Jemaine Clement On Flight of the Conchords, Marmite & British Comedy

18:53Romesh Ranganathan:You'll have to bleep that out. Did you... Political correctness got mad, hasn't it?

18:59Romesh Ranganathan:Would you say your upbringing shaped your sense of humour? You're quite... Oh, boy. You're incredibly... What's wrong? You don't like that question? You're going to talk about my dad leaving. Is that what you're going to say? No, we can do if you want. I'm up for talking about whatever you want. My upbringing? Yeah, I don't know. I watched a lot of TV. Yeah. Yeah. I was just sat in front of the TV a lot of the time. Yeah. Yeah. And then were you thinking, were you watching TV thinking, I want to be that? I think I was just deluded and thought I could do it, even though my parents both worked in factories and my grandparents worked in factories.

19:36I thought, I'm going to be on TV though. Did you really think that? I mean, I also thought I'd be an inventor and haven't had an idea. There's a few things I thought I'd be.

19:52Romesh Ranganathan:So how did that manifest stuff? They said that you'd start performing and stuff or putting stuff together. I was in a couple of school shows. Yeah. And there was this one teacher at school who basically only interacted with me to tell me off, to give me detentions, to, you know, like, say something insulting to me. And she said I was really good in the school show and maybe I could do it as a job. And because she'd only told me off before, it meant quite a lot to me. And I think that's one thing I was like, oh, maybe I could do it as a job. Mrs. Mitler says that. Yeah, who hates me. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

20:30But now I see that it's like, she's possibly also saying, well you can't do anything else that I've noticed and then I went to an open day at a university and it was in the drama department and watched them putting on an excerpt of a play someone had written and I thought it was so bad I thought surely I can do this and I actually didn't do very well in that drama department no but it got me into it though

21:03Romesh Ranganathan:yeah yeah and then who were your influences back then who were you sort of were you trying to emulate anybody or were you uh things i loved i loved a lot of british comedy um i'm 52 so some of these references will be old and if you're older than me some of them will be quite fresh references yeah yeah the young ones yeah for some older people we think oh i need to look into that yeah yeah that's right i've been meaning to watch that it's like that for me now we know like There's movies I've been meaning to watch, and they'll be out again because it's the 20th anniversary. Yeah, the young ones, Blackadder, were big for me.

21:39Yeah. American show, Gary Shandling's show. It's Gary Shandling's show. Things like that always really lit up my brain, I think.

21:48Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. We had Ben Elton on talking about Blackadder, and he was talking about he got involved from series two. And the first series was completely different, wasn't it? Yeah, yeah. I love the first series as well, though. I do as well. And then, you know, Ben Elton wasn't involved in that. So when I said that, he said, actually, it was, I think you'll find it was rubbish. Yeah, yeah, I have heard him say that. Yeah. But it had a moodiness about it, which was really different. But he became, you know, he's such a completely different guy. You know, like the ones, subsequent ones, I mean, I'm telling you what you already know, but like that sort of sarcastic kind of withering thing, I think I watched that.

22:28Romesh Ranganathan:And even now, I think my comedy is influenced by watching him back there. You know, that sort of, I used to love it. I think there's a thing that I like in that show, in the first one, where the clever guy in the first one is the servant. And from a working class family, I like thinking of the working class guy as being the clever person and the rich people being stupid. But everyone else likes it the other way around, don't we know it?

22:57Romesh Ranganathan:You're one of these innards greatest, as I said. Thanks. did you laughing yeah and then um there's another sorry there's another thing in new zealand oh there's um a band called the front lawn that was a big influence for brett and i they'll do funny songs but you know they'd play in theaters uh it's just a bit classier we're we played in pubs so we're a bit dirtier but um but they're a big influence too the front right i checked them out i've got some short films with music and stuff okay it's really good um were you were you thinking i'm gonna break out into the uk or the u.s like did you have worldwide it was a dream it was a dream because um you know watching the young ones and seeing the you know seeing things like double decker buses and things like that and um yeah it was a dream i don't know if we necessarily um planned to do it we were just we just did the edinburgh festival and it's on um in summer over here where it's winter in New Zealand and that's a big part of like we've got to find somewhere to go so we don't have to stick through the winter now I know that you guys have a much worse winter and hats off to you guys but yeah we just wanted to escape the winter Edinburgh Fringe because I'm now I've now been I'm not allowed to do the Fringe by my agent what did you do?

24:23Romesh Ranganathan:basically I become obviously doing you're too big pardon no no it's not because I'm too big although I do think people get really annoyed if someone who's doing 3000 seaters and all those people doing 50 seaters yeah yeah I do think that is a look I don't want to you know I'm not talking about anyone in particular but anybody that rocks up to the Fringe Festival and takes half the audience in one night it's a piss take like what are you doing man like somebody that can get that those numbers at any time of the year rocking up at the Fringe Festival. Yeah, all these people you know one of the saddest things I saw at the Fringe was someone asleep in a bus shelter and for a pillow they were on a pile of their own flyers with their own face on them.

25:07That's how rough it can be out there.

25:09Romesh Ranganathan:Early memories of Edinburgh Fringe are like just playing to three people and you're desperately trying to get a tune out of this, say a crowd Yeah, it's hard to get a vibe going with three people. The worst Breton I ever played was one person. And at the end, she'd left.

25:34At the end, we were like, when did she leave? One song in? Two songs? Did she get to the end? Yeah.

25:42Romesh Ranganathan:So you didn't notice that she'd gone or you didn't? No, we didn't notice. but we got to use it. We did a gig like that in our Flight of the Conchords show in the fictional world of the show. We just basically did that. Yeah, yeah. But I think that I just found the fringe brutally hard. Anyway, the reason that I'm banned from it, not banned from it, is because of what it does to me psychologically. What is that? You get depressed. A little bit. And then you become more of a narcissist than you already are as a comedian. I remember going there. My youngest child was born while my wife was pregnant.

26:21Romesh Ranganathan:Her due date was during the Fringe Festival. Oh, that's a bad clash. And she was very casual. She very casually said to me, I'll just give birth. I'll come to Edinburgh. Give birth at the Fringe. I'll give birth at the Fringe. Yeah. We could probably do a bucket afterwards. But so I was doing a show. I said to my friends, Lisa said she's going to come and give birth in Edinburgh. And then my friend said to me, you're a horrible, horrible person. I can't believe you're making her do this. But she was so casual about it, I thought it was all right. Imagine how many drunk people with broken legs are going to be filling up that hospital during that festival.

26:56Romesh Ranganathan:It was a real insight into how selfish doing a show in Edinburgh can make you. So for example... Because you're like, your baby's been born, it's like, I've got a two-star review. Yeah. It was like... There's a lot going on. You know, Lisa would go, I've had a tough day today. Like, my back's killing me. I just need to get this baby out of me. And then I'd go, Chortle said that I was derivative. You think you've had a bad day. You know? And that's when I realised maybe I need to not come here anymore. Do you know what I mean? Chortle's such a specific bit of knowledge. It's a website for comedy shows.

27:42Romesh Ranganathan:I had it becomes huge during the Edinburgh Fringe. Yeah, it becomes huge in the Edinburgh Fringe. And they review every show. Yeah. Yeah. So even if you've come from some very small country, Chorda will come. Yeah. Yeah. And that's a that's that's great. And they won't take into consideration is Steve Bennett. Actually, let's name the guy. You know, it's it's it becomes really important. Yeah. And nobody outside of comedy has ever heard of it. so if you say to one of your friends fucking hell the Chortle review they go why are you talking to me about this yeah what is it it's a really important comedy website and what's it called Chortle yeah I haven't heard that name for years what the fuck are you talking about Chortle even worse than reviews is comments yeah and if you have a really good review then the bad comments about why that good review is wrong yeah and they take over in your head oh it's horrible it's like I can't You get a four-star review or something.

28:40Romesh Ranganathan:Really great. He's doing some great stuff. Well done, Romesh. And then the first comment is, did we watch the same show? Yeah, exactly. And that, I mean, some of those comments, they were the worst experience about doing those. You've got to avoid those. I was threatened with a knife in Edinburgh, and I still think of the comment more often. It was like this, I'll slice you up like bread. was this a show no a guy was shouting at a woman and I told him to shut up and then he came and threatened me and then the woman told me to shut up the woman told you to shut up now fair play why are you getting involved in those you prick she's right

29:27Romesh Ranganathan:one year I wasn't writing reading reviews I got nominated for best newcomer I thought I can look at it thanks and I was really I saw an article about the nominations and I thought I can read that, that's not a review yeah so that's safe what happened? it said you can't argue with the nominations this year with the exception of one oh man and then it went into detail about how I shouldn't have been nominated yeah it's good to get away from that stuff yeah but it doesn't bother me now it's like the first time you hear people talking about what you've done and it's exciting and people are saying good things as well yeah but i feel like one bad comment is equal to about 10 good ones yeah yeah for balance it's horrendous and then you and then you sort of think in your head it's all in your head yeah and then you think why am i now i know i think i can read them and go the bad ones wrong even if there's more bad ones wrong no they're wrong wrong oh that guy liked it he's correct it's a healthy place to be it's a really good place to be um now one of your most significant collaborations been with Taika Waititi.

30:31Romesh Ranganathan:What did you think when you first met him? Did you know he had sort of a genius quality to him or was that something that came later? I wouldn't have said that. No, just joking. Yeah, him and Brett, I met both those guys in the same way, auditioning for stuff at university, the drama club. And both of those guys, I remember thinking they were funny. Yeah, yeah. Like stood out. Yeah, and I, he, the first thing I saw him do, I'd seen him in the library earlier, because all the people who were staying at university for the audition, I guess, were hanging out waiting for this audition. And I'd seen him, like, helping a girl with their study, like, this handsome guy going like that, and I immediately disliked him.

31:22Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, of course. Yeah. Yeah. And then we had to go get up in this audition and improvise stuff, and he was doing an air guitar thing while someone else was singing. But he was doing all the plugs and the sounds of the plugs and he's doing the wah pedal and he's getting it exactly right. And I was like, wow, those are some good observations. And thought it was really funny. And same with Brett. I met him at an audition as well and he did a really funny thing as well, which I can still remember. I won't do it though. You won't do it? No, but I can remember what both those guys were doing when I saw them and they made me laugh.

32:02Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, yeah, yeah. But of course, I didn't imagine that 30 years later we'd all still be doing stuff together. This episode is brought to you by Sainsbury's. So, Sainsbury's customers can save over£450 a year with the Nectar app, which is a decent bit of bunts, to be fair. You might choose to spend your£450 on a family day out, or you might save it for a rainy day, or you might take a chunk out of some of those bills, whatever you fancy. What have you decided to do? The good news is that it's so easy to help your money go further and make some big savings by using Nectar Prices and your Nectar Prices at Sainsbury's.

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33:19Romesh Ranganathan:Your call has been forwarded to voicemail. Hi, this is Zoe Deutsch. And Nick Robinson. Our brand new movie, Voicemails for Isabel, is all about those little moments that feel like the universe is looking out. Feeling homesick, then your sister calls. Hearing that perfect song exactly when you need it. Please stay. Sometimes life rigs things in our favor, like learning about your new favorite rom-com, Voicemails for Isabel. Now playing only on Netflix.

33:52Romesh Ranganathan:Now, we have a question from my mother for you. I don't know what this question is. I'm married.

34:00Romesh Ranganathan:She'd probably be up for it, actually. But let's... I don't know if that's what the question is. I'm sorry. I'm married, but I'm up for it. Okay, great, great, great, great. Cool, cool, cool, cool. Great news. Let's hear her question. Hi, Gemini. This is Romance's mum, Shandi. I know you are a very, very talented man. I thought she was going to say naughty boy. You really say it all. I heard you like to serenade people. I'd love to have a son who could sing. Is there any chance maybe you could sing one of your songs? I love music. Music helped me a lot to be happy. God bless and enjoy life. Take care.

34:49Bye-bye. There's a suggestion there that I would be her son. Yeah, it's bizarre that. We would be brothers or I'd be the new son and you'd be her former son?

34:59Romesh Ranganathan:I guess you'd replace me. Yeah, I think there's something similar about us that is all why she won't notice. Yeah, I do think we've got a similar... You kind of could be brothers. Do you think so? Yeah. There was a comment on Reddit the other day that said someone said, I feel like as these guys are ageing they're kind of morphing into each other. About us two specifically. Yeah. Really? We're getting closer and closer and now we're in the same room. Yeah. This is like destiny. I would say that sounded less like a question than a series of disparate thoughts. It didn't sound like... Does she always give a question?

35:34Romesh Ranganathan:She does but she's never sounded as high as that before. Like she... There were a lot of breaks in what she was... It was a bit of a rollercoaster that was it. Have you spoken to her since she sent that question in? No. She wants me to sing a song or were you Huzan? I think a bit of both. A bit of both. I think. I don't know for definite, but that's what it felt like. Can I just hear it again, please? I'm Shanti. I know you are a very, very talented man. Your face says it all. I heard you say... Your face says it all? Didn't catch that the first time. Very, very talented man. your face says it all I heard you like to serenade people I love to have a can we just pause it there a second that's what she's heard about me do you like to serenade people I mean audiences I guess occasionally I've tried to serenade yeah

36:39so that's true she must have heard that from my first girlfriend

36:46Romesh Ranganathan:so you like to serenade people okay is there any chance maybe you could sing one of your songs I love music see that's that's where that's the first bit where I start to become concerned about her have we got a guitar have we got we don't have a guitar no otherwise you would have done it well that's what I was thinking now Flight of the Conchords yes you did Netflix is a Joke after When was the last time you performed together before that? Eight years previous. We played London. Or UK, actually. We played the O2 and Hammersmith. And which one did you prefer? No, Apollo. What do you call it now?

37:27Apollo, yeah. Eventim. It's Eventim Apollo, yeah. Yeah, not as cool. Hammersmith. It's in Hammersmith, though. It is in Hammersmith, yeah. You can still call it Hammersmith Apollo, can't you? Because it's geographically correct.

37:36Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. What did you prefer out of the O2 and the Apollo to play? Apollo, yeah. You're playing O2 here. I am, yeah. In a year. In May. Yeah, in a year. Just under a year, yeah. Because our publicist has tickets. That gives us just about enough time to make it... To get that song... To break even. To get that song going. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What made you do the reunion then? Was it exciting to do it? Because everybody went nuts for it. It was like... We'd been playing together a little bit last year, just like meeting once a week when we're both in town. And so I guess we'd already got the guitars out.

38:13And then they asked us, we're out every year to do a festival or something like that. And I guess there were, you know, seven years of no's. And then finally we gave in. But it was amazing.

38:28Romesh Ranganathan:People went nuts for it. People were very excited to see you guys back together. Did it feel cool to be doing that and to get that reception? Yeah, it's almost weird. It's like, come on, guys, this was ages ago for us. But, yeah, really nice. big support from the audience. Because people who like you guys, love you guys, you like Fanatical, right? I'm saying they're all like, you know, they're sounding mind and body. It sounds like you don't like us. No, I do like you. People who like you. No, no. Really like you. No, I didn't mean it like that. No, I'm just joking. What I meant was people that like...

39:01I'm joking, but it also did sound like that.

39:03Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, no, it did sound like that. And deliberately so. But the point I'm making is people are obsessive, right? Like, you've got super fans. Like, when we had Brett on, The comments on the, you know, people are obsessed. Yeah, people turn up dressed like us. Yeah. Have us on their T-shirts. There's one lyric that I have in a song about making the ladies in the audience pregnant. And I remember just one time. I'd love you to sing that to my mum, would you? I will. Give me her digits. Yeah, yeah. there's like women with t-shirts that look like a sonogram like an ultrasound right but with my face on the baby does that feel good I guess it did actually feel good but also weird but yeah flattering yeah so do you think that's something you might will you could this become a regular thing uh i'm yeah i'm hoping we do some more shows yeah we've we we learned all these songs again which was which was uh it was hard was it really yeah yeah we haven't played them for so long and then did they feel familiar did you manage to get them back in the bone sort of thing sometimes just get the guitars out and like okay i remember this yeah and it's do do do do do oh what's the first what's the first word yeah and then you think once the first once you got the first word then it will come and then that and then and then we're just on google uh we want i want to talk to you now about um let's start let's get started yeah um it's a good time to start at the beginning yeah let's let's begin uh alice and steve which is out now on disney plus is this how long we've been doing the interviews because it was like when i got in here it was it was going to be playing in a week yeah but or you you i'm doing it yeah okay no we haven't been in this room for a week.

40:58I'm relieved.

40:58Romesh Ranganathan:When this

41:02Romesh Ranganathan:we're a bit like a casino. You really don't know how much time has passed. There's no clocks, no natural light. Yeah. But Alice and Steve, the show is genuinely it's so funny. It's so great. Good. It's an amazing premise that, you know, such a basically you see these two friends and then a bomb drops and their relationship basically. I'm going to be totally honest with you. If you come on the podcast and I sort of thought it was good, I would say it's pretty good. Okay? That's honestly. You're not going to come on here and I'm going to say, we'll talk about it, but I think it's shit. That wouldn't happen.

41:40Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, I appreciate that. I'm a polite guy. But I think it's fucking great, man. It's such a great show. It's so good. Well, the scripts were really good and that's what I was sent. And same with Nicola Walker who plays Alice. We've seen the scripts. Yeah, and I was just laughing and not knowing where the story was going to go. And there's, yeah, like you say, the bomb drops in their relationship. There's a lot of juicy conflict there. It's got a real narrative drive to it, but it's also, it's just incredibly funny. There's like, there's an awkwardness to it. I found like in the first episode, because I'm 48, in that first episode where Alice and Steve go out and they're in a bar with like 20-somethings and they're still like having, you know, they're trying to have a good time.

42:34Romesh Ranganathan:I found it so uncomfortable to, you know, that realising how you look in those situations as somebody of that age is, I found it horrific. No, you need to find a place where there's other old people like a Italian film festival. Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. who's that cool young dude a wine tasting even though I don't drink wine might seem quite young there the reason it kind of resonated with me so much is because it's that thing of like being older but still thinking you still think you've got something, I was about to say something to offer that's not what I mean but you know you can still go out and have a good time you think you can still party and also it's horrible realising how other people see you I know, I remember, because I'm 52, I remember being 21 and going to a friend's mum's 50th birthday party and being amazed she could still dance.

43:35Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. It's so sad to me now that someone might see me dance and go, look, he can still move his limbs. He's doing pretty well. How does he keep fit that way? but yeah it's very relatable but in a horrible way that it's sort of I almost found it embarrassing watching Alison Steve and that thing as a fan of British comedy I loved that about filming this that almost every situation has an element of awkwardness and discomfort yeah and that was exciting to me it's like I'm in a British comedy how did you approach because I think all of the performances are great in this but you're except one yeah Yeah, this is, that's kind of why I mentioned that round of denomination.

44:23Romesh Ranganathan:I do a thing where I bring it full circle. Yeah, clever. Yeah, thank you. That's the most satisfying thing in comedy. What I thought I loved about your performance in this is you never look like you're, your character says some incredibly funny things and the way you play it is really funny, but it never looks like you're reaching for it. And that is, as like a comedy fan, I think it's to me it feels like really difficult to achieve that you know it takes resisting right I think yeah but a lot of the people in the show are are dramatic actors or Nicola primarily primarily does drama yeah so you don't want to be like the comedy that you're doing a Jim Carrey performance sure to someone that's quite based in reality but you're but then you're in a comedy you must have been I don't know I don't know I don't know how you how you resist the temptation to go I need to put something you know you're constantly thinking I need to put something into this right but you I mean well we did lots of different takes and there would have been takes like that where I've been hamming it up probably too much yeah but the people I like you know like people like Peter Cook he's so controlled yeah you know and And I would aspire to be like that, I guess.

45:45Yeah. If I'd thought about it more. It's more a thing I feel like when I watch someone who's very deadpan and controlled or very real but still funny. Yeah. Yeah. Then I think the same thing. I don't know if I find that about myself because watching myself I know what I'm trying to do. Yeah. I know I'm trying to be funny.

46:09Romesh Ranganathan:I mean, I just loved your performance. oh thanks so much i think it's it's such a great show one of the i might be because georgie watched it as well and we were thanks georgie yeah we were talking about who we side within it right because actually you're you're watching it thinking well that bastard yeah initially right and then you then you think then there's a reaction and then you i i found myself and did you as well find yourself flitting between who you kind of empathize with and whose side you're on throughout the thing is that is that i haven't watched it but reading the script yeah and and that's something you know that we've heard a lot that people change allegiances throughout the this this you call it you call it a series oh sorry rather than a season yeah sorry i don't know i don't know throughout the offering throughout the piece yeah but yeah I think that is what you kind of find yourself thinking, shit, what would I do in that situation?

47:12Romesh Ranganathan:How? Because basically Steve, I think that this is in the promo as well. Steve sleeps with. His best friend's daughter. His best friend's daughter. Yeah.

47:25Romesh Ranganathan:How serious do you think that is? Well, describing the premise, a few times people have told me about people they know, where something similar has happened. Yeah. And it has definitely broken real-life friendships. Yeah, I don't know. I was watching it thinking, I wonder... Because it's a really difficult thing to deal with, the age gap and all of that, and there's an ickiness to it and all of that sort of stuff. The show deals with that really, really well. Did you... Yeah, it's like a Woody Allen sort of story in that. It's an older guy, younger woman, But what if the young woman's mum was also the main character?

48:07Also, I feel uncomfortable. You know, I was worried. I was trying to argue that the daughter character would be older. She's 26 in the show. But I was thinking she could be 30, you know, and that would still be realistic to be that generation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Yelly, who plays that character, is so great. but when I met Yali I said how old are you and she said 17 and I just stood there and she said I'm joking I'm 20 and I was freaking out and then she was joking again and she is 26 but it was really unfair it was a really unfair prank to do to me on the first day did you find those scenes difficult no we had an intimacy coordinator and so we knew all the boundaries and I quite like that.

49:01Romesh Ranganathan:Intimacy coordinator. Yeah, it's a fairly new thing, and I've heard some people complain about it, but I think it's... Because it's awkward initially, isn't it? It always is anyway. But when you have the chat with the intimacy coordinator, it can be... Are you comfortable with her touching you on the chest? I wouldn't mind it at home. Yeah. It would smooth things out, wouldn't it? Yeah. but um Ramesh is not comfortable with you doing this but you can kiss her above the neck but it's awkward at first but so much like it's obviously a great thing I have an intimacy coordinator I think so yeah some people think it takes away the spontaneity yeah but I think if you're supposed to kiss someone that can mean so many different things there's so many different levels of kiss yeah and I think let's take away the spontaneity yeah you know I think spontaneity in those situations can lead to problems.

50:00Romesh Ranganathan:Do you remember in Avoidance when I had to kiss Aisling? Aisling's talked about this quite a lot as something she found incredibly uncomfortable. Now we get to hear your side. Not because of my behaviour. Good. But it's just because... Yeah, it is uncomfortable. Sometimes you don't know each other. You don't have that relationship with that person. And then you go, I don't know if she thinks this kiss is as full on as she, as I think. You don't want one person to make it like it's really difficult. Yeah, exactly. And then you sort of go, well, how full on do you think this is? And, you know, well, I think it's quite full on.

50:35Romesh Ranganathan:Well, how full on is quite full on? It's, you know, like quite. And then you don't want to misjudge that and then you're cancelled. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, I don't want to get cancelled full stop. I don't want to get cancelled for that. No. You're not going down like that. No. I'm going to go down at some point, but I don't want it to be for that. It's going to be. That would be such a rookie way of doing it. It's going to be for throwing the word Ranga around. Yeah. By the way, I should take this opportunity to say we don't agree with the use of that term.

51:07Romesh Ranganathan:And anybody who's of the red-headed persuasion who's been watching this. I don't think it's a persuasion. Of the red-headed breed.

51:19Romesh Ranganathan:Can I just say, I hope you're not afraid of anybody. So our use of the word wrangler, We're using an ironic way. And of course, we respect. We're trying to shine a light on it. Yeah. And we respect your species completely and fully. Okay. Glad to get that out of the way. But what I do want to say is we're about to play a little game here. But before we do play that game, I just want to say to you, it's an incredible show. Everybody's great in it. The story's great. It's really, really funny. Okay, cool. Let's play Misquoted. It's so awkward in here.

52:01Romesh Ranganathan:It's misquoted. So this is, I've got five quotes for you. Yeah. Three of them you said. Three I said. Yeah, and two of them we made up. And I'm supposed to know the difference. You don't have to know, but it's a fun guessing game. Okay. I'm going to move this bag. Okay. Yeah, that's good, actually. We do say that to all the guests. Move the bag before you do this. Okay. So here's your first one. Did you? Or did you not? Or did you not say this? I was resistant to kissing because I felt like I was going to suffocate someone. I imagine I did say that. What a dick. What that's about is because I've got big lips.

52:39Yeah. It was always such a point of bullying, I suppose.

52:46Romesh Ranganathan:You said it's a GQ in 2015. I'll give you the whole quote if you like. I'm already embarrassed. My first kiss came very late. Oh, my God. I sent this to GQ. My first kiss came very late because I was so self-conscious about my giant lips. You just took a sneaky look at them? Because it hadn't occurred to me that they were giant. They're similar to yours. Yeah, you've got a health... I think that's like a positive... Your lips look luscious and beautiful. Are we getting a kiss? I mean only if you want to not without it I think you've got great lips thank you man I was resistant to kissing because I felt I was going to suffocate someone stop reading it it's just the whole quote stop interrupting it so it didn't happen until adulthood really the woman what a strange choice of words the woman she's still a friend of mine and in the end I the woman

53:51Romesh Ranganathan:and in the end I had good feedback about the large lips

53:58yeah I have continued to receive good feedback

54:02Romesh Ranganathan:yeah good for you that's good and well deserved by the looks of them okay here's your next one did you did you it's so embarrassing no I think it's good it's honest man like you sort of think like large lip people that are reading GQ in 2015 have you got big lips don't worry about kissing people they love it they love the big lifts and you can still continue to be friends with the woman

54:37I'm so sorry

54:39Romesh Ranganathan:I just spat take off Georgia Georgie so you're one for one congratulations here's the second one Is it going to be increasingly more embarrassing? No, actually, I'm going to say, looking across this, that's probably... The most embarrassing. The most embarrassing, I would say. And I don't even think that's embarrassing. Okay, here's your second one. I just try and seem a lot cooler now than when I did that interview. It's difficult. It's hard. I know, it is hard. Because I've got the same thing, where you're trying to reinvent... You're trying to leave that behind. But actually... Yeah. You know, it's always there.

55:17Romesh Ranganathan:We're all big lip guys just trying to keep in touch. Here's your next one. Did you or did you not say this? People think I'm cool because I speak slowly. I don't think I said that. I hope I didn't. You didn't. Phew. You didn't. This is the real quote. In real life, I'm very low key. I'm a wallflower. What's wrong? I don't know. I said that. Yeah, well, actually, it says here, source unknown. I think I would have said that. Yeah. You know, it's just like the terms I've used here, like the woman, a wallflower. I know exactly what I would have been feeling where I've started a sentence and you don't know where it's going and you're like, I'm a wallflower.

56:04Yeah. It's like a word that I would have never, ever used before in my life.

56:08Romesh Ranganathan:But wallflower, that's relatable. that's relatable I don't think I've ever said it but I do I don't think I've ever said it before it's cool to say something you've never said before for the first time isn't it just know that you've got it in the locker we should try and think of a couple things we've never said before and say them in this that's a great idea I'll say one for you okay go on it's the Maori word for children tamariki but you've never said that before no I've not how do you pronounce that tamariki Tamariki yeah there you go first time okay that's the first time I've said that god it feels can you feel it in the room yeah here's your next one my Spotify did you say this or did you not my Spotify unwrapped is mostly Prince and Abba no I don't think I would have said that no you didn't say that I don't listen to a whole lot of Abba do you not but Prince yeah some Prince for sure sign of the times yeah great album here's the real quote describe describe this is you describing seeing ABBA Voyage twice with Matt Berry wait a minute I've only the first time I'm sure the first time I've told people about that was yesterday well it is from the times in 2026 I thought once was enough but he's a very big ABBA fan yeah yeah how was it I've heard people has anyone here seen ABBA Voyage yeah Did you love it?

57:39I enjoyed it. I actually found myself looking more at the musicians

57:43Romesh Ranganathan:than the live musicians. Right. So I've heard it's... Abatars? That's a lovely bit of work. Term naked, yes. I've heard it's incredible. But I mean, I'm not an ABBA fan. But even if you're not an ABBA fan, it's incredible. Is that true? Sometimes it seems real. Yeah. And sometimes they look CGI. Okay. there's moments there's moments where you believe it like were you moved was I moved it's it's it's moving how the audience are into it yeah and they're reacting as if they can hear them they can't so they're laughing at their jokes and they're going yeah you know like yeah yeah the audience loves ABBA yeah and Matt Berry loves ABBA yeah like really loves ABBA yeah good for Matt Okay, here's your last one.

58:38Romesh Ranganathan:Thank God. I've been told I look a bit like Lord Byron a bit. Someone told me I look like Jeff Goldblum. I know I've been told I look like Jeff Goldblum. I don't know if I've been told I look like Lord Byron, but I've played Lord Byron in a play. I'm going to say I didn't say it. But also you told me how many I said. I just can't remember. you did say but in character I see it in character yeah as Vladislav all right so you actually did say I've been in the movie or an outtake no it's in the thing it's in it right isn't it yeah we should edit that out why doesn't sound like a good bit of the movie do you think we look similar by the way you know I do Do you think so?

59:29Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. Do you think we look similar? Yeah. I think that people will think we look similar. Yeah. That's more. Yeah. I don't. It's not like looking in a mirror, but it's like, oh, you look like one of the guys people tell me I look like. Yeah. That's in a group with Jeff Goldblum. I could do, I could open a stand up gig by going, I know what you're thinking. Jermaine Clement's been on holiday. That would be a workable opener, right? It's good. I loved it. Yeah. that brings us almost to the end of our time together I'll miss you yeah I'll miss you too now we like to end the podcast on a at the end I mean because we started at the beginning remember I'm trying to call back I'm not so good with it I need script these days I think it would have worked if you hadn't apologised for it so much I think it was good now we like to end the podcast at the end

1:00:29Romesh Ranganathan:that was so sarcastic now what we normally end with is like a after an exclusive like a dream you have a hidden talent I was only told this in the car on the way here are you serious I don't look at the emails and see all the things you have to do I knew I was coming here right so you knew the location I don't know where I am no but you knew you were coming here to do a podcast I knew the podcast I'm familiar with this podcast An exclusive Can I ask a musical question? Sure You've done loads of impressions of artists Bowie for example is really strong Are there any artists that you can do impressions of that you haven't put into a song A musical artist?

1:01:11Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah

1:01:19I was going to try Leonard Cohen I feel like that will be easy If you want a lover I'll do anything you want me to this is your exclusive yes

1:01:34Romesh Ranganathan:please everybody could you give it up for Jermaine Clumman thank you so much for watching and listening to this episode before you go if you've enjoyed this episode and you've not subscribed that's a bold decision crazy behaviour follow and subscribe to the Romesh Ranganathan show wherever you listen it helps me really like really helps me it helps the team and it costs you absolutely nothing we drop episodes every monday and thursday mondays i'm joined by great guests thursdays my mum shanthi joins me to answer your questions and family dilemmas i'll see you thursday with mum who let's face it is who you're actually here for if you've got a problem you want to solve or a story you want to share send it to podcast at ranga b.com voice not or text us on 07731 623 355 We can't promise good advice, but you might end up on the show.

1:02:23Romesh Ranganathan:See you soon! Oh, shut up, Romesh. Spring just slid into your DMs. Grab that boho look for that rooftop dinner, those sandals that can keep up with you, and hang some string lights to give your patio a glow up. Spring's calling. Ross, work your magic. Good energy in. Good energy out.

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