‘Species’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Van Lathan

24:31But like you wonder whether or not if he's in Pulp Fiction. Does he get four of those Travolta movies? Yeah, unless, I mean, you know, sometimes a role aligns with an actor. Sure, I mean, that was like reviving Travolta. Certainly.

24:43Bill Simmons:the Ben Kingsley in Species Award it doesn't really seem like you wanted to be in this movie I'd love to we gotta think about this like who's the all time version of that in a movie that we like we don't do this now but the next Rory Scheider in Jaws 2 that was a good one too $35 million budget made$113.3 million big hit yeah Species Roger Ebert two stars I would have thought he would have enjoyed the nudity. Mainstream Hollywood is so terrified of intelligent human characters that it's no wonder they don't want aliens who are even smarter than the humans. It just goes on and on talking about what were they trying to do.

25:27Bill Simmons:He's told us that whole story when she asks, who am I, what am I? And then Raj writes, but the movie never tells her. Settle down, Raj. All time. Have some fun, brother. We're going to take a break and go through the categories and a lot of fun stuff. This episode is brought to you by Quince. Good clothing is like a good movie. You want it on repeat. That's how you'll feel about Quince's pieces. Their clothes are versatile and timeless. Without the insane markup other brands have. Perfect for a fall wardrobe refresh. I'd recommend the lightweight down packable puffer vest. It's great for those days when the temperature can't make up its mind.

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26:48Bill Simmons:And the Strato Tech Tee, ridiculously soft. It's the kind of gear you keep reaching for because it's comfortable while still looking put together. Get 20 % off your first purchase at viore.com slash rewatchables and discover the versatility of Viore clothing. Exclusions apply. visit the website for full terms and conditions. All right. Most rewatchable scene. Michelle Williams, young Michelle Williams, escaping in the glass hole. They're trying to gas her out. Yeah. She won't have it. Gets out of there. I like how this movie starts. You're liking it immediately. It's good. Yeah. It gives you no chance to just, here's the focal point, up against it, gonna eat everything, alien, escape, crack some necks, we're out of here.

27:34Bill Simmons:Yeah, there's no like four minute people walking in a long hallway being like, we have to do it today. If you're going to make a B movie, just make it a B movie and start the movie. I don't need a preamble. I don't need like a flashback. I don't need five years ago. Scientists telling you how important the research is. SETI, bang, Michelle Williams in a cage. Let's go. Right. Do we do the, are we sure this guy was good at her, what's that a word? That was my flex. Oh, all right. I'll save it for you, CR. Next rewatchable. Was it really? I swear to hell, yeah. I can probably come up with another flex.

28:09I can come up with another one, too.

28:10Bill Simmons:Next rewatchable. Fitch has his crew and he lays out what happened with the alien. Good exposition. Yeah. Two minutes, you just get it. We decided to make it female so it would be more docile and controllable. And Press goes, more docile and controllable, eh? You guys don't get out much. We decided to make it female so that it would be more docile and controllable. More docile and controllable, huh? I guess you guys don't get out much that's the trailer winner line you ever wish you were invited to a random meeting where it's just like I'm a biologist I'm an anthropologist I'm a killer and Bill's like I'm a podcaster it's just like great you're gonna meet we're getting more into video yeah the team was an anthropologist a molecular biologist a black ops mercenary and an empath and I don't know at what point do you want to talk about whatever Forrest Whitaker's doing in this movie?

29:03Bill Simmons:We can do it later. I have so many questions. We'll save it. So Madsen says, I think this is a search and destroy operation. It's like, yeah, we get it. Search and destroy operation, just so we know. They send one person who knows how to fight and three eggheads. We're going to give out to Erica. Including Empath, who gets freaked out if somebody's ordering a coffee. He's like, that's decaf. Someone wanted coffee here. She's afraid. It's honestly like that SNL sketch with Christopher Walken, Trivial Psychic. You're gonna have an ice cream. You're gonna get an ice cream headache.

29:48Bill Simmons:Fitch almost lets Marge and Madsen die in the lab. In the burn room, yeah. A lot of questions about this one. Why they couldn't just open the door quick, let them out. And then Madsen's not mad at all. but it's a really fun scene. All right, here we go. I'll just read what I wrote down. Natasha goes to the club, kills a bitch at the id, takes her shirt off, goes to a Hollywood Hills house and kills somebody by French kissing them through the back of their neck. And then that guy looks like Nick Wright. He does. He looks exactly like Nick Wright. This movie would have been amazing if that dude was like Jim Rome.

30:28Right. And he was just like driving her home and was just like, yeah, what do you know about Luke Robitaille?

30:37Bill Simmons:He's talking about MJ. I still feel like there's a guy who's going to come that's going to be greater than him. I still feel like there's some holes. And she's like, I want your baby. That's so funny. He does look like Nick Wright. He does. And he's got a nice crib. He probably is. Yeah. That arrow's Nick Wright. Snapping his fingers, turning the lights on. she gives first she the girl that she ends up killing in the bathroom nothing better than a good club murder in the bathroom where they find the body like two minutes later and she went the hard way she went like into a service entrance and threw the fucking tile wall I feel like that woman died for nothing well you know what she was seen as a threat and she said all's fair in love or something like that and then she's still is very literal right so natasha learns from her i've got a party to go to nobody to take me good line nobody's ever said that to me um the guy who picks up natasha at the club living the dream yeah robbie great bmw convertible like really good year like midnight those mid 90s convertibles were elite crazy view automated snap he's got like surround sound pretty early for the surround sound of like, I'm just going to put on some Sade.

31:53Bill Simmons:Yeah. And play some music for you. Right. Entitled, though. Well, yeah, it was problematic. Well, I was rooting for him, and then all of a sudden he got a little date rape. Yeah. Yeah, he did. He tried to imprison her. He tried it with the wrong one. Come here. I said I want to go. Too late, babe. You're not leaving. I said you're not leaving. All right. That's better.

32:29Bill Simmons:i really wanted more from nick right she's like i just think mj was better than lebron's like you're staying here you want to watch sean camp highlights

32:43Bill Simmons:i do i did think in living in boston in the mid-90s that like half the people in LA were like this guy? Yeah. Where they just like went to clubs and then lived in a house like this. Brought somebody home. Just brought people home. Like just overwhelmed them with like all of the stuff that they had and then boom, close the deal. So do you think she kills him because he's date rapey or because he's diabetic? Both. I think it was a combo. He also threatened her. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. He's like, I want to leave. She should have killed him when he said, I've got to take a shower. Would you like that?

33:17Bill Simmons:That's fucking weird. In the shower, yeah. Yeah. Just like, that's weird. Well, I think he tried to cash the, like, maybe she'll shower with me check. And when she didn't go for that, he was like, well, I'm already committed to this shower, so I got to take it. Right. I do have some alien questions, though. Like, she had never seen a shower before. Like, there's a lot of moments where she should have been like, what's a shower? Yeah. Why are you standing in that room with water pouring on you? Well, she saw three commercials and was like, I got it. And was like, I got it. Saw people spending money.

33:43I understand money. Her and Borat were the fastest

33:45Bill Simmons:anyone's ever assimilated with American Girl. She saw one porn scene and a L 'Oreal commercial. She's like, I'm good. I totally understand how all this works. I gotta say, tough beat for diabetes. Like, that's enough. I know. Oh, yeah. I know. Like, it was kind of like a drive-by on the diabetics. I would love if her alien son had like an insulin device on. It's in the sewers. Eating rats. Yeah. Next one is the... Palisades guy. Our guy, Whip Hubbly. I also really love just still at the beach and the skateboarder guy who's like, woo-hoo! And someone skates him by the car. I have a spot for that.

34:28Okay.

34:31Bill Simmons:The most Palisades guy ever picks her up. He's like, isn't it great out here? So quiet. She's got this nice... He's got some wine ready. and he's just like ready to uh ready to take it slow and she's like but this is the this is the five seconds because this guy's a nice guy he's a really nice guy he wants to take a picture with her what a sip he's taking a picture with her first date got the polar weird weird and then also he goes from like i've checked you into and out of the hospital and here's a charcuterie plate like immediately yeah he paid for her to get out of the hospital took her was nice to her what did he fucking get for it.

35:13Killed nothing. Justice for homie.

35:15Bill Simmons:He was a peaceful guy in the Palisades. Should have given her a nice girl. Yeah. Was gonna pay for her injuries at the hospital. Put it on my credit card. Right. Although I can't blame him. Was there a bigger swing for a human being in 30 seconds than that guy's night? Shit.

35:37Bill Simmons:He's like, this is going great. Yeah, let's get in the hot tub. Let's get in the hot tub. We're good. Hit the fucking lottery. I can't believe this. And then 30 seconds later, he's being killed. Yeah. He stopped going with the flow, though. Yeah, he started resisting it. Yeah. He started pushing against the current. And then that's when you got to die. Poor bastard. The car chase bodies switch explosion, whatever's going on there. Very fun to watch. I'll do a nitpick here, though. Nobody, none of this dream team suspicious at all that the alien with superior intelligence might have rigged any part of this?

36:13No, they're like, let's go back to the hotel and get plowed.

36:15Bill Simmons:Yeah, let me see some Long Island STs. Yeah. And then the last one I have is Everyone Gets Horny. Dueling sex scenes. Yeah. Marge really seemed like she was enjoying the scene. She gets the Janine. I don't want to step on half-assed internet's research, but apparently that scene was basically improvised by Helgenberger and Madsen. That was in my research as well. The blowjob? Yeah. They were like, but that's honestly, you know what I mean? Like, it's like, oh, shit's getting real here on Species, you know? Yeah. These are two consenting adults. Stand up. Stand up. I mean, I had it as a category later.

36:51Bill Simmons:Did this movie need a better at the Steven Seagal Award for did this movie need a better intimacy coordinator? Marge and Michael were like, keep that intimacy coordinator over there. Waving them off. Allen Iverson stuff. Clear out. Like, clear out. Like, we got this. Do you know that Seagal movie? That's where we have that category? Where he's just going at it with this. He's like a cop who's just going at it with this lady who, I think it's his wife who just ends up getting murdered. Wait a minute. Which one? It's about Kelly LeBrock? It's the first one we, yeah. No, no, it's not the Kelly LeBrock one.

37:27Bill Simmons:It's the second one Kyle and I did. What was it? Alfred Justice? No, we just did that one. Above the Law? Above the Law, man. Above the Law is? No. And she gets gunned down. Mark for death. Seagal is like, it's like uncomfortable. I don't know if I've done. I don't think we've done Mark for Death. Yeah. Anyway, what do you have for most rewatchable CR? I think doing sex scenes at the end. Yeah. That's clearly the answer. Because Hinstridge is going forward in that sex scene. Malina was never the same. He's throwing firecrackers a year later. She is going forward in that sex scene. I really have to focus watching this movie.

38:06I'm sorry. I apologize, guys. Apologize to the listeners.

38:09Bill Simmons:I love the Hollywood Hills, that whole scene. It's great. That's my favorite part. Oh, really? The hot tub? Robbie. Robbie. I just love that whole section. It's just great. Bill, you see yourself as Robbie, huh? Yeah. In like another life, you're like, it could have happened. It's two moves away. What's the most 1995 thing about this movie? I mean, Michelle Williams as young Natasha Andrews. She's since disavowed this film. Yeah, I know. But she's like, hasn't disavowed Dawson's Creek? What the hell? I would have loved to have been on the junket for Manchester by the Sea. I'd just ask her about it.

38:50I'd be like, great work, but in Species. Did you have to eat all those chocolate puddings? Or were those stunt puddings? Why'd you kill the train conductor?

39:01Bill Simmons:1995 she has that little portable Sony TV that only existed for like three years that has to be the answer right of course I did you had that portable TV you still have a vision pro what are you making fun of him for the vision pro come back around to the vision pro it looks like it weighed 15 pounds yeah they were like walkie talkies and they had these tiny screens it was great for sports you could get the local whatever I have a 1995 thing, but do you think that F1 is going to be cool with the Vision Pro? It would be awesome because it would be specifically done for Apple. You think they're doing it that way?

39:38Yeah, but the Vision Pro has come back, though, because it was stupid, but now it's come back because the NBA app has caught up to the technology, and the NBA app has caught up to the Vision Pro, and now watching a game on your Vision Pro is fucking amazing.

39:52Bill Simmons:Are you going to be able to see LeBron suddenly standing in the corner as Luka dribbles for 20 seconds? We'll have a better view of that. Probably so. I have a quote I'll just be over here end of the movie horrible special effects I had as well for 95 I just had the paper credit card authorization machine oh that's a good one so I have both of those the analog thing I haven't seen one of those in years you know what else is so 95 about this movie everybody is so thin Melina thin Alfred Melina thin everybody they all look so fucking young because these actors go on to be people that you see in all kinds of movies oh my god speaking of Melina just that IMDB stretch for him where it's species and boogie nights within each other just impressed I have a bunch of stuff you go see our number one is just just a quick shot of Madsen watching hockey I was trying to figure out what game that was I think it was the Team USA game I tried to zoom in but just like him being two beers deep watching hockey when he gets the call then still is at the club he's like oh time to catch the whole third period I want to talk about Forrest Whitaker and being an empath Dan walking into the train car seeing a dead woman in the husk of an alien uterus and saying something bad happened to you no fucking shit i laughed like something bad happened here what are you talking about it's an extra-terrestrial cocoon and yeah like i didn't know whether to put him in what's age the best or what's the worst it's kind of both but this time around i was like this is amazing where does this guy work is there any certification for his gifts yeah half of it is just like it's hot in here right yeah like somebody was hot or somebody was hot in here like in a restaurant and he's like, she was hungry.

41:58Bill Simmons:Yeah, he does like the, she was scared. It's like, she probably was scared. She's an alien. There's moments where he's like touching the ground, like the dirt to see which direction she went in. I'm like, what does that have to do with being an impact? She's like Sonny Hayes touching the track. His powers are completely inconsistent in the movie. Does he have the power to know somebody's feelings? He knew somebody was at the door before they knocked. It's crazy. He might just have crazy hearing. Well, I don't know. At first, I just thought it was ESP when I first saw the movie. Crazy hearing. Like, he's a mutant of some sort.

42:30Because he heard the guy at the door. Maybe he's just like, he's kind of like an overdeveloped thing. Yeah. And then he starts, after a while throughout the movie, he starts taking her side. Really, he doesn't start taking her. He's on her side the whole time. Right. She's a living being. She's scared. That's why she doesn't kill him. Yeah. That's right.

42:47Bill Simmons:It's an inexplicable character. And I think a huge part of why I like this movie, because it's, I just can't believe this was the best they could do. They put the least thought into, first of all, what's an empath? Have you ever met one? Now it's like people are like, I'm very empathic. Everyone is an empath now. It just means you're like sensitive. As a job? Bill, no. No, as a personality characteristic. Now for like ladies who have - Don't worry, you're not. Right, no. You are the opposite of an empath. You're like, okay, you're the opposite. Well, for ladies that have like waist beads and want to know your birth chart and stuff like that.

43:28But is this a job or is this a social media hobby? No, it's not a job. It's like when you're feeling bad, I feel bad. I'm an empath. I mirror your feelings and all of that stuff like that. Yeah.

43:39Bill Simmons:It's a thing. So you're basically a golden retriever. Golden retrievers mirror their humans if humans are sad, happy. How did the CIA know about him? They went on empath.com. Yeah, seriously. they were on the 1995 version of indeed just like tracking him like why so kalika says to you hey denise is coming over tonight and you're like the empath exactly yeah right yeah she's still doing that yeah yeah no it's going well or had some empath sessions or you're in a la conversation at a party somebody has a couple of bumps of coke and they go the thing about me is i'm a fucking empath. And I can't handle all of this negativity from everyone.

44:24If we're talking about Dan, though, I was going to bring this up later, but is Tony Romo kind of an empath?

44:31Bill Simmons:Oh, with plays? Predicting the plays? Yeah. I guess it's a little bit more predictive rather than reactive. It would be like if Romo was like, I knew they were going to blitz, Jim! You know, like, after the blitz. But there's something like, I was trying to imagine what Dan would be like as an announcer, as a sports an answer. Well, or flip it, Tony Romo in the empath role in this movie. Like, she was hungry, June.

44:57She got threatened. She just wants to procreate June. Natural imperative. Very horny. Forrest Whitaker, though, for a very long stretch of his career, was just an expert at playing weird, off-kilter characters. Yes. Like, fucking Ghost Dog, this, Orasion Harlem, which is a great fucking movie. And he's just playing weird, a bigger guy, but could play mousy real well. Soft-spoken real well.

45:26Bill Simmons:Yeah, but more would say it's the best because I have a couple. Laura and Preston's sex scene. Good one. Yeah. It felt frisky. That sex scene was actually hotter than anything that Natasha was into. Because she was taking charge. I like the little fist pump by herself in the hotel room that Madsen showed up. Yeah. She's playing her little game. Yeah. It actually worked. I could have watched Natasha shopping in downtown LA for a couple more scenes. In the bridal dress, like the snow white outfit. Like imagine her in downtown LA right now just popping through different stores. Also, like she should have bought a couple weird things.

46:10Yeah. Like are those headphones? Bluetooth headphones? Yeah, that she bought. Yeah, that would be funny. or if she just had like a walkman and was walking around listening.

46:20Bill Simmons:I like when aliens, foreigners, and grown-up kids in adult bodies watch hotel room TVs. I think it's worked over and over again. Borat, Big, this movie. It's a good gimmick of people. I'm scared. I'll take comfort in this TV. I'm experiencing culture. Everything I learned from this. Yeah, I like that whole thing. You see like sex, violence, all of that in one thing. How about a science fiction movie science fiction slash horror movie where the black character survives. That's notable. It's like, this is almost a unicorn. It is. But at the same time, he's dead the first hour. At the same time, they had to stay consistent because that nice sister on the train gets her shit fucked up.

47:04So they had to, they had to feed them. She gets fucked up. Yeah. She did nothing but be nice. Tough death.

47:13Bill Simmons:Infected rats. it was a good it was a good gimmick good ending for this yeah probably would have been a better sequel i don't remember the sequel i only saw it once uh not in the theater i don't think i saw a species really really poorly reviewed like like the kind of reviews were like just if you're gonna go see this like just drive your car no telephone pole because what lives it's just like the little arm still is still moving around and then the rat yeah um i think we've done this before with, and I forget what movie it was, but sometimes a movie that's not that big will have this incredibly detailed Wikipedia page.

47:48Bill Simmons:It's so long. And it's clear somebody involved with the movie is on there, is wrote a lot of the stuff. So I do have a suspect, screenwriter Dennis Feldman. There's just a lot of his process in the Wikipedia page, like a lot. When I say a lot, like paragraph after paragraph, or like then in the sixth draft, screenwriter Dennis Feldman decided to do that. It's like, how do they know any of this? There's more in this Wikipedia page than there would be in the Luka Doncic trade Wikipedia page. Right. Or like the actual James Cameron Alien movie. Yeah. Or Aliens 2. Like, I just couldn't believe how detailed it was.

48:25Bill Simmons:And I just was picturing, I don't know if he did it or not, but this Dennis Feldman was like, I'm going to add one more thing to this. I got to tell them about the seventh draft of this movie when I had the idea for this. There is actually suspiciously, like, it's really they were like it went through many rewrites but everything you see is courtesy of Dennis Feldman right uh there's one part where they brought in yeah where they brought in uh a second screenwriter and they just specifically say but none of that was used in the end they went with Dennis Feldman's work it was like who cares many people are saying yeah um also for what's aged the best.

49:07Bill Simmons:This is in the director's commentary. CR alluded to this before. Madsen said Ben Kingsley was protective of his chair and set and didn't like anyone touching it. So Madsen would purposely do things to it, including dumping garbage on it and hanging it from a cream. It's really funny. Ben Kingsley's just like, how many more fucking days do I have on this movie? Two? Damn it! Any other what's aged the best other than when the government has to go outside the box? I like a Hunt or Chase movie when you get a ragtag group of people to solve a problem hey I'm a microbiologist I'm an empath I'm this each one of these persons expert in their field and it's the only team that could crack the case I love that I still feel like when he said he was an empath I would have had like five more questions yeah but like so but like is that like a do you get paid for that freelancer thing is that volunteer can you work for a sports team I have to say something real quick before we move on.

50:05Bill Simmons:Let's hear it. Dennis Feldman is one of my favorite motherfuckers in the world. The movies that Dennis Feldman has done. Let's hear it. Just one of the guys. All time Van Lathan classic. It's on the rewatchable schedule. The Golden Child. Oh! Wow, that was a formative classic for me. Dennis Feldman wrote it. This movie, which I never know how many people have seen this movie. Have you guys seen a movie called Real Men with John Ritter and Jim Belushi? where that is one of my favorite I have a very cool real men story when I was a kid I went to film camp in Maine it was pretty fun and one of the things that we did was when we learned editing they had this famous editor Ralph Rosenbaum who did like Annie Hall and a bunch of other stuff but he showed us real men he showed us the version of real men before he like went back in and cut it and it was like so bad but then when he was like and here's what I did, we were like oh my god the editor is the most important person on the set or the most important person in the productions, it was very cool Can we go back to film camp?

51:14Bill Simmons:I would love to What was going on, any girls? No, it was a largely male thing I wound up starring in and directing a short called The Dirty Bag which is about a kid on a BMX Spike who finds like a bag of drug money and then gets chased by hitmen across this town in Maine. We got footage of this? Yeah, I still have it. Can we put it on Ringer Movie? I should. Yeah, that's a pretty good premise. It's tough because a lot of it is scored to Jimi Hendrix, but we did not clear that. And Zeppelin. Jimi's estate, then it's enough. I'm telling you, man. Yeah, Brockheimer's like writing$100 million checks to Led Zeppelin.

51:56I'm like, I got that. 86, 87, you get Christian Slater. you put him on the BMX he was like a Gleam in the Cube it was very inspired by Rad and Gleam in the Cube wow

52:05Bill Simmons:this now sounds like an A24 coming of age story of CR at film camp 30 years ago I know right it was awesome there was no girl like there was no wannabe actress I did not have a romantic maybe situation maybe there are different experiences that could be had at CR's film camp not gonna judge you have any what's age the best fan or can we move on just the the hunt type chase movie Big Kahuna Burger for best use of food or drink all the shit that little kid ate in the train banana with the peel still on puddings the long island iced teas that's a good one great shot Gordo most cinematic shot this movie was shot by Andre Bartowiak who did a bunch of Sidney Lumet stuff he shot Prince of the City he shot Speed and it was just that moment where some of the greatest cinematographers would be like, yeah, I guess I'm shooting species.

53:02So I think I don't have a shot,

53:03Bill Simmons:but it looks pretty good. I was going to say her coming out of the cocoon in the train. Yeah, that's a good one. Because they had to invert the train to make it work so she could fall the way they did it. I think they also did a really good job making the Biltmore look awesome. Yeah. Downtown. I've never actually been in it. We forgot to say this was directed by Roger Donaldson who did some fun ones over the years, including No Way Out. yeah how many Donald Craig loves Craig loved No Way yeah that movie rips yeah that's a very Craig coded movie though did he do Air Force One cause I'm secretly Russian spy I think he did could be Craig didn't think Sean Young was hot in that movie though Craig you're off your fucking rocker not hot not good in it yeah so no Sean Young not beautiful you know Sean Young I knew about Sean Young from Ace Ventura Pet Detective that colored your that changed it Finkel Ironhorn your guy Roger Donaldson also did The Getaway we've done sneak he also did cocktail he did that's why he's one of the great directors and i think we we might do 13 days at some point oh i like that possible and the recruit with your guy yeah look with colin cool movies yeah just like cool movies cadillac man which people like to do the bounty as far as shots though what about the defining shot of this movie which i feel like was the tongue coming through the back of the guy's head cinematic maybe not so but like very affecting and selling your film.

54:26This is probably the most memorable shot. Right.

54:28Bill Simmons:It won Best Kiss at the 1996 MTV Movie Awards. And they recreated the kiss, which is not the head thing. Kid Cudi Pursuit Happiness Award for Best Needle Drop. I couldn't... The 90s club... I think in id, they are listening to The Crystal Method, which is a very 90s techno artist. Yeah, I think they could have dialed that up. That could have gone really early on... EDM. Yeah, like early, early Moby, somebody that we could have been like, Oh, well, shit. Yeah. Tricky. Well, they used all the money on the alien. They weren't about to go give Moby any cash. Chess Rockwell, Brock Lander's award, best character name.

55:04Bill Simmons:Xavier Fitch is Ben Kingsley's name. I think Preston Lennox. Preston Lennox is a crazy good name. That second round draft pick for the Cleveland Cavaliers. They took Xavier Fitch. It's a combo guard. Preston Lennox is good, though. So we're adding the Ed Norton reverse Dunk Award for did this movie need a random sports scene? I have mine. I have mine as well. Go. What's yours? why when Syl is sleeping at the beach why can't she stop by the Venice courts and do a little white man can't jump just hustle some dudes it's glaring I mean there's so many missed opportunities in this movie that I just wish there had been a conciliary for but she wakes up there should definitely be a basketball game going on she should be watching it one of the players should hit on her and that's just like a quick kill that could have taken like 90 seconds it probably would have been beach volleyball let's be honest maybe but can you imagine her blocking a shot and destroying the ball or something and just being like, oh.

55:56Bill Simmons:Or her wandering on a beach volleyball court naked and just they're all out there playing. But the movie is missing the Lakers. The Lakers should have been in there because it's a very L.A. movie. 95 Lakers is what? Like she goes to a Laker game? Like she goes to a Laker game where a Laker's not going to hang. Probably a Clipper game is more realistic because she can get in for like$3 in a full quarter. She studies the cheerleaders and then just ends up replacing one of them. So this would have been early McDyce. On the Clippers? Brent Barry? She could have been like Brent Barry. She could have met at the club, maybe.

56:29Boy, if Brent Barry would have played... Stanley Roberts? Yeah.

56:33Bill Simmons:Sierra, what do you have for a flex category? I have the George LRB two weeks with Paye. Van and I can cook on this one. But Xavier Finch seems like he has a lot of responsibility with very little oversight and just takes too many chances. Ben Kingsley is horrible in all aspects of his profession. First of all, if you've got the entire military at your disposal, there's a lot more effective ways to kill an alien than gassing it. I guess that was supposed to be humane. I don't know, but it just seemed like she checkmates that and they're like, fuck, I guess we lost her. There's no safeguards against her getting out.

57:11By the way, we can't tell the trains would shut down. You're aware of her biology. You have not come up with a satisfactory way to kill her. You have not come up with a satisfactory way to find her. Well, you fucked it up so much that you have to kill her. Right. Then you, when the alien shows up in the form of an adorable girl, you use the most Bond villain method possible to kill her. And then when that fucks up, you hire a bunch of nerds instead of getting like SEAL Team 6 to go after her. Right. You would get the Delta Force. Yeah. You would get the Delta Force, put them in plain clothes, right?

57:47Those guys look like average guys. as their special forces operators, and then you'd go out there and fire. And how many people know that they're chasing an alien? Because aren't more people like, why are we hunting this girl like she's the supervillain? Because he says in the beginning, I don't want everybody to find out that there's extraterrestrial life. So we're trying to keep it contained. But I'm just going to tell these four random people.

58:07Bill Simmons:Yeah, it's missing a scene where he tells his boss. I'm going to tell Dan the empath. Right. Well, that's what he tells his boss. So what's plan B? It's like, well, I got this empath I've been looking at. at the end of the movie the microbiologist has the fucking vest on with the rifle she had to Erica Aliniak it from from from Under Siege and they they ended up becoming a strike team at the end that's a good rewatchables category the Erica Erica Aliniak Under Siege Award for how do you know how to work like a random person that because of Gall adjacent awards can we have in one movie he's a hero yeah um Butch's Girlfriend Award weak link of the film is the last 12 minutes.

58:49Oh, I had the girl that she kidnaps. Terrible. That's just like, it actually doesn't matter that she's in the car that much.

58:58Bill Simmons:Yeah. They napalm that whole thing anyway, so I don't really know if they're like excavating it, and it's just like 10 extra minutes. Toughest death in the movie for you? That girl getting tortured and her finger cut off and then driving to her. Oh, that's right. They get the DNA from that, but that's still stupid. What was the worst way to die in this movie? Oh, the worst way to die for me was Alfred Molina because he had a high and then a low, and he was experiencing strength. Counter, great way to go out. I'd rather be Molina than the girl on the toilet. Maybe, but Molina, there's always, have you guys ever been in a situation where things are going really good and then they start going really bad?

59:36That one moment of realizing that you fucked up because this stuff never happens to you must be so profound. So I felt really bad for him because he did nothing wrong. Yeah. She comes up to him, he goes, this kind of thing doesn't happen to me. And he's not like the other guy. Well, he shouldn't have mansplained about how conception works. You know? That'll teach him.

59:54Bill Simmons:I think he probably could have sniffed it out a little sooner that something was up. Sniff it out, sniff what out? Just smoking hot, who just has this obviously badly dyed hair. Who looks just like the woman they've been chasing for two weeks. who immediately wants to mate with him. So you're saying it's his fault? Yeah, I think he was asking for it a little bit. There you go. I have the last 12 minutes. Once we get in the sewer, once Natasha's not Natasha anymore, this movie becomes a pretty conventional B movie. What's age the worst? Species 2. Madsen said, it's lousy. I only did it for the paycheck.

1:00:28Bill Simmons:You could feel it. We talked about Forrest Whitaker. We talked about Hollywood Hills guy. I got one more thing. I have one more, but you go. The Long Island iced tea. Nobody drinks those anymore. No, because I think people black out. Yeah, I think they got a bad rap. They got a bad rap. Also, I remember they have a ton of calories, right? They're very calorie dense. And then you have two of them. You're fucked. Like, no practice anymore. Long Island iced teas still at the clubs. Yeah, they're still around, to be honest. I don't drink them a lot because they're too potent, but yeah, people still getting them.

1:00:59I gotta say, also, the Long Island iced tea thing is, are we supposed to believe Dan doesn't drink because he's Muslim? Oh, maybe. It's kind of fucked up. That Molina's just like, nah, nah, nah. we're gonna slip you some alcohol even though your religious beliefs prohibit you from drinking Melina's asking for it I have

1:01:21Bill Simmons:for what's the age of worst all the missed opportunities for Natasha to find a mate in Hollywood that they just left on the table because she really only goes back to the same club once easily could have gone to the Viper room easily could have gone to the bar and to a place in Swingers where the old people Marty and Elaine play. Can you imagine? She's Greg Cantor. Syl with Mikey from... I would have wanted some Hollywood landmarks. Goes to Cantor. She just wants some corn. Look at that beautiful baby they just walked in. I'm going to talk to that beautiful baby and all the fun. But it's like if Favreau from Swingers calls Syl five times, is she just like, yes, hi, would you love to have a baby?

1:01:59Bill Simmons:I thought there was some Santa Monica, that whole area they just left on the table. There was some outdoor pool bar scene they could have had. I don't know why they kept going back to the club kingsley's like this is what she knows like how does he know yeah it's a fucking mutated alien he's he he has experience i it's it's a it's a great question um The Ruffalo Hand and Rubinick Partridge Overacting Award. Is it Forrest Whitaker? It has to be, but this is actually an under-acted movie. I would say it's Forrest Whitaker for the entire film, but Kingsley for the single tier. Yeah. This is like, what kind of combination of drops do you think?

1:02:39Bill Simmons:We might have to drop it from our movie recipe. Alright, one more break and then we'll keep going. This episode is brought to you by the ActiveCash credit card from Wells Fargo. That's a mouthful, but that's because it packs a lot in. Earn unlimited 2 % cash rewards on purchases with it, big or small. So whether it's buying tickets to the game and grabbing a coffee, it earns unlimited 2 % cash rewards on purchases. Say it with me. The Active Cash credit card from Wells Fargo. Be a two percenter. Learn more at wellsfargo.com forward slash active cash. Terms apply. This episode is brought to you by the Hulu original series, Chad Powers, starring our friend, Glenn Powell.

1:03:18Bill Simmons:This season, the walls are closing in on Chad's biggest secret. And with his future on the field hanging in the balance, he'll have to win back the one coach who wants nothing to do with him. Watch the new season of Chad Powers on September 3rd, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+. For bundle subscribers, terms apply. All right, the CR thinks Luke Wilson could have been Harrison Ford hottest take award. Do you guys have one? Would this movie have been more interesting if the alien was like a six? not an uggo, but like, but like, just like at the club and guys are like, yeah, yeah. Uh, well, I guess.

1:04:03It's harder for her to find a mate. And it becomes almost like a rom-com where she's just like, ah, none of these guys want to go home with me.

1:04:16Bill Simmons:Like an LA6. It would have fit in that rom-com era where there was something wrong with every woman who just wanted to find love. In her case, it's like, I don't know. It's not like Debbie Downer kind of, but it's just like, can you imagine if she was like 5 '5"? People are like, yeah, sure. No, LA's crazy. It's hard to get to know anyone. She's waiting in line to the club for an hour and a half to get in. She's like, will you give me a baby? And everybody's like, no. No. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.

1:04:49that killed me what do you have being anything um just it's gonna be really on the nose the movie should have had more fucking there yeah this should have been either a hard r or an nc-17 yeah it should have a great call there should have the movie should have had more fucking like there should have been more fucking in the movie because like they a lot of the stuff that they had in there was stuff that we didn't need to see. Like, as soon as she becomes grown-up woman on the train, she'll pull somebody in the room, fuck them on the train. Yeah, I don't know what her biological imperative is. Like, is it like I needed to mate immediately?

1:05:27Should have been that.

1:05:29Bill Simmons:The imperative is I need to take over the human race with my half-babies. My hottest take, it's gonna step on a later category. Are you scared? No, I'm just... I just think this should have been a TV show. And I think you can make the case that if this is an HBO show in 1995, it becomes the first great cable one-hour show that we have. Do you want to sustain the level of nudity that Henstridge is... I think... You almost have to think about it like True Blood. Like, it's just like, this is a horny, crazy... Yeah. And it's like, almost like Cross the 24. All ball campy. It's one week. They can't find her.

1:06:10Bill Simmons:she's just in LA doing all this different shit and it's like when she meets the Hollywood Hills guy that's almost like half of an episode X-Files comes out two years before this but you could talk me into Madsen and Helgenberger being like Mulder and Scully and they're kind of chasing but in the meantime there's other mysteries for them to solve different types of mutants because this government agency is doing all kinds of crazy different experiments but also like still must have kids by then I just think this is a rare case of there's so much in this movie and they just ripped through it in an hour and a half.

1:06:44Bill Simmons:And it's like, there's like nine things that would have worked for a TV show. Dennis Feldman is listening, going, I know. It is Wikipedia adding to it. No, but it's it's like I just think in 95, this would have been like a transformative show. It wasn't a one hour like this. Like Sopranos was until 99. Yeah. You know, Oz was 97. So you'd be like basically Species and Oz would have been on HBO. It would add nudity, which fit the HBO thing. Do you think there was an audience for it on HBO at that time? 100 ,000%. They were so... At the very least, this would have been like a cool Cinemax show. Oh, Cinemax would have been.

1:07:20They weren't doing it.

1:07:21Bill Simmons:HBO and Showtime were the only two that would have done a drama like this. I think maybe the Alien stuff would have been too expensive. But you could have made it so we didn't really see the Alien stuff as much. Yeah, maybe once a year. Yeah, maybe the season finale. I just think it would have ripped. and they could have like Madsen you could have killed her off after the first season and then Madsen and Marge become like attacked him I don't know a lot of stuff there casting what ifs Pierce Brosnan was offered a part but couldn't do it because he had golden eye but then ended up working with Roger Donaldson on Dante's peak so what part do we think I think it was Kingsley you think Kingsley found out and was like fuck this mailing and everything now I'll give you the single tear and that's it you motherfuckers

1:08:12you motherfuckers

1:08:13Bill Simmons:who knows if this is true but Arnold Schwarzenegger was briefly interested in the script but the budget wouldn't allow him I'd assume that would be Preston Martin Lennox yeah would have been a totally different movie if this was involved what if press fucks the alien before he kills them what if they wanted Schwarzenegger for the empath somebody didn't Somebody did not stay in top fitness here. Best that guy award. It's not whip. It's whip. Yeah. He won before on St. Elmo's fire. Fucking Hollywood from top guy, man. Those are his best three. Great, great IMDb. Dion Waiters award. Michelle. Sure.

1:08:55Bill Simmons:She's good. You know what I get? Hollywood Hills date rape guys. A pretty good villain. I actually did a co-winner. All the dead guys. Oh. like all besides Molina, all the dead guys, all the victims, they all have to, they all have to have their little Dion Waiters moment and then get killed. Yeah. I like the Michelle Williams. That's a recasting couch director city. Ironically, Van brought him up before, but I had Vince Vaughn playing Hollywood Hills guy instead of Nick, He's like, look at this beautiful baby. What are you doing? We'll take you back to my crib. Let's party. And he's just like full Vince Vaughn.

1:09:34Bill Simmons:Yeah. And then she kills him. And he brings her back and he's like, let's just play NHL 95 all night. It's like a head bleed. My buddy Sue is here. Nick Wright. Nick Wright, you're going to end up having to do a podcast with Nick Wright. You're going to get mad. What is he going to get mad about? He looks like it. First of all, it was CR. CR is going to have to invite him on the watch. Nick, we got to squash it. Oh, Craig has a flex category. They're honestly both tweaks of things that Chris and Van have already said. So one was the, did this movie need a better sex scene? I agree with Van. I thought it was a huge missed opportunity to not get Madsen and her in a room.

1:10:13I thought that's what the whole movie was leading up to. That's like, there's a flash. She has like fantasies of him. Yeah. I wonder if she's like that. What? I feel like a proud dad. Craig, man. When I first started doing this shit, Craig was like, it's too many titties in the eighties. And look at him now. Bonafide freak. Tell us about the scene. Look, this movie. is about this you know what i mean it's not wasn't there's not an unnecessary nudity in the movie it's what the movie is about but i'm like there should have been like a love triangle where he's in the room with sill with the brown hair and then dr baker comes in and is like who's this and there should have been something with that i don't like it all led up to that moment or he has sex with

1:10:54Bill Simmons:marge fall they fall asleep marge goes to like go to the bathroom or something and sill comes in he thinks it's Marge. They did the single-way female. Oh, yeah. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Works. Do you think that, like, because she senses the weakness in Robbie and then the dude in the pot tub is like, oh, no, no, it's too fast. But she's having visions of Madsen. Is Madsen kind of like the alpha? Like, he's like the best of the best sperm donors. Take over the universe of Madsen. Yeah. And she had to settle for Melina because she was in a hurry. Gotcha. Yeah, because she was about to get old. Yeah.

1:11:33Bill Simmons:Because the next day, she's, what, 48? She's going fast. That's one of my unanswerable questions. It's like, what's Syl's, what's her aging like? Does she just turn into Betty White in a week or what? Substance, too. Half-ass internet research. So was the design by H.R. Giger. Yep. Who designed the creatures in the alien films. Yes. Did you know there was an aliens, too?

1:12:05it's not Chris wants to do aliens that's it that's the whole joke and Bill doesn't want to do it

1:12:10Bill Simmons:we're gonna do it he's gonna wait for me to go on vacation so Geiger was unhappy he thought the movie ripped off too many other alien movies including he did the alien the chest buster they did that they did species does things that have been in other movies and apparently he got holier than now about it but he worked on it he did but he got mad about some of this stuff they gave him like all the money they were like we're not even paying Madsen so that you do these aliens so then he threw his body in front of whatever the ending initially was and they ended up doing the headshot kill instead because that hadn't been an alien movie my advice would have been like a mild settle down for him these are alien movies the id club was built in the Pantages Theater no shit how about that

1:13:01Bill Simmons:there's not really we talked about a bunch of it yeah we hit basically everything except Alfred Molina recalled Natasha Hentridge was nervous on the day of their sex scene because she'd never acted one before and he said I've never been in one either with a woman because he had apparently been in one with a man in a movie and it broke the ice he's very excited about that I think I've called her Hentridge for the past hour. Just call her Natasha. She should have dumped the last name. I think she could have done it. Oh, like Madonna? Introducing Natasha. Apex Mountain, clearly Natasha. For sure.

1:13:39Yeah. Yeah, for sure.

1:13:42Bill Simmons:Madsen? I would say probably Reservoir Dogs. Well, Reservoir Dogs wasn't a big thing in the movies. It became a thing. By 95, after people had been watching it on VHS. There's just no possible way that this is his apex model. This movie made over$100 million. Honestly, and he's the lead. I think it was. I think you're right. I think by 95, Reservoir Dogs had been on VHS, had become a thing. I didn't see Reservoir Dogs for at least a year. I know. There's just no way. This was a big movie, Dan. I get it. If you were to say to somebody, Michael Madsen, they'd name like five movies before they named this movie.

1:14:20This is that range, though.

1:14:23Bill Simmons:Right. Like he passed up Pulp Fiction. Like he probably has the most juice right around here. You mean at this time? I can maybe buy that. Marge at CSI. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. Just killing it. Ben Kingsley, no. Horny alien movies. I don't know what the competition is. And I also don't know why we're not making more of them. It should. It should be every five years. It's shocking. I want to fuck. Yeah. We really lost that as a society. We have. Bring it back. Whitaker, no. Mid-90s BMW convertibles. This is a really good one. There's a sideswipe thing on it near the end. It's like they cut a scene where she must have had an accident.

1:15:05Bill Simmons:Yeah, on the way to the beach. And then she wakes up and she's got her cars all fucked up. What is homie dropping in speed? I think it was a BMW convertible. That was a BMW convertible. And then what's the one that's on the Frank Ocean cover? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that a BMW? I'm not sure. I don't have any other Apex Mounds. Cruiser Hanks, what do you got? Just tough. This is really hard. You can go any age range of Cruz or Hanks. I was told I couldn't do that last week. No, you can. Okay. I would probably give... You tried to cheat last week. No, I didn't. You tried to give him one of the lesser roles.

1:15:50Literally, one of the guys she picks up is Cocktail Cruise. Or Magnolia Cruise? Yeah. Oh, Magnolia Cruise.

1:15:59Bill Simmons:Oh. He's Hollywood Hills guy? The long hair. Yeah. That's good. I was going to say Cruise now in the Ben Kingsley role. Interesting. Doing a couple like old man Tom Cruise things. But he'd probably want to be the hero. But it's Cruise, not Hanks. I don't see Hanks being able to keep a straight face in this movie. I got Cruise as the Michael Madsen guy. Get some running. Hmm. You got to run after the alien. Does get him running. He's very dynamic. You can get more things. Maybe a couple of great stunts. Natasha's probably like two inches taller than him. That'd be a problem. She's probably two inches taller, but at that point, she's also, if Cruz is in the movie, she's going to have to be between 20 and 25 years old anyway.

1:16:40Bill Simmons:Scorsese or Spielberg? Spielberg. Spielberg. I had Scorsese. Interesting. I wanted his gritty sex alien movie steeped in Catholic guilt. What's the most sci-fi he's ever done? Like Shutter Island? Yeah, I think you're right. Instead of an empath, it's a Catholic priest. Last Temptation of Christ? Yeah, sci-fi. Philip Seymour Hoffman role. Probably the Molina part? Yeah, that or the guy, the Palisades guy. The Molina part is pretty perfect for him. Hey, let's take a picture. Palisades guy, he had a Polaroid camera, he had a charcuterie board. nice quiet neighborhood nice guy high credit limit you know also just got promoted hey this is fast for me hey he just wants to wine and dine a little bit and what does he get do you think that's the Dennis Feldman avatar do you think Dennis saw himself as the Palisades guy he should put that in the Wikipedia I had that I'll just do this now for picking nits anyone in 1995 turning down sex or being like this is too fast especially that guy yeah yeah Yeah.

1:17:49We were like, really? We ready? What's the purpose of having a mansion in the Palisades with a pool if sex... And a hot tub. And a hot tub. So screwed up, though, because everything's kind of going fine. And then she makes it too intense. She's like, I want a baby. And he's like, ah. I don't know. I think someone's at the door.

1:18:06Bill Simmons:Don't go. Please. I want a baby. What? Excuse me? Oh!

1:18:17I feel like that's reasonable.

1:18:20Bill Simmons:It was almost like she hadn't had social interactions for 24 hours. I'm going.

1:18:29Bill Simmons:Okay? I'm going. All right. It's full send. Yeah. Oh, we barely get to do this category. How would Van Latham get out of this one? Okay. He wouldn't. Yeah, clearly. single van brings Syl back to the crib and she's moving really fast and you realize she might be an alien how do you get out of it okay so I realize that she might be an alien or you realize something is way off and you need to you need to abort the night how do you get her out of the house how do I get her out of the house how do you not die well that's never gonna happen I'm gonna do something different that's how you get out of it so I realize that she's an alien and I say, look, you don't have to kill me after we have sex because we're going to have sex.

1:19:19I'm going to take this off. I'm going to give you what you want. Right, you don't have to pray in Mantis this. We're in the same team. You don't have to pray in Mantis this. What's better than one alien baby? Five.

1:19:32And I'll be there for the housework. And I'll be there. You can pump these things back. We'll start again. Pump that baby out. Ready right now. Right, let's be honest. You want to start a whole new world? this one hasn't been particularly good for my people I'm with you like let's go for it me and you against the world baby so team up that's how you get out of it

1:19:55Bill Simmons:picking nets my favorite one in this whole movie Madsen's character this tough guy the first time we see him he's handing a cat to his cat sitter I have a feeling that was a Madsen you know what would throw people off is if I had a cat it's so stupid Donaldson's like whatever man I just need the shot how is it not like like a Rottweiler or like some sort of cool Michael Madsen dog he's got a cat he's probably on the road a lot dogs need a lot more you know that's ridiculous the train porter clothes just a horrific murder people walk in it's like oh my god it stinks there's a cocoon on the wall there's blood everywhere and Natasha's wearing her clothes out clean as a job clean and a fit not a stain and a fit And they fit.

1:20:41And they fit. I don't want to, you know, but the sister on the train and... They didn't have the same body type. They didn't have the same body type, yeah.

1:20:49Bill Simmons:How did they follow her from the club to the Hollywood Hills house is never explained. Well, because the doorman is like, oh yeah, Robbie took home a pretty good chick tonight. Doorman just knows where Robbie lives from the exact address. They were like, you know, the usual... Because Dan is like, it would be a nice guy. Right, and they go, Robbie's a nice guy, which he turns out not to be. No, he's not. I don't think the doorman knows Robbie's home address. But maybe Robbie was just low blood sugar. Not to make excuses for his behavior. It's true. Yeah, maybe he was right. I get it. Could they really figure out semen in the hot tub water in 10 minutes?

1:21:23Bill Simmons:Which is what happens in this movie. I mean, if they could. They just checked. There's no semen in the hot tub. It's like, you guys just got here. Can we do that that fast? What if they were like, we just checked this water. It's all semen. So this guy has been doing work up here in the Palisades. This guy's throwing ropes.

1:21:47Bill Simmons:Oh, my God. It's all semen. Any other nitpicks? That is an incredibly nice motel manager for the Sahara. I don't get the impression that that is like guys who are really interested in customer service or, you know, safety of tenants. You forgot your card, lady. Hey, you forgot your card. and you could go dancing at id. It's just like, and he's this really nice guy where it should be like, I'm going to human traffic her. That is my nitpick. People weren't horny enough for her. Yeah. She's in LA. Like, no, there's not one scene where someone goes, Jesus Christ, you should be modeling with us. She keeps bumping into the nicest people.

1:22:25Yeah, so people weren't horny enough for her. And just everything else I've talked about, they put a microbiologist in combat later on in this movie. Yeah. Like, you know, come on, man. I got one nit. Yeah. After the hot tub murder, she's still on the loose and Ben Kingsley's like, let's go home, get some sleep. Yeah. He's like, let's go home and crush tape. It's okay.

1:22:48Bill Simmons:Madsen's like, there's a hockey game on I gotta catch. Sequel, prequel, Prestige TV, all black cast are untouchable. I've already made my Prestige TV case. I mean, they made so many bad sequels of this. Your Prestige TV pitch was great. Prestige would be great right now. Is this movie better with Wayne Jenkins, Danny Trejo, Doris Burke, Sam Jackson, Nell, Byron Mayo, Tony Romo, Chris Collinsworth, with Daniel Planbu, Longlegs, or Wilford Brimley. I'm still in the lab trying to figure out how to get Shaq involved with more movies, but I do think DB just being like, Bonjour, Mademoiselle Hensrich!

1:23:19We see you! You came out of that cocoon naked as the day is long!

1:23:28Oh, DB. Yeah. We have to remix some of these. I definitely think Byron Mayo would have been an interesting addition. What's going on here, my friend? Oh, it's still. If you need the seed, just ask. No reason.

1:23:45Bill Simmons:Got that wedding dress on. You're ready to roll. I have a, I think first take Jay Williams needs to be brought into consideration here. Bill, come on, man. No, I'm just like, here's this hot alien who needs to mate two days. Can't mate with anybody. Are we sure she was good? Like he's just zagging. I can't wait for this summit where it's like Jay Williams, Nick Wright, DB. Everybody sitting down. And it's like, God damn, Bill. Just one Oscar who gets it. It's probably special effects. I had Madsen just for the hell of it. Probably in answerable questions. What was your FCR?

1:24:26Do we think Sean Marks would have drafted the species if they were eligible? I think I wrote that down really late at night.

1:24:35we really like some of her flexibility uh i don't know are the overarching aliens that she comes from are they pleased with her is she doing a good job for them well they don't know what's going on yeah i mean she was like basically cooked up in a report back i know but like so these aliens had enough technology and all this to do this but they're not watching what's going on? I think the implication is that she's not unlike Dan an empath and that she is reflecting the society that she's been thrown into which is like a predatory violent you know fucked up place. Yeah but they had this master plan to infect us with their race did they not?

1:25:16They did. Are they watching?

1:25:18Bill Simmons:I think they're just kind of hoping it plays out that way. Interesting. They were like can't believe Kingsley is gonna do this. so he's not gonna tell anyone huh okay like the dare queen trade yeah that's an unprotected pick uh i have one unanswerable so if you were the conciliary for natasha when she gets off the train um where would you tell her to go like it's time to mate you're very attractive blonde lady i think the move would have been south bay just walking up and down the strand trying to maybe meet some beach volleyball. She wants strong, virile guys to continue her little alien human.

1:25:58Bill Simmons:USC frat party. You want to find guys in their late teens? No. I don't think you want a party. She wants virile guys. I'm saying 19 to 25. Well, she's 21. She's 21 in this. I think she's 21. I thought you meant for a second just like where would you go as a tourist um where there's a piece of that too like it's probably like when she's in santa monica it's like all right guy who's got like a nice winery in the central valley you know what i mean like a guy you would have told her to los olivos do some wine tasting i would have accepted any location with her okay i just think anywhere she goes would have been hilarious i just now every time i think of it i'm like this should have been a tv show still at disney world would have been amazing that would have been amazing yeah so going to a Laker game so like I wanna I wanna go to still at the Lakers game is she's gonna I wanna go to Eagle Rock heard there's some really smart people up there still with Gretzky yeah she's going to Vidiot's yeah she goes to the Laker game she's gonna she's gonna find her mate she'll find some people and then she finds Leo DiCaprio yeah what piece of memorabilia would you want or not want from this movie I couldn't come up with one I had a Forrest Whitaker's Koofy that's a good one Oh, look at you, reaching out.

1:27:21Coach Finstock Award.

1:27:23Bill Simmons:Coach Finstock Award, best life lesson. Don't underestimate hot, horny aliens. Yeah, I had, if a six-foot blonde woman wants your baby at the club, it's probably too good to be true. Right. Yeah. Women are not to be used. Yeah, that's cool, man. Nice to meet you, man. See, I can do both things. I can do both. Best double feature choice, Under the Skin? I had Mimic, the Mira Sorvino movie that came out a couple years later. it's basically about killer cockroaches and more shit. So I went obscure. There's a movie called Amanda and the Alien. You guys have probably never seen it. It's with Nicole Eggert.

1:27:58It's a very low budget movie, but it's about this lady who she meets an alien and the alien is on Earth, like learning its body, having sex with different people and all of that. Amanda and the Alien. I don't know this one. 1995. says it's a TV movie made for cable. I think it was for Cinemax or one of those because there's some scenes in there.

1:28:21Bill Simmons:Oh. Did you really say under the skin? Yeah, it was just, that was like... Under the skin as in Scarlett Johansson? But that's like a beautiful art film. Yeah, it was just so beautiful. I didn't know that you fucked with John Glazer. That was a fucking moment. That was a fucking moment. I was thankful. Very thankful.

1:28:44Bill Simmons:Who won the movie? Mikey? Yeah, I guess. Natasha. I'm trying to fucking honor him because he just passed away. That's why we're doing this. Right, wow. It's a great performance for him. But yeah, she wins the movie. Craig, what'd you think? Well, you know, Mount Rushmore of most 90s movie premises, I would say. Just out of control 90s vibes. Can't imagine the audition process for this film and what that was like. Look, this movie's not good, but it's extremely enjoyable. Kind of the perfect blend of that. I respect the hell out of the attempt. Had no problem with any of the nudity stuff that you guys always claim that I have an issue with.

1:29:23That's what it's about? That's what it's about. It's just when it's randomly in an action film and a girl in a car gets in an accident and some extra is topless in a hotel room. I'm like, all right, maybe I didn't need to be there. For this, we could have used a little more. What are you talking about, Craig? Yeah, you know, this was definitely a film where I was like, they grow up so fast. They do. Didn't exactly tell Liz the premise. Oh, Liz, watch this with you? No, no. I was like, I think I'm going to sit this one out. I'll watch this on my own. I have a feeling where this one's headed.

1:29:51Bill Simmons:So that's like very passive thumbs up from Craig. Yeah, it's like. I think he enjoyed himself. Very enjoyable, but like, is it a good movie? Yeah. This is what we did in the 90s. We weren't trying to win Oscars with movies we made sometimes. We were trying to go see. Just like, let's put some fun people in a movie. Six seconds of Natasha Henshaw's top list. Good premise. Not all the time. you just got a cool idea, you make a movie, and then, boom, it's on the screen. That's the Donaldson way. Yeah, it's the Donaldson way. It's pre-internet, it's pre-online porn. People had to go to the theaters and stuff like this.

1:30:25We did. You would never do this now. You wouldn't. Now it would have to be something more.

1:30:30Bill Simmons:This is how you got people in the theater. Now we have IMAX and Brad Pitt and F1 cars, and that's how you got people to go. Back then it was like Natasha Andridge, Naked Horny Alien. Chris, in the same vein of your, like, what if this lady was just a six? I think it'd be really funny if it was just a guy and he was kind of ugly and he couldn't get any girls. So he had to just, like, get a job and have a wife. Yeah. John Lovitz. That's right. He's like, well, I guess I love it. I guess I got to develop a personality now. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Craig Corbeck, Jack Sanders, Ronick, thank you. Dan, see you, Art.

1:31:03Bill Simmons:Good to see you. Good to see you, man.

1:31:15Bill Simmons:This episode is brought to you by the movie Mutiny. Only in theaters August 21st, Jason Statham stars in Mutiny, the new action thriller from the director of Plane. When an international conspiracy turns deadly, Statham goes off the grid on a one-man mission to take down those responsible. If you're a fan of The Beekeeper, The Meg, or The Expendables, Suspendables, this is exactly the kind of movie you want to see Statham in. One of the defining action stars of the last 25 years, doing what he does best. Think Die Hard on a boat. Mutiny, only in theaters August 21st. Rated R for strong, bloody violence and language.

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