‘The Sure Thing’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan

24:41Bill Simmons:Congratulations, guys. You did great. $4.5 million budget. Made$18.1 million. Not bad for 1985. Roger Ebert, three and a half stars. Fucking loved it. Fucking killed it. I watched Siskel and Ebert talking about this today. They were like over the moon for it. Well, this is coming off. We should have mentioned this earlier, but this is a five-year run of horny teenagers trying to get laid movies. Yeah. the poster of this, the premise of it makes it seem like, oh, we're doing this again. And it's like, no, we're actually not doing this again. Stick with us. So I think those guys were so grateful.

25:11Bill Simmons:Somebody put some actual thought. And I think, I don't even think this is the hottest take. I think you could argue that this ended the Porky's era. Like this actual, this was the movie that was like, we're done now. Oh, like we've now elevated beyond this. We're going to move this way now. Yes. And we're going to put some more thought into this and, you know, because this movie sells sex but doesn't give you any i mean yeah i mean there's one sort of comic sex scene in this movie and other than that it's pretty chaste and like the marketing and the poster makes you think this is much more of a raunchy teen sex comedy and it's really not it's closer to like if the road trip scene from when harry met sally was like the whole movie with two 18 year olds yeah there's another movie a year before that compliment's been badgering me to do on rewatchables forever the flamingo kid sure that's different than this movie but also was like kind of that elevated you think it's one thing but it's actually a way better version of it Ebert said the love story is one of Hollywood's missing genres the movie industry seems better at teenage movies like Porky's with its sleazy shower scenes than with screenplays that involve any sort of thought about the love lives of its characters that's why the sure thing is a small miracle the film is so revolutionary it believes sex should be accompanied by respect and love exclamation point yeah Raj Raj just wanted us to work on our relationships in movies.

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27:24Bill Simmons:Imagine being a million miles away. Explore what's possible. Ask your doctor about Trimphaya. Tap this ad to learn more about Trimphaya, including important safety information. All right, most rewatchable scene. The opening credits are great. Rod Stewart. Yes. You like that song? Yeah. I think it's it. Infatuation. His disco-y funk era is not my favorite Rod Stewart, but it's a cool song. If I'd put that on at a holiday party, would people have thought that was weird? like hey guys here's Rod Stewart's infatuation I'd love that you should have just played the sure thing soundtrack for the party it's a great opening credits talk about like a way to hook you into the movie like you're locked in yeah she does a great job the opening credits is a lost art in movies now we don't do that anymore yeah I mean like a lot of the big blockbusters now I feel like pretty much skip the opening credits and get right into like a big action there's no vibe setting which is what this really does the next rewatchables movie we're gonna do which I'm not gonna spoil has opening credits Yeah, that's true.

28:22Bill Simmons:It was noticeable. It's like, oh, guys. Old school. Look at this. Going back to the well. Most rewatchable scene. The first classroom scene that sets up Gibb as our carefree, lovable kind of fuck up. I hope he can pull off just everything in life. And then Allison as the intense overachiever. Some good back and forth with them. I like a good football scene in these 80s, 90s movies too. Honestly, if they wanted to do the first hour and a half of this movie being just football on the quad, I would have taken it. This is such a funny fucking scene. Yeah. From like... Him announcing it? Yeah. The announcing that's going on, he also keeps getting...

29:00He's like Ed Reed. I know. He keeps getting interceptions. He's a good athlete. Yeah, pretty good. He's tall. Yeah. Yeah. I love this scene. And I love the moment where he like runs by Allison and her friend and never like says hi, but just keeps his Pat Summerall announcing going. And then like, it's just kind of looking at her and she's kind of like... It's just such a great little moment. And they don't have any real interaction until he goes and stalks her down by the pool.

29:25Bill Simmons:Craig, how much 2-1-2 football have you played in your life? Tons. On the beach? It's a big movie trope. The best beach sport. Movies love the 2-1-2 flag football. And then what is it like? They were playing 5-1-1-1 for Blitz? Yeah. They did the stop and go. That's always a good one. That's the best route. That's the Kevin Petulo right there. You got to sell the pump fake though. Right, true. I knew nothing as an only child. So basically anything I knew from colleges were from going to visit my Uncle Don and my Aunt Louise in college or movies. And I just thought movies were like, I thought college was like movies like this.

30:00Bill Simmons:I absolutely thought college was like this. You went to your buddy's room and he had 10 ,000 beer bottles all stacked up. Is it not like that? I feel like it is like that. And people play football. No, in my head, I was like, this is college. But I thought when they're like, it's Friday night! And the guy has a Miller Highland. A guy opening the window going, it's Friday night! You want to do Most Givable Moment. I don't know how that Friday beers get on that right now because that's an iconic moment of that that guy's also like 28 but I love that scene I love that and then immediately everybody is like playing soccer in the hall and exchanging kegs it's like the swimming pool scene's funny that's where you're like oh Cusack's just gonna go for it this whole movie he's cooking yeah Gibb and Allison getting kicked out of Gary Cooper's car played by Tim Robbins yep which includes show tunes shotgunning a beer and eating cheese balls I think which is the Big Kahuna Burger where for best use of food or drink Allison flashing a car yeah he'll turn the tables and then Tim Robbins escaping with a lock the doors lock the doors when that woman screams she is so funny his wife yeah lock the door and she's like ah

31:07Bill Simmons:possible Great Shot Gordo award here they're they're they're outside the car's gone in Cusack City on the ground with the camera and the road behind them and Daphne Zuniga's character is behind them. It's a good one. Gib foiling the hitchhiker, possible rapist, where he does that. I mean, that could be some crazy slimeball! I could shoot brain! He's really funny in that. Eat it just for pleasure! The scene where it just starts pouring rain on them. Yeah. And she remembers she has a credit card but can only use it for emergencies. I hope one comes up. Maybe one will come up.

31:48Bill Simmons:I'm a big fan of these scenes of the rom-com the accidental cuddle scene yes always works Gib wakes up cuddling Allison oh sorry sorry no it's alright like at that point it's like come on Gib she's sending you the official signs now I mean she's like you can sleep in the bed with me yeah come on Gib they get a ride and he tells the trucker his whole sure thing story which of course she wakes up for two more scenes the Lance's Hollywood The Tahiti frat party? His Hawaiian 80s party. Just sounded amazing. The punch bowl insults were funny. And then the last one, which is my pick, the professor reading the short thing essay.

32:25Bill Simmons:Yes. Does God exist? Who invented liquid soap and why? And then the answer was no. That scene's awesome. Yes. You're like, why do they keep going to this professor? What's going to be the payoff with her? Vivica Lindforce, is that who plays her? Yeah, she's some old school. She's an old school Hollywood actress. Yeah. Yeah. I just want to shout out an honorable mention rewatchable scene, the dive bar scene. Oh, yeah. Which is just so random. I knew you would love that scene. But the guy being like, I had fried food today. I shouldn't have done it. You know, like, and it's just like those three guys sitting at the bar and being like, we're pretty good looking.

33:04You know? I love that.

33:06Bill Simmons:But we were better at the 80s and 90s with just having random dive bar scenes with weird characters. But it's also like, that scene doesn't, actually have like a purpose other than this is maybe where he's going to wind up if he doesn't get his shit together it's the only scene that can be cut and it might be my favorite scene in the movie the waitress who keeps coming back and he just keeps giving her like random facts and she's just like cool that's one of my two flexes that two I wrote down in this scene is the Rick Dalton award for the best fucking acting I've ever seen in my life the fat drunk guy at the bar I think is some of the best drunk acting I've ever seen I was like is this Brando in makeup or something he is remarkably good i looked him up his name is george mamoli he actually died in 1985 oh he's been in a bunch of other movies he had an accident on set he was supposed to be in taxi driver scorsese in an interview in 2002 said he died because of that injury on set oh but whoa i know it's crazy craig's like really bringing it today i know i honestly loved it i feel like i've already seen the movie 10 times even though i've watched it once i'm gonna i'm gonna say fuck it i'm gonna go with the dive bar even though allison's not in it that's the most rewatchable scene have you ever had a professor who could read anything that well in front of a class i was going to bring up creative writing workshops a little bit later, but we can I've never had, I've had some pretty magnetic professors, but they were more like monologuing doing their lectures the creative writing workshops are a real crapshoot my 8th grade English teacher Wally Ramsey, father of my buddy Gus he would read essays sometime, it was really good yeah, that's the only one I can remember first pass on that essay is just nailing it, it's amazing, really crushing it Also, she does the thing that I don't think teachers do anymore where she grades people out loud in front of everyone.

34:47Bill Simmons:Yeah, now that would cause an absolute riot. She's like, Allison, I liked it, but open up a little bit more. Yeah. B plus. Just like goes to the next person. That's how they got Lydia Tarr, you know? I should do that at the end of the year with the Ringer staff. On mic, review every podcast. I thought you had a great year. To be fair, you opened this podcast doing that to me. It's true. A little bit of fluff in the beginning, CR. But then you got to where you needed to go. What's the most 1985 thing about this movie? Writing detailed letters to your friends from high school? Yeah. Yes. Dear Sean, I'm having a great time in school.

35:29Bill Simmons:I saw one battle after another. I thought it was awesome. I know you must have loved it. And then you would just send it, not here for three days? We really did do that. I would send letters to my friends. I would say that my emails to friends were still pretty long until I got Gchat in like Oath 2. And then it just turned into like everything was one sentence. But like up until like when you first had to like go to the library to log into your email, I would still be like, well, I'm only coming here like twice a week. So I'm writing a long email. We would have the mailbox in college. It was like genuinely exciting to go to the mailbox every day and see if you got a letter from somebody.

36:14Bill Simmons:It's really strange. Sounds like a better time. I like the line from Lance, I'm talking to you cordless. Yeah. That's pretty 1985. More 1985. Writing funny sex story letters to Penthouse. Yes. Everyone tried this in the 80s. I did not. I'm talking to you cordless. Everyone. Everyone. Trust me. I'm talking to you Cordless I had and then Allison had an amazing Culture Club poster in her room she had the Paul Newman one in Culture Club right the Culture Club poster probably had a five month shelf life by 1986 you're not having that poster no you've moved on to the boss or something did you have any other ones I had I don't know if this is still a thing but the the ride bulletin board so I wondered about that I wondered if they they still must have that though right or maybe it's now a message board I just feel like it's either a message board or it's just like, yeah, my buddy's driving back to Atlanta, so I'm going to get a ride with him or something.

37:10You know, like it's the idea of just being like, I guess I'll get in this car for three days with this person who's the only thing I know about them is that they put an index card up on a bulletin board. It seems highly unlikely.

37:22Bill Simmons:I had this in one stage the worst, but getting a ride with them, but then also sharing a hotel with two double beds with strangers. I got to admit, I don't think that happens in 25. No, but I will say some of the best road trips I've ever had have been like random going back to, going back home for Thanksgiving with a couple of like, like Andy and I used to go back to Philly on Thanksgiving and he would take a bunch of his buddies from Brown University with him. So I would drive some people with me and it would always be the best. Like those, those like we're out of school for a week, let's go is the best feeling.

37:55Bill Simmons:What's age the best? The soundtrack, which I think is the reason this movie is not streaming, includes Rod Stewart Infatuation, Huey Lewis, Harder Rock and Roll. John Waits, Crying Over You, which I forgot how much I loved. Yeah. Heartache Tonight. You know that song? Sing it. Crying over you. He had a couple of bangers, Wait. He really did. Eagles, Heartbreak Tonight. Yeah. The Cars, you might think. Wang Chung, Dance All Days. Lights Out by Peter Wolfe. And then Penny Lover by Lionel Richie. Yeah. Which is maybe his best song. It's like, I think that's like a zag. I don't know if I believe it but I think you could say it's his best constructed song better than Smells Like Teen Spirit well I can't wait to talk about that more would say it's the best I mentioned how the movie made college seem just so great really seems like an awesome place I would say I couldn't decide whether to put it in best or worst but the the scene of Anthony Edwards calling John Cusack from from Pepperdine or UCLA he's in UCLA LA, but it seems like he's at Pepperdine because he's got the...

39:07No, he said he was at his buddy's Malibu. Oh, that's right. He's at his buddy's Malibu place. And like, there's just like 14 girls drinking Diet Cokes in the pool. It's the Playboy Mansion, basically. Yeah. And he's just like... Were you doing that at San Diego? There's a little bit of that. Calling your buddies? It wasn't not like that. Yo, dude, we're in La Jolla. I'm talking to you cordless. That is one of like the hardest things to get your head around, though. Like when... If you've gone to... If you went to college in the Northeast, and then you hear about what college was like for people who went to school in Southern California are just like, God damn it.

39:38What was I thinking? Why did I think nine months of dark, cold weather would be a good idea?

39:44Bill Simmons:There's a couple schools out here that are like that. The UCSB was like the stealth fight club. The student body didn't even talk about it. They didn't want anyone else to know. Now everyone knows, but I think that they had it hidden for a while. Just like how great it was? Yeah, how great it is to go to school in Santa Barbara and just have all these options. It's a huge party town. They're like legendary for Halloween there. It's insane. But San Diego is another one. Just a good place to go to college. A lot of stuff going on. I like the line, how would you like to have a sexual encounter so intense it could change your political views?

40:19Bill Simmons:It's just good writing. What's the best? Professors with cool accents reading essays in class? Yeah. I had this in college. Professor Vanna Celi, RIP. Snowy College campuses, fun. I want to shout out for what's age the best the stuffy boyfriend that she had in two minutes yeah two minutes he talks about his flannel sheets that he just put on he he has choices of tea he cleared out her draw for her for the week and then he's a big gin rummy guy offering to give her extra points they just nailed everything with that and every time she's just like let's go to Disneyland he's like well Disneyland for children yeah

41:03Bill Simmons:the whole concept of giving somebody a real name like Nick Nick's your buddy Nick's a guy you can trust Nick will let you puke in your car do you think Nick's the right name for that? in 1985 I feel like that's Ben that was one of the reasons I named my son Ben I feel like Ben's are just really reliable when has a Ben ever let you down? and then Lance's room which not only had the 100 different beer bottles but had the 1984 tennis poster of the girl's ass where she's putting the ball in and there's an ass cheek, which was there in the 80s for a while. But I think people realized eventually this isn't the greatest way to have the opposite sex feeling comfortable in my room.

41:43Bill Simmons:I did have, for what's age the worst, what Lance's room probably smelled like. Because you know he's not thoroughly washing those beer bottles out. So it probably just smells like sweat. Oh, it smells like skunk beer. And skunked beer. And he's like, this is the love palace. This is where I take all the checks. you have any other what's age the best no I mean just the vision of 1980s college life was really aged the best between the classes the fashions the I love the way Allison has divided her day where she's like you know six o 'clock calculus 645 phone call you know like yeah and just like the the Friday night partying and stuff like that that was my favorite also what's age the best is or actually you know you could say it's the worst but was it easier back then when somebody would just be like hey, here's a picture of a girl I think you might like.

42:30And that was the extent of the knowledge that you had. And you had to actually go meet that person.

42:35Bill Simmons:Going cross country. We should mention what's aged the best, young Cusack. Just knowing that you're going to spend the next 40 years with this guy. I have a special Amanda Dobbins Award for the best piece of real estate. The three-story Malibu house in Gibbs's Dreams. Yes. Great house. That's like a$100 million house now. Oh, it's insane. Three stories right on the beach. it's like a staircase I wonder where they shot that do you think that was in Malibu do you think that was in like Hermosa I think it was like way down in Malibu closer to like when it when it gets a little barren Great Jack Gordor Award can we just say the man who shot this film shot There Will Be Blood that is fucking nuts and another hallmark of Rob Reiner movies he works with incredible people he picks like the best people to shoot and cut and write his movies and Robert Ellsworth was the DOP on this.

43:28Yeah. I wouldn't know that if you put two frames next to each other, but it is an indication of his eye for talent.

43:35Bill Simmons:Yeah, I mean, that was like Goldman's favorite guy to do stuff with. Yeah. And Goldman, when he started working with him, Goldman and Robert Towne were the two best screenwriters, right? Reiner's like, come on. And Goldman was going through, I think, a little bit of a tough time. Like writer's block, back issues, and the Reiner stuff really like reinvigorated. Like Tracy McGrady. Yeah, a little bit. Like Tracy McGrady going to the rocket. great shot Gordo I was going to say the wallet being in the bed is so well done when it's that shot of them looking them looking they're looking around and then they leave and it just comes down and you just see the the wallet and all the stuff is really good what'd you have I just had the dolly shot of Gib walking up and down the pool yelling at her oh yeah it's just like a right on the edge of absurd yeah and he jumps in the pool and it's just like such a great like piece of visual a visual joke Kid Cudi Pursuit of Happiness where Best Needle dropped.

44:26Bill Simmons:It could be Infatuation up in credits, but I think Penny Lover drops at a really nice time for the slow dance. I thought you might think when you walk into the frat party, that's what I would want to hear if I was walking into a Tahitian-themed frat party. That's good. CR's choice for a flex category. What do you got? Book About Metals Award for belatedly best quote or exchange is when Cusack says that he plays football for grambling. And his friend is like, I thought grambling was all black. and Cusack just goes so what? it's such a random little line he's like it's nine interceptions on this season for grambling and he's like I thought grambling was all black

45:11Bill Simmons:that's a good one Butch's girlfriend award for weak link of the film they just don't do a good enough job with the Sheridan character the shirt thing you end up feeling even in the moment not feeling great for her but then the years later she's just I don't know I just feel bad for her I wish she had been like 10 % more like kind of on it so neither no you think it's perfect no no no I think it's it's the only glaring issue with this movie is that he's getting this gorgeous brown woman at UCLA is just roaming around a frat party with no one near her nothing to do no she's literally getting pimped out by Anthony Edwards he's just like come here she's ready for it sure and for the next hour and a half, I'll just follow John Cusack around and hope he talks to me.

45:57No other man is speaking with me. I have nothing else to do. She's like the hottest woman in LA. No one's getting near her. Don Simpson's stepson is probably there or whatever. She would be hounded. She'd have been hounded. She'd give a fuck about some guy on the East Coast.

46:09Bill Simmons:But this was an 80s trope where either it was that or it was Lori Loughlin in Secret Admirer with nobody likes her and she's like smoking hot. The casting or the presentation of the two other people in these people's lives. So Jason, the boyfriend at UCLA and Nicolette Sheridan, it's like, I could stand for them to be a little bit more relatable or human, but like, I understand why you have to make them caricatures. They're like props. Yeah. Yeah. What's age the worst? Cusack tries a Valley Girl accent at one point, which was very in vogue in 85, but now it's like, I don't know if somebody did that now.

46:45Bill Simmons:I don't know if anyone's getting the joke. Yeah. Or you think they were doing like California occasion. What was that? The Californian. Yeah. Yeah. I have a good what's age the worst, though. And this is a theme for 80s movies. 80s teens being really fascinated by stars in outer space as a way to make it seem more human to girls. This is a big one in Can't Buy Me Love. But it's a lot. It was a way to show that there was more to the guy than just trying to get laid. We'd be like, it's all out there, man. All these stars. And it'd be like, how did them have in a moment? Yeah. Yeah. Now I realize I probably should have done that more when I was trying to get a girlfriend.

47:26Do you think that there's like a telescopes became more widely available kind of thing that's happening with that?

47:31Bill Simmons:Or do we have too much info in outer space now? And it's like, yeah, there's some shit up there. Yeah. We've kind of explored everything. Put some satellites. Yeah, it's just some stars. There's no human life. I have, for what's the age of the worst, the character named Walter Gibson. Not a name you see on a lot of white guys anymore. No, he'd be like a left guard for the Jacksonville Jackwars. Walter Gibson's probable to come back. Kirby Smart really saw something in him. Writing workshops, I know they help people with their work, but you have to listen to a lot of bad writing when you're in writing workshops.

48:06And you have to do a lot of

48:09Bill Simmons:kind of really forcing and compliments. Yeah, at Emerson, I had to listen to Vampire Erotica and just be like, that was pretty good. Yeah, I think you might want to think about the last act. Chris, you really have an eye for characters? Your ear for dialogue is amazing. Yeah. Ear for dialogue is a good compliment. Hitchhiking? Yeah. We don't do that too much anymore. It's probably the worst. You know why we don't do it? Because Netflix has been 45 true crime documentaries that end with a hitchhiker being murdered. Not to get dark, but was there a definitive end to hitchhiking that something happened?

48:45Bill Simmons:Yeah, end of the 70s. Okay. Yeah. I think the 70s it was going and then They were actually like PSA TV movies that I remember watching. Don't hitchhike. In the late 70s where it was like, this guy's... Did you ever hitchhike? Never. By the 80s, people didn't do that. Okay. But it was, remember Paul Thomas Anderson's dad? Yeah. Who would do the ABC ads? They would do like, Sally thought it would be a good idea to go cross country. She thought wrong. The Angel Dust? Diary of a Teenage Hitchhiker at a Night at Night on ABC. Coming up next. but yeah they put the fair god in you with the after school specials and everything else it's a good scene obviously and it helps his character develop but I don't know of Allison for who she is for how pragmatic she is if she would have gotten in that car with that guy I think she's at her wits end though I mean they are in the great plains in that scene so like I don't know where she's going yeah I'm probably at this point it's aged the worst to travel 3 ,000 miles to get laid just because there are apps now yeah yeah he's just going on what site would he go on now Craig?

49:49not that I use them but Bumble Hinge, Tinder not that I use them that'd be a good sponsored segment Raya if you're really cool

49:58Bill Simmons:I don't think Gib's getting on Raya the Ruffalo Hanna Rubinick Partridge overacting word it's Cusack a couple times but I love it every time. Cusack the hitchhiker. Totally necessary Cusack the crazy hitchhiker. Totally necessary so do we retire the CR thinks Luke Wilson could have been Harrison Ford hottest take award and change it to the Rob Mahoney thinks smells like teen spirit sucks award I think it's is it time I'm willing to give it over yeah I think so is it time sure the categories could use a new coat of paint yeah so we call it the Rob Mahoney thinks smells like teen spirit sucked the whole time we should do a rewatchables hottest take like March Madness bracket oh like a clip show and then just have like All of the hottest takes, like the best 64 we've ever done and have them compete and see which one wins.

50:47My hottest take for, be it Rob Mahoney or the Luke Wilson, is that Gibb and Allison met just a hair too early to make it really work in their lives. It's just freshman year's tough, man. Freshman year, and for that to be the forever relationship, those guys are going to go through a lot of changes. They're going to discover a lot of new music. They're going to try some different drugs. You know, like it's about to get really coky out there in the 80s. you never know what's going to happen. And... Lemais hasn't died yet? I just don't really know if Gib is going to be able to, like, dial it in academically.

51:19I think they're supposed to be at, like, Cornell. You know, Allison's not going to not... I always thought Brown. But, yeah, Cornell could be, too. I think it's upstate New York that they're supposed to be in. But, yeah, it's a sad little truth. But I don't think Gib and Allison are a forever couple.

51:34Bill Simmons:I had this later for probably unanswerable. So I'll just do it now. I think it's going great. And I think he gets drunk one night and makes out with another girl and she never forgives him. And then at some point, campus police might have had to intervene because he kept showing up at a room at three in the morning. Over, under, sophomore, first semester that they make it to. You think they make it through that first summer? No. Really? I think they do. I think they make it through most of college and he starts to have the same crisis he has at the end of high school where he's like, I got to go on and be myself and do something else.

52:06I can't be with the same girl into my 20s. Do you think Lance remains a thorn in the side for the relationship, or has he become like...

52:13Bill Simmons:No, Lance is out. He marries a biologist. Yeah. I think Gib wins the intramural football championship, and he goes right to his head. Transfers to gambling? Yeah. Transfers to gambling. He hits the portal. My CR thinks Luke Wilson could have been Harrison Ford hottest take, which we're now retiring and naming after Rob Mahoney and smells like teen spirit hottest take award. I think Risky Business and The Sure Thing are the two best 80s teen movies with teen characters as their protagonists. Risky Business and The Sure Thing. Okay. I think they are the top two. I would have Breakfast Club third and I'd have Karate Kid fourth.

52:50Bill Simmons:You don't have... Is Bueller five? I think I would have Bueller five. Really? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Okay. That's... If I had to do Mount Rushmore, I'd have those as the four and then Bueller five. And Bueller versus Karate Kid's a good argument. I mean, Karate Kid's like, I don't know. I just think of it more as a sports movie than I do as a teen movie. All right, fair. I'll bump Karate Kid. Risky Business, Sure Thing, Breakfast Club, Ferris. Yeah. As of Mount Rushmore. I think that might be it for me. I'll move Karate Kid to the sports movie territory. Thank you. Yeah, all right. Casting What Ifs.

53:25Bill Simmons:You mentioned Anthony Edwards almost got the lead and then Cusack got the part. They moved him over. Robin Wright auditioned for the title role. Didn't get it. for Nicolai Sheridan's part. Filed it away for Princess Bride. To your point, or to our point, where we're like, if it's Robin Wright... If the movie doesn't work. Yeah. Because she's the most beautiful person who ever existed. It's unrealistic that she would be single for a minute and a half. It would also be like, thanks for the ride, Allison. I'll see you later. Yeah. Right. House and buy. I hope it works out with Boyd. I'm transferring.

54:00Good luck with that chin-rummy. Best That Guy award. Oh, there's a couple other casting with-ifs. Anthony Edwards was up for Gibb, as we said, and Mare winning him for Allison.

54:16Bill Simmons:Probably, Zuniga's probably better. Yeah, but you can see it in St. Elmo's Fire. You can see where they were coming from. I almost did that for my hottest take. Maybe I could do a second one. Go ahead. It's your pod. Daphne Zuniga, I think, should have been in the Brad Pack. I think she easily could have replaced Ally Sheedy and all the Ally Sheedy parts and I would rather I just would rather have her than Ally Sheedy just in general I think St. Elmo's Fire is better with her I think Breakfast Club is better with her so I would say I even think Bad Boys would be better with her there's a weird moment right at well that weird moment but it's like One Crazy Summer Demi Moore is is basically playing the Daphne Zuniga part it's the person that that Cusack's character is kind of with the whole movie yeah but is distracted from and then eventually realizes like I'm in love with this person right and I wonder how much of a Demi Moore career Daphne Zuniga could have had interesting well she ended up getting knocked up by her high school reunion guy and then fighting for custody with her in-laws season three best that guy the trucker Larry Hankin you know who the trucker is?

55:32Bill Simmons:No. Did you recognize, like, were you like, legendary 90s TV actor? Didn't recognize him. He played, uh, the cranky friend's neighbor who ended up dying. Oh. He also played Kramer's alter ego in the Seinfeld. The Bizarro episode. No. Was it the Bizarro episode or the one where they did the TV show about Seinfeld? I can't remember. I think it was that when they did the TV show. Oh, okay. And Kramer didn't get to play Kramer, but somebody else did. Right. I think that was Larry Hankin. It's been around for a long time. Carmen Flippi was, or Phil P was the bus station bum in The Homeless Man. In this movie, he was the preacher in Halloween 4.

56:10And he's in a bunch of Tim Burton movies. That's a good one. And he's in Wedding Singer. One more break and then we'll do DM Waiters. This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50-page restoration block or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online make sense?

56:37Bill Simmons:There's no place like Chrome. Check responses set up required. Compatibility and availability varies 18+. You thought this was your Run Club era. Turns out, it was more of a thinking about Run Club era. The good news? Someone's marathon training is about to start. Sell your workout gear on Depop. Just snap a few photos and we'll take care of the rest. They get their race day fit and you get a payout for trying. Someone on Depop wants what you've got. Start selling now. Depop, where taste recognizes taste. Dan Waiter's a word. You know, I checked, I do do a rewatchables mailbag or a mailbag for my pod or some sort of mailbag.

57:22Bill Simmons:Multiple people have pushed for this to be the Bill Paxton Award. instead of the Dion Waiters word. I'm not good with changing Dion Waiters. I think it's been 10 years at Dion Waiters. A core part of the philosophy of this pod. It's also funny that he's been out of basketball for five years. It's a real race to see who people know less, Dion Waiters or we own the city. You know? Wayne Jenkins? It might be Dion. Dion Waiters, the teacher, Vivica Linforce, Tim Robbins, Anthony Edwards as Lance or the short thing. I actually think it's the teacher. I think you're right Robbins is right behind them yeah Robbins is great take good care of himself why aren't you singing honey he's just he's kind of mad that they're not singing in the back recasting couch director of city I love everybody I wouldn't change a thing I maybe would identify the college campus and really go hard on like a Georgetown or a Brown or just so we know where we are but they didn't want to do that yeah it's like a year too late it would just be really it would be really fun if like Tom Cruise was Lance you know Rob Lowe could have been Lance I'm surprised he wasn't available I'm coming to you cordless

58:41Bill Simmons:Craig has a flex category I did the Rick Dalton can I just save it for picking nits yep half-assed earn at research some guy named Robert Bauer played the same character named Moke in this and Spinal Tap the scene when Gibb teaches Allison a shotgun of beer was added to the script because Cusack told Reiner this was one of his talents so I threw it in where'd it go Reiner said he shot at multiple colleges so it'd be a generic but obviously Ivy League or NESCAC time I will say I forgot to put this at what stage the worst is that now that I've lived in California for a little while like you can tell 90 % of the movie is shot in California even though it's a road movie.

59:23And you can be like, oh yeah, this is Stockton.

59:27Bill Simmons:Gibb is wearing the green and gold kangaroos jersey of an Australian National Rugby League team of that era. And they just, they gave it to him because they liked the way the jersey looked. But then I guess for the next 10, 20 years, people were mentioning it to Cusack. I just assumed that all t-shirts that John Cusack wears in John Cusack movies are John Cusack's t-shirts. Yeah. People were like, yo, kangaroos! He's like, what? Apex Mountain Cusack no Daphne Zuniga probably Spaceballs the next year how about Apex Mountain for whatever sexual position Gibbs roommate is pulling because I honestly we should have put him in DM waiters he was great I've never seen it before I don't even know what you would call it is that the spelunker like what's he doing he was the what do they call them skin crawlers or skin walkers he was like skin walker you believe in skinwalkers no I don't know what are skinwalkers it's on Instagram you can if you follow like any of those weird accounts they'll start serving you skinwalker stuff what are you talking about it's like it's like the wide shot of like there's like a security camera at a bank and like a skinwalker walks by it's like these little skeletons that walk weird they kind of look like long legs what does this have to do with the sexual position in the dorm room though because they have like their legs are backwards Bill what the fuck are you talking about I've never seen this you've never seen Skinwalkers no it's like an AI like bit obviously I'm following better Instagram accounts although I may be done with Instagram I'm tired of the AI I'm tired of getting fooled by the AI I saw one the other night of like I was pretty gripped by it I got hoodwinked with you got clanked people in like a yeah clanked a skyscraper pool like a pool that looks out over the And then the glass starts to break.

1:01:19And they were like, oh, it's AI. And I was like, fuck, dude. I was like, this is pretty good.

1:01:23Bill Simmons:I saw one where there was a fistfight at a game and the guy got punched and rolled down the stairs and went off the baseball stadium, like triple deck. Yeah, we would have heard about that. And I was like, I probably would have seen this on SportsCenter if this happened. Yeah, they would have let SportsCenter. Coming up next. Honestly, can you imagine if SportsCenter just became like the chive? And it was just like, it's like an incredible thing that happened. That's what they should do at SportsCenter. just do AI videos. Yeah, crowd fights. It's just ridiculousness. Instead, it's like, Saturday or Saturday.

1:01:54Bill Simmons:What do you got first, Jeff? I told Schrager he's got to do Peter's Pants. That could be his hook segment. Did he like that? It's time for Peter's Pants. Yeah. And then he has pants. Hannah Storm doing Skinwalker of the Week. Is a Skinwalker a real thing or a made-up name? This is kind of terrifying because he's like... I don't know, first of all, how you made that association. You were talking... His body was bent in a weird spot. Where did that phrase come from? What is a skinwalker? Oh, here's a skinwalker. Look at dogs barking at the skinwalker. Yeah, Bill, that's... They're like skeletons.

1:02:34Bill Simmons:That's a cartoon, man. I'm just telling you. It's on Instagram. I don't know what's going on. Oh, my God. Wait, I have more Apex Mountain. Skinwalkers. Yeah. Anthony Edwards, no. Did you say road trip movies? I was about to. Yeah. Road trip movies, no. Is it this or Green Book? No, it's Midnight Run. Green Book. We got to stop here. I'm doing some music. Hitchhiking? No. No. Shotgunning beers? Has it been done better? Has it been a more integral part of a movie plot than this? Do they shotgun beers at Animal House? Am I forgetting that? I like how they bring it back in this, where she does it in front of her boyfriend.

1:03:20Bill Simmons:It's really funny. I'm going to say yes. Nicola Sheridan, no, Desperate Housewives. She also does. She shotguns it in real life. I mean, she crushes that. She does a good job. Cold 45? Is he drinking beers just in this guy's car like at 10 in the morning? Yeah. That is pretty funny. I'd be pretty annoyed by that. 80s teen movies, no. Cruise or Hanks? I got Hank Spielberg for Cruise. I have Hank Spielberg as well. This would have been a good Tom Hanks movie. Although, you're right, Cruise easily could have been the Anthony Edwards part. Yeah. Talking to Cordless, buddy! What role would Philip Seymour Hoffman have played?

1:03:55Bill Simmons:I think it's Gibb's buddies. Oh, it's definitely Lance coming to you Cordless. And then when Gibb's like, I can't come, he's like, shut the fuck up! Shut up! Shut up! He'd be like, hey, Gibb, how's the peeping? um picket nets how did Gib actually get in the cowboy rapist truck he jumped in the the truck but how did the trucker not know I think he was more interested in taking off his wedding ring and stuff uh we talked about this but why is the sure thing so excited about meeting Gib yeah we don't know pretty sure she has makes no sense plans every night and then Lance completely bottles it by being like he's gay and a virgin yeah when when it's like Well, she was trying to, it was a ploy to make her feel bad for him.

1:04:41I guess. It's just such a weird move. The whole thing's a little weird. Was Lance a good friend? Well, it actually leads me to a possibly unanswerable question, which is, you know, in the beginning of the movie, Gibbs, like, I had sex six times in high school, sophomore and junior year mostly. And I'm like, you think he's lying? Do you think Gibbs is virgin? And that's why he's like, I'm willing to go all the way across the country to get laid.

1:05:03Bill Simmons:So he's doing the Niagara Falls area? Yeah. It's like, I had sex six times. Yes. But Lance seems to know that he had sex. Lance just seems to be taking his word for it, but I don't think he's interrogating it much. Because he seems to think Gibbs is in a slump. Yeah. Well, he's using all this astronomy pickup lines. I mean, start there. Yeah, outer space, it just never really worked. Yeah. But then we find out later. That's when friends went off the wheels a little bit when Ross was using that with Rachel. He took her to the astronomy, whatever, to try to get her. It's like, look at the stars.

1:05:37Oh, the observatory? No, but isn't it like the... Astronomy or whatever. Planetarium.

1:05:44Bill Simmons:The edit at the end is very 80s and corny. When she reads the essay, for some reason the class stops. Everybody just starts talking. It's just chaos in the class. And she comes up to him and it looks like they're about to kiss. And then it cuts to them on the roof about to kiss. Yeah. And it's just like... let him kiss i don't know yeah i don't know if that one worked i don't know if we had the technology in 1985 for the only thing liz and i were like oh i i think i could have i could have lived with another couple minutes like it ends so abruptly it's like this awesome resolution and they're on the roof they're kissing credits i could have like yeah had them exchange a couple lines or something but this is your rule but it's only 92 minutes like it could have been 94 if you give me a little i mean i feel like you build up all the way to this and then it ends it kind of cut you a little short.

1:06:33Was this your flex? Well, yes, that. And then a very small picking knits. I feel like Gibbs pajamas on this trip are fucking bizarre. Yeah. He's in like a really translucent, dirty, white cutoff that's like almost a V-neck. Yeah. And like thin capri gray sweats. It's kind of awesome. Really weird male pajamas. And she's like, jump on in bed. He also is like, how many clothes did he pack in that duffel bag?

1:06:59Bill Simmons:And he also has a nice suit to wear for dinner that's like perfectly ironed. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know how much, I don't know how he was able to pull that off. I could have, I could have gone with another like four minutes at the Hawaiian party. Yeah. Like we didn't need to just be immediately centered on him versus Allison. Like I could have met a couple other people. I was almost thinking this could be a Craig rewatchables category. How, how many movies, how many minutes should this movie have been exactly? Because Craig, it's never, he's never satisfied with the length. Do you know what though?

1:07:31Bill Simmons:Even when it's 90 minutes, he's like, I could have gone for another eight. The show could have been 10 minutes longer. I think this just needs a minute more at the end for the resolution. I just don't know what they need to do there. Because that's when I think you get into, like, it's the graduates. Like, now what with them? You know, like, this is a little bit more. Snow football game. We're real champions. That's right. It might even just have been the editing was so quick. Like, it was just, they really, like, get in and get out. Sequel, prequel, prestige TV, all black cast are untouchable.

1:07:56Bill Simmons:you know there there's like definitely a prestige tv kind of something that you could have pulled off with this i just don't know where it goes i was trying to think of the other day like if there are really good road trip tv shows that aren't like kung fu like there aren't like the whole point is like this person goes from town to town but how long could their road trip be before it would be like so could it be like seven episodes each day is its own episode that's a long time to be getting into hijinks i think maybe untouchable this is so perfectly paced where you think that they're on the road the whole movie, they don't get into Tim Robbins' car until the 31st minute.

1:08:33You get so much time in college getting the opposites part before they attract. It's really great.

1:08:39Bill Simmons:All black cast could have worked too. Is this movie better than Wayne Jenkins? And then you could have had the grambling thing really work. Is this movie better than Wayne Jenkins or everyone else we have in this category? I haven't done Brimley in a while. And I was just imagining what happens, like Allison and Gibb are together for a little while and then here's your Allison going down to the mailbox to get her latest copy of Granta or the Paris Review. What does she find instead? She finds heartache, Gibb. Another one of your letters to Penthouse has been published. Do you think Gibb gives up his, his like, you know, like he obviously wants, I know that's his roommate's letter, but do you think Gibb gives up like the writing letters to Penthouse even after him and Allison do the deed?

1:09:22Bill Simmons:Yes. Okay. I do. I had long legs picking them up when they're hitchhiking. Come on in the car, Allison. She's pretty much like, sure, whatever. I got to get out of here. It seems like you're fighting with that boy. Just one Oscar who gets it. Reiner? Reiner. Yeah, I think it's Reiner. Probably unanswerable questions. What kind of credit card bill was her dad looking at in January? So that dinner alone, granted, it's 85. A couple hotel rooms. Yeah. Some food on the way. 600 bucks in 1985? Yeah. Sounds good. And you think Gibbon Allison, you think they made it a year? I think that they maybe make it to first semester, sophomore year, but then it really starts to come apart.

1:10:16I think that's fair. That's when intramural football really kicks in a high gear for him.

1:10:21Bill Simmons:What piece of memorabilia would you want or not want from this movie? I would take the actual essay that closed the movie. Yeah, that's a good one. Whatever the written one would be cool. I would even take the one with the pepperoni stains on it. Yeah, either one. Coach Finstock Award. By the way, was that handwritten, that essay, right? Yeah, I think so. We should have put that in. What's the most 1985 thing about the movie? People handwriting their essays. Handwriting your words. I didn't see any word processors or typewriters or anything like that. Coach Finstock Award, Best Life Lessons. Next time, just take the bus the whole way?

1:10:47Well, I didn't get to this and probably answer questions. What's the return trip plan? Because Gibbs is like, I'm broke. I can't fly. So if he's in LA, what's the plan to get back to class in time to start taking tests? He's borrowing money from Lance.

1:11:04Bill Simmons:Yeah. Okay. Who's at that point has become one of the best madams in Hollywood. He's investing in the Clippers. Best double feature choice. I had Stand By Me. I have one crazy summary. Oh. Yeah. I like it. And then, who won the movie? It's probably Cusack, but we'll say Reiner. let's say Reiner. For this one. Any last thoughts, Greg? I agree with you. This and Risky Business are probably my two favorite teen movies that I've never seen before. So good. Well, we haven't done Sacred Admire yet. I'll be interested to see how that resonates with you. This is great. Yeah. Maybe this will inspire somebody to just pay for the music and have this stream again.

1:11:45It's the lost Rob Reiner classic. I really can't tell what the deal is here. I guess it must be the soundtrack.

1:11:52Bill Simmons:That's it. RIP, Rob Reiner. We're going to miss you. Good to see you, man. Thanks, CR. Thanks, Craig. Thanks, Gahal. See you next time on the Rewatchables.