‘The Karate Kid Part II’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt

11:14Bill Simmons:And now it's like Miyagi or bust. His mom's out. His mom's moving to Fresno. We don't know what's going on there. And he's just going to live with her. But I just think, listen, our relationship with Macho and the character Daniel sound complicated. We go into the Cobra Kai when they do the TV show version. Yeah. And they fully embrace something that we've been talking about for 35 years up to Cobra Kai, which is like, was Daniel actually the villain of this entire trilogy? And you really feel it in KK too. It's like, first of all, stay away from Okinawa. Stay away from all these Japanese guys and Sato, all this stuff.

11:49Bill Simmons:Like nobody wants you. You're the American guy. Now you're trying to date one of their ladies. Like what the fuck are you doing? But it took us decades to realize that he was actually the villain.

11:59Kyle Brandt:It's just, he has no business there. You know, it's like me at like 18 going with the handyman in my building to like Saigon. like to Vietnam. I'm just like, yeah, I think I just fit in. I'm like, this is white boy walking around. I learned karate. I take your women. Like, you think that's going to go well in the village? No, it's not for you, Daniel. Stay home. You're from the Valley.

12:20Bill Simmons:I was thinking my son just graduated from high school and, you know, and asked like, hey, where's your friend going? Where's this guy going? Where's he going to college? What's this kid doing this summer? If he said like, wait, hey, what's your friend, what's your friend Jim doing this summer? Oh, so it's a long story, but there's this maintenance man in his apartment building who went back to Okinawa and he just went back with him for the summer. I would be like, what? I have nine more questions.

12:51Kyle Brandt:Yeah, and before they go to Okinawa, the maintenance man was actually physically building him his own bedroom at his house. Really? Like, isn't he on a list or something? Come on.

13:01Bill Simmons:Yeah, that's another great thing about this movie is Miyagi is still getting work done in his house from his relationship with Daniel-san. That should have been the reason Ellie broke up with him. It should have been the UCLA football quarterback. It should have been like, Mr. Miyagi, she just kept wondering what was going on with us. It would be a Friday night. I just wanted to come over here and work on your flowers.

13:21Kyle Brandt:And every time we go out, you wear that stupid headband around. Like, why do you, do you have to take that off? Enough with that. Yeah, I think Mr. Miyagi was three as a crowd.

13:29Bill Simmons:Yeah, no question. Well, so just to go through the relationship really quick, some beats.

13:35Kyle Brandt:Yeah.

13:36Bill Simmons:Prom ends, goes right to Miyagi's right afterwards. Not trying to get laid. Doesn't end up on a beach until five in the morning.

13:44Kyle Brandt:Not hungover.

13:44Bill Simmons:Nope. Not hungover at all. Just right to Miyagi's. Goes to the passport office with him. Because Miyagi's got you a new passport. I have this. Daniel sounds like, can I come?

13:55Kyle Brandt:This is it. That's how obsessed he is with Miyagi. An 18-year-old kid will go to the most boring place on the face of the earth and wait in line ever. I'd rather go to the DMV. That's incredible.

14:05Bill Simmons:We've been fighting with my son all summer because he lost his driver's license and needs to get another one. And he doesn't want to go to DMV. Daniel sounds like passport. Are you going to the Glendale one or Pasadena? I'm in. What time? 10? Let's hang out in line. He decides to spend a summer after graduation and uses his college fund and delays going to college for six months so he can go to Japan with his sensei. We got that. We have the Mr. Miyagi, you're more important than college, more important than anything to me. And then the big one, which is just glossed over in the movie, they end up flying to Japan together.

14:43Bill Simmons:I don't know if you noticed the seating arrangements in the row.

14:46Kyle Brandt:I think I did. What do you got?

14:48Bill Simmons:Daniel-san's in the window seat. Miyagi's middle. Nobody in the aisle seat. At no point are they like, hey, cool, nobody's in the aisle. I thought Miyagi was the aisle.

15:00Kyle Brandt:There's someone. There's another seat. What the fuck?

15:03Bill Simmons:Miyagi's just in the middle. It's like, move over, dude. There's nobody in the aisle seat. These guys are just like, it's like me and my wife traveling. It's just fucking weird. But this was the 80s. Like, we didn't understand any of this stuff.

15:17Kyle Brandt:That's like if you go in a bathroom and there's five urinals and Danielson took one and then Miyagi takes the one right next to him. Not even the first three. Yeah, the kids one, the little one. Jesus.

15:28Bill Simmons:Well, Miyagi, I wrote down some Miyagi. He has some incredible Miyagi-isms in this movie. I don't know why fortune cookies didn't do a deal with him. I'm going to, I'll read you nine. You tell me what your favorite one is. A person with no forgiveness in heart live in even worse punishment than death. Okay. So he's basically saying you're better to be dead than to not be able to forgive somebody. I don't know if I agree with that. I'd rather just not forgive anyone. I'm always going to choose life. I'm half Italian. When you feel life out of focus, always return to basic of life, breathing. Pretty weak.

16:04Bill Simmons:Never put passion before principle, even if win, you lose.

16:09Kyle Brandt:It's all right. I don't know. Can we investigate that one?

16:12Bill Simmons:Never put passion before principle? What does that even mean?

16:16Kyle Brandt:It means like, don't have your determination to win, allow you to cheat or betray your values or some stuff like that. You'd love that. You're a Patriots fan.

16:23Bill Simmons:So like Argentina in the World Cup.

16:26Kyle Brandt:Yeah, maybe something like that. Pulling from the headlines. In Okinawa, honor have no time limit.

16:38Kyle Brandt:Sure. I got a little bit of that. 45 years, Sato is still this pissed. Get over it, old man. Or you know what? Fly to California and fight the guy. The timeline in this movie is absurd. Just go in your private jet and find Miyagi and kick his ass and then get your honor back. You don't have to wait for him. 45 years?

16:55Bill Simmons:Sometime what heart no head forget. Again, I'm not sure what that means. Never stop war by joining one. I thought this was actually his best advice so far.

17:06Kyle Brandt:That's Sun Tzu. I like it. Yeah. It's good.

17:08Bill Simmons:Not matter who's strong, matter who's stronger. That's just not intelligible. Lie become truth only if person believe it. I think Trump said this once. And then never keep lady waiting. is actually the best advice in the movie.

17:26Kyle Brandt:Yeah, even though he keeps his own lady waiting for 45 years. He's a fucking liar. What is he talking about? Send her a note.

17:33Bill Simmons:Anyway, those are all the Miyagi-isms. As always, Morita is such a good actor. The delivery makes it sound more profound than it actually is when you break it down.

17:42Kyle Brandt:I think there's a whole generation of people that don't understand that Pat Morita doesn't talk like that. If you see interviews with him, if you don't know him from Happy Days or as being a stand-up comic, Like he just, he talks like without any of that effect or accent at all. That's what makes it impressive.

17:56Bill Simmons:It's amazing. Yeah. Cause I knew him as happy days guy. So when he was in karate kid one, it seemed inconceivable that, um, Arnold from happy days was going to be the sensei in some karate kid sports movie.

18:10Kyle Brandt:Is there a comp? It would be like, like Urkel playing like some serious role, like, like as a karate master or something. Cause I don't really know how it is that well.

18:18Bill Simmons:I would say we'd have to go modern comp. So it'd have to be one of the weird ones, like Finn Wolfhard and Stranger Things. Suddenly becoming... Dustin. Yeah, becoming a Kung Fu person. One of the things about this movie, Kyle. Yeah. So basically, other than the opening scene, Daniel-san's like the only white person in this movie. And it's all Asian actors, and they're all really good. So we have Nobu McCarthy as Suki. So she was in the Pacific Kites rewatchables that we did. So this is our, we're back with her. Yeah, we're back with her.

18:57Kyle Brandt:Great.

18:58Bill Simmons:Tamlin Tamida as Kimiko, who was a smoke show in the mid 80s. That was great to see her come back. Comes back to Cobra Kai.

19:06Kyle Brandt:And when she comes back to Cobra Kai, she looks beautiful. Looks great. What a wonderful looking woman and a good actress. Her first movie in this. Like, I love Kimiko.

19:14Bill Simmons:um danny kamikono kamikona asato is that chosen oh that's sato okay we'll get to him in a second and then yuji akamoto is chosen who i i always thought as like japanese zapco basically he's basically doing this that he's doing the billy lawrence the day what was johnny lawrence playbook um he's unbelievable in this like he's just the scary most awesome evil nephew possible he's good to karate takes a shirt off at one point he's fucking ripped dude i had i'm like is is chosen

19:47Kyle Brandt:eligible for the richard kimball sneaky physique award i don't think so because he's young okay no i had it i was like he's he's kimball's like an old doctor like chosen's like a young karate guy so he's supposed to look ripped but i like dude i almost did a spit take when he he takes his shirt off he's got like these massive pecs he has this v like frame with this tiny waist he looks like bruce lee like but more jacked he looked awesome i think he gets the richard kimball Yeah, I'll give it to him.

20:12Bill Simmons:But Sato, who I went through his IMDb and I just, just, I think this was the peak. He does something that you rarely see people pull off of movies correctly, where he's just like unredeemable villain. Yep. Really dark where you're like, yo, this is like uncomfortable how evil you're being. And then the switch flips and he's like a good guy. All of a sudden you want to have the dance at the castle? Sure. here's the deed back to the village and he's just like the nicest guy ever in the last 20 minutes of the movie and I always enjoy when that happens

20:49Kyle Brandt:he goes in 10 seconds from I will literally bulldoze your church with the children in it to yeah you want to do it at the castle let's rock and roll baby and he's got this silly smile on his face it's a quick turn a really quick one but it's because he's so dark to start

21:04Bill Simmons:yeah he's really good though I think he's incredibly menacing his voice which we've already done 10 times

21:10Kyle Brandt:yeah miyagi you coward i got a couple categories devoted to sato i'm big sato guy he is just uh he's i like when he shows up dressed up i like when he shows up at the end he's got the i'm here

21:25Bill Simmons:to help rebuild the village outfit um i like when he does the drum the drum thingy with miyagi at

21:30Kyle Brandt:the end he's like he's all in he's just a good guy i could use more i wish sato to your point i wish he was like the emcee of the Kumite in Bloodsport. Like if he was like the crooked boss in charge of it. Because his physicality and like you're nailing it. Like the casting of this movie is really good. The three big parts of Chosen and Sato and Kimiko I think are three for three. They did a great job.

21:52Bill Simmons:Listen, we could do this later in unanswerable questions. Yeah. But I really want to do this now. What do you got? Was Sato in the right? Okay. So he's Miyagi's best friend. This is 1940s, right? We're like either right before World War II or after. I don't know when, but I don't know how long ago it was. But I think it was like 45 years. So they do this in 1986. It's like before World War II?

22:19Kyle Brandt:I think it's 1941. Yeah, it's like 1940. When the bomb was dropped. Yeah, it's like before then. Yeah.

22:27Bill Simmons:So they're best friends. They have traditions in this, in Okinawa, where it's like, well, you're arranged to marry Suki. But Miyagi's in love with Suki. And she decides she loves Miyagi, which I would argue in 1940 is a massive disgrace for Sato. I can kind of see why he's been pissed off about this for half a century. This is his best friend. It was an arranged marriage. Why are you even spending one minute with this girl? My family's arranged this already, dickhead.

23:02Kyle Brandt:Completely with you. there's a lot of fish in the sea, Miyagi. You're literally a fisherman, all right? And then not only that, Sato's like, listen, asshole, let's fight now. You took my honor, let's fight. And Miyagi is such a bitch and won't fight him for years and years. He just leaves. And then he shows up and he leaves for 45 years and he comes back in two seconds. And Sato's like, all right, let's fight. Like, we are fucking fighting. Say what you want about arranged marriages. Like, that's our custom here, dude. And you backstabbed me and you took the girl. So let's fucking fight to the death.

23:32Kyle Brandt:and Miyagi's like, no, no, no. It's like, fuck you, bitch. Like, you never fight. I hate it. And even Sato even is about to punch him in a shirt and tie. Like, he comes up to the village and he rounds up on him. Like, I'm gonna do this right now. And then he gets saved by the woman. Miyagi, I really wish we had, picking nits or like, what's wrong with this movie? I wanted some Miyagi Sato. Even if it gets broken up, like, I want to see some blows exchanged between these two and they didn't give us to us.

23:56Bill Simmons:Yeah, it's a great point. I mean, so Miyagi's selling us on the one hand of like, Okinawa, Japan. It's all about tradition. It's all about honor. Yeah. Except for the time when my best friend was arranged to be married to this lady who I tried to steal from him. And then when he got mad, I fucking fled to the United States. Yeah. It doesn't sound very honorable there, Miyagi.

24:19Kyle Brandt:Yeah, and not to mention when he gets there, he's like, you know, advancing on a child. Like, there's no honor at all. Like, he ditches his best friend. He's shacking up with a boy. It's across the board. I don't know where he's preaching that. I love Miyagi in this movie, but I found him getting really tiresome how much she was fleeing from Sato, who's just like, this is how we do things in the village, man. Right. Show up or don't.

24:41Bill Simmons:Yeah. You tried to steal the girl. And then the poor Suki just never got married?

24:46Kyle Brandt:No. Disastrous life. Her whole life is ruined.

24:49Bill Simmons:And her and Sato are in the same place. And Sato, meanwhile, owns everything in the village. And she can't. And she's just, that's it. Yeah.

24:57Kyle Brandt:And let's not forget, after this movie, they leave again. They're out of there. They're going back to California. Karate Kid 3 is not in Okinawa. They didn't settle down. They're back in the valley.

25:06Bill Simmons:Ridiculous. $12 million budget made$130 million. Fuck yes. It was the fourth highest 1986 release. It earned more than the Karate Kid. Let me give you the top nine really quick here.

25:19Kyle Brandt:Let's go. 1986.

25:21Bill Simmons:Top Gun 1. Crocodile Dundee 2. Massive. Crocodile Dundee 1, right? Which one?

25:29Kyle Brandt:Crocodile Dundee 1 was number two. Crocodile Dundee. Yeah, one. Right, right, right.

25:33Bill Simmons:Platoon, Karate Kid 2, Star Trek 4. Those were only five movies that made over$100 million. And then we had Back to School, Aliens, The Golden Child, Ruthless People, and Ferris Bueller's Day Off, rounding off our top 10. Life was good in 1986.

25:50Kyle Brandt:I tell you, Bill, there's a couple of juicy episodes just dangling in there that haven't been done on this year's podcast. Yeah, Aliens is one.

25:57Bill Simmons:Back to School, you're on the list for that one. haven't done Platoon yet Roger Ebert mild thumbs up on the TV show didn't do a written review ah I'm critic it too he's like I'm out I'm not writing about this I'm not using my fingers he did on the TV show praise the deeper exploration of Mr. Miyagi and appreciated the Okinawa setting it's good

26:21Kyle Brandt:it's really good

26:22Bill Simmons:I feel like he could have cranked out 500 words

26:25Kyle Brandt:maybe Siskel covered it I'm not sure but yeah this is an appointment movie But listen, look at the movies you just rattled off. And by the way, 1986, and he even mentioned Cobra. Like there was just bangers all year long in 86.

26:37Bill Simmons:Hoosiers came out, yeah. And we've done, I think we've done at least 20 1986 movies at this point. All right, we're gonna take a break and then we gotta go through rewatchable scenes. This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Imagine you're running a professional sports team. Nice, that'd be a dream of mine. Imagine the player contract report is due today. Not so nice. You've got performance notes from the coaching staff. You got a salary spreadsheet from your analyst, three rounds of back and forth emails with the agent, and all of it is scattered absolutely everywhere. Well, that's where chat GPT work comes in.

27:13Bill Simmons:It's a new way to use chat GPT for bigger multi-step projects. Give chat GPT work access to your apps and files and can create real work documents. For instance, spreadsheets, slides, structured reports. You can bring all those to your next meeting. And when you don't need answers, you need help just getting the work across the finish line. Guess what? Chat GPT work can move your projects forward while you stay in control. Put Chat GPT to work. On your most ambitious ideas and projects, get started. Just go to chatgpt.com by selecting work mode available on plus and pro plans. All right, most rewatchable scene.

27:56Bill Simmons:We talked about the opening scene with the original ending of Karate Kid 1 in the script. And since then, there's been a thought that this was actually filmed for Karate Kid 1. They decided that should be the ending. Apparently, that's an urban legend. And they actually filmed the beginning of Karate Kid 2 in real time. But they used what had been in the script and they filmed it. I always thought they filmed it right after they finished Karate Kid 1 and decided not to use it, but that's not true. So they brought everybody back. I have one huge point on this, but just to go through the beats really quick.

28:35Bill Simmons:Kreese is on a heater. It's almost like he found a brewery at the All Karate or grabbed some beers. Seems drunk somehow. Yep. And he's just, he's doing the, you're nothing. You lost. You're a loser. and he's doing he's like really over the top uh starts strangling johnny lawrence does the how does second place feel now the cobra kai kids seem terrified people are watching in the parking lot and then miyagi saves the day and he punches two windows and does the honk uh how'd you feel about somebody passing out from punching two car seat windows i i have a take on that and i as an as a

29:15Kyle Brandt:kid i thought it was really funny and now as an adult i'm like cop out bullshit they should fight Like, what are we doing? Kreese should speed up some kids. Like, Miyagi should come over and knock him out or something like that. Again, we don't get Miyagi Sato. We don't get Miyagi Kreese until KK3. I also, like, when I'm watching this, maybe it's because, like, I'm a modern parent now, as are you. And, like, I see this through the lens of the viral video of wild video of karate instructor beating his own students. It's, like, on Huffington Post. And, like, he's disowned and he loses his job and all that.

29:47Kyle Brandt:Like, you would see that everywhere. I may see it this weekend, a travel ball. It just, it hit me hard.

29:51Bill Simmons:Yeah, that is true. I have something I noticed. So it says at the end, they're all credited. The Cobra Kai guys.

30:00Kyle Brandt:They call them the Cobras in the credits.

30:01Bill Simmons:William Zabka and then the other four, including Chad McQueen as Dutch. So I watched this carefully. I noticed this the second time.

30:09Kyle Brandt:Where is this going? I already like it.

30:12Bill Simmons:Dutch isn't in the scene. It's somebody who looks like Dutch, but it's not Dutch. He pulls a hat way down. He's on the other side of the car. He has no lines. You see in the beginning and then he just turns. I'm telling you, we could do a social video about this. I think I'm breaking news here. So Chad McQueen is credited, but I don't think he's actually there. They have the guy turn around. He turns it when it gets closer. He turns away from the camera so you can't see him. I don't think it was Dutch.

30:40Kyle Brandt:Wait, is this? Get him a body bag. Yeah.

30:43Bill Simmons:Dutch is the guy. With the blonde hair. He's the guy that Daniel-san never actually would have beaten in the All-Valley. They don't even show a lot of the... They only show the last point.

30:52Kyle Brandt:He's strong. Yeah. Yeah, I know that guy.

30:55Bill Simmons:And Dutch is like... He's the one that taunts him in the locker room.

30:58Kyle Brandt:Yes. Like, where's your mommy?

31:00Bill Simmons:He does that whole thing. And he just... Daniel-san never would have beaten him. I don't think Dutch wanted to come back for KK2.

31:07Kyle Brandt:You think they couldn't reach an arrangement with Dutch?

31:09Bill Simmons:I think they put a wig on somebody else and pretended it was Chad McQueen and called it a day. That's my working theory. Yeah. Yeah.

31:15Kyle Brandt:All right, now I got to rewatch it because I got to see if it's him. Like, is the actor's name is... The guy literally does this.

31:22Bill Simmons:He turns. Kreese is beating the hell to Johnny Lawrence and he turns like he's like security trying to keep the crowd away or something. Very strange.

31:31Kyle Brandt:Because Lamar Littrell from Revenge of the Nerds is a Cobra Kai. He's not in that scene either. He's off with the tri-lamps.

31:37Bill Simmons:And neither is Andrew Shue. Okay. Right. Next scene is Daniel barges the flight and begs to go to Japan, which we talked about. We also find out that Miyagi and Sato would have fought to the death if Miyagi had stayed in Okinawa. So that's another scene. Miyagi and Daniel get kidnapped by Chosen. Miyagi, who's supposed to be Wisdom Guy, shows up at the airplane. Somebody's like, we're here, you're right. And it's like, huh, I wonder if this is the guy who's been trying to kill me for 45 years. Eh, let's just get in the car. The father death scene where... Daniel-san consoles Miyagi.

32:19Kyle Brandt:Leading to that. Look at that.

32:21Bill Simmons:The most emotional scene ever with Daniel-san and Miyagi. And Marita tears up.

32:26Kyle Brandt:It's beautiful.

32:27Bill Simmons:How did you feel about the father's death scene, though, where he put Sato and Miyagi's hand together,

32:31Kyle Brandt:and then he's like, oh, I'm dead. Christopher Nolan's getting a lot of love this week, but there's a very bad death, and the Dark Knight rises. It's known as the worst death ever.

32:42Bill Simmons:Yeah.

32:42Kyle Brandt:This one is kind of up there with that. It's like, you got to give us a little more than just tilting your head back. And also he looks like five years older than Marita. I'm very distracting. He looked like his brother.

32:51Bill Simmons:Yeah. Daniel's date is another one where he's just kind of, he can't even go on a date without hoping that Mr. Miyagi is going to show up. And everything leads to the icebreak. Sato shows up out of nowhere. Everybody's just showing up at this random bar in Okinawa, but leading to Daniel-san.

33:11Kyle Brandt:and then breaking the ice.

33:14Bill Simmons:I personally don't believe it. I don't think he could have done it.

33:16Kyle Brandt:My favorite scene as a kid. This movie inspired more broken hands than any movie in history between the ice and between Sato's wood plank.

33:25Bill Simmons:Sato banging the log, yeah.

33:26Kyle Brandt:Yes, over. But there was a part in the video game where if you got to the bonus round, you could cut the ice. And I always think it's a huge coincidence that the place where you're training in karate happens to have an ice breaking thing that they just bring out. And Daniel-san, The numbers, this would be perfect for you. It's 600 bucks at three to one odds, right? So like Miyagi makes 1 ,800 bucks off of Sato Inc. It's huge.

33:49Bill Simmons:He got basically that Daniel's College fun back.

33:52Kyle Brandt:Yeah, yeah. But I always wanted to try it. I always wanted to do it as a kid. I was enchanted by that short little scene. Love it.

33:59Bill Simmons:Of course, Daniel's College was going to be receded community college because it's going to be within seven minutes of Miyagi. The ice in the bar had some questions. They just have these blocks just ready to go. Go get some more giant ice blocks. Those things are expensive. This must be what they're all about.

34:17Kyle Brandt:I guess. You know how they have those things now in arcades where you can punch the speed bag and see how strong your punch is? This was like an 80s Japanese version of that, and they got a line outside the door to do the ice blocks.

34:31Bill Simmons:Daniel at the dance ends up with the fight, shows and shows up. Yet another terrible Daniel performance. and then Miyagi has to go John Wick on everybody, which is kind of a staple of these Karate Kid trilogies where Miyagi has to just clean house. He really only has two moves.

34:50Kyle Brandt:All right, let's get into this. What moves? What do you got?

34:52Bill Simmons:Well, he's good at moving side to side, avoiding punches. For some reason, people see little Miyagi and they're like, I'm going to go flying at him. He's good at moving. He has a good little turn kick. He goes right to the stomach, never goes head. he doesn't have the John Jones flying elbow behind or any moves like that but it's really it's a move out of the way it's a sidekick and it's a punch and that's it very easy to scout I

35:17Kyle Brandt:think I had this written down just to ask you what how do you feel watching Miyagi fighting and as I've gotten older now like first of all Pat Morita like if you get it like no martial arts training no background he was a comedian just showed up and like they teach him the moves watching it now, it reminded me a little bit of Robert De Niro and the Irishman, like stomping that guy out. And it's like, it looks like he's like stepping on a beetle and he's going to blow his back out. Miyagi, not exactly that quick, but it's, it's, I think maybe there's a reason we don't get the crease fight and the saddle fight.

35:50Kyle Brandt:I'm not sure Marita could do that many moves.

35:53Bill Simmons:I think that's fair. It reminded me a little of when you watch Messi in the world cup, he's so low to the ground. It just kind of confounded every defender. because they would think they could knock him off the ball, but he would go low and just be able to keep his balance and footing. That was a little Miyagi-ish. He could go low, and they just couldn't figure out his style at all. Over and over again, the same mistakes made against him.

36:15Kyle Brandt:You got white-hot soccer takes these days, Bill. I watched a lot of World Cup.

36:19Bill Simmons:I know.

36:20Kyle Brandt:I can tell.

36:20Bill Simmons:Probably won't watch soccer again for another four years. The hurricane scene. Yeah. A lot to unpack here. This hurricane comes out of nowhere. for some reason, the village only has one central location that you can be safe of that everyone crams into. Things are just getting demolished. I don't know where Sato was staying with his nephew, but that thing just completely falls apart and a giant log lands on him, leading to Muyagi with the woodshop.

36:52Kyle Brandt:Great moment.

36:53Bill Simmons:10 to 1 odds? He actually pulls that off? What do you think?

36:56Kyle Brandt:1 ,000 to 1. That thing is like not even Ikea particle board. that is a full styrofoam. He does like a six inch chop. This is not Jean-Claude Van Damme. This is Pat Morita in the 80s. And the thing just explodes. But it's a great movie moment, dude.

37:11Bill Simmons:And Sada's lying on the song going,

37:13Kyle Brandt:no, you fight, coward! Sada's just talking shit under the plank. Oh, look who now here! And it's like, bam, bam. It was awesome.

37:23Bill Simmons:Miyagi saves him. And immediately the switch flips. I got you, old friend. And now they're buddies. somehow there's a little girl 15 feet up on a telephone pole I didn't really understand this either how'd she get up there what happened, where'd she come from why wasn't she with everybody else

37:41Kyle Brandt:alright everybody in the village is gonna have jobs you, to ring the bell when the typhoon shows up, let's put the 7 year old girl 30 feet up, that's your job typhoon alert girl, she's got it idiotic choice

37:52Bill Simmons:and then Daniel-san has to go up and get her chosen won't help, disgraces himself goes back in the crowd Because he's just, he's done with Daniel-san. Daniel-san goes up there, pulls a pretty incredible buckle trick, belt buckle, takes off the belt. He's got this swing electric that's going to electrocute him. Somehow it gets that thing down. I would say it's his best moment until they get to the ground and then he can't carry an eight-year-old girl 10 feet. I mean, he's one of the weird body actors we've ever had anyway. He's like all hips and legs and has no torso and it's just kind of barely has a spine.

38:29Kyle Brandt:And by the way, at the time, Daniel-san is trying to also deal with a full tilt erection that he has from being with Kimiko. It's one of the only times in the movie, dude, that I sympathize with Daniel-san. He's got to sit there and drink this tea and then she takes out the sticks and her hair comes down. This is a teenage kid here. He goes and kisses. This kid's balls would be exploding like the fucking Death Star. And then it's like, oh, look, a typhoon. And I'm like, oh, I feel for this kid. He's been waiting for months for this.

39:01Bill Simmons:They should have hid under his wood. They could have put like three people under there.

39:07Kyle Brandt:We know Miyagi would chop that.

39:10Bill Simmons:So Sato's a good guy. They save the girl. They come back. And Sato looks at the nephew and goes, now to you, I am dead. And the nephew is just really bummed out and just runs out into the typhoon, presumably never to be seen again. But you know he's going to be seen again.

39:30Kyle Brandt:Question about that. Is that a Sylvester Stallone, why didn't somebody stop this? Doesn't Sato misspeak? Isn't he supposed to say now to me, you are dead? Isn't he saying you're dead to me? Not I'm dead. I think that gives it backwards.

39:43Bill Simmons:Well, the nephew, for some reason, thinks Sato's dead under the log. and then when he comes back in he goes Uncle I thought you were dead so Sato puts that in his back pocket throws it back at him

39:58Kyle Brandt:but then in the final fight Chosen says I'm dead to you remember they fuck up the yeah you're right they do kind of jumble it

40:06Bill Simmons:quick scene but when Sato apologizes to Miyagi no need to apologize and Daniel does the can we have the bone dance. Can we do this in the castle? And Sato looks at Miyagi and goes, your student become my teacher. Poignant moment. Sato's really come all the way around leading to the final dance fight scene. Really great idea. Gotta say, best idea in the movie. Take the bridge. Gotta knock it out. Daniel-san, this not tournament, just for real. Oh yeah, let's fucking go. Daniel-san gets his ass kicked. The little drumstick thingies bring them back. And then how do you feel about close camera angle to the two-hand punch?

40:53Kyle Brandt:I don't feel great. It seems to me that the drum technique is entirely contingent on your enemy has to throw the same exact punches 20 times in a row without moving. It's kind of like the crane kick is contingent upon your enemy running at you with his chin out. And it's like we talk about with Seagal. If you surround him and one by one each guy sprints directly at him, he's unbeatable. But if you do anything else, you could kick his ass. The drum technique and the camera angle is not satisfying at all. I don't even know what the fuck is going on.

41:22Bill Simmons:So it seems like he's doing two-hand swing punches

41:26Kyle Brandt:like this? Yes, yes.

41:28Bill Simmons:Which has never been done before since in a movie by literally anyone.

41:32Kyle Brandt:He's trying to do what he learns up on the swinging, you know, spike thing up on the dock where you dodge and punch and Sato just keeps, or Chosen just keeps throwing and he just keeps hitting him with it. It went from being like your cool movie fight to like a ridiculous like Taibo routine. It was strange.

41:50Bill Simmons:I have a theory. I don't know if it's true. Let's hear it. I think Machio might have gotten hurt during the fight.

41:58Kyle Brandt:Okay. And that's why they had to like compromise the ending.

42:00Bill Simmons:This goes from like, this is an awesome fight scene to now we have to go super close to Machio doing this weird two-hand thing. And we don't get to see any athleticism at all. And I think he got hurt because he was clung to Rob Macho. And in the final shot, it's tight too.

42:15Kyle Brandt:Right. Like when the liver diamond, it's very, that's like maybe he like tweaked his knee or something.

42:20Bill Simmons:Yeah, hurt his ankle or something. Liver diamond. That's great. So what do you have for most rewatchable scene?

42:27Kyle Brandt:I'm at the final fight. Like it's, that setting is so good. It actually looks like Street Fighter or Mortal Kombat. It's two fighters with like audience and risers in the background. It looks so cool. It's final fight scene.

42:39Bill Simmons:I have the typhoon, hurricane, whatever was going on there.

42:42Kyle Brandt:That's good, too.

42:43Bill Simmons:I really enjoy all of it. I like stupid scenes like that, where it's like some sort of mass horrible event, but everybody's going to be fine. And there's bravery and people getting mad at each other. What's the most 1986 thing about this movie for you?

42:58Kyle Brandt:You know, I had trouble identifying like a kitschy piece of technology or something. Like, what did you have for yours?

43:04Bill Simmons:I had the Panasonic TV store that they look in and there's the TVs and they're all Panasonics. I just don't think that's happening in 2026.

43:14Kyle Brandt:And I think they're watching the TV show Fame, which is extremely 80s too. I think Panasonic back then was running the game and Zenith, a lot of Zenith televisions. I think for my most 86 friend thing for me was like, this movie is like the most earnest movie ever made. There's no cynicism. There's no politics. There's no Twitter fight. It's just like love, honor. That's all it is. There's no underhanded message. That's just how we did them back in 86. That's what it is for me.

43:40Bill Simmons:Yeah, there's nothing about a white guy from Reseda going to Japan and uprooting their tradition. And this has never happened. I also had easily buying a last-minute ticket on Northwest Airlines to Japan. It was very 1986. And then you mentioned this earlier, the video game adaptation. The Karate Kid Part II, the computer game, which was a fighting game. You could beat Daniel, and they had bonus levels where you could catch flies with chopsticks and break an ice block. And these were video games that happened in 1986. Or this was in 87 in this case, but it was just like, hey, people like this movie.

44:16Bill Simmons:Yes. What if we take the character and what are the three things he did in the movie? We'll just make them levels. And then you would just call it a day. I'm really excited for mine for this one. The Floyd Gondali, Butter in My Ass and Lollipops in My Mouth Award for something I just enjoy. What did you have? You go first.

44:34Kyle Brandt:I just love how when Sato's like got some extra time after work or it's like a lazy Saturday, he just goes out in the backyard, just get some chops in. Just like, just nothing. He's just going to take the chop at this thing. It's like how someone like makes beer in their garage or like maybe they do their fantasy roster or something, you know, like I like to woodwork. Sato's like, I just go out and get some chops in. It releases my stress. You want to try? It's been here for 45 years. I can't get it. I don't know how his hand is not broken, but I love that that's his hobby just chopping that same wood.

45:04Kyle Brandt:It's fun.

45:04Bill Simmons:Did Sato, like after the fifth take of that, was like, hey, uh... Get the stunt hand in here. I need a break here. I think I broke my metacarpal.

45:18Kyle Brandt:What do you got? You said you were looking forward to it, so I'm not.

45:21Bill Simmons:Yeah, I was really excited to unleash this to you. My flood gandali. The Brad Wesley School of Villains.

45:28Kyle Brandt:Oh, awesome. I'm already in.

45:29Bill Simmons:Daniel and Miyagi get off the plane in Okinawa and they see a sign on the wall and it's advertising Sato's Karate Dojo. But if you look carefully, there's a sign for the Sato Construction Company there's a sign for Sato's Escort Service and then to the left, Sato's Realty

45:48Kyle Brandt:I didn't see the realty

45:50Bill Simmons:So he said, escorts reality, construction and karate is the heart of how he kind of took over of this village, very similar to Brad Wesley, who just owned everything in whatever town that was in Roadhouse.

46:04Kyle Brandt:Goddamn JC Petty is coming here because of me. Right. Exactly right. He is a Brad Wesley, the tycoon who takes over the town and pushes the people around. I didn't know until recently that there was a Sato's escort service and they got advertisements in the airport right next to like, so you want a condo? Great. You want some martial arts training? Great. Want three girls tonight or three boys give me a call yeah miyaki is like daniel son i'm worried about you

46:33Bill Simmons:you wanted to come on this trip too bad i ordered three girls from escort service

46:38Kyle Brandt:sato's escort service is my fantasy team name this year i'm just locking it up i got it guys don't nobody else take it it's great people that would be a really good name perfect you know

46:49Bill Simmons:people always ask us for advice how do we get in here you know how do we get into uh how do i get on TV? How do I get a podcast? How did you start writing? I might just be like, you know what? Go Sato. He did physical activity. He did building stuff with your hands. He did sexual and he did land. Like the four components. If you could form businesses in those four areas, the sky's the limit. You could own a whole village.

47:17Kyle Brandt:So the prostitution's legal? He could just advertise? I guess it's escort. There's always kind of a blurred line between that.

47:24Bill Simmons:Listen, that would have been a great scene. This probably would have pushed it to an R, but Miyagi and Daniel-san go to find Sato at Sato's escort service. I don't know. Probably Miyagi already

47:35Kyle Brandt:has his escort. It's Daniel-san. That's the bad part.

47:38Bill Simmons:What stage is the best? Four words. A Jerry Weintraub production. Hell yes. Just know it's going to be good. Also, four other words. Music by Bill Conti. yes they were good hands it was i gotta say nice to be reunited with the music in this

47:53Kyle Brandt:and it was one of the reasons i think cobra kai did really well it was just fun to hang with the

47:57Bill Simmons:music it's so heavy pan flute especially in the first half an hour like it's it's above machio

48:10Kyle Brandt:and marita on the call sheet the pan flutist yeah everywhere and it hits well it's like the cowbell

48:14Bill Simmons:has been ruined by the Will Ferrell sketch. Pan fluid has been completely ruined by the Karate Kid trilogy. I mentioned Nobu McCarthy, our second rewatchables with her. You mentioned Daniel wearing the Japanese headband here in the movie. And just Daniel's love of headbands in general, which was basically in the 80s, it was him, was the lead singer in Loverboy, and it was Stevie Van Zandt. And those were the three, and I got to say nobody else. Not one other person. Did Pat Benatar wear one? No, that was it Loverboy Miyagi I've been on Daniel-san

48:53Kyle Brandt:Stallone with the head tie like that and Rambo Oh, interesting Stallone might have gotten in there It's a very elite group

49:03Bill Simmons:Springsteen It ended in 1990 I wrote down Miyagi just regularly and unironically talking about himself in the third person Oh, dude

49:13Kyle Brandt:it's great it's i i had his i had this unanswerable question is miyagi the third person goat like is he the one because he does it relentlessly and i even i'm sitting here i banged out here here's my here's my third person rushmore from my guys oh let's hear it i got miyagi i got elmo who's been everywhere recently he's at the world cups super bowl and everything like that i got uh bob dole especially Norm McDonald's version of Bob Doe. Bob Doe likes peanut butter. Bob Doe. And then I have Ricky Henderson in the four spot who's probably the greatest athlete with it. That's my four. But Miyagi's on it.

49:53Kyle Brandt:He's like third person king.

49:54Bill Simmons:That's really good. That's a really good top four. I feel like there should be a rapper in there but I can't think off the top of my head who that is.

50:01Kyle Brandt:Yeah. Because there's been a couple rappers

50:02Bill Simmons:that throw themselves in there. But yeah, I mean, Miyagi, he does it seamlessly. You don't even realize he's doing it. it's like Miyagi not sure and it's like oh you're Miyagi you almost feel like he's talking about somebody else

50:15Kyle Brandt:and it's not like Sato and Chosen are doing it like it's not like in the village they all do it Miyagi is just choosing to do it I'm not sure why

50:23Bill Simmons:Ricky Henderson that's a great one Ricky this

50:27Kyle Brandt:Ricky that Ricky that oh the best

50:29Bill Simmons:my other would stage the best The Glory of Love by Peter Cetera you mentioned at the top not only a number one hit nominated for an Oscar

50:39Kyle Brandt:nominated for an Oscar and lost to another one seed take my breath away Berlin Top Gun I know it's tough I think the better song Lost and I think that here's what's funny I think that this song in so many ways has become the legacy of this movie like perfect example I'm talking to the listener Bill and I were texting a few nights ago with Schrager we're texting about a lot of things that I would not share on mic but Bill mentions out of nowhere hey Kyle and I are doing Karate Kid 2 next week. Schrager immediately three dots. The first thing he texts I am a man who will fight for your honor. Like the first thing from Karate Kid.

51:19Kyle Brandt:I think it's what people think of. Yes.

51:23Bill Simmons:I'll give you some of the lyrics. I am a man who will fight for your honor. I'll be the hero you're dreaming of. We'll live forever knowing together that we did it all for the glory of love. Pretty good way of wooing a lady.

51:41Kyle Brandt:What a panty dropper. Yeah, we'll live forever knowing we did this for the glory of love. Save some for the rest of us. Jesus. I'm going to do a podcast no-no right now. I don't care. Stop this podcast. Press pause. Go type in Glory of Love by Peter Cetera. Listen to the song and come back. But you won't come back. You'll go find your husband and wife and make love to them. Like, you'll just find anybody and make love to them. It's so good. I love this song.

52:10Bill Simmons:You keep me standing tall. You help me through it all. I'm always strong when you're beside me. I've always needed you. I could never make it alone. It's beautiful. Girls are like, my pants are down. You did it. It's over.

52:23Kyle Brandt:How about in the third verse? He's like, like a knight in shining armor. I'm going to take you to my castle. From a long time ago.

52:29Bill Simmons:Just in time, I will save the day and take you to my castle. so far away. So we should mention for the, for the young ones out there. Peter Sotero was the lead singer of Chicago.

52:40Kyle Brandt:Yes.

52:41Bill Simmons:Who soft rock icons in the seventies now have bled into yacht rock. And I'm like firm on these are not yacht rock. Chicago cannot be in yacht rock. You're not allowed. You're over here. You're in the seventies side with seals and Croft and some other ones. Like when bread, you're just on this side. Yacht Rock is over here. But they were really successful. I mean, it was, I think, one of the most successful 70s bands. Oh, yeah. And then he broke off.

53:08Kyle Brandt:You're the meaning of my life. You're the inspiration. Huge hit.

53:11Bill Simmons:25 or 6 to 4, like a whole bunch of them. So he broke off, started his own thing. A little like Phil Collins leaving Genesis.

53:18Kyle Brandt:Yes.

53:19Bill Simmons:Here are the August 2nd comes number one. Here's who he beat out. Fucking yes. Number two, Sledgehammer, Peter Gabriel.

53:27Kyle Brandt:Awesome. I wanna be Sledgehammer

53:31Bill Simmons:That's so good Number three Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins Heat Absolutely Papa Don't Preach by Madonna Okay Invisible Touch by Genesis

53:44Kyle Brandt:She seems to have an invisible touch These are my songs I love it White FM radio is everywhere

53:51Bill Simmons:Higher Love by Steve Winwood with Six and then think about it dropping out at number nine take me home tonight by any money yeah

54:02Kyle Brandt:i was fired up to see him there so anyway awesome god that's so good that's our glory

54:09Bill Simmons:love break i have two more i have a ceremony when you decide to fall in love oh yeah love ceremony so kamiko's like here's what we do i make this tea and i turn the cups back and forth. And if somebody had done this for me who looked like her when I was between the ages of 15 and 18, I would have needed medical attention. There's no question. It would have been just enough to have somebody like me, but to also be like, here's my tea ceremony and then I'm going to take stuff out of my hair. I would have been like...

54:40Kyle Brandt:Do whatever you want. You do a 12 course meal. If I'm going to get some boob or something, I'll do anything. Poor LaRusso, man. A fucking typhoon.

54:48Bill Simmons:Going full Forrest Gump in Jenny's room.

54:51Kyle Brandt:Yes. Yes.

54:53Bill Simmons:And then my last one was Sato With the fastest heel to baby face turn In movie history The reverse of Hulk Hogan turning NWO Yeah Instantaneously a good guy What did you have for What's Age the Best?

55:05Kyle Brandt:We covered almost all of them Except for one of my favorite things We've talked about this in the 80s movies From the time the villain is defeated Till when the credits roll Is minuscule I had it at 35 seconds Before Chosen is knocked out we get credits. The fastest we've ever seen is when we did Sudden Death with Van Damme in the hockey arena, and it all blows up. And I think it's like 12 seconds, and they're like, get out of here. The 4.30 showings come in and get out of your seats. 35 seconds. They just don't do that anymore. They don't. And I'm like, I saw the Odyssey when he gets home and he kills Robert Pattinson.

55:42Kyle Brandt:They don't roll the credits as Pattinson's dying. They do here.

55:45Bill Simmons:Right. that's a great one uh great shot gordo i showed you the picture of daniel consoling miyagi is a

55:52Kyle Brandt:good one what do you have all right so back to satara they're on the date and kamiko and daniel son are running on the rocks and the satara kicks in and it's when he goes take you to my castle and as he hits the word castle they show the castle reveals itself and it's just like somebody editing has just just lighting a fucking cigarette and putting his feet up on the table like yeah I nailed that shit with Satera. Take me to my castle. And it's perfect.

56:20Bill Simmons:Den of Thieves, Benihana, where it's scene-stealing location. Okinawa, which I was ashamed to find out in the research is not Okinawa. It's Hawaii.

56:29Kyle Brandt:Yeah. It's fine. A lot easier. A lot cheaper. A lot cheaper.

56:33Bill Simmons:But I thought that was great. But the winner is the climactic dance location, the castle.

56:38Kyle Brandt:Pretty cool. It's so good.

56:39Bill Simmons:Castle is a great location. Loved it.

56:41Kyle Brandt:Like when they were building that, they're like, people are going to have some sick final battles here in this place. and like it looks great.

56:45Bill Simmons:Chess Rockwell, Brock Lander's Award for best character name. It's got to be Sato, right? You have somebody else?

56:52Kyle Brandt:I would hear chosen like right on the nose. Chosen with a Z?

56:56Bill Simmons:Yeah.

56:57Kyle Brandt:There's a funny online joke right now where Tom Holland's character in the Odyssey, Telemachus, he has a character who's his mentor and the character's name is Mentor and people are like, why would you just name a mentor? And then it's like, no, that's where the word mentor originated from from that character. That's why he's Mentor. So I think like Chosen is right on the nose. He's the chosen one to follow Sato. That's right.

57:20Bill Simmons:Kid Cudi, Pursuit, Happiness, or Best Needle Drop. Obviously, Glory of Love. And was there a better title for this movie? So instead of Karate Kid Part 2, what if I offered you Karate Kid 2 dot dot Okinawa?

57:39Kyle Brandt:I like a subtitle. i i could could i sell you on karate kid 2 okinawa drift like i i think we're right there like the kind of fast and furious yeah i think it's like karate kid 2 okinawa honor or something like that but they just called it two and then they just called it three i think it could use

57:55Bill Simmons:a subtitle yeah all right we'll take one more break and then you got a flex category all right kyle brant flex category time let's go all right so i was trying to make it work with the peter

58:05Kyle Brandt:north award for commitment only so i could bring it up bill have you seen this like there's a peter North documentary coming out.

58:12Bill Simmons:I'm well aware. Early August.

58:14Kyle Brandt:I just figured you and Sean were behind it. It's not your project.

58:17Bill Simmons:No, it's not. I don't know if Sean's covering it on the big picture. I might be covering it on the Bill Simmons podcast.

58:23Kyle Brandt:Dude, I have such a strange... I feel so gross watching it, but I kind of have to watch it. And the fucking tagline is, wait till you get a load of him. And I'm like, yeah! They're having lots of fun with the phrase coming soon. All kinds of stuff. So I couldn't find Peter North, though. This is what I went with instead. I went with the Todd Parker Award for Best Character Entrance. You already mentioned we saw the Sato posters at the airport. They drive him to a warehouse. You know something's bad. It's all this warehouse lighting. The henchmen are there, the hard handshake. And then in the background, in this incredibly lit scene, Sato walks out like fucking Darth Vader onto the tent of four.

59:06Kyle Brandt:He's got Hans Gruber's double-breasted suit. He's got Mavs aviators. It's got this beautiful blow-dried salt and pepper hair. And then Miyagi's like, Sato. And Sato goes, so coward, you'll return. And I was like, fucking Sato. That's how you went through a movie.

59:24Bill Simmons:Yeah, I don't know why Miyagi thought he would be so excited to see him.

59:27Kyle Brandt:He wanted to like hug it out and be like, let's go, bro. And Sato's like, I'll fucking kill you. I hate your guts. He was ready to kill him right there in the warehouse. And like, it just lets you know Sato means business. And it's a great character entrance.

59:39Bill Simmons:Butch's Girlfriend Award for Weeklink of the Film. I have a good one for this, but what do you have?

59:45Kyle Brandt:I need a little more karate in my Karate Kid movie. Just a little more. We are at the 58-minute mark, an hour in before somebody gets kicked. It's just like, I know that we're doing the Okinawa thing and we're doing like a thinking man's movie, but I just need a little more fighting. I've already mentioned Kreese Miyagi, Sato Miyagi. We just need more of that. I like the relationship stuff, but you got to give us a little more sugar early on.

1:00:08Bill Simmons:Yeah, if you're pay-per-viewing a porn, it can't be 58 minutes in the first time somebody gets naked. You're going to sprinkle in a couple. Yeah, do a little karate along the way. I'm surprised you missed this one. Okay. Sometime student become teacher. So Miyagi had a dead wife from Karate Kid 1.

1:00:34Kyle Brandt:Wife died. Okay, what happened here?

1:00:37Bill Simmons:Gets super drunk. Remember in Pride Kid 1? Yes. And starts talking about her and it's her birthday and he gets absolutely hammered. Daniel-san has to put him to bed. He goes through some of his stuff and obviously really loved the dead wife. That wasn't the girl he left behind in Okinawa. Never mentions. Kind of sticks it in the back pocket. Never brings it up. She doesn't seem to know that he got married. Right. Kind of. kind of keeps it secret from her.

1:01:10Kyle Brandt:She's Japanese, right? She's not like from California. Like she's not American. Like she's not a white woman. This is Japanese. But she might've been a Japanese American

1:01:18Bill Simmons:that he met after World War II. But he said, hey, you never married? And in Karate Kid 2, the lady says, you know, I never did. There's a moment there where he's like, I actually did get married, but my wife is now dead. Nothing. Doesn't give anything to her. Just kind of hides it. She's going to find out at some point. And honestly, we're robbed from the scene of her getting mad that Miyagi got married. You got married, motherfucker? I've been living here in Okinawa for 45 years. This guy, Sato, he tortures me. He's got the escort service and construction. He owns the deed to the village. I wasn't able to get married.

1:01:56Bill Simmons:And you got fucking married, motherfucker?

1:02:01Kyle Brandt:Or Miyagi says it and she's like, I'm so glad you said that. I've been married three times. Yeah, I can't keep a man. I haven't married everybody in the village anybody who will marry me thank god you said that

1:02:12Bill Simmons:I worked for the escort service thank god you said that I thought you were with Daniel-san what's age the worst there's a clear winner for this Kamiko just gets fucking punched in the scene it's horrible it's stunning it's awful I was watching with my son and when Chosen doesn't slap her like it's a punch. My son was like, Oh, gave one of those. It's shocking. We see this a lot.

1:02:42Kyle Brandt:We see it a lot where the woman tries to help. And it's often like kind of trying to choke from behind. And a lot of times she'll get like thrown or something. And it's all horrible or like she'll get backhanded. And I don't want to like calibrate the violence. But to your point, the full on roundhouse right was excessive. And I was like, Oh, shit they didn't do that like he just full on full punches her no this

1:03:04Bill Simmons:was like Draymond punching out Jordan Poole like this was like this is like Kermit Washington yeah this is fucking horrible I can't believe

1:03:12Kyle Brandt:like unbelievable I can't believe the

1:03:14Bill Simmons:director was like just do every time we have this scene it's always the the backhand slap where you you could be like ah maybe he didn't realize she was there but this is like no he's actually just punching her it's pretty brutal I was surprised more would say it's the worst. Every Daniel scene with Kimiko, as great as she looks, I can't say the sexual attention is lighting my TV on fire.

1:03:41Kyle Brandt:It's a little bit... This is wheelhouse for you. It's a little Tom Cruise, Jennifer Connelly. It's a little silly. There's not real fireworks here. Every scene I'm just looking at her, I'm like, God, she's so pretty. such a pretty actress, but it's not great between them.

1:04:00Bill Simmons:My next what changed the worst is the poster.

1:04:04Kyle Brandt:What do you got?

1:04:08Bill Simmons:Can you see it?

1:04:09Kyle Brandt:Yeah, you got the keyboard up. Oh, damn. So it's a profile shot with them in the sun. And then what's the tagline?

1:04:16Bill Simmons:Yeah, you're dead fucking serious, too. It's just like... Oh, I kept hitting the keyboard thing. It's just... It's Daniel-san just kind of behind Miyagi. I don't know. I might have gone with Plan B. It's not exactly like a date movie. No. And then I had Miyagi breaking the guy code with Sato. It just has always bugged me for 40 years. What did you have for what's age the worst?

1:04:42Kyle Brandt:Covered almost all of them. Kreese beating up his students. Miyagi's fighting. Miyagi's Daniel-Son relationship. That's what I got.

1:04:49Bill Simmons:Okay. Ruffle a hand and ribbon a cartridge overacting where it has to be Sato.

1:04:57Kyle Brandt:Every scene is like this. But what have I chosen? Broken ice. or broken neck. He's bringing it too. But in their dojo, they act hard.

1:05:09Bill Simmons:I support both of it. All right, the CR thinks Luke Wilson should have been Harrison Ford. How to stake a word. What do you have?

1:05:16Kyle Brandt:I got something. The reason that Elizabeth Shue is not in this movie is Troy Aikman. Hear me out. In this year, 1986, a young quarterback transferred from Oklahoma under Barry Switzer to Terry Donahue's UCLA Bruins. Because of the transfer rule, That quarterback, Troy Aikman, had to sit out for a year. Aikman's sitting around in LA, nothing to do, a little bit bored. He's got the feathered Johnny hair. He's got the leather jacket. He's a jock. I think he's 20. Allie's 18. They met. She loved him. He's very charismatic. And because of Troy Aikman, my ESPN colleague, Bill Simmons, that is the reason that Allie broke up with Daniel LaRusso because of Troy Aikman.

1:05:56Bill Simmons:The parents are steering her toward him.

1:05:58Kyle Brandt:Yes. He's going to be a big star.

1:06:00Bill Simmons:Yeah, this guy's, this is the kind of person you should be dating, not this weirdo who hangs out with the maintenance man in his apartment building. Dresses up as a shower. Yeah. No. Yeah, no, get away from this guy. This guy's, hit your wagon to him. Yes. I really like that. Yeah, the timeline does work. I just think two and three should have been swapped in the Karate Kid trilogy.

1:06:21Kyle Brandt:Tell me why. This is good. We go, two is a year later.

1:06:26Bill Simmons:The breakup makes sense. Maybe Daniel drops out of college. the breakup makes more sense. The tournament's coming. It's a little closer. Maybe he's not too old to be in the tournament, like looked like in three. And then they could go to Japan for three. He can be any age at that point. He can be a junior in college at that point. It doesn't really matter. It doesn't have to be like the next day, this 18-year-old gig going to Japan. And I think it's a better third movie.

1:06:55Kyle Brandt:It's a good take. I think that their burden was with this movie.

1:06:58Bill Simmons:they're like how do we kick it up a notch how do we blow it out yeah because because the essence

1:07:03Kyle Brandt:of this movie is it's not a tournament anymore this is for real that's like the line and everything in fact there's that moment on the airplane it's almost like an okay motherfucker moment where daniel's like there's no referee how do you know who wins and miyagi's like the one who doesn't die doesn't win like he's like oh shit that's how it is now because the real problem with that bill is that how do you then come back to the tournament for karate kid three which is a whole different burden.

1:07:28Bill Simmons:Yeah, we'll deal with that with Karate Kid 3. Oh, yeah. Casting what ifs. So Elizabeth Shue was kind of salty. She wasn't in KK2. She had gone to do studies at Harvard and wasn't pleased with getting written out and didn't like the UCLA football thing. She was like, I would have done it. But I think she makes out fine not being in this person.

1:07:50Kyle Brandt:She fell into the Back to the Future franchise, but I don't have any sympathy for her. It's fine.

1:07:56Bill Simmons:Bill Conti, chose to score this movie instead of Rocky IV. Okay. Tell me more. Goes further. Peter Cetera wrote Glory of Love for Rocky IV. Stallone rejected it in favor of Hearts on Fire. Okay. I think all this worked out perfectly.

1:08:17Kyle Brandt:It did, and here's why. Glory of Love is a love song. Rocky IV is not a love movie. Rocky IV is a revenge movie.

1:08:26Bill Simmons:It's a revenge workout movie. Yes.

1:08:28Kyle Brandt:And like, I think Glory of Love, I was saying it's like maybe the most romantic song ever written. It's still not even in the top three songs in Rocky IV. I would take Training Montage, Hearts on Fire, and No Easy Way Out all over them. It's like, there's no room at the end. I'm sorry, Glory of Love, you're great, but not in this movie.

1:08:44Bill Simmons:Glory of Love doesn't make sense to me in Rocky IV.

1:08:46Kyle Brandt:No, it's not a love movie.

1:08:47Bill Simmons:I think it all worked out. That's that guy, Sato. I don't even care what his real name is. If I see him in anything else, it's like, Sato!

1:08:55Kyle Brandt:well no we definitely shot though but we got to shout out our guy clarence gillard i mean the guy who is sundown and top gun the guy who is theo and die hard the guy from walker texas ranger he's at the ice bar he's kind of like the mc he's got a tank top on and he did this and top gun in the same fucking year like everything was coming up clarence gillard whose name i didn't know but

1:09:17Bill Simmons:i've been watching him my whole life that's so good i didn't even have him written down you even trump me on that one. I think you're right.

1:09:22Kyle Brandt:Clarence Gilliard. And by the way, I wish they would have thrown him a bone and put him in Top Gun Maverick. No sundown presence. And now he's passed away. Ah. Yeah, he's not with us.

1:09:31Bill Simmons:Dion Waiter's award goes to Kreese. He's in one scene. Crushes it.

1:09:35Kyle Brandt:Oh, yeah. Perfect.

1:09:37Bill Simmons:My recasting couch director, Citi. Elizabeth Shue should have had a scene in this movie.

1:09:42Kyle Brandt:I know.

1:09:43Bill Simmons:Just have a breakup scene. Have Daniel-san at the prom. We can get Johnny Lawrence in there. We can have her with some quarterback and Daniel-san storming out. Why not? What's the downside?

1:09:56Kyle Brandt:Tough movie for William Zabka, huh? He just shows up, gets choked out, and then he's not in it anymore. He must have been pissed. You know what I mean, our guy?

1:10:05Bill Simmons:He's right in the swing of things here with just one of the guys back to school. He's got it going. And then he's basically fodder in this one. Half-Ester and Research, they filmed in Oahu in a place... uh a part of the island known as the windward side apparently the actor bd wong shows up at

1:10:25Kyle Brandt:the dance he's a kid so he's in there oh bd wong from howard weinstein from prince from uh father the bride jurassic park he shows up he's like hey there's a dance going on and he was like there's bd wong like that's the man he was in order too martin cove claims that the blood on

1:10:42Bill Simmons:his hands was real and that he still has scars on his hands i'm gonna just not believe that one fuck up my cove and then uh the Karate Kid 2 video game which you mentioned not the computer game there was uh a swinging axe in the video game fucking awesome we didn't mention that scene in the movie and then they played the song in the fascination while it's in the limo trip from the airport which was chosen which was also the song playing at the country club party in the Karate Kid 1 look at that yeah look at that uh throwing this one in the Rose from Titanic Award for character who's sneaky sucks.

1:11:21Kyle Brandt:Who is it? I can't wait. I have a thought.

1:11:23Bill Simmons:It's Daniel-san.

1:11:25Kyle Brandt:Oh, yeah. Not sneaky, though.

1:11:27Bill Simmons:Is he sneaky suck or openly suck?

1:11:30Kyle Brandt:Rose openly sucks, too, though, so it's all right.

1:11:33Bill Simmons:Yeah. Just wanted to mention him. Apex Mountain, Machio. I'm going to say yes. I think because coming out, this was bigger than one. This leads to, I don't know, he does Crossroads. He does Cry to Kid 3. He does eventually My Cousin, Vinny. Like, I think the fact that Karate Kid 2 made money was good for him.

1:11:51Kyle Brandt:I have a question for you.

1:11:53Bill Simmons:Yeah.

1:11:53Kyle Brandt:Let's talk about Macho for a second. Let's say his parents or his managers or whoever jumped in and made a different move. And after Karate Kid 1 blows up, they're like, no, no, no, you're done. We're not doing any sequels. We're going to do your own thing. Is there a world where Macho could have become like John Cusack? Like, could he have had that career? could he star in romantic could he be holding up the radio for Diane Court could Machio have done that it's hard to see him not Daniel's son but I just wonder if he ditched it after the first movie if he could have had a different career

1:12:29Bill Simmons:really good thought exercise I appreciate you considering me for this I think his face is too punchable I think the secret to the trilogy was also the downfall for him as an actor punchable face and the only time it really worked was my cousin vinny where he has to play oh hey yeah so he could basically do punchable face hero guy or like gregarious italian guy i don't know if there was a third pitch i think he just had the fastball on the curve and that was it oh look i mean listen

1:13:03Kyle Brandt:ultimately he agreed with you he's like let's just go back to la russo as an adult living in the valley running a car dealership and it worked and that series is great i i it's especially since how fast they made Karate Kid 2 to have the dexterity at that point to be like, no, I'm out. I'm out. Like, I don't think it could have happened. And I think once he did the second one, it was over.

1:13:22Bill Simmons:Yeah. Like if you're Leo DiCaprio, it's a little different. You're like, yeah, I'm not doing sequels. I have a whole giant career. I don't know. You know, could Macho have been the Emilio Estevez part in Stakeout the next year with Richard Dreyfuss?

1:13:35Kyle Brandt:I don't know.

1:13:35Bill Simmons:Probably not. Right?

1:13:36Kyle Brandt:No, I don't think so.

1:13:37Bill Simmons:Yeah.

1:13:38Kyle Brandt:I mean, he's a talented actor, but like you don't watch him and be like, God, he's an incredibly gifted actor. He's a cute kid and he's good in the part. He's perfect for Daniel-san. He is Daniel-san.

1:13:48Bill Simmons:Marita, Apex Mountain, I think was Cry to Kid 1. Oscar nomination is legit. It's incredible. Apex Mountain for Hawaii, Pretending to be Okinawa, yes. Apex Mountain for everybody else in the movie, basically. I think every actor or actress in this movie, this is probably the best, most famous movie they were in. The twisty drumstick thingies, whatever those are

1:14:13Kyle Brandt:they were everywhere afterwards you could buy those people had those like they were souvenirs that you would get and they were fun to play with

1:14:18Bill Simmons:and then homoerotic sensei student relationships the answer is Karate Kid 3 which we'll be covering on the rewatchables for the end of 2025 by the way the entire trilogy is on Netflix for the rest of the year so you can bang out KK1, KK2, KK3 Cobra Kai like whatever you want to do with the Karate Kid franchise it's there.

1:14:42Kyle Brandt:Dude I was watching the end of Karate Kid 2 and I just let it kind of lapse into the next movie. Next thing I knew I'm a half an hour into Terry Silver's house just hanging out having champagne loving life it's easy Cruise or

1:14:55Bill Simmons:Hanks. This is a tough one because there's only one American part

1:15:00Kyle Brandt:by the way how about our boy Cruise at the World Cup holy shit

1:15:05Bill Simmons:I thought he was pretty good he took out the cheek fillers slide. Is that right? His face looked more normal or he, whatever his face wasn't puffy. Like it was, he was at one point, I think he was with the Muppets and he looked like completely at home.

1:15:21Kyle Brandt:Like he was one of them. I've never seen him look more comfortable than when he was with like the Muppets and Kermit. I'm like, you're the fucking man Cruz. I'll go to war for you. I don't care how weird you are.

1:15:29Bill Simmons:Would you have cruises Sato?

1:15:32Kyle Brandt:Yeah. I mean, he's going to have to be like in like taps, like ripped bicep, the outsiders, like kicking ass. And I would buy him as one of the, I mean, I wouldn't buy him as Japanese, but I'd buy him as like an American, uh, pupil of Sato's maybe chosen.

1:15:47Bill Simmons:So maybe it's, yeah. Cause it's only Japanese parts in the eighties. We could have done it. We can't do it now, but maybe it's Sato's like American chief of staff played by Tom Cruise.

1:15:59Kyle Brandt:I think it's, I think it's, if it's a white guy, we're letting and have the part. I think it's chosen. Unless you go back to the first one and he gets the Daniel Sun part. It's chosen. Good call.

1:16:08Bill Simmons:Hans Gruber scale villain ranking. Sato, when he's evil, is like legitimately like an eight and a half.

1:16:15Kyle Brandt:I have written down starts as a nine, fades to a five. It's like he is pure evil to start. He's going to like bulldoze this people's town because Miyagi won't fight him. Like that's really, really evil. He killed all the fish. He's sending his henchmen to mess people up. But then he just goes soft. Gruber, Gruber's all in, dude. As Gruber is falling off Nakatomi, he's still trying to shoot McClane with the gun. Like, he's a terrorist for life. Right. So there's no flopping if you're in Gruber.

1:16:45Bill Simmons:It's a good point. Starts out as a nine. It drops. Chosen, to the bitter end, is at least an eight.

1:16:50Kyle Brandt:Oh, yeah. Chosen's a sociopath. Like, even at the end, he's like, die. It's like, shit, Chosen, you want to die? Right. He's in for the life.

1:16:57Bill Simmons:I forget when they brought him back for Cobra Kai, shows up and they actually try to make him like a semi-good guy, right?

1:17:03Kyle Brandt:He kind of becomes friends with Daniel Sun, which is lame. I didn't like that part, but he does show up and he looks good too. If you never watched Corporate Kai, it's all this season three is when they do the Karate Kid 2 stuff and it's really good.

1:17:13Bill Simmons:Yeah. And Kamiko looks great. Picking Nits. Yeah. Little kids asking for Daniel's autograph after the All Valley Karate Tournament. I'm just not buying it.

1:17:24Kyle Brandt:I fucking love it. I love it.

1:17:26Bill Simmons:There's no way. I started thinking of myself at age nine. I'm just not doing that. I don't know who would.

1:17:33Kyle Brandt:The magic of these movies is how big they make a karate tournament seem. Like it's this NBA finals and the Super Bowl and like the Olympics. And like, there's this part that the Sklar's always joke about in Karate Kid 1, where Daniel's like, have you heard about the new karate tournament? Ali's like, who hasn't? Like, of course. Like, there's gonna be lots of traffic around the Karate Kid tournament. Like, it makes such a big deal.

1:18:00Bill Simmons:we talked about Allie telling Daniel at the prom she was in love with the UCLA football player you did your Trey Ekman thing why would she tell him this at the prom

1:18:07Kyle Brandt:yeah I don't know it's very dramatic

1:18:09Bill Simmons:next day maybe get through the prom first or don't go to the prom

1:18:13Kyle Brandt:better question though six months together how's the prom night for those two what are we up to are the Russo and Allie are they doing it probably right

1:18:26Bill Simmons:I feel like they are maybe Daniel-san needed a little more life in the Miyagi maybe you mentioned this earlier why didn't either Sato or Suki move to America at any point

1:18:41Kyle Brandt:I don't know, endless resources for Sato all your whole life is about how Miyagi, you need to fight him, go fight him in Reseda fight him on Van Nuys, it doesn't matter fight him in the valley, he just waits

1:18:52Bill Simmons:and Suki, this is the love of your life, you're never going to try to hunt him down I wrote down ironically we are at least one good training sequence or karate fight short which you already covered yeah where do you stand on the Okinawans speaking broken English to each other I feel like we would have in 2026 maybe just had them speaking Japanese with subtitles

1:19:14Kyle Brandt:do the subtitles no but I don't know why Chosen is talking to Sato in English at all in the village in Japan no it doesn't make sense

1:19:22Bill Simmons:did you have any picking nets we did all the other ones

1:19:25Kyle Brandt:yeah this is So when Daniel gets chosen, beaten at the end, and he does the nose honk, they ADR the nose honk. Like, he's not saying it. Did you notice that? Like, he goes, honk. Macchio's lips aren't even moving. It's clearly dubbed later. It looks really bad. And I don't know, maybe leds more credibility to your theory that something was wrong with Macchio in the final fight. Like, he's hurt or something. But if you watch it, when he goes, honk, his lips aren't moving. It looks really sloppy. be.

1:19:54Bill Simmons:Is this movie better with Wayne Jenkins, Fergie the Flores, Zane Lowe, Robert Evans, Dr. Charles Nickel, Buffalo Bill, or someone else?

1:20:04Kyle Brandt:Well, here's what happens. Sato will resort to anything to get an edge on Miyagi. And he finds out that LaRusso had this young love back in LA. So Sato hires Wilford Brimley from the firm. And Wilford Brimley shows up with photographs and he sits down LaRusso and says, here's your alley. One day, walk into the mailbox, anticipating the arrival of her Red Book or Sharper Image catalog. What does she find instead? She finds heartache, Daniel-san. Go ahead, take a look. Devastating. Not just kissing, Daniel-san, the kind of intimate acts, ceremonial tea and whatnot. Could be particularly hard for a young girlfriend to forgive and impossible to forget.

1:20:43Kyle Brandt:So I knew you'll do your best to get your sensei here at midnight so I could fight him, right? Won't you, Daniel Sun? That's it. Oh, he would have been great. I love Wilford.

1:20:52Bill Simmons:Maybe Cruz could have played Brimley. And Brimley's big then.

1:20:56Kyle Brandt:Brimley's huge. It would have been a big fee to get him to go to Oahu to shoot it. But I think with those photographs and that Red Book Magazine reference, I think it really rattled Daniel Sun.

1:21:05Bill Simmons:I had either Alexi Lawless or Tony Romo. I don't know which one. Do you want to hear more?

1:21:10Kyle Brandt:You better believe it's Lawless right now. Let's go.

1:21:14Bill Simmons:I love Lawless after the fight. Yeah. Where Daniel-san saves the village and Kimiko. And then it cuts to Lawless at the booth. And Lawless is like, I know Daniel-san won the fight. But I honestly didn't like how he looked. I don't understand the two-hand punches at all. I thought he took a lot of hits. And ultimately, I think if you're a Daniel-san fan, you can't feel good about that fight. I know he won. I know it wasn't for tournament. It was for real. But I just didn't like how he fought. followed by Zlatan doing this.

1:21:53Kyle Brandt:Camera's over here. Just a complete turd. See, I feel like, maybe I'm wrong. I feel like there is a text thread of you and CR and maybe some others, and it's just a lot of lawless content. And I really want to be on it. I feel like there's a text thread.

1:22:07Bill Simmons:We can definitely add you. Well, now it's over. So there is a thread.

1:22:11Kyle Brandt:All right, I want in for 2030. 30. I wanted it for the next World Cup. I think Lala's at a point

1:22:17Bill Simmons:when you're on TV and you know it's not going well, I think you just kind of buy into it, right? Like, ah, fuck it. I'm just, you want me to be the villain? I'll be the villain. Fine. You almost become, you go full Sato.

1:22:30Kyle Brandt:Is that what you and Jalen would do when going got tough?

1:22:35Bill Simmons:I wish we had, honestly.

1:22:37Kyle Brandt:So coward! No follow-up with me question! you no sold my thoughts on Jamal Crawford it was very funny and you deliberately didn't laugh

1:22:53Bill Simmons:oh man just one Oscar who gets it Marita?

1:22:57Kyle Brandt:no Sato? Peter Satera oh

1:23:00Bill Simmons:good call

1:23:01Kyle Brandt:for the glory of love

1:23:03Bill Simmons:good call probably unanswerable questions I have two what do you have?

1:23:10Kyle Brandt:all right, I got one for you. And as a follow-up, is Daniel's son good at karate?

1:23:15Bill Simmons:Well, the crane technique got just fucking annihilated in the big fight scene.

1:23:19Kyle Brandt:I forgot, we forgot to bring that up. It's one of the most powerful moments of the movie when Daniel's son is getting his ass kicked and he's like, oh, break glass in case of emergency, go to the crane kick. And Chosen just fucks it up. It reminds me of like, let's say like the 2008 football season after the Giants beat the Patriots, week one, David Tyree goes to Eli. and he's like, hey, Eli, just throw it up to me over the middle, man. I'll go up and get it with my helmet. It's going to be awesome. And Eli's like, ah, that shit's not going to work again. He tried to go back to the well of the crane kick.

1:23:50Kyle Brandt:Not a fucking chance.

1:23:51Bill Simmons:I was thinking it was like when the Pats would call the Edelman wide receiver pass. Yeah. And they only did it like twice, and each time it worked. But they do it the one extra time where he just gets annihilated. Too much. It's like, ah, they read it that time. Yeah, the crane kick got swallowed up.

1:24:06Kyle Brandt:Or it was when Amendola threw the pass to Brady in the Super Bowl and he dropped it. Right. Anyway, I asked, is Danielson good at karate? Let me ask you this. If you were in a pinch, Bill Simmons, and you're in a dark alley, okay, and there's going to be like some sort of like podcast rumble and the people from like iHeart and all that, they're going to jump you. And you only get one person from the Karate Kid world, non-sensei, like no Miyagi, no Sato, who do you want on your side?

1:24:34Bill Simmons:So the part of my take guys are in the alley. They're just going to jump me.

1:24:37Kyle Brandt:he's only one of me two of them yeah you get someone from the karate kid world to help you fight the part from the karate kid world yeah like not not miyagi or sato but like so put it this way anybody johnny daniel chosen mike barnes any who do you want i mean do you take the karate

1:24:56Bill Simmons:kid like do you take la russo probably not i don't think he's a first round pick i don't think so either even though i would take all those guys i would take johnny lawrence over him i would take Dutch over him, hands down. We still never saw how he beat Dutch. I would take Chosen over him. Okay. I don't think Chosen wins unless they do the drumstick thing. I thought that fucked with Chosen's head. Okay. He was like, oh my god, my own village has now turned against me. And I just thought he was in the redhead space. And the Mike Barnes thing was a farce. Mike Barnes dominated him in that fight.

1:25:27Bill Simmons:Yeah. And I think just, Mike Barnes actually got we'll talk about it when we do KK3, but he just got too confident.

1:25:33Kyle Brandt:He did. And he's under bad coaching from Silver. It was a little Chong Li-esque

1:25:37Bill Simmons:where Chong Li thought he won

1:25:39Kyle Brandt:and started doing a... Yes, against Ray Jackson. Yeah. So LaRusso beat all those guys that you're talking about, but he would still take them all in the pardon my take fight over LaRusso. And I agree with you. Isn't that weird? Even though he beat them all.

1:25:52Bill Simmons:Honestly, I think Sato might have been the best one of all of them.

1:25:55Kyle Brandt:Definitely. Big, strong. I wish we could see Sato Miyagi.

1:25:57Bill Simmons:You saw him getting the stance once.

1:25:58Kyle Brandt:I was like, oh my God, Sato. I think Miyagi's running from Sato because Miyagi knows Sato is going to fuck him up. He's bigger. He's madder. He's meaner. Sato would go.

1:26:07Bill Simmons:He would teach street classes, go right upstairs to the escort service, and then go show a couple houses and call it a day. That's right. Unanswerables. Was Suki a virgin?

1:26:23Kyle Brandt:No. No. No, no, no. No way. I don't know. I think you want me to say yes. She really loved Miyagi.

1:26:33Bill Simmons:it couldn't be with Sato where she just damaged goods at that point. Like nobody else in the village could go near her because of Sato.

1:26:40Kyle Brandt:You bring up a good point.

1:26:41Bill Simmons:And she's just like basically a nun. She's like a non-practicing nun.

1:26:46Kyle Brandt:Yeah. If she's not a virgin, it's because she did it with Miyagi before he left.

1:26:53Bill Simmons:It's a better answer.

1:26:54Kyle Brandt:That's probably the best.

1:26:55Bill Simmons:Did suddenly nice heel turn reverse Sato end up with Suki?

1:27:01Kyle Brandt:well i'm trying to think the karate kid 3 lore like that she's not in the movie so they don't

1:27:07Bill Simmons:exist after karate kid 2 we have no idea what happens to any of these people until the cobra

1:27:10Kyle Brandt:kai series so okay so i might watch the first half hour like last night daniel's mom asks him about kamiko there's a conversation with about kamiko and kamiko got into like a dance school so they're broken up yeah but there's nothing about miyagi's love life he doesn't even mention her so he just ditches her again i don't know she probably jumps off a building or something she had a hard life that lady that's it memorabilia you'd most want or not want from these movies

1:27:36Bill Simmons:obviously the drumstick thing is whatever those were called you would want like a like the ones miyagi used in the final scene or something i also was a little partial to daniel's robe yeah it's the bright red dan whatever robe he was wearing was cool what do you have um

1:27:53Kyle Brandt:i i'm gonna have some friends over for beers we're gonna go out in the backyard and they're gonna be like dude is that sato's fucking wood and i'm like yeah you want to chop at it i got it let's take some chops guys and they all just line up and chop their shit and hurt their hand i want that in my backyard with a koi pond and all that shit you have an er doctor back there for everybody an orthopedic surgeon everyone's breaking their hand but at least you get a shot at the sato wood piece. I want that thing bad. Where is that? Those auction sites you're always going on. They got to have that somewhere.

1:28:25Kyle Brandt:I want that.

1:28:25Bill Simmons:An auction site recently had Reg Dunlap's Slapshot Charleston Chiefs jersey. See?

1:28:31Kyle Brandt:They got that. I had a friend of mine

1:28:34Bill Simmons:mailing it to me like, just get it. I'm like, what am I going to do with this? Wear it on a podcast. Also, Paul Newman was like 5 '8". I couldn't wear it. Coach Finstock, Mr. Miyagi Award. Best, worst life lesson. a person with no forgiveness and heart live in either worse punishment than

1:28:52Kyle Brandt:death I think it's a decent

1:28:54Bill Simmons:life lesson like learn how to move on

1:28:57Kyle Brandt:for sure the 45 year thing is absurd I have a hey Miyagi don't shoplift the pooty from your best friend how about that put that in your book that's a

1:29:08Bill Simmons:great one best double feature choice would you go KK1 or KK3 I got the Peter

1:29:14Kyle Brandt:North documentary wait till you get a load of him no i would go kk3 it stands alone with the sequels it's coming soon bill

1:29:25Bill Simmons:do you think the peter north documentary goes into the controversy when he did a couple gay

1:29:30Kyle Brandt:films that popped out yes i do you think that's a good choice of words i think they cover everything but i mean the movie's called peter and he i watched the trailer he's canadian he's like yeah my name's not peter north i'm just this guy from nova scotia and then like jenna jameson's in it Like I already feel disgusting, but I think I have to watch it. We should do it on rewatchable. If it's good enough, we will. So we're doing Peter. Let's go. Kyle and Van Lathan are here.

1:29:54Bill Simmons:By the way, Peter North. Great name.

1:29:57Kyle Brandt:Fucking incredible.

1:29:58Bill Simmons:Think about it. Like, I don't think people realize the double meaning of Peter North.

1:30:04Kyle Brandt:All right. So very quickly.

1:30:06Bill Simmons:Yeah.

1:30:07Kyle Brandt:I got to meet Peter North once.

1:30:09Bill Simmons:Oh, wow.

1:30:09Kyle Brandt:I met him in Los Angeles. Nice to meet you. How are you? and he was telling me he has a production company now. He makes porn. The name of the production company, Bill, is North Pole Productions. I'm like, you fucking hero, Peter North. Look at you.

1:30:23Bill Simmons:Great job by him.

1:30:24Kyle Brandt:North Pole. It's just great.

1:30:26Bill Simmons:We had a friend of my Vegas crew, my friend Mike, like mildly looked like Peter North and it was 20 years of jokes.

1:30:35Kyle Brandt:That's great. I need to see Mike now. I've always thought he looks like Ben Foles from Ben Foles 5, Peter North, but I want to see Mike.

1:30:41Bill Simmons:Yeah. who won the movie? Who won Karate Kid 2?

1:30:46Kyle Brandt:I have a controversial answer.

1:30:47Bill Simmons:Cetera?

1:30:49Kyle Brandt:Peter Cetera, Bill, I think is what is remembered for. I think this is one of those movies that you remember the song. Like, I'm talking about, like, Prince of Thieves, The Bodyguard. Like, those movies, the song comes to mind, An American Tale, it comes to mind before the fucking movie. And I go back to that Schrager text. We're doing Karate Kid 2. I'm a man who will fight for your honor. I think that's what people think of. It's a really good answer.

1:31:13Bill Simmons:I'm going with Marita, but I respect the Cetera. The important thing is no votes for Macchio.

1:31:19Kyle Brandt:No, zero. No, no, no, no.

1:31:21Bill Simmons:You could have talked me into Sato, too.

1:31:23Kyle Brandt:I love Sato. Coward! You come to fight me now! He's having this wood break his ribcage. He can barely get oxygen, but he's still, like, talking shit. He's so mad.

1:31:36Bill Simmons:Really? It's so great. Really had his honor violated. Oh, now you want to fight. Now. His honor was totally violated. Karate Kid, too. Well, we did it, Kyle Brandt. We did it. We finished Karate Kid 2, which now enables us at some point in 2026 to do the funniest movie in the 1980s, Karate Kid 3. So we'll save that for another time.

1:31:54Kyle Brandt:You getting ready for football season or what? Very ready. This morning I made my premiere, my debut appearance on Get Up on ESPN. And it was bonkers to be there with Shefty and Greeny, but like really fun, really nice. And you won't believe this. We talked some Cowboys. It was great. they were in the b block yeah i think it was the a actually even after the world cup but no uh it was awesome the people very nice well produced it's weird to be on a show that you've watched for a long time it's even weirder to be on they've competed against for a long time right they were

1:32:27Bill Simmons:very very cool very cool oh that's interesting it's a little like going wcw to wwe a little bit it was a little bit in your case ecw yes exactly right but i liked it i'm going again tomorrow All right, great. Have fun. Thanks, Kyle Brandt. Pleasure as always. Thanks to Eduardo and Gahau as well. And we'll see you next week on The Rewatch.