Hour 3: What the Browns are Getting in Jared Verse, plus Suzy Shuster and Author Adams Mansbach

23:53Rich Eisen:Save$2 when you buy two cans of Superior Products Cover All Tire Dressing. Plus receive four times O rewards points now at O 'Reilly Auto Parts. Coverall delivers long lasting shine. Visit your O 'Reilly Auto Parts store or OReillyAuto.com. Rich Eisen here. Take a second and look at your city's calendar. Everywhere I go, there's always something coming up. Games, concerts, conventions, tournaments, the kind of events that bring people in from all over. And when that happens, you can feel it. More energy, more fans, and a whole lot more people looking for a place to stay. So here's something to think about.

24:29Rich Eisen:If your city has that kind of buzz, if big events are on the way, listing your space on Airbnb could be a great opportunity. If you're already planning to be out of town or you've got a trip coming up, why not make your place work for you while you're gone? You've got the space and you're not using it. It could be earning you some extra cash. I know when I travel for these big events, I'm not just looking for a place to crash. I want something comfortable and safe. a place that allows me to experience the city like a local. And that's exactly what you can do by offering to list your space. No big lifestyle change, no long-term commitment, just making smart use of the space you already have.

25:09Rich Eisen:So the next time your city draws a crowd, think about listing your space on Airbnb. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.com slash host. As you know, managing maintenance, repair, and operations is never easy. But for the ones who always rise to the challenge, Grainger has your back. From professional-grade products you can count on to fast, dependable delivery, they're there to help you keep things running smoothly. Plus, their technical product specialists are here to help answer your toughest questions. And because Grainger knows safety is always a priority, they're committed to being your partner in protecting both your people and your facilities.

25:46Call 1-800-GRAINGER, clickgrainger.com, or just stop by.

25:52Rich Eisen:Back on The Rich Eisen Show altogether at Disney Plus, The Rich Eisen Show radio audience. I'm talking to the author, Adam Mansback, the author of Go the F to College. And for those who enjoyed the Go the F to Sleep book as well will totally understand what this is. And so, you know, again, I know we're talking about college and we'll get to that in a second. But go the F to sleep, you know, just for everyone to understand, is just as profane as it gets. You know, may I read a little bit here? You know, I know I can't do it justice, but here it is. The cats nestle close to their kittens. The lambs have lain down their sheep.

26:36Rich Eisen:You're cozy and warm in your bed, my dear. Please go the F to sleep. It doesn't say F in here. Now, listen, some people might say that Sam Jackson read that better than you, but I would disagree. I think you're right there with him. The windows are dark in the town, child. The whales huddle down in the deep. I'll read you one very last book if you swear. You'll go the F to sleep. And you got Samuel L. Jackson to read the audio book for this. Remarkably, we did. How the hell did you get that done? Well, the story of the book is kind of a funny one. And for reasons that are a little bit complicated, the book kind of blew up and became a hit months before it was published.

27:19I gave a reading of the book in April. The book was meant to be published the following October. I read it to about 200 people at a museum in Philadelphia where I was living. I was actually living at the museum. Like Ben Stiller? Like Ben Stiller, mixed up files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler. No, so I read the book and it kind of took off and people went home and they pre-ordered it on Amazon. And by the end of the week, it was number one on Amazon, this book that did not yet exist. So there was a lot of momentum and it just stayed there at number one. And it started ricocheting around the Internet because there was a PDF that we had put together to send booksellers because we thought they might not even want to stock a book called Go the F to Sleep.

28:01It was landing in hundreds of thousands of people's mailboxes, you know, and we were dumb enough to think this was a problem. Right. Luckily, it's bad form to show up at a baby shower with a low resolution printed out, stapled together PDF and be like, we're so happy for you here. Please take this gift. So it didn't really hurt us. And so we had all this momentum and Audible, which was a brand new company at the time. They were like, maybe we make a splash with this book. So they came to us and they were like, who do you want to read the book? And we thought about it for about one second. And we were like, Samuel L.

28:34Jackson, the bard of the F-bomb is our guy. So they went to him and he came on. And, you know, the beauty of a book this short is like stuff happens fast. So like Tuesday morning, they're like, we're going to ask Sam Tuesday afternoon. They're like, Sam read it. It's done. It's great. He killed it. You know, and like by the next. Are you serious? Yeah, it was that. I mean, the book, you know, is like 400 words. Many of them repeated more than once. So it's like it doesn't take that long for stuff to happen. So he came on, he read it. Meanwhile, we rushed the book out in time for Father's Day, so several months before it was originally meant to be published.

29:11And, you know, he was like on the Letterman show reading the book, which is a rare thing for audio books. You don't usually end up on like late night television reading them out loud. Right. And it was amazing. And he did it, you know, it's probably his best work since Pulp Fiction.

29:23Rich Eisen:Well, first of all, I don't offer any pushback on that. Because, again, this speaks... the fact that you're losing your mind trying to get your child to go to sleep because you're now sleep deprived yourself i think anybody in the sound of our voice whether they're listening or watching right now with a kid you're already going down ptsd over there i'm just thinking and it it's just will drive you crazy in the cra i'll just call him out since he's now six foot two 15 year old Cooper Eisen um you know with what I do on NFL Network on Sunday mornings um he for whatever reason would always sleep just fine with the exception of a Saturday night when I had to get up if my call time was four in the morning okay he would wake up every Saturday night and I was just like will you go the f to sleep like you just lose your mind so you're speaking in a way that I think is so relatable to people and then who to get to actually voice it but as you said the bard of the f-bomb yeah it's perfect I mean what a perfect storm yeah for that it was pretty amazing and then even crazier is that after that it kind of became like a hip thing for celebrities to read the book yes so over the years like everybody from Jennifer Garner to Gilbert Godfrey to Cardi B to Shaggy has like read the book LeVar Burton read the book you know all kinds of people none of it stuff that we set up i'll just be like minding my business and you know my phone will start blowing up and cardi b is on the tonight show pregnant and like he gives her the book and there she is reading it it's pretty crazy and then you follow up with um again i you have to effing eat seriously there's three things there's three things that kids control that you can't control when they go to the bathroom when they eat when they go to sleep you got brian cranched in and i write that we did we did walter white himself in 2014 so it's in the middle of him being walter white yeah yeah i couldn't believe that you know uh and i remember i remember this one crazy moment where i was like on the phone with the audible or the audiobook company and they were pitching stuff and i was responding and i remember just this one moment where i was like no not meryl streep get meryl streep off the list and i kind of stopped and i was like what is my life.

31:48What's going on right now? But yeah, we ended up with Bryan Cranston for that.

31:52Rich Eisen:And then there's another book about having another child called F. Now There Are Two of You, narrated by Larry David. Yeah, that was special. That was special. Did you ever chat with Larry? Have you ever had a chat with L.D.? I met Larry through a mutual friend, my co-author, Alan Zweibel, who I've written several books with, original SNL writer, kind of a comedy legend. And also a guy who I think Larry doesn't want to hang out with on Curb Your Enthusiasm. Yeah, yeah. Well, you know, according to Alan, they're best friends. And I'm like, are you really, Alan? But he introduced us. And Larry, when he did the book, the statement he made was something like, I did this book as a favor to Adam, who I don't know and have never met, which is so like me, you know, which I thought was great.

32:40But I think I earned his respect when they asked me if I would fly out to supervise the recording session in L.A. with Larry. But at the time, I was on Martha's Vineyard, and I was like, no, I'm going to pass. I don't want to leave this island. I think that's when Larry was like, I like this guy.

32:57Rich Eisen:Because that's a haunt of his, right? Yeah, and he would never leave to do anything. So I think he respected that I didn't care enough to go meet him. You know, I feel like we really bonded at that point. I would have to concur. Adam, you're spot on in everything you're saying. And now comes Go the F to college, and this is being read by? Ted Danson. Ted Danson. The great Ted Danson. How'd you land on Ted Danson? Well, I mean, Ted was a dream come true for me because, again, I'm from Boston, and I grew up watching Cheers, which you were legally required to do in Boston, right? Like there were quizzes in school the next day on each episode of Cheers.

33:41And, you know, he's one of those guys who's for me anyway, he's an actor who is like I can hear his voice in my head. You know, I was introduced to him by a mutual friend, W. Kamau Bell, who I have a book coming out with. Ted was just on Kamau's podcast. They had a little cute podcast exchange. And Kamau and I were sitting around in my kitchen and I was like trying to figure out who to go to for this audio book. and he mentioned that he had just been on Danson's podcast. And I did that kind of like awkward thing where I was like, you know, I wouldn't be upset if you texted Ted Danson and asked him if he wanted to read my audio book and come out because he's like a lovely guy.

34:19I was like, yeah, I can send that text. And to my great shock, Ted was into it and got on board. He has grandkids this age, but he really, really got the book. Like this book is a little different than the others because sending your kid to college is its own special experience.

34:36Rich Eisen:Usually it's a bittersweet emotion. Very much so. So this book is full of like, you know, Go the F to Sleep was like everything you want to say to your kid but can't. This book is like everything you should say to your kid and ought to. It's like, it's sort of poignant and bittersweet and you want to give advice but you know you should like back off, you know. So there's a lot in this book that's like, you know, you want to let your kid know that you're going to miss them and they can always come home but also you're turning their bedroom into a gym you know um well i mean i'm i'm cracking the book here and the first uh i'll cover the copy since it's got the f word in it but it's a a teenage boy uh still sleeping at 1102 a.m with his uh uh ear pods out next to the alarm clock he's out like a light and it says i don't know where the time went just yesterday you were a pup Back then you wouldn't go to sleep.

35:31Rich Eisen:Now you won't wake the F up. We love the person you become, so cool and so full of weird knowledge, and we're happy and sad that it's time for you to go the F to college. And so on it goes. And so on it goes, yeah. You know, there's advice in here. No pills, no powders. Do not black out. I realize, of course, that you haven't asked me for any advice, but I can't let you F it up, especially not at this price. Well done. I mean, it's just, it's great, man. Thank you. Feel free to just keep reading the whole book. No, no, no, I don't want to. I don't want to ruin it anymore. What was the pills and the powders?

36:06Oh, yeah. I think maybe the best advice in the book, there's a page that says, no pills, no powders, do not black out. These things are not good for your health. And if anybody tells you different, tell that a-hole to go F himself. Great advice. Poetic. Yeah. Poetic. Yeah, Danson, he said, you know, I got to interact with him. I got to kind of direct him reading the book. Ted, he's such a nice guy. I don't know if you've ever had him on here.

36:38Rich Eisen:He's been here with Mary, his wife. If I hadn't been warned in advance, Kamau was like, don't be freaked out at how kind and sweet he is. It's not an act. He's not playing you. He's actually that nice. And if he hadn't warned me, I would have been so confused because he's genuinely like the kindest man in the world. And he said, he was like, you know, when I started reading the book, I thought this was for parents to give their kids at graduation or when they're going off to college. And he's like, but in reading it and performing it, I realized it's also, and maybe more so, he was like, kids, you should get this book for your parents because you're fine.

37:16but they're going through a lot of big emotions right now and they need this book to process their feelings. So I don't know how many 18 year olds have that kind of disposable income to afford an entire book, but you know, you could give it in both directions,

37:29Rich Eisen:I guess. Brother, I'm, I'm, again, I'm a big fan of your work. You, you got Susie and I through some, some nights just with some chuckles and things like that. And, and I'm, you know, he's a Boston sports fan. So it's also, it's very kind of you to use the rich eyes and show to announce that there's a new book called The Red Sox Pay Your F 'n Superstar. It's a good book. I know of someone who might need that book. Where the F is Mookie? Yeah. With the original working title of the book. That is really when I had to take a step back. I was like, I've invested far too much time and love and energy into this team.

38:09I grew up under the curse. I watched the curse end. I watched the run and all of that. And then when Mookie left, I was like, this is an unhealthy relationship. This has become toxic, and I have to take a step back for my own sanity. I'm just going to pour all of my love and affection into the Celtics. Yes. And my children, I guess.

38:31Rich Eisen:In that order? In that order. Well done. Hey, man, come back anytime you want. Congrats on all of this. Thank you. It's a pleasure to meet you and see you in person, have the same sense of humor that clearly you got through your writing. Thanks. Congrats on taking something so visceral and making something that connects people. Thank you. Adam, man's back. It's here. Go the F to college wherever you get your books. Go ahead and also listen to the audio book version with Ted Danson. That's good stuff. 844-204-RICH. Number to dial right here on The Rich Eisen Show. What rhymes with John Henry? The Rich Eisen Show.

39:09The podcast.

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40:19Rich Eisen:Here to help you achieve something once thought impossible, and that's overcoming high-interest credit card debt. Walk the tightrope of your finances with one low fixed-rate monthly payment, no fees required, and as soon as the same-day funding. That's right. Pull off your own debt-defying stunt with a SoFi personal loan. Visit SoFi.com slash trick to learn more. Loans originated by SoFi Bank N.A., member FDIC. Terms and conditions apply. NMLS 696891. All right. Getting set for everything going down in the WNBA tonight. Seeing if Caitlin Clark and Stephanie White are really hugging it out or going at it against the Atlanta Dream tonight, part of a doubleheader.

41:01Rich Eisen:They're getting you ready for it, along with the rest of what's going on in women's sports with Women's Sports Now. Susie Schuster is here. What's up, Susie? We're expecting a real tea party there. What are you talking about? Real tea party with the fever because, God forbid, something actually exciting happens like a coach and a player actually have an argument. But when the cameras are right in people's faces, I'm all for it. I thought you were going to say something exciting happening with the fever like a win. Oh, boy. Look at you. Wow. Look. Wow. The haters got to hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.

41:34No, I said it months ago that this was the most important summer for Caitlin Clark. And so far, they're disappointing. I have to tell you, I don't think you're wrong. However, I do think that oftentimes the wins come from altercations like this. And so I'm actually interested to see how things play out. We have talked about this, Chris, many times on the show. Are they a better team when she's not in the lineup? Because other players actually play and don't watch. And yeah, she, or, you know, but I looked up her stats, something I'm going to show in the team. People always point at her for not playing good defense yet.

42:06She leads the league. She leads her team in steals. she's actually making things happen much more often than we're actually seeing. We see always, we look at the points, right? We look at points, assists, rebounds, what have you.

42:18Rich Eisen:Well, she leads to the league in assists, but she's also number one in turnover. Well, and she's, and you could see that. And she's number one in trying to get fouls. That's one thing is if I'm her coach, I would say to her, like enough with the theatrics, stop looking for a foul after every single moment of basketball. Well, the, the major issue is, you know, on the court is her defense. I mean, you could see that. I think if I saw the stat right, that the number of times that she's been put in isolation and driven on is three times more than the second place person who is who is A.Z. Fudd. Right.

42:50And I mean, and no, Olivia Miles, Olivia Miles, because, by the way, I mean, the irony of this conversation is that she's the other one who you look at to have the ball in her hands the most. She's the most electric player on offense, but she doesn't play great defense. and like you're looking at AZ and then all the talk about okay should Olivia have gone one instead of AZ and you know the answer is well AZ is a more well-rounded player but what Olivia does every single night is magic but back to Caitlin because everything's about Caitlin right and and

43:19Rich Eisen:and just to put two things together of what you just said is the fact that there's a conversation of did the Dallas wings blow it or not is part and parcel of the spotlight that's on the WNBA where people are having these sorts of conversations that you would see about other leagues and other, you know, top talent that everyone knows about from college. You hear that in the NFL all the time in the draft. You take the right person, one or two. But the other thing, too, is, yeah, the cameras are going to be on if you are arguing with your coach to the point where you get kicked out of a huddle and your coach points to the rookie and says, you take Kaitlyn Clark's seat, which you know Stephanie White understands she's telling the rookie, you sit in Clark's seat, you're out of the huddle.

44:03Rich Eisen:you know you take the foam sit you know seat that you had to take it off put the rookie in there like something's up and i understand that they've they've all played it off like well i know you're gonna ask me in my press conference stuff yeah heck yeah what was an hour and a half conversation team-wise too yep for them all again so but but i will let me argue this back we're talking about steph white we're talking about jose fernandez we're talking about decisions that coaches are making for their players a whole lot more than we used to. The end back comes with the spotlight, and that comes with the attention that Caitlin has brought.

44:36And, yes, the league existed for many, many years before that, but we never saw a player with a 24-hour camera interface the way we do now. So we're going to break that down with Coach Corey Close today. She's coached Caitlin. She knows her really, really well. We asked Steph White, who was on the show a couple weeks ago, about what it's like to coach her and the pressure of doing such. But when something turns into a full-time soap opera like it has now, I guarantee you that the number of people watching the game tonight will be triplicate.

45:03Rich Eisen:I agree. We'll be watching in our house. Yeah. I know you don't have anything else going on, right, TJ? All types of stuff. Very good. By the way, I don't feel like I'm arguing with you right now. Me or her? I don't think why people love to think that we argue a lot. We really don't argue very much. Oh, my. Is that the new drop, the new Ben Johnson drop? Oh, my. Oh, my. Okay. Is that because I'm always right? Ben Johnson. Ladies and gentlemen, Susie Schuster here. Who else is a guest on your program? Sandy Brondello, standing ovation last night in Brooklyn. As you said, for all those in New York who didn't watch the next game.

45:41But I'm sure there were plenty of people on phones watching both. I would get that. But she's the last person to have brought a championship to New York. I will ask her on Women's Sports Now about what it means to bring a championship to New York. And could the Knicks do the same? because we're not afraid of men's sports, guys. We just talk about women.

45:58Rich Eisen:Well, maybe we can get Becky Hammond back on the show. She was on the inaugural episode of Season 2. If Jalen Brumson does, in fact, win a championship. Sure. Go for it. I'm happy to have Becky back anytime. I know that. But you can have her right here in this chair. I just want to make sure everything's copacetic on the up and up. Listen, I know how you're feeling. There's a lot of screaming and yelling in our house last night. He said they're going to sweep. Did you hear that earlier? No. I wasn't listening. I didn't say that. Did you really? No, I did. You think they're going to sweep? I think, don't you think that the Spurs take game two?

46:35Rich Eisen:They better. Well, that's what C-Web said. Isn't that your, don't you have a lot of money on this? Women's Sports Now, everybody. Women's Sports Now coming up at 6 p.m. Eastern time on the ESPN app and the Disney family of networks. We're back to wrap this up on Disney Plus in a second. Thanks for listening to the Rich Eisen Show podcast. You can watch and listen to The Rich Eisen Show live weekdays from noon to 3 Eastern on ESPN Radio, Disney Plus, and on the ESPN app. The Rich Eisen Show, the podcast.

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