‘The Hand That Rocks the Cradle’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Joanna Robinson

12:55Joanna Robinson:I don't know. It's a middle ground. What about, like, to me, like, it's. What about Gone Girl, Rosamund Pike?

13:04Bill Simmons:Semi-finals. Jennifer Jason Leigh, single-way female. Yeah, maybe semifinals. Maybe that's your final four.

13:09Joanna Robinson:What about the jailbait division of like Alicia Silverstone? Poison Ivy? Drew Barrymore. Yeah.

13:15Bill Simmons:Poison Ivy's dark. Yeah. Poison Ivy, Drew Barrymore is 16, has a passion affair with Tom Skerritt who's like 40. Okay. And like, they have like a sex scene. I don't think that would be flying out. What year is this? This is early 90s. Like 91 or something like that, yeah. Zoe was home for a month and she loves these movies and we watched The Crush because it was on Tubi and 20 minutes in she's like Dad, how did they make this? I know. The Crush and the Babysitter. 16? I was like, I don't know. Different times.

13:47Joanna Robinson:That's a curse double feature. The Crush and the Babysitter. Fear is another one from that era where you're like, holy shit. Fear is very much in the Lifetime movie. Every boyfriend is bad. But that's another one

13:57Bill Simmons:that has really good actors like William Peterson's in that. Wahlberg. Reese Witherspoon. Alyssa Milano.

14:03Joanna Robinson:A rollercoaster.

14:04Bill Simmons:De Mornay, though. So, we did Risky Business a while ago. And she's Lana the prostitute. And is with Tom Cruise and his lights out. And every guy my age is in love with her from that point on.

14:18Joanna Robinson:I think that train, that sex scene on that train, is one of the best sex scenes in all of cinema.

14:24Bill Simmons:Tangerine Dream? Tangerine Dream. I know CR's down with it. More for the music, though. And it just never happened for in the 80s. Slugger's Wife I remember was a big one with Danny from Caddyshack it was a baseball movie Craig he played a home run hitter in the Atlanta Braves

14:40Joanna Robinson:and she was the titular Slugger's Wife

14:42Bill Simmons:it was horrible it's like a really terrible terrible he just he looked like he was swinging like a big salami it just wasn't it just didn't seem like he had a bat it was like he was Runaway Train okay Eric Roberts John Boyd probably the best one she did. She made this movie called And God Created Woman that was supposed to be... Is that like a Blake Edwards movie? It was Roger Vadim, whatever his name was. Yeah, yeah. And then she made this movie, Feds, and it just never happened. I remember Feds. She apparently was trying to get Tinkerbell and Hook, lost it to Julia Roberts and was like, fuck it, I'm going darker.

15:22Bill Simmons:And did this.

15:23Joanna Robinson:She was in a much better Tinkerbell.

15:24Bill Simmons:Well, and then she had a couple 90s movies, but it's just like, Even when she did Prestige for HBO, it was John in Cincinnati. She just had bad luck with parts and movies. I always thought there was more there, Jo. I thought she was a really good actress. I thought she was smoking hot. And I thought she could be evil or nice depending on the situation.

15:44Joanna Robinson:Her trilogy for me is Risky Business, Hand the Rock's Cradle, and then The Three Musketeers, the 90s Three Musketeers. That was another good one. She's fantastic in that movie. She's just always incredible. and yeah, just didn't pick the right projects, I think. There's like probably half a dozen 80s and early 90s movies that you could go through and be like, oh, I wonder if she could have, like could she have done Kelly McGillis and Top Gun or could she have done any number of movies? That's what she's missing.

16:10Bill Simmons:She's missing the one big ass like$100 million where she's just the love interest banging it out. I always thought like, I wrote that in my notes, elevated Heather Locklear. I like that. Like, Heather Locklear goes on Melrose Place and is awesome, right? She's, like, the bitch. But it's, like, a campy, not great show. She was a much better actress than that. But she could—there was a campiness to her in a good way that I just felt like they never figured out. Yeah, like, what's another one that she could have done that, like— Well, could she have been Basic Instinct? Could she have been Sharon Stone?

16:46I feel like she could have. Yeah, but even to not do another sex pot role, like, what if she did the Meryl Streep part in The River Wild?

16:53Joanna Robinson:Right, of course, Hanson had some loyalty to her.

16:56Bill Simmons:She's in our favorite backdraft. She's great backdraft. She's really good in it. But it was always weird to see her just as like somebody's girlfriend in a movie. It always felt like there was more of a danger to her. Like, we're going to kill this guy? Yeah. Can I... But it might be the risky business thing. It might have been because that was the first time we knew her.

17:12Joanna Robinson:Right. Can I ask you, is there a more interesting biographical detail than left Harry Dean Stanton for Tom Cruise? No. And then Harry Dean Stanton showing up on set to be like, where's Tom Cruise?

17:25Bill Simmons:Yeah, they almost had like a love triangle fight. It's a great one.

17:29Joanna Robinson:Harry Dean Stanton, Rebecca D 'Amorenay, and Tom Cruise. Incredible.

17:32Bill Simmons:She's two movies short, but she worked the whole time. It just never really happened. But she's doing a lot in this movie. Like that scene when she goes to visit the husband about, hey, I want to plan a surprise party. And their blue eyes are just battling for two minutes. And then she sashays away with the stroller. And it's just like, this is just good stuff. man. She's owning the room.

17:57Joanna Robinson:She is this movie. Like, I think this movie is well written and obviously, you know, an incredible director well shot. But De Mornay's, like, her ability to change her facial expression on a dime and look absolutely terrifying and then honey sweet the next second, that's this movie.

18:13Bill Simmons:Yeah, my wife said, my wife thinks she's great in this movie. She's like, she's really good at being an actress, playing a bad person who has to pretend to be an actress. Yes. Pretend to be a good person. The second layer actress where she's like, oh no. Yeah. The baby almost ate the earring. But you know she's full of shit.

18:32Joanna Robinson:Claire, we were so worried about you. We're so glad you're home.

18:34Bill Simmons:Her eyeballing the red dress when she's trying on the black dress. Oh, yeah. You told me you could borrow this. There's like a million. Yeah. So why does this movie resonate with women the way it does?

18:43Joanna Robinson:Why do women love this movie? I was watching and asking myself that question. And I think part of it has to do with how inconsequential the husband is. Yeah. Like he's barely in this movie and it really is just about like these two women and Julianne Moore. And that's like, those are the primary drivers of the story. And so then it just becomes like very much about women's fears of other women. And like this idea of like the from hell or bitches be crazy genre, whatever the case may be. There are plenty of reasons for women to not like it. And this is a movie that really gets to the core of something that's true about women somehow.

19:21Joanna Robinson:maybe because it has a female screenwriter. I don't know.

19:24Bill Simmons:It also starts with like the moment when she sees her on the bus. She's like, are you the Martells? And they're walking up. I'm watching with my wife. My wife's like, I would have been out too hot. You're not living in my house. You're just not. Sorry, honey. I mean, that's what Julianne Moore says.

19:43Joanna Robinson:She says it right away. Why did you bring this person into your house? Yeah. Often talked about the, you know, the latchkey kid phenomenon. and when we watch movies from the 80s being like, nobody was watching us. We were just, you know, from 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. It was up to us to stay alive. This is like the adult version of that. They're like, yeah, you know what? I just saw you almost get hit by a school bus. Why don't you come on over? This is fine. You can stay for dinner. I'm sure your letter of recommendation is totally watertight. It's such bullshit. Hey, you're going to walk around your nightgown at night?

20:14Yeah.

20:14Bill Simmons:Dropping ice cubes in the kitchen? That sounds awesome.

20:19Bill Simmons:Annabelle Shora. Yeah.

20:22Joanna Robinson:I think she's great in this movie. The character's dumb as shit, but I think she's great in it. It's so funny that

20:27Bill Simmons:it all comes full circle in The Sopranos when she plays basically the From Hell part as Tony's mistress.

20:36Joanna Robinson:You're talking to two people who have famously not watched The Sopranos? Not in order. What? Not in order. Like, I've seen like runs of episodes. Did I just... No, I've said this before. Yeah. Yeah.

20:50Bill Simmons:I'll tell you guys what happens. Tell us. It's a little later in the run. The Grumor from hell, right? She's a car salesman. Uh-huh. Like a high-end car salesman that Tony becomes infatuated with and it becomes a pretty deranged affair. And she's basically flips parts. Yeah. Which makes me wonder, like, could you have flipped parts with these two in this movie? Would have been interesting. I don't think it's as good.

21:15Joanna Robinson:Yeah, she auditioned. Yeah. She auditioned for the other part. Yeah.

21:17Bill Simmons:But I think she could have done it. I just don't think... I think the Mornay is so good as... Oh, no.

21:21Joanna Robinson:But like her coming off of Jungle Fever and being like, I'm going to do another... Yeah.

21:27Bill Simmons:Yeah, so she does... She's in Internal Affairs, which we've done. Reversal of Fortune, Jungle Fever, Hand the Rock's Cradle. And then she's in a movie called The Night We Never Met that I might be the only one who's ever seen that movie. I've seen that movie. It's in Matthew Broderick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh. They're all time-sharing an apartment. It's great. That's right. I've seen that.

21:45Joanna Robinson:It's a good movie. It's a great movie. It's gone.

21:47Bill Simmons:I don't know if it exists.

21:48Joanna Robinson:It's not a real movie, but it's a great movie.

21:50Bill Simmons:She falls for Matthew Broderick.

21:53Joanna Robinson:They fall for each other without having met each other, but just sort of like by their presence in the apartment. Yeah.

21:58Bill Simmons:Yeah. It's really an interesting movie. It's just I haven't seen it since. And then she was in Copland. Yeah, she's great in Copland. And then had The Sopranos run. And it was always a question of… And Romeo's bleeding, yeah. Well, it's sad, but it was always a question of, man, she was great. Why wasn't she more stuff? And it turned out she was one of the biggest Harvey Weinstein victims of all of them. Like he actually like sabotaged her career. But I always thought she was really good. I always liked her and everything. She's, it's really interesting to think about them doing the opposite role.

22:27Because in a traditional maybe way, you would be like, Du Mornay is better known than Annabelle Chiora. So she plays the hero in this out. But you would always be like, how could you not tell that this one is trying to take down Rebecca Du Mornay? Like it throws you off to be like weirdly like, I know I have more of an investment in Rebecca DeMornay as a performer than I do in Annabelle Chior so I'm like kind of almost expecting this to work out for her also I do think that there is some blonde brunette like Ginger Marianne kind of thing going on here yeah like where you're inverting that somewhat

23:02Joanna Robinson:I can see it yeah but and also this like the very like the preppy prep from hell sort of vibe that she's giving here Rebecca DeMornay the like button down pencil skirt flat shoes blonde hair bangs like all of that Annabella Shor would be a different energy altogether she can't quite do that yeah

23:22Bill Simmons:one of my wife's biggest issues with the movie is that the the nanny is like too she said she's like too lived like her clothes are nice she's put together oh yeah yeah and it's like what's the backstory with this lady so your husband your husband died and your son died days apart and you have some story about how they never caught the guy but she's like I just would have had 20 more questions. Well, yeah. You would have checked a single reference.

23:48Joanna Robinson:Yeah. Yeah. You didn't have an appointment. You're walking in off the street because you heard about this job at the park. You're like mid-30s? You have a letter of reference. Right. But like, yeah, there's nothing else. Like, what about, does she give her a social security number to pay her or is it cash under the table?

24:04Bill Simmons:Yeah, how are they paying her? Yeah. Seattle in the 90s. Picking Nets is going to be incredible. We're not ripping through all the nitpicks because I have 20 more. Yeah, yeah, yeah. and then we have our guy Ernie Hudson big big 2026 for Ernie on the on the rewatchables he's this character and he's in Ghostbusters and he's in Oz on a 12 year span I think Ernie Hudson's awesome in this movie now if this came out now the what the what's aged the worst with Ernie Hudson is they would just not have a non special needs actor playing a special needs person with that said I think he's doing a lot in this movie and it's like Solomon is really important as like the proxy of the audience.

24:44Bill Simmons:Come on. He's the only one who knows. His quote-unquote innocent eyes see the true evil in the house.

24:52Joanna Robinson:The shot of his bike by the trash can when like in the final sequence and you're like, oh, Solomon's on the property somewhere. He'll save the day. This is, I love this movie. This character is impossible. It's like ridiculous. You don't like

25:08Bill Simmons:the savior? The savior gardener who's already been sent packing, but is somehow monitoring the house anyway. Sent packing for having a child's underwear in his toolbox, but they're like, but he's still working again. He's working again. Outdoor privileges. Yeah, they tell the little kid, hey, so Solomon's got another job. It's like, he did?

25:24Joanna Robinson:They didn't put her, the child in therapy? Like, what are we doing? Like, what's happening?

25:28Bill Simmons:A lot of unanswered questions. Directed by Curtis Hanson, who's in a run of Bad Influence, Hand the Rocks Cradle, River Wild, LA Confidential, and Wonder Boys.

25:40Joanna Robinson:I love Wonder Boys. So he says that L.A. Confidential wouldn't have happened without this movie. The success of this movie. Yeah, this movie is such a huge success, and River Wild is such a huge success. Then he got a blank check to make L.A. Confidential, one of our greatest movies.

25:53Bill Simmons:Would you have bought that? The same director from L.A. Confidential did this movie? I feel like directors used to just really bounce around more than they do now in terms of genre. Now it's like, oh, Denis Villeneuve, I know what that's going to look like. Yeah, he's like— The 80s and 90s, it feels like they were just picking stories they liked, and it could be anything. The best safe pair of hands in Hollywood for a while. Where it was just like, he can make pretty much any genre movie you want. There's not really an intrusive sense of style. But you're never like, this is a dumb shot. Or this is a weirdly paced moment.

26:22It's all very well done. Very competent. Yeah.

26:25Bill Simmons:It's funny. Bad Influence was on the cutting room floor from Hell Month. I'm a big fan.

26:31Joanna Robinson:It's not too late.

26:33Bill Simmons:What? Not too late? You like that movie? To bring it back. To be classic. Yeah. Tubi's just cranking bad influence it just flashes it yeah Spader yeah I do like that movie Rob Lowe is oh yeah the bad boy that's right he becomes friends with Spader and and Spader's name is like Michael and he starts calling him Mick it's like they go out for the night come on Mick we're going out and just like absolutely torments him it's a good one

27:01Joanna Robinson:he loves yuppies from hell he loves and then I can see the connective tissue between River Wild in this movie for sure absolutely like definitely that's the river from hell yeah

27:11Bill Simmons:so where do we stand on River Wild because that was another it's dope I love that movie yeah yeah that's like a I don't know hiking guide from hell what do we call that one it's also not a bad remake the Netflix version of it oh I haven't seen the Netflix version Adam Brody plays the kind of Kevin Bacon part oh fun I love I love when Brody goes bad this film's title is taken from the 1865 poem by William Ross Wallace I know you have his collected works they really lay that on kind of thick yeah

27:38Joanna Robinson:Julian Morden being like what's that phrase?

27:41Bill Simmons:What's that crazy poem

27:41Joanna Robinson:I'm thinking of? We always quote that poem.

27:44Bill Simmons:That and the Pirates of Penzance just cranking.

27:46Joanna Robinson:And Pinafore. Yeah. This is a real Gilbert and Sullivan joint here.

27:49Bill Simmons:That's all they listen to

27:51Joanna Robinson:in this house.

27:52Bill Simmons:$11.9 million budget made$140 million in 1992. So this is the same year as Single White Female. This is the year From Hell really blossoms because we have Basic Instinct which is not I don't consider that a From Hell movie but that's 92. This movie and then single-way female and then Hollywood's like, all right, let's keep making this. And then concurrently... Women are crazy. Well, concurrently, Skinamax is like, let's... Whatever you guys don't make, won't make. Shannon Tweed, yeah. Are there any rejected scripts for you guys? Let's rip those out. Roger Ebert, three stars. Yeah. The film worked.

28:30Joanna Robinson:Glowing praise from Raj.

28:31Bill Simmons:Touches on a fear and that's why it appeals to us, says Raj. He praised our Rebecca at Des Mornay. Des Mornay or D-Mornay? Why did I say Des Mornay? Des Mornay.

28:42Joanna Robinson:Des Mornay.

28:43Bill Simmons:A very good job, a very sound job of being the villainous in this film and I think it's an effective performance. Villainous, not a word we use enough. Let's bring it back. It's a good one. Still time. Do you think that Des Mornay would be a good left wing option for Mbop? Mbop? Mbop? Mbop? I don't know why you were like, there's not 13 M's here. I just struggled. Just spun out on it. Sarah, it's hard to host. I know, man. Look, it's like everybody's cocky until it's time for the World Cup. It's like, shit, this guy's name. Bop it. Yeah. We're going to take a break and then we're going to do rewatchable scenes.

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30:42Bill Simmons:most rewatchable scene look this isn't 100 % rewatchable but it's really good Dr. Mock gets creepy wow we have to talk about it I wouldn't put this as a finalist we were skipping the first 20 minutes no this scene is like we are off the gloves are off Yeah. Everything about this guy. When he sends the nurse out, why don't you give him the news? I got this.

31:07Joanna Robinson:Yeah.

31:08Bill Simmons:And the way she's playing the scene too, where she's like,

31:12Joanna Robinson:huh. And then you realize,

31:14Bill Simmons:she's slowly realizing this guy's a psycho.

31:16Joanna Robinson:This is so realistic to be, you know, you have to like, you have to go get breast exams. You have to go get gynecological exams. And it's just sort of like, is this how this is usually done? Is there something going on here? And it's often like right on, right on the border there. in these cases.

31:32Bill Simmons:This is one of the many reasons why I think, I know my wife loves this movie, but it's a lot of like everyday things that happen where it's like your worst nightmare of this moment. And you were right.

31:42Joanna Robinson:It was wrong. That nanny was trying to fuck your husband. Right. You know? That's right. You're not paranoid if somebody is really trying to get you.

31:50Bill Simmons:Dr. Matt's perfectly creepy. I wanted to nominate him for Dion Waiters, but I don't want him to win. Well, because there is a, should we rename this for this person, Dion Waiters? performance in this movie, but he's up there. When he starts massaging her stomach, and he's just like, almost like he's playing the piano and she's like, it's really terrifying. The closest thing I've ever come to this is when I got a colonoscopy and right before I passed out, the guy was like, love the pod, by the way. Oh no!

32:21Joanna Robinson:And then your spanker was like... No, because I think the, whatever they give you, the pro ball or whatever, I was just like absolutely that didn't really happen

32:36Bill Simmons:yeah

32:36Joanna Robinson:love the pod love the pod by the way save that for what if you'd done it after would that have been that would have been fine but I got it fell a little tender afterwards yeah this I was like I'm high you can tell me whatever I would just say don't keep it to yourself or say after yeah yeah wow love the pod

32:57Bill Simmons:next rewatchable Peyton meets Claire and Solomon. Yeah. A scene just loaded with nitpicks. Just walking up, looking for the house. Where'd you park? What nanny at the park? Who is it? You stepped in front of a school bus? Yeah. What? So wait, you lost your job, but you're not going to, but you weren't. I just, and Claire's just in. So yeah, come on in. Oh, I'll leave you alone with my baby as I talk to Solomon. Yeah, me and my baby. Michael's like, she's great. Let's snatch her up. Yeah. yeah he's a little horned up no second interview let's go yeah let's go she's like you know nanny's talk good no reference toss it aside I lost my husband and baby within a few days no follow up questions for me sounds right tough break yeah so she hires a hot nanny with no references within six months that nanny's in the baby room

33:51Joanna Robinson:you guys have seen the obviously as Sydney Sweeney devotees the housemaid oh yeah

33:57Bill Simmons:I have not seen The Housemaid.

33:58Joanna Robinson:I watched it this morning because I was like, is this like a... I didn't know exactly the plot of The Housemaid. And I was like, is it... Very different than this. No, it is. But the opening is almost exactly the same.

34:10Bill Simmons:The Housemaid is terrible. Like, terrible. And it made like 300 million hours.

34:14Joanna Robinson:It made so much money.

34:16Bill Simmons:But proving it again, people love this genre. Yeah. It's the perfect date movie. It's the perfect...

34:21Joanna Robinson:No, I mean, there are reasons inside the plot of that movie that there's like, we're not bothering with references. and here's your weird little Garrett room and it's all the same.

34:32Bill Simmons:And she's an ex-convict. Yeah. And she looks like Cindy Sweeney. Next rewatchable, this won't win, but it has to be mentioned, the 3 a.m. breastfeeding. Sets the alarm. Oh, that's nice. She's going to get up with the baby. Oh. Oh, no. Gas from the audience. Oh, no. The double date with Julianne Moore. Can't wait to talk to her later. Incredible. Never let an attractive woman in a power position in your home. Is that the life lesson? Yeah, remember that one, Craig. We get multiple smoking. Yeah. And also Michael being like, can I have a cigarette? Which is a real... Let me have one of those. Yeah.

35:12Joanna Robinson:What about the no hand smoking while driving? Oh, it's iconic. Yeah, just like the cigarette dangling.

35:18Bill Simmons:The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.

35:21Joanna Robinson:Yeah.

35:23Bill Simmons:Bonus points. Said the title. one of my favorites that's the name of the show when I'm dead that'll be the world the Bill Simmons Award for saying the title in the script

35:34Joanna Robinson:when that happens does it make more sense to you that Amanda Silver went from writing this later to being behind all the Apes movies and also the Avatar sequels yeah is that true yeah she does very well for herself yeah she's made a ton of money on Apes movies and the Avatar sequels

35:51Bill Simmons:honestly I'm not surprised because this movie's super smart it's very well constructed yeah so it makes sense since she figured out apes. The lady at the park telling Peyton she has her baby's eyes. And our girl Becky, Becky DeMornay, Yeah. Does the, Really? She's like, Oh man, here we go. Is this also when Peyton checks Roth, the little kid? Right in there. I'm limping those two together. Peyton fucking with the little kid. Peyton at the park. is a good scene, yeah. Yeah. I like when she has like a good angry walk across the park where it's like, oh no. And then she pulls the kid. It's like definitely, you know.

36:34Joanna Robinson:She like twists his arm behind his back. It's real child abuse going on.

36:37Bill Simmons:But it feels like benevolent child abuse.

36:40Joanna Robinson:But also, did that kid have it coming? His arm's going to be fine. And he had it coming. And all of his friends are like, that was so cool. Maybe she scared him straight. Maybe he's going to be great now. Yeah. The FedEx envelope disappears.

36:54don't wait till the last day Michael

36:55Joanna Robinson:if you're an asthmatic do you live in Seattle? there's a lot of hills I just have questions about that a lot of rain is rain bad for asthma? is rain bad for asthma?

37:04Bill Simmons:yeah it brings up shit does it? yeah doesn't it? I don't think so I think rain usually gets rid it clears out the air I think that's what people think but it's the opposite doesn't rain kick up stuff? you should have done that in RFK voice actually the rain is the worst actually the rain. I've got root asthma vaccines.

37:25Joanna Robinson:I think the first rain kicks up stuff. Yeah, that's what I thought. I guess if it rains every day nothing gets kicked up. Yeah, it's constantly clean in Seattle.

37:33Bill Simmons:Bring the FedEx envelope to FedEx yourself. Don't give that one to the wife. Such a dickhead move. It's a once every three months thing. You really, you're going to trust that to somebody else? Drive it yourself.

37:44Joanna Robinson:I mean, I do think you can give your wife an important document to mail. Like, it would be like, I wouldn't have given my wife. But also I would have a copy of it. Yeah.

37:52Bill Simmons:You know what I mean? Hey, Carrie, will you take this rewatchables rundown? I have no other copies. Here. Chris needs it. Yeah. I thought that was ridiculous.

38:02Joanna Robinson:Wait, so that's in rewatchable. We're just into ridiculous?

38:05Bill Simmons:I'm just going through all the scenes. I like when she steals the envelope and dumb Claire doesn't realize it and has the asthma attack. I like when she goes nuts in the bathroom stall. Oh, just ripping it up. Yeah. And then she starts banging shit with the plunger. Oh, the plunger. Yeah.

38:17Joanna Robinson:I'm like, that's evidence. Why would you leave all that evidence behind in a bathroom song? People could have totally heard that. Claire's outside the door. She's like, yeah, the bathroom's right there. And she's like, good, because I have to destroy it.

38:27Bill Simmons:She has two good freakout scenes. The second one near the end when she's trying to break open the door. And DeMorne is just like... Oh, yeah.

38:36Joanna Robinson:Her shining audition. Yeah.

38:39Bill Simmons:She's really going nuts. Yeah.

38:41Joanna Robinson:The poker. She's great with a shovel. She learned all that in The Slugger's Wife. Yeah, yeah.

38:46Bill Simmons:this is uh in the running for most rewatchable good sluggers wife reference Peyton Peyton be mean to Solomon that's mine are you

38:58Joanna Robinson:are you a retard

39:00Bill Simmons:are you a retard

39:02Joanna Robinson:he's like no and then the slap

39:03Bill Simmons:did you like looking at me

39:06Joanna Robinson:that's that scene is insane

39:09Bill Simmons:my version of the story will be better

39:12Joanna Robinson:1992

39:14Bill Simmons:it's really great I love Solomon it's really hurtful when she's that mean to him it's so fucked up

39:19Joanna Robinson:yeah

39:20Bill Simmons:it really ties in like just that line

39:23Joanna Robinson:as an opener and you're just like what movie am I watching yeah she's also like that's more evidence of like you were fucked up before your sexually abusive husband died you know right

39:36Bill Simmons:from this moment on the movie is off the rails I feel like I could tell

39:40Joanna Robinson:by the amount of pipe railing that they had at their house that she was mentally unwell before this all started.

39:46Bill Simmons:The smoking date to plan the party, I put this in just for CR. Julianne Moore and Matt McCoy. It's on. Yeah. It is on between Marley and Michael. Yeah, I think there might have been a, she might have blown him in the car before he went home. I have never done that with another woman. Yeah. Like, chain smoking at a bar late at night to plan my wife's birthday. Especially when your wife knows you only smoke with her. Yes.

40:12Joanna Robinson:And then he, he doesn't even like It's like swish with some scope or something like that. He gives her a double kiss? Yeah, double kiss when he's got a cigarette mouth. I've come home and I'm super excited. Like, I'm all fired up from the bar. From the blowjob in the car? Yeah. Okay.

40:25Bill Simmons:Well, he also has a beard. Like, you gotta like, if you're hiding the smoking evidence after, you gotta go into the bathroom before you leave the bar. Yeah, you gotta do the silkwood shower. I mean, you gotta put stuff in. You have to. You can't live there.

40:40Joanna Robinson:Thank you so much. I make that reference all the time and people look at me blankly. He comes in, he's chewing gum.

40:44Bill Simmons:I'm like, what's going on? Like, but no, he just comes right in. My wife likes to remind me of how like my whole thing would be like, I'm going to have this one cigarette before I go into like Easter dinner or anything important. It's just like, so that I don't have to go out afterwards or like in the middle of dinner. And she's like, then you would like triple inhale like an entire camel light and come in and just smell like Mickey Rourke. And everybody would be like, Jesus Christ. This guy just rolled out of your face. And you're like, the party's here. Well, Claire's somehow not threatened at all by Marlene or the nanny.

41:19Joanna Robinson:Because Marlene's a girl's girl.

41:20Bill Simmons:Honestly. Claire really only cares about plant life. I don't know, but she clearly has issues with that Marlene was the husband's first love. Right?

41:30Joanna Robinson:Only because DeMornay's like stirring it up.

41:33Bill Simmons:No, but even before that. Come on. That's a whiff weird. They seem like they used to be tight and now it's once every like two months they see each other. Definitely they have Life gets in the way

41:45Joanna Robinson:Life does get in the way I do find that like The way that Julianne Moore Comes in hot And she's like This chick Are you kidding me Get her out of here Yeah You know And then in terms of like Investigative journalism Julianne Moore's on the case So I kind of feel like She's She's kind of a girl girl She's like Basically like The slightly nicer version Of Peyton So she's like Game recognizes game I know a crazy one I love that I love her

42:08Bill Simmons:To jump on those two points Marlene's basically Probably broke up With the husband right oh for sure so it's like they're buddies but deep down she knows like that could have been

42:19Joanna Robinson:my husband yeah yeah i just didn't want it i'm in the power yeah yeah um i didn't want a scientist

42:26Bill Simmons:claire yell oh smoking date to plan the party into peyton hitting on michael at the yeah uh claire yells at michael with the surprise party happening in the next room unbelievable really tough. Unbelievable. Everybody's here. Everybody's here. Thing turns into curb for a second. Yeah. Greenhouse murder. I love the apple eating. Yeah.

42:52Joanna Robinson:Green apple. It's just like... That's how I eat a green apple. Is it? Yeah. Yeah. I love green apples and that's how I eat them because... Really? That's how my grandpa ate them and that's how he taught me. You like whittle it like a piece of... Yeah, you carve it. Yeah. Wow.

43:05Bill Simmons:Do you empty inhalers with the same orgasmic look on your face or no?

43:09Joanna Robinson:I stopped to look at myself in the mirror and I'd go, yeah, I'm doing it about to murder someone.

43:14Bill Simmons:Emptying nine asthma inhalers. Yeah. Claire punches Peyton. Great.

43:21Joanna Robinson:Pretty good right hook. Right into the dining room table. Dr. Mott's wife.

43:25Bill Simmons:And then the big fight scene. It's my family. A lot of good attic fight scenes over the years. Sure. I don't know what your favorite one is, CR. You know, anytime we go in the attic, shit's going down. That's a niche genre. Yeah. Attic fight scene pyramid. Let's do it. There's been some good ones. Sometimes somebody will just fall through the attic. They never really fight in the attic of Home Alone, do they? I'm trying to think. Is there a fight in the attic of Money Pit? Oh, yeah. What's your most rewatchable scene? I think I'm going with Marlene's death. It's really like the way that she designs the greenhouse to collapse so that when the door opens, it's just awful.

44:05like getting showered with plate glass would be really, really bad way to go. I think that would kill you.

44:11Joanna Robinson:It depends. Like I was looking for a shard in like the jugular or something like that. Do you know what I mean? I had this later in picking. I don't think she died from that. I think if she hunches down, like if you give the ceiling your back, you can survive. But if like your neck's here and a shard hits you in the neck. I don't know. Like you remember in Nice Guy where he punches the glass and like his wrist is just exploding with blood. Like imagine that times 40. I just don't know if the ceiling, the roof is high enough to create that much velocity to impale you like that.

44:37Bill Simmons:Yeah. Oh. I had it as my number one pick in it. I don't think you'd die. Well, it doesn't really matter because it's not like Peyton was going to let her live.

44:45Joanna Robinson:Yeah. I think if she was just dazed, she would have taken a shard and just like stabbed it in her neck anyway.

44:50Bill Simmons:But I think what Joe said is the right point. It should have been one of the shards like she's like this. One of the shards right in the neck or like... She should have had a piece of glass sticking out of her neck. Yeah. Otherwise, you're just getting shard with that.

44:59Joanna Robinson:It's just like a genteel trickle of blood like out of her nose. Yeah. It could cut your like

45:05Bill Simmons:What's that leg artery That just like Femoral Yeah That could have been the other one That's not my favorite scene Mine is when she's mean to Solomon Yeah That scene's amazing I just can't believe There's just no way in 2026 They would have a scene like that And I think it's So effective The Solomon character does not exist in 2026 Yeah And he's so like terrified

45:30Joanna Robinson:And she just slaps him It's so good

45:31Bill Simmons:What's the most 1992 thing about this movie, Joanna?

45:35Joanna Robinson:That a scientist could live in that house. So this is 808 North Yakima Street in Seattle. It's an actual place, and I looked it up on Zillow. Right now, it's$1.8 million. This guy's a scientist who does work with the EPA. He's not living in that house. Yeah, and he's still got a FedEx zone applications for stuff, so he's not on retainer anywhere.

45:57Bill Simmons:In real life, they're living in an apartment, and Claire is still working at the coffee house down.

46:02Joanna Robinson:Right. Claire doesn't have a job. They're hiring live-in work, you know, and like I don't know what they're paying Solomon or if that's just like through the organization. I think that was like a charity thing. Yeah. But I'm just like, and they're hoping for more kids along the way. I'm just like, this is unreasonable and a science hit. If he was in tech, maybe. Yeah, and it's Claire's big project being like, I'm going to do some gardening is not really like the number one. Like, well, I'm getting pulled away from my two kids here, you know, so we got to get some job. Yeah, we got to get a live-in home.

46:28I think you could garden and keep an eye on the kids personally.

46:32Bill Simmons:What do you have for your 92? Chain smoking at work. Yeah. A little late for chain smoking at work, I think. But it is Marlene puffing away while she's like, what do you want to tip? She's so great. I have six, seven things. Julianne Moore not playing the lead female role. Yeah. That could only have happened before like 1995. Matt McCoy's hair beard combo. Elite. Just specific to the early 90s. Also, same as the sleeping with the enemy guy that she falls for. Not that guy, but the other guy. The theater teacher. Yeah, theater teacher. It was this weird two-year stretch where longer hair, little mullet, and then like a big bushy beard.

47:20Bill Simmons:And kind of like a vague, like, I'm in the sciences. Very Dr.

47:23Joanna Robinson:Quinn Medicine woman.

47:25Bill Simmons:Suitcases without wheels. she shows up carrying the suitcase no references or no googling of a nanny I just think in 2026 no way there's a Sony baby call at one point I don't think they'd make those anymore but I do think that was early 90s Sony's moved on to bigger and better things there's a lack of crest white strips in this movie that's really apparent I'm just gonna go there it's kind of mean

47:48Joanna Robinson:Julianne Moore especially yeah Julianne Moore everybody in the movie she got her teeth bleached after this movie for sure

47:53Bill Simmons:this was an early 90s thing just in time for Jurassic Park 3 or whatever she was in. And then going to the library. The Lost World put some respect. Going to the library to research news events. Yeah, Microfish. Microfish is on my list too.

48:04Joanna Robinson:This was, so. I love Microfish.

48:07Bill Simmons:I remember senior in college and then grad school going to the library like a lot for shit like that. And two years later you just didn't have to anymore. It was over. There's also like something to be said for how nice the FedEx looks that they go to. Yeah. Like it's like a like a pretty nice looking storefront like kind of counter that they've got there. But yeah, this has got some great.

48:30Joanna Robinson:Microfiche and like enhance, enhance, enhance on the microfiche. Very good.

48:34Bill Simmons:That was like if you look through those long enough, you just started to go cross-eyed. I love a microfiche moment

48:41Joanna Robinson:in a movie. Like in Pelican Brief, I think they're in a microfiche. Like that's always a great movie. It's a big movie that is. 92 Sonics.

48:47Bill Simmons:We want it. That wasn't mentioned. Okay. When you see 1992 movies, does it look like Like a better or a worse time to live? Better. Which I think is kind of like all the rage now is to say that, but I do think that there's like a… That's where the backroom started. That's right. The 89 earthquake. I think the feeling of the like just right before the tech boom in the 90s. Well, it's simpler times. Yeah. The Floyd Gondale butter in my ass and lollipops in my mouth award for something I just enjoy. I can't speak. What do you have?

49:21Joanna Robinson:Julianne Moore being an unapologetic bitch. this movie. I just really loved it.

49:27Bill Simmons:She's in character the entire movie and not wavering one second. Julianne Moore could have stolen my husband with one arm tied behind her back but doesn't. Yeah. What do you have? That's it. Julianne Moore. I have one. It's really for CR. People hiding their smoking habits in a movie. It's just so relatable. I just fucking love it. When she pulls the cigarettes out at dinner and he's had two drinks and he's like, can I have one of those? is like oh yeah but when she's like he only smokes around you I'm like that's a fucking problem that's tough that's tough that's why you're the fucking best you bring it out of him as you know that they had like such a long fight about that going home oh yeah so when she smokes it's okay huh like and then watching after with like we talked about that scene when he kisses her and it's clear she's been like just all the machinations you have to do if you had smoked but you don't want her to find out and you're just watching and going

50:20Joanna Robinson:dude just do this

50:22Bill Simmons:this and this

50:23Joanna Robinson:This is where we have to give Peyton credit. She's a great improviser, and she knows exactly. She lifted the lighter, of all things, the lighter to put in his coat pocket.

50:33Bill Simmons:Well, this leads us to a bonus smoking category. The Sean Penn, I brought my own pack award. Excellence in on-screen smoking combined with the Edie Falco and Copland Award for the character that got three times hotter by smoking. Julianne Moore, come on down. You did great. really felt like she was probably banging out two packs a day. She got called up to the majors on this one.

50:55Joanna Robinson:There's like a lot of ash on the one that she's smoking in the car. Also, again, her incorrect...

51:00Bill Simmons:The no hands in the car is out of control. Do you know what that character 100 % has? A full car ashtray. Oh, yeah. It fucking reeks. Right next to her car phone. No, what else she has is the glove compartment has three extra packs. Yes.

51:15Joanna Robinson:Oh, yeah, yeah.

51:16Bill Simmons:Like she bought like six at the gas station.

51:18Joanna Robinson:super bright lipstick just like on all the filters too. Lipstick on a cigarette filter.

51:23Bill Simmons:Her disappointment of only having matches is great. Like she's we've always talked about when you own a lighter it's like the next it's like moving in with your girlfriend basically for smoking.

51:34Joanna Robinson:You've committed. What about the cigarette case?

51:36Bill Simmons:Matches is like they sleep over but they just have a two-press next level. Oh, cigarette cases. If you have a cigarette case and lighter like you're just going to be dead when you're 50. But if you have a lighter you like and somebody's like can I bomb a light? You're like I am watching you light it. And I'm like putting my hand out to be like, we're not walking off with this one. What was the most expensive lighter you ever had? I got a lighter for my birthday from like anthropology that was World War I like trench style. So it had like a wind blocker. It was like a Zippo, but it was like really good for lighting in the wind.

52:08Joanna Robinson:Yeah. I had an Art Deco one that sort of like slid back and the light came up out of the top.

52:14Bill Simmons:Former smoker?

52:15Joanna Robinson:cloves only in true 90s fashion. And I did have a cigarette case.

52:20Bill Simmons:I got an engraved lighter in the 90s from somebody once. That's nice. Lost it. Did you ever have any like novelty like naked lady lighters? No. I realized pretty early I did not. I realized pretty early matches were the most. Like gas station ones where like her bikini would fall off as the lighter fluid went down. Yeah. I was always a matches guy. How old were you

52:41Joanna Robinson:when you had that? Hell yeah. We always drew that face.

52:45Bill Simmons:I just was always matches. What's age the best? Could you do snap match? Could you like? I was never like at that level. All right. What's age the best? Evil nannies? Yeah.

52:57Joanna Robinson:Yes.

52:57Bill Simmons:Sure. Evil nannies. True crime has helped the evil nanny. Here's what I think. Genre.

53:02Joanna Robinson:I think now, especially having watched The Housemaid and other of the genre, we're really afraid to let women just be evil. And I think we should just let women be evil. Yeah. It's fun. I think it's perfectly feminist. To let women be evil.

53:16Bill Simmons:I am in the camp of all types of people should get to be evil in movies without us having like think pieces about it. Yeah. Like let's just get weird again.

53:25Joanna Robinson:We've gone so far in the other direction that with like the Spoilers to the Housemaid or Sirens, the Julianne Moore Netflix show that was horrible. Horrible. We've like swung into you think she's crazy but actually it's the husband is the problem, you know? And it's just like women can be evil. Women can do anything including being evil.

53:44Bill Simmons:What stage is the best? Asthma wheezing? It's a good central like Achilles heel for a character. Yeah. Asthma, yeah. When do you want to do your asthma monologue, Craig? Later or now? I can use it for my flex. Okay. Okay. It's good because it's like weakness. You feel like, you know, it's like the kryptonite of the character. She can't take stress. You know what I mean? But I'm like, I'm the iron lady. Like these kids can't stress me out.

54:12Joanna Robinson:Like, again, in the improvisation front, I've killed, okay, I had to waste my greenhouse trap on Julianne Moore. Oh, well. Okay, I can set this up now as a domino effect to still kill her anyway because I've emptied all of her inhalers. And it's just like, what can't this woman do?

54:29Bill Simmons:What was the threshold for an asthma attack for her? Like, if they were arguing about what movie to go do and she's like, hmm. The FedEx thing is like a real, like. FedEx plus a steep hill. Does this freak you out? Does life just make you have an asthma attack? Sometimes FedEx, you won't bring the envelope by accident. I have a couple more. What do you have? Just early 90s Seattle as a location, both in terms of its cultural relevance. It wound up aging the best, but it just looks great. It's got great architecture, great topography for like you were saying. It feels like that one hill, the FedEx hill.

55:04Joanna Robinson:Yeah.

55:04Bill Simmons:I feel like that hill has been in like 40 movies. It's right. Was it the hill in The Vanishing where Jeff Bridges kills? Oh, maybe. I think it was.

55:12Joanna Robinson:At the bottom of that hill, I believe, is where Pike's Place is. Yeah. So it's just like right like that downtown. It's like maybe the best hill of all the hills

55:19Bill Simmons:to show that you're in Seattle. Yeah. But I feel like there's been a bunch of stuff there.

55:22Joanna Robinson:I was thinking about putting this in Apex Mountain because Singles is also 92 and Sleepless in Seattle is 93. Yeah. So like Seattle's just like having its time. And then music is going. Yeah. Xavier McDaniel is going. Music's going. What's happening, CR? Anything? Why do you think they did Gilbert and Sullivan instead of Grunge? I don't know. That's the thing. is like, you know that Michael is like, I think I might go see Soundgarden playing. He's wearing flannel. He's ready. At the music box. Yeah.

55:48Bill Simmons:I have, for what's age the best, the horny husband friend that comes over and sees the nanny for the first time. I have him. It's a fucking staple of this movie. He's like,

55:56Joanna Robinson:boy-o-yoing. Different category for this guy.

55:59Bill Simmons:Yeah. He's just in heat. But they always have to do that in a movie where like, somebody leave the room and the one guy will be the other guy. Whoa! So I had him in Butch's Girlfriend. do you think that it's realistic that Marlene would have such a simp as a husband? Or do you think it's like, this is the guy that she is like kind of running? Oh, I think that guy was super fun. I just think his scenes got cut out. I think that guy was a fun hang. We just didn't get enough minutes with him. Mr. Craven? Yeah, I think that guy.

56:30Joanna Robinson:Invite him over.

56:32Bill Simmons:Because the thing is, he's cool with Marlene and his buddy. Yeah. which means he's cool like he just he's amused by everything so I think he's a good head he seems like happy hour starts at 345 100 % yeah

56:46Joanna Robinson:but yeah absolutely she's running him and absolutely she makes all the money in that relationship

56:50Bill Simmons:that guy had six Sonics tickets he knew he's there on the ground floor he knew a guy from Ken Griffey Jr. yeah that guy that's making shit happen in Seattle yeah he knew the Griffys yeah I also have a really good little girl performance. Yeah. Madeline Zima's good in this movie. And they give her a character. Like, she actually gets to have, like, influence on the plot. Yeah. Any other would say it's the best for you? No. Okay. Great shot Gordor Award. I don't know, Sierra. What do you got? I like Mrs. Mott stepping out from the bus. Like, when she sees the bus stop, and then she kind of just emerges from a side.

57:29It's so ominous. It's like, who would stop a school bus like that? But then she has, like, a little bit of the sugar going, where she's like, thanks for stopping for me. But it's like, this is the devil just walked out.

57:40Bill Simmons:I had, when Claire finally passes out from the Oh, when she's like

57:46Joanna Robinson:flopping fish on the porch. Yeah, it looks like she's dead. I have, I mean, I like the glass shattering maybe because it made me fear greenhouses forever, but the glass shattering down from the greenhouse. But more importantly, when the dumb husband, Matt McCoy, goes downstairs and he's like, oh, it was just the alarm clock. like no need to worry and he comes up the stairs and she just like in a red cardigan like pops out from around the corner with the shovel and you get a little horror movie cue when she does it and then she just smacks him it's great I literally jumped

58:18Bill Simmons:he somehow breaks both his legs falling seven feet and Claire's kind of like I'll deal with you later yeah and later she's like

58:24Joanna Robinson:should we go see daddy when everything's fine she's like let's go see daddy who's crippled in the basement it's fine

58:30Bill Simmons:Big Kahuna Burger Award best use of food and drink has to be the green apple yeah Yeah, absolutely. Chess Rockwell Brocklanders Award for Best Character Name. Marlene Craven. I had Peyton Flanders. Peyton Flanders.

58:44Joanna Robinson:Preppy from hell. Yeah. Peyton.

58:47Bill Simmons:Marlene Craven?

58:50Joanna Robinson:Peyton Flanders?

58:51Bill Simmons:You want me to spell it for you?

58:54Joanna Robinson:The number of times people in this movie go, Peyton. I just think it's a great name to shout. Peyton is a good name. Peyton.

59:00Bill Simmons:Kid Cudi, Pursuit of Happiness. It's really just Pirates of the Penzance coming from the basement. I think would be the only thing.

59:05Joanna Robinson:Penzance and Pinafore. What do you have for Flex CR? For the Billy Batts Jack Waltz Award for most biting and scalable insult. When your husband makes love to you, it's my facey seas. I got that same exact thing. You know what? This is basically what Sam Presti says to Sixers fans right now. Because McCain is in the three-guard rotation. When your baby's hungry, it's my breast that feeds him.

59:34Bill Simmons:Really some cutting insults.

59:35Joanna Robinson:Incredibly good.

59:36Bill Simmons:Butch's girlfriend award weak link of the film. I had Marty Craven.

59:42Joanna Robinson:I don't know if this is a nitpick instead of a weak link.

59:45Bill Simmons:It courtsides for the Sonic side.

59:50He's hanging out with Bezos and Gates. We have a huge vision for this.

59:54Joanna Robinson:I have to co-sign this. Marty Craven. It just could have been so much better. Yeah. Like even if they had Mel from 90210 switch roles with Marty. Yeah. And he's Marty Craven, right? Because he's in the beginning, the first scene with the... That's the twin brother. Yeah.

1:00:11Bill Simmons:That's not Eddie and the Cruisers. That's his twin brother. Oh, yeah. So this is part of the Eddie and the Cruisers IP then, you think? Eddie and the Cruisers guy, his twin brother is in this movie. Wait, really? Yeah. Yeah. I have stuff coming on later for it. Wow. Is he fucking with me? No. He has a twin brother. He's a twin brother. Not the same guy. Which guy is in... We're talking about some guys from Jersey. Not the same guy. Which one's in 90210? Eddie and the Cruisers. Okay. All right. I have for Butch's girlfriend. I did go in the male actor category, but not Marty Craven, who I actually enjoyed.

1:00:50Bill Simmons:Matt McCoy. Oh. They hired a TV actor for a movie. Wait a second. Matt McCoy took over for Gutenberg in Police Academy. He is a cinematic actor.

1:01:02Joanna Robinson:He is the cornerstone of IP. Important IP. I think he's in Citizens on Patrol.

1:01:06Bill Simmons:The Moscow based one We're filming an elevated lifetime movie And he's just in a lifetime movie I just feel like

1:01:14Joanna Robinson:But that character just is nothing It's a nothing character

1:01:18Bill Simmons:Throw Alec Baldwin in there There's only one woman for me But he should be I don't know what he is Is he a little hornier than he should be A little less horny than he should be You think he should be more tempted I think he should be a little more tempted

1:01:33Joanna Robinson:A see-through nightgown by a woman towel patting him dry.

1:01:37Bill Simmons:A little more tempted, a little more aware of the circumstances. And I just think he's like dorky. So who would you put in? You would put Baldwin in. I was thinking like Bill Pullman's probably the better version of this guy.

1:01:50Joanna Robinson:Well, Bill Pullman would be less Marty.

1:01:52Bill Simmons:Right. But I'm saying if you're going to go this direction, I would go Bill Pullman. But I want like the husband that might get sucked into this. That's Baldwin. Yeah.

1:02:02Joanna Robinson:I think it's like Malice Baldwin. Can I interest you in a Billy Baldwin? you could you could answer me in any Baldwin

1:02:07Bill Simmons:all the Baldwins Daniel yeah Steven

1:02:11Joanna Robinson:I'll take any Baldwin Steven's way to you

1:02:13Bill Simmons:I just thought Matt McCoy he didn't do it for me

1:02:16Joanna Robinson:Polaria Baldwin Polaria

1:02:18Bill Simmons:maybe cut it off there Vincent Chase Award for are we sure this character was actually good at his or her job I have Claire you have one job protect the house let this psycho in She's growing a lot of plants. You let this psycho in who kills your best friend and does 20 things before you realize what's going on. Like, come on, lady. I gotta zag and say, it's Michael as a husband and a father. First of all, his reaction when she's like, my OBGYN sexually abused me is, I think we better report this. We better call it in. That guy's running that fucking guy over with his car and then he'll be like, let's see if there's like, someone else's...

1:02:58That's why we needed Alec Baldwin. He's been fucking pissed. He is fucking losing it the first second. And then second of all, like, he just basically is like, sounds like you guys got the house situation all taken care of. I'm going to the lab for the rest of my life. Yeah.

1:03:15Joanna Robinson:Can I zag again? Yeah. And say... Double zag. Did Solomon really build a great fence if it broke to shit as soon as Rebecca DuMornay fell on it? Oh, interesting. Well, like... Is that a sturdy fence? That's another Michael demerit. It's like, pay for good construction. You know what I mean? You're trying to get free labor out of the Better Days Foundation. I would rather. He's a charitable guy. She definitely needs to wind up impaled, but impaled on a still intact fence. That would be my request from Solomon's construction.

1:03:46Bill Simmons:What's the age of the worst? We mentioned Ernie Hudson playing a special needs character.

1:03:51Joanna Robinson:I would say Solomon as a character.

1:03:52Bill Simmons:Would not be flying in 2026. So this movie is set in Seattle and it never rains.

1:03:57Joanna Robinson:It rains all the time.

1:03:59Bill Simmons:In this movie, it's like twice. It's sunny and happy. like over and over again.

1:04:03Joanna Robinson:Everyone's in like rain, like. Seattle's depressing.

1:04:07Bill Simmons:That's why I didn't want to live there. It's not. It fucking rains are 270 days a year. Don't yell at me. It should be raining in this movie all the time. Rain's expensive for movies.

1:04:17Joanna Robinson:It is raining. Like it's pouring when she's in the hospital. Bunch of park scenes. Yeah. You don't think they go to the park in Seattle? I think they go to parks.

1:04:26Bill Simmons:We looked into moving to Seattle in the 07 range in the rain statistics. Every time I've been there.

1:04:32Joanna Robinson:It's been quite sunny and nice. Really? Yeah. Yeah.

1:04:36Bill Simmons:Michael not being mad at his wife for losing the FedEx plans.

1:04:41Joanna Robinson:You think he should have taken a plunger and sort of beat it against the wall in his frustration?

1:04:45Bill Simmons:He's like, no, no, it's fine. I'll get to it next quarter. It's fine. I'd like to do some work now. I just feel like he'd be a little more upset. So he's applying for a grant of some kind? From the EPA, right? Or he's like a patent application or something, but he's waiting until deadline day.

1:05:01Joanna Robinson:the last minute. He's got a FedEx and he has no second copy.

1:05:04Bill Simmons:She had her asthma attack all ready to go if he got really mad at her. Yeah. It's just like, oh, so you're saying

1:05:09Joanna Robinson:she's one hand on the inhaler. Laying it on a bit thick. Oh, do you think he's afraid to yell at her lest he trigger an attack? Yeah, it was a - She's weaponized her asthma. It's like, you have one job.

1:05:19Bill Simmons:You had your fucking, the FedEx thing's in your bag. You lost it? Like, I don't understand. How'd you lose it? Go back to the restaurant. This is my career. He's just like, yeah, I'll do it. I'll get it together in three months. I don't know.

1:05:32Joanna Robinson:I think the chilly passive-aggressive disappointment is harder to take than an outburst of anger. I didn't like that character. How do you think Marty Craven would have reacted? Yeah. He would have been like, that's all right. I got Sonic tickets tonight. You could make it up

1:05:46Bill Simmons:to be the old-fashioned way.

1:05:50Bill Simmons:Also, Peyton, there's only one woman for me. What did that even mean? I met my wife. I like the fact that... That's a fucking weird thing to say. She's like, Peyton, I'm married. Peyton's so tweaked out that she actually takes that literally.

1:06:07Joanna Robinson:My favorite Peyton tweaked out moment is, I'll just get my baby. I mean my thing.

1:06:17Bill Simmons:What else do you have for what's age the worst? Because I have a couple more. Letters of reference, certainly. Need those. Seattle real estate prices no longer are like that. Correct. And I couldn't decide whether to put this in picking nits, but I'll put it in what's age the worst because when you watch the movie you're like this kind of takes me out so when Claire pushes Peyton through the window in the attic she is going full dead sprint to knock her through the window and then throws on the brakes like prime Daryl Revis yeah this is like an asthma patient like she is not that athletic but she like puts her through a wall and then stops just to avoid going through the window and is like at a standstill it's just really physically unbelievable will have.

1:07:00You have anything?

1:07:02Joanna Robinson:I really think Solomon is the chronic achievement in this movie.

1:07:07Bill Simmons:I have no nanny cams. Now you just have cameras all over the place for the psychopath as she, your greenhouse exploded and then she wanders out to make sure Marlene's dead. You would just have that on film. Big missed opportunity here. I didn't know, I almost put this in Weak Link. No pet for Peyton the Kill? There's a dead cat. an easy four minutes of, oh, where's Lucky? I think it's a dog. You think it's a dog? You think it's a dog? Emma, like, you know, or maybe Peyton, like, stages a fake dog bite and they're like, we have to put it down.

1:07:44Joanna Robinson:We have to put it, well, that's Solomon. Solomon is the puppy of this movie. And then Peyton blames Claire for putting the dog down. Yeah.

1:07:50Bill Simmons:I just think it's an easy cat murder. Sorry, Joanna. That's okay. I just think that's like, what happened to Lucky? You can kill all the imaginary.

1:07:58Joanna Robinson:Cats aren't named Lucky. Dogs are named Lucky.

1:08:02Bill Simmons:Well, just...

1:08:03Joanna Robinson:Cats are named Lucky says who? Everyone. Okay. Yeah. I've never heard of a cat named Lucky. That's a dog name. I'm Googling this.

1:08:12Bill Simmons:This is what you're Googling? Yeah, I want to Google this now. Can cats be named Lucky? No, they can, but nobody does. Is Lucky a good name for a cat? Yes, absolutely. Lucky is a very popular, cheerful, and gender-neutral name for cats. Are you asking me I right now? It's luckythecat.com I'm not listening to you guys. No. I think what happens is the cat always jumps on Claire's lap and Peyton calls the cat over and the cat doesn't want to come over and the next scene is just dead. It's got to be something where I think a dog would work because cats are already distrustful and mean but a dog not liking Peyton.

1:08:49Joanna Robinson:Yeah, barking at Peyton as soon as she shows up. Exactly. Then she's got to silence the dog.

1:08:52Bill Simmons:Easy extra five minutes. Yeah. A dog named Lucky. I needed two more Seattle scenes and then the big one that we didn't mention is Emma's a little too competent. She's like seven. Oh, when she like hides

1:09:05Joanna Robinson:when she does the fake out with the baby.

1:09:07Bill Simmons:Yeah, she's faking the baby out. She's locking doors. This kid's like seven. Zoe and Ben were doing stuff like that.

1:09:13Joanna Robinson:Did she pull the... Was the baby monitor gambit like her idea or just happenstance? Oh, that would be above her.

1:09:22Bill Simmons:All of a sudden, she's trying to outwit this lady. I guess I never thought about that. That's a good point. Hans Gruber scale for villain ranking? Peyton's at 11. She's outstanding.

1:09:32Joanna Robinson:She's fantastic. Not higher than Hans Gruber. Well, I mean, Hans Gruber is really just your common thief dressed up as a terrorist. Peyton seems really psychotic. How dare you? I think maybe if she had an inexplicable accent, she could be on Hans Gruber level, but she's one tier below.

1:09:51Bill Simmons:Ruffalo, Hannah Rubin, and Partridge overacting word. I had Marty Craven for this one. Yeah, did you?

1:09:55Joanna Robinson:He's really dialing it up.

1:09:57Bill Simmons:What do you got over there?

1:09:59Joanna Robinson:I got to say Ernie Hudson, but it's not his fault. It's not his fault. It's not his fault. That's how the role was written, but it is a lot.

1:10:07Bill Simmons:What do you have for a flex category?

1:10:09Joanna Robinson:I'm just going to keep trying to make Fetch happen and say my category is a cell phone would ruin this movie. Yes. There's a car phone in this movie, but if Marlene could text Claire and say, hey, I've got some wind chime based clues for you here. I'm certain that your nanny is a killer. then, you know. Gotta say, also, answering machine would help. It would. You know, it's like a lot of, like, when she finds the note that Marlene called. You know, it's like, Marlene being like, hey, it's Marlene. Peyton's a killer. Peyton's a killer. Guess what? By the way. Dr.

1:10:40Bill Simmons:Mutt's widow is your nanny.

1:10:42Joanna Robinson:Or, like, she does manage to call 911. I mean, 911 comes despite her just gasping into the phone. But, like, you know. If you're, I'm really curious about Asthma Corner. Like, do you have a med alert sort of system for that?

1:10:56Bill Simmons:But Craig's coming with that.

1:10:58Joanna Robinson:Yeah.

1:10:58Bill Simmons:Right now? No, we're going to take a break.

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1:12:01Bill Simmons:This episode is brought to you by LinkedIn Ads. Ever invest in something that seemed incredible at first, but didn't live up to the hype? Well, marketers know the feeling. They optimize for the numbers that look great. Impressions, reach, reacts. But when they don't show revenue, well, that's not such a great conversation with the CFO. LinkedIn has a word for that, bull spend. Instead, why not invest in what looks good to your CFO? LinkedIn ads generates the highest ROAS of all major ad networks. Reach the right buyers with LinkedIn ads. You can target by company industry, job title, and more.

1:12:36Bill Simmons:So cut the bull spend. Advertise on LinkedIn, the network that works for you. Spend$250 in your first campaign on LinkedIn ads. Get a$250 credit for the next one. Just go to linkedin.com slash rewatchables. Terms and conditions apply. The CR thinks Luke Wilson should have been Harrison Ford Award for the hottest take. I want to get back to basics with this category. Peyton's a pretty solid wife material. You know, like you have to take a long, hard look at it. Natural with kids. Chris. We'll stick up for them in the face of bullying. Great looking. Chris. She reads a room really well. Chris. You know, she sees, she can just see the landscape and definitely goes to extremes to protect her family.

1:13:22And I bet probably pretty good in bed. So, you know, like dynamite in the sack.

1:13:29Bill Simmons:I love it. Just saying, if you're Michael.

1:13:31Joanna Robinson:You're going to wife her up?

1:13:32Bill Simmons:I was wondering which one of us were going to go with she was a better wife than Claire. I mean, she would have your back. Why was Claire a good wife? She would hold you down. Yeah. Wow. It is the hottest day. Was it her fault? Dr. Ma maybe didn't turn out to be the ideal husband and co-worker? Yeah. I like that one, Sierra. What do you have?

1:13:54Joanna Robinson:Okay, so like no matter what you do, you're going to humoless pregnant women. She'll stand by you. She'll stand by you, right?

1:14:00Bill Simmons:No, she didn't know.

1:14:00Joanna Robinson:She'll stand by you no matter what you do.

1:14:02Bill Simmons:True. Well, I don't even think that she ever was able to publicly weigh in one way or the other on Dr. Ma. She's just more disappointed that she's lost the house and that the estate's being sued and she loses her baby. So she's got personal concerns. I had that in Nipix, too. Never seen like...

1:14:17Joanna Robinson:But when she says someone murdered my husband, I feel like, you know... I think she's blaming Claire. Yeah. The implication is... Super loyal to the husband for the bitter ends. These allegations against my husband. She's super loyal.

1:14:29Bill Simmons:What do you have, Joanna? Top that. I will.

1:14:34Joanna Robinson:Women, I said already, women should be allowed to be crazy in movies. I will say, maybe we've gotten too woke. That's what I'll say. The 2025 remake... this is Joe's breaking bad on us

1:14:48Bill Simmons:the 25 remake which of course I watched every episode of was terrible yeah and I don't really remember wait was it a show or a movie Hulu show it was bad was it really uh Micah Malone no Micah Monroe yeah Micah Monroe yeah

1:15:00Joanna Robinson:and Mary Elizabeth Winstead

1:15:01Bill Simmons:I have a really good hottest take Sierra's gonna be jealous this movie could have owned Gen X with like one tweak Michael the husband instead of being a genetic engineer should have been the head of Sub Pop and we could add two extra scenes where they go to like, yeah, this new band, Pearl Jams, I gotta go and I'm gonna go with Marlene because she's...

1:15:23Joanna Robinson:You think you're beating Peyton as marriage material and woke as bad from me?

1:15:30Bill Simmons:Yeah, Michael is the head of sub-pop. We now dive into the Seattle grunge scene as we're in a nanny from Hell movie. You and me going into Netflix or Apple TV and be like, we have this new vision for Hand the Rocks the Cradle or Rebake. You know, we've told this story twice from the perspective of women. We just feel like Michael and Marty really didn't get their fair shake. Yeah, let's venture the men. So here's Michael. Yeah. He's been to every Pearl Jam show since they switched from Mookie Blaylock to Pearl Jam. Yeah. And then Marty is one of the great supporters of Seattle professional sports.

1:16:01Joanna Robinson:So does the Claire Payton plot happen in the background? Yeah, it's just like our crazy wives. Those guys were at the last Mother Love Bone show.

1:16:10Bill Simmons:It's really dramatic. but you have instead of delivering the FedEx of his genetic material it's his tape somewhere it's the Pearl Jam tapes of 10 it's the first one Eddie gave these to me himself there's no other copy of 10 there's no other copy you have to bring this to FedEx and Peyton's like fucking tearing him up and we just have the music from that era instead of Pirates of Penzance this becomes the best movie of all time that would be amazing if they were listening to like Rear V Mirror

1:16:39Joanna Robinson:the Gilbert and Sullivan is so weird to me in this movie because like

1:16:42Bill Simmons:I don't understand it at all.

1:16:44Joanna Robinson:I mean, I was thinking about Sleeping with the Enemy because there is some like great like classical music in that movie but he also just has Gilbert and I presume it's him. He's the one who's like singing in the beginning. He has Gilbert and Sullivan posters all over his house. I'm like, get a second hobby. Yeah. He's got one thing which is

1:17:01Bill Simmons:He's singing it when he's shaving his daughter. He's a loser. I don't like that guy at all.

1:17:06Joanna Robinson:Does that guy have to shave his neck every day to get that line on the beard? He's like Remington stubble shavers.

1:17:14Bill Simmons:By the way, he didn't need that much shaving cream just to shave the bottom of his neck. Come on, dude.

1:17:19Joanna Robinson:That guy has some nice lustrous hair, and he keeps a sharp neckline on the beard. That's an everyday. What if that's what his genetic science stuff is? It's like neck beards. I'm not only the president, I'm a customer. He created the Mach 5. Yeah. Just blocks these hair follicles.

1:17:37Bill Simmons:Casting What Ifs, we mentioned that they tested for the opposite parts before they landed on Claire and Mrs. Mott. Sybil Shepard turned down the role of Peyton.

1:17:45Joanna Robinson:Yeah, for her feminist ideals.

1:17:47Bill Simmons:Yeah. This was end of Moonlighting.

1:17:50Joanna Robinson:Yeah. She should have done this.

1:17:52Bill Simmons:She definitely should have. She should have, and I'm glad she didn't. She really should have done this. Sybil and Rebecca, if Rebecca had played Claire and Sybil was Peyton, that would have been

1:18:00Joanna Robinson:blonde on blonde crime. Can you have two blondes in one movie? I don't know. I think it's illegal.

1:18:05Bill Simmons:Illegally blonde. Allegedly, Roseanne Arquette was involved with Peyton. I don't know if I believe that. I couldn't find second source for it. Similar look. Instead, she played that, your wife with the shit on her face. Is that that lady with the shit on her face? And then they thought about, they tested Christopher McDonald and Kevin Spacey for Michael. And thank God Kevin Spacey is in this movie because that would have absolutely ruined the rewatchability. I don't know.

1:18:32Joanna Robinson:We did Working Girl. We navigated Spacey.

1:18:36Bill Simmons:No, I just feel like him as a genetic scientist, trying to fend off for Becca DeBarnay. He would have been good as Marty though. He would have. Christopher McDonald would have been good as Marty. Christopher McDonald would have been good as Marty. Best that guy award? John Delancey.

1:18:49Joanna Robinson:John Delancey. Q from Star Trek.

1:18:51Bill Simmons:Can I offer you Matthew Lawrence's twin brother, Mitchell? Yes, you can. That you thought was Matthew Lawrence? In one scene as Laura, but yeah, John Delancey. Is Mitchell Lawrence like also a TV sports radio host now? Yeah. Is he? Yeah. Mitchell had the more interesting stuff for our purposes, but I think Matthew or no Mitchell was Matthew is the one that was in Eddie and the Cruisers 90210 and is now a sports radioist right Mitchell was his brother okay we're just some guys from Jersey how do you how do like twins twins twins who act like that must be really contentious it's not like the Morris twins where you Jeremy and Jason London there's always a better one right it works when you're children like the Olsen twins sure but once you get older then what yeah they had a lot of There's a bunch of babies playing the little babies.

1:19:40Bill Simmons:They didn't really work for the Olsen twins because now they're like... The Ashmore twins? Yeah. They don't smile. I mean, how often do you see the Olsen twins? Every picture I see them, like... That's your Olsen twin? Have you seen my Rue face?

1:19:55Joanna Robinson:From Euphoria? You know what? That's pretty good. Yeah, good job. It's pretty good. Can you give the double Mary Care smirk? Can you do that?

1:20:05Bill Simmons:I can't.

1:20:06Joanna Robinson:Can you do the let's go do drugs smirk? that she does.

1:20:09Bill Simmons:Dion Waiter's a word. Go to town, CR. I mean, it's one of the best ones we've got. Like, this is what, three scenes. She basically shows up at the house, eyeballs her, goes to dinner, goes to the bar with Michael, and then gets axed out. It's in the female Dion Waiter's Hall of Fame. It's a nothing part that she imbues with so much character just with all of her gestures and all of her little, like, teeth alone. And Shortcuts, is this year or the next year? This is right around. It's right around. And then she's in fugitive and gets cut out. But this is, Julianne Moore is starting to happen. Yeah.

1:20:41Also, I would say this, I was going to bring this up a little bit later, but we can see the foundation of Linda Partridge here. We can see a little don't call me lady. I was waiting for that.

1:20:53Joanna Robinson:Yeah. Do you want to hit me with the don't call me lady? No, just like.

1:20:57Bill Simmons:Sierra's better at it. Don't call me lady!

1:21:02Joanna Robinson:A little more waver in your voice.

1:21:07Bill Simmons:recasting couch director or city I think

1:21:13Joanna Robinson:I love that I love the Seattle-ness of this movie it's really the perfect place but I also wouldn't mind like a sweaty New Orleans version of this sweaty New Orleans is great much more erotic we'd need we'd need Michael and Marty to really step up there but just because we've done Boogie Basic Instinct recently I wouldn't mind 92 San Francisco although it's a great place to be I wonder whether San Francisco, it would have just been a little bit more like, you know, this is a bigger city. Let's check some references. Let's like make sure this nanny. Oh, yeah. There's two naivens.

1:21:45Bill Simmons:I have a Boston, but specifically Charlestown. Hey, Claire, you got to take care of that fucking nanny. I keep telling you.

1:21:56Joanna Robinson:What does Peyton sound like? How do you say Peyton in a Boston accent?

1:22:00Bill Simmons:Peyton.

1:22:01Joanna Robinson:It's just the same.

1:22:01Bill Simmons:Yeah. Well, the best one would be. Shut up, Marlene. Stay out of office. The Boston part. Can you imagine Marlene smoking parliaments being like, I'm showing an apartment over in the fence.

1:22:21Bill Simmons:They're at Sully's pub trying to figure out the surprise party. We can't tell her. If you give him$1 ,000, Cam Neely will come by and say hi.

1:22:35Craig what do you have for a flex I'm gonna go with the Marion Cabretti pizza cutting award for why didn't anyone on set stop this as somebody who had seasonal asthma as a kid and had an inhaler the way they depict Claire using an inhaler in this movie is offensive to people with asthma it is a light spritz of air yeah and she open mouths it she doesn't even touch it to her lips

1:22:57Bill Simmons:and she's immediately recovered which is not how it works there was no asthma consultant at all cause she's like

1:23:01Joanna Robinson:yeah you gotta wrap your mouth She treats it like it's fucking breath spray. You got to create a seal. You got to, it's a deep inhale. She thinks it's binaca. Yeah, she does think it's binaca. It takes a while. Like it takes five, 10 seconds and you're doing multiple puffs. That thing is three inches from her mouth. Like it's Listerine. Would asthma kick in when you were stressed out lately? That's real. Mine was more just like because of allergies, like running would be hard. But I think that's the thing. I had a two, the hay fever. Did you have inhalers like stashed all around the house? Yeah, I never really had attacks like this, But I would just have an inhaler I would take regularly from, like, March to June.

1:23:37But that is a thing where stress induces asthma attacks. But an embarrassing use of it in this movie.

1:23:44Bill Simmons:The asthma spray-ish scenes. Yeah, when she's, like, untrained. Some of the dumbest things that have ever been captured on film. It's not like only a couple people have asthma. Like, a lot of people use inhalers. Just nobody involved in this movie. It's just fucking bizarre that they chose to play it that way. Also, her asthma just goes away. the last scene. Claire. She's about to die and then gets up, tackles. Oh, she's faking. She's faking. She's faking. Oh, that's a...

1:24:07Joanna Robinson:Yeah.

1:24:08Bill Simmons:Yeah, because they show the little kid and the little kid's like, oh, I know. Because that little kid is smart at all times.

1:24:14Joanna Robinson:Yeah. That's why... It's part of why the asthma runner is there so at the end she can like pretend to have it and then just... If they remade this movie now,

1:24:22Bill Simmons:the little kid would be on a device all the time and it would be completely useless when it came time to being resourceful. Are you saying

1:24:27Joanna Robinson:a cell phone would ruin this movie? I agree.

1:24:28Bill Simmons:Hey, you got to take that kid to the third floor. Throw your iPad at her. Half-assed internet research. You mentioned it was Amanda Silver's film school thesis.

1:24:39Joanna Robinson:Yeah.

1:24:41Bill Simmons:Film a shot in location, mostly Seattle and Tacoma. Really wasn't a lot of good research except for Mrs. Mott visits Michael's workplace. And it was filmed in Redmond, Washington at the Biotechniques Laboratories, which was demolished two years later to make room for the expansion of Microsoft. I also really like in that lab scene where like Michael's assistant's like hey, like really hot, hot woman. He's like, that's my nanny. How dare you? Apex Mountain. De Mornay, would you go this or Risky Business?

1:25:15Joanna Robinson:Risky Business, I would say.

1:25:17Bill Simmons:It felt like she was going to be one of the biggest stars in the world after Risky Business. Matt McCoy, I'm going to say yes.

1:25:24Joanna Robinson:Sure. Inhalers?

1:25:28Bill Simmons:Inhalers in a movie, I think yes. How about cinematic breastfeeding? This or Barbarian? Why don't you pull out your list?

1:25:40Joanna Robinson:Season two of American Horror.

1:25:41Bill Simmons:If Sean was here, he'd be like, tell us more, CR. Sean would be like, actually, you're forgetting Michelangelo. Michelangelo. They do feel like there's two scenes where it is like a, how did they do this? with the breastfeeding. What do you mean? Because it's a real baby. We didn't have the CGI back then. And it seems like it's an actual breastfeeding situation. But there's no way like Rebecca De Mornay was breastfeeding a baby.

1:26:09Joanna Robinson:Just put a baby on her nipple.

1:26:10Bill Simmons:But probably something over her. I think it was a doll. And the baby next to her. No, but the baby was moving. But don't they have like dolls to like show women how to do it in the first place? Like to be like this is like…

1:26:20Joanna Robinson:But that technology I don't think was that advanced in 92. What about like a merkin? Like a boob merkin?

1:26:25Bill Simmons:That's probably what it was.

1:26:26Joanna Robinson:Yeah.

1:26:27Bill Simmons:Ernie Hudson, no. Evil Navy. Just flat no. One of the all-time conversational topic switches. Evil Navy movies? Yeah. Yes. Greenhouses in a movie has to be yes, right? Yes. What's a better greenhouse? You seriously haven't been in a greenhouse? I seriously have not been in a greenhouse. Would you go to a botanical garden?

1:26:48Joanna Robinson:Yeah, but then usually there's like a spot. Outdoor area. Yeah, there's a spot in the botanical garden that has a greenhouse, and I will not go in it.

1:26:54Bill Simmons:I really want to test this out.

1:26:55Joanna Robinson:I will not go in it.

1:26:56Bill Simmons:Seattle, yes. 92, 93. This is it. For sure. We're in the apex. Yeah. Julianne Morneau. Asthma attacks the movie, maybe.

1:27:04Joanna Robinson:A crisp white Oxford button all the way up.

1:27:10Bill Simmons:Yeah.

1:27:11Joanna Robinson:She just owns that look in this movie.

1:27:15Bill Simmons:Cruise or Hanks?

1:27:18Joanna Robinson:So it should be Hanks, right? It's Hanks. But wouldn't it be fun to have Cruise and DeMornay back together again? Wouldn't it be fun if... What do you mean? like Cruz playing Dr. Rott. Cruz as Matt McCoy. One scene, Cruz as Dr. Mott. Yeah. Taking the glove off. Taking the glove off. I'll take care of it. Why don't you let her know about her test results? That's what Cruz needed in 92. Yeah. 92 Cruz is definitely needing to do this. Not far and away. Prepping for eyes wide shut. Could Cruz have been Solomon? Oh my God, Bill.

1:27:49Bill Simmons:Is there running? I was trying to think of how Cruz could run.

1:27:52Joanna Robinson:What a cursed concept.

1:27:55Bill Simmons:Cruz is as the dad. There's no running though. He turns this movie down. It's got to be Hanks.

1:28:02Joanna Robinson:It is Hanks.

1:28:03Bill Simmons:We got rid of Scorsese or Spielberg after doing it with Spielberg. If Marty comes on the pod,

1:28:07Joanna Robinson:will you bring him back? We'll bring him back. Okay.

1:28:11Bill Simmons:Re-adding, was there a better title for this movie? A category we used to have and I have no idea why we got rid of it. No, this title rules. I think this title is the right title.

1:28:21Joanna Robinson:Yeah.

1:28:21Bill Simmons:Right?

1:28:22Joanna Robinson:It's very memorable. It absolutely rules.

1:28:25Bill Simmons:picking nets I have like 10 I'll just go with my biggest one which is how the fuck do they not know what Mott's wife looks like if an OBGYN did what he did to my family I would be like I'm going to the trial well first you run him

1:28:42Joanna Robinson:over with your car first run him over with your car but if that didn't work out like I would be very engaged with what this guy was about and I think I would know somehow what his wife looked like

1:28:53Bill Simmons:Also, this would be the biggest story in Seattle for like two weeks. Also, the local news showing Claire's face. This is a huge one. I had that, too. Yeah, here's this woman that called out this creep. Here's her face if anybody wants to see it in the hospital while… It's actually a rule that you can't do that. You can't use her name either. But they're like, coming up, Claire Bartell accuses a dead doctor. I'm going to tell you why Claire Bartell might be wrong. It's crazy that they… Here's where she lives. We mentioned no background checks. Also, just these... See, you're with your nanny a lot.

1:29:31Bill Simmons:At no point is Claire doing the... So what happened to your husband? Dude, what... Why does Peyton make it so complicated? Peyton could just be like, yeah, I just got here from Cleveland. Divorced.

1:29:45Joanna Robinson:Well, she wanted to say my husband was murdered by you. You know?

1:29:49Bill Simmons:A couple days after my baby, it's like, what? before or after? Who died first? Why'd the baby die? Husband died first in real life. And then she's like, he was murdered. She miscarried. I want my revenge. Okay. Revenge on what? What are you going to do? I don't know. I just had a lot of questions on that. Peyton beating up the school, Billy. I'm guessing would probably, get reported to the principal and maybe again it was 1992

1:30:27Joanna Robinson:there was no one supervising us on the black shop

1:30:29Bill Simmons:there's like 10 witnesses there's people in different parts of the playground all the kids are like this crazy blonde almost yanked Bloth's arm out of its socket one kid's like fuck yeah a sexual fantasy was born the kid with the hair under his arms is like nice this is my wife's biggest one so one of the times he goes down when our guy Matt McCoy is getting a little horny same morning and Rebecca DeMornay is picking up ice cubes.

1:30:55Joanna Robinson:Right, in her see-through nightie.

1:30:56Bill Simmons:In her see-through nightie. Putting them back in the tray and then putting the tray back in the freezer. Yes, this is a great call. What the fuck is going on? This is a great call. Do you think it's like... Who wants ice cubes that were just on the floor? Does he see that they've been on the floor that she's put them back away? He's watching it, but he's looking at the nightgown. I'd be looking at the fucking ice cubes. You'd be like, don't put those back in there. Hey, what are you doing? People walk on that floor, Peyton.

1:31:20Joanna Robinson:Do you think the entire ice gambit

1:31:23Bill Simmons:was executed to lure him down there.

1:31:26Joanna Robinson:Yes. How can she know that he would come down and not Annabella Sierra? I guess she's like, well, if Claire comes down, I'll just be like, my bad, drop something. In this ether night camp that I always wear.

1:31:36Bill Simmons:I'm right here to consult in these movies. This is where he drinks decaf at night because it keeps him up. Doesn't want to get kept up and she switches the coffee so he'll stay up at night and come down and that's when she gets him. Another nitpick that we've kind of alluded to is the last shot of this movie is like Claire and Solomon being like, we did it. Good job. Where the fuck is Michael? He's like in agony like Joe Theismann.

1:32:02Joanna Robinson:Crying in the basement. Maybe trying to like crawl up the stairs in the basement. What about this wind chime clue? Oh my God.

1:32:12Bill Simmons:Well, then she goes over the top with the painting the baby room the same way.

1:32:17Joanna Robinson:Well, the turtles is one thing. Yeah. And again. But Julianne Moore spots the wind. William Moore, via magnifying glass, spots a solitary wind chime and is like, I've seen that. It's your bog standard wind chime. That's what all wind chimes look like.

1:32:31Bill Simmons:She's good at her job.

1:32:32Joanna Robinson:Absolutely not. I don't know if it's because I grew up in the Bay Area where there's just a lot of wind chimes going on, but I wouldn't be like, well, that wind chime, clearly someone else is. Has to be the same wind chime, yeah. I do love that she's like, what the fuck is that ugly thing? When she walks in.

1:32:43Bill Simmons:Well, how about Peyton leaves the breast pumps behind in the old house? just gonna leave some stuff back here including all my breast pumps isn't that how staged and being trying you know it's being shown cleared out the breast pumps people sold the house it's a cool nursery check out how you could use it check out these funky breast pumps for all the guys in the room

1:33:07Joanna Robinson:when that guy's like what kind of weird toy is that is that not the dumbest shit you've ever heard

1:33:16Bill Simmons:we mentioned this earlier but the dad broke his legs falling seven feet.

1:33:21Joanna Robinson:Not even. It was like five feet.

1:33:22Bill Simmons:Both of them? Both legs? Like just shut. And he gets hit in the face with a shovel but his face is fine, right? It's a little fucked up. It's a little damaged? Yeah, it's a little fucked up. Claire, my legs are broken. Both of them. Both legs.

1:33:37Joanna Robinson:You gotta take the rest of this movie. I've been useless this whole movie and I'll remain useless till the very end. They made one extra scene

1:33:43Bill Simmons:where they're just pushing him around in the wheelchair and he's got these two giant gals. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Claire has asthma from the wheelchair. I'll be in Peyton's bed, Claire. I'll be waiting. This is the opportunity. It's like Marty is pushing him in the wheelchair. He's like, you know what? You and me, we could move in together. We could start it. I got plenty of room now that Marlene's dead. There's a couple moments. A couple moments when it's clear it's a doll and not a baby. Yeah. And then this is my biggest one. Well, they're tied together. We already talked about whether the greenhouse would have killed Marlene or not.

1:34:20Bill Simmons:I say no. Not without, you know. Who's the prime suspect in Claire's death? Or in Marlene's death? Isn't it just an accident? It's an accident.

1:34:29Joanna Robinson:Is it? It's a greenhouse accident. It's poor greenhouse construction by Claire. If anything, she should feel guilty about it. Okay. The police call. Hey, we're just going to check out Claire for a second. GLPD is not acquitting themselves gloriously. That guy just wandered into a crime scene. When that cop opens the greenhouse door and just wanders in, And I'm like, uh-huh. What's your history with Claire?

1:34:49Bill Simmons:Because we heard you had a moment at your surprise party a month ago where you were yelling at your husband. Oh, you think Claire might be blamed? Yeah, Claire should be a fucking suspect for this. Well, wouldn't also, like, if the cops came by, wouldn't they just want to see driver's licenses from everybody? Does Peyton have a Peyton Flanders driver's license? I think Claire is a suspect immediately because we already had the altercation with them two weeks before. So you have that. Marlene didn't have a funeral? just a bunch of people she's just dead you don't think she did off screen and Claire's like I'm gonna go to Marlene's office it's just intact everything's still there

1:35:24Joanna Robinson:it was interesting that her like day planner was just sitting there

1:35:27Bill Simmons:and how long was Claire in the hospital was her asthma attack she's in there for four weeks how long do you go to the hospital it's like she had COVID I don't know a couple days I don't know a couple days she's not back for the funeral and people aren't hit her with some steroids is that awkward with Marlene's family like so what happened your greenhouse collapsed on our daughter?

1:35:44Joanna Robinson:You wanted more time with her husband. You wanted to see him weeping and wailing at the funeral. Anyone in Marlene's wife like, wait,

1:35:50Bill Simmons:the greenhouse collapsed on Marlene and killed her? The Mariners had a homestand. He couldn't make it. Marty's like, okay, Edgar Martinez is on an incredible streak right now. I just had a lot of questions. You wanted Marty Craven

1:36:02Joanna Robinson:to just have his moment at the funeral. Yeah. Maybe he could have quoted some more poetry. Yeah, that would have been good. Also, you know what always works? A funeral scene. Like Marlene, there's two things she loved. Parliament lights and condominiums. And this poem about the hand that rocks the cradle.

1:36:19Bill Simmons:There was no house she couldn't sell. No cigarettes she couldn't smoke. Sequel, prequel, prestige to be all black cast are untouchable. I feel like it's done all of these. They didn't do a prequel. That Hulu one. The Dr. Mott prequel is still in development. The Hulu thing was October 2025 when they had that.

1:36:38Joanna Robinson:It doesn't feel like it exists.

1:36:39Bill Simmons:And now CR and I'll have our Seattle sub-pop built around Marty. Middle-aged men version of Anthrox the Cradle. Is this movie better with Wayne Jenkins, Fergie the Flores, Zane Lowe, Robert Evans, Dr. Charles Nichols, or somebody else? I do just have Marlene Craven want me to spell it, don't call me lady. That was the one I have, but I would love to see Robert Evans getting into Peyton. She knows how to dress. She knows how to rear a child. Her legs go on forever.

1:37:07Joanna Robinson:This is just your hottest take again. by hell. I had. It's my honest take as read by Patton Oswalt doing Robert Evans.

1:37:15Bill Simmons:It's funny because I had Loge as Byron Mayo for this. Yeah. Peyton, Claire. Yeah. Couldn't help but notice your nanny at the Claire surprise party just having Byron Mayo there with no shirt. Or if Byron Mayo walked in with the ice cube situation. Maybe he was at the funeral. Tiny white feet. Maybe he was. Ladies, don't fight. Just one Oscar who gets it. That's got to be De Mornay.

1:37:37Joanna Robinson:De Mornay. Yeah. Yeah.

1:37:39Bill Simmons:We have to throw in here the Catherine Schumel, would you throw your life away for this obvious stay away award? Because Claire's husband thought about it twice in the kitchen there. For me, even for as seduced as I can be by this type, for me, I'm out. Sharks. Probably unanswerable questions. Baby Joey with the double breastfeeding situation. What did his next 10 years look like?

1:38:05Joanna Robinson:Well, here's the question. so like is he like super strong like LeBron after going to Germany no but like he's not he's not drinking from her but he's still like he's not drinking from his mom yeah but he's still I think he's doing both though no he's like that's why she's so stressed because he won't latch but he's gaining weight but he's gaining weight and Michael's just like then what's the problem yeah so we don't take this kid to the hospital yeah all of these children need to go to the doctor if you think your little girl has been molested she needs to go see a therapist and if you think your baby is growing despite not drinking any milk at all the bar tells are just like that's one problem solved let's move on we'll save a fortune on money there's a baby gaining weight it is no problem next one on to Cleveland

1:38:52Bill Simmons:mentioned this earlier but I do feel like they could have snuck in a 92 Sonics game scene maybe the double date maybe the guys are going there after just so we get some Sean Kemp just to mix it up wait what category are we on?

1:39:05Joanna Robinson:unanswerable questions. Why weren't the Sonics in this movie? The Sonics are right there.

1:39:11Bill Simmons:I have one really good one though unless you guys have any other. My biggest unanswerable question was what was Peyton like before her OBGYN husband? So you want the Peyton prequel? Well, I'm just curious what she was like. Did Peyton have any friends? Did they all abandon her? I think she was like a Seattle socialite, right? Right. So wouldn't there be like a little bit more awareness? Somebody would nervous. Yeah.

1:39:35Bill Simmons:Unanswerable question.

1:39:37Joanna Robinson:I don't have one.

1:39:38Bill Simmons:Is this movie better if they look out at the end and Peyton's not there in the front lawn anymore? Oh, Michael Myers? Here's Michael Myers, the ending. Somehow Peyton has survived.

1:39:49Joanna Robinson:Hand in Rocks the Cradle 2?

1:39:51Bill Simmons:It's just like... Still rocking? It's like, we did it, guys. Look out, and she's gone.

1:39:57Joanna Robinson:What's the sequel?

1:39:58Bill Simmons:I just...

1:39:58Joanna Robinson:You just kind of want her at the end. Peyton, damaged but alive on the road. And where does she pop up next? Los Angeles, working for a film producer. Yeah. You know, it's like, we could get into it. Why not? Maybe a film producer. The film producer who made a Lifetime movie of the week about her life. Oh. And now she's going to get revenge on him. Yeah. Why close the door? Great character. Tori Spelling, how dare you? Yeah, exactly. Got it.

1:40:24Bill Simmons:Memorability you'd want or not want from this movie. For me, I would not want the breast pumps from the leftover ones from the house that wouldn't sell.

1:40:33Joanna Robinson:Would you want an inhaler that has never seen a pair of human lips attached to it?

1:40:38Bill Simmons:See where a movie used inhaler? We're not allowed to use the cars, right? We could never use... Can I get an old Volvo wagon?

1:40:45Joanna Robinson:I've always wanted an old Volvo wagon. Those were great cars. Very safe. They ran for like 300 ,000 miles. Also, that beige color.

1:40:51Bill Simmons:Yeah. Perfect. I dated a girl who had one of those cars and the thing had like 200 ,000 miles and was just fucking cranking. Those things were tanks.

1:40:57Joanna Robinson:I always wanted one of those.

1:41:00Bill Simmons:Coach Finstock Mr. Miyagi where best worst life lesson don't hire a hot nanny or don't build a greenhouse don't let a hot woman

1:41:06Joanna Robinson:into a power position in your household I believe

1:41:08Bill Simmons:yeah that was a good one check the references

1:41:09Joanna Robinson:but also don't go into a greenhouse not ever not even once yeah best double feature choice I think single white female but you know I mean just just to be in the spirit of the pod sleeping with the enemy Laura I love that movie

1:41:25Bill Simmons:I have a scorned with Shannon Tweed nice the not familiar with that one

1:41:29Joanna Robinson:I would say not the housemaid which is the double feature that I Scored with Shannon Tweed

1:41:33Bill Simmons:was this movie but the Skinner Max version of it it was considered to be the Shannon Tweed apex for her

1:41:40Joanna Robinson:they showed these movies all the time on like as you know when I was here for just one of the guys and I let you know that I didn't have HBO so I watched all the movies that I watched on like TNT, TBS so I the nipples were not a factor when we rewatched Hand the Rocks the Cradle but they showed this and Sleeping with the Enemy like all the time.

1:42:00Bill Simmons:Safest cable program you could have. And my parents were just like,

1:42:02Joanna Robinson:go ahead and watch it. Yeah.

1:42:04Bill Simmons:Who won the movie? DeMornay. DeMornay. Easy. Craig? She won the movie. I mean, she like, LeBron, 2018, game one, 50, 10, and 10, or whatever he had won the movie. Would you have given the Bam out of Bio 83-point game award for her? Well, no, because I knew where it came from because I saw Risky Business and she kind of changed my life. Yeah. So, but I have to say, the first like 40, 50 minutes of this movie, I wasn't in love with it. I thought it was really kind of slow and drawn out. There's like a weird acting style. I agree with you about, was it Michael? Yeah. Is that the name? I feel like him and Claire have a very weird acting style.

1:42:43I don't know if that was the point of the movie, but they're like almost mannequin-esque. I feel like I'm watching an HR instructional video where it was like, hey, would you like to come over for dinner? That sounds nice. Thank you. All right, pick you up at seven. Seven sounds great. like that was like the first hour of the movie yeah and then but I really felt like your pure hatred for Peyton really just drives you to the end of this movie I think she is one of the most despicable people I've seen in a long time and you are just so you're like I need to see this fucking lady die she has to die she can't just get arrested that's horrible I would argue she still wins like even though she dies like okay Michael broke his legs Claire now kind of thinks that Michael wants to have sex with Peyton, maybe had sex with Marlene.

1:43:28I think Claire can definitively say Michael is not a protector. He is going to get distracted too easily. Like, Marlene's dead. This family does not get out unscathed at all. What is Zewan Neo here? Like, this family's fucked up. The baby was breastfeeding on the wrong mother. Are we moving away from Seattle? If you want to make... If this family's staying together, I think they have to leave. I think they're leaving Seattle.

1:43:52Joanna Robinson:They should go to Boston.

1:43:53Bill Simmons:I think they're out of the greenhouse business. I think Michael probably loses his job because he can't stand up for nine months. Yeah. Because he broke both of his legs.

1:44:02Joanna Robinson:You can do science while sitting.

1:44:03Bill Simmons:Or he's in like the Stephen Hawking wheelchair, maybe.

1:44:06Joanna Robinson:I think most scientists sit most of the time.

1:44:08Bill Simmons:That seemed like a very standing lab. They're going to Denver, restarting. Yeah. And I think that kid has really traumatized the daughter. And maybe little Joey, too. Joey's doing great. The whole family's a mess, even after Peyton's death. Peyton really ran him up. She got her revenge.

1:44:24Joanna Robinson:Yeah. Yeah. I think a problem is often the case when I'm on an episode where it's the early 90s is like so many people have done it since. That it's hard to see. This trope since. That it's like, yeah. I also love like so many 90s movies just have no idea how to end the fucking movie. Like this movie just ends. I thought I was going to see another scene and it's like Solomon come downstairs. They don't even have like credits. Yeah. Now we've brought it. We're on the front of the house. We're on the house. Now we've been brought out of the basement. Everybody's happy. I love a shot of the family together.

1:44:54It's just like, Solomon, come on downstairs. You wanted a group hug with broken legs, Michael? Michael's legs are broken in the basement.

1:45:01Joanna Robinson:Solomon's just like dancing out of the room with the baby. It's very odd. It's very confusing. I love the early 90s. Also, Claire's taking the baby back. She's not like, no, no, no. It's cool. Yeah. You can hold her. You don't really see credits roll over. Usually it cuts to black now. You don't see the credits roll over footage anymore.

1:45:17Bill Simmons:Well, now you don't see credits anymore because this movie just went right to five seconds five seconds for the next thing we're throwing at you so I couldn't even I had to like rewind you were like stop because I couldn't remember what Dr. Mott's name was but God forbid you just got to enjoy credits for 10 seconds I was legitimately fired up when Marlene spots the wind chime yeah and it was like let's fucking go like little Xerox for now she's like cancel my morning and then she's driving her

1:45:45Joanna Robinson:like it's a femur and she's like fuck off like it's a femur yeah she's like fuck off give me a cigarette she's in a BMW right She's like zooming through traffic. I was like to come back and remember the Titans. I'm like, let's fucking go.

1:45:55Bill Simmons:CR, would you have watched a Marlene separate movie of Marlene real estate in Seattle? Yes. Just her smoking in people's houses. Just Gordon Gekko, but Marlene. Yeah. Selling Seattle with Marlene.

1:46:07Joanna Robinson:I think she fucks. I think she fucks whoever she wants in Seattle.

1:46:11Bill Simmons:That's why when she shows up in Boogie Nights, we had some history with her. It's like, I'm ready for this lady to have her moment. And then it finally happened. Boogie Nights, I think, was when it happened. All right, guys. From Hell. Joanna Robinson, thank you. Chris Ryan, thank you. Thanks, Craig. Thanks, Chris. Thanks, Eduardo. We're going to be back next week with another From Hell movie. I think we're doing The Good Son next week. I think we are. That's a good one. Can't wait for Craig's reaction to that one. That's next week. Thank you.

1:46:41Joanna Robinson:Thank you.

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