'Rambo: First Blood Part II' With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt

18:17Bill Simmons:Well, because we know it's a choice because you see him in Tango and Cash three years later. He's like, hey, whoa. I know. He's like doing like the. That's so true. over the top stuff no so he's i mean there's a hilarious scene when he's with co played by julia nixon uh his very cute female i guess accomplice during this whole thing and all of a sudden it's a rom-com scene for like three minutes he's like so where are you from man it's like it's like what's happening you've said 10 words for the entire movie now it's like so what are your parents like uh uh stallone ranked his preference of rambo films in the graham norton show yeah give me it he ranked this one fourth he said it was his least favorite and he said it was like a cartoon i yeah this is your fault sly stallone you you did every aspect of this they even hired the director george pete cosmatos who also did cobra a year later and stallone would just famously you know kind of bully the guy out and do all the directing himself i think he also kind of did that for you know he directed rocky four too but um these were all stallone's choices i don't know why why he's and this movie was a phenomenon i don't know why he's embarrassed of it i rambo three and rambo four i don't really acknowledge do you no of course not yeah no rambo

19:36Kyle Brandt:three was rambo three that troutman gets kidnapped and they get the fuck out of here we're doing too much with that yeah right first blood's obviously awesome i love it it's dark there's cops there's great actors there's real drama and stakes but this movie is just like a big fucking ice cream sundae with some heavy metal on in the background how do you not like this movie it kicks ass and

19:56Bill Simmons:it was a massive success for him it was weird to see him kind of distance from it yes i have some questions about what we should have done with the sequels after uh quickly some supporting cast members, Richard Crenna, his 1985 was Rambo First Blood Part 2. This is coming off Flamingo Kid the year before, by the way. Rambo 2, Summer Rental with John Candy.

20:18Kyle Brandt:Love that movie.

20:19Bill Simmons:And a TV movie called The Rape of Richard Beck, where he played Richard Beck. Yeah. I'm confused. It's a movie about a cop who gets sexually assaulted by a criminal, and he's Richard Beck. And I would, at some point this weekend, recommend watching the trailer of the TV movie.

20:41Kyle Brandt:You've not seen The Rape of Richard Beck. I saw the trailer on YouTube

20:43Bill Simmons:because I was like, what is this? And yeah, that's the movie. This is, you know, a lot of social issues happening in the 80s, including that. So anyway, those are his three movies. He's Troutman, Richard Beck, and Al Pellett in Summer Rental.

20:59Kyle Brandt:The problem is when I see Richard Beck getting sexually assaulted, but I just picture him in the beret. Like I, I feel like he always has that.

21:07Bill Simmons:I didn't see the movie. So maybe, maybe that's what happened. He's, he's used perfectly here. It's a lot of, it's a lot of like, we're going to need Kyle Brandt for that Monday show. Well, don't forget one thing. What? The Bill's Jersey. He's, he's, uh, he's just karaoke. He's Troutman karaoke in this movie. And I kind of enjoy it. I got to say,

21:30Kyle Brandt:I have some, some Troutman thoughts. slightly later, but I will jump in to say that Sly loves the older sage. He vouches for his crazy character and is kind of the Sly whisperer. Obviously you had Mick and then you have Duke and you have Troutman here. And in Cobra, we get that guy who, when they're outside the grocery store and he's like, he's all buried in there, we can't get to him. Then there's a pause. He's like, bring in the Cobra. You're like, fuck yeah. The guy's like, don't worry, Cobra. I'll keep the commissioner breathing down my neck. I'll handle him for you. There's always a guy who's like, just let this genius work.

22:06Kyle Brandt:He repeats that thing over and over. And I don't think anybody does it better than Troutman.

22:10Bill Simmons:It's like his own Ernie Adams. So we have Richard Crenna, we have Martin Cove playing Erickson. Martin Cove doesn't get enough credit for being in two top five box office smashes back to back years. Karate Kid is Kreese and then Erickson in this movie. Do you want to compare and contrast Kreese and Erickson? Is there any difference at all between those two people?

22:32Kyle Brandt:Let me tell you something, Bill. There's no Erickson. It's just Kreese. Kreese showed up. He's opening a dojo in Thailand. He has an alias. It's fucking Kreese. He shows up in this movie. He's got on a sleeveless getup. He's got a vest. He has a little button with a frowny face on it. And he has a massive revolver that's holstered in his vest. You just don't see it much. And it's that same beautiful center parted crease blow-dried hair it's crease it's it's it's strike hard strike

23:01Bill Simmons:first no mercy crease he looks exactly the same i know he looks great it's pretty funny well you have him and you have charles napier as murdoch marshall murdoch who i gotta say for if you're just putting a mount rushmore for that guys it's beautiful he's the security guard in silence of the lambs who gets killed by lector he's that guy and he does like one of the great screams sees that he's the judge in philadelphia yeah we don't live in this courtroom do we your honor he's blues brothers country and western singer who ends up trying to chase down the blues brothers and drives his bus into the water.

23:51Bill Simmons:And then he's Murdoch and Rambo. That's about as good of a that guy, Mount Rushmore, as you're getting.

23:57Kyle Brandt:I always think of those fan conventions where the actors show up and behind them, they have like the posters of the movies that they've done so they can sign headshots. His posters would be really cool. Yeah, I don't even know what I'd want him to sign. I honestly... I'd probably want lambs. I think it's silence. Yeah. Dude, I was Googling this morning. I was like, now, was Napier the guy who Lector crucifies or gets his face cut off? Which one? He's the crucified guy who gets his gut split out.

24:24Bill Simmons:Yeah, that's him. Shouldn't have given him that second veal dinner. I call him Chuck Napier. He's been in my life for so long.

24:30Kyle Brandt:Absolutely great.

24:31Bill Simmons:And then another that guy. We have that guy off because Stephen Burkhoff's in this, aka Victor Maitland from Beverly Hills Cop. In 83, 84, 85, he's the villain in Octopussy. He's the villain in Beverly Hills Cop 2. And he's the villain in Rambo 2 playing a Russian. He's got different accents in each movie. and he's just, you see him and you know he's a bad guy. There was no, apparently a famous English actor from the 60s and 70s, really well accomplished stage actor who then just was like, fuck it. I'm going to be a bad guy in the mid 80s. Give me some parts. Yeah.

25:03Kyle Brandt:I figured he was just Eastern European or Russian.

25:06Bill Simmons:No, just has an Eastern European face.

25:08Kyle Brandt:The block, the corner that he was on for a long time, 10 years after this movie was taken by the guy who's the bad guy in The Saint. Remember that guy who plays a Russian in every single movie and he's an eyes wide shut with the costume shop. He would have played that role if this movie 10 years later.

25:24Bill Simmons:Yeah. I don't know who that guy is now, but, uh, Burkoff, I mean, Victor Maitland is his, is that that's one of the great villains just staring him down. I love that guy. Uh, then we have Julian Nixon as the accomplice. Um, I don't know her and Charlotte Lewis from golden child to mid eighties babes that just, This was sadly their peaks. And I don't know what we did wrong. I don't know why we didn't have more Julia.

25:50Kyle Brandt:There's a part in Golden Child where Eddie Murphy is having a dream sequence and he comes across her and she's like coming on to him and she's all hot. And she's like, can we spend some more time together? And Jesus, as a nine-year-old, that fucked me up. She's so, so hot. Two great ones.

26:02Bill Simmons:Julia makes it long career. Her IMDb, like a lot of TV shows, like kind of like the fourth or fifth lead in a couple of shows, a lot of like CSIs. Didn't you check it and you're like,

26:11Kyle Brandt:wow, Julia? Yeah, it was good. I didn't know. I wasn't familiar with your game.

26:16Bill Simmons:Right. So like a 40-year career. But I think she's good at this. And then most important, indoor aviator guy. Indoor aviators guy.

26:29Kyle Brandt:What do you mean? Explain by that. I know what you mean. What are you talking about?

26:33Bill Simmons:So apparently he plays the character Lifer. So you have Murdoch and you have Kreese. And then you have this third guy who's wearing sunglasses indoors, who's got like a, I don't know, I don't even know how to describe his outfit. He's got like a thin Miami Vice beard and thinning blonde hair in the back. Barely has any lines. He's the one who, when Rambo's jumping out of the plane, Rambo can't get out. He's trying to help him. He's played by Steve Williams. Do you want to guess how many other IMDb credits Steve Williams had?

27:05Kyle Brandt:Just tell the people because I already looked. It's unbelievable.

27:08Bill Simmons:This is it. This is his only one. He's lifer. How? I was researching 15 minutes. I was on Google. I was on every AI site. Like, just tell me more about Steve Williams' lifer. No information online. None. It's like it's been scrubbed. We know nothing about him. I don't know why he's in this movie. I don't know why he didn't act again. I don't know if some actor called in sick and they grabbed somebody from the crew. It's just a fucking mystery. And if anyone knows, feel free to email us because I couldn't find out any info about Steve Williams.

27:39Kyle Brandt:This guy is probably sixth or seventh on the call sheet for a$100 million massive movie. He holds a gun to Troutman's head. It's not an inconsequential role. And you're telling me that he never even did a guest spot on Highway to Heaven or anything. Nothing? Anything. But when it's like, I love that Kreese is flying the helicopter. He's like, five seconds. And this guy just goes, party time. And I'm like, that's not bad. We can work with that. It's not bad. He got a couple of lines.

28:06Bill Simmons:I thought for sure he would have been in like a season three Miami Vice episode or yeah. Love boat in 1983. Nothing. And the other funny thing is his character's name was lifer, which is ironic.

28:18Kyle Brandt:They don't cause he's supposed to be in it for life. Right.

28:20Bill Simmons:They don't, they never say his name and I don't know. That's just what they decided name in the script. So anyway, Steve Williams, indoor aviators guy, just a mystery. Uh, I know nothing makes you happy in an action movie when somebody is wearing sunglasses indoors for the entire movie. He might have even had him. Did he have him on in the plane jump at the end or no?

28:39Kyle Brandt:I'm just going to say yes, probably. I think that was it. Steve Williams. It just sounds like an AI fake name, like a create a Madden player. It's Steve Williams. It has nothing to do with anything. One and done.

28:52Bill Simmons:There's got to be a story. First of all, that might not be his real name. There's got to be some story why he's in the movie. You could tell me he was the drug dealer for Mario kasar and andrew jay vajna um you can tell me james cameron owed somebody a favor or cosmatos

29:08Kyle Brandt:any of those guys we'll never know uh isn't it isn't it such a great feeling to turn on this movie and first you get that that horse with the wings running right at you and the second you see that mario kasar i just feel like i'm at home it's such a name that i it makes me so fucking happy

29:23Bill Simmons:well we have a lot of our guys here produced by carol coat pictures you see those names it's just It's just like putting on a warm sweatshirt. Go time. Our guys. Like literally our guys. Yes. Still not sure they were real. I'm still not sure that they weren't fronts for like some sort of Iranian. I know. We'll never know. We'll never know if those people are even real human beings. Screenplay by Sly Stallone and James Cameron.

29:51Kyle Brandt:Yep. Mindblower. That James Cameron.

29:54Bill Simmons:Cameron was hired to write the first draft. He did that at the same time as he was doing Terminator and preparing Aliens. First draft was titled First Blood 2, The Mission. And then Sly basically took it over and strong-armed it.

30:07Kyle Brandt:It's an odd pairing, right? Because Cameron Knight is just, he's Team Arnold. And he's making Terminator. And he's just in the middle of that, writes with Sly. And then apparently went in all kinds of different directions with the script.

30:19Bill Simmons:Yeah, and it lasted a couple years where they're making it. And then his career takes off. He's Team Arnold. Maybe Sly didn't like that. Sly had kind of a dicky quote about him later.

30:29Kyle Brandt:Oh, great.

30:29Bill Simmons:I think that James Cameron is a brilliant talent, but I thought the politics were important, such as a right-wing stance coming from Troutman and his nemesis Murdoch, contrasted by Rambo's obviously neutrality, which I believe is explained in Rambo's final speech. So I don't know, Cameron wasn't delivering something for Sly.

30:49Kyle Brandt:You know what it is, Bill? People get pissed off when you do this podcast and you like shit on the movie. It's like supposed to be like loving the movie. I don't like Sly shitting on this movie. And I feel like we have to fight through that because I love it. You love it. And I'm not here for Sly constantly saying this movie sucks. I don't like it.

31:05Bill Simmons:Hurts my feelings.

31:06Kyle Brandt:Me too.

31:06Bill Simmons:He also said Cameron, his initial draft, 30 to 40 pages to have any action initiated. Rambo has partnered with a techie sidekick. And he said it was more than politics put in the script. It was a simpler storyline. And then he says, if James Cameron says anything more than that, then he realizes now doing the backstroke badly in a pool of lies.

31:27Kyle Brandt:Oh, Christ. that's something Troutman would say about Rambo

31:31Bill Simmons:so weird so anyway we have Isabov the music score is by our guy Jerry Goldsmith it's popped up a lot of rewatchables the final song Peace in Our Life is sung by Frank Stallone we'll get to that later and then it's directed by George P. Cosmatos who did Cobra a year later and I'm not sure if it worked again it was nominated Best Sound Effects Editing in the Oscars also nominated for seven categories at the 6th Annual Golden Raspberry Awards and one for Worst Picture $25.5 million budget it ultimately made $300.4 million worldwide awesome it was the first film to appear in 2000 plus US theaters and it was third biggest movie of 85 Roger Ebert did not do a written review but he did on his TV show give it a thumbs up and this is the real Roger Ebert real Roger Ebert praised the film's pacing the lack of political bias criticized some logical flaws but said he wasn't bored for a second.

32:29Kyle Brandt:Not a chance.

32:29Bill Simmons:And that he enjoyed the film immensely.

32:32Kyle Brandt:And there's not a shot fired for the first 30 minutes of the movie, but there's a lot of dick swinging, and it's a lot of setting up, and there's the insertion and the helicopter and all that. It's all action, even though there's no shots fired. It's okay. I'm never bored either.

32:44Bill Simmons:It's also high to MTV, 1985. So you can get away. No dialogue is okay for as many scenes as you want. We have a lot to cover. Rewatchable categories coming up. We're going to take one break and come back most rewatchable. Every game day you show up for your team. Now it's your time. Wegovi. Wegovi.

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33:56Bill Simmons:Tremphaya is a prescription medicine used to treat adults with moderately to severely active Crohn's disease and adults with moderately to severely active ulcerative colitis.

34:04Kyle Brandt:Serious allergic reactions, increased risk of infections or lower ability to fight them, and liver problems may occur. Before treatment, get checked for infections and tuberculosis.

34:14Bill Simmons:Tell your doctor if you have an infection, flu-like symptoms, or need a vaccine. Explore what's possible. Ask your doctor about Tremphaya today. Call 1-800-526-7736 to learn more or visit TremfireRadio.com. All right, most rewatchable scene. The opening scene, which also is the Todd Parker Award for Best Character Entrance. Here's Rambo. They set the entire premise up in less than four minutes. We're off. Here's Rambo. He's just hammering some rocks. Here's Troutman. Need ya. And here come the credits. And here comes Kasser and Bajna. And we're ready to go.

34:52Kyle Brandt:I love a pre-credit scene so much, especially one, the first fucking frame of this movie is an explosion. It's a giant ass explosion. It tells you what's coming and he walks over and it's all like, can we win this time? And it's like, yeah, when you walk, yeah! And this Rambo's in fire. It's like getting you fired up like an opening band for the movie. I really like it. And I love that Rambo working in a prison camp breaking bricks and rocks still has just like perfect hair. it's gorgeously conditioned hot as hell like always he's not sweaty he's not sunburned looks awesome we get exchanges

35:29Bill Simmons:like I'm sorry they sent you to such a hell hill I've seen worse yep sir do we get to win this time this time it's up to you Mario Kassar and Andrew J and Vashem present

35:44Kyle Brandt:I relate to all that dialogue too because you know Bill we got these conflicting networks and merging and stuff but it's like when i come on the rewatchables at least here i know where i stand you know what i mean like that's this is me i feel good here yeah rambo's airplane jump mishap i have here um i don't

36:03Bill Simmons:even know is this beyond a nitpick they can't figure out how to get rambo to jump out of a fucking plane he's the number one green beret we have his gear is gonna get stuck who made these

36:14Kyle Brandt:travel plans, Sean McVay? It's a disaster from the start. And it's fun, though. It's fun because he cuts loose the weapons.

36:24Bill Simmons:Yeah.

36:25Kyle Brandt:So they have this thing, and he's like, he's cutting free his equipment, sir! And you get these great reaction shots from Troutman and Murdoch. And it's like, they're talking to the microphone, and Sly's like, oh, shit. He's not going to have any of those guns now or anything. This is going to be on. It'll be fine.

36:39Bill Simmons:Yeah. Would you have had this scene before when he meets Murdoch and Kreese as a rewatchable scene? I thought about it. Yeah. Okay. We'll add that too. I have more thoughts on that in the next category. Rambo and his new friend Coe on the pontoon boat with some of the worst rom-com dialogue in a while, including to survive a war, you got to become a war. And then his long story where he says, I guess I was expendable. And it's like, ah, John Rambo. He's got feelings. She brings that up later. And then she says, what bring you good luck? And he holds up his knife and he says, I guess this. It's just great courting.

37:22Bill Simmons:It's like when Harry Metzauer or this, I don't know. It's one or the other.

37:25Kyle Brandt:It's so hot. And I just, it's so funny that through the 80s, giant knives were these incredible Freudian devices that they would just use. What bring you luck, Rambo? Oh, just this giant metal penis I'm going to whip out. Like it's so, there's no subtle to it whatsoever. But it is funny that the killing machine is kind of trying to flirt a little bit. He reaches out and touches her necklace and he's like, this is cute. What's your sign? Do you watch Vax and Life? He's trying to flirt with her a little bit and I can't blame him.

37:56Bill Simmons:Do you like Michael Jackson's thriller? Yeah. Pontoon Boat again. Pontoon Boat goes evil. Rambo kills everyone. Grenade launcher. Rambo's getting hung from behind after he kills the first six guys. Forgets about the seventh guy. breaks away, stabs him through the bed, jumps, and then it cuts to Julia Nixon going, you made it, Rambo! And we're on. We're off and running. And then she tells him, Rambo, you not expendable. It's like, oh, you kids might make it.

38:29Kyle Brandt:Meanwhile, he's thinking like 30 years from now, I'm going to make some kind of stupid movies called The Expendables with a bunch of action stars and I'll make more money. Right, that's probably where he got it, right? Yes, for sure he got it there.

38:39Bill Simmons:Next one, Murdoch and the helicopter guys bone over the Rambo escape, abort the mission immediately, get a good Murdoch-Troutman argument.

38:48Kyle Brandt:Fucking great. And the shot of Kreese looking up in the helicopter. It's got the energy of when you're in an elevator and someone's running for the elevator and you pretend that you're watching, you're going to press the closed door button a little bit. And you're like, oh, sorry, I missed you. You'll have to get the next one. They just leave him hanging.

39:04Bill Simmons:Question. I can do this later for Unanswerables. I'll do it now. Is this a better movie if they push Crenna out of the plane?

39:12Kyle Brandt:and karenna has to join sly on the lamb but he's hurt he lands it's like a 20-foot drop

39:18Bill Simmons:hurts his ankle so he's got to limp the whole time and rambo has to worry about troutman as well

39:25Kyle Brandt:it's not because he's got the pow's and because i like troutman going back to murdoch and be like what the hell are you doing you just pissed off rambo yes that you need that moment you're the

39:35Bill Simmons:one who's making the mistake yeah what's that rambo rambo evil music so good um rambo gets electrocuted by victor maitland and nicole yokich i don't know if you realize that was nicole yokich

39:46Kyle Brandt:as the uh i didn't it looks like his dad that's four-time mb mvp nicole yokich 2023 finals mvp

39:55Bill Simmons:his first movie he's not credited um but it does get they give him the microphone can you tell these guys where you are murdoch lightning i'm coming to get you perfect lightning um that's

40:08Kyle Brandt:your favorite it it's shit it's up there wildly telegraphed punch by stallone who has no restraints no handcuffs and he does that thing on the mic stand where like he almost squeezes it to death and then he hits yokich's dad with it and you got to see that coming but then all hell breaks loose and the rest of the movie is nuts.

40:29Bill Simmons:Honestly, a terrible job by them. Terrible. Maybe at least have his hands tied as he grabs it. Why are you just letting him run amok?

40:37Kyle Brandt:And they even say, leave one of your men here. This is Rambo, dude. You got to leave more than one Keystone cop in South Vietnam.

40:44Bill Simmons:Bad scouting by them. I don't think their advanced metrics department really understood what they were dealing with here with Rambo. Next one is Rambo's new girlfriend gets shot 28 times, but not before they kiss. they get one kiss in what's sexier I wrote this down what's sexier than a guy who hasn't showered or brushed his feet in four days and was also nearly drowned in a pool of feces it's make out time baby

41:10Kyle Brandt:give me some of that he's still got leeches inside his mouth and he's rounding first next to the river I got more thoughts that scene's fucking incredible and let me throw let me throw a bone to Arnold Arnold wasn't doing that shit in his movies and the studios would come to him and say, Arnold, we need a love scene. He'd be like, I'm not doing a love scene. I'm getting hunted by the predator. I'm not doing it. In Commando, they want to win. He's like, my daughter has been abducted. I'm not kissing Radon Chong. Stallone's like, yeah, fuck. Yeah, sure. Makeout scene. And also like, when's the last time do you think John Rambo kissed a woman?

41:48Kyle Brandt:It may be a fucking long time. And then she's like, let's go, Rambo. He's like, I don't know. Let's stay here. Like that's gotta be very confusing time for him too.

41:57Bill Simmons:I'm going to guess his breath was terrible. Like she probably was going to go in for more, but it had to have smelled like just a rancid dead body. You need Altoid Rambo. One minute. Rambo, here's some scope. Rambo murder montage. I just wrote down that one where he just kills everybody because they killed his girlfriend. They shot her 28 times. Somehow she didn't die right away, but she does.

42:21Kyle Brandt:these are the knife kills where he's going through the jungle this is everybody it's the last half

42:26Bill Simmons:an hour of the movie it peaks with the mud wall when he's comes out of the mud and he uh and stabs that dude or whatever he does has no mud on him two seconds later that it actually i take it back it peaks with the guy who shoots at him 59 times misses every time and rambo starts running and stops, keeps shooting, and Rambo's just taking his time, gets his bow and arrow, boom. That's where the movie goes to another level of unintentional comedy.

42:55Kyle Brandt:That part of that movie is spoofed by Weird Al in UHF, which is hilarious. That's that part. I have an NBA comp for that guy. That guy being unable to shoot Rambo is Charles Smith under the basket against the Bulls, cannot get the layup in, over and over. He's got Jordan. You're going to beat him. You're going to take the series lead even bigger. This guy tries the rifle. He goes to the sidearm. He can't fucking hit Stallone. And then just boom. And Jordan and Horace and Scotty block the shot. And Charles Smith just can't make the fucking basket.

43:31Bill Simmons:I blame his ophthalmologist. Obviously, bad contact lenses or whatever's going on with him. Just couldn't see anything.

43:37Kyle Brandt:Make the shot.

43:38Bill Simmons:And then we get the finish of the slow-mo run jump. which he does in cliffhanger and rambo being underwater being shot at that they don't realize he's under the helicopter comes out of the water like jaws

43:54Kyle Brandt:jumps on the helicopter and kills nicola yokage this this is when the movie is going 200 miles an hour and you can't stop it and for for the real sly heads like you and me there's bombs going off, they're stabbings. But the part that makes me the happiest is as he's diving to avoid the bomb, he goes, because that's the sly noise. If you want to break down sly versus Arnold with just one note, like name that tune. It's versus that's all they do. That's their entire career is based in one note. And sly does some great when he's hanging out the plane.

44:36Kyle Brandt:Arnold's going, ah! That's how those guys perform. So they added in the, ah! And I'm like, I love you, Sly. Never change.

44:45Bill Simmons:So if Sly was in Total Recall and landed outside of Mars, On Mars! He would have been like, ah! He would have gone lower. Hey, I'll see you at the party, Rick. Ah!

45:01Bill Simmons:Rambo helicopter bombing, where he lands the water and does the rope-a-dope, and then gets him. But as he's flying the helicopter, he lets out a Slice Stallone scream for some reason. He's just flying. He's like,

45:15Kyle Brandt:So he's bombing the shit out of the village or just the rockets or whatever. Boom, boom. And like after seven rockets go, he all but looks to camera and does the side of the mouth scream. Fucking awesome. And I laugh out loud as an adult. Out loud in my basement. this is why I love movies because Sly does that shit. It's so gratuitous and it's so awesome.

45:38Bill Simmons:Then he brings back the POWs. Yep. He does the thing where he destroys Murdoch's office and everything culminates with hold on. I gotta get

45:51Kyle Brandt:do it. Do it.

45:52Bill Simmons:I gotta get this ready.

45:55Kyle Brandt:Do it.

46:00Yes!

46:02Kyle Brandt:Play that at my He puts it up.

46:04Bill Simmons:He's like, ah!

46:06Kyle Brandt:I feel like Cosmatos is like, they had it, and he just shot up the office, and he's like, we got 10 minutes. Let's do one more. And for, like, the last 30 rounds, just shoot him in the fucking air and scream for no reason. All right, go roll. Let's go. It's great. It's the best five seconds of the movie.

46:22Bill Simmons:That's what Steve Ballmer's going to do when he finally gets his revenge on Pablo's. Ah! And then destroys Murdoch's office and doesn't kill Murdoch. Nope. There's the classic knife next to the head. And then the last rewatchable scene, we have a Frank Stallone song ending that ends with some really awkward Stallone-Troutman dialogue that I'm guessing James Cameron did not write. Don't hate your country for it. Hate or die for it. What do you want? I want what they want and everyone else wants for our country to love us as much as we love it. They're basically doing First Blood all over again.

47:00Bill Simmons:And we end with, how will you live, John? day by day. And then it just ends. And Frank Stallone comes in with a song called Peace in Our Life. And the chorus is Peace in Our Life. Remember the call. Oh, a cheer for my brothers. Think of them all. Home of the brave. We'll never fail. The strength of our nation belongs to us all. They're like, Hey, Springsteen, born in the USA is huge. Frank, what's your version? I came up with this song called piece of our life how about that okay what's the course give us like a shitty

47:37Kyle Brandt:kirkland brand version of bruce springsteen frank do you think phant bill do you think frank was excited to be included on that project somehow like that his little brothers toss him a bone

47:45Bill Simmons:yeah i pretty much i think he's contributed some of the worst movie music in the history of movies like his his arsenal of bad songs is way up there somehow it's still not worse than the song that ends first blood which yeah so to get ready for these i watched first blood which as you know i love first blood i watched it with my son ben who loved it and then uh it ends and that song comes on and ben ben who's like into this the whole time like not even on his phone that song comes out at the end and he goes dad what the hell is that why did they do that i'm like i don't know and then we watch rambo too which he was definitely on his phone a little more for same thing and he's like why do they do this at the end of these movies i was like i don't know

48:25Kyle Brandt:They go with this weird melancholy track after you've just had, I don't know, poison hair metal for 90 minutes. And then they ended on this down. And also it's weird because Rambo just starts walking to nowhere. He's not going anywhere. It's like he's walking away from the song. I don't know.

48:42Bill Simmons:He's going to a Starbucks. Maybe he's going to get some toothpaste. So what is your most rewatchable scene? Tough question.

48:50Kyle Brandt:The thing that blew my mind the most as a kid, I couldn't believe what I was looking at when he was buried in the mud and comes out and his eye opens. Yeah, so the murder montage.

48:58Bill Simmons:Yeah.

48:59Kyle Brandt:When it becomes a slasher movie for about five minutes, it's that.

49:02Bill Simmons:They basically took first blood when he runs amok and starts taking guys out. And they're like, how can we just do a way better version of this where he actually kills people? What's the most 1985 thing about this movie? I will give you Martin Cove. I will give you Victor Maitland. I will give you a movie ending with a Frank Stallone song or a character saying, do we get to win this time?

49:24Kyle Brandt:I want to say Cove of the ones you had the thing that popped for me is there's this really dramatic moment when they rescue the POW and he's like what year is it? 1985 and it has this big impact like that year is supposed to really mean something so that the fact that they name drop their own year it's almost like saying the name of the movie you said what year it is I also think that scene needed just like give me 30 seconds of levity where the POW is like, wow, 1985. Holy shit, what have I missed? And Rambo's like, you got to see what John Thompson's building at Georgetown. It's fucking incredible.

50:03Kyle Brandt:I got to get you out of here so you can see Jaws. He's missed a lot. We just need a little bit of that.

50:09Bill Simmons:Yeah, I was thinking if I was the POW and I get out, I'm like, what year is it, 1985? My next two questions would have been, did the Red Sox win the World Series? No. Did the Celtics win any titles? Yeah, you won in 84. But like, fuck yeah. 84 really we did yeah how about the pats i just would have gone through all the teams

50:28Kyle Brandt:well the pats were about to go to the super bowl too in 85 the bees did we get to the cup

50:33Bill Simmons:no all right how's my family um the floyd gondali butter in my ass lollipops in my mouth the word

50:40Kyle Brandt:for something i just enjoy what do you got here uh i i got two i will never turn off a knife sharpening scene fucking ever just that and it's he does this same shot in cobra yeah where the night stalker is sharpening his knife it's like sweaty ripped forearms and just slow sharpening of the knife little by little it's always cinematic it's always hot but the other one i have with the bill you know you know how the kids these days they talk about aura farming and your joe burrow is always aura farming. In 1985, a movie was aura farming. Anytime the hero held a huge machine gun with the bullet straps out to the side in his other hand and just shoots him, that was the coolest pose to do.

51:25Kyle Brandt:The Jordan logo silhouette thing was coming, but the holding your own bullet straps as you just blast them all over was so fucking cool. And he does it a bunch of times.

51:35Bill Simmons:Shot down to the ground of all the caps from the bullets, then back to... Yeah, yeah, I'm with you. I love that.

51:40Kyle Brandt:tosses the rifle at the end like it's a bat flip and walks to find murdoch those are i'm always going to be happy buttering my ass knife sharpening and holding your own bullet straps

51:49Bill Simmons:mine is one i've mentioned before but um bad guys shooting basically point blank at our stars and not being able to draw any iron just shooting air balls it always makes me laugh i always enjoy the geometry of it how they have to hide it with the camera angles because you want the guys somewhat close together but it also has to be believable that they're just far away enough that they would have missed these shots, but it's 20 feet away. They're just boom, boom. Can't hit anything. Really ridiculous. What's age the best? What you choose to call hell, he calls home. One of those rare lines that also could have worked in any Halloween movie.

52:29Yeah.

52:30Bill Simmons:It was a horror movie or an action movie line. Pretty great. I also had having a true villain for movies. In the 80s, like you just saw the russian name you saw the russian letters 40 minutes in you're like oh boy the russians yeah oh shit we're they're involved yes i don't know who that is now we just have too many villains i don't even know that there's nothing like that of the immediate impact of

52:56Kyle Brandt:seeing the russian letters no now it's like the machines are gonna kill us all like that's it's but there's a moment in that movie where the pow's are like russian motherfuckers and the russians make an entrance like on their helicopter and their camouflage and it jumps it's like an okay motherfucker jump up a notch right yeah russians there he's making everyone stand for

53:15Bill Simmons:the national anthem yes i have a couple more but what do you have for what's the best it's

53:19Kyle Brandt:troutman i love troutman and i have a take on it troutman is really just a pro wrestling manager he's there to rep his guy he's there to hype this guy he is for this whole movie troutman's like Let me tell you something, Mean Gene. Rambo's the best combat vet I've ever seen. The million-dollar man Ted DiBiase is going to learn he's a pure fighting machine. And if winning the Intercontinental Belt means he has to die in that ring, he will die. SummerSlam, what you call hell, he calls home. He's constantly doing it. And Troutman has all these quippy one-lighters about Rambo, you know, that, like, you're not hunting him.

53:54Kyle Brandt:He's hunting you. I feel like he workshops them. Yeah. I feel like he's got, like, a tape recorder for all his Rambo lines. I just love how he reps Jon and he speaks in these sound bites and he calls him Johnny. I love the Troutman character.

54:07Bill Simmons:The first time we see him, he comes in because somebody's like something about God and he's like, God didn't make Rambo.

54:14Kyle Brandt:I did. That's his entrance. First line of the series. If I was going to fly a little closer to the sun, my next hotter take would be that secretly Troutman is in love with Rambo. And I'd go into that. But you know what, Bill? After the Karate Kid 2 pod, I had so many people on my Instagram comments being like, you guys are crazy about me. Miyagi and LaRusso, like, you take it too far, man. You guys are nuts. I had so many comments about that. And, like, Bill and I think it's kind of strange that, like, a high school kid's only friend is an old man who builds a bedroom for him and travels around the world.

54:45Kyle Brandt:And, like, yeah, I'm not going to apologize for that.

54:46Bill Simmons:I got a long email from somebody who was basically like, you don't understand the pain of losing a father. And Miyagi filled that void for him. Blah, blah, blah. I'm like, or it's fucking weird that these two guys hung out all the time.

55:01Kyle Brandt:Among the comments I got The only thing weird here is you two weirdos Then it's how sick do you have to be And then my favorite one Gay guys are always looking for gay stuff And then he goes on to say That you and I quote Definitely have puffed a few pickles And I'm like That's that guy's Instagram comment for the day We're just talking Karate Kid 2 You go with it where you want So screw it I think Troutman is in love with Rambo You think he puffed Rambo's pickle? this guy does

55:34Bill Simmons:I have a couple more what's aged the best for me Cameron's original screenplay began with Troutman finding Rambo in a psychiatric hospital instead of a prison and it ended up getting changed to the prison filed it away used it for Terminator 2

55:49Kyle Brandt:Sarah Connor doing pull ups in the room sure that would have worked

55:53Bill Simmons:Hot Shots Part 2 a fairly funny movie but they get a lot of They basically take everything that's in Rambo anyway, which was funny, and dial it up a notch. But I actually thought UHF probably did it better.

56:07Kyle Brandt:UHF does it beautifully.

56:09Bill Simmons:Yeah. I love that part of the movie. Here's my number one, though. So Rambo meets Murdoch. I just personally love reading the resume scenes to set the place.

56:21Kyle Brandt:Oh, so do I. Do this. And he does the Rambo, John Jay, born July 6, 1947.

56:29Bill Simmons:Indian-German descent, joined Army, and just goes through helicopter and language qualified, 59 confirmed kills. I was thinking what a mistake it was that we didn't do this the first time you were on the rewatchables, where I was like, Kyle Brandt, Princeton football, real world Chicago, worked for Jim Rohn for nine years, good morning football with Peter Schrager. Now he's here. I'm going to start reading the resume for everybody that comes on.

56:55Kyle Brandt:And you look at me like skeptically over your glasses. care to explain why you never did the real world challenge son and I'm like well it was a tough time life sir a dark time

57:04Bill Simmons:were you afraid of CT what was going on there

57:07Kyle Brandt:anytime a character says I've been looking over your file you're about to get some good shit

57:12Bill Simmons:yeah so they say 59 confirmed kills 2 silver star 4 bronze 4 purple hearts distinguished service cross and a medal of honor Solid, solid resume. I was kind of expecting a little bit more. If this guy's the Michael Jordan of American Killing Machines, I was expecting like 559 kills.

57:33Kyle Brandt:Well, doesn't he about to have his 63-point game against the Celtics in the Garden? Because this is coming now, right?

57:40Bill Simmons:Good point, good point. Great shot, Gordor Award, most cinematic shot. I don't know. Probably the knife sharpening or when he's tying the bandana on with his oiled muscles. I think the bandana shot is the most gif-able.

57:51Kyle Brandt:I think the greatest shot is the Russian soldier and over his shoulder, the eye just opens in the mud. And as a kid, it's the coolest thing you've ever seen.

58:00Bill Simmons:It's a good call. Hans Gruber's killer villain ranking. Petrovnikov, whatever his name was. Probably a two out of 10 for me. I don't feel like they really developed that character at all. I didn't really believe the Russian accent either.

58:14Kyle Brandt:He had my interest when we were talking about putting a smoldering knife inside of POW's eyeball. But then he didn't have the balls to do it. the real Gruber would have immediately put it in one of his eyes and says, now tell me or I'll do the second one. That's how you get on. So pretty, I have like three, five.

58:29Bill Simmons:I left you one. Murdoch, I think is a seven or a seven and a half though. How come? Lies about where he served in Nam in 66. That's pretty good. Stolen valor. Lies about the mission. Lies to Troutman. Leaves Rambo just to die with the POWs. Yeah. And he's just trying to save his ass left and right. So Hannibal Lecter took care of him later. Yes, that's true.

58:55Kyle Brandt:I wonder if there's some expanded universe where that's Murdoch and like he went into law enforcement after he left. Oh, this is great.

59:02Bill Simmons:Murdoch gets kicked out of the military and then just becomes a security guard in whatever city that was, Chicago.

59:10Kyle Brandt:Baltimore.

59:11Bill Simmons:Yeah. Kid Cudi pursued a happiness award for best needle drop. We don't really have one, but I do have a new award. and I'm putting this in the category list the Frank Stallone Award for Worst Needle Drop perfect perfect I think Frank Frank makes the rundown if you hear Frank it's probably not gonna be good with that said I do enjoy the Staying Alive song yeah it's fine he made contact a few times not bad was there a better title for this movie so we could've gone First Blood 2 we could've gone Rambo 2 instead we did Rambo First Blood Part 2 to set up because Stallone wanted the third one to be called Rambo 3.

59:53Bill Simmons:Honestly, nobody calls this movie Rambo First Blood Part 2. Not one person.

59:57Kyle Brandt:I remember as a kid being confused about it. Why wasn't it just Rambo 2? Again, I think Rocky slides like I need the title of the movie to be my character like I am with Rocky. We're going to make that right on the second one. It was probably smart. Just call it Rambo 2.

1:00:12Bill Simmons:What do you have for a flex category?

1:00:15Kyle Brandt:all right well i had a couple options i was going to repurpose the judd nelson guy who's in his own movie and doing his own thing into the uh romeo dobbs guy who's in his own game and doing his own thing and we're not sure what planet he's on i was gonna do that one for you right but instead i mean it's sitting right there somebody's got to do it i got the elizabeth shu inventing cold fusion award uh for our girl co listen yes of course an attractive woman could be in the military in South Vietnam. This girl is outrageously hot with an Uzi in the jungle. And they do this thing where they get her in an evening gown and makeup because she poses as a prostitute to get in the camp.

1:00:56Kyle Brandt:And then she's in that for the rest of her life. And wouldn't you also, speaking of files, don't you think Troutman might have said to Rambo that like, by the way, you know, this contact you're going to have, she's great at covert ops and infantry weapons, but I got to tell you, Johnny, this is a real looker. I mean, a full smokestack, Johnny. There's nothing in that about it that even tips it off. She's like a model they found in Hawaii and God bless her. She had a long career, but she's disarmingly attractive as this person in the middle of the jungle running around.

1:01:29Bill Simmons:I fully support the casting. I think if you're going to nitpick, I feel like everybody in the jungle would have remembered her at some point. Right? Yeah.

1:01:39Kyle Brandt:You don't forget her.

1:01:39Bill Simmons:In the jungle message boards, they're like, Like, yo, there's this one, this Lady Coe, just a smoke show. Just watch out for her.

1:01:47Kyle Brandt:Lady Coe stuns in Uzi Chic.

1:01:52Bill Simmons:Serving tea. Butch's girlfriend award weak link in the film. We could have gone with what you just said. The bigger thing is Rambo just should have died in multiple scenes in this movie, including when he comes back after the aborted helicopter escape and all the guys come in closer to him, but they capture him instead of just shooting him when they've been shooting at him for the last five minutes.

1:02:14Kyle Brandt:I know.

1:02:15Bill Simmons:I don't understand why the Russians didn't kill them. Why didn't they inbound his hands? Why nobody was able to shoot him when he's basically one against 200? And he just never even gets like a bullet like glancing his arm. Nothing. Nobody touches him.

1:02:32Kyle Brandt:There's one point where Ko's like, oh, you hurt bad. It's like, not really. He just had 50 guys shoot at him. He's fine. um there's a re it's a really cumbersome thing that the russians are trying to get him to radio in that he's not here and don't come it doesn't make a lot of sense they probably should have

1:02:47Bill Simmons:just yeah that part oh that's not great what saves the worst oh god no i i got butch you're

1:02:52Kyle Brandt:gonna love the weak link the ending of the movie is not satisfying enough first of all murdoch doesn't really get any justice and then more importantly there should have been a fight between Rambo and Kreese. And I'm thinking maybe a knife fight or a fist fight because Kreese is Kreese. They don't like each other from the beginning. And I think it could have had one of those real, like Mel Gibson versus Gary Busey on the lawn or Dalton versus Jimmy, where it's like, Rambo, I always wanted to try you. And then he gets the upper hand on me. It's just like, you're not so bad, Rambo. We needed that fight.

1:03:29Kyle Brandt:And I also think we needed a better fight between Nikola Jokic and Rambo on the helicopter because the Russian doesn't speak at all. And I was thinking that at one point during the fight when he has the upper hand on Rambo and he maybe has a knife to his throat, I just think he gets right in Rambo's ear and he says, I used to fuck guys like you and Gulag. And that would be like, oh shit, now we got something. More fights and killing at the end, I think, when Rambo gets avenged. I mean, he punches Kreese and that's it. It's kind of dumb.

1:04:01Bill Simmons:it's a really great point about crease i think the solution would have been because he he lands on the plane with the pow's yeah and he goes to find murdoch but crease greets him yes and it was like good to see you alive or whatever he said and rambo punches him in the stomach and then knocks him out i think the move maybe is he goes by everybody and goes to see murdoch but crease

1:04:22Kyle Brandt:is in the way oh yeah yeah and it's just the two of them and they have like a little like fight in

1:04:28Bill Simmons:the uh you know in the first room before he gets to murdoch might have been moved then we could have seen some karate crease could have done some you know yeah imagine if he did all that

1:04:38Kyle Brandt:cobra kai shit that would be great and then the craziest thing is that william zabka's there too

1:04:43Bill Simmons:holding his holding a second place trophy that's right what's age the worst um this was devastating this is in the research Ko was killed Rambo's holding her and if you watch it it cuts pretty quickly away apparently they ran this movie for the test audiences Ko dies and Rambo's holding her and then he goes no no and screams no three times and the camera zooms out and apparently the test audiences thought this was absolutely hysterical put it in And we're laughing. So I looked for this this morning. I was looking for it all over the place. Stallone has destroyed all copies. But so they kind of abruptly cut away from her dying.

1:05:32Bill Simmons:And it was because of the three no's that made test audiences laugh their asses off. And I can't think of anything you and I would have enjoyed more.

1:05:39Kyle Brandt:Bill, I was moved when you just did it right now. Like I was into that. We need that. And if they had to know now, the stuff that the audience is laughing at, keep that in. That's the good stuff, guys.

1:05:51Bill Simmons:Yeah, this is a comedy action movie. Yes. There was a tie-in video game called Rambo, produced for basically all the systems in the 86. Bad video game. Really disappointing. I don't understand how they fucked that one up, because this is as video games were starting to get better, and this is pretty easy. He's dropped this guy. He has a mission. Now he's going to complete that. I don't understand how they botched that one.

1:06:15Kyle Brandt:Typically, it's time frame-based. They have to rush it to get out in time with the movie. Yeah. The better video game legacy for this movie is a great game called Akari Warriors that they made on Nintendo. And you could play side by side and the guys all looked like Rambo with the headbands and stuff. But the IP wasn't directly linked or it was and then fell off. But the Rambo game, you're talking about sucked I had it.

1:06:36Bill Simmons:The only other thing I had for what's age the worst is I'm a big fan of the Michigan Action franchise, Chuck Norris. Yeah. Missing in Action 1 is effectively the plot for this movie. And it comes out a year before. and then Missing in Action 2 comes out same year as this movie which is a prequel. We go back to see how he escapes. Now James Cameron started working on the script in 83 Missing in Action. I'm not accusing plagiarism here. I'm just saying that Missing in Action 1 came out and was basically the same plot as this movie. This is just a thing that happened.

1:07:12Kyle Brandt:There was a lot of copying of homework going on right now. A lot.

1:07:15Bill Simmons:Yeah. What do you have for what's age the worst? Anything?

1:07:18Kyle Brandt:A lot we covered, obviously, you know, listen, the depiction of the Viet Cong, the exploitation of the POWs, the characterization of the Vietnamese. You know what's the worst? Mortars. There's a great mortar scene and they're very cinematic, but like in the mid 80s to still be using it, you got two people running through this valley. They're not even hitting them with the mortar. These guys can't hit them with a gun. What makes you think they're going to be able to do the geometry and the trajectory of basically what amounts to like war cornhole if the target was moving? Great cinematic stuff.

1:07:47Kyle Brandt:It is, but not effective weaponry by the mid-80s. You got to leave that behind.

1:07:52Bill Simmons:Ruffalo Hanna-Rubinac, Partridge Overacting Award. We covered this earlier. It's now the Rambo II Underacting Award. The CR thinks Luke Wilson could have been Harrison Ford Hottest Take Award. I think this is my hottest take in a while. Let's go. And as you know, I love this movie. Yeah.

1:08:11Kyle Brandt:Rambo II.

1:08:12Bill Simmons:1985 Vietnam movies. I think I've watched Missing in Action 2 more times than Rambo 2 I'm a huge Missing in Action 2 guy it has one of the random great scenes of the entire 80s at the end when Chuck Norris has to basically this really evil guy is torturing him and the other POWs and he's just like the worst guy and at the end they just end in this cabin and it's just the two of them and they just have this fight to the death and it's one of the best fights to the deaths of that whole decade and maybe the last 45 years the movie itself's not that good but the fight to the death it's like this is like the end of karate kid multiplied by a hundred and chuck like this is a really good scene and i just feel like i've watched that scene more times than any scene in this movie even though i've probably seen this movie 20 times i just i feel like i'm letting you

1:09:03Kyle Brandt:down i've not seen that movie it's i wish i could be there for you but it was a cable rewatchable

1:09:08Bill Simmons:It was just on a lot for like a year and it would always suck me in. But what do you have for how to stay?

1:09:14Kyle Brandt:Well, I'm going to watch that movie and I'm going to watch the movie where Troutman gets raped. So I got a full weekend ahead of me. The Rape of Richard Beck.

1:09:21Bill Simmons:Yeah. Go hunt that down on YouTube.

1:09:22Kyle Brandt:All right. Here's a movie you've seen. We're talking Sly versus Schwarzenegger. We're talking all their great movies in the mid 80s. Predator is probably in my top five movies ever made. Dude, Predator rips off Rambo 2 big time. Let me run it down. Big time. Here we go. We travel to a faraway jungle that is actually shot in Mexico. The best in the business arrives with an older officer there. He immediately sniffs out the bureaucrat who's wearing the tie. There's a nighttime insertion into the jungle and something goes immediately wrong. They arrive at a village. There's hostages. There's a shootout.

1:09:55Kyle Brandt:There's an indigenous woman who becomes an ally. Then he loses all his modern weapons and has to resort to a bow and arrow. He covers himself in mud to conceal himself from the enemy. there's these other primitive MacGyver type weapons and at the end of the movie when he's got the bad guy dead to rights he has the weapon over his hand and then he drops it and decides not to kill him. There's a lot of Sly getting his homework copied by Schwarzenegger and I am a Predator guy and we did Predator years ago you, me, Shay, and CR but to the note I feel like Predator just had his hand in this Rambo 2 cookie jar.

1:10:29Bill Simmons:It's a compelling case.

1:10:30Kyle Brandt:It's a lot. The covering in mud and everything and the guy in the tie it's very close. Really speaks to the

1:10:37Bill Simmons:rivalry.

1:10:38Kyle Brandt:That's what I'm saying.

1:10:39Bill Simmons:Not only do I not like you, I'm going to steal some stuff from your movie. Casting what ifs. There's three mediocre ones and then a really good one.

1:10:49Kyle Brandt:I can't wait.

1:10:50Bill Simmons:Dolph Lundgren was initially Podofsky. Stallone realized he was also going to be Drago. Pulled him. Lee Marvin was supposed to be Colonel Troutman in the first film. Turned it down. Turned down Murdoch for the second one. They really wanted Lee Marvin. It ends up being Charles Napier. And then they were filming a lot of this movie in Mexico where there were really no Asian actors. They had to go to Chinese restaurants and get people working in those restaurants as extras in the local Chinese restaurants. But this one was amazing. The Caraco producers, our guys, they really wanted Rambo to have a partner for the POW rescue mission.

1:11:29Bill Simmons:They wanted John Travolta to play Rambo's sidekick. Is that true? And Stallone vetoed the idea because they were buddies from Staying Alive. Can you... Yo, what is going on here? He's like Vinnie Barbarino in Vietnam with Rambo. By the way, I think I want to see that movie. Hey, Johnny, show's kind of foxy, right? Oh, my God. That's crazy. He goes giving me the googly eyes.

1:11:59Kyle Brandt:Yeah, there was going to be a scene. I don't know if you know this, they're walking through the jungle and Rambo's buddy's like, hey, Johnny, you know what they call a quarter pounder with cheese in Ho Chi Minh City? They don't call it a quarter pounder with cheese. Nah, man, they got the metric system being done. I don't know what the fucking quarter pounder is. It's just back and forth buddy humor. I think it's a better movie. I'm in on it. That's awesome.

1:12:22Bill Simmons:Joey Pants, where are best that guy? Are we going? Steven Burkoff or Charles Napier?

1:12:27Kyle Brandt:I don't think I knew his name was Charles Napier. I don't I know his work very well but I don't think if you ask me what is this actor's name I would know it also like I think it's Napier because he shows up in the cable guy and he's a cop in blues just playing his sound salams character as like a joke I think it's Napier but if you know his name that well he has a more important movie

1:12:50Bill Simmons:or a more important part in the movie Dion Waiter's a word I mean it's done it's indoor aviators guy Steve Williams is lifer

1:12:58Kyle Brandt:Forget about it.

1:12:59Bill Simmons:When he doesn't let Troutman leave and he just puts his leg on the chair to block him. Awesome.

1:13:04Kyle Brandt:Yes.

1:13:04Bill Simmons:Loved it. And then recasting couch director of City. Obviously, Travolta is the answer. I have a recasting song.

1:13:12Kyle Brandt:Oh, for the end?

1:13:14Bill Simmons:For the end. What if it just kicks it into Born in the USA by Springsteen as he's walking away? That would have been fucking incredible. And he's just walking through.

1:13:24Kyle Brandt:Yeah. Born. That would have been awesome. I don't know if Bruce would have signed off on that. I'm going to say Bruce would not have signed off.

1:13:35Bill Simmons:Anyway, okay. We're going to take one more break and then finish the pod. This episode is brought to you by Panda Express. Telling someone you love them, it isn't always easy, but showing them through food, sometimes that's better than words, especially when that food's wok cooked at Panda Express, a Joe House favorite. Pick from delicious classics like orange chicken, honey walnut shrimp, Kung Pao chicken, and black pepper sirloin steak. Perfect for when you're watching the team you love or eating with the person you love. Have you eaten yet? Click or tap the banner to order or visit a Panda Express near you.

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1:14:42Bill Simmons:All right, so Craig's not with us today because he's traveling, so he didn't get his flex category, but we are going to go right to Half-Assed Internet Research. Film was shot in Mexico and Thailand. Sadly, a special effects guy was accidentally killed during one of the waterfall explosions. Cliff Wenger lost his footing and fell to his death, so sorry about that. Video was released in early 86, sold 425 ,000 units on opening day. Let's go. We should mention, those movies were$80 back then? Yeah.

1:15:15Kyle Brandt:This is... when they would come out to buy, they would make them impossibly expensive for some reason, but that's just how it was for a while.

1:15:20Bill Simmons:Because they wanted you to rent them, I guess. So anyway.

1:15:23Kyle Brandt:But sometimes you'd run through that stop sign, just fucking buy it. I don't care what, I'm getting Rambo too.

1:15:27Bill Simmons:So they broke the record set by Ghostbusters. Film was banned in the Soviet Union. Fucking cowards. At the time of the film, the time of the filming, we still had 2 ,500 real-life Vietnam POWs.

1:15:43Kyle Brandt:Sorry to hear that.

1:15:44Bill Simmons:Uh... This, I'm just going to read this verbatim because this was in the research. Let's do it. Many funny things happened during the shoot, including Stallone getting pantsed by Crenna during an interview by Maria Shriver. As retaliation slag through a cream pie in Crenna's face during his respective interview. Also, mud fights between the actors were common. I have no idea if this is true.

1:16:09Kyle Brandt:I just, he was on the hot seat right now as the Steven Seagal shitting on himself award for most unbelievable on-set story.

1:16:15Bill Simmons:That could have been in the category, I guess. I probably should have put that as a Seagal.

1:16:20Kyle Brandt:Crenna doesn't strike me as the pantsing type of knucklehead.

1:16:24Bill Simmons:Maybe he was really the rape of Richard Beck. Maybe he was really going through something.

1:16:29Kyle Brandt:Or maybe it was Mariva Shriver and Stallone wanted to be pants. Yeah, maybe he's Stallone and Astrid. Who knows?

1:16:35Bill Simmons:What did you think was the body count of this movie?

1:16:39Kyle Brandt:Well, doesn't he say he has 50-some confirmed kills in his entire military before this. If he'd already had, let's say, 56 or whatever the number is, it's like 40 maybe.

1:16:52Bill Simmons:85 total, 74 from Rambo. Holy shit. I think the grenade launchers from the helicopter probably padded the numbers a little bit. Apex Mountain, Slice Stallone, it's either this or Rocky IV, but he's on the mountain literally and figuratively because he's climbing the mountain in Rocky IV doing Drugo!

1:17:16Kyle Brandt:Yeah, and same year.

1:17:18Bill Simmons:It's 85. This is about as apex mountainy as it gets. Vietnam movies... I'm going to say no. I'm going to say late 70s for quality, and then I think, honestly, Platoon winning the Oscar. He won the Best Picture Oscar. I don't know how that's not apex mountain, right?

1:17:37Kyle Brandt:I think it's Platoon, and I know people go hard for some of the ones in the 70s, but I think it's platoon.

1:17:43Bill Simmons:Plus after that, we get full metal jacket. We get casualties of war. We're still going all the way through the 80s. Ronald Reagan, this might have been apex mountain for him right here. Second term, Rambo, he's battling the Russians. His popularity is probably never higher. He's still relatively healthy, I think. So I would say that.

1:18:02Kyle Brandt:I was going to go, I was going to say Uncle Sam.

1:18:05Bill Simmons:Uncle Sam and Ronald Reagan.

1:18:08Kyle Brandt:Is this it? Like United States of America. Are we there?

1:18:11Bill Simmons:Yeah, we just cleaned up in the Summer Olympics. We're battling Russia.

1:18:15Kyle Brandt:McDonald's, drinking Coca-Cola, Mary Lou Retton's everywhere. Every movie's pretty good.

1:18:19Bill Simmons:Michael Jordan's here.

1:18:20Kyle Brandt:Let's go with 85 bears.

1:18:22Bill Simmons:Julian Nixon, yes. The Cold War. I mean, you have this and then you have Rocky IV six months later, plus all the other things I mentioned. I do feel like this is probably the peak, 85. We were still afraid of a nuclear war, but having fun with it.

1:18:38Kyle Brandt:I think what hurts the case here is there's no nuke talk in this movie. Not that I can think of. And nuke talk was everywhere there.

1:18:45Bill Simmons:Yeah. Grenade launchers. I don't really have any of their Apex Mountain stuff. Oh, Martin Cove?

1:18:54Kyle Brandt:No. No, I think it's still Kid 1. Okay. Yeah. But we've had this conversation. Is this Apex Mountain for knives in movies? Because knives were really fucking hot at this time. And hear me out. But Crocodile Dundee did a whole thing with knives and they have a whole scene about that's a knife, that's a knife. I almost think it might be Paul Hogan a year later, one-upping, even Rambo's knife is iconic.

1:19:18Bill Simmons:Well, so that would tie into Cobra too then. So Cobra and Crocodile Dundee together. Yeah, that's right. We're a year away. We're setting up Apex Mountain for knives. It's still a year away. And plus we had the Ginzu ads at this point.

1:19:31Kyle Brandt:Big time, huge.

1:19:33Bill Simmons:Cruise or Hanks Cruise?

1:19:36Kyle Brandt:I think Cruz somewhere when this movie's being shot he's on the set of Legends Ridley Scott and he sees Rambo hanging on the side of a plane he's like yes someday Sylvester Stallone thank you and he was like someday that's what I'm gonna do and Ridley Scott's like get over there

1:19:54Bill Simmons:kid files it away fired up the Borat Sagadov Rancid Body Odor Award

1:20:00Kyle Brandt:so glad to hear it

1:20:02Bill Simmons:normally you'd give it to Rambo here after dangling in a pool of sewage, but no, it's got to be his POW buddy who he carries on his shoulders and Rambo probably has no sense of smell left, I'm guessing, at that point, but there's no way. I'm just... I don't think anyone smells good in this movie, honestly. I think you could give it across the board. Maybe Coe smells okay, but for the most part, we're just in a hot jungle. There's no showers. There's sewage everywhere. I just think it's a nasal frenzy.

1:20:36Kyle Brandt:Can you first of all, imagine that poor bastard POW who's been having rats and spiders on him for how many years he gets freed and the first person he runs into is Coe. And she's like, holy shit, where did you come from? Am I hallucinating? Also, to the body odor, I could make the hot take is that I think Murdoch might've smelled worse than the POW. Oh, interesting. Because he's wildly perspirating for the entire movie. True, he's got the big sweat patches. Oh yeah, like that's his little move. He's patting himself. I don't think there's a lot of speed stick around there. I like this.

1:21:07Bill Simmons:So you have Murdoch. Fandle odds are that he was 20 to 1 smelliest guy in the movie, but you like it. It's like the Rams will miss the playoffs at plus 500. It's like I'm zagging. I like this.

1:21:18Kyle Brandt:This is like the Titans winning the AFC this year is that Murdoch somehow is the smelliest one in the movie. I like it. Great question.

1:21:27Bill Simmons:The Rick Cicchetti Guard Mead Award for most memorable death by a security guard or other bystander who the movie treats is inconsequential, but who probably had a spouse and kids who love him. Rambo gets in that helicopter and at some point it's just him and the pilot and it cuts to a wide shot and he just pushes the pilot to his death. That poor guy probably didn't want to be there. I don't even know who he's. He seemed American, not Russian. Just doing like a and all of a sudden falling to his death.

1:21:55Kyle Brandt:Can you imagine? Rambo has just beaten the big Russian guy. Then he goes towards the front, takes out that fucking knife and the guy's like, I'm just jumping I'm not messing with this guy

1:22:07Bill Simmons:it's not even like he jumps in the water it's like just rocks no he's to his death

1:22:11Kyle Brandt:it happens in T2 again the T1000 gets in the helicopter and goes get out and the guy just jumps out of the helicopter

1:22:18Bill Simmons:First Blood has it too when he comes out of the cave after the rats and all that stuff and he jumps in that jeep and just tells the guy get out and the guy just jumps they're going 40 miles an hour Picket Knits So we learned in the beginning, Rambo serving an eight year prison sentence for assaulting a police officer, murdering a deputy. I think they can frame that guy who falls out of the helicopter because Rambo threw the rock. That's at least like involuntary manslaughter. Attempted murder of a sheriff. He does shoot Will Teasel a few times through the roof. Destroys how many millions of dollars of property?

1:23:02Bill Simmons:He destroys an entire town. $10 million?

1:23:05Kyle Brandt:Probably$10 million. $15 million? No.

1:23:07Bill Simmons:And they're like, well, he did some good stuff in the war. Eight years. I feel like it's more than eight years. That feels like a 20-year sentence at least.

1:23:18Kyle Brandt:Yeah, you can't kill law enforcement. And I know that he was under duress and all that, but yeah, probably. He got a very favorable judge. Great lawyer. Yes, great lawyer.

1:23:27Bill Simmons:what's going on in the beginning with the prisoners and rambo just hammering rocks i'm not sure

1:23:34Kyle Brandt:it looks metal it looks really heavy metal looks cool what is what's the ultimate goal of this are they trying to split the rocks in half are they trying to get jewelry out of this what are they doing they're like they're looking for rubies and stuff no i think they i guess they make like gravel and stuff and try to need smaller rocks from big rocks that get carried out of there It's just basically supposed to look badass when he's swinging that hammer. That's all.

1:23:58Bill Simmons:Okay. Now, you're going to know this better than me because you're a big workout guy.

1:24:05Kyle Brandt:Okay.

1:24:05Bill Simmons:Rambo is absolutely jacked but doesn't eat anything for this entire movie. This is a great call, Bill. Do you lose muscle mass if you're not eating at all? Don't you need to eat like 5 ,000 calories a day to sustain that? Immediately.

1:24:18Kyle Brandt:First of all, he needs at least 250 grams of protein every single day. he needs to be down on the ground doing diamond push-ups and pull-ups every five seconds even co at one point's like you want some food rambos like no like no like you need like a cliff bar or something dude i love that you brought that up because like real workout nerds watch this movie and be like that that thing's going those kind of abs will go in a few days if you don't hammer

1:24:42Bill Simmons:that okay perfect i feel like my instincts were right um rambos there for how many days do we think?

1:24:49Kyle Brandt:36 hours. Well, 36 hours till the extraction and then probably another day or two after that. So maybe three or four days.

1:24:57Bill Simmons:No facial hair stubble at all. We know Stallone can grow a beard. Oh yeah. Nothing like a little goatee, nothing.

1:25:04Kyle Brandt:And you know what would have been badass and I bet it got cut? How about he shaves with that knife like McDone D does? That would have been a cool scene.

1:25:11Bill Simmons:Yeah. I have one more, but did you have any nitpicks? Cause I have one more good one.

1:25:15Kyle Brandt:Yeah, during the helicopter scene, which is pretty much Daenerys, Targaryen, and Dracarys just setting fire to the entire city. Is he positive which of those shacks has the POWs in it? Because they all look pretty much the same. He blows up 15 different edifices, but then leaves the one that has all the American POWs. And it makes me nervous every time as he's losing his mind and screaming at the camera.

1:25:38Bill Simmons:He's only seen this once from the ground. and somehow knows the arrow of view. He knows exactly what not to shoot the grenade at. There's no laser targeting.

1:25:47Kyle Brandt:There's no radar. He's just from the hip. And he could have just blown them all up. It makes me nervous every time I watch it.

1:25:52Bill Simmons:Maybe that's why he started screaming. All right, here's my big one. I think this movie ends when you say he walks away, what happens to Rambo? Yeah. Right? What does the next two minutes look like for him? Next two hours, next two days? I'm going to tell you what happens. He immediately dies of a severe bacterial infection. from being dangled in that sewage pit for 12 hours. There's no way your body, I can't even imagine what kind of sickness you would get from that. Like, think about that. Think of all the stuff that was in there combined with the leeches, but this is the kind of untreated feces and pee and every bad thing that is happening in this village.

1:26:32Bill Simmons:And they just have them hanging out in there. At one point, like the helicopter lands and it shoots the water in his face. I just think he has hepatitis A, B, C, D, E, F, and G. First seven letters of hepatitis, he has it by the end of this movie.

1:26:47Kyle Brandt:I think each year, probably the worst 30 seconds of my calendar year is about the one time a year that I am at some sort of event that demands that I use a port-a-potty. And I go in there and you look down to that World War III hell on earth that's down there. He was standing in that for who knows how long with leeches all over his body and it's pig shit.

1:27:09Bill Simmons:Sewage leeches.

1:27:10Kyle Brandt:Disgusting. It's soldiers eating God knows what, shitting out God knows what. And he just doesn't even break his facial expression. The stench alone in that pit is absolutely abhorrent. Right. This is Andy Dufresne going through

1:27:23Bill Simmons:the sewage pipe, but it's an entire river of it.

1:27:26Kyle Brandt:And Andy Dufresne is puking the entire time he's doing it. But Andy Dufresne is not the perfect killing machine.

1:27:31Bill Simmons:This does go back to my theory that Rambo had lost a sense of smell a long time before.

1:27:36Kyle Brandt:I think it was an early strain of COVID. I think he's over there and he just lost a sense of smell. You got it first.

1:27:44Bill Simmons:Sequel, prequel, Prestige TV, all black cast are untouchable. So they did two more sequels, neither of which we like. What would have been... It's rough. If you had had a third Rambo and we were in charge, what would the third Rambo movie be? If we're doing this correctly, what is it? Because to me, I would have come back to America and moved more into the diehard, sudden death, toy soldiers, under siege kind of area where he's now John Rambo's working as a cook on a... Basically, he could have been Seagal and under siege. I would have moved that way in Rambo 3 and not made it even more complicated and geopolitical.

1:28:24Bill Simmons:I would not have done that.

1:28:25Kyle Brandt:Well, yeah, you run into it. We did it with Karate Kid 2. Go back to where it all started. Go back to your roots. That's great. That's for two. for three you come back home and can i talk you into a character shows up who is the relative or son of someone from rambo one like maybe brian dennehy's son from the small town comes to find i always enjoy that stuff yes young teasel like jackie teasel shows up and i don't know if he

1:28:50Bill Simmons:likes rambo right away maybe he's gonna turn on him we're not sure yes or the guy that he goes to see at the beginning of first blood maybe it's that he has some sort of a soldier who dies of

1:28:59Kyle Brandt:cancer yeah we need those characters coming back that's how that shit works like diehard 3 the villain was hans gruber's brother and that kind of worked for us i do like the idea of him of

1:29:12Bill Simmons:john rambo just being the lead character in sudden death was jean-claude van damme where it's just john rambo's oh yeah he's just now working as a security guard in a pittsburgh penguins arena or something and then has to become john rambo um i would have gone that way what if he just comes back and he's like he does the rampot and it's just like just him and

1:29:33Kyle Brandt:it's new pod alert and it's just him telling stories and i'm like how to kill people yes exactly rampot i'm into it is this movie better with wayne jenkins fergie the florist zane low ted levine or someone else what do you got for us you know one thing we haven't covered is when johnny just draws up a play in the dirt when his helicopter is wounded and he simulates that it crashed and he goes to sleep and he does the rocket launcher. It's like a preposterously clutch moment. And the best part about it, Bill, is that if you look in the background in one of the rice patties, there's an announcer's table and Gus Johnson is just sitting right there.

1:30:10Kyle Brandt:And he doesn't know you got to you got to look really closely. But I actually have the call that goes like this. It goes, John Rambo, young fella, hunting commies in South Vietnam, Leach is still up his asshole. Pretends he's dead and shoots the bazooka through the windshield. Oh! Pinko bastard blown out of the sky. Bring that man to Murtoch. Ha ha! Woo!

1:30:39Bill Simmons:He did it again. I love you, Gus. Our guy. You think Collinsworth was next to him?

1:30:46Kyle Brandt:Oh, I don't know, Bill.

1:30:47Bill Simmons:It's just an incredible... I guess I can't believe what John Rambo did right there. I just can't. He just, how can you play dead after you've killed 130 people? It's incredible. I should not figure that out. He's playing dead. Obviously, he's not dead. Just one Oscar who gets it. Frank Stallone for peace, peace in our earth.

1:31:08Kyle Brandt:Somebody in the Stallone family has to get it. Yes.

1:31:10Bill Simmons:Yeah. I guess it's special effects because that did get nominated. I have two unanswerable questions for you. Yes. I have one for you. What do Murdoch's next couple years look like? Maybe it ends with him as the security guard in Silence of the Lambs. Maybe that was the actual ending.

1:31:26Kyle Brandt:You know what the sad part is? Nah, he falls upward, dude. He's going to get great positions in government jobs. Fuck that guy. You know people like that. I know people like that. He will fall upward and continue to get more. Blue shirt and khaki poos? Absolutely, dude. He is going to get paid more and be powerful and risk more American lives. No, he'll fall upward.

1:31:46Bill Simmons:Okay. when was the last time John Rambo got laid if you're just going through the prism of this movie we know he gets out of late 70s and kind of drifts around for a few years is there a girlfriend in there is he dating somebody has he just sworn off is he just asexual how does he get his rocks off

1:32:10Kyle Brandt:it's a great question we had the stretch in the camp and the rock breaking camp after the arrest issue, you have the timeline. It basically boils down to, is Johnny Rambo the kind of guy who pays for it? Is he going to do that? I can't answer that question. I know soldiers over there were doing all kinds of things back in the day. But I'll tell you this, gets back on that horse real fast with Coe. No hesitation, goes for it. So my answer would have to be, this is a horny man. This is a man with needs. I think he found a way. I don't think it's been that long.

1:32:45Bill Simmons:yeah I think probably didn't chase it I think transactional relationships probably were working there for a couple years I'm with him well listen I would also

1:32:53Kyle Brandt:ask that he get laid in prison but I don't want everybody to get mad that I would insinuate that about John Rambo pickle puffers what do you have for

1:33:01Bill Simmons:unanswerable questions

1:33:03Kyle Brandt:alright Bill Simmons here we go are you a sly guy or an Arnold guy

1:33:09Bill Simmons:I'm a sly guy and by the way I should have mentioned he is now in third place all time for the rewatchables at 13 tied with robert de niro

1:33:18Kyle Brandt:cruz is first yeah and then who hanks maybe pacino or pacino yeah you're a sly guy over arnold

1:33:25Bill Simmons:yeah so the the complete list right now now that we've done this we've done 454 movies cruise 18 pacino 14 de niro and stallone 13 denzel 12 arnold is only at eight but we have some good arnold movies left i think i think sly i think arnold's peak was probably better but i think sly's body work is pretty pretty crazy we're going from 76 all the way to basically the expendables with Sly. We haven't even done the expendables yet.

1:34:01Kyle Brandt:Like put it this way. Sly's 80. Okay. At some point we're going to wake up and look at fucking Twitter and we're going to see that tweet and it's going to suck. And it's like, we're going to see it for Arnold too. And I'm trying to like, which one would, would knock the wind out of me harder? I personally am a little bit more of an Arnold guy, just a little bit. I get it. But these are, these are like, I feel like these men raised me. I feel like they're my uncle Sly and my uncle Arnold. And I don't know, I knew you were going to say Sly.

1:34:27Bill Simmons:But I think they've reached where Bird and Magic reached and some other people. After a while, you stop thinking about the rivalry, the competition, and they're kind of linked together. I really do think these two guys are linked together. They're making basically most of the good action movies for 15, 20 years here.

1:34:46Kyle Brandt:How do you feel now when you'll see Sly showing up at some event or doing some project? He's had a ton of work done, but like who gives a fuck he's still up there he's kind of in shape he looks good he's still working like i always feel kind of proud when i see him and arnold looks great too yeah i i think sly i don't like when he re-edit stuff that he did okay yeah like when he redid the rocky four

1:35:13Bill Simmons:with his new cut with new scenes and took out stuff i'm like leave leave shit alone sly your legacy is secure i made a bunch of great shit there's movies he did that we haven't even done on rewatchables yet that I've wanted to do, like Daylight, which I've tried to talk you into for a while. Lockup in Prison, which has the greatest non-sports movie sports scene ever in a movie.

1:35:35Kyle Brandt:The question I get the most about this podcast, and I get a lot, is how do you pick the movies? And I always say there's a lot of different ways that come from Bill, but my favorite one is occasionally there'll be a Daylight where you'll basically be like, dude, I need this. Get up to

1:35:51Bill Simmons:my level on daylight so do this for me please do this um memorabilia you'd most want from this movie let me get your answer first and then i have some interesting facts on this

1:36:05Kyle Brandt:all right well i would say i want the combo of i want the actual red headband and co's necklace that he wears at the end which barely fits around his neck and i think that's a badass tandem like those were probably sold somewhere the real ones that exist but what do you have i really wanted

1:36:20Bill Simmons:the machine gun with the bullets so you could drape the bullets over your fucking awesome i love that and i was googling it and stallone did an auction thing for a lot of his stuff in 2021 which i somehow missed the rambo tube knife that you mentioned earlier went for 51 000 awesome the archery bow you think it went for more or less less movie used archery bow 28k i knew it And then the machine gun 16K, which I think was the buy if you're going to do those. Awesome. You sound like you would have gone all in on the knife, though.

1:36:57Kyle Brandt:The knife is iconic. And they sold that knife to children and it was a little pack with a grenade and all Rocky's other gear. That was the symbol of the movie. And it's really cool when you watch. It's basically the second character in the movie after Sly.

1:37:11Bill Simmons:Coach Finstock, Mr. Miyagi, were best worst life lesson. Just kill Rambo. Just take him out. Like with all of these movies, just take the guy out. You've already killed all these other people and done horrible things. Don't let the guy linger. Don't let him dangle in a sewage pool. Don't electrocute him when he's not going to die. Just fucking kill him. Get it over with. Take him out.

1:37:36Kyle Brandt:That's the Scott Evil, Dr. Evil thing. Why don't you just shoot Austin Powers in the head? Yeah, just shoot. It's the Scott Evil.

1:37:41Bill Simmons:I have a gun in my room. It's the Scott Evil life lesson. Just fucking kill him.

1:37:45Kyle Brandt:It's always great advice. I want to get this one out of the buzzer. every office place can be cool if you make it. That hang that they have with Murdoch, I kind of want to let go and have a fantasy draft there. Just the box score on that place. You know when it hits me? Is when Murdoch's like, give me something cold to drink. And they open the Coke machine, no coins, none of that. Just reach in there. I would bet my life that that place has a stack of Playboys, a foosball machine, cigarettes around. In Thailand, there's going to be great takeout food. There's probably karaoke. Decent coffee. I kind of want to hang there.

1:38:20Kyle Brandt:That's what I'm saying. Like, there's beers later, you know, for sure. And by the end of that movie, I'm like, fuck the jungle. I want to go hang with Murdoch and get one of those cold sodas. I love that place.

1:38:31Bill Simmons:So it's basically like a hanger that they put some boards up to surround to make it seem like an office. But then they had all these nooks and crannies. Definitely a TV with some sort of weird antenna where they could probably get football games.

1:38:45Kyle Brandt:It sounds pretty cool, right?

1:38:46Bill Simmons:Yeah. You could hang out with Kreese. You get to hang out with the indoor aviators guy. He's just wearing the aviators at 10 a night. I'm with you. It was a cool office. Double feature choice. It's got to be First Blood, right? Go First Blood. Then you go Rambo 2. Ben and I did it two weekends ago.

1:39:01Kyle Brandt:How was that?

1:39:03Bill Simmons:Honestly, I keep saying honestly in this podcast. That's good. Shoot me straight. He loved First Blood. Okay. First Blood is still a fucking banger. It's so good. It's just a really, really good movie with like a message. natural action. Will Teasel, I can kind of see it a little bit from his side, but he's also the villain. You know, I don't like him. There's some Korean War background with him where there's clearly some Korean War, Vietnam War, Bad Blood. It's just a really well-drawn-out character. I like that he's Caruso's in there and Chris Mulkey. And I don't know. It's just really, really, it just holds up so well.

1:39:45Bill Simmons:And then it moves right into the second movie that's basically just a popcorn movie. But the combo of it was really nice.

1:39:52Kyle Brandt:It's like the first one, that image of Rambo with the jacket on the side of the road. He's so emo and hurt and wounded. The contrast between that and super tan six-pack guy holding the bullet straps, it's like you're going from Led Zeppelin to Cinderella. It's just a totally different genre. I love that, though. I would go double feature. Fuck it, I'll pay it forward and I'll go Cobra. Oh, you'll do the fly too close to the sun combo?

1:40:18Bill Simmons:Or would you do Rocky IV?

1:40:20Kyle Brandt:He checks Stallone from the logo and Rocky IV, Cobra. I do all that stuff. I live for that stuff.

1:40:25Bill Simmons:And then Stallone wins the movie, I think it's fair to say. I don't know if Craig's coming in or not with his take because he is away. But if he edits it in, we'll throw in a Craig take. Maybe he did, maybe he didn't. Kyle Brandt, what do you got going on? Plug some stuff.

1:40:41Kyle Brandt:Well, thank you. Bill, I have a book. I have a fucking book and it is available for pre-order now. I've never written a book before. I worked my ass off on it. It's kind of about my really crazy career and a lot of the lessons that I've learned. And it says to young people, hey, I've had a fucking weird career and it's okay if you do too. And I have a very generous contribution from Bill Simmons to that. And it's available now. It's called Do You, D-O-Y-O-U period by Kyle Brandt. And I'm going to be book guy over the next several months. I've never been it before. What's your advice?

1:41:15Bill Simmons:just gently remind people that it's coming, but don't do it too much and make them mad. That's the thing. Just keep reminding people that it's coming. But it's a pre-order. It's a while away, right?

1:41:24Kyle Brandt:It's not until January. And it's also like, there's a lot of candy. I reference 152 movies in this book. I worked my ass off. And if you like the rewatchables, I think you'll like the book.

1:41:34Bill Simmons:Did you go into it all while you ducked the challenge? Was that a chapter?

1:41:38Kyle Brandt:Yeah, dude. Bill, I go into the conversation you and I had about me ducking the challenge, if you want to call it ducking. that is in the book i felt like you would have won multiple titles but i wouldn't be here right now i'd probably be in a padded cell i i would be somewhere like uh

1:41:55Bill Simmons:or you'd be on paramount plus right now with with the guys

1:42:01Kyle Brandt:i don't think it would have been good for my mental health the real world was a tough time listen i i recorded i was the only person who did real a real world during fucking 9 11 all right It was a tough four months for a lot of different reasons. It's the only time in the history of the show that the castmates were allowed to watch TV. They brought in a TV for us on 9-11. Bill and I are recording this on 9-11. Yeah, that's true. And we sat down and we just watched it. And honestly, like I say this in the book, I'll tell you now, they did a really, really evil thing where they made it look like we were watching the towers fall down.

1:42:34Kyle Brandt:Oh, they did a weird edit? Yeah. whereas the shot of us watching the tv was actually like six hours later so i see that clip around sometime and i think it's evil and fucked up and like i i hate it but obviously i have a lot of uh baggage about the real world but that stuff's in there too well we've known each

1:42:52Bill Simmons:other a long time you've had a very interesting life i'm excited to uh to dive into it but congrats it's really hard to write a book i'm always i've only done two and i don't want to

1:43:00Kyle Brandt:do a third one i may be one and done but we'll see yeah yeah all right well we know we have

1:43:06Bill Simmons:Karate Kid 3 coming up later this year. Not sure when. Tell me when. I don't know. I almost want to build toward that. Almost like the HBO sneak preview on July 4th, 1986 for Rambo 2. People won't know it's coming, but they'll know something big's going to happen. But we'll see you in a couple weeks here in the Rewatchables. Good luck for the football season as well.

1:43:25Kyle Brandt:Thanks, brother. You too.

1:43:37Bill Simmons:This episode is brought to you by Whole Foods Market. Now, this is a player in the food space that has championed winning food standards and quality since 1980. That means no added growth hormones or antibiotics in their meat and no synthetic nitrates or nitrites in their deli meats, hot dogs, or sausages. Plus all their seafood is responsibly farmed or wild caught. They've even banned some ingredients store wide to make sure there's nothing to mess with the flavors you want. Shop Whole Foods Market in store or online. Thank you.