Joy Crookes: Making Music, Heritage & Thierry Henry

0:00How do you say Ramesh Ranganathan but in like a Tamil way? Ranganathan. Ranganathan. Yeah. Do I have to say I am Joy Crooks? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I am Joy Crooks. I'm 5 '7 and I regularly breathe. And I'm also on the Romesh Ranganathan show. So, yeah. Watch it.

0:22It's the Romesh Rangai Nathan Show. Oh, shut up, Romesh. so um we're gonna do your intro now joy okay my guest today happy so far is a brit award nominated singer songwriter from south london a debut album skin reached the uk top five and received a mercury prize nomination cementing her as one of britain's most distinctive new artists she sold out her first uk tour in hours has clocked up millions of streams in its grace of pyramid stage at glasdenberry a highly anticipated second album juniper is out now and she's touring the UK, Europe and Australia. It's Joy Crooks.

1:02Why are you? I'm so excited to have you on the show. Thanks. I'm really excited to be here. Thank you for coming on. That's totally fine. How are you? I'm okay. How are you? Good, thank you. That's supposed to lead into some sort of light chat. All right. How are you? Very well. What have you been doing? Have you just been enjoying your second album being out? I have been. What have I been doing? I've been like making new music. Are you always making music? I don't know. It feels that way right now. It just feels like when something massive comes out, there's so much work towards it and there's so much like outward facing stuff that it's quite nice to be inwards and just like in the studio.

1:47So what's the cycle? You bring out Juniper and then what does your time look like then after it comes out? Are you just turning up to loads of PR opportunities? A couple. Yeah. But not loads. Yeah. It's really hard to explain. Yes, I guess I have been. There's like photo shoots. Yeah. My concept of time at the moment is really, really bad. Why? I did like an ADHD test yesterday. Yeah. Did you do a proper one or did you just do with the online one? On the internet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They ask you 10 questions. Yeah, yeah, 10 questions. They're like, you're fucked. I've done it so many times. yeah so did you get did you get yes i got adhd yeah yeah apparently but all comedians have it apparently so it's not a novelty yeah maybe that maybe that's the case for me then i think i might have so what did it say how strong i don't know because there's basically at the end you have to pay a pound that's what happened to me i forgot my card details and my phone was switched off so i couldn't like when i remembered them i couldn't prove that it was real i think it should say if you can't be bothered to go through the procedure of paying for this you probably have adhd do you know if you if they're asking you to pay pay for it and then you you just go i can't be asked to do this it was so long i can't be asked to complete this diagnosis i like got my boyfriend to try and pay for it and then i tried and then it was all just like a mess and then he got really mad at me because we were watching traitors and he was like why are you doing this while we're watching this show and i was like i don't know and then i was like does this not just give away that i might yeah i think you do have it just based on this chat if i was a doctor that's my I wanted I would diagnose you with it now someone said that I speak in crossroads what does that mean I mean like you're trying to go down the road you're just always met with

3:32that's how it feels yeah anyway yeah I've been making music we're back on the road um I've been making music um and I've been like you know selling my record and I've been getting ready for tour which i'm really excited about and like just like buying new instruments and stuff yeah yeah can you play loads of instruments like i can do them i can do it badly which i think is actually quite charming sometimes yeah like a lot of my guitar parts sometimes my my guitarist in my band he's my md is like i could never play how you play and i'm like what does that mean i'm like Is that a compliment or an insult?

4:11But I think it's a compliment. Yeah, it is. I'm going to take it. You're playing with a bit of soul or something. Maybe. Now, before we get into it, we've actually got a gift for you. Okay. Is it a bonsai? We'll play it that way. What makes you think that? There's one there. Yeah, it is a bonsai. It is a bonsai. But why do you... Hold on, hold on, hold on. Why do you need to hide? How do you immediately know that's the gift, though? Because I was checking it out. I thought it was really cool. Oh, did you? I got a bonsai the other day. Oh, well, that's yours. Oh, sick. I love bonsais. Really? Yeah, is it, what's it, what kind of bonsai is it?

4:45It's a non, it's non-juniper. That's great. Yeah. Yeah. That's not the official, it's non-us juniper. Are you actually being serious? Yes. Yeah. Oh, thank you so much. How will I put that in my fire tag bag? Well, that's, yeah. I mean, that's the big issue. You don't actually have to take it. It's so nice. But that's for you. Wait, are you being serious? Yeah. Well, I want it. Well, you can have it. There's the bonsai feeder as well. Yeah. You can have the feeder as well. Do you want me to put it down or are you happy with it over there? Actually, can I see it? Joy, if you don't mind me saying, you've gone from seeming quite grateful to quite demanding quite quickly.

5:19Welcome to the Chronicles of a Brown Woman.

5:26Hello. And there's also a little... We put the scissors in there. I don't know if you watched... Top Gear. I was going to say Karate Kid. No. Karate Kid. Is that the one with Jaden Smith? That's the new one, isn't it? The old one. It was a shame when they do that, isn't it? What do you mean? Just remake something that didn't need to be remade. Well, can I provide a counterpoint to that? Please, please, yeah. Force Awakens is basically the original Star Wars film remade, right? It's the same film. Is it the first one? It's the first one of the new lot, right? And it's basically a remake. not a shot for shot remake but it's it's a it's the same story okay you know there's a like new actors yeah but new characters completely different characters but they're telling it's the same film did they do that thing where they introduced a diversity quota yeah yeah yeah and you go oh there's a lot of uh there's a lot of hispanics in this cantina there was there was one there was one storyline um where uh basically whenever they introduced for some with films like that one of the problems of films like that is is that even though it's set in a galaxy far far away a long long time ago yeah if you introduce any people of color into it the fans get really angry because they say in that galaxy a long time ago everyone was white right and i don't mind aliens do they actually say i don't mind different aliens i don't mind creatures with tentacles coming out of their ass but if you have somebody that's like a human that isn't white that's too much for me i can't take this anymore.

7:07I can't do it. But anyway, the point is, the Star Wars film, a remake, I was watching it with my son and I thought I should show him the original film because he's really loving this. But then it occurred to me watching the film, it's edited for people with much shorter attention spans. Oh, the newer one? Yeah. So you go to, you watch the original Star Wars film, there's like Obi-Wan Kenobi and Luke Skywalker have a 10 minute chat in his living room. Right, yeah. But that would just never run in the new one. that's you're never going to get away with that it's got to be like somebody's head falls off yeah something has to happen something has to happen and so like that's really sad though yeah i mean my last night one uh one of my kids uh no the night before one of my kids didn't really doesn't matter which night it is does it but one of my kids went to watch cool runnings couldn't get into it it's like when are they going to get in the fucking bobsleigh this is mad oh my gosh yeah cool runnings that's cool running that's not good so i think they need to remake Cool Runnings with a little bit of like, I don't know, combat.

8:07Anyway, good to have you here, Joy. Thank you so much. Congratulations on Juniper. What an album. Thanks so much. How does it feel to be this talented? I don't, I have so many complexes. Why? I don't know, but I just do. Sometimes I'm like, yeah, yeah, I've got this. And then other times I'm like, oh no. So it's just the usual human condition that I suffer from. Right. When you were putting the album together, because obviously it's been really well received, when you're putting it together, do you know, do you have a feeling that what you're doing is really, really good? Or is it literally when it goes out, that's when you have an idea?

8:44No, I had a feeling before because the whole point of this second album, I used to go and buy Enemy magazine all the time in WH Smith and Elephant and Castle when I was a kid. And I was always so scared of people's second albums because if I really liked an artist's first album, I was like, oh, I wonder if they're going to do as well for this second. Case in point, Snoop Dogg. Yeah, that's actually who I was thinking of, funny enough. I mean, the Dogfather is one of the biggest drop-offs in music history, right? No offence, Snoop, we'd love you on the podcast. but is it really is it really bad i don't know but look doggy style incredible album is that his first one yeah and then the second one was just dog father yeah so i feel like we've seen a lot of like second albums not do as well like the first does like my first album had a lot of like critical success and then i was really nervous so before i wrote any of juniper i was like anything in juniper i was like it has to it has to sound good in its rarest form and i have to like close lots of doors so that I don't just get gassed with myself so for me the goal was to always like g-check myself throughout the process and be like oh is this actually good is this song actually good um does this stand like by itself on its own like am I just I don't know like decorating a poo or is this genuinely like a good thing I just knew from the bare bones and I wrote everything on bass because bass doesn't dictate harmonics and I wanted to introduce like limitations everywhere that I could so that I just didn't think I was like the dog's bollocks um did that come from you that decision it was like a psychological thing I did before I wrote anything like I sat myself down and I was like you need to like absolute okay basically the my theory was I need to basically create the exact same environment I was making music in when I was a teenager right and that because that's when people make their best stuff best stuff yeah all your best stuff is when you basically don't know what you're doing yeah or you're in like extreme flow state um which means you're not thinking about like food or how posh the studio you're in you're you're in is or anything like that so i was like okay cool i'm going to create as much limitation as possible um i tried to do the whole writing in la thing absolutely not for me how long did you go for i've spent like over like probably accumulated a year in la and i can't i can't do what happened you just you're going to in and out a lot just like no i went like once and i was like this is too salty and i really like salty stuff and i was like this is just a step too far um i don't know i just like they don't get my sense of humor there and then that just that just means no one gets me if that makes any sense well listen i'm going to say this ben and i did a show out there we were we were in la for like six months we were doing i was doing promo for it and um we're doing a recorded interview that's going to go out on something and uh they said to me why you used to be a teacher what what made you how come you've ended up doing this and I said oh because and I just said it like very dryly I said oh because you know when I was teaching it was all about sort of furthering the futures of children and stuff and uh I wanted to be about me you know so I walked away from that and now I feel much more satisfied then the interview finished and they said do you want us to keep in that teaching stuff because it does make it look like you don't like the children I think, yeah, I think I actually, how long ago did you go to America and do this?

12:04What was that? 2018? 2018, yeah. I feel like I might have seen some of this, but it's just like they don't understand. And no offence to like California, there are loads of funny people there, but I just. There's like three or four, easy, right? Like at least four, yeah. But it was just really difficult and I just didn't feel very understood there. so I just came back to London I was like I make the best music in South London for some weird reason and wrote everything on a bass line because you can't chords dictate harmonics and bass lines don't and so you have almost more to play around with but you are strangely more limited got you and if everything sounded good in its rarest form like just drums and bass then for me that was an indicator that they were good songs it's like you're making the meal without any seasoning at all and if it's good then, then it's going to be great with a bit of...

12:57No, it's not like that. It's like being able to make potatoes. It's not like that, is it? It's like being able to make... That couldn't be further from it. Yeah, it's not that, actually. No, what is it? Is this the part where I mentioned that South Asian men need to learn how to cook? How do you know I don't know how to cook? I'm just saying. Anyway. How dare you? How dare you assume I don't know how to cook? Can you cook? Huh? this album

13:28is that a thing then yeah it's such a thing what the South Asian men can't cook they can yeah if they're like nah I just feel like South Asian like yes there are South Asian men that can cook but like there's just what about Bryn who won MasterChef I'm just like trying to say this without cussing out too many brown men yeah sure Okay, here's a good exercise. Imagine I'm the archetype brown man that you're annoyed with. I'll take on that role and you tell me what you're annoyed about, okay? Why did it take you 25 years to learn how to wipe your own bottom?

14:11Huh? Okay. It's just rice. Why can't you cook it? Okay. Do you want me to respond to these or just take them? No, no, just take them. You said you would take them. Yeah, I'll take them. And why do you spend more time at Hoppers than actually in your own mum's kitchen? And yeah, how come you can't cook?

14:37Do you not know what I mean, though? I do know what you mean. Yeah, it's a thing. Like my little brother, absolutely zero interest in cooking. Like my mum's one of the best chefs ever. And I'm not as good as my mum, but I feel like, I don't know, this all just sounds it all sounds anti-feminist as well i'm just going to stop talking no it sounds pro-feminist actually maybe yeah because men because you're annoyed with men for not taking that on yeah go on well like brown men just need to learn to get better yeah what do you so so i'm done now yeah i'm gonna go home but um i'm i've got a brother with my mum and he had boys and she actually and i'd love you to chat to her joy because she's actually very protective of her recipes and she won't share them to you no but it's because they don't write anything down so you just have to watch like my mom i she taught me how to make a lamb curry like a year ago and she just goes yeah i put this that and then some this and then yeah and i'm like none of this makes any sense also they don't measure anything yeah so i was like okay i'm gonna try and write this down but it literally doesn't make any sense so i basically have to I have to like learn it via sight, not like writing it down.

15:46Yeah. If that makes sense. Well, when my mum wrote it down, it was like fry some onions, be angry with your father, add some cumin seeds, call me more. You know, you can't. It's a really weird set of instructions for an overstream curry. The call me more is really real. It's really real. My mum's got a new thing where she writes all my texts, or she texts me and all the texts are written by ChatGPT. so what sort of things do they say just to use the words that artists that i love you but that's not in your vocabulary is it if i read you like you know how people when they get cosmetic surgery they do a before and after yeah if we did that for the text my mom sent pre-chat gpt and after it's nuts do you want me to yeah please i've been ruminating on your last correspondence no like like actually actually i love my mom so much i really miss how she used to text me and now also all the texts are this long now holy shit yeah i don't understand right hold on could we get a little segment okay here we go hi joe

16:59yep that's a real text she sent hi mom um and now it's like this it was my it was her birthday the other day and she was really grateful for me coming over and like you know schmoozing our mates and stuff and she goes it made me so proud to see the amazing woman you are kind generous and full of heart. You truly made the day special for everyone and especially for me. And I'm like, you used to call me Joe.

17:31It's so weird. It's like talking to like an AI version of my mum or something. Yeah. Anyway. My mum often apologises to my wife for the... For you? Yeah. My mum does the exact same to my boyfriend. Really? Yeah, literally. She's sort of like, if I'd have done more with him, he might have been easy to live with. I'm so sorry, Lisa. I look at him now, I've given you a useless. Literally. Just a piece of crap. My mum's the same. Yeah. The same. Yeah. That's why when I first saw you and your mum in Sri Lanka, I can't remember what the name of the show was. Ajit Vokta. Yeah. When did that come out?

18:09It was so needed for me. I just felt probably the most seen I've ever felt. Really? Yeah, I think when I first met you and sat next to you at Graham Norton, that was the first thing I mentioned. I think I told you and was like, my mum is the same as your mum. Like, my mum is the same. And also there's this, like, perpetual resting face that they have too where they constantly look disappointed, you know? Like, even though my second album's out, it will be, like, four star. Oh, no. Why not five?

18:44I'm like it's the guardian it's like but it's like this perpetual like like something stinks but only when you're around that I really really relate to I still haven't got used to I'm frequently asking my mum if she's alright same because she just like that it's really hard isn't it and then like once my mum she would she would send me because when stuff came out I tend to not get I mean people a lot of journalists sort of hate me or like I get really shit reviews from specific people certain people in particular and I so I stopped reading them because I don't want to I just don't want to put it in my head yeah and my mum will get angry screen grab them and say who is this asshole and I go mum I don't want to see this but isn't that way that's their way of saying that they love us because they will scrap.

19:40Like if my mum met Alexis from Guardian, I think she'd scrap him for that one start. I genuinely think she'd scrap him. Genuinely. How can you bring the shame to me? You know? Does your mum, what does your mum, does she listen to your music and is she able to like, does she give you real feedback? She, she, the, she listens to it every day. Every single day. She's got a Merc and when you walk into the car and you know when you turn the key on you press the button the first thing is just a picture of my face on the screen which is really sweet obviously yeah but it just never like what i love is that she just always keeps me on my toes because she would have just cost me for an hour we're getting in the car and then it's just like me playing you know it's like when do i win um but she does listen to me loads but she'll be like it's all in her face whether she likes a song or not and whether she does like the the mark dance or not yeah um so can you tell if she doesn't like something absolutely absolutely can tell she goes like hmm you know like she wants like something could be made better when actually she's just laughing is shit and then does that affect your decision about it at all right to be fair i thought she didn't like juniper and then i realized i hadn't sent her like the whole album link and then she called me and she was like oh no this is really good and i was like yeah no i i i thought so as well but for like two weeks i was like damn my mom doesn't like my album yeah that's horrible but this is before it came out obviously i sent her like a untitled link but um i don't know it's just you can never i can never impress you i can't do that i can't live by mom and dad no and also yeah yeah i mean i just my mum doesn't really um she just sort of she has the equal feedback for whatever it is even if something's been crap like she's come to watch me trying out new material and I've absolutely like died on my ass and then she'll come in and she'll go wonderful I'm walking on air and I'm just like I just ate shit like nobody laughed for the whole time but then anything outside of my job she will absolutely rip me like there's no you don't get any positives for me it It all just depends on what it is.

21:58I just remember I did Radio 1 Big Weekend this year and I was a bridesmaid the night before. So you got on it? It was rough. It turned out we did the reception in the crypt. I think I got a virus in the crypt because the next morning I was on the loo headed to Liverpool and I tried to sing notes. Nothing was happening. And my mum's reaction to that was, I feel like it was fair, but she was so vexed that she started calling all my mates and my boyfriend to be like... To get extra bollocking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then what did you do for the performance? I remember I drank a cup of tea, steamed my voice, and I walked on stage and I just said to myself, what happens, happens.

22:43And during Pass the Salt, they put a hazer and I just started coughing on the mic. I had an actual coughing fit. But luckily it's the BBC, so they just chopped that bit out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've got a question from my mum for you. Are you serious? Yeah. I'm gassed. She's voice noted it. Hi, Joy. I'm Ramesh's mum. I know you are a fantastic singer. You've spoken a lot about your heritage. What is the most important thing you have learned from your mum? Please let me know. I'll be very grateful. Thank you. Love you. It's funny because if you put her and I in a room, we'd probably get on like a house on fire um we sorry my mom okay I feel like the most important thing I've learned from my mom is my bolshiness yeah I think I just I have like a I have like a jagged side that is actually as I've gotten older I've realized how important that is for me and like also being in music i just have that and i think it's also from my irish side too but my mom would scrap yeah i think if she had to i just think that she has like a way where she can be really charming but she also can still get her way and i know that sounds capitalist but it has served me really well in music um just having like the team player thing that she has but then also like a very fiery side but the hard thing is finding like softness with that fieriness as well um and i think actually to answer your mom's question something i've learned from my mom is to be like the softness when she needs it and vice versa and she can be that for me like whenever i get sick my mom goes from fire to like water yeah and that's always really beautiful so i don't know probably that kind of spiky side is how has been helpful and and has your uh heritage on both sides is that have you been conscious of that like influencing your music and stuff or i mean bangladeshies and irish people are like really famous for or like known for literature and like music and like they're the folk kind of heritage like the folk um tradition and culture in both of those cultures is really, really strong.

25:15And I feel like protest is really strong in both. Yeah. And I feel like I get a lot of that. Was it politicised in your house? I mean, you feel strongly about things, right, and you're quite vocal about that. Honestly, like, yes and no. Yeah. No, maybe. Yeah. A little bit. My dad is from North Dublin. Yeah. That comes with... That's real. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And if it wasn't in like, my parents were split when I was really, really young. So if it wasn't in my Irish household, then it was in like, in Ireland when I was in Dublin with my family. And some of the things that my granny and granddad would say.

25:50I feel like my mum and dad were like, sometimes when I think about growing up, and I don't know if you found this with your mum, but sometimes I was aware that my mum and dad were in a country that they didn't come from. And sometimes I don't think I realized it at the time, but sometimes I have memories of my dad doing things that I felt now him trying to assimilate and fit in. Absolutely. You know, like he would say things or he'd do stuff. And now when I look back at it, I feel like it's a symptom of him being nervous about not fitting in. Absolutely. Yeah, I've seen that tenfold. And I've got to be honest with you, it's some of my saddest memories.

26:34Because not that I think my dad did anything wrong, but as he got older, he became a lot more comfortable. And I think the climate changed and, you know, and actually differences came to be more celebrated. Celebrated, yeah, yeah, yeah. Whereas I think, you know, when my mum and dad first came over in like the mid-70s, I feel like they were just a bit nervous about standing out, you know. For sure. And it gives you, when you see those kind of like assimilation moments, I want to call them, I feel, I remember when I was really young, it would make me feel a little bit embarrassed and I wouldn't know why I felt embarrassed.

27:10I know, I know, that sort of, that weird cringe that you can't. The weird cringe where you know that you still have compassion, but you also feel equally confused. Yeah. Like, you never say that or you never speak like that. Yeah. What's that accent? Yeah. You know, I even had it with my dad. I actually, I had that a lot. I feel like I had that a lot of my dad. There were like some, it's really sweet. My dad pronounces a lot of things wrong. Or if he tries to make like a cultural reference, like he told me when he lived in, when he moved to the UK, he used to like tell people he used to read Violet, Violet LaDuck.

27:44And I think it's Violet LaDoux or something. But like, bless him. Like he doesn't know any. Yeah. And he called Frida Carlo, Frida Kalou my whole childhood. Really? Frida Kalou. Yeah. Cause he just like. But at least those names are getting thrown about and you're charted. Oh yeah, no, sick. But like I was going around saying Frida Kahlu. You know? And in an Irish accent. Yeah. This episode is brought to you by ITV. Unsurprisingly, I know a fair bit about telly. So I reckon you can say that the best TV is the kind that you can connect with. And ITV has loads of it. I love that feeling that you're part of something.

28:20When you watch the right show, you're suddenly connected to millions of other people without even trying. And for me, that's the masked singer. the most surreal guessing game on earth. My whole family confidently claims they know exactly who's under the costume, but one week they genuinely thought it was me. It wasn't. No one is ever right, not once, but that's the magic of it. The fun, the arguing, the chaotic togetherness. And then there's the stuff I watch with my family. My mum loves loose women. I genuinely think she'd be great on there because it means she'd be away from home. She already gives me her opinions every day, so she might as well be doing it on telly.

28:48And of course the women's Euros. Who could forget that magic moment, the whole country celebrating at the same time. Come on, you lionesses. that's when TV really gives you that sense of belonging whether you're in a packed room or watching on your sofa. So whether you want to keep up with whatever people are raving about online tune in to a major national moment or just make sure you're up to date for all that catch up chat in the office there's no place like ITV. When I first became aware of you I didn't know what your background was actually and then it was only when we spoke about Asian provocateur that I realised.

29:20Oh yeah yeah. But look I'm just going to ask a very open question okay and you can answer it or not i'm nervous but we need more cool brown people don't we i think we got loads i actually think that maybe people need to dial in on them more and give them more love and nurture them and i just think that like for all the screen time mia gets while she's like anti-vax and like selling extremely foil hoods i don't mind the foil to be fair i think that was quite cool aesthetically it's good but then when you read what it's for though it starts the 5g thing yeah and i wonder why my bluetooth is not working when i'm wearing the trousers but i actually have the chances um but um i feel like for example i think of someone like jay paul and like how he just got done so dirty and i just think that um if there was more support and care there for like brown musicians or brown actors or you know cool brown people for lack of better words i think that we would see that more often but i think it's because of the lack of support and support from who though i feel like from the industries right um because it's so we end up accidentally becoming like trailblazers because there aren't that many of us yeah and i don't like being the only one in the room i don't get off on that i'm not fucking pretty patel um but i just think that if there was more support in industries then we would see more of that yeah that's my theory on it well i just i i feel like you know and it's a difficult if you think about what proportion of the british population is made up of south asians and then you look at how much that translates to how many you see in the media and you know but i'm talking like football i'm talking music yeah all of that yeah i mean sometimes i say a lot i'll see like a kick racism out of football slogan and i think i'd love some more of us to be there to be racist too

31:27i'd love to hear i'd love to hear the people on drop to the football ground because it means one of us is playing i do i do i do i do of course but that's the thing i just think if there was more support because ultimately like I don't want to believe in this stereotype but it is real our parents aren't that happy when we go into these kinds of jobs like my mum definitely wasn't happy about me becoming a musician initially because I mean I wasn't particularly happy about it either because I didn't know it was a real job so there aren't and and there aren't like safety nets anywhere and also the precarity of her moving to this country and building the life that she did for us to have and then for me to just look like I'm blowing it all and becoming a musician with no no support around like that's probably why as well you know that there aren't as many of us I think that's a big part of it I think like you know my uh parents my dad came over finished his qualifications they were really adamant that my brother and I got a great education and then for them to then say to your parents thanks for like all of your support I'm now going to do something that requires no education whatsoever, you know, and I'm going to roll the dice on like a really precarious career.

32:39It's terrifying if you think about everything that they've endured for you to. Yeah. Like just the most basic sense of security here. Yeah. And then you go, oh, I've decided I'm going to try and make money from saying what I think out loud on stage. You know, like it's mad. It's like almost disrespectful. It is disrespectful. I dropped out when I was 16. Yeah. And my mum created this kind of pact of my mates that she would see them all the time and just talk A-levels with them to make them indoctrinate me instead of her doing it. It was a thing for two years, I'm not joking. My mates would meet up with me and be like, have you been thinking of college or something?

33:23We're having pints, what are you on about? No, that happened to me. I had the same thing. I got some, this guy, like Sri Lankan guy, about a couple of years older than me or something. One day mum said, oh, he really wants to take care of for lunch. And I was like, okay. So then we went out for lunch and then he just, he just basically gave me this lecture about knuckling down and getting on with things. I was like, holy shit, this is an intervention. I've had those, yeah. I thought this guy just wanted to hang out because he thought I had a bit of a vibe. But it turns out I'm really underachieving to the point where mum's getting in outside help.

33:58Outside Sri Lankan help. Being rich, I love. Just like, he'll fix it. I'm just sort of sat there, he's just going, and you know, it's about making the most of your opportunities. I'm just trying to fuck, you're ruining these noodles, man. Yeah, trust me. Oh, God. But yeah, I think it's an interest. I do think you make good points. I think it's partly that we're not seen in those spaces as much, and it's partly because you're right. It feels almost bad to go into something that's so unpredictable. Absolutely. The chances of you achieving what you have done are so small. They're like really, really, really small.

34:41Infantessimally small. And even though I'm just half Bangladeshi too, I don't think there's, okay, I might be wrong, but I'm pretty sure this is true. I think I'm the only Bangladeshi person signed to a major label in the world, potentially. In the world? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure. I don't know any other Bangladeshi sign to a major. Oh my God. I don't know any. And that doesn't, like, that makes me extremely, extremely frustrated. Yeah. I'm the only Sri Lankan origin plant-based, arsenal-supporting, lazy-eyed comedian sign to a major.

35:45Okay. Time for a game we like to call misquoted. Okay.

35:55It's misquoted. This is where I'm going to give you some quotes. Sounds scary. Some of them you said, some of them you didn't. You just have to guess. Oh, no. And it leads to some light discussion. This is the first one. I talk to a lot of people. It's quite a short quote, isn't it? I talk to a lot of people. Is that it? That's it, yeah. I probably did say that. No. No, you did, you did. I think I'm just interested. I'm going on to the rest of the... I talk to a lot of people. Yeah, he said that in an interview. I think I'm just interested in it. That's such a weird thing to say. I've said so many things.