Hour 3: UNC Hires Michael Malone, plus Comedian/Roastmaster General Jeff Ross In-Studio

23:27Rich Eisen:Brother, I mean, and these are just two of the stories that you tell of the hundreds throughout this entire show. That is just fascinating. There are things that Susie and I did not know about you when we first saw it that we learned. And, you know, and it's just, again, why people should see it, because so many people know you as as the Roastmaster General, which is who you are also. But who you are also is this show and the upbringing that you had there in New Jersey and the family that's all still around you. And you haven't changed. You haven't changed a day, man, throughout all those people.

24:01All that my whole family would come to the show. You know, I was doing eight shows a week. So I always had somebody that I knew in the audience, having grown up in New York and New Jersey. and my family feels like it's their show like they we've all made it to broadway yeah it was

24:16Rich Eisen:pretty it's been pretty cool and now you're watching it back you're thinking what i know you spent you you're you spent all this time in the edit bay but now that you see it what do you think i feel proud of it actually and it's not even because it's about my family and i it's about all of us i talk about resilience and bouncing back and if you've ever had to take care of somebody or lost a friend. I talk about losing Bob Saget, Gilbert Gottfried, and Norm MacDonald all within eight months. So anytime friends vanish like that, there's a real struggle that people have. And I want you to see your friends when you watch the show.

24:52My dog, I talk about adopting two German shepherds during the pandemic. And so if you've ever had an old dog, a senior dog, you'll get a lot out of this. I talk about how to process it, the things I've gone through. And one of the fundamental thoughts behind the show is about resilience. You know, I lost my mom when I was 14. She'd been sick a couple of years. And by then I understood as human beings, we're made to mourn and move on. You can't mourn forever or a part of you dies. And that's not fair. so the idea of bouncing back and putting on a fake smile hoping it becomes a real smile yeah is a big part of the the mission of the show Jeff Ross here on the Rich Eisen Show and you talking about bouncing back you know it's a it's funny that you say that and I'm looking at you

25:43Rich Eisen:and um you and I met when New York City was bouncing back yeah and the country was bouncing You and I met in New York City two weeks after 9-11. Right. When I met you, I decided to go to some party. You know, our mutual friend John Mosley was like, come on out. Yeah, yeah. And he's like, you should meet the, you know, Jeff Ross. And I'm like, I revered you, you know, because of who you, what you did for roasts and roasts are my favorite forms of comedy. Love it. You know, and I told you that about your famous B. Arthur moment at the Jerry Stiller roast. Yeah, the joke that I don't think I can repeat right now about Sandra Bernhardt.

26:23Rich Eisen:Oh, Sandra Bernhardt. Holy blank. I wouldn't blank you with Bea Arthur's blank. There's a lot going on in that joke. It's almost become a math problem for people the way I tell it now. Correct. But you were so generous. You didn't know me from Adam. Like, we literally had just met. I met you on the street. I'll never forget it. I was like, hey, do you have a tuxedo? Yeah. And I'm like, yeah, why? And then you told me that there was a roast of Hugh Hefner coming up. You were like, how could that be still going on? I mean, the whole world is on their knees right now. And my philosophy was that this was before the phrase, you know, the terrorists win.

27:05Right. So to me, the idea of canceling the show was letting the terrorists win. Like Hugh Hefner was the epitome of American craziness. Yes. And I talked Comedy Central and the comedians and the Friars Club into going on with the show and not having a crazy after party, moving that money to the charities involved with 9-11. Right. And we wound up doing this really cathartic show that helped people sort of bounce back.

27:34Rich Eisen:Yeah. And the deus, I'll never forget it. It was the New York Observer. Right. Called it the B-52 wing bomber. Celebrities. Of schtick. That's what they called it. It was massive. Everyone had to come out and see what. Kimmel was the roast master, right? Jimmy Kimmel hosted it. Who was there? I remember Stephen Colbert was there. I remember Triumph was there. Steve Carell was there. Steve Carell was there. Was Howard Stern there? Because that was the rumor that he was somewhere out there. He usually would hide in the balcony. Not hide, but he had his like perch up in the balcony. Right. And I remember Cedric the Entertainer was there.

28:08And Rob Schneider was there. And Sarah Silverman was there.

28:13Rich Eisen:Right. It was unreal. Yeah. And I just remember because there was a prize fight that night and it did. The roast didn't start till about 10 o 'clock that some folks got up and went to the prize fight. Right. And they tapped my shoulder. So do you want to fill a seat closer to the dais? And I wound up being like five seats from the dais. I didn't know this. And and I had a front row seat. And I I'll be honest. I'd never heard the the the aristocrats joke. Right. Ever. Right. And I had no idea what Gilbert Gottfried was doing until the whole place went nuts after he told a joke that was way too soon.

28:52Rich Eisen:And then he went into that roast. And then, you know, I think Bob Saget made a movie out of it. Right. He made like a documentary out of that. Bob was in it. Right. What happened was Gilbert was closing the roast. Right. And he came out. I think he was dressed like a waiter, if I recall. I could be or just maybe it was a coincidence. He was wearing the same tuxedo jacket the waiters were wearing. Right. He just looked so funny. And he's holding the podium like it's about to blast off. And he just goes for it. He does. He's completely inappropriate jokes about 9-11. And the place is like, whoa.

29:27Yeah. Rocks. Remember that. And it was something about his plane having a connection at the Empire State Building. That's correct. Like, it was so foul.

29:36Rich Eisen:He said that there's, you know, that's what he said. Wow. Yeah. It was so foul. and the place kind of reversed even for a roast people were like shocked right someone yelled too soon i don't know who it was i don't know if we'll ever find out but from the rafters too soon he had a couple thousand new yorkers packed into this room and that's when gilbert sort of readjusted and launched into this long crazy apparently uh like folk folk song of a joke right called the aristocrats that comics would tell with just among themselves for years yeah Bob helps tell it in the movie, but ultimately that movie was made by Penn Jillette and Paul Provenza.

30:15And we're all in it.

30:17Rich Eisen:Like all the comics of that time are in it. Well, it was such a big night. Again, I just remember feeling normal. Sports began to come back, and that was a big night. And so when you're talking about bouncing back and renewal, the fact that you and I kind of met through that. Now here we are sitting here in 2026, and you got the roasts back on, man. like the Brady roast a couple years ago. Come on, Emmy nominated, baby. That's right. We're going to top it this time. And I was talking about this the other day, that that Brady roast worked through certain things amongst the Patriots that allowed Brady's induction into the Patriot Hall of Fame about a month later to be completely free of all that.

30:59Rich Eisen:Right. Like some things need to get off people's chests, and the roasts are some sometimes a way to do it it's healing don't you think well in the case of the brady roast having his teammates there edelman gronk yeah some others um and then having belichick is a surprise like darth vader entrance you got robert craft there and my understanding was these guys hadn't really been in the same room together they hadn't been close it was kind Now, I see. Correct. Kevin Hart did a great job of dragging them up there together for a shot, to take a shot, which Gronk then spiked into the audience. There was glass everywhere.

31:42So this was the most punk rock roast of memory. It was wild. But what it really did was I think it healed any animosity, anything icy between these players and coaches and owners. and I always say roasting heels laughing at yourself laughing with each other and it wound up being two and a half billion viewing minutes Emmy nominated against the Oscars and the Super Bowl halftime show the roast used to be a joke and now it's like up there with these huge live events and I I feel like there's something else going on that I haven't quite pinpoint why people love seeing big shots get taken taken down a notch well i think it's also um that you

32:30Rich Eisen:people forget the the line that you say and i think was it rickles who originated you only roast the ones you love it's an old friars club thing is that what it is it comes from a place of love when you roast someone right and that that that usually all the the segments of roasting end with an actual genuine yeah honoring sincere moment right you know like that's the way that That's the tradition of it. Right. But in this day and age, there's such quick trigger. Things get shared on the phone with no context. Then I'll give a sincere moment. Right. Tom Brady, for agreeing to do that roast, and I said to him, why are you agreeing to this?

33:08I talked him into it, and I held on to him for a few years. Right. It was like big game hunting. You had to get this giant figure to agree to it. and live, unedited. So the hits are, and he took the hits for three hours and six minutes so that the rest of us could forget our own problems for a night. Right. And I think he should get the Nobel Peace Prize. It was like the greatest gift that he could give humanity. Not only did he take the hits and show the world that even a goat can laugh at themselves. Yes. And I know how much you love Brady. but it's also showing the world that that we can laugh again that we don't have to be like all hung up and worried about you know super sensitive stuff like it kind of brought comedy it recalibrated it

33:58Rich Eisen:and it's going to be uh on mother's day we're doing a new one baby eight eastern five o 'clock uh here at the same spot the key of form five o 'clock uh five o 'clock that's when the comics eat lunch how are we going to do a live at five the roast of kevin hart hosted breakfast for us hosted by Shane Gillis I mean and are we gonna do you know can you announce who's gonna be on the dais I can't yet we're my phone our phones okay I've been ringing off the hook so there's a lot to sift through well one that I would you know request would have to be Nikki Glaser we haven't thought of that oh yeah from the last rose yeah I mean her her career is basically pivoted that night in a way or it took off.

34:45Rich Eisen:It was explosive. It was explosive. One of the best sets ever obviously. Definitely a roast master right there. Yes, for sure. And so, okay. Who else do you want? I haven't thought about that. What's your roast fantasy league for the For Kevin? It's The Rock. The Rock. The Rock. The Rock's gotta be Oh yeah, we didn't think of that. That's a good idea. If only they had done some movies together. That's right. The Rock? No, I mean, it's gonna be great. The Rock's gonna carry him out in a baby bjorn we're gonna it's either that or we shoot kevin out of a cannon we haven't decided how to start oh whatever he's well whatever he's up for i can't wait for that it's gonna be good and shane gillis you know we have our first talk with him today about oh great to do it and he's gonna be he's one of my favorites yeah gonna be he's gonna and he's from philly like kevin right and they're friendly so it's it's gonna be a a really really good show well as you were you know when i i saw that I texted you.

35:42Rich Eisen:You called. Susie and I were right there. I've never seen her basically agree to do something on Mother's Day night on the spot quite like that. She's like, we're in. That's going to be great. We're going to add a word between Mother's Day.

36:01I love it. I can't wait. You're invited. I can't wait. Thanks for always being so supportive of the roast rate.

36:09Rich Eisen:Come on, dude. And just you. at the Borgata Hotel at the Music Box at Borgata in Atlantic City on June 6th in Reno, Nevada on June 13th, Silver Legacy Resort, roastmastergeneral.com for that. Before I let you go back up to 405, what's your favorite Rickles story? Oh, wow. Your favorite Don Rickles story? I can tell you a quick one. Go for it. there's a famous one where since we're talking about my life and my show a little bit i'll make it personal please this is a hundred rickle stories i could tell there's a famous one and you can help me with it where where uh frank sinatra comes over to the table to say hi to don don sets it up says i'm with someone i like my wife bought my girlfriend barb at the time yeah and don comes uh frank comes over and says hey don um you know nice to see and don drops his fork and says frank can't you see i'm busy i'm with people it's like a famous story okay so imagine that story is now a famous story my father sees this on the tonight show yes my dad ronnie lifshultz new jersey catering legend ronnie lifshultz sees this sees rickles and sinatra tell this story on this tonight show a couple of days a decade later now my dad is off for a night, probably a Monday, you know, from the catering hall, goes down to Atlantic City with his girlfriend, also named Barbara, sees Don Rickles in the steakhouse at Resorts International Casino, politely goes over, and they kind of had recognized each other because they both ate in the same steakhouse.

37:48And my dad says, Mr. Rickles, I'm here with someone I really like. If, you know, when you're leaving or you're going to the men's room, if you could stop over and pretend you know me, it would really impress her. And I really like this woman. Would you please do it? Don rolls his eyes. He kind of knows he's in. He's about to, he kind of knows what he's walking into, I assume. And he comes over and he says, hey, Roddy, how you doing, buddy? Is this Barbara you told me about? My dad drops his fork and says, I'm eating, Don. And Rick slaps his knee. And, you know, for a while I was like, did this really happen?

38:25You know, my dad died when I was 19. So I go, how did this? And then when I started doing Broadway, I got a nice note from Barbara's daughter, the girlfriend's daughter, saying, my mom still talks about the time Don Rickles came over the table. So it really happened. One of my favorite Rickles stories.

38:42Rich Eisen:I mean, and then for you to get to know him and he means so much to you and you obviously meant so much to him, too. It's a dream come true. I spoke at his memorial. It was such an honor. And I'll never forget when I really felt seen by Don. I was at Milton Berle's funeral. Oh, my God. And I run to the bathroom afterwards. I happened to know where the private bathroom was behind the funeral parlor. And everyone, the whole crowd goes out to the cemetery to bury Milton Berle. And I run to this little tiny powder room. I'm in there 45 seconds. I had to do what I had to do, wash my hands. I open the door.

39:27Don Rickles is standing there with his hands on his hips like he's been waiting two hours. And he looks at me. He sees it's me. And he looks at me and he goes, what, was there a deus in there?

39:40Like, yes, Rickles knows me. I did it. I made it. Because you only roast the ones you love. I only roast the ones I love. And when Buddy died, when Buddy Hackett passed away, I happened to be seated next to Don. And I was very nervous to give my eulogy. I worked really hard on it. Larry Gobart kind of gave me a stamp, said, this is really good. Just go do it, word for word. It wasn't funny. It was sincere about our friendship. I love Buddy Hackett. And Don was always a little jealous of my friendship with Buddy Hackett. He would always bust my chops about that a little bit. And I sat back down, and Don gave me a little on the knee, like, good job.

40:18and i felt very validated yeah like i was now a black belt and busting balls i not only knew who i was but was like great job dude i love that i could hear these stories all

40:32Rich Eisen:day long jeff ross take a banana for the ride is available now on netflix it premiered just a couple weeks ago you will not regret it it is heartwarming it is hilarious it's awesome you do some live roasting at the end of people in the audience uh that is a clip that i could not air on disney plus earlier on so trust me it's outstanding you know what it is uh not to interrupt you no good i i'm vulnerable in the show and it allowed other people to be vulnerable about their lives yep so i walk around and go whoever's going through something intense in your life stand up and earn your banana and i'm handing out bananas the way my grandfather gave them to me dude it's beautiful it really is it means a lot people you you let people in on your life and then it is about life it's about life it's about death it's about crying it's about laughing it's about all of it and um you're awesome pal that means i love you i love you i love you love it at real jeffrey ross on twitter instagram the real jeffrey ross roastmastergeneral.com to see this man live where he should be seen and then the roast of kevin hart coming up in may on netflix which is where you can Mother's blank day.

41:39Rich Eisen:On Mother's blank day. There won't be any jokes like that at all. You just got a little preview. Love you, pal. Thanks, Rick. That's Jeffrey Ross, everybody, right here on The Rich Eisen Show to wrap in a moment.

41:55Rich Eisen:The Rich Eisen Show, the podcast.

42:03Rich Eisen:No one likes having to choose. That's why with America's best lineup of hybrids from Hyundai, you get the best of both worlds. Like the reliable and efficient Tucson hybrid with America's best warranty or the stylish yet capable Santa Fe hybrid with the power to navigate the toughest terrain. It's like having your cake and eating it too, but you know, better. Hybrids from Hyundai. It's the best of both worlds. Visit HyundaiUSA.com or call 562-314-4603 for more details. Quick timeout. some breakfast intel you want to know about. Kodiak frozen power waffles and flapjacks are built for busy mornings.

42:41Rich Eisen:Heat it, eat it, and you're out the door. No long prep, no complicated game plan. They're packed with 12 to 14 grams of protein per serving, a good source of fiber, and crafted with 100 % whole grains, not refined white flour. So you're getting something that actually fuels you. And there's depth on the roster. Buttermilk and vanilla, blueberry, chocolate chip, even gluten-free options. Breakfast that delivers, snack that delivers. Find Kodiak frozen waffles and flapjacks in the frozen aisle at your local grocery store. They're the ones with the bear on the box. No one likes having to choose. That's why with America's best lineup of hybrids from Hyundai, you get the best of both worlds, like the reliable and efficient Tucson hybrid with America's best warranty or the stylish yet capable Santa Fe hybrid with the power to navigate the toughest terrain it's like having your cake and eating it too but you know better hybrids from hyundai it's the best of both worlds visit hyundaiusa.com or call 562-314-4603 for more details um right let's go to michael in philadelphia michael you there hey rich yeah how's it going michael did you already listen to uh overreaction monday or watch it did you already do that yes I finished the whole pod just about an hour ago.

44:03Rich Eisen:Attaboy. Appreciate you taking it in. My man. You have the floor, Michael. Don't say my man. I'm here to talk to you if that's all right with me. Oh, no. He's got beef with you. As we all know, the topic of pressure came up on the pod today. My personal least favorite topic, because I am on Rich's side, and listening to Brockman makes me want to pull my hair out. Okay. If you don't mind, can I propose a hypothetical to Brockman for just 30 seconds? Go for it. What do you got, man? Okay, Brockman. So let's say a hypothetical. Rich Eisen is going out of town for a long weekend. He's going to be out of the show for two days.

44:37Rich Eisen:He's allowed you to host one. He's allowed TJ to host one. He reaches out to me. He says, Michael, you're a very rational Philadelphia Eagles fan. So I'm going to let you make some decisions around here while I'm gone. If TJ does not do a job that meets your standards, you and all your Philadelphia Eagles fan buddies are going to tweet really mean things at him. If Brockman does not meet your standards, he's gone. You have the ultimate authority to fire him. Who comes out of that situation feeling more pressure? Yeah, who's got more pressure? The person who's about to lose their job or the person who's going to be talked about?

45:13Rich Eisen:And we're going to be really mean to TJ. He's a Cowboys fan. We don't like him. We like him as a person. We don't like him as a cowboy. I mean, look, I'm used to that. Or he could just shut out the noise, but you can't shut out losing your job, can you, Michael? You can't. Thank you very much. A very, very rational Philadelphia Eagles fan, Michael, right here on the Rich Eisen Show. Those words rarely go together. He doesn't climb any lighting poles. I still think they don't apply here. Well, here comes Lamar Jackson today. He showed up for work. We got video of him. R.E.S. consultant taking a look.

45:45Rich Eisen:that looks like a man who's motivated. Oh, he's ready. Oh, look at him running around cones. Love this stuff. Yeah, man. Running in a figure. Oh, he's running straight. Here he goes. Oh, look at him lifting his body. Oh, yeah. That's not easy to do. That looks like a guy who feels no pressure. None. Okay. I missed it, so I wasn't sure. Oh, he's saying that Lamar's the quarterback under the most pressure this year. Yeah, we've done, a couple weeks ago, we had this. Okay. Insane. All right. I've got Magic in Champaign, Illinois. Magic? I don't know. Let's ask. You there? Yes. What's going on, guys?

46:22Rich Eisen:How you doing? Irvin. What's up, G? Okay. Hey, Maize and Blue tonight, Rich. Rich, why aren't you in Indy? Because I'm here. I'm doing the show. I just chatted with Jeffrey Ross. He's been booked for weeks. I know. I'm traveling this weekend. I'm running my 40-yard dash at St. Jude in Memphis. I've got a caper I'm cultivating for Sunday night that I'm yet to announce, but I think people hopefully will enjoy it. Doing my show in New York. Got the comp, you know, I got the draft coming up two weeks after that. I'm just going to sit at home and watch it get tipped on time because there's no chain smokers concert.

47:01Rich Eisen:And then I'm going to hopefully watch a show, watch something I'll never forget in a positive way, have a glass of red wine and not wait an extra hour for an antiquated one shining moment antiquated right you know what i mean magic that's my right i got you now rich yeah now listen you should have came back i know you was in indy for the combine you should have came back this is this is a uh once maybe in our lifetime moment that we're gonna win the ship okay i guess we played great we played great saturday yep hopefully we can continue that hopefully uh Y.L. is going to play tonight. You know, it hurt his ankle.

47:39Rich Eisen:He's going to get it out. He's going to play. But I like our chances tonight, Rich. I like our chances tonight. Magic callback tomorrow, will you please? Let's talk tomorrow. I will. Awesome. I got you amazing blue, baby. All right. All day, every day for life, Rich. In the home of the University of Illinois. That would have been an interesting night for Magic had the Illini made it. But there you go. There goes Magic. Bang. And as you know, all Magic know how to hit the obvious. Go blue. Go blue. Forge for great luck. Thanks for listening to the Rich Eisen Show podcast. You can watch and listen to the Rich Eisen Show live weekdays from noon to 3 Eastern on ESPN Radio, Disney Plus, and on the ESPN app.

48:22Rich Eisen:The Rich Eisen Show, the podcast.