Hour 1: Week 1 NFL Power Rankings, Comedian Bill Burr Fires Up the Studio

22:42Rich Eisen:What did you think of it? You loved it, Rich. You loved it, Rich Eisen. I did not. I did not. I did not. As a matter of fact, I enjoyed watching that first drive. You know who played for the University of North Carolina and nobody even saw it happen? Lawrence Taylor. He played there for four years. Nobody even, and then all of a sudden he was on the Giants. It's like, oh my God, who is this guy? Where did he come from? Oh! North Carolina. Yeah, that's a basketball school. Yeah, and Michael Jordan was there. Can't you let a man enjoy his retirement? He's not retired, though. Can't the man just go to North Carolina?

23:11He dealt with New England winters for 20 years. Can't he just go down there? He's saying we're moving on to Charlotte. Have a good time with his girlfriend. do you want to chime in on that one just because we've never won a super bowl and you know maybe you're miserable in your relationship you just gotta attack this guy 360 i'm not attacking you in north carolina he's having a good time he's got himself he's on campus yeah he's on campus he's back he's like one of those freaky friday movies he's down there with jamie lee curtis nothing that happens at the university of north carolina is going to affect what happened in the

23:51Rich Eisen:nfl you can try to make that be something no i and there are other shows talking about what happens in north carolina could affect his legacy and i think that's absurd here today you remember emmett smith on the phoenix cardinals the phoenix cardinals what happened Terrible. I mean, I just don't think he has the passion anymore. I think, isn't that where he broke Walter Payton's record, though? No. He did not break Walter Payton's record. He was over 16 ,000 yards, though. I remember when Tony Dorsett went to the Denver Broncos, and I have to tell you. That's what Belichick on the sidelines of North Carolina means to you.

24:30He gave the guy one game. I know, but. You're sitting there falling all over yourself to get on the good side of Arch Manning. it was only one gang keep your head up there kid you got a senior citizen who goes south to retire and you're just you're kicking his cane out from underneath him you know you played a nice guy Rich but I'm telling you the more I do this show the more I see Richard I don't see Rich anymore you're down to earth yeah just call me Rich that's right okay excuse me

25:02Rich Eisen:I don't believe I just asked you what he thought You're a big Patriot fan. You're seeing what happened in the first game. That's not why you asked me and you know that. You guys have been doing this forever. You were doing this while we were winning Super Bowls. I know that. And I had no problem with that. Was the football a little lighter? I mean, it was pathetic. It was pathetic. Now, that was ridiculous at the time. And I said it at the time. And I'm saying it again. I'm saying it now. That was one of the great false flags of all time. There was like a, how many people is that report? Let's move on.

25:38Rich Eisen:Let's move on. Why don't we talk about something positive? Which is? The Boston Red Sox. Okay. The whole team is like this side at 25. They're fun as hell to watch. Yeah. You know, we could maybe make the wild card. Maybe we don't, but we're moving in the right direction. You're definitely making the wild. I think right now the only question is where is the series against the Yankees? Is it in Fenway Park or is it in Yankee Stadium? Oh, you think so? Yeah, that's where it is in the stand. unless the Yankees or the Red Sox catch the Blue Jays, which would be possible, I guess. For some reason, they're only like three and a half games, four games in front of us, but it seems like 10.

26:12It's like when I watched that Ohio State game, their defense was so good. When Texas was down 7-0, it felt like 17-0. They were stacked. I tell you, when you got the money, and you throw it around the right way. You're talking about Ohio State? I'm talking about college football now. I'm talking about that quarterback you guys got from LSU. That's what I'm talking about. You guys, you're on my side here. I know, but I... No, because you came at me with the Belichick thing. I asked you what you thought. I got here. I didn't even drink a coffee. And then you offered me that garbage. And then you immediately come at me with Bill Belichick.

26:50And it's just like...

26:53Rich Eisen:I did see you in the green room. And I did say, listen, I think I'm going to ask you about... Let me tell you something. When you came to go see me in New York, that was a different Rich Isaac. Wow. And that same guy. Wow. And all of a sudden, you know, Rich needs tickets to see me do Taming the Shrew or whatever. He's all nice. He's got on his penny loafers. And then you get him in his own house. Oh, my God. What happened? Yeah, you saw Broadway, Rich. You know what? That best dad ever. I've always felt that was a red flag. You know? If you're the best dad ever, do you need to advertise it? That's a good point.

27:25It's a gift from my children. I'm walking in just to remind you. My dad is amazing. Well, it's the gift they gave me, and it just keeps giving. I'm going to buy you one that says best takes in all of sports media. Done. Right there.

27:38Rich Eisen:I will take it. I will take that. And you were, by the way. That's how far into his ego he is. He didn't even realize it was a joke. No, no, no. I like that. I agree with that. You were great on Broadway, Bill. Was I? I don't like how you said that. You were great. You were great. It was awesome. And, you know, you and Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross. He didn't call you solid, so that's good. Yeah, I hate that word, by the way. Solid. Solid. Like if I told you, hey man, that was a solid performance. Yeah. That's not great. Yeah, it's not bad. You were great on Broadway. It was an outstanding production.

28:07Rich Eisen:It was a wonderful night. You know what? You were solid. It was a solid night. How was Belichick? Was Belichick solid? No, he definitely was not. Oh, no. Most certainly not. He's got, he's got, he was more liquid. He's definitely more liquid. I love how you take me asking you that question as an attack. You barely said hello. You came in and you got the handshake out of the way and it was like right into Belichick. I'm like, oh man, this guy's loaded for bear today. Bill Burr here. What happened? Did one of the great Celtics from the 60s pass away today? Do you want to bring that up too? Is everyone okay?

28:45Rich Eisen:I haven't checked. Everyone's fine. Here's one I looked up the other day. What did you look up? The most yards passed all time in a college football career. Okay. Case Keenum. get out of here University of Houston and then went undrafted he did threw for 20 ,000 yards and they said we don't respect your division you're 6 '1 and you know you're playing in a spread offense and they didn't draft him and he's 37 he's still playing in the league he instantly and he was also in the Minnesota Miracle that's right yeah immediately he took the Vikings to the NFC Championship game I love a journeyman quarterback you do they always got a nice tan they don't have they don't have like a lot of concussions like Steve DeBerg.

29:27Steve DeBerg. He was the magnum PI. He was the magnum PI of the NFL. The guy played like 38 seasons. Yeah, I know. He was pristine. But the thing was, for 38 seasons,

29:40Rich Eisen:probably like 20 seasons, he was always ready to go. Right. And of course, you know, you wound up having the greatest backup quarterback in the history of the National Football League, Tom Brady. You got him going out there. I always would have said it was Steve Young. Well, I mean... Joe Montana and Steve Young in the same team. I don't think I've ever seen that. That's true. That's true. But I mean, Brady is the greatest. I know that was hard. Brady is the greatest backup quarterback in the history of the National Football League. To go from backup, once upon a time, you're the backup. You didn't get drafted.

30:10Rich Eisen:You're not starting right off the bat. But was he a backup? Oh, hell yeah. Drew Brees still got a$100 million contract. He was more of a rookie, right? Well, he's year two. He didn't play at all. Oh, all right. Yeah, man. You could put Drew Brees on that list also. You could do that. That's not a bad... Why are you looking up who's got the most passing yards in the history of college football? Because, you know, I have depression issues, and I need a distraction. And somehow, like, sports numbers. By the way, you know, because they're amazing and they don't really mean anything. You're the second all-time college passing yards?

30:39Rich Eisen:Do you know? Or do you even look that up? No, but I was surprised. But if you notice, like, everybody that has the record now is really, like, from now because of how the game has become so offensive friendly. Dylan Gabriel is second. Oh. the current backup quarterback in Cleveland? Correct. Right now. Okay. Sitting in a red roof inn being like, how many yards do I have to throw? How many yards do I have to throw to get a shot? 60-something thousand, not enough. Okay, good to know. 18 ,722. How about that? So Arch Manning can do it. See, I told you. How hard is it to say Arch and not Archie? It's terrible.

31:17Rich Eisen:I almost say Archie every damn time. Yeah, it's really difficult. I know. I got to write it down to make sure I'm not doing anything stupid. We have a sports etiquette question for you. Okay. Do we have a photograph of this gentleman? We saw this over the weekend. What do you do with this guy? Oh, the whole game? Who stands right there in front of you. The whole game. It looked like there's nobody else up. What do you do about this, Bill? You tell your daughter not to marry him because that's a full-on narcissist. he's actually making the game about himself like he's setting himself apart from everybody else to let everybody else know that that you know that when he yells let's go he really means it that happened to me at the rose bowl last time i went to the rose bowl this guy was hammered out of his mind i was just like dude are you gonna sit down at any point during the game and he just shook his head no and then he had some sort of like tube apparatus for like the alcohol that he had in his pocket and he like he like offered it what because he was a fan did he recognize you no he was hammered so but you did say something yeah good for you some people don't i didn't say buddy what i didn't i didn't come in like i asked i just said i just said can i just go are you gonna are you gonna sit down at all during the game yeah and like it was funny because he was hammered so it was really like slow motor he was just like just shook his head i mean i probably You could have just gone.

32:46You could have shut him over. You could have sat him down for him. No, you can't do that, dude. That's how you get a manslaughter charge. That happens all the time. Just stay away. Dads fight other dads. Somebody always falls back and hits the head and they die. And then that's it.

33:02Rich Eisen:So that's where you leave him alone. You just say something. In one of those white-collared gyms. Not gyms, jails. Sorry. They look like gyms with Bernie Madoff. all because you you touch somebody when they were drunk um so okay you said did the person sit down at all or they stood no they they stood up for the whole game it became amazing after a while like how much alcohol they were taking in and they just never went down ever you know what do you what about uh another thing that's a pet peeve of ours is wearing a jersey to a game of a team that's not playing in that game do you have a problem with that bill burr i i don't i don't i have a problem with people wearing jerseys to games you're not playing yeah okay okay like and then like you the more you dress up and all of that i i like and every team having like 58 different jerseys it just gets to the point the whole thing i just can't you know this is our third jersey our fourth jersey this is our father's day jersey this is our support the troops jersey it's like you're not supporting the troops you're making money that's what you're doing stop acting like you're doing this stuff so i i uh i when i when i go to games out here i dress neutral because la fans are you can get hurt out here they're insane they always talk about philly oh they threw snowballs at santa claus these people out here are crazy they're crazy yes so end up with brain damage if you have like the i mean that's happened so it's just like all right man you know like i used to wear like my red socks at the yankee stadium and like i would get a ton of crap but like once they saw i was cool and i wasn't being a dead that's as far as it went and we kind of went like back and forth and blah blah blah blah and then eventually if the other yankee fan was cool we'd be like you know i always like jim rice we would talk about players that we liked it would go to there out here it just it doesn't it it is an underrated angry place and then it gets it gets worse and then it spills out that happened to be like a chargers game i wore patriots hat it was the chargers versus the call i think i told this on this i was rooting for the chargers and all of a sudden wearing a patriot hat dude security had to come up get out of here so so then you but why would you wear a patriot hat to just a a game that the patriots are not in and that was the hat i had i wasn't even thinking i wasn't thinking and i just had it on and i was thinking then and i also I didn't understand how much the Chargers fans hated the Patriots.

35:24I didn't look at them like any sort of rival because we always beat them, like the Steelers. Like the Steelers hate us, and we always beat them, so I don't think anything like that.

35:34Rich Eisen:Talk about being unaware of your surroundings. Yeah, people don't like the Patriots because they pretty much took care of everybody. They settled every piece of family business. I know, but you guys were all babies about it, and all you did was say that we cheated, and you never even owned up to it. And now you didn't own up to it when they were great. And now that everybody's like 90 years old, you see him zoom his wheelchair down the hill? No, I missed that. What do you think of the current Patriots season? What do you like? You think you're good? I don't think it started yet. So I don't know how people sit there in their fantasy leagues and they watch preseason where there's like a hundred team roster.

36:12And they feel like they have any. I think the coaches know what's going on. but I as a stand-up comedian, two kids under 10, I have no clue. I'm hearing good things, but I watched them way back when they had Paul Revere on their helmet. I'll always watch them.

36:27Rich Eisen:Pat the Patriot. That's the good stuff, man. Pat the Patriot, yeah. Yeah, when Steve Grogan and his big-ass neck would wear that thing. Oh, yeah. Even with a neck brace, he still had at least like two feet of neck exposed. I've always argued that guy is arguably the toughest guy. Grogan? whoever played uh just the how long he took those hits for how long he would hold the ball but you also have to anybody who played quarterback for the eagles during those veteran stadiums because everybody like talks about like how that was just like playing on concrete yeah yeah yeah like jaws ron jaworski all those guys back in the day no doubt about it yeah uh bill burr dropped dead years um congrats on the two emmy nominations do we know who you're going against in these categories or you don't pay attention i forget but i saw everybody is is great so i i wouldn't mind you know if if i don't win it it's all right well we are we are we're experts if i don't win it then i don't have to show that i didn't do my homework because we are experts in saying it's it's an honor to be nominated um so if you need that help we can help you with that um for sure outstanding variety special outstanding picture editing for variety programming you shot it in seattle uh now and you turned it into a streaming album what what do you know about that yes okay i'm sure i am aware of that yeah well what they do is then they put it in audio form okay so then you can also uh it would be completely tone deaf yes and not even play a musical instrument but you can still be considered for a grammy okay look at this are you going for an egot man let's go you can do this yeah you've now got Broadway Chops.

38:00Rich Eisen:I haven't won any of them. When Broadway Rich showed up. No, no, you gotta start chipping away. I love it. So what are the nominees? Yeah, so it's Outstanding Variety Special pre-recorded. Adam Saylor, Ali Wong, Bill, obviously, Conan O 'Brien, Sarah Silverman, and Nate Bergetz. Dude. Yeah, I'm not winning that. Why not? Why not? Let me tell you something right now. I am not writing anything. Come on, dude. Conan, Adam, Ali, come on. Yeah, and you. I am huge fans of all of them. And you know what's great, too, is they're all great people, too. That's great. Well, I don't know. I feel a good vibe.

38:36Rich Eisen:It's called a Rich Eisen Show bump. So, you know, when people come on here, we leave them in a better place. I like that. Excellent. What happened? What's with the bracelet there? Did you go to camp? No, this isn't.

38:52Rich Eisen:It's actually from Nantucket. It's Nantucket. I have not seen one of those. $4.99 at the sunken show. $4.75. That's so true. It's just$4.99 at the sunken ship right near the juice bar. You put it on, then somehow they shrink it, right? That's right. And then it doesn't come off. That's right. There you go. Thanks for noticing. It's from your neck of the woods. No wonder you noticed it. At Bill Burr, at Wilford Burr on Instagram. You're the best, man. Thanks for coming on. All right. Well, thank you very much for having me. Anytime. Are you kidding me? All right. This is fantastic. You started off rocky the way you know.

39:25It did start rocky. Is everything all right in your personal life? I started fine.

39:30Rich Eisen:I was just asking you about a sports headline, Bill. I literally told my wife, I love doing the Rich Eisen show. This guy, you know, we vibe. This guy loves me. And then, oh, whoa. Just loaded. Then I asked him about a Monday night football game. Oh, and then I was offered Starbucks. I mean, this, this, this. Listen, I've had better times. Okay, so I'm not going to judge the whole show. I'm kidding. You know I love you guys. I love you guys. Bill Burr, everybody. All right, thank you. Thank you very much. On the Rich Eisen show. We'll be back with more in a moment here on Disney +, ESPN, and ESPN Radio.

40:03Rich Eisen:All back.

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41:14Rich Eisen:The Rich Eisen Show, the podcast. Back on Rich Eisen Show simulcast right now on Disney Plus and also our friends at ESPN and ESPN Radio. Presented by Progressive Insurance. Want to tell you about the Hyundai Palisade Hybrid. It is an incredible SUV. It's all new. What makes it so great? Is it the spacious interior that's comfy for the whole crew? the capability to go off-road. Maybe it's up to 600-plus miles of range. 600-plus miles of range. Maybe it's the driver behind the wheel. I think you know these are all, it sounds like, rhetorical questions. Of course, it's all that and more. The all-new Hyundai Palisade Hybrid.

42:02Rich Eisen:So much more than just another SUV. Visit HyundaiUSA.com or call this number. Get a pen, everybody. 562-314-4603 for more details. That's 562-314-4603. How funny is Bill Burr? My God. My sides are hurting me right now. It's like you're going to massage. Broadway Rich. Oh, my God. Broadway Rich. I mean, that was. That I'm a different guy. You act different on Broadway Rich. What did he get? Like, I'm doing Taming of the Shrew. Yeah, yeah. That's what you were doing, Bill. By the way, you know, the modern Shakespeare in David Mamet. Yeah. It was a very faithful rendition of Glenn Gary Glenn Ross when Broadway Rich was there.

42:47Rich Eisen:I'm referring to myself in the third person. Let's go to Bernardo in Santa Clarita, California, who has some, I guess, advice for me. Bernardo, what advice do you have for me? Go Blue Rich. First of all, thank you. Right back at you. well uh if i may be so bold um i have some advice for you for when you go to brazil specifically to sao paulo there is a saying that basically means that's crazy bro anytime something exciting happens and it's specific to sao paulo so if you were to say or local meal it would blow everyone's minds it would make you a legend you wouldn't pay for a thing in sao paulo while you were there okay now okay what am i saying because there is inevitably spell us out on friday night going to be something totally crazy that happens in the game and it would be i think fitting for me to say it so you're not giving me like something i'm not cursing to the youtube global the direct translation basically means that's crazy dude okay that's crazy dude means so what am i local means like that's crazy and in in sao paulo they They call each other meal, which means mine directly translated.

44:00But it's the way they say dude or bro.

44:02Rich Eisen:All right. And this is not great for radio or television, asking someone to spell something. But so spell it for me. How am I saying it? What am I saying? I'll sort of do it phonetically. Oh, like O-H. Okay. Loco. Oh, loco. Meo. And it's like mayo, but make it one syllable. Just meal. Meo. Meo. O loco meal. Perfect. O loco meal. Or local male. And if you say that, the three people literally are going to be like, this guy's one of us. One of us. And I want to be one of you. I had no idea. I had no idea I wanted to be one of you, but now I do. The best thing about us, though, is it's about us. I'm glad to help however I can.

44:41One Michigan man to another. One sad Jets fan to another.

44:45Rich Eisen:Dylan O 'Brien's coming in at hour number three, and we'll talk about Elijah Veritaker being potentially significantly hurt. Only the Jets. Only the Jets, Bernardo. Thanks for the call, Bernardo and Santa Clarita, giving me a loco mayo. A loco mayo. A loco mayo? Mayo. A loco mayo. Not like Cinco de Mayo. A loco mayo. Yeah, a loco mayo. Like one syllable. A loco mayo, but one syllable. So you know what I mean? Like something crazy happens. Inevitably in a football game. Like Kelsey tries like a backward pass again, like he did against the Bills. That's the Portuguese Dick Enberg, oh my. Right? Portuguese Dick Enberg.

45:25Rich Eisen:Write it down. That's what I'm going to say. Too late for alongside Kurt Warner. I'm the Portuguese. Dick Enberg. Next year, you could use that. What do you think? Early 2026 fantasy dance. Portuguese Dick Enberg. That's Portuguese. It's what it is. A loco mayo. A loco mayo. It's like one syllable. Because I'm looking up the English to Portuguese translation, and it's saying iso e locura car but he's saying this is specific to local slang so I'm just making sure we're not you're not going to get caught up in the mix you know how New Yorkers and Massachusetts people have different accents I imagine this is I would feel more comfortable if we got one more person in Portuguese just to verify that before we send you off we need another Sao Paulo do you think Bernardo Fella of Michigan man is leading me down a river here I don't want to make this ESPN grand opening in a grand closing.

46:23Rich Eisen:You know what I mean? I want to make sure you're right. Okay. That's all. I appreciate that. I appreciate that. I appreciate that under the bus. TJ. No, no, no. As they say in wherever, good looking out. Thank you. Thank you. My brother. That's what I'm saying. Look at us. I want to send you down there and get you caught up in the mix. Because if this didn't mean what it'd say, I mean, a loco mayo, that would be bad. The Ridge Eyes and Show Podcast. You know when you're locked in, focused, and fearless. Welcome to the WNBA. Your vision narrows. You can't look away. Every assist, every stop, every logo three.

47:04From beyond the logo. Every did you see that moment. You bet.

47:10Rich Eisen:What records are going to be broken this season? All of it right here. Lock in. It's the WNBA on ESPN. All season long.