Hour 3: Overreaction Tuesday, Seahawks-49ers Predictions, plus Comedian Kumail Nanjiani In-Studio

24:37Rich Eisen:Right now, get five quarts of Valvoline full synthetic motor oil and a Wix filter for$35.99 and receive a$15 O 'Reilly gift card after rebate. Upgrade to a Wix XP oil filter for just$2 more. Limits apply. See store for details. Stop by your local O 'Reilly Auto Parts store or shop online at OReillyAuto.com. The Rich Eisen Show podcast. Back here on The Rich Eisen Show with our radio audience along with Disney Plus and ESPN. The app. New comedy special. We just saw a clip. Kumail Nanjiani, Night Thoughts available now streaming on Hulu. It is Golden Globe nominated and you filmed it at the Vic Theater in Chicago.

25:19Rich Eisen:That's right. great spot if you see you see little baby bagel in that corner we added her to all right like well this is really like a tribute to her the vic theater the reason i talk about this in the special i opened for zach galifianakis there um when why did you ask that what kind of question is that if you know it was around it was so it was so close to 2007 that it was exactly in 2007 okay Yeah. So basic math. It's 18 years ago, but I opened for Zach there. Right. And I was like, someday I'll headline this place. So, you know, I didn't do standup for like 10 years when I started up again in the actor's strike.

26:02I got enough material. I was like, I want to do a special. Right. There was no question. I was like, I have to do the Vic. Right. Because they, I used to go there all the time too. They used to have this thing called Bruin View where they'd show a movie and people would get really drunk. And one of the best experiences I had was I watched, the first Fantastic Four movie, the one that came out, you know, a long time ago. And there was a guy in the audience who every three minutes would yell, that's fantastic.

26:32And the response he got, nothing in my hour of stand-up got the response this guy got. Every time he yelled, that's fantastic.

26:39Rich Eisen:I mean, it's kind of like, what, the Letterman style of comedy that you say something over and over and over again, and then you start beating it to death. I imagine like the ninth time he did it. Yeah. Even funnier than the first. Well, because then you got to time it. How long are you going to wait before you say it? Do people think you got to wait until like people think it's done. He's moved on. And then he comes back with it. Oh, man. That is so funny. I love it. That's fantastic. And the, I guess the poster for it, which is you in bed with a standup mic and a spotlight on you with a pillow behind you.

27:11Rich Eisen:Because night thoughts. that's basically me almost every night um where i'm waking up two three in the morning and it's that's when i come up with my ideas for this show more than not so for you it's good though the well i mean i'd love to be able to sleep between you know going to sleep yeah and waking up would love to just stay asleep that would be awesome that would be but those days are kind of over for me right so you used you used to be able to sleep through and now you don't absolutely what do you I think that is because I have the same. I think I getting older, I think. And then waking up, waking up.

27:44Rich Eisen:It's tough to just not turn my brain on, like not to have like thinking that. All right, I'm on now. Yeah. Like I got to start thinking of what, you know, what am I going to say on the show the next morning? Are you taking notes then? I try. I don't wake up and actually write stuff down. Yeah. I make mental notes and hope that that's me counting sheep and I go back to sleep. Yeah. For me, the most like a lot of stuff I've written was in the middle of the night. No kidding. But then I also go into spirals of like, you know, worrying about random things. Like what? Well, some are big. So I talk about them in the special.

28:17But one of the new ones that kept me up was like, do bears poop and pee when they're hibernating? Or do they like get up to do it?

28:26Rich Eisen:Huh. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Okay. They don't. Oh, you looked up the actual answer. I looked it up. There's a phrase. It's not the phrase that came up. Yes. It's not dirty. Can I say it? Sure. Go ahead. Fecal plug. Definitely not dirty. That's a good fantasy. That's the name of my fantasy team. As a matter of fact, that is in fact, that's a new fantasy team name right there. One of those weeks you kind of grabbed it. All right. So that's the Bears. Not the Chicago Bears, right? We're not referring. We're referring to actual animals. They're having regular BMs. The Chicago Bears. Anna Williams is so regular right now, man.

29:07It's not funny. But go ahead. Sorry. They make something out of their bedding. What? Yeah. And then, you know, I mean, it would be great, though, if you're like, you know what? I'm going to take this pillow, put it somewhere, and I'll see you in June. That would be amazing.

29:33okay so that's one thought that's one and then also you know is my door locked sure not you know

29:39Rich Eisen:what am i gonna do if somebody comes in like you don't then get up and you're not to that point where you're checking locks i check my alarm and make sure it's red that that one i understand oh yeah oh the alarm on the wall i thought you meant you make sure that if you got to get up the next morning you set your phone alarm no well that i check a hundred times okay but no i just look at the the red light is on okay sure which just means you know if someone's coming in i'm gonna wake up and then i guess hide while they go through all my stuff i got i got nothing to fight back like what do you mean you're swole like what do you mean you do have things i say this is a special these muscles are decorative they don't do anything all they can do is pick up a weight 10 times and put it down they they're not functional like i can't really do anything with you can't huh scare people with those muscles yeah i i guys i can barely move

30:36you're giving away your secrets these are completely pointless i mean i guess in an arm wrestle if the robber comes in and is like let's arm wrestle and if you win i'm leaving i guess that's okay or like let's bench see who's got more i guess that would be acceptable but other than that no i i've never been in a i've never been in a fight have you ever been in a

30:57Rich Eisen:fight i was in a fight for two seconds what does that mean um i got sucker punched oh my god when was that i mentioned this on the air and the guy actually hurt not last week no i actually mentioned this on the air well how many years ago did i mention it on the air oh yeah if you and the guy called in. The guy called in. His name was Bennett Hirshhorn. Trails End Camp. You got punched by a guy named Bennett Hirshhorn? I got knocked out. Sir, I don't know if you can see, I got a little bit of a scar right here because I was wearing braces in Trails End Camp. I don't remember what it was, but I do remember the right fist came from uppercut just smacked me over.

31:34Rich Eisen:Done. Oh yeah, everywhere. You were out. Oh yeah, I was out and I got stitches the whole thing. That's the only fight that's the only fisticuffs i've ever been i would leave the guy's name out because it doesn't sound like a not really oh i'm sorry it was mike tyson it was jake paul yeah there it is oh my god better yeah you ever been in a fight i've never been in a fight i've never been in a physical fight i say this in the special because i'm very good at apologizing like when i got buff i would have for the first time guys kind of stepping to me like they would they would kind to try and pick fights and i was like what is what is this new vibe that i'm getting from men and emily my wife was like oh they're like threatened by you and they want to like size you up yeah they want to size me up uh at the gym at at like bars and stuff and i'm just like i don't i don't want to suddenly people who are never taking attack postures with you suddenly were because they saw how swole you are and wanted to test it out or something like i don't know Is there a pheromone that goes out there?

32:38I think there's some, like, ancient thing that happens. And they're like, you know, I'm the alpha. You're not the alpha. And I'm like, yes, you are correct. You are the alpha. I just want to eat my spaghetti with Tylenol.

32:50Rich Eisen:Ladies and gentlemen. Because your back's certain. Well done, Johnny. Night Thoughts available now for streaming on Hulu. It has been Golden Globe nominated. So you sit down and you tell me a story that I'd love to hear about. you were on a plane with who back in the day and this was a few years it was the year that they ended up winning with sean mcveigh the rams yeah with the that's 2021 yeah and matthew stafford was it yeah it would have been 2021 or they just won okay so they were like they had the two because they were still together the next year right they're still together right now yeah yeah and it was just the three of us on a plane because it was for a different project for hulu so they you know they got us a they got us a plane all right look at you yeah you got the you got the disney jet huh i think they got the disney jet and they were like if you want to hop on there's a there's a okay so you're on a jet it's you sean mcveigh matthew stafford it's just the three of were you heading to disney world like after the super bowl we were going for the up front you know okay yeah the hulu up front for a tv show i was doing back then and so i just talked to these Because I don't, you know, I'm not a big like football guy.

34:01Like I know some of the names I met. My dad, for some reason, got really into the Chiefs at some point. Okay. And he was like, that Peter Malone, he can really throw a football.

34:15Different initials. You know, I get it. Yeah, he likes Peter Malone.

34:18Rich Eisen:Okay, Peter Malone. Yeah. But it was really fun talking to them because they wanted to know about like what acting and writing was like. And I wanted to know. And it turned out there was a lot of overlap in the ways that we both approached our jobs. Because there is structure, but then you've got to be able to adjust on the fly with acting. You know your lines, you know what you want to do, but then you're waiting for some magical thing to happen. Same with football, right? Because you have your play, and then you're sort of looking for how to surprise people. Yes. And, oh, that's not happening, that's not happening.

34:52Oh, I'm going to run with all that stuff being very present. Like there's, it's very similar to acting and standup.

34:57Rich Eisen:So you and Matthew Stafford were finding common ground on this. Yeah, that's right. That's right. It was a great conversation. I really liked those. Really liked both those guys. Okay. Yeah. All right. They were great. That's pretty cool. Yeah. I think a private jet. Who else have you met? I'm, I did meet Peter Malone. The genuine article. I took a picture with him, a selfie and send it to my dad. He was very impressed because I did this, you know, Paul Rudd does this charity. Oh yeah. Big Slick. You did Big Slick. I did Big Slick a couple of years ago. So you must have met Travis Kelsey there.

35:30I met Travis Kelsey. I hung out with Travis Kelsey. He's a great guy. Really great guy. I actually hung out with him. He's a great dude. He really is and he's fun. Mahomes didn't go to the after party. Him and his wife went home. But Trav hung out. We hung out. I haven't texted him but I do have his number. Oh, look at you. I'm not going to abuse it. I think we should FaceTime him right now. FaceTime him right now. I think that's a great idea. But yeah, we hung out one night and he was really fun. He had just visited the White House. Oh. So that was fun to talk about.

36:07Rich Eisen:You only hang with the football players after they win the Super Bowl. That's what I'm picking up right now. That's right. Listen, you could fly with McVay. You could fly with Stafford. But only after they win the Super Bowl. You have standards. I got a high bar, man. I don't want to just. Up here. Yeah. Right up here. Yeah, that's exactly right. But, you know, I'm open with them. I'm like, I still watch cricket all the time. Like, I'm still watching cricket constantly. But doesn't, again, I'm sorry if I'm sounding ignorant, but doesn't cricket take days? Well, okay. So one of the formats does.

36:40It's a five-day game. But imagine that. A five-day game? But, Rich, imagine. How fun is it to watch a football? How long does a football game last? Like three hours? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Imagine that for five days. How exciting is that? You wake up in the morning. You're having lunch. The match is going. At night, you wake up the next day. It's still going. It's so fun. It's so exciting. Australia, England just had a five-day match that ended up being over in two days. What happened? You want me to really tell you? Yeah, because somebody had to go home or something? No, no. So basically, you play until all the players get out, right?

37:18So in baseball, once the player's out, they come back. In cricket, they don't. So until the players are out. So now in cricket, it's different. I'll just explain this to you very quickly. There's a pitch that they make that the ball has to bounce off of, right? So the quality of the pitch is really going to affect the match. If the pitch has grass on it, the ball's moving around more. If the pitch is dry, you know, the ball is bouncing differently. It's spinning differently. It's moving differently off the pitch. and they made a pitch that just ended up being really difficult for batters to bat on.

37:49You know, in baseball, I don't know, you tell me, how much does the weather affect like pitching? Quite a bit. You know, if it's humid or it's cold. All that stuff, right? Of course, yeah, yeah. Now imagine with that, there's also the added layer of this, the thing that it's bouncing off of. And now, you know, based on the soil that they use, like Pakistan-India pitches are slower because our soil is more conducive to that. In Australia and New Zealand, the pitches are bouncier. So you have to really adjust to all that. So there's like a lot of, and once the pitch is made, you cannot do anything to it for the five days they play.

38:23So day one, they were like, oh, we made a bad one. And then they couldn't do anything about it. And then it becomes like a completely different kind of game. So I was bummed out. I thought I would have five days of a game, but I only got two full days out of it.

38:36Rich Eisen:So if we covered cricket here, I would come on and start this show complaining about the pitch. Is that what I would do? Is there like complaints, overreaction? Oh, my God. Hot takes? Are there cricket hot takes? Yes, of course there are cricket hot takes. I mean, you know, it's the entire world. Give me a cricket hot take that everyone else would understand. We might not. Well, the big thing that they're talking about right now is that pitch because you want to hit the balance. If the pitch is too easy, then people aren't getting out. The score is too high. And cricket is following the same thing that, say, basketball is following where scores are getting higher, right?

39:12Like the average score is so much bigger. In the 90s, if you get to like 80, 90, that's pretty good. Now they're going to what, 130, 140, right? Yeah, sure. Yeah. Same thing is happening in cricket. All right. The scores are going up because the pitches are getting easier and the hot take is pitches are getting too easy. But in Australia, then they made a pitch that's too difficult. And so... An outrage. That's an outrage. I would be outraged by that. Yeah, I was outraged. The other thing is, you know, cricket is a gentleman's sport. You're not supposed to get into any altercation. There's no brawls?

39:44There's no... No, you're not supposed to have brawls. You cannot complain to the umpire. You get fined immediately. Like in basketball, every foul, no basketball player has ever committed a foul, right?

39:54Rich Eisen:So LeBron would never be able to play cricket, is what you're saying. No, he'd have to tone it down. He'd have to tone it down. No, they're like very like, you know, it's all proper. And so if somebody gets angry, if two players get into it, that becomes a really big thing. the most recent drama was when India and Pakistan played the India team refused to shake hands with the Pakistan team Geopolitics There you go, that didn't happen between the Rams and the Falcons last night, there was no geopolitical angle between the Falcons and the Rams last night on Monday night, now I'm going to bring this all full circle Watch this No man, you're very good Here we go, so are some of your night thoughts middle of the night, wake up saying I wonder what the score is Yeah, and then I checked In night three of a five-night banger It's exciting, I know you're trying to make fun of it I'm not trying to make fun of it Yes, we take a tea break, sure And do they drink tea?

40:48Yeah, you bet they do

40:49Rich Eisen:Could you imagine a tea break in the National Football League? Wouldn't that be fantastic? Do you remember a player called John Amici? Of course Played for the Magic He was British, and he would drink tea During the breaks Go figure that Didn't you play for Penn State? Yeah, John DeMitch. Is that where you learn to drink tea? I mean, it didn't hurt. It's called Kumail Namjani Night Thoughts, available now for streaming on Hulu. It is Golden Globe nominated. Thank you for coming on. Thank you so much for having me. If you ever need someone to try and explain cricket to you on the show. Next week.

41:24It will take five days. It will take five days.

41:27Rich Eisen:See you in five days. See you in five days. There you go. Right here on the Rich Eisen Show. We're back to wrap this Tuesday show up in a sec.

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42:16Rich Eisen:You can make your home work for you while you're away. Not as a full-time thing, not as some big production, just something that fits into trips you're already taking. You can use the money for that dream vacation or put that money towards that outdoor kitchen you always wanted. Hosting on Airbnb just feels smart. Your home may be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.com slash host. As you know, managing maintenance, repair, and operations is never easy. But for the ones who always rise to the challenge, Granger has your back. From professional-grade products you can count on to fast, dependable delivery, they're there to help you keep things running smoothly.

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43:12Rich Eisen:The Rich Eisen Show, the podcast. Back here on The Rich Eisen Show, 844-204-RICH is the number to dial. Hyundai Hope on Wheels. For over the last 27 years, every Hyundai sold has helped fund life-saving pediatric cancer research. Together with over 850 dealers nationwide, they've raised more than$277 million, supporting over 25 ,000 kids in their fight against cancer. Visit HyundaiUSA.com and search Hyundai Hope on Wheels to learn more. At Hyundai, hope isn't optional. It comes standard. Stephen in Virginia is hanging on the phone line. Stephen, this has got to be good because this is the last caller we're taking in 2025 on the Rich Eisen Show.

43:53Rich Eisen:No pressure. No pressure. Rich, I just wanted to say thank you, man, for another great year of commentary. Wow. Okay. I heard you talking earlier about a story with Stu, man. I grew up with you guys, you and Stu and Kenny and Dan, and just to enjoy this car ride with my son next to me, talking sports. It's just beautiful, brother. So I appreciate what you've done this year. I'm really looking forward to 2026. And, yeah, man, keep it going, brother. I appreciate you so much. Wow, right back at you. So your son is in the car right now, Stephen? He is, yes, sir. What's your son's name? His name is Colton.

44:33Rich Eisen:Colton, are you there? Colton, what up, man? He just put his AirPods in. Oh, okay, hold on a minute. Meaning what? He can't hear us right now? That's what you're saying? He cannot hear us right now. Oh, man. I'm trying to reach back. How old is he? Maybe he's Rich Eyes and YouTube channel. I love it. How old is he? He is 10 years old. 10 years old. Come on. Let's get Colton out. I got to talk to him. Get his ears out. Get his ears out right now. Colton, 10 years old. 10 years old. All right. His ears are out. Colton, are you there? Yep. Colton. Yeah, he can hear you. Colton, who's your favorite team?

45:14Rich Eisen:What's your favorite team? Hokies. Hokies are his favorite team. All righty then. All right. Do you want to give him TJ? straight talk to Colton. You want to tell him about James Franklin? What do you want to do? You want to give him a little tutorial on James Franklin? Look, I think the wheels fell off for James Franklin at the end of the tenure there, but I think Virginia Tech has to be happy getting this man this coach, and I feel like he's Don't go higher register on a 10-year-old boy. Give him the straight. I think he should be happy. I think he's going to do very well at Virginia Tech, to be very honest.

45:51Rich Eisen:Does that help, Stephen? I'm with me. You there, Colton? Yeah, that helped, man. Yeah, TJ rigged me when he put me on hold. He said, yeah, good luck with that. Okay. Colton, Stephen, happy New Year to you. Thank you for the call. Thanks for saying what you said. Yeah, happy New Year, Rich. Yeah, there you go. Ladies and gentlemen, father-son combination right there. Love that. I got to love it. I think Virginia Tech should be very happy. They should be. Okay. Yeah. That would be great. Let's see what happens when they face a top-ten team. you've always got to be a little bit negative. You know what?

46:23Rich Eisen:I'm going to work on that for 2026. You know what I mean? Like, this is my last negative segment with you. You know what I mean? Maybe resolve to be a little nicer. Yeah, next year. Next year. Friday I'll be nicer. And like I told you at the beginning of the show, you're talking to a four-time champ. You should talk nice to me. Show some respect. Four-time fantasy football champ. Yeah. Okay. And congrats. You won best ball. I did win best ball. You did. I'm hoping to win guillotine. That's major right there. That's right. We know we spent 35 days doing that draft. That draft took forever. It's true.

47:00Rich Eisen:I know Jay Feli didn't do anything because Rico Dowdle didn't do well this week. That backfired. I'll tell you what, man. When I couldn't, that was my favorite fantasy moment of this year. Wait, I have Rico? When I went, when Chuba Hubbard went down, I saw it in the commercial break. I'm like, let me go get Rico Dowdle. And I said, oh damn, Feli's already gotten him and then I mention it on the air and you're like, oh I have him? And then you beat me with him later that week. When I say favorite fantasy segment, I mean the worst. I mean the worst. And Brockman, you're about to win guillotine? It's me and Jeff.

47:34Jeff Berman. Jeff Berman. So between the three of us, A, to nicer guys it couldn't happen. Right?

47:40Rich Eisen:Yes sir. Thanks for listening to the Rich Eisen Show podcast. You can watch and listen to the Rich Eisen Show live weekdays from noon to 3 Eastern on ESPN Radio, Disney Plus, and on the ESPN app. The Rich Eisen Show, the podcast.

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