distracting It's really great These two are so happy to be in the portrait It also looks like they're together watching the Chicago Bulls who Kyle has to the left of him You never thought you needed Tony Kukoc and Mason Storm together but we got them Two big threes in a row Half-Fast Center Research Carter Hayes drives a 1977 Porsche 911 Carrera Targa.

1:37:22Bill Simmons:It's a fucking elite car. It's not really research. It's just respect. It's just an elite, elite car. This is my favorite. I was researching Melanie Griffith. Joanne Woodward told a 17-year-old Melanie on the set of The Drowning Pool that her goals were to marry a movie star, have beautiful babies, and win an Oscar. And she did all three. Melanie said she adopted the goals for herself. she married a movie star and had beautiful babies but never won the Oscar well it's never too late they'd get nominated yeah Joanne Woodward who didn't you have a moment of Joanne Woodward moment like that with anyone CR like where somebody passes along like James Corden it's like here are my three goals I want to host a terrible world cup soccer show I want to have my own late night show yeah what have I done of those I don't know I'm just

1:38:18apex mountain keaton yeah well this is it i'm gonna say yes yeah i think it is too although it's an example of apex mountain being a poison chalice sometimes like you make the wrong move from the apex you know for sure or the right move for sure melanie griffith no matthew modine

1:38:39Bill Simmons:I think Full Metal Jackets. I think it's the Kubrick lead. Full Metal, yeah. The lead in the Kubrick movie. You got to do that, yeah. Ominously playing with a razor? Has it ever been done better? I think of Kevin Spacey cutting his fingertips off at seven. Oh, pretty awesome. And then, of course, Paulie slicing the garlic. But it's close. Boy, those are two really good razor shots. Better creepy cockroach scene?

1:39:04I don't know. Cockroach is notoriously difficult to work with on film sets. What's that stupid movie Joe's Apartment? Isn't Jerry O 'Connell? Isn't that a cockroach-based movie?

1:39:13Bill Simmons:Yes. I almost did this as my hottest takes. Cockroaches. Kind of overrated. Seems super scary in a movie, but they can't bite. They're just kind of creepy. I think they're like the scariest thing in the world. I'd rather kill myself. Well, they're scary in both. If I was Mr. Watanabe, I would have just offed myself. So wait, you're more scared of roaches than mice? I don't... I think rats are way more scary than cockroaches. Yeah, me too. No, roaches, they're infinite. And like, they'll never go away. They just breed in your pipes. They've completely freaked me out. And a lot of them can fly, which people don't know.

1:39:43Did you get them? I've had a few roaches in my life. Never like an infestation, but I hate them.

1:39:49Bill Simmons:We had termites in our first LA place. Oh, yeah? That sucked. Did you have to tent it? That was bad. Did you have to tent it? They just, it's like out of a movie. They start multiplying. You see the wings. It fucking sucks. If Spencer Pratt was like, we're getting rid of the roaches, she would have had my vote. That's all I had to do. Look at you, Craig. San Francisco movie houses. No. We've done this before. Is it Mrs. Doubtfire? Oh, movie houses. Yeah. Doubtfire and the stuff in Basic Instinct. And I think Full House on TV. That one. People are going to take pictures in front of that. Porsche 911, Career Target, yes, for 77.

1:40:32Bill Simmons:Evil Tenants and Movies, 100%. Annoying yuppies in a movie? Maybe. No. And then casual 90s racism? Sadly, no. Okay. Cruise or Hanks? Cruise has got to play Carter. That's it. That's it. I have responsibilities, Patty. Cruise would have said no until they showed him the last scene. So he's going to run out of the JW merit at full speed. He's like, what? This would have been awesome. Cruise would have been like, this is like my Ripley. this is great yeah cruz would have caught them if he was running out of the on the avenue of the stars also cruz doing the ice cube scene with d 'angelo this is the same year that he did days of thunder and is taking a sweet and low packet up nicole kidman's thigh on the inside of it's like those are brother and sister scenes i think he could have done it he could have done half ice cube followed by just them laughing for 20 seconds well there's also just a ton of cocktail you know Like he could have thrown the champagne glass in the air and caught it, you know?

1:41:34Yeah. What would have been Cruz's skill for this?

1:41:36Bill Simmons:The nail gun? Like I worked with a nail gun for two months. No, I think it's mimicry. I think it's becoming different people to like steal their identities. That razor blade too. He's working that thing for a long time. Yeah. But he has the smoke. Cockroach crawling on Keaton's fingers. Cruz would have gotten into that. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. The Rose from Titanic award for character who sneaky sucks. I don't know. Is Drake Goodman qualified or does he openly suck? Yeah. Yeah, he openly sucks, right? Or cross that up. Best name for a movie from a racehorse. Best name from a movie for a racehorse.

1:42:08Bill Simmons:Evil Tenet. Sure. I think it's a really good Kentucky Derby name. Jim Danforth. Jim Danforth. Not a great name. Jim Danforth, that is good. Unless you want to go with Kite Company. It just flies. Luxury Kite Company. Hey, we don't get to do this too often. Yeah. Really, it's for CR. The Dennis Peck relationship test. Go on. Could Dennis have broken up the main relationship? No, but I'll tell you what. Dennis would have gotten that guy out of the fucking apartment.

1:42:39They just needed a dirtier cop. That would have been the easiest way to do this. It's just like, get a cop who's like, I don't give a shit what it says. You're out of here.

1:42:45Bill Simmons:I think Dennis comes over. The guy's at the kite company job. And what was her name in this? Patty? Patty. Can't get that guy out, huh? What'd your boyfriend do? Luxury kite company, huh? What are you doing now? Want to get a drink? Yeah. He's in. I think he's in with Patty in two hours. You like to ride horses. Picky knits. We did a lot of these. Carter moves in without a rental agreement. Why didn't Drake just open the door with his keys and kick this fucking asshole out before? I think the first thing he does is change locks. Open the door. Here's an underrated one for picky knits. Anytime in a movie or TV show, somebody thinks a cat's going to be good luck?

1:43:28Oh, yeah. Never good luck. Just, I don't think I've ever seen a thriller where a cat is introduced, but it's like, don't worry about it. Famously bad luck, cats. Black cats are bad luck. You moved into a place with Liz.

1:43:43Bill Simmons:If a cat was just outside the door and was like, I brought this cat in, it would be good luck. You'd be like, get that fucking cat out of here. No. My wife and I currently have a betting pool on the cat in the Cape Fear TV show. Oh. Yeah, Peanut Butter. just keeps sitting there on the counter. I'm like, this guy's dead. Yeah, peanut butter's done.

1:44:02Bill Simmons:Carter Hayes' strategy is he's going to drive them into foreclosure and pick up the property. We think. And get it for cheaper. I think that there was a twofold thing. I think it was there's the initial, like, I'm going to drive these people out and then receive the property as, like, my civil settlement. And then when that seems like it's not going to work. He just shoots Drake. I think he steals his identity and then how did they restore the house the second time after they'd been cleaned out and they're living month by month it looks beautiful new floors maybe the Danforth estate gave them a little bit of money to shut up about it I feel like she should have had more money from the hotel room yeah that should have been like$75 ,000 behind it looked like it was like a grand like it was a stack a small stack of hundreds yeah not enough any other nitpicks we did most of them not really I mean we've talked about most of them but like the identity thief who keeps his entire life story in his suitcase and the con man who sends a postcard with a return address.

1:45:03Bill Simmons:Yeah. Do you have that in your house, CR? Like just your scrapbook? Spin Magazine in Grantland?

1:45:12Bill Simmons:Sequel, prequel, prestige TV, all black cast, untouchable. This has got Apple TV written all over it. All over it. I can't believe they haven't done it yet. There was a 2021-22 TV series being kicked around that did a gender swap. So I assume Carter would have been a lady. All black cast would have worked too. I mean, honestly, prequel would have worked. Sequel absolutely would have worked if you don't kill Carter Hayes and he just gets away Michael Myers style at the end. I'm in for that. The Carter Hayes Chronicle prequel is good. But all black cast, you then have a moment where you're like, I guess you're thinking right now, I should have rented to the white man.

1:45:49It would be all switched.

1:45:51Bill Simmons:You just whip all of it. It's perfect. is this movie better with Wayne Jenkins Fergie the florist Zane Lowe Robert Evans Dr. Charles Nickel the owner of the luxury kite company or someone else what do you have CR? I just want to say up top I would pay to watch a movie where this guy tries to pull this on either Wayne Jenkins or Fergie as his landlord

1:46:17you're going to get out of this house for me or I'm going to do you the way I did your brother. That chemical way. But it would be cool to have Zane talk to Carter afterwards. She'd be like, Carter, you've extorted, you've trespassed, and you've identity thieved. What's next for you, man? What's the next con? And is it all a con? This whole thing, life. Is life a con? What do you have, Kyle? Bill, I feel like I'm going to steal yours right now. But there's a sliding doors moment when Carter Hayes is running out of the hotel into the street. If he actually goes right, he goes into a ballroom. And the keynote speaker is Dr.

1:47:02Charles Nichols. He's sitting there and he's like, Carter, I'm in the middle of this speech. And Carter goes, you switched off the utilities, didn't you? You switched the utilities. After I shot Drake, you were the only one with the access. You stole my identity. Did you evict the Watanabes too? Huh? Did ya? And he's like, sorry, ladies and gentlemen, my friend Carter Hayes doesn't feel well. I was going to write it to that black guy. Yes. But you stole it. The application never came, so enjoy your coffee and dessert and we'll talk. Carter, please. He's there. He's always there.

1:47:34Bill Simmons:That's a great one. I thought you were going to do Gus there. No, Gus wasn't there, but the weird thing about the ballroom is at the end of it, Borat and Azumat run in naked too. Like, just the place comes down. we could have done a little Ryan Rucco for Gerda Hayes falling backwards got it just one Oscar who gets it that would have been good in honor of Modine Super Knicks fan oh yeah just one Oscar who gets it I guess Keaton I guess so not Hans Zimmer yeah probably an answer for questions I only have one did these two losers stay together or was it like a breakup the next two months I wanted to know how long you guys thought they had been together before this movie like you know like up to the point of buying the house is this a one year one year thing i think it's really short i actually had six months i think they're very impulsive people i think it's at least you don't buy a house with somebody unless it's two years two three years in 1990 yeah it's like you're two years i think at that point uh i don't think he was with her when she got hurt during the equestrian race they realize they have absolutely nothing to say to each other after about a week they don't even have like like a lunch scene where she's like, I thought I'd surprise you at work.

1:48:44Oh. No. They don't seem to like each other that much. She's even kind of like, what are you doing here when he shows up at the horse?

1:48:50Bill Simmons:They really brought the set into the movie. Memorability you'd most want from the movie, Kyle? I want that little model house. I had that as well. I want the house. That was cool. The fake Drake Goodman ID stuff. So his visa card, like the old visa card. The old bank books. Oh, yeah. Good passport. Finstock, Mr. Miyagi were best worst life lesson. I mean, this one has a pretty obvious one. Don't be a landlord. Well, just don't let the person in. Don't let dude sign the lease. I'll pay you later. Like, get the fucking money. Yeah. Yeah. Kids, if you ever hear the phrase, I don't have a traditional kind of credit, run.

1:49:29That's not what you want. That's right.

1:49:31Bill Simmons:Or they mentioned their bank in San Antonio. You're out. Double feature choice. What'd you have, KB? Okay, so this is interesting. I had Mr. Mom, because it's really nice, fun, Michael Keaton. But I have to tell you, I was watching the movie Pacific Heights on Prime, Amazon, and it goes to the next movie, and the next movie was Unfaithful. And I was like, fuck, yes. And I watched the first half hour. It's like a con man. It's all that. So I went right into it, and I liked it. I had two. One was The Money Pit from 1986, the Tom Hanks movie about losing your mind, trying to save your home. And the other was a little bit different, War of the Roses, just because it's like kind of being trapped in a house with somebody.

1:50:12Sure. Yeah.

1:50:13Bill Simmons:I did single-whip female. If we did the roommate-tenant combo. Magisco. What do you have, Craig? For double feature, probably Transformers. Transformers won. Roses, honestly. Who won the movie? Keaton? Keaton. Michael Keaton after Batman, another dub as a villain. Why I like this movie. Craig, can't wait for your take. Here we go. Craig loves From Hell Month, by the way. These are what real movies should be. You can watch them at noon on a Monday. They're great. I liked, what I liked about this one is that there was much more mystery. Typically, it was like domestic disturbance or hand that rocks the cradle.

1:50:51And you kind of just know the motive from the beginning and you're just waiting to get to the end. I enjoy that this movie, they treat Keaton like Jaws a little bit. And you're like, I don't really know what he's up to. I don't see him a whole lot. Who's Greg? What's going on in LA? and I think it's why the whole mystery takes you down to LA and it's why that scene is so good. But I think this is one of the more satisfying from Hell movies because you actually get like the plot to take this person down rather than just the big fight at the end results in the villain dying. This was like, oh, for like 20 minutes I get Melanie Griffith actually plotting to get back at this guy and it's working.

1:51:25I feel like that was more satisfying. Also, this movie is kind of the inspiration for the show Beef, if you think. I mean, it's kind of like a... From Hell Month has definitely got some of that. It's like road rage, but for real estate kind of vibes. And it's very relatable in that regard. I also think it's kind of just a great look at how men and women deal with problems differently. Yeah. This is like a great men not being able to admit their wrong movie. Like, I can handle this, Patty. It's like, honey, don't you want to just pull up a map and get directions? Like, no, no, I know how to get there.

1:51:55Like, it's like basically that. We're driving north. Yeah. It's a great men versus women dealing with problems movie. Great call.

1:52:01Bill Simmons:Thumbs up. you've enjoyed From Hell Month it's great I'm having a blast yeah these are great there's lots more maybe this is just the rest of 2026 what's on the horizon though well we've done Domestic Disturbance and The Good Sun and The Rocks to Cradle Single White Female yeah and there's a couple couple winners left yeah there really is I've even been scouting I've been scouting some other ones that I wasn't sure yeah how'd it go there's some bad ones I watched Save Me on MGM with Harry Hamlin and Lissette Anthony? Oh, come on. We can't do that. We have to have some respect. No, it's like, I thought it was a...

1:52:40Or we have to do like the re-Godfather somewhere in there. No, it was terrible. To cleanse the palate. It was truly, truly awful.

1:52:47Bill Simmons:Yeah. But I just, you know, just looking around. The one that you've mentioned before that I always have gotten so entertained by is Cop from Hell Unlawful Entry. And what's really fun about that movie is Madeline Stowe's character is named Karen. And so you get Ray Liotta going, you're a cock-deezer, Karen. And it's like right after Goodfellas. It's awesome. That's Kurt Russell's in that, right? Yeah, yeah. And then he's also in Breakdown. He did double from Hell, dude. Breakdown's one of our favorites. Do we have a good modern from Hell movie? All these movies are from the 90s. What's like the best recent from Hell movie?

1:53:20No, I mean like going to the 2000s. I can't remember. When's Perfect Getaway? Like the, when's that movie? Let me see.

1:53:26Bill Simmons:No, it kind of ended in the 2000s. Perfect Getaway's 09. 09? I just feel like this moved to Lifetime and then they did every single version of them. But another one that we've talked about doing because Van Loves is the fan with Robert De Niro and... Benicio and Wesley Snipes. With the worst ending probably of any sports movie of all time, but it's still really fun and it's Tony Scott. I mean, to be honest, is Obsession kind of like the girlfriend from Hell? Or the boyfriend from Hell? Sure. Obsession? Yeah. You think that could be in there? I don't know if it's from Hell, but it would be pretty fun to do Obsession as a rewatchable now.

1:54:02this would be a good we haven't done a 2026 movie yet

1:54:06Bill Simmons:no we're due yeah but it'll probably be the odyssey right I guess so dune part 3 Bill let's go yeah dune 3 he's gotta see the first two dunes could we do it from hell good morning football there's a new person on the show

1:54:24Bill Simmons:a former football player who just wants to hang out and then it just starts going sideways I have a quip but I'm not going to say it because it would get me in trouble. There's another one that I think I'm the only one who likes it but it's a great, great, great From Hell movie that I highly recommend. If you like my recommendations, Sure. Bad Influence with Rob Lowe and Joe Spader. Oh, we were talking about this. I think that movie's really good. It's Curtis Hanson's first movie. I just think it's excellent but nobody's seen it. That'd be crazy. I haven't seen it. We just did the entire Hanson filmography.

1:54:56Bill Simmons:I think you would like Bad Influence. anyway alright Kyle Brandt this was a pleasure as always thanks for zooming in thank you CR thank you CR the whole Storm family thanks Craig thanks to Chris and Gahau and Eduardo as well and we will see you next time on the Rewatchables

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