In short
Romesh and his mum Shanthi argue about “control” in family life—especially Romesh’s failure to invite/visit, Shanthi’s expectations about when she’s allowed to come to his house, and gender-role dynamics at in-laws. They also discuss dating/what Shanthi looks for in a man, and react to a clip from Jameela Jamil’s previous episode about an orgasm allegedly witnessed by “6,000 farmers,” questioning whether it’s true.
Guest backgrounds
No external guests. Shanthi Ranganathan is Romesh’s mum; she’s a recurring co-host and offers blunt, personal opinions.
Key claims
Shanthi says women should be free to talk about sex, but also calls Jamil’s story potentially a “lie” for entertainment. For dating, Shanthi claims she’s not dating and judges men mainly by looks, with “sharpness/pepper” and how they speak/approach her.
Notable examples
Shanthi “turns up” to see Romesh’s son Alex after being ignored by texts; Chelsea’s question about being forced to help in the kitchen while in-laws watch football; Shanthi’s “farmers” orgasm discussion; Shanthi’s “simp” stories about men financially over-controlling women.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOTraveling Together
0:45 to 3:20
Romesh and Shanthi discuss their recent trip and family gatherings.
“I always find that slightly nerve-wracking.”
Miscommunication and Etiquette
3:20 to 5:50
Shanthi shares her thoughts on communication mishaps within the family.
“That's the time she will be in a good mood.”
Reflections on Grandchildren
5:50 to 8:20
Romesh and Shanthi reflect on the changing roles with grandchildren.
“I've actually really got 30 to 45 seconds to actually get all this in.”
Discussing Guests and Texting
8:20 to 11:40
The duo discusses their guest Jameela Jamil and texting habits.
“You should, mum, don't forget to watch that.”
Understanding Orgasms and Curiosity
11:40 to 12:09
Romesh and Shanthi dive into a humorous discussion about orgasms.
“Yeah, and then be accused of being a liar publicly.”
Understanding Orgasms and Curiosity
12:12 to 13:32
Romesh and Shanthi dive into a humorous discussion about orgasms.
“You've watched the YouTube reviews, you've done the smug nod at the dealership, you've even said things like instant talk in conversation.”
Audience Questions on Relationships
13:38 to 14:03
Romesh and Shanthi answer audience questions about gender roles in relationships.
“Mum, we like to have some questions and advice requests from the audience, don't we?”
Dealing with In-Law Gender Roles
14:03 to 19:18
Learn strategies for navigating traditional gender roles during family visits.
“Whenever I go to my partner's parents for Sunday lunch, his mum always ropes me into helping in the kitchen, while him and his dad sit and watch the football.”
Addressing Household Responsibilities
19:19 to 21:20
Discover how to approach household chores during family gatherings to maintain balance.
“why does she have to go and slave around in the kitchen?”
Shanti's Dating Preferences
21:21 to 22:56
Explore Shanti's thoughts on dating and what she looks for in a partner.
“So you come to me for some time for dinner, the whole family come.”
Show all 14 chapters
Insights into Attractiveness and Interaction
22:57 to 28:01
Discuss the importance of physical attraction and interaction in dating scenarios.
“But you don't want to be ungrateful so you get double apples.”
Romesh and His Mother's Relationship Insights
28:01 to 30:08
Explore the humorous dynamics of Romesh's relationship with his mother, including her expectations of love and relationships.
“Last time I told you, you know, they will touch you.”
Romesh and His Mother's Relationship Insights
30:11 to 34:39
Explore the humorous dynamics of Romesh's relationship with his mother, including her expectations of love and relationships.
“That's why they're spending the big bucks.”
Discussion on Simping and Family Dynamics
34:40 to 36:58
Romesh and his mother delve into the concept of 'simping' and share anecdotes about family interactions and support.
“And on control, have you heard of simping?”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Romesh Ranganathan:Welcome back. I'm trying to go for more higher energy. Please do. Welcome back to the Thursday edition of the Romesh Ranganathan show.
0:13Romesh Ranganathan:I'm joined as always by my lovely mum Shanthi Ranganathan. Last saw her getting turfed out of a hotel in Epping, but she's here and we are delighted to have her. Every Thursday, we look back at Monday's episode. Here's some of your stories and tales. Mum shares one of her topics. Basically, it's just me and my mum having a chat, except you're all invited. How are you, mum? I'm fine. Thank you, Romesh. How are you? Really good, thank you. We had a nice ride up here. We travelled together, didn't we? Yeah. I always find that slightly nerve-wracking. It's not. I always think that you are on the phone, so I stopped talking now.
0:58Romesh Ranganathan:Oh, I was genuinely about to say it felt better today and I couldn't figure out why, but there's the answer. Yeah, you are. Last time we came on Thursday, then you said, oh, Sunday, Mum, you can come and see Charlie, Alex, Alex, his birthday that I did give the present. I have been calling since morning to find out the time because I had to make an appointment to come and see my own son. Okay? You didn't answer the phone. Can I say something in my defence? What defence? You were free that day. I was, yeah. Yeah. I had arranged to watch the football with Alex. Yeah. And one of the things I've tried to do is not look at my phone when I'm at home.
1:46What did happen was half time came around. Yeah.
1:49Romesh Ranganathan:I looked at my phone. Yeah. And then there's a message saying, when can I come? The next message is, I'm coming. The next message, get ready. Then the next message, I'll be there in five minutes. And then the final message, I'm outside. That's what I did. So you just turned up? And Alex was standing on the door, front door. I said, hello, Grandma. I thought, does he expect me to give the present and walk off? I said, no. I just walked in. I know, what a little prick. He opened the door for you. You must have told him. I must speak to him about opening the front door when people arrive. It really is poor etiquette.
2:21When I read the spiritual books, they said the grandchildren doesn't belong to you.
2:28Romesh Ranganathan:Correct. That sounds more factual than spiritual.
2:35When you don't go and advise, don't go and poke your nose with the grandchildren.
2:40Romesh Ranganathan:A spiritual book said this? It said that. Is it written by Ramesh Rangadhan? I don't remember writing that book. When they grow up, now you don't need me. Who doesn't need you? My boys don't need me. So they are reluctant. Weren't we talking about grandchildren? Right. That topic is over. Okay. Now I'm attacking you. I need to introduce you at this late stage to full stop. Now, they don't need me anymore. You're doing a stream of consciousness thing where you're saying everything you're angry with me about in one go. I'm not angry. Sir, when did I come to your house? How many times have I been?
3:17Shut up, Romain. How many times I have been to your house Since you moved into your new house I don't know You're never there Why can't I come Lisa can make me coffee
3:29Romesh Ranganathan:Okay well speak to Lisa about it Lisa doesn't answer my phone She didn't answer one text And I hear about it every week ever since then She didn't reply to one text from you When you're making love talk to her nicely Please can you answer my mum's text Do you like it Do you like not responding to my mother?
3:52That's the time she will be in a good mood.
3:55Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, well, it's normally only on my birthday. Because you're feeding her. Feeding her? Mum, what the fuck are you talking about? This is so much worse than any... Like, if you'd literally designed the most horrific conversation I could have with my mum, I couldn't have come up with this. This is horrible. When you're making love, tell her to keep in touch with me. correct her and remember you're feeding her what is this? what's the word I can say I'm not English but I can say you are actually you passed the test by the way so Stephen Yaxley Tommy Robinson stick out I'll be a fucking bonnet she's a British citizen now so stop emailing her and we're live on match day as Doug reaches for a buffalo wing he's got it oh and he's gone for a can of Pepsi too What a finish!
4:46Romesh Ranganathan:There's no doubt about it. It just tastes better. Match days deserve Pepsi.
5:14Romesh Ranganathan:of FIFA World Cup 26. Aye, oh, let's go. Aye, oh, let's go. So Shanti, what do you mean by feeding her? Feeding her? Pumping her? Chom, chom. I'm really sorry about that. Okay, should we move on? Okay. All right. But I didn't bring the same time. Oh, go on, carry on, what is it? That's the time you should tell her. When I'm pumping her? Whatever, whatever you do. Yeah. Or stroking her. Smashing her, giving it to her, good. Yeah, go on. Yeah? You are saying it's bad. Now you're putting new words in. No, I'm running with the bit. Sorry, anyway. I apologise. Mummy's alone. She doesn't have any siblings.
5:54Romesh Ranganathan:Mummy's alone. Yeah. She doesn't have any siblings. So you have to hold on to it. Don't let it down. I've actually really got 30 to 45 seconds to actually get all this in. So this feels like... You are not like the birds, isn't it? The birds? Two seconds when they make love. Done. Finished.
6:14That's it done there. Done. Flown away. I don't expect you to do that.
6:21Romesh Ranganathan:Okay, good. Don't look around for approval from these animals. Okay, you said some really horrible things. I am not saying the horrible thing. You are. How many times I have visited your house? Answer me. Mum, so many times you've come to my house. No, only any function. And listen, by the way, you're in my house. How long have you been living there? Five years. Five years. I think so. So count, how many times? I don't know, mum. You've come round loads. You've come round to my house more than I've come to yours. You don't want to come. So, okay. So let's just get this in. When you don't come to my house, it's my fault.
6:56Romesh Ranganathan:When I'm not in your house, it's my fault. So what I want to know is, at what point do you take any responsibility for what's going on? You are a lazy fucker, you are.
7:07He is. Oh, he thinks, What am I going to gain by going to my house, mum's house? Wear a nice trouser. If I don't dress up well, she will pick on me. So rather stay at home with your ugly clothes.
7:25Romesh Ranganathan:This is insane. Yeah. Fuck me, this is brutal. One day... What happens? Do I relay this or do we just send this clip to my therapist?
7:41It's the Romance Right guy Nathan Show With me Shanti
7:48Romesh Ranganathan:So on Monday We had the brilliant Jameela Jamil On the show She's very good Do you like Jameela Jamil? Yes I do What's her favourite Thing of yours? No I haven't met her You like The Good Place Do you like The Good Place? Good Place What's that? The show Ted Danson Ted Danson Jameela Jamil She plays It's a great show. I've watched it loads. It's about existence. This is what I'm expecting from you. What do you mean? There are some nice shows because I'm with you. I'm doing podcasts. You should, mum, don't forget to watch that. Do I get any texts from you? Hello, mum, how are you? Am I dead or alive?
8:33That's it.
8:34Romesh Ranganathan:What's happening? Do you require any stimulus from me to just continue chantering away? No, no. you should text me mum there's a nice program on Netflix or my program is coming what you then tell me how you feel about that do you ever do that? look I do not want you to tell me your conversation your conversation is how are you mum? okay? that's it anyway we had Jamila Jamil on somehow that's led to me not texting mum yet again let's have a little should we have a little look at a clip from the Jamila Jamil podcast? please okay I've got one here for you, Shans. I think you'll like her, Mum. Very pretty.
9:13Romesh Ranganathan:Did talk about having an orgasm in front of 6 ,000 farmers already. What? Do you want to know? Yeah. I'm sorry. If somebody says to you, if somebody says to you, I had an orgasm in front of 6 ,000 farmers, and then you go, no further questions.
9:34Romesh Ranganathan:How lacking in curiosity would I have to be? When somebody is having orgasm, nobody will know. What do you mean? Unless you scream.
9:47How will they know?
9:48Romesh Ranganathan:I've got to be honest with you, this is like an anxiety. Do you know when your wife has orgasm? Yeah, she says it like this. Ramesh, can you finish? I've got what I want from this. Your sex life is no good, is it? Very pathetic. So in answer to your question, the farmers didn't know she had an orgasm. It was like the vibrations of the thing were sending her into it. But she didn't go. She didn't like, do you know what I mean? So they didn't know. I mean, one of them might have done, but how do you say that? If you're in the crowd and you think it looks like she's had an orgasm, I think it takes somebody very front-footed, maybe a Sri Lankan woman in her 70s, to go up to that person and say, I think you had an orgasm.
10:34Romesh Ranganathan:Is that true? Do you know what I mean? I won't ask her. No. Well, she said it. She did have an orgasm. It's just for the talk she's saying. No, it did happen. What do you mean it's just for the talk? So you're saying she's lying? I think she is. Oh. To make the program interesting. Right. If you mention orgasm, everybody likes it. Do they? Yeah. They will listen. That's why. Okay. I know women's tricks. You know women's tricks? Oh, yeah. The old orgasm in front of some farmer's trick. Okay, all right. So Michael Sheen, you've not heard of, Jamila Jamil's a liar. I'm going to tell you this. Really enjoying getting your take on our guests.
11:14Romesh Ranganathan:Can I ask Shanti a follow-up question based on Jamila Jamil? John, be really careful. John, you've got a lot of follow-up questions, John. You seem particularly interesting. What do you mean by feeding was your last one? My question, Shanti, is do you think it's good that women now are more free and more, it's more sort of acceptable for women to talk about sex? This is a great question. I like that. Yes, they should talk about it. And what do you say to her? You are doing it all the time. Let them talk and enjoy. Yeah, and then be accused of being a liar publicly. I think it's sweet. I would like to find out what kind of orgasms she had.
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13:42Romesh Ranganathan:Mum, we like to have some questions and advice requests from the audience, don't we? Yeah, sure. Ideally in voice notes or emails. So what have we got, Ben? I think some dating related questions. Great, great news. I was hoping we were going to keep it in this area. Okay. Hi Ramesh and Shanti, it's Chelsea. Whenever I go to my partner's parents for Sunday lunch, his mum always ropes me into helping in the kitchen, while him and his dad sit and watch the football. I don't even think they realise they're doing it, it's just automatic. So my question is, how do you deal with in-laws who still live by those old gender roles?
14:22do you play along or do you say something uh chelsea what was that the end i just went thanks
14:29Romesh Ranganathan:oh right okay sorry um chelsea thank you so much for your question mum what's your take i will first question obvious one did you understand what she said she's asking about my my in-law no okay your in-law no then when she goes to her in-laws ah right her mother-in-law always ropes her into helping out in the kitchen whilst her other half and his dad. Slaving around in the kitchen? No. I think a good strategy is to not finish the sentences. Okay, I'll wait. Right. Whenever she goes to her in-laws, the mum gets her to help in the kitchen. Ah, right. And him and the dad sit and watch football while they're slaving away.
15:14Romesh Ranganathan:It's very traditional, stereotypical male and female, a bit old-fashioned. she's saying, should she go along with it or should she say something? And if so, when and in what context? That lady who asked the question, she's educated, isn't she? I've got as much information as you have. The way she speaks. She's well-spoken, yeah. Break the ice. Just go and say, come on, we'll watch a film together. Let's finish in the kitchen and just create another scene. Go and sit there. All of them can sit and talk. I don't understand. So what you're saying is, the two things they want to get accomplished, what they want to get accomplished is watch the football.
15:57Football, they can record it and watch it later.
16:01Romesh Ranganathan:Oh, my God. That's not a solution. Are you joking? What are you talking about? Record it? Yeah. Record it? You want to watch it and scream. Oh, score! Like that. Is it?
Read the full transcript
16:19That's what you do.
16:20Romesh Ranganathan:Do you know what that will remind me of? You know when you watch an American film and one of the characters is watching football? That's the sort of thing that they say. Kick it. Kick it. Oh, score. Nobody says that. I found it. It's happening so many times in your house. Yeah. You try to show how much you like football. Getting the attention. Oh, my God. My son likes football so much. Shouting and screaming. Why? Be calm. So, Mum, you think that when I shout to an Arsenal score, it's for your benefit? Not my benefit. For whose benefit? Showing off. To who? To me. Okay. So that's what I meant by your benefit.
17:01So you can't avoid talking to me.
17:03Romesh Ranganathan:Is part of what you're saying you think it's slightly performative? It is. Like, do you think that actually Romesh isn't a football fan? He pretends to be, to sort of what? To give character or personality that he doesn't have? I had experience. Claire and Dinesh were living with me. And why are you going like this? I just don't understand. First of all, can I just say, let me just get this out of the way. Chelsea, sorry. Your question is not going to get answered. Anyway, carry on with this. Chelsea's asked what she should do at the in-laws and now we're hearing about Din and Claire living at your house.
17:38Romesh Ranganathan:This is 20th century. Oh, you go and watch. Do you think Chelsea is going to go home and the husband would have had a year full. She's asking what to do. Anyway, carry on telling us about Dinesh. Right. And Ranga used to come completely drunk and I cooked all different food and he comes, he will eat and go to sleep. So Claire asked me, you are slaving around in the kitchen in the morning and he comes, had his lunch and fall asleep in the city. What kind of life is this? Claire said that. Yes, she did. She said, what kind of life is this? Not what kind of life. She said, just did this. Right. Then only this dumb idiot understood.
18:24This is not life. He should talk to me. He should spend time with us.
18:30Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. Little did she know he'd be dead soon. Problem solved. Okay. Okay.
18:44Anyway. So in a way, in a way, you're saying that Chelsea should talk.
18:53Romesh Ranganathan:Oh, let's answer the question. I know it's expertly done, John. I mean, that is what a leap. Can I just tell you, Chelsea, this is what I think. I actually think the situation is unacceptable. Okay? I don't think you should be going to your in-laws. This is my opinion. I don't think you'd be going to your in-laws and then having to slave away in the kitchen while your other half sits with his dad and watch the film. How has she got a lazy mother-in-law? How has she got a lazy mother-in-law? If she has organised and prepared a dish, why does she have to go and slave around in the kitchen? It's washing up afterwards.
19:25Dishwasher?
19:26Romesh Ranganathan:I guess they've got to load the dishwasher, stack it, or maybe they don't have a dishwasher. Not everybody's as well-equipped with a son that's going to pay for their kitchen as you are. The way she talks, definitely, they have a dishwasher. You can't tell someone's income. This is rubbish. You can't tell someone's income from their accent. I'm sorry. Anyway, the point I'm trying to make, Chelsea, rather than disputing what Chelsea's saying, why don't we try and address her problem? Okay. How will you solve the problem? Well, that's what I was trying to say before. You interrupted seven or eight times.
19:55All right. Come on then. Come on. Yeah.
19:58Romesh Ranganathan:Okay. In my opinion, it needs dealing with. Okay. I don't think Chelsea should have to keep doing that because what's going to happen is going to lead to long-term resentment and eventually you get to the point where her other half is going to go, can we go see my mum and dad? And Chelsea's going to go, do you know, I don't actually want to do that because I know what that looks like. And it looks like me trying to help out in the kitchen while you have a nice little time. You don't want to get to that stage. You want to get what a healthy situation is, is to look forward to go and visit your in-laws and have a nice time there.
20:26Romesh Ranganathan:So how do you make that happen? You have to change your current situation, in my opinion. What you can't do or what you shouldn't do is make a scene then and there. I think if it's an ongoing problem, you speak to your other half and you go, look, I had a night. You have to be very careful because people get very defensive about their parents. So you have to say, look, I obviously love coming to see your parents. Is it possible? So rather than it being accusatory, you kind of make it a bit more like, can we work on this together? Is it possible that we could maybe look to a situation where maybe you're taking turns to help your mum?
21:02Romesh Ranganathan:Or maybe wouldn't it be cool if all of us did the kitchen stuff and then moved on to watch? just to try and raise that later on so that the next time he can be a bit more proactive in tackling the situation. In my house? That is my opinion. Okay. Do you want to just let the sentence finish before you start? Okay, yeah, sorry. Come on, go ahead, go. What's your take on my take, I guess? This is how conversations work. So you come to me for some time for dinner, the whole family come. So I have to have cooked everything. What they do, we sit and eat and we talk and laugh and Lisa and Claire will say, no we'll we'll clean everything you sit there and they do help me to take the dishes in done i said leave it i can put them in the dishwasher so we all go to the sitting room and have a good time yeah why can't the chelsea do that's well that was sort of my advice you are a liar no well i'm with shanti on one thing i don't believe that you would do that i because i think you're like me i don't think you would ever confront that issue i i'm getting lots of apples at the moment.
22:06Romesh Ranganathan:Bit of a weird flex. Sorry, Ben. What do you mean you're getting lots of apples? From the tree this year, they produce so many apples. Okay, fine. Where are you? I'm sitting opposite you. Try responding to me in the same way. Don't you listen to the news and things? The news? Oh, yeah. That's right. I went on BBC News and said, Ben's tree is producing a lot of apples. It was just above Gaza. I'm not talking about Ben's tree. What are you talking about? in the news they said this year the fruit okay I didn't know do you have an apple tree I've got a situation at home where my in-laws have an apple tree and it produces loads of apples so we get given hundreds of apples and apple like pies apple crumbles apple with pork but my dad with pork yeah pork and apple you don't know any clue about these things you don't know about apples listen I know about apples I know that apples go with pork no he doesn't know anything the apple thing you just have no clue about and it's weird listen I get apple crumble do you know what we want to give Ben and Georgie some apples but we don't want to give them on their own let's send a pig alongside it it's quite a big garnish isn't it?
23:31Romesh Ranganathan:The pork and apple was delicious. But my dad also has an apple tree. Right. So he also gives me apples. But you don't want to be ungrateful so you get double apples. But I can't eat that many because they're not eating apples, they're cooking apples. What do you call them? Crab apples. Are you okay? There's a name for it. Yeah, crab apples. But that's not what he's talking about. No. But anyway, I get lots of apples. My point being, I don't feel comfortable ever saying guys we've got enough apples and that's quite a low level problem and I think you're similar to me so I don't think you would say I'm not happy with this situation I don't feel like I should be helping cooking I think we should all cook together I don't think you're that as mature as you came across there is that fair?
24:18Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah you're absolutely right Sorry can I just get back to the question Chelsea's asking what she should do Got you Actually in fairness the wording is what would you you do in that situation? And the truth is, what I would do is I would hold that deep inside, and every time we suggested going around there, I would find an excuse. Good advice. Thank you. Sorry for interrupting the Ramesh Ranganathan show, but there's another Ramesh Ranganathan show, Parents Evening, starting on ITV1 this Saturday, straight after the 1 % Club. I hope you enjoy it. If you don't, don't tell me. If you've ever blasted synth beats from your boombox or burn CDs for your besties, this one's for you.
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25:26Romesh Ranganathan:Okay, let's have the next one. hi shanti and ramesh i'm emir and i'm a dating coach and i was wondering i'm often speaking to women who've been single for years and they don't know where to start with dating and trying to find somebody shanti are you dating and what would you look for okay i think this is a question i told in the car i'm not dating yeah she wasn't in the car with us so that's probably why that question has been asked? The people who are approaching me, they're the wrong people. So what do I do? I don't fancy them. I don't like them. Okay. So I don't know what to do. Okay. So who was the last...
26:08Maybe they just want to, oh, poor woman, she hasn't had it for a long time. Just play around and leave her and go. So I'm not dating anyway. I'm not dating.
26:19Romesh Ranganathan:Okay. Would you like to date? Depends on how he looks. Okay. And it purely depends on how he looks? Yes. You don't care about any other qualities? No. Money, I don't need money. I'm okay. You are providing, so I don't need it. So you don't care about anything apart from how he looks? So who was the last man that approached you? How can I talk about that? No, I'm not asking for a name and address. Just like, what's the context? So what do I say for them? You can describe them, can't you? Describe them. They can work it out. That man will work it out. Oh, bloody bitch is talking about me. So where did it happen?
26:58Romesh Ranganathan:Yes, no description. Where did it happen? Anything. Flag it off and start asking another question. Where did it happen? Happened what? The guy approaching you. Where did it happen? I can't tell you. I'm going to tell you what I think. Yeah. I think about your story about the man approaching you in the same way that you think about Jamila's story about the orgasm. More simply, I think you're lying. You're a man, aren't you? Yes. Okay. I hope so.
27:28and you don't need a place. When you are talking to them, their body, the way they move around, can't tell.
27:37Romesh Ranganathan:Okay, so that you won't actually proposition. Then other thing they will say, oh, you look so beautiful. Right. I'm over 70. Yeah. You can still be beautiful. You're a beautiful woman. You don't, you know, you're not on the scrap heap. Is your personality toxic? Coming from you, I'm shocked. No, but you're beautiful, very beautiful. Yeah, the way they talk to me. Yeah, they go, you're so beautiful. Last time I told you, you know, they will touch you. Yeah. So something on your face. Yeah. Then they poke it like that.
28:12Romesh Ranganathan:So they say there's something on your face, then poke it. Face it, do this. Right, they brush it away. Oh, brush it away. Yeah. You are quite messy when you eat. You sometimes get crumbs in your beard.
28:28You mustn't talk about your mother like that. Sorry. Do you ever get approached?
28:32Romesh Ranganathan:No. Never? But people have told me, I won't mention the name. They said, oh, I love romance. Yeah, but that's not, we're talking about two different things. I'm interested in you and you are such a good boy and very generous and make them laugh. Yeah. That's all the women need. Yeah. And you need to have a good pepper.
28:58Romesh Ranganathan:But in answer to your question, Ben, no. You know what pepper is. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we do. In fact, I... No point. No sharpness. Sharpness? No sharpness. All I meant was, you have to, then the weapon should be really active. Yeah. Okay, let's have the next one. Okay. Fucking hell. Is it okay that this is, is this usable? So just to be clear, what you're, if you were looking for a man, Shanti, it looks for you. Yeah. Just looks. Yeah. And what should he look like? And a weapon. Why have you brought, we're trying to move it away from that. I don't think we're okay. It's the whole point, John asked the follow-up question.
29:38Romesh Ranganathan:You told me about. And what about his cock? we're trying to move it away because it's been very it's been very penile so far it's been quite base you can't have the whole episode I like the way I'm open with you I'm talking I will be able to talk to you about everything yeah you don't get angry I don't get angry have you ever seen you know those like patio doors where it's like double yeah sometimes I'd love one of them to be shut I try to keep my mouth open no I'm just saying conversation wise okay this is the part of the show which comes courtesy of our sponsor. Santander. Yeah! Come on! Woo!
30:19Romesh Ranganathan:There you go. That's why they're spending the big bucks. It's where I ask mum a question relating to one of the benefits of the Santander Edge credit card. And this week's question, mum, is all about control because with the Santander Edge credit card, you can pay off your balance little and often throughout the month as you could have up to 56 days interest-free. so you have control of how you're paying off. You're not panicking. That's very helpful. Yes. When I was struggling. The question hasn't come yet. You're asking me a question? No, the question hasn't come yet. Okay. At no point in this bit have I asked you a question yet.
30:53No, you haven't.
30:54Romesh Ranganathan:Here's the question now. Ready yourself. Get on your haunches. Here's the question. Mum, if you could control one part of my life now, what would it be? Your life. My life. Okay My life, my life, my life, my life Enough Invite your mother More often Okay And don't Can I be the first one to say Kel surprise What I don't understand I nearly fell off my chair I don't understand this When you are not at home Yeah I can't go there You can go there Nobody's at home Well How the hell am I going to get in? Why do you want to go in my house when nobody's there? Lisa is there. Okay, so then text Lisa. Why do I have to orchestrate you going to my house when I'm not there?
31:47Romesh Ranganathan:I would like some... Actually, Santander Edge, I would like some control myself, actually. Okay? Control what? You thinking that it's my responsibility for you to come to my house when I'm not there. Text Lisa. Text Lisa. Yeah. So what would you change? What would I change? Control. How would you control me? Apart from... Yeah, I will... If you talk to me about your finance, I can tell you. But you never talk about your finance. You're okay. Why would I talk to you about my finance? How can I control you then? No, but... Don't spend money on this. It's not like... One thing about my life would you control?
32:28Romesh Ranganathan:Not would you like to control me like a puppet? I like to see you more. Okay. And I have been sending messages. Yeah. You just ignore it. It's very sad. You don't know how long I'm going to be in this earth. I've got an idea. It's not going to be ages.
32:47I'd like to see you more.
32:49Romesh Ranganathan:No, I get that. Fine, fine. But you see me a lot. I send you a video. Okay. Can we talk about the videos, by the way? Oh, right. Okay. You sent me a video of a spin class. Yes. Why? What does it say in that sentence? What does it say? Think carefully. What does it say? I'm alive. I'm so much involved in that. I'm saying I'm still alive. Don't forget me. Okay. Right. How can I? In all seriousness, okay, but if I'm away, I'm away. What do you want me to do? Let's try and come up with a resolution here because it'd be great to put this to bed. So what would you like me to do? How would you like me to change?
33:22Romesh Ranganathan:Maybe I'll make your wish. Imagine I'm going to change my behavior in the way that you want. Go for it. If I can. I'm willing to give you whatever you want, provided I'm able to do it. Go. Invite me. Invite you. Invite Dinesh. Invite Dinesh. Give an amount, Shanti. I think you need to say how often. Give an amount, Shanti. Give an amount. It's too abstract. If you're in control of the whole family for one day, what's the first rule you would make? Which family? My family? No. Just choose any family in the world. What do you think? If you're in charge, if you could control... Right, okay. I like to see you once a month.
33:57Let me cook.
33:58Romesh Ranganathan:Okay. And we'll have a family talk. Yeah. And see more often... like seeing you at Christmas. I like to see more, the family. Get together once a month. Okay, once a month. If you're in control of the whole family, we'd get together once a month. Once a month, yeah. Okay, mum, can you do the tagline? You know what the tagline is? No. Pay smarter with a Santander Edge credit card. Pay smarter with a Santander Edge credit card. Yeah, really good. 37.8 % APR representative variable. Monthly fee applies. Credit subject to status and eligibility. T's and C's apply. Visit Santander's website for more detail.
34:42Romesh Ranganathan:And on control, have you heard of simping? Do you think I'm a simp? No, no. I just wanted to be like what your take on simping was. What is the official definition of simping? It's like somebody that's just like really under the... Often it's like women, and I think often online, financially controlling men. like to make money so we oh is it yeah okay it's like so oh so this is a bit i'm a bit of a simp here aren't i in this relationship would you say i don't think i'm gonna comment i feel like i don't know but i just well you raised it i just want it was just an interesting that i saw a documentary about it right and they like it was just there was this one woman mothers and sons no there was one woman that had this guy online and he had paid for her to go all the way through university for like three years or like pay for a rent pay for everything he paid for for all of it turns out she never went to university oh i didn't quite get well i mean it felt like that was the obvious okay got it you'd opened it with simping and all that oh yeah i'll tell you a story did you read that did you hear that story but they did a story about that guy that was like um who was really worried about his mum because she was working too much and so he was like you need to stop working as much she's like working like six days a week and seven days she she's working six days with this i'm talking about a different i don't know okay she's working six days a week and he said you've got to stop like working as much she said well i need the money so at least drop down to five days and i'll pay you for the i'll give you the money out of my own pocket for the saturday and she said okay i'll do that and so he paid like really nice thing he paid for her to um to not have to work Saturday and a year later he found that she'd be going in on Saturday anyway
36:35does that story sound familiar mum very familiar yeah it's me anyway
36:42Romesh Ranganathan:uh okay that is it for this Thursday's episode of the Romesh Ranganathan show uh please keep sending in your questions and stories and they'll be received in the horrible nature that today's ones have been. We're going to be back Monday with another brilliant guest. Thanks to Santander and thanks to you lot. Say goodbye, mum. Bye-bye. Have a good day. Bye. Bye. Take care. Take care. Love you. Love you too. Be kind. Do as we say, not as we do. It's toxic here.
37:15Romesh Ranganathan:if you've enjoyed this episode of the Ramesh Ranganathan show make sure you follow wherever you get your podcasts Apple, Spotify, YouTube, all the big ones and you can enjoy more great content like this and in fact I'd go further to say even if you didn't enjoy this episode just follow anyway for shits and giggles and on the Thursday episode we're going to be taking questions from viewers and listeners oh so that's exciting isn't it it's interesting yeah and if you've got an interesting story or a question for my mum and I, or even like a family dilemma you'd like us to help you with, please do get in touch via our email address podcast at rangaby.com or you can voice note or text on this number.
37:54Romesh Ranganathan:07731 6233 55. I'm Ramesh Ranganathan and this has been The Ramesh Ranganathan Show. What a narcissist. See you next time. Oh, shut up, Ramesh. Uncovered windows can make your home feel up to 20 degrees hotter. Stay cool and save up to 50 % off custom window treatments during the 4th of July mega sale at blinds.com from outdoor shades to room darkening blinds finding the perfect fit is easy get free samples expert design help and professional measure and install services or diy with confidence and support every step of the way shop up to 50 % off site-wide plus huge savings on doorbusters right now during the 4th of July mega sale at blinds.com you want to get your backyard summer ready but you don't want to break the bank?
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From the publisher
Join Romesh and Shanthi as they argue about spending time together, reply to awkward questions about dating, and react to Jameela Jamil's embarrassing story.
Presented By Santander - Pay Smarter with a Santander Edge credit card. Find out more at www.santander.co.uk/personal/credit-cards
A Ranga Bee Production in partnership with Listen.
00:00 Family time
03:50 Weird Bedroom Talk
07:00 On Jameela Jamil
08:50 Reacting to Jameela’s DJ Story
13:00 Audience Questions: In-laws
21:10 Ben’s Apples
24:21 Shanthi Are You Dating?
28:56 Controlling Romesh’s Life
33:00 Shanthi Nails the Santander Line
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