Miriam Margolyes on Harry Potter, Blackadder & How To Be Confident

19:29Romesh Ranganathan:but what sort of things do they ask you? Well, they ask me, you know, who was my best fuck or something like that. They ask you that. Yeah. Audience members will say, Miriam, who was your best fuck? They put it on an iPad. Right. But they write the words, who's your best fuck? Yeah. And would you answer those questions? Of course. You have to answer every question that your audience asks you. You will answer every question? So what's your answer to who's your best fuck then? Well, I think I would have to say my partner. Right. Because I haven't fucked lots and lots of people. Okay. I'm not like you.

20:21Romesh Ranganathan:Do I give you the impression that I fuck lots of people? Yeah. Do I? Yeah. That's not true. I'm glad I give off that vibe. Why are you glad? Because it's, you know... It's not the best vibe to give out. Oh, shit, no. No, it's not. I'm sorry, I'm not glad. I'm indifferent.

20:44You're a liar as well, aren't you? Fucking hell. No, I think... I came late to sex. You came early.

20:56Romesh Ranganathan:That's true, many times. Well, that's... I've heard that a lot. And now, the funny thing is, it seems to me so far in the distance that I can barely remember actual fucks. Right. You know, because they are blend. Yeah, but when you say actual fucks, you mean like the individual fucks? The individual moment of joy, of discovery, of exquisite joy and pain and thrills and all that. Yeah. I think it's a jolly good thing. Fucking. Yes. But it's not the most important thing to me anymore. No. I think it was at one time, but not anymore. Right. Okay. So your partner is the answer. Now, we're talking about making money.

21:43Romesh Ranganathan:Yes. Is this true? £320 ,000 from Cameo? Well, it's actually more now. Okay. And thankfully, the odious niggle has withdrawn from Cameo. Who is the odious niggle? Mr. Garage. Oh, I see. I did question time with him. Yes, he's been on that a lot. He has, isn't he? It's quite controversial how much he's been on it, actually. What was your reaction, your immediate reaction to him on that? Well, we got into it a little bit. And then because it was around the time of Brexit and I had just been on to the the vote leave kind of website, you know, their campaign website. And I remember there was a picture of an immigration officer asleep at his desk.

22:39Romesh Ranganathan:And then there were lots of kind of cultural stereotypes, like this caricature of cultural stereotypes sneaking into the country next to him. and so I had just seen that that day and so I was like thoroughly like pissed off and so he and I sort of got into it a little bit because I just felt like they were I'm saying an obvious thing they were demonising immigrants in order to put their argument across and using stereotypes and they're coming to steal everything and all of that kind of stuff very much kind of a Diet Coke version of the kind of rhetoric we're seeing now it was being smuggled at that stage Now it's much more openly being said and, you know, and so it's got much more dangerous now than it was.

23:24Romesh Ranganathan:But yeah, we got into it a little bit. But then, to be honest with you, Miriam, after, so I was sat, it was all politicians apart from me and they're all going at it. And to be honest with you, all of the politicians, all of the other MPs and other guests were having a go at Nigel. The thing that shocked me the most is as soon as it finished, they were all so chummy. I couldn't get my head around it, you know. So it felt like it was a bit of a, you know, I guess they have to get on. But I was surprised that people that were so opposed in their views were just, you know, I think they went out for a drink afterwards.

23:57Probably. Well, I think that's partly what's wrong with the world, that people don't care enough inside, deeply care about how there is exclusion, separation. bridges, borders, wars. What's happened to the English? Maybe we were always like that. I don't know. I hope not because I love being English, principally because of the language. Yeah. The language. We have the best language. You think so? Oh, without a doubt. Well, we've colonized everybody else's. You know, that's why. All the Indian words we have like bungalow. I mean, whoa, jodhpurs, yes. It's fabulous.

24:50Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, yeah. So you've made more than£320 ,000? Yes. As of now, I've made, I think,£570 ,000 at the last count. £570 ,000 from Cameo? Yes, that was, but that's not, I mean, that's the whole shebang since I joined Cameo. But is that, but then are you having to do it all the time? Are you doing all the time? Like how many hours a day are you spending on Cameo? Well, I try not to spend more than a couple of hours on it. A day? A day. Okay. Because, you know, there's life's for living. Sure. And, but people are asking. One of the things I noticed is that the Cameos now are asking for advice. and for what they call pep talks rather than happy birthday, you know, or something like that.

25:46Romesh Ranganathan:So people ask for you to give them advice on something. I know. And it's difficult because they don't give you enough information to know that you're telling them useful stuff. Yeah. But I'm very grateful to Cameo. I have to be honest because it means that I can spend rather more freely than I would have done otherwise. but Nigel Farage was on Cameo and I don't think that's right I don't think a politician should be doing that I really don't I'm not a politician I'm not standing for office I've just got my hand out for money that's what I'm doing that's honourable

26:28Romesh Ranganathan:I actually didn't want to get this opportunity to say thank you to Nigel for doing that birthday message from my son now we've got chronic migraine is 15 or more headache days a month, each lasting four hours or more. Botox on a botulinum toxin A prevents headaches in adults with chronic migraine before they start. It's not for those with 14 or fewer headache days a month. It prevents on average eight to nine headache days a month versus six to seven for placebo. Prescription Botox is injected by your doctor. Effects of Botox may spread hours to weeks after injection causing serious symptoms. Alert your doctor right away as difficulty swallowing, speaking, breathing, eye problems, or muscle weakness can be signs of a life-threatening condition.

27:06Romesh Ranganathan:Patients with these conditions before injection are at highest risk. Side effects may include allergic reactions, neck and injection site pain, fatigue, and headache. Allergic reactions can include rash, welts, asthma symptoms, and dizziness. Don't receive Botox if there's a skin infection. Tell your doctor your medical history, muscle or nerve conditions, including ALS Lou Gehrig's disease, myasthenia gravis or Lambert-Eaton syndrome, and medications, including botulinum toxins, as these may increase the risk of serious side effects. Why wait? Ask your doctor, visit BotoxChronicMigraine.com or call 1-800-44-BOTOX to learn more.

27:37Romesh Ranganathan:We've got a question from my mother, actually. Yes. It's on voice notes. So let's hear it now. I don't know what this question is. Hi, Miriam. This is Ramesh's mum here. What's the best and worst part of being in your 80s? I am not there yet. but you are an inspiration have a wonderful day love to meet you and I watch all your program love you so much, bye that's nice isn't it that's lovely, what is your mum called? Shanti Shanti, Shanti Shanti, thank you for that lovely message I'm very flattered that you like what I have to offer so So let me answer the question. The worst thing about being 80 is my weak pelvic floor.

28:38I piss myself all the time and everywhere I go, I always take spare knickers because you never know. And that's honestly the truth. I don't like it and I don't say it to be funny. I say it because it's true and it's a bloody nuisance. But if I'd done pelvic floor exercises, maybe I wouldn't be so pissy. But that's the worst thing. So, darling Shanti, do your pelvic floor exercises. Okay. Thank you. And the best thing about being 80, and I'm going to be 85 in six weeks. the best thing I think is not not being afraid to meet people not being afraid to go into a room and just be sometimes that's because people know who I am and they're sort of starstruck because they think I'm a star but I it gives me confidence I feel more empowered, I believe is the word now, to be and just to go into a room and talk to people, which is what I love doing.

30:04And by the way, may I congratulate you on the son that sits beside me at the moment. He's not without fault, of course, neither am I. But he is a generous, gentle, well brought up young man and i know that's because of you oh that's so lovely oh mama love

30:28Romesh Ranganathan:that um do you think that you know you talked about getting more confident about walking into a room and when you arrived here you know you know you're being mirry margley's there's no you know you're just in do you think that's because i mean you said it's because you're in your is it because you're in your 80s or because you're because of your celebrity what which one do you think it is I don't honestly know because I think I've always been a show off. And because my friends, those who are still alive from school days, they tell me that I was always a bit like that. But I think it does, the fact that people might have seen me or know who I am already means that when I speak to them, they're not going to be frightened or think I'm going to hurt them or something.

31:26so that is nice and I tell you honestly Ramesh when I go on stage I really do get a buzz from the affection that I feel comes over now of course now I'm going to I've said that people say oh fuck oh we're not going to do that you know but it is it is a very wonderful thing when you come on stage to feel that people want to see you.

31:58Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. And that is lovely. What sort of audience is it? Is it like a complete cross-section of different people? It is. They're totally mixed. But when they put something on Facebook, sometimes they put, oh, I can't stand her. She's vile. Or she's very Marmite, isn't she? Which means that some people really don't like it and some people do. I'm very Marmite too. You know, what isn't Marmite? Exactly. Look at the royal family. The royal family's Marmite. Some people love them, some people don't. That's, you're alive. When you're alive, that's it. You can't be totally loved and popular. But I always wonder, why are they on my page if they don't like me?

32:48Romesh Ranganathan:Well, do you think it's a good thing to, because one of the things you said, I think you said it to Sally Phillips in the documentary when you're doing the podcast. She's a class act. You said when you were younger that you felt like you were very important. And as you're getting older, actually I think what you said was something along the lines of you're only as important as the happiness you bring to the world and you are trying to accept that you're not as important as you used to think you are, right? How intelligent of me to say that. Yeah, really smart. that's quite lucid it was very lucid but the reason I bring it up is because you've had this massive jump in the nation's affection people really love you and then you look at the comments and you are social media it gives you a direct channel of what people think about you that is quite if you're trying to turn down the ego or whatever you want to call it that's quite a difficult thing to do when you're so in tune with what or connected to what people are saying about you.

33:55Romesh Ranganathan:Do you find that relationship difficult? Is that hard for you to balance? I don't think it's difficult because I'm not stupid. That's a fair point. I think you just accept the good bits, but acknowledge that you are not perfect. And that is true. I am not. But I think I'm a damn sight more perfect than Nigel diddles, you know. I mean, I want to make people happy. I want to tell the truth. I do what mummy taught me, which was do the right thing. She always said that. And she said, you know what the right thing is, do it. Well, why doesn't that orange fiend over the pond, why doesn't he do the right thing?

34:44Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. Well, he thinks he is doing the right thing. No, he doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't think he's being evil, does he? He thinks he's like, he believes that he's doing what his mummy told him, right? Well, I don't know what to say about him. I am lost for words where he's concerned. I do think he's evil, scary, evil. And if he decides one day to put his finger on the nuclear button, think what that could mean to the world. No, I want to be honest, do the right thing. And I take life seriously. I'm a serious person. I'm not just a sort of funny little wobbly thing. I mean, I care about the world.

35:31I want people to be happy. And when I see somebody's written something horrible about me, you know what I usually do is I go and look up their profile. and sometimes I think well I don't have to worry about them

35:50Romesh Ranganathan:that's very tempting to do that there's a quote in your book Miriam's Full English it's very clever title and the quote says I believe in fairness and fun free love and free speech and all of them are under threat do you do what makes you say that because of the change in the atmosphere, the public atmosphere in England, that people are being encouraged to blame immigrants, asylum seekers for all the wrongs that have happened. Nobody looks to themselves to think, now, why did that happen? There's a lack of compassion, of understanding. I remember the war. I was born during the war in 41 and I can remember that people were friendlier then, just less scared.

36:44It's never going to be like that again. I know that. But we've got to be kinder. We really have to be kinder to each other. And that's what I want to see. Not a kind of woolly acceptance of everything, but when you see someone's in distress, that it should call out in you a humanity. And I'm not politically wise. I make stupid statements quite often, actually. But I am human. And if somebody extends to me humanity, or shows me their vulnerability, I want to do something about it. I haven't lost my humanity. and I don't want people to lose theirs. And England has always been a little bit, you know, I reference that Punch cartoon, which I think was in something like 1884 when there are two guys sitting on a fence and somebody goes past and one says to the other, who's he?

37:54And he says, a stranger. And the other fellow says, he eave off a brick at him.

38:03and that apparently is a well-known attitude of some people. If you're a stranger, I hate you, I fear you, I want to kill you. Well, we've got to change that.

38:16Romesh Ranganathan:How come you, because as you said, you're in your 80s, 85 in six weeks' time. May the 18th, everybody. May the 18th, so if anybody wants to, you know. Send a card. Send a card or. Not a bomb, a card. No, not a bomb. Let's be clear. In case anybody was thinking it would be good, I'd just send a bomb. Miriam's not open. She's absolutely not open to that. But a lot of people, as they get older, move the other way. You know, become less tolerant and become, you know, I guess I'm oversimplifying, but swing to the right slightly, I guess. Why do you think that hasn't happened to you? I don't know. I was properly brought up.

38:52I've read books. I see people's pain. I mean, look, on television, in the news, every day we get buildings blown up, kids with their bones sticking through their flesh from starvation. How can we not be reached by the sadness of the world? So that's what I think keeps me caring. I don't want to be someone who says stuff all that. I'm, you know, like that chap who makes Hoover's Dyson.

39:30Romesh Ranganathan:Oh, yeah. Ugh.

39:35Romesh Ranganathan:The hand-dryers are quite good, though. If you were to... If we were looking at a full English... Are you a fan of full English, by the way? Yes, but I don't like too many fried things because it makes me burp. Right. And the other thing, too. Yes. But you're a big fan of a hash brown? Not anymore. No, I didn't think so. That's why I asked. Do you hate hash browns? I don't hate them. Why do you not like them anymore? Usually because the fat that they're cooked in is old. Right. Old fat. Okay. And I, you know, I'm old fat. I don't want to eat it. Yeah. But if they said we've got fresh fat, you'd be up for a hash brown?

40:18Romesh Ranganathan:Fresh fat, yes. Yeah, fresh fat. Okay, great. um so uh what what do you um when you go out and do your your tours and stuff like that is that now is that the thing that gives you the biggest buzz because i'm a stand i don't know if you're aware i'm a comedian but but i i uh i think the thing i mean it's probably different for me than it is for you but an audience when you say something that gets a whole room rocking i don't think there's much of a there's many other buzzes like that in life is that is that what kind of what your experience of that is yes i think to feel an audience with you and that that you're sharing in their pleasure that's the best yeah of all um now look let's talk about one of the things i wanted to do when i was talking talking to you is cover the multiplicity of your career you know don't don't just want to talk about cameo don't want to just talk about your documentary although it's great don't want to talk about your book which has a very clever title acting.

41:18Romesh Ranganathan:Now you're an incredibly accomplished actress, aren't you? Were you always destined to be a performer? Was that the only thing you wanted to do when you were growing up? Oh yes, yes. A natural show off. Yeah. You know, came out of the womb dancing sort of thing. Yeah. With lots of black hair already. I'm going to give you such a treat, I'm going to fart. Oh, thank you. And, you know. Yeah. There we are. Thank you so much. That is pretty special. Do you always know when they're going to come? I have a couple of seconds warning. Okay. And then will you always announce? I think it's only decent to announce it.

41:58Romesh Ranganathan:But will you announce in any context? Like if you're in a library, would you say? If people were near me, I might. Yeah. Have you thought about monetising it? No. Are you aware that some people sell them in a jar? Oh, that's ridiculous. It's true. Well, I'm not selling my farts and that's that. I give them freely and without rancour.

42:26Fair enough.

42:27Romesh Ranganathan:Well, thank you for the gift. So you always wanted to be an actress. Yes. Do you remember when you first made the... I mean, people like us that go into... I'm not saying that I'm on the same level as you, but people like us that get into entertainment, we are show-offs. There's a narcissism there, right? But why was it acting in particular that you wanted to? Well, mummy was somebody who wanted to act and decent Jewish girls didn't do that then. So she put all her longing and vicarious delight into my achievements. And I have a natural enjoyment of words. And as I said, English is the most wonderful language to speak.

43:15And I think when I was at school, we were well taught. We had terrific teachers. And I just found that I could make people laugh. And so I enjoyed it. And I think when you become someone else, when you go into a character, that is a fascinating experience. And it's something that takes rehearsal time and that you share it with the others on stage with you. So I don't really like one person shows. I've done one which has been very successful, but it's very lonely.

44:02Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. And I don't want to do anything. People keep sending me one-person shows as if the stage is too small for anyone else to be on it once I'm on it. But that's not what I want. I don't think that I can remember lines long enough now to do a show. But I loved when I became another person. I remember in Australia, I did a play called I'll Eat You Last, which was about an American woman agent called Sue Mengers, who was Barbara Streisand's agent at one time. and that really was my becoming completely another person and that pleased me. I thought I have let Miriam go. I'm not Miriam anymore and that was an achievement.

45:04Romesh Ranganathan:And is it theatre acting in particular that you love or is it TV and film? Is that up there with it? Oh no, it's theatre. What is it about theatre that you love? so much more than doing it on camera. I love you, the audience. That's what I love. I've tried to describe it, and I think I've called it, it's a golden thread. I'm holding one end, you're holding the other. Yeah. And it's utterly delicious. It's joyous. And you were part of Footlights, weren't you? That was not joyous.

45:45why was that not joyous it was a long time ago and i think it shows me in a very bad light that i bear so much rage and irritation when i recall it but women weren't allowed to join footlights in the days when i was there and the very brilliant young men who were the footlights were also mean-spirited and jealous of anybody who took their light. They were immensely competitive with each other. And I had a real run-in with the boys in the Footlights review that I was in, which was in 1962, which was called Double Take. Trevor Nunn directed it, who was a sweetie actually and um john cleese and graham chapman were particularly venomous

46:46Romesh Ranganathan:towards you yeah in what way what were they doing well the the thing they did that was that was the most hurtful was that they stopped speaking to me off stage so that i it's called being sent to coventry well it was do you know that expression yes i've heard And that's what they did. And it wounded me terribly. And I wasn't invited to the cast party. So I complained. And I went to the cast party. But I've never really forgiven them. I think John and Graham were really brilliant young men. But they lacked that thing, which is the human part of the gene. and their comedy was soulless ultimately.

47:42And I'm glad he's old and unfunny.

47:57Did you speak to them years on at all,

48:01Romesh Ranganathan:or was that the end? I remember when the king was 60 and he was Prince Charles then there was a performance lots of people came and did their turn and I was one of them who was asked to perform and John was the master of ceremonies and he decided to play it in a wheelchair probably because he thinks that 60 was very old then. and he pretended that he didn't know who I was or how to pronounce my name when it was his job to announce me. And he said, oh, no, wait a minute, Miriam Mugog. And he thought that was funny and I didn't. So did you say something to him? I said, oh, come on, John, you know my name.

48:57Romesh Ranganathan:Fair enough. That was all I said, and then I did whatever I had to do. But I thought that showed a nasty little man, a puny little man. Fair enough. I think you're very honest there. Now, let's talk a little bit about TV and film. Blackadder is my... It's gorgeous, isn't it? It's gorgeous. It's my favourite sitcom. It's unbelievable. Like my... Just so insanely funny. what was your experience like on that show gorgeous I loved it they were all heavenly I mean they were real grown up men they weren't and they were public school boys just like the other lot but they had heart and humour and sweetness I love them all I still love them I'm still you know I know Stephen I know Hugh Tim McEnany and Tony Tony Robinson Sir Yes.

49:55Sir. Whoa. No, I mean, I love him.

50:01Romesh Ranganathan:Was it, because it's obviously, it's very precisely written. Did you have to, were you sticking exactly to the lines? Was there like, was it loose? Well, it's a long time ago and I can't exactly remember what it was like rehearsing. It was just, it was joyous. It was fun. It was, it was happy. It was happiness. Yeah. It wasn't, it was stressful. because we had to get it right. And Rowan was really anxious. I mean, he was very stressed. But I loved it. And I still think it's one of the most brilliant things that's ever been on television anywhere. It's an incredible show. And I was in three of the series.

50:42I was the Spanish Infanta, which was great fun, with Jim Broadbent, who's a genius. And, oh, you should interview him. I mean, he's a bloody genius. And then I was Lady Whiteadder, which I think is almost my favourite of the parts that I had. And then I was Queen Victoria. Yes. Again, with Jim Broadbent playing Prince Albert.

51:09Romesh Ranganathan:No, it's incredible. It's incredible. So I've been very, very fortunate. Do people still talk to you about Blackadder? Yes, all the time. All the time. Especially blokes. And blokes think that I can remember the lines. You know, it's 40 years ago. Yeah. Do you ever watch it back now? How can you watch it back? Well, you can watch it. Is it on? It's not on television. You can watch it online, I'm pretty sure. No, I haven't. I don't. I don't watch comedy. I don't like it much. Except for... That must be why you didn't realise I was a comedian. Yes, I'm sure it was.

51:52no there are some good things I love that thing something country this country this country yeah that was brilliant it was really good really brilliant yeah and I liked some of the

52:08Romesh Ranganathan:of Ruth Jones's stuff with oh Gavin and Stacey yes yeah some of that not all of it but some of it no it's hard to be funny on television oh there's that Australian thing about the dog Colin from Accounts yes Colin from Accounts oh bliss absolute bliss yeah so you do know some comedy Harry Potter what was that like to work on I mean that is the thing about being in Harry Potter is that is an indelible mark on so many people's it is yes You know, memories, you know, that is you're now stuck in people's, you know, life experience, you know, because it's such a big part of people's lives. I know. I didn't realise that.

52:54Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. Because I when people said on Cameo, they say, you know, we're having a Harry Potter themed wedding. And I would say, well, I think it's time you let that go. I mean, you can't let go bits of your childhood. And I didn't realize that because it wasn't my childhood. I was in my 50s or 60s when I did that. And I think it's terrific. I think it's wonderful. I've let it go. You know, it wasn't the most important job for me. Was it not important for you at the time, even? It was important in terms of career. But it didn't impinge on me the way, you know, working with Donald Sinden, for example, when I did She Stoops to Conquer.

53:45By the way, if David Essex watches this, I'm really keen to see him again. I don't know how to get in touch with him, but he's so lovely. He's a gorgeous man. I love being with him.

54:00Romesh Ranganathan:Dave, should we just do a direct? I mean, you can just do it down the camera. Dave, it's Miriam. Do please get in touch with me. I'm nearly 85 and I don't want to die before seeing you again. So I love you and I think you're wonderful. Fingers crossed. Let's see what happens. I mean, it's out there. Have you said it publicly before that you're trying to get in touch with David Essex? I don't think I have, actually. There you go. Maybe it's going to happen. Oh, let's hope. Yeah, fingers crossed. So you've worked with enormous names, like, you know, legendary set of actors and people that you've worked with.

54:39Romesh Ranganathan:Who's your favourite? Do you have a favourite? Well, I do. I love Eileen Atkins, who is a dame. And she's probably most known from the Robert Altman film. Was it called Downton Abbey? No. Something, maybe it was called Down to Abbey. What was it, do we know? And Martin Clune's series, and she played the old lady in it. Gosford Park? Gosford Park, that's it. Great work. Yes, I knew it was the name of something. I just think she's the best actress that I've ever seen, and I love her, and I know her. Right. So that's such a thrill. She's quite old now, but I just love her. And I've known Dame Maggie, whom I loved also.

55:40Dame Judy, I know her a bit. And she's, you know, these are the people who enrich our lives.

55:48Romesh Ranganathan:You know that when you talk about the people that you think are really good actors and actresses, do you think that is, can that be learned? Or do some people just are you just given some sort of does the universe just give you some extra thing that puts you to that level? I think you're born with a gigantic talent. You can improve. Yeah, you could you could nourish and respect your gift. But if you don't have it to start with, you're not going to get it. It's there. And what Dame Eileen has that I will never have is economy. she can do it playing very small and I'm afraid I play very big that's not a bad thing though is it well it's not it's just what I've got yeah I give what I've got but she has a definition and a focus I just don't have that and have you tried to have you consciously thought about refining or honing or I mean obviously you're incredibly talented but how much thought do you think I'm incredibly talented of course you are it's undeniable

57:01Romesh Ranganathan:that's nice it is undeniable isn't it so how much thought have you given to to try and push it or do you ever think I wish I was better at this or I wish I could do this how much of that has your kind of thoughts? I think you do, of course, think about it a lot. Where I think that I am really brilliant is vocally. Right. I think that I can do things on a microphone and read words in a way that illuminates and defines them. And I'm particularly good with Mr. Dickens because he built big too, but he built true. His characters are based on truth. I don't think they're caricatures. But I do think about the things that I'm not so good at.

57:55And, of course, I was never trained. I didn't go to drama school. I thought I could manage without. Well, in the end, I managed without, but it took a very long time.

58:07Romesh Ranganathan:So do you wish you had gone in a way? I don't think I do because I would have perhaps lost something that is Miriam and I would have become a Rada-ish or Lambda-ish because you do. I'm not unhappy with the Miriam that sits here before you. Nor should you be. I mean, it's a great Miriam. congratulations on being the Miriam that you're being who would be the most surprising person that you've worked with that would surprise us the most the most surprising well I became incredibly fond of Bobby George who was a world darts player and there is a humanity in him and a comic touch that I just adore.

59:13Romesh Ranganathan:How did you cross paths with Bobby George? Because we did a documentary together traveling around India. Yeah. And I wouldn't have expected to be so fond of him because he's not educated. he's big and and he he cares about darts and i don't care about darts particularly there was a a humanity and he's a he was he's a tory well i mean i mean i would thought that's an ultimate immediate red flag for you yes normally speaking i'm very chary of tories But I've met I met John Major and I thought he was something about him. Yeah, just I respected him. And I have to respect these grand old Tories who tell it like it is, who say that Brexit was a terrible mistake.

1:00:12And it was. It really was. It has affected my life because I can't go and live in the house that I bought. The first house I ever bought in Italy. which is where Heather and I wanted to end our lives together. Now, I'm going to have to do something about that. I'm either going to have to become Dutch or Italian. You know, and I'm already Australian as well as English. So how many nationalities do you have to have before you can live in the house that's yours? So I don't get that. But no, Bobby George is a really fine person.

1:00:49Romesh Ranganathan:um what what is the you know you've done so many things you are in your pomp you know uh very well loved what what is the thing that you want people to associate you with the most is there something that you're proudest of that you want people to talk about with regards to you is it blackadder for example or is it something else well i it's funny because i'm being asked to provide my own obituary really yeah i mean i didn't want to say it like that well i mean you know well i'm nearer to death than you are probably let us hope you don't know my family history no i'm joking that was a no no i'm joking you look after yourself i will do no shagging um no i would like to think that people will remember the work i did on charles dickens because he is the great englishman He is the great English writer, I think, as great as Shakespeare.

1:01:44And I've done very good work on Dickens. And I'd like people to remember me that way. So kind of seriously, because I don't want to cheapen myself and just be, as I say, kind of farty and all that. All of which is true.

1:02:06Romesh Ranganathan:You can't. Sure. But that's a small aspect of. A small aspect. Of the Margulies oeuvre. Oeuvre, not oeuvre. Yeah, I'm, look, I'm me. Yeah. And that's what I'm offering you. Yeah, and that's great. It's a great offer. Is there anything that you'd still like to do that you haven't done? Have you got any ambitions left unfulfilled? I want to go to Africa, the real Africa, and see my elephants. because I've adopted three elephants and a rhino and I've never actually been to the real Africa. I've been to North Africa and South Africa, but I haven't been to, you know, Mali or Ghana or Ethiopia. Ethiopia's great.

1:02:54Romesh Ranganathan:Ghana's great. I'd love to go there. I mean, they're all great, but I mean, those are the two that I've been to. I know India, you see, a bit. I've been to Goa. I haven't been to Sri Lanka. Right. And I'm hoping to go. I really want to go there Okay But I mean That all seems Have you pitched those ideas To anybody About doing a documentary I've mentioned the Yes To a couple of people And I think I think it might happen I'm hoping next year Okay Well good luck with that Thank you We are playing a game We're going to play A little game with you now Miriam Oh fuck It's It's A game A game But it's not You just sit there There's no Okay you don't have to do anything apart from what you're doing now the game's called Misquoted yes I'm going to read out five things that you may or may not have said and you just have to tell me whether you think you said them or not

1:03:51Romesh Ranganathan:it's misquoted right does it feel have I explained the rules properly yes there's no prize and there's no forfeit either so really the stakes couldn't be lower that's good I like that all right low stakes Yikes. Here's your first one. Good luck. I'm a grand dame and a gooner. I don't think I would have said that. You didn't. Because the language is a little common. Oh. But I am a supporter of Arsenal. Yes, but you wouldn't say gooner. I wouldn't. No. I say I'm a supporter of Arsenal. I'm a supporter of Arsenal. Arsenal fan? Is that too common? Okay, fine. Yeah. I should have worn the scarf, but I wore...

1:04:33Romesh Ranganathan:You're a big Arsenal fan, aren't you? I am. Did you watch... I mean, what do you think about how we're doing? Well, I'm a bit disappointed. I think Arteta made a mistake in not using some of the, you know, the established team rather than the new ones. Right. But I understand why he did it. And I think one mustn't run away when the going gets tough. so you said false and you were correct well done you're one for one i wasn't really interested in men and i'm still not i'm not interested in their souls because very few men have souls when you find one that has it's worth it most of them are so trivial i did say that and i still think it but i don't think i should have said it Well, it's very honest of you.

1:05:28Romesh Ranganathan:Very few men have souls? I think that's harsh and a bit glib. And I don't like being glib, but I am sometimes. I think that men are sometimes afraid to be serious. Right. I'll amend it. Okay. But that's quite different to they don't have souls, isn't it? Yes.

1:06:02I don't know, that can be different.

1:06:03Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, no, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. Sorry, I didn't mean to antagonise you. OK, here's the next one. I'm in my Ozempic era. Well, I certainly didn't say that. No, you didn't say that. What's your Ozempic take? Nil. I've never taken Ozempic. Do you have an opinion on it? Yes, I don't think you should take medicines that are not designed for what is wrong with you. A Zempic is, I believe, something that diabetics take. Yes. Well, if you're not diabetic, you shouldn't take it. Right. That's your opinion. And I know how awful it is to be fat because I've been fat all my life. And it's amazing that you haven't mentioned that.

1:06:46And thank you for not mentioning it because it's embarrassing.

1:06:49Romesh Ranganathan:I wouldn't have, just so you know, I would have never brought it up and I certainly can't even know how to react when you said it. Well, I'm embarrassed by it. Why are you embarrassed by it? Because it's fucking horrible. Have great belly and, you know, be overweight. But people are conditioned to think it's horrible. It's not horrible, is it? Well, I think it is horrible because it's not healthy. And I shouldn't have been in, you know, I shouldn't be in a wheelchair and with a walker, but it's because I'm too fat and I didn't exercise, et cetera, et cetera. But I wouldn't take a Zempic. I think that is not good.

1:07:29Romesh Ranganathan:Okay. And I wouldn't have a tummy tuck or what they do, they do something inside you. Liposuction. And you mean gastric band. Oh, the gastric band, yeah. That's a good name for a musical outfit, isn't it, actually? Yes, gastric band. Gastric band. Yeah. Is there one? Is there one called gastric? Probably. I mean, I don't know for a fact, but I imagine there is. I think that would be quite a good title. Yeah. But you'd never have a gastric band? Never. Never. Never have operations you don't need. Okay. That's good advice. It is good advice. Yeah. Ben, what's your take on exemplary cancer? I totally agree.

1:08:07Romesh Ranganathan:I wouldn't agree with that. Ben's doubled. What do you mean doubled? He had a bit. He tried some. Are you on it now? No, not now. He wasn't. You took it? Yes, he did. You shouldn't, darling. Honestly. Sorry, Miriam. You mustn't do that. I won't. I tottered, and I could feel she was tottering too. Oh, yes, that is true. Oh, we've not even finished. That refers to Her Majesty Queen Camilla. Yes, you were cursing to Queen Camilla, and you almost lost your balance. Oh, it was so embarrassing. That really was a moment of horror because I wanted to show respect because I love that lady. I think she's terrific.

1:08:51And they're very happy together. And I wanted to curtsy. But you see, when you're 85 and you've got not very good legs and all the rest of it, and I thought I'd do it without the stick. Foolish. So I did what I thought was a curtsy, but it turned into a totter. And then I realised that I was getting to fall. And so she put out her hand and I clutched it and I pulled her towards me. And there was a moment when it could have been a sort of lesbian embrace, except that would have curdled her blood. And ultimately I regained my composure and I didn't pull her to the ground.

1:09:41Romesh Ranganathan:But it could have been a very ugly moment and a fantastic photo opportunity. Well, well dodged. Now, as you said, you're a massive fan of the royals. You've been quite outspoken about the crown. You're not a fan. I don't think that people's actual lives, who are still alive, should be written about and made into an entertainment. I found that very upsetting. And Amy Roberts, who is the designer of all the clothes, I love her. And I found it very difficult not to watch because I know how good she is. But I just can't accept it. It's cruel. Fair enough. Now, we've got one left. You've got all four rights so far.

1:10:32Romesh Ranganathan:But again, there's no stakes. Did you or did you not say this? It's for children. If your balls have dropped, then it's time to go on to other things. I think I did say that. You did say that. Do you know what you were talking about? I was talking about Harry Potter. You were. Adult Harry Potter fans. Yeah. If their balls have dropped, move on. Yes. And I explained to you why I feel like that. But I forget it's part of their childhood. Yeah. So I rescind it. I was wrong to say that. Miriam, you got all five correct. Well done. Great work. Well, I know who I am, obviously. Do you feel anything at all?

1:11:14Romesh Ranganathan:Oh, no, I've accidentally... There we go. Do you feel anything at all in your victory? Yes, I know myself. Yeah. And that, I think, is not a bad thing. It's healthy. That's good. Now, we've come to the end of the podcast. You've been marvellous. Have I? Yeah, absolutely marvellous. You think you've got enough material to... We've got more than enough. We've got loads. That's what they always say. I mean, I'm not in the edit, but we have definitely got more than enough. Now, we like to end the podcast on a big moment. So my question is quite a difficult one. Could you share the best piece of advice you've ever received or the best piece of advice you've ever given?

1:11:53Romesh Ranganathan:Or even a good one? Well, I think the best piece of advice is the one that I give. But, I mean, many people have given it. I know it in Latin, which is carpe diem, which means seize the day. And it means do it now. Don't wait. Have the courage to pursue what you want. Go after it now. OK, but you don't include that sort of shagging in that, do you? You see, that's what men do. very good example sorry I was just doing a callback to what you said to me right at the beginning but I'm a prick please give it up for Miriam Margulies everybody you're not a prick thank you so much for watching this episode of the Romesh Ranganathan show I've been told that some of you are watching this enjoying it, wallowing in it but you still haven't subscribed that's mad behaviour, you're going to miss episodes very silly So follow and subscribe to the Romesh Ranganathan Show on YouTube, Spotify, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts.

1:13:09Romesh Ranganathan:We drop new episodes every Monday and Thursday. On Monday, I'm here with amazing guests talking about their career, what they're up to, having a laugh with them. And then on Thursdays, I'm joined by my mum, widely regarded as the audience's favourite Ranganathan. And we answer your questions, your stories, and your family dilemmas. So I'll see you on Thursday when I'm back here with my mum, Shandy. Send your questions and stories to podcast at rangaby.com, voice note or text on 07731 623 355. We genuinely love hearing from you and there's a good chance you'll hear yourself on the show. See you next time.