Daisy May Cooper & Charlie Cooper: Ghost Hunts, Sibling Rivalry & Threadworm

23:29Well, yeah, that was the weirdest thing. It was like we did a telepathy test. Right. And we got six out of, no, what was it? It was five out of five. Five out of five. And the chances of us doing that was like 600 and... 600 to one. To one, which was mad, which shows like, I don't know, that there's something between us. It was either blind luck or... But I don't know, I think there's something in that.

23:56Romesh Ranganathan:Have you experienced any other evidence of telepathy apart from this five question test? We have weird things where we'll be thinking about the same, like you'll message me in the morning about something. Are you horny?

24:14That's my sister, man. What the fuck? Are you horny? come on

24:30Romesh Ranganathan:no sorry god I'm so sorry I don't know what I was going to say you think about the same thing yeah just weird synchronicities like that you'd be thinking about the same thing or have the same idea or you'd be thinking about a person that I don't know yeah from like primary school and stuff but do you ever have those weird synchronicity things that happen where you'll be like reading a book and then you'll hear a word as you read the word on the page. Well, yeah, that does happen. But that's just, of course that's going to happen if you read enough. Yeah, yeah, I guess so. It's difficult to know whether that's like, because I think like if you're, you know, if you're cynical about it, you think it's just confirmation bias, right?

25:13Romesh Ranganathan:Whereas like if you look for something for long enough, you will find evidence of it, do you know what I mean? Yeah. If you're a cynic on it, then you just won't ever see anything like that, And I think it's kind of where your attitude lies on that scale. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, completely. But for me, it's like, I went through a weird thing of just seeing the digits 11-11 everywhere. Oh, everyone. I know. Was it a specific time? Don't be rude. Come on, you've already said I sleep with my sister. In my defence, Daisy said that. That's true. I was merely doing a call back to something she'd initially suggested what I mean is it's like I don't know my mum's going to watch this well she's going to be furious with you two I bet she had no idea oh my god she'll be waiting to know about the kids doing DNA on the kids is my vote down there

26:16it's by your foot What is that test? That telepathy? How does it work? You have to choose from the triangle and the wavy lines.

26:26Romesh Ranganathan:Have we got some pen and paper? Should we try it now? No, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, definitely. Anything to stop talking about us. Fucking sure. Do anything. So should we say it at the same time? No, I think we should give you... I think you should draw it, yeah. Draw it, draw it, draw it. How many symbols was it? Three or four? Four, wasn't it? It was square, star, wavy line, circle, triangle. Yeah, that's what I've got. Square, wavy line, circle. Oh, no, it's not a triangle, it's a cross. Oh, yeah, and a cross. Why don't I show Charlie the symbol, and then Daisy, you try and guess what symbol.

27:04Romesh Ranganathan:Does that make sense? Yeah. Okay. And I'll write it down. All right. Okay, so I'll show you, Charlie. It's just one. Yeah, should I show you? Oh, do you want to write down one specifically? Okay. Oh, no. Yeah, because I've got to choose. Okay, fine. All right, go on then.

27:29Just drawing it.

27:31Romesh Ranganathan:Shall we put some sort of eerie music under this? Yeah, can we get someone to play it live? Now, do I look at it? Okay, don't, don't. Okay, so. I can show the camera. You show the camera then. For the audio listeners, Charlie has drawn a square. And then shall I show the symbols? And then shall I just show Daisy the symbols so she can call it out? Yeah. I mean, arguably this test needed some prep, but... This is great. This is great. It's good spontaneous stuff. Okay.

28:04Cross. Wavy lines.

28:07Romesh Ranganathan:No, no, no. It's over. It's over. Yeah, if you get it wrong once. it's not can you read out all of them eventually did he get to the one but okay no it's definitely square wow holy shit man I don't think I'm in the mood to do it no you need to have a copy that's a good point telepathy is a lot on mood we did say in all seriousness I do think you have to have better conditions than this yes is the truth maybe so can I ask a question yeah you two first of all I'm just going to gas you up a little bit one of the things that I love about you is that you're just unadulteratedly yourselves and you've achieved success through just being yourselves I never feel like you're doing anything because you just you think you should be doing it I never you know you're always like you do stuff that you think is great what about his Argos adverts?

29:01look did you

29:02Romesh Ranganathan:I didn't know you did an Argos did you do an Argos adverts? there's a dinosaur in it oh I love that advert are you the dinosaur in that? it's great who doesn't love Argos? I love it when the front of the shop's tiny and they've got a big magical warehouse you can't have to that's not my favourite type of retail do you ever go there and just go wonder what's back there he worked in one yeah I did too who is up there well I did the item picking that was the best bit and putting it on the conveyor it feels amazing you get the little ticket through and then just running around the warehouse looking for it and then you put it on the conveyor and you think Somebody down there is about to have an amazing time.

29:42Romesh Ranganathan:It's like supermarket sweet, isn't it? We should do that as a show. Here we go. So you can, what, take a sleeping pill? And then be unconscious in the back of the warehouse while I run around picking items? That sounds great, Daisy. Yeah, sign me up. Listen, you may have mugged off your brother. I'm not falling for that. Oh, my God. You've been found out, and that's brilliant. So what did you do, Naga? Well, you do lots of different things, right? I was on tills quite a lot. I wasn't very good. I gave away a computer by accident. Not the till. Not the till, but someone came in to return a broken computer, what they thought was broken.

30:26I can't quite remember. My memory's a bit hazy, but I ended up basically giving him two computers. And I got in massive trouble. Holy shit. but I think it and I was just Christmas stuff but they didn't keep me on sadly I worked on I did

30:43Romesh Ranganathan:warehouse for a bit picking the items then I did till for a bit and then but most of my time I spent doing uh customer returns oh and that is that is I would say it's the worst of humanity yeah did you yeah did you bother actually checking if the stuff was still in the box and stuff not always because the truth is i'm not being funny if argos want me to check the box pay me more because i my options are i examine this it's not there and then have an argument with the customer or somebody else deals with it down the line do you know i mean and that was always my option because it's like you're getting paid it's it was shit money when i was there yeah and then somebody comes up to you and goes i've got this and you sort of shake it it sounds like a broken mirror, supposed to be a telephone, I'll accept it.

31:36Romesh Ranganathan:I am not going to look any further, is the honest truth. But is it worse for the person further down the line then at the warehouse? Am I, are you causing a problem for somebody else? Yeah. Is it a selfish thing to do? Absolutely. A hundred percent. And I do want to apologize to whoever it was that had to deal with all of that shit. I did have one guy who turned up with an iron, not in the box and it looked like it had been used quite a lot and he said I want to return this now at that point you know he wanted a refund yeah at that point even I cannot accept just an eye this guy's found so I said to him I'm not I can't I'm really sorry I can't do that and he goes can you speak to your manager I said can I speak to your manager I said of course I went out the back sort of looked around for a bit then came back out uh manager's unavailable and then he said um Well, I want to return this.

32:25Romesh Ranganathan:He said, you can't return it. He goes, well, I'm going to stay here until you refund me the sign. And then I said to him, we're just going to have to stand to one side. And he did. He stood to one side. Oh, my God. He said, I just want you to say, I'm never going to leave. Until you accept the return. Is he still there? Maybe. I mean, they've closed the Augustan, I think. This would make a really great modern Christmas carol, where it's like you get visited by three spirits. Yeah, one from the warehouse. Yeah, exactly. One on tills. Yeah. And someone that puts the pens out for the catalogs.

33:01Romesh Ranganathan:They don't do that anymore, do they? No. It's on a screen. That is a good idea, though. It's not a bad idea. And also, you get a corporate partnership, Argos, brought to you by Argos. Yeah. And it shows that guy going, finally leaving. Yeah. And he has got, like, nothing. Yeah. And his hair is really long and his nails. Why? He's been there 20 years. Oh, I see.

33:27Romesh Ranganathan:But surely he would have just plugged in nail clippers, waited for it to come down on the conveyor, cut his nails, would have got some of the wild clippers. That's true. Other clippers are available. That can be the comic relief during the... Yeah, maybe, maybe. Here's this. He is trapped in the shop bit of the store. He's never been able to get to the warehouse bit, but every time he orders something, it comes down. Yeah. There's some weird noises. He's trying to figure out what, creatures or things are, you know, picking the items. No. No? No. No? Why? What's wrong with that? No. No, okay, what do you want it to be?

34:04Romesh Ranganathan:Christmas carol. Okay, fine. It'd be so difficult going into a pitch meeting with you. I'll say something. No, Rom. Rom, shut up. All right, Daisy, let's get some more detail on your idea. Christmas carol. Yeah, but how do you make it work for this contest? So it's Argos, yeah. Christmas Carol.

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35:58Romesh Ranganathan:You know the best part about this spicy Italian sausage? I voted for this topping. Yeah, just another perk of being a member. Come join us. Sam's Club. Right, we've got a question from my mum. Oh, I love your mum. Yeah, thanks, Georgie. Your mum is so brilliant. and funny. Our mum isn't funny. We couldn't do anything with her. Your mum is funny. She's not. We tried to do something. Thank you so much. We did try to get her in the show and she got cut, didn't she? She got cut? Yeah. What was she doing? We were doing... I'm so sorry, but can I just have granules and hot water? Oh, my God! This is the coldest...

36:37Romesh Ranganathan:Oh, it's chocolate. Let me feel it. I'm so sorry. It's not espresso. I don't know. It is quite... It's lukewarm. May I... Yeah, of course. Are you being serious? I am, I am. I feel like I've got... You've had one shop-bought coffee. Yes, so I've got the granules in my bag, but I wouldn't drink it otherwise. So it's just... Unbelievable. I'm sorry. Do you want to carry on, or should we just wait in silence? I honestly don't mind either way. Yeah, you can just carry on. I've got the granules. Daisy, do you have coffee granules with you? Yeah. Are you happy to listen to Shanti before your third coffee count?

37:14Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

37:18Romesh Ranganathan:Before we play Mum's Question, what did your mum do? This is for this show? Yeah, for Nightwatch. We filmed in a haunted cinema in York. And she came along. She wanted to watch and have a free night in a hotel. And then we made her stand up and say... And clap. I think she just had to clap at one point. Well, the premise was for her to surprise us, but we already knew she was there. And we just sort of made her look a little bit like a fool, which is quite sad, actually. That doesn't sound like it's her fault that she wasn't funny in that situation. I mean, having worked with your mum a lot, you've got to give them something to work with, haven't you?

38:02Clapping doesn't feel like a direct... I thought my show. I'll back off. I'll turn it off.

38:10Romesh Ranganathan:No, that's not your show. And also, this isn't Eva.

38:17Romesh Ranganathan:Oh, my God. Okay, let's play the question. Hi, Daisy and Charlie. Hello, this is Romesh's mom. I've got a question. You both work and play together beautifully. How do I stop Romesh from always competing with his brother to be the favourite? I wonder, love to know, do you ever argue? Have a lovely day That's a great question Is it a great question It's quite complicated isn't it You work and play together well That's much as true isn't it Oh my god It's a call back Obviously if that If that doesn't make it Then now it looks weird If that you better hope to god That gets in Because otherwise otherwise you've done that out of nowhere oh god okay um do you who's your who's your mom's favorite oh yeah oh you yeah yeah i don't cause her much trouble but your entire life has been nothing but just a hurricane of problems for her why do you think have is that true yeah i think so would you describe yourself as a hurricane of problems yeah and you've been quite low maintenance I have to be.

39:41There might have been a moment in my life where I wanted to be high maintenance, but I just couldn't because I couldn't do that to her, to mum. Yeah. I had to balance the scales a little bit. Right. But yeah, I mean, you were sort of like going clubbing when you were sort of like 14. Yeah. Not coming back for a few days. For a few days? Yeah, and getting with his mates. Yeah, that was really annoying. What was that like for you? Horrible, because I wasn't even there. Right. I wasn't even in the house. Oh, I see, okay. I was away, and I think you invited them around. No, I didn't. They knocked on the door.

40:22They said, is Charlie in? And I said, no, but I am. Is that how you invited her? I think so. Yeah. It was a long time ago. And then you got with all his mates. Yeah, which they talk about now and think it's very funny. Yeah, it's upsetting. Yeah.

40:37Romesh Ranganathan:But you're very close now, right?

40:42we it's up and down yeah no we are close i mean night watch is just six episodes of us sort of bickering so yeah but that's the first time that we've properly hung out i think since this country isn't it probably other than sort of you know seeing each other pass by at christmas well we've there's been a lot of kids born since this country ended i've got two you've got how many three i think you don't look after him um so yeah it's live suddenly is very busy yeah do you know what we argue about the most go on is who's gonna babysit our kids who's who's kids uh who's oh no i'm not saying this who mums who is which one of your kids your

41:32Romesh Ranganathan:mom's gonna baby yeah yeah got you yeah there's a competition yeah you you don't want to look after your kids you don't want to look after your kids yeah it's annoying because you've you've just moved her into the the annex at yours so it's like i don't even get so you've got you've got childcare on tap yeah wow so i can't it's gone that window's gone oh my god your kids are there all the time all the time okay yeah that's true yeah but I feel like you only had your last child because you were annoyed that I was taking mum away from your other kids no okay it's just so I could get out of work a bit right honestly yeah no I get it I get it so you know you you you've done a lot Daisy but and you sort of said at the beginning of the podcast who's more famous out of us two but it's a bit of a it's a bit of a double-edged sword that isn't it because you're sort of less chilled right I'm less chilled I don't mean generally in your demeanor but I mean if you're working more it's annoying isn't it I think we work the same I just get paid more oh my god genuinely no i don't think i work any more than if anything he works more than i did is that true charlo uh i'm just yeah but you do but you do more other stuff what i mean by this is like so charlie this is my impression by the way if i've got this wrong yeah like please don't get angry yeah but charlie you do you're sort of like you're writing stuff you're working on stuff and that takes a lot of time but it's less uh outward facing right Whereas you do stuff like you're on Buzzcocks and stuff like that.

43:16Romesh Ranganathan:So there's a stress attached to that. Yeah, yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, yeah, you're busier than I am, but I sort of don't like being, I get stressed out quite easily, particularly since having kids. That balance between work, when you're not at home and your partner's left with the burden of everything. It's difficult. how many kids have you do you have three and how did you find that uh they're a bit older now they're older they're 16 14 and 11 but um you know i mean i think i i got a lot of it wrong to be honest with you like i've got a really great relationship with the kids and i love them but there are times when i think you can slightly get too caught up in because the thing is the truth is i don't know if you found this like because obviously this country when it went so huge you You guys are in such demand and you still continue to be and rightfully so.

44:13Romesh Ranganathan:But then what happens is, is that you feel so lucky to be in that position that you start thinking, fuck, I've got a, you know, I can't, I can't believe this has happened to me. It would be, it would be rude of me almost to the universe to not take, you know, to not, to not. That's what I was like. But the problem with that is actually, when I think about it, to be honest with you, there are, there are some times when I've been so busy and I'm saying this as somebody who's got a lot going on. at the moment but I've managed it more effectively I think but like there's so I there's been times when I was too busy and I was doing too much stuff and actually when I look back on it I think really I got caught up in the you get caught up in the grind of it not the grind but you get caught up in like the I've got a fucking hustle man and like you know I've got you've got to make hay while the sun shines and next year they might not give a shit you know you can get caught up in that mentality and i think it's really bad and the truth is is uh is none of this shit is like i don't want to get but none of this shit is real like you know what's real is like being at home with your you know having like your family and stuff like that and so even if by spending more time with your family you lose something job wise so fucking what yeah who cares do you mean like and so I think that's a really tricky line to walk because I used to be, you know, you guys, you know, before you're doing comedy, you couldn't dream of being given this opportunity.

45:38Romesh Ranganathan:It's like, I'm certainly far more successful than I ever thought I ever, ever could have even dreamed I was going to be. Yeah. So then when you get offered something, you go, is this like, is it almost disrespectful? Yeah, you think you're going to jinx it if you say, if you turn it down and then the offers won't come in. because people go, oh, he won't bother with doing that because he said no to that. And it's the panic, I think. I totally, totally, you know, we feel that all the time. Probably like now less so. What do you mean, less what? Well, just that we don't panic about it as much because it's fucking exhausting.

46:20It's like I watched an interview with Mr. Beast. I was like this guy how can he have any happiness because he's just doing like throwing Lamborghinis off the buildings every day it's like that is fucking exhausting

46:33Romesh Ranganathan:yeah yeah yeah and like he wants to go bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and you sort of eat yourself slightly surely everyone has that same you have to go through it you have to make those mistakes don't you to find that balance in the end yeah But yeah, I mean, it's just, and then you, I mean, how long has it been since this country came out? It's going to be a long time. You say, oh God, people are going to forget. It's pathetic really. No, there is that worry, but. Do you guys have, do you know what you want to like, do you have like a, I know we're getting a little bit deep now, but do you want to, do you have like a thing of what you want to achieve by the time you stop or by the time you decide to walk away from it?

47:19Romesh Ranganathan:Or before you cancel? You want to win an Oscar, but I think that's... Is that true? Is that your... And how have you tried to manifest that? She's got a... She bought a fake Oscar from Amazon and it's by the side of her TV. Three. I've got one in... So you've got three Oscars. So I can see it. She's manifesting, apparently. You've got three Oscars fake. Yeah. Yeah, thank you, Dan. Sorry, Dan. It did take a... It did actually... I mean, are you joking? It did actually take a long time. For granules? Yeah, for granules and hot water. I mean, Wilson... I think he was trying to choose a moment. to interrupt, to be fair.

47:50Romesh Ranganathan:Will said the granules are there. That felt like 45 minutes ago. Yeah. That is, I'm telling you, that is really great. God, you're so humble and unaffected. It's good, isn't it? Yeah, it's really good. Yeah, good for you. What do you want to achieve? Nothing. Is the honest truth? I sort of, I'm done. Really? Well, what I mean is I have nothing, like I don't, I'm not just making this up. There is nothing. I will just do it till I feel like stopping now. Really? Yeah. Do you have hobbies? Well, I've not talked about it on the podcast before, but I'm about two tracks away from completing my first hip-hop album.

48:34Romesh Ranganathan:It's going to be small. No, but that's just like a hobby thing. So, yeah, I do have hobbies. But I feel like, yeah, I just don't really have any ambitions. like what that's not true I want to make really great stuff like you know that's the only but in terms of what I think about something like an Oscar is like and by the way I think it's you've got that in your future there's no you know I don't think it's a mad thing for you to to fixate on did you hear that no but I do think I do think it's listen I do think that means a hell of a lot no it's I genuinely I don't think it's like I think it could happen for you genuinely I do think that but I think the the the thing about having something like that is the danger of it is is a lot of you of that happening for you is outside of your control right so like you know you might you'll get a film uh you'll do an amazing film that that all of that stuff can happen you put an amazing performance in because you're super talented but but but they might go there might be some political reason what I mean is you might you might do everything that you have to do to get an Oscar and then there's something outside of your control, some other variable that means you don't get the Oscar and then you feel like a failure, but you haven't been a failure.

49:51Romesh Ranganathan:You've smashed it. Do you know what I mean? I disagree. Okay. I just think I will get one. I wish you hadn't let me go on as long as I did this. I just think I'll get one. Christmas Carol. Yeah. And there's no plan B. That's the problem. Right. We've always been like that. It's death or glory, I think. It was always, yeah, even when the early days of this country was like, we weren't really working, doing sort of, you know, other jobs. We was like, yeah, there's no plan B. Just go for it. Go for it. I think that's great. But you don't think you need an Oscar to, like, validate yourself? No, that's what I mean.

50:29No. But it would be nice. It would be nice. It would be nice, yeah. It would be nice to have an Oscar. But when you won the BAFTA, that was like, because I remember years ago, you wrote, you had, I found in your room, you had a little like checklist of things like bucket list of things you want to do. This is when she was like 12. One was live in a house with a swimming pool. Nice. Another was see a ghost. Nice. Brackets, but not be scared. Yeah. Which you have done. You have. I have done, yeah. Because you were asleep.

51:03Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. Thank you. And the last one was Winner Bafta, which to be fair. At 12? No, I wasn't 12. No, because that to me. Maybe 15. Who the fuck? What 12-year-olds? Okay. Okay. Oh, whatever. I don't care. But there, and then Charlie, what about you? What was your kind of? I don't, I mean, that's what I was, because I feel like I have a lot of hobbies. I don't get like, I mean, I do, when work's going well, or I'm really proud of what I've created, that's, there is no greater feeling than that. But for me, my satisfaction from just taking myself away and doing something I really love just for myself.

51:41For yourself, yeah.

51:42Romesh Ranganathan:I think that's so important. So you don't have a thing like with Daisy Zosky, you don't have a thing that you want to... Not really. No, I'm quite happy just bumbling on a little bit. But I can be there. That's okay, that's all right. Yeah, okay. Can I, when you win a BAFTA, can I tell you what I felt? after I, because when I won a BAFTA, I was so excited about winning a BAFTA. And then after I won it, I immediately thought, this can't be as good as I thought it was. What I mean by that is, it took the gloss off. The fact that I'd won one slightly took the gloss off of it. I mean, you were so depressed.

52:23I was so underwhelmed. Because you've lived it in your head for like fucking 10 years. I mean, how many times have I, you know, gone in front of the mirror and done a speech and done it?

52:37Romesh Ranganathan:So when it actually happens, it's like, oh, yeah, this, you know, doing this again. But it's quite flat. The room is quite flat. Oh, yeah. Listen, I've flat. I've hosted it flatly twice. You haven't. You haven't. Hasn't been a flat room. Very flat. Very flat. You know. But yeah. do you know what I mean though? You sort of go, it's, it's, uh, I mean, when I, when I, when I won one for like doing the Ranganation and I walked off and the first thing they said to me, how happy are you about the fact that lots of minorities have, uh, won BAFTAs this year? And I thought, well, you sort of ruined it a bit now.

53:19Romesh Ranganathan:I didn't realise I'd won a brown BAFTA. I thought I'd won a regular one. But now it turns out it's part of some What sort of fucking outreach scheme? They're just like, they're just looking at the photos going, Brown, give him one. Like, give her one. She's sort of in the middle, but you're in.

53:41Romesh Ranganathan:Oh my God. So do you both feel like you've made it now then? Well, it's interesting. We were talking about this. We talk about it a little bit in the show actually. I don't, because we still live in Gloucester. We do a lot of the stuff we did before i mean i don't know obviously it's like it's like yeah it's that we do we i don't i genuinely we were talking about i think fame is like hold oh shit holding a black light you know up to your soul like if you were already an asshole fame's just gonna fucking magnify that right and i was a bit of a twat before it and i suppose i'm a larger one now and you're you know bit boring and now he's a bit boring with more money nailed it fucking hell do you know what it was it's quite a nice little monologue and not one positive thing was said in any moment of it it's generally the way you did it daisy was like you're about to turn to charlie I'd pay him a compliment and now I feel like a mug that is so do you think so what how do you describe yourself a twat a bit of a twat do you know what I do believe in my talent that is the only thing I do believe in I don't believe in anything else I believe in ghosts and my talent I don't believe that I don't think I'm intelligent I don't but I have always Sorry, Charlie, do you mean when you were shaking your head, was that no, you don't believe you're intelligent or no, you're not intelligent?

55:23Romesh Ranganathan:Both. Okay.

55:31No, yeah. Yeah, you do believe. But no, that is, yeah. But that's good. Embrace that. But it is good. And I'll tell you why. Because it's like when we did, with this country, right, when we did the pilot and it was fucking, it was really terrible, and we got dropped by our production company and by ITV.

55:55Romesh Ranganathan:After the pilot? This is after the pilot. It was so bad. Was it bad? It was fucking awful because we were so terrified. We just did whatever they wanted to make it. And then I think our agent was like, look, if you want to get the rights of your characters back, you've got a stump up 350 grand, like that's how much it will cost to buy them back the worst contract and I was like you, like Charlie was so devastated I think I punched a door you punched a door it feels so didn't leave a dent in it but I was like this isn't over, I just knew that we had to see it to be fair to you But then he's amazing because he's...

56:49What's wrong?

56:50Romesh Ranganathan:Can I tell you what it looked like? It looked like you were about to pay him a compliment and your body couldn't handle it. And you shut down because you were about to say something nice about your brother. Is that what happened? No, I genuinely was thinking, what can I say that's nice about him? And nothing. Oh, my God. You are amazing at, you know, making sure we're at meetings on time. Oh, my God. Take that. That's the nicest thing you have said to me. You dress well. No, but he's amazing with like, you know. Oh, my God. Just lie. You can lie and say something. He. Just say. No, I think. No, but you are.

57:40He's the funniest person I've ever met in my fucking life. Whoa! Come on. Come on. You are. And it fucking annoys me saying that as well.

57:49Romesh Ranganathan:So it was so nice what you're about to say. It was upsetting for you. I get that. He may even be funnier than me. Wow. But not all the time. Okay, that's fine. But I'll accept that. That's... Thank you. That's really sweet. I feel like... That's a breakthrough. I actually wouldn't want to do... I wouldn't have wanted to do this without him because I would have felt so sorry for you. Because I wouldn't be able to do it without you. You went for the compliment, you had to undercut, give a bit of edge, but it was actually a nice thing. Yeah, you are funny. In a way. Funny looking. But yeah, anyway.

58:34I think Charlie, you should say something back. Yeah, what a nice thing. Yeah, you're dressing great at the moment. I love this T-shirt you got. Thanks for adding at the moment, by the way. That is cool. Well, yeah, I mean. You do look great, Daisy. Do I? Yeah. You got a, what is it? Explain your T-shirt. Just a tarot card. Because you like your tarot, don't you? So much so that you'll do your tarot. If you don't like what answer it gives, you'll just do it again. I've got my tarot card. I could do a reading for you if you want. I want a quick one. Do you want that or not?

59:07Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, let's do it. Should we do it now? Yeah, let's do it. Can I have my tarot cards? Tarot cards and one more coffee, please. Yeah, that's all right. Do you actually want another coffee? Yeah, is that all right? You haven't even drunk that one. So how long have you been doing tarot for? I don't know. Oh, years. Years, but... Do you need like a flat surface? No, I could just pack it out on there. What I want you to do is...

59:35Can you... Take off your clothes.

59:41Sorry.

59:41Romesh Ranganathan:This is funny. Charlie, I just want to... Just as a mate, I'm telling you, you said that out loud. Sorry. I'm sorry. Right. Knock on them. Take the whole pack. Okay. Knock on them. And then I want you to ask a question out loud and shuffle them. What kind of question? Well, I don't know. Like, am I... Are you going to win an Oscar? Okay. To knock on them. Can you ask an opinion question or is it like something that's going to happen to them? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It could be anything. Okay. Am I going to die happy? Oh. Why would you choose that? What? What do you mean? Oh, am I going to have Burger King today?

1:00:23Romesh Ranganathan:No. No, what? I don't know. Okay, fine, fine. Am I going to win another BAFTA? Well, there we go. That's a really good one. Is it? Yeah. Am I going to die happy? That's so morbid. You've got... No, but happy. In what way? I mean, like, you know, am I going to be... Shaking a prostitute.

1:00:47Romesh Ranganathan:Danger wank. What's wrong with you two? Fucking hell. It's not an asphyxiation question. It's like, you know, am I going to be content by the time it comes for me to shuffle off this mortal coil, I guess. But we'll do the BAFTA one. Yeah. Because it's less kind of sad. Shuffle them. Okay, how well do I have to shuffle? Just whatever. Okay. I feel like you're sort of, I'm not the best client. Just because of how long I'm taking and stuff. Well, the first, oh, what was that card? That's got to be it. That's the sign, yeah. Can you pass it to me? That card's chosen you. Let's see. What is it? What is that?

1:01:24That's a death card. That means absolutely not. You'll probably die before you get that one. So no, you won't die happy. That's actually answered all your questions. Hold on, hold on.

1:01:35Romesh Ranganathan:You can't just start scattergunning it across everything I've asked. That is mad, then. No, that's saying, look, you've got what you've got. Just be happy with that. That's nice. Yeah. That's nice. Yeah. Do you have to pick more cards? No. No. So let me get this straight. That is mad that he picked that. Yeah. Isn't it? So that worries me about. What do you mean? Just about your mortality. How are you getting home today? I was just going to sort of run along the middle of the road. Do you think that might be a bad idea based on the card? Okay. Good to know. That's crazy you picked that card. I know.

1:02:22It came out for... You didn't even want to pick it.

1:02:26Romesh Ranganathan:None of them have got a BAFTA mask on. So it's slightly tricky, isn't it? So does that mean I'm going to die or does it mean? No, it means that I'm not going to win another BAFTA. You'll die before you win another BAFTA. Okay. So you could possibly win. Fucking hell. What are you like without coffee? Okay. Thank you very much, Daisy. Do you want to knock those back? Just knock your energy out of it.

1:02:55Anyway, this has been great.

1:02:57Romesh Ranganathan:Not for me. That was horrible. I thought it was going to be a fun little game, a little bit of content. Now I'm scared. I've had 36 years of this. Oh, God. Okay, it's time for Misquoted.

1:03:15Romesh Ranganathan:It's Misquoted. This is where we've got some quotes that you said and some quotes that you didn't say. You've got to tell me whether they're true or false. Oh, gosh. And then it leads to some nice discussion. What's wrong? What's wrong? Nothing. She does that face. Well, you're doing the face that you're doing in the last one. laughing after you took a sip of that coffee you're not aware huh you're not aware that's the face you did no you do you like what you know you you do this face it's only like a few like last year right but which in the muppets you know christmas carol muppets you know the teacher christmas carol she's pitching it the eagle that's the eagle when you do that face yeah what face yeah when have I started doing that probably since when you got your lips done maybe

1:04:07Romesh Ranganathan:makes sense now but okay I'll stop doing it can I ask you an honest question just before we do this misquoted game if you were to if I was to get any work done we were talking about it before you guys arrived what should I get done would you get any done Charlie um I mean you're a very handsome bloke oh thanks I don't have great teeth. Right. I wouldn't change anything about you. No but what if I like got this up and got a little bit of cheekbone? No. Never. No you're great. You look great. You look really great. Yeah really great. But you looked really great and you still look really great but you had work done.

1:04:43I did but I I mean that is just literally my lips really because I but I've let everything else just sort of. Sigh. I was going to say dissolve in the Oh, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Fuck's sake.

1:05:02Romesh Ranganathan:Telepathic, see? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, here we go. After I lost weight, people told me I'm not funny anymore. Turns out you don't have to be when you're as fit as fuck. I half said that. That is exactly right. When did you say that? That is exactly right. That is... Which bit did you say and which bit did you not say? I said, since losing weight, people say I'm not as funny anymore. Yeah, but you didn't say the Fitbit. No, I didn't say the Fitbit. Oh, that's true. But that does say the Fitbit is sort of what I would say. What you really think. What I really think. Who told you that? Loads of messages on Instagram.

1:05:38People are fucking arseholes.

1:05:40Romesh Ranganathan:They are. Here's the next one. You've got to swing your dick around. I would have definitely said that. You used to say it to me the other day about your son. About my lap? About your son. Yeah. What about him? My son was at her son's house. Right. And you say, she said her son was swinging his dick around, as in, because he was showing up. Like a power play. Yeah, yeah. Flexing. It's flexing on your kid. Yeah. Because he was playing with my son's duke play. What do you mean by, you said it in The Guardian this year. I don't really know what to say. I did say it. So I did say it. You did say it.

1:06:17Romesh Ranganathan:Guardian 2025, and also the other day at a family Duplo dispute. Okay, here's the next one. If I was a dog, I'd piss on her, not in a harsh way. That's, yeah, that's Curtin from this country. It is, yeah. Well done. Really nice. Good line. Would you start that conversation, Lee? I haven't before, but someone came up to me and said that was their favourite line in the entire... Really? Yeah, that was the other day, actually, weirdly. Which is quite sweet. I wrote that line. No, no, no. I don't think you did. No, you didn't. I did. No. I did. No, no, wait. No, I actually made... I improv that on the day.

1:06:57That's not in the script. I swear to God. You liar. You're a fucking liar.

1:07:10Romesh Ranganathan:It's difficult because I can't really weigh in because I don't know what's true. How sure are you that you wrote it? It won't be in the script. Anything that's funny, I will have written. A thousand percent. Anything that's just bulking it out is him. Bulking it out? That's horrible to make up the minutes.

1:07:32It's true though, right? Well, yeah. I mean, I wouldn't say it's bulking, but yeah. Charlie, you accepted that way too easily. Well, I just... I've got no... I'm sapped.

1:07:48Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, I get it. Do you know what I mean? You're going to cry after this. I will do it. I probably will do it. Well, after the tarot reading. Yeah, and the coffees. The coffees, yeah. Do we need to get another one ready? No, no. How wide are you now? Are you not off your tits now? No, because she has three sips. And then as soon as it starts getting piping hot, she'll leave it. Oh, do you have a microwave it? So if she's on any job, the runner fucking hates her. Oh, my God. How would you fucking know? Because I'm slacking you off to them. Anymore. I am your runner. More coffee? Do you get a lot of coffee from a runner?

1:08:25Oh my God, yeah. Every five minutes? You do, you treat them like dirt. No, I don't. Because they're young. I don't. I'm really great. All I ever see is a poor, like, 20-year-old runner just traipsing off to the kettle. Oh my God. At least I have a runner to employ. Do you know what I mean? You're just doing sort of like YouTube stuff.

1:08:55Romesh Ranganathan:This is available on YouTube. Okay, here's our next quote. I'm a country bumpkin at heart. I love history and nature and the smell of rain on freshly spread manure. That's me, but I didn't say the manure bit. No, that's true. Thank God. bad enough as it is i'm a country but i'm gonna heart i love history nature and the smell of rain oh no you said uh folklore not freshly spread manure ah what rain on rain on folklore no just the whole thing i love rain on folklore that'd be quite a poetic thing to say uh why do you like folklore so much i just um it's just an amazing thing to i mean it's quite a hard uh thing to pin down because it's such a wide yeah ranging subject but um we grew up in gloucestershire and there's so much of it around us growing up like cheese rolling yeah you ever have you ever been there i'm aware of it because obviously there's that clip that went viral of that guy that really took a real bad tumble it was he literally was like levitating wasn't he yeah um but yeah you should do it Cheese rolling?

1:10:09Yeah.

1:10:09Romesh Ranganathan:Have you done it? No, I haven't done it. No. No. Why do you think I should do it then? Like gather up a bit of pace. I don't know. I don't know. Have you? Well, yeah, it's a sort of folk tradition that's been going on for, you know, a long time. Folklore was like something that may or may not have happened. Like fairies. Well, that's the thing. It can be. Yeah.

1:10:38See, she is thick.

1:10:44Romesh Ranganathan:People stop me because they remember me from pissing on the P.E. mat in year five, but that's about it. I said that. Did you piss on the P.E. mat in year five? 2000%, yeah. I have as well. On that same mat? No. Were you together? He pissed on it to try and mark his territory. I pissed on it first. No, mine was in the summer camp. I remember, it's quite an early memory, but being too scared to ask to go to the toilet. So I just pissed on the mat. I remember you doing that because we were watching Cool Runnings. We were watching something, yeah. Was it Cool Runnings? Yeah, it was, yeah. Have you ever pissed on the mat?

1:11:26Romesh Ranganathan:No, but I pissed myself in front of an agent. I've told this before. But this agent said we should have a few beers to see if we could work together. This is when we're in Edinburgh. We left the pub and I thought I need to go. You know when you sort of go, I need to take myself out of this situation because I'm really drunk. So I said, I'm going to go home. And he said, where are you staying? And I said, over the other side of the meadows. And he said, oh, me too. I'll walk with you. So I was like, oh, fucking hell. So we start walking and then we start walking through the meadows. I started to really need a piss, like really, like badly.

1:11:56Romesh Ranganathan:And then it was like getting really bad. So then I thought, I'm just going to release a bit of pressure. So I just pissed a bit. Like to sort of, because I thought it would make room. But what happened is it made it a lot worse. And so basically I decided to slowly piss myself. Because it was dark and it was like a bit rainy. Oh my God. And then by the time we got to my flat, it was like I was done. Well, I was done. Were they aware? I didn't think they were. But then when we got to the door, I turned around and there was steam coming off my jeans. Oh my God. But it wouldn't have been a smelly wee because if you were drinking a lot.

1:12:35No. Did you end up going with, signing with him?

1:12:39Romesh Ranganathan:No. Good. Yeah, good. Because if you can't tell him that you, you know, need a piss, then you're not going to be able to tell him that you don't want to do Strictly or whatever, do you? Yeah, that's a good point. Speaking of which, I'm doing it. Are you? That'd be really great. No, I don't think it's in my future. Would you ever do Strictly, Charlie? I've been asked. Yeah. Have you been asked? A thousand. They ask me, I say no, and then they ask you. Of course. We must get that open and clear and transparent. Anybody who's having any doubts about the order in which you were asked. So what is it, they ask you first, and once you've said no, then they move over to Charlotte.

1:13:21Then they cut the fee in half, and then they ask you.

1:13:26Romesh Ranganathan:You wouldn't ever do it, Charlotte? I could know. It'd be mortifying. But you did Masked Singer, right? Yeah. What was that like? Oh, it was paid really well. Is it really, really good? Regardless of how far you get? Yeah. Really? Really worth doing. What did you dress as? An otter. Okay. And was it fun? I mean, it was great because I'm not a very good singer, so I got out really early. But still got the same fee? So then I still get the same fee. What did your kids say? Were they buzzing? My daughter was... Well, I thought she was going to be really happy about it. She wasn't. Okay. Well, that's a shame.

1:14:06Romesh Ranganathan:So we managed to make a Masked Singer story. It's quite dark at the end there. Okay. Shag, marry, kill, Daisy. Jimmy Carr, Ben Shepard, Bob Durst.

1:14:18So hard. Well, marry Ben Shepard. Marry Ben Shepard. He's so steady.

1:14:26Romesh Ranganathan:Ben Shepard's fit, right? Like sexy? Yeah. Have you seen the pictures of him recently? Yeah, that's what I was about to ask about, actually. Because he did this 50, because he just turned 50 recently, didn't he? And he's gone all out. Really? He was on cover of Men's Health, wasn't he? Oh, he just looks divine. He's got a stomach like a fucking corn on the cob. Does he? It looks unbelievable. Oh, my God. Yeah. You like that? Yeah. Okay. Okay, so Mary. What? who's Bob Durst Bob Durst is the serial killer from the Jinx yeah I've gone off him a little bit why? because he died because of what he said in the toilet he's killed him of course I definitely would shag Jimmy I think and then kill Bob Durst I didn't like him for his thing for what he did but I just I found him there was something he was a bit funny like he was funny what do you think's worse?

1:15:27Romesh Ranganathan:killing those people or playing Riyadh Comedy Festival? I can't. Charlie and Daisy, you have been wonderful guests. Final question for you guys. Our team like us to have a viral moment, you know, like something like an exclusive, something that has never been said anywhere else or something, I don't know, sexual or whatever, like something that would just really like push us over the top because at the moment, it's going fine Fredworm? Was that not enough? Fredworm's pretty good actually but yeah we're currently we're not touching the likes of The Rest is Entertainment even Parenting Hell Whatever I know They've got to split the money between the two of them right?

1:16:18Romesh Ranganathan:That's true And their kids aren't going to be kids forever No they're not and listen they're not going to be kids you're absolutely right you're absolutely right they're not going to be kids forever and you know let's be honest they're doing okay it's hardly relatable parenting content anyway

1:16:39Romesh Ranganathan:oh my god you wouldn't believe it the car to pick me up was 20 minutes late what the fuck am I supposed to do I turned up for the last leg they got my fucking Nando's I said Perry Perry how am I supposed to focus on my children when I've not got the correct spice level if you guys cut that out I'm going to tell him that you should be

1:17:17he's going to batter you yeah yeah

1:17:19Romesh Ranganathan:oh yeah I'm terrified Put them up, put them up. You're going to fucking get it. Daisy told me about what you've been saying, you big prick.

1:17:36Romesh Ranganathan:Anyway. Okay, so we're threadworms here. It's done it, right? Yeah, we're good. Oh, nothing? There's no question? What was the question? Well, have you got something exclusive you can give us? fucking each other clear it up print it we're good Daisy May and Charlie Cooper everybody thank you so much guys that was great oh thank you that was so joyful if you've enjoyed this episode of the Romesh Ranganathan show make sure you follow wherever you get your podcasts Apple, Spotify YouTube all the big ones and you can enjoy more great content like this and in fact I'll go further to say even if you didn't enjoy this episode, just follow anyway for shits and giggles.

1:18:22Romesh Ranganathan:And on the Thursday episode, we're going to be taking questions from viewers and listeners. Oh. So that's exciting, isn't it? It's interesting. Yeah. And if you've got an interesting story or a question for my mum and I, or even like a family dilemma you'd like us to help you with, please do get in touch via our email address, podcast at rangaby.com, or you can voice note or text on this number. 07731 623355. I'm Ramesh Ranganathan, and this has been the Ramesh Ranganathan Show. What a narcissist. See you next time. Oh, shut up, Ramesh. You want to get your backyard summer ready, but you don't want to break the bank?

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