Ricky Gervais: Roasting Celebrities At The Golden Globes & Giving Millions To Animal Charities

20:14Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, you're in control of it. And then also like... Sorry, you were in the middle of something. No, no, no, but to your point now, like when you do podcasts and stuff like that, I forget often, you know, I just think to myself, we're having a chat. But then somebody else is going to watch this. And then I might say something that you don't find offensive, which you won't. But then somebody else, you know, it's quite tricky. You can say anything you want, but not to everyone. Everyone's different. But I've got worse, right? I didn't care. Like when I started, I didn't care what I said, what I said in an interview, what I said on stage, what I said on podcast.

20:45I didn't care. I didn't care what I put on DVD. I just put, what's not? Tell the truth. Just do it. Just do it. Just do it. And now I think, oh, they're going to hate that. They're going to be taken the wrong way. Oh, they're going to think, you know, as you get older. Well, I think I've lost my nerve a bit. And I have to dig in and go, come on, don't worry about it. Who cares? I have to remind myself. And I don't know whether that's, I've got more to lose now. I don't think it is that. I'm more conscious of bad faith takes. And that's been accentuating the last few years. Like, I don't think I've done a press interview for like five years because I don't trust them.

21:22Because it's not about me. I only do things, I want to do it to talk about my film. And half the time, it's about them. Like, do you just try and psychoanalyse you and go, his body language said he was, you know, I don't want to do it. It's not interesting to me or anyone. so that's when I say I've been I'm more careful now I don't need it anymore I think I did it before because I needed it and I didn't care now I do care, I don't need it

21:53Romesh Ranganathan:but with regards to the crowd work when you watch yourself, my favourite comedian and other lessers cut the first back because they were there now But what I want is I want them to open a door to their world and go, have a look around. This is what I think about this. This is what I think about this. That's exactly right. And that takes a really, for a stand-up to craft that, it takes ages, right? That's right. But the problem is with social media is the appetite for it is infinite, right? You've got to be putting clips up all the time. Yeah. And so what's the easiest thing to do, you put up crowd work where you go, how long have you been together?

22:32Romesh Ranganathan:He doesn't know. You're not going to get a blowjob tonight or whatever the fuck it is. Do you know what I mean? and then that's all that's on social media now. What's weird about that is we all do a bit of that. Of course, yeah, yeah. But it's the least of it. Yeah, that's like the bread before the meal, right? I know, I know. And the thing is, because they know it's an ad lib, you get marked out on more than 10. So you say anything and you've got the mic, you say anything at all, it can be lame and they go, he said something. It's like, you know, improvised songs. It rhymed. It's a shit song.

23:07You know what I mean? It's like, it's not as good as the real thing, I think. I don't know. And you're right about I want a piece of them. I want to know that that comedian absolutely bled their heart out to me, even if they don't mean it, but it's got to seem like that. And it's got to be, I couldn't do that as good. With some comedians, they've got great jokes. There might be puns, there might be one-liners, but it's nearly as good to read them as them do it. And you don't want to be the middle man. You want to be absolute integral to that plot.

23:44Romesh Ranganathan:I mean, I think the best bits you can write, in my opinion, are the ones where you go, this wouldn't work from anyone else. That's right. Do you know what I mean? This bit is, and to be honest with you, I feel like I've very rarely achieved it. But the ideal, the absolute peak. I think you have. and I think you had that. I think you supported me. Yes, I did. And I watched you. I watched your whole set and I thought it was going to be massive. You strutted around like the coolest teacher in school. You know what I mean? That's a compliment. Yeah, yeah. And I was really engaged and I believed everything you said.

24:25I knew it was you. I knew you didn't have five writers. and I think you sort of have a bit of that because it's the way you want to portray yourself. I always wanted to be honest. I always wanted to be real. Do you know what I mean? I always wanted to know that I say it too much as well. I say, this is true because it's important. It's not funny if it's not true. It's funny because it's true in a way and I was there and this is what happened. So I've always wanted a bit of that and I've always wanted to be brave. you know I think I don't ever want to get any bigger or richer or you know win more awards how could you he's the best he is the fucking best I could just do I would just do this podcast first of all this is amazing clip that up stick it on Insta I'll collab yeah boom except ba-boom oh no what's rama said now right no but i do know i can be more honest i do know i can be more i can dig deeper and and that's hard that's hard because really hard because um people don't think and don't think now i have a real life so we've got we've got a sort of we've got to be low status as comics well we can't be above them we can say be same status but we can't be we can't be above them right and you've got to sort of retain that somehow but people know how much we earn so you can't and i don't want to pretend i don't want to go uh oh god i was on the bus the other day going to sign on and um you know what i mean you're a fucking liar you know so i tell the truth so i tell them a bad experience on a private jet or something so i'm still being honest and they get it they get whenever i talk about my work they laugh because they know oh he's doing that thing he does right and the other way i can keep low status is or same status is be worse off than they are in certain aspects and that's the things i talk about getting older fatter balder being stitched up being you know despised by someone you know and they're going oh he's he's he's got problems too.

26:46Now, I haven't got real world problems, but I think you're allowed to, I think you've got to be aware of adversity at least. You've got to acknowledge it. If someone shows you a holiday, the best holiday they've ever had, after about an hour, you go, yeah, we get it. It was brilliant. Now, if they say he got pissed again, got dragged off the plane, we were left in the, come on. Yeah. Why? You move forward in your chair. Come on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you've got to tell them about, about the you've got to tell them about some of the bad days you had you can win some things but in general you've got to tell them you know it's it's the same for it's the same for me

27:24Romesh Ranganathan:how do you feel about because you know one of the things you say in the special in the new special is this is you I mean you know you've sort of alluded to it trying to get more honest every time you go on stage and I think yeah this is your most honest show today yeah um one of the things about stand-up is like you've got like being interesting and saying what you really think you know and and opening yourself up against the fact that you have a duty to deliver a punch line every every however often right that's right those things conflict or can conflict can't they they can do you find do you find it's a bit of a battle because like you often sort of yes you often put out interesting ideas yes and you're doing this special but and they're going to listen you know when you're doing that you've got a little bit of you've got a short amount of time to do that before you've got to deliver a laugh right yeah it sort of swings around i sometimes think particularly at the beginning i go there's a a lot a long amount of time between finishing the setup and the punchline so you hone that a bit but sometimes you don't want to make it to one-linery because that sort of um it damages the integrity of the piece that it's a it's a confession or it's the truth or you want to get them along the world and and some people panic after 30 seconds and i used to some communities go you can't do 30 seconds 15 seconds now i was going for like a minute you know it's also relative to how big that laugh is because sometimes the the setup a little bit longer makes the punchline bigger yeah yeah you're feeling it Yeah, there's the anticipation, you know.

29:06And sometimes you realise that the set-up was fake, but they don't mind in retrospect. It's a sucker punch. Yeah, yeah. I do that thing, I go, well, no, the punchline was fake as well. I go, oh, they're annoyed. Also, they're annoyed when they don't get a joke. They go, you said that. I go, no, that's not the joke. The joke is this. And they go, oh, not funny then. They don't go, oh, sorry, didn't get it. No one ever apologises for not getting the joke.

29:31Romesh Ranganathan:No, and not getting the joke makes people really angry. If they don't find something you said funny... Well, they feel stupid. Yeah, it's like if somebody watches a drama thing and they don't like it, they just go, that's not for me, that. If they watch comedy they don't like, they go, I want you dead, I want everybody involved dead. Because they're angry. It angers me. You know what angers them? Is that other people do find it funny. So they're looking around going, why is that why am I not in the gang they question themselves and the point is no one does that with food no one goes you like that much salt I don't no one does that it's just it's just taste you can't take it personally I've got a present for you oh really it's um it's it's it's well I don't know what it is you've got to finish the sentence it's it's a toy for a cat oh I love that it's a cat turntable so it could be a little it can be a little DJ I mean it's not actually it's not connected to Spinderella but it's just sort of she can be Spinderella yeah Pickle can be Spinderella and it's got stuff look at this Run DOG fantastic public enemy logo with the dog in the target you know let's have a look yeah I mean it doesn't do that's what everything it does but you know it's got like little textures and stuff I'm really putting the pitch on this That's fantastic That is I mean I'm blown away that is so thoughtful Blown away genuinely Yeah it's lovely What do you get for Ricky Gervais we've nailed it Some of the mean summer It's easy isn't it That's lovely that I'm glad you like it Is this product placement Are you getting money for this He's just made 10 grand giving that to me.

31:26I got that. He got 10 grand. Ricky, continue with me. Can you just say you really love it? Yeah, I absolutely love this.

31:37Romesh Ranganathan:Thank you. No, no, that's a genuine... Lovely. That's a genuine thing. Which brings me on to your... I know you don't want to talk about it. Yeah, yeah. This is the clip. I feel going to be... Can you do it within 30 seconds? because on Instagram, sometimes the algorithm doesn't like it to. Well, look, one of the things that we've got in common, you're vegan now. Are you vegan? Yeah. So we've got that in common. Oh, great. Oh, I knew that. Yeah, I didn't know that. But talk me through this. And the reason I do is because I love animals. Yeah, of course. And you famously do. What's led you to this?

32:16Romesh Ranganathan:I mean, it's a massive donation. 1.9 million to animal tract. It's from the Armageddon tour. Yeah. And now you're giving 2.4 million, is that right? From mortality to... It's an incredible amount of money. I'm regretting it already. What if my career goes tits up? You can't ask for it back, can you? No, you can't. No, that hippo's wearing a fur coat now. Yeah, 100%. And a tiara. They're having such a great life. Yeah, yeah. Pandas are shagging for the first time ever. You're shagging? Yeah, I didn't have this money before, did I? Honestly, I cannot stop fucking. I'm in such a great mood. All it needed was a bit of a spruce up around there.

33:02Romesh Ranganathan:And I am so horny. I feel like I've got words now.

33:08Yes.

33:09Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. Well, I guess, obviously, you know, you've chosen the charities because you feel strongly about them. Did you, what was the origin? Was the origin like because of your success, Do you feel like you had a moral obligation to do something? I've always done it. It is a moral obligation, isn't it, to be kind to animals and everything else. But I didn't have that much money to give away growing up. Before, yeah. But, you know, all you could do is be kind to animals and help them and you donate little bits, and everyone does that, and that's great. And when you get more money, I think you should give more money.

33:46You know what I mean? There's only a certain amount you need. and the specific reason that I did this now was because I think I did it from humanity actually I think the promoter came up with the idea that they were going to give away they were going to sell platinum tickets which was to stop touts so touts buy the best 100 seats they buy them for 30 quid sell them for 500 so the idea was to not have those for sale except sell them for 400. So it undermined the touts because they would buy some. It undermined the touts, right? They couldn't buy those tickets. It wasn't worth their risk. A tout's not going to buy 400.

34:30No, it's too much of an outlay.

34:32Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, exactly. So you've got about 100 tickets or whatever it is, a gig, that have been sold for hundreds of pounds. And I thought, well, I can do that to stop the touts. But I can't pocket it. because those people have still paid more to be there. So I said, well, I'll give it to charity. Give the extra cash to charity. So I'm clean. They've paid more, but they would have anyway, because they're only buying platinum tickets if they couldn't have, you know, whether they weren't in time. Now I've seen that some people buy them first. They go, no, I want that front row seat, and I want it to go to charity.

35:11Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, you know that you're doing an amazing thing and having a great night out. Yeah. so that's why I'll probably keep it next time no they think next time they go oh he's giving it to the charity I go didn't say I was didn't say I was he did it the last four times didn't say I was doing it the fifth time did I so how long have you been vegan for I think 2020 right and how are you finding that I find it pretty easy sometimes you're you're you know you're on a plane and even the bread's got milk in it but that's rare you have to you do have to plan ahead or i take i take like protein bars with me just in case but honestly um if you're in control i think it's easy and uh i did it quite gradually as i went veggie and then i cut out eggs when i found out about eggs then i cut out cheese which probably was my favourite food.

36:12Romesh Ranganathan:Cheese is, I mean, I've talked about this endlessly. Yeah. They've not, I don't believe they've managed to replicate it. They're getting better. They're really getting better. I only like, the only time I actually, I wasn't a connoisseur, right? But I liked extra strong cheddar, right? On a bread roll or sprinkled on beans on toast. They've got that. There's a thing called, is it Cathedral? Oh, yeah, the vegan Cathedral City. It's great. once it's done that's the lot of things once it's cooked or in something for example like vegan hot dogs you can't tell the difference you know it's a hot dog but then it's like the mustard and the ketchup and the bread and the onions and you're going there's no anus in this they can't they can't really tell the difference they're so good now that I have a really good plant burger now.

37:09And I go, sorry, can I just check? I know, I know. It's great. You have to double check. It's great. I don't even like vegan things being too realistic. It makes me a bit squeamish. But they're so good. They've got chicken fillets now. I go, how is that not chicken? But it's great because it's guilt-free. It's probably better for you. You have got to be a bit careful. you're not out of the woods health wise look at me I'm still fat you look great just clip that up we don't need anything out just get this bit

37:54shut up shut up shut up

38:04I can do a better one. Oh, fuck off. Do you need Ron to do another one to give you something? You could do one. You look great. Yeah, just throw it away. Look, man, you look great.

38:20I don't know what that was. I don't know what that was. Let me do it. I'm just trying shit. Okay, okay, okay. Give him a bit more.

38:27Romesh Ranganathan:Ricky, you look great. Cunt. Weird one. Just in case. Just in case.

38:37Can you use it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all going in. Shit, really? Fuck.

38:45Oh, bollocks. I underestimated you. What the fuck were we talking about? Oh yeah, V. So there's this amazing documentary. I think it's called Live to 100 Blue Zones. And this guy has researched, basically his whole life has been researching. There's certain areas around the world, he's called Blue Zones, right, where people live to like 95, 100, right? And he looked at what they had in common. And it was usually a vegan diet, right, or an organic diet, right, because a bad vegan diet is worse than a vegan diet.

39:24Romesh Ranganathan:a non-vegan organic because of all the process yeah you can still you know if you live if you live on nothing but plant burgers you're probably in trouble you know and all these things i mean they've all got a thousand ingredients exactly yeah and uh they've taken out all the the goodness but you know you're not eating meat but uh so they're usually vegan they usually live on sort of hilly terrain it's called steepness and so the more hills and stairs you have to go up every day that just that's really good for you they don't go to the gym these people they haven't got gyms right but they they grow their own food they cook their own thing they're doing something all the time right um things like uh they they drink they drink you know they they sit out and they drink wine but they dance for two hours as well um they walk to work they they as a sense of community loneliness apparently is as big a killer as smoking yeah I've read this so they look after their grandparents come and live with them out of the fucking question listen I'll eat nuts but she's not she's not living it

40:35it's too much lucky they all died they were all gone by the time I was 14 my grandparents I only met one she lives on cheese and crackers. That's where I got it from. It's always in a house coat, my man. Really? Yeah. So cream crackers, cheese, snuff. I grew up thinking, what's the fuck snuff? She used to take a bit of snuff like that. Just two little tobacco, snorting tobacco, my man. And she liked to gin as well. Really? Yeah. Just a big bag of meat off her head.

41:14Romesh Ranganathan:Well, my dad died about 12 years ago. He was like brought up a Hindu. So part of the Hindu ceremony after they pass away is after a few days, you have their photo up and you light some candles. And in front of the photo, you put stuff that they liked, that they really liked during their life. My dad's thing that he had in front of his photo was a big bowl of... They choose it themselves before they die. Well, my mum... You choose it. Yeah, so this my mum decided for him. A big bowl of deep fried mutton curry, right? A bottle of Jack Daniels and 20 Benson. That's great though, isn't it? And then they go, it was a heart attack.

42:05That's great.

42:09Romesh Ranganathan:how did this happen I love that yeah that's great well though the priest was like uh so one of the things they do is on the day of the funeral this Hindu priest comes from my mum's house and he goes and my mum was like we've got to give the priest some stuff and it's supposed to be for your dad you know it's supposed to be for his journey to to the afterlife and it was like and And I said, what do we need to get? And it's like some food for the journey, some slippers, an umbrella. And I was like, there's a priest just giving us his fucking shopping list. I mean, this is... It's so like a lot. What's the umbrella for?

42:46Is that a traditional thing? Sorry. No, it's not a traditional.

42:48Romesh Ranganathan:I don't know what it was. It was like, it was just like little bits and pieces of them. Touch, touch. So I can see his little tattoo. This is too intimate for me. What's that a tattoo of? This. No, no, on your... Oh, this. With your ankle bracelet. What's that? Is that... Look how trendy he is. What do you mean? Well, look at me. No, you look trendy. You're really trendy. Yeah. Shut up. Do you know what this is? I don't really... So I did a show called The Ranganation, and one of The Ranganation, it was members of the public that were sort of regulars on the show. Right. One of them got a tattoo of me on his leg, so I thought it would be funny just to get a tattoo of him on my leg, and that's what that is.

43:30Romesh Ranganathan:What, just some random bloke? The guy that was on the show, yeah. I just got his tattoo. What is it? It's just his face. That's pretty cool, actually. Do you think so? Yeah. I've got to say yes now, haven't I? You don't say to anyone, that's a shit tattoo. Of course you can. No, because it's terrible. They've fucked it, haven't they? No, but I think shit tattoos are fine. I think it's funny. What if someone shows you their new tattoo and you go, that's spout wrong? No, I wouldn't say. I've just seen it with another bloke.

44:05Romesh Ranganathan:am i slumped i got i got a terrible slump me too and every time we do one of these i look at my posture and i think it's dreadful yeah i did i did a thing once um one of those things where it's filmed and you're on every um sort of uh morning news program across america they syndicate exactly yes i do know okay now we're going to shahoga now we're going to and i I did about 15 of these across the morning in America, right? And at one point, just to slow down, the news said, we can't see you. I was so low in my chair that I was just like that, and I was going, yeah, it's that. And I went, we can't see you.

44:48How fucking slumped is that? I don't usually wear jeans. No, I get it. I wear them live. What made you wear them today? Because I thought tracksuit bottoms were just too disrespectful. Right. To who? Well, you know. To the occasion. Yeah. Yeah, I get it. You're a national treasure. I wouldn't turn up in shorts to David Attenborough, would I? No.

45:11Romesh Ranganathan:He'd fuck him off so much. He's got a real temper about that sort of thing. I'm absolutely fucked off. He's worn shorts. I'm fucking furious. And they're way too short. You've popped out, Rick. Yeah. There's a suggestion of cock and balls. Oh, God. Yeah. I've put you in the same category as David Attenborough. Yeah. Thank you so much. But you went straight to National Treasure. He did that. No. He did that 60 years of really hard work becoming a global megastar. You popped up and they went, everyone loves him. Let's just, let's put him on everything. You know what I mean? Yeah. Well done. Yeah, thanks.

45:58Romesh Ranganathan:Ricky Gervais has said well done to me. Huh? Fucking clip that up, mate. He's congratulating me on my career. No, I am. Fucking get it out there. It's great. Zootopia 2 has come home to Disney+. Let's go! Get ready for a new case. We're the greatest partners of all time. New friends. Gary the Snake. And your last name? The Snake. Dream Team. New habitats. Zootopia has a secret reptile population. You can watch the record-breaking phenomenon at home. Zootopia 2, now available on Disney Plus Rated PG. And right now you can get Disney Plus and Hulu for just$4.99 a month for three months with a special limited time offer ends March 24th.

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47:19Romesh Ranganathan:Microsoft 365 Copilot is your AI assistant for work. Built into Word, Excel, PowerPoint, and other Microsoft 365 apps you use. Helping you quickly write, analyze, create, and summarize. So you can cut through clutter and clear a path to your best work. Learn more at Microsoft.com slash M365 Copilot. Now, obviously, you're coming on my podcast, but the truth is, you're like you're like the grandmaster flash of uh of podcasting right because you were doing it the podfather yeah um yeah i uh and i definitely didn't invent it that's uh but i was i was close and i was probably the first sort of high profile person to start a podcast and it's connected in a way like people still talk about the stuff you said on that now i know when it still pops up in the charts because it's just i think we you know did so many and uh it's just there and it's i think i think it's because it's so finite you know most podcasts just go on forever and that this was like a few years and i don't know how many 50 um but i think it's you know it's done so it's safe to you know re-watch the box set i i suppose you know but um uh it's it's it's nothing special i suppose that they hadn't seen anything like it you know just i mean everyone's got one now it's it's no different it's like i know but it is different because i i think that you know the ones that are coming out now i think that there was a point after which people were doing podcasts because the right thing to do was to have a podcast right whereas when you when you guys did it it that could have gone for nothing do you know what i mean The reason, the very first, first of all, I heard of it, I was on XFM and they were talking about their streaming U2's concert as a podcast.

49:21And I thought, podcast, what's that? Well, you just put it on the internet. Okay, great. And I thought, that's good. So it's on the internet. So it's global, which excited me. You can, this was live. I thought, well, I said, could you do it? Could you pre-record it and put it out? I went, yeah, you can do anything. And I kept having to leave the show to go and film something, like a sitcom or a movie or something, and then going, oh, we're back in the... So I thought, well, I can just do these when I want, put them out. We can say what you want. Oh, my God, that was the most exciting thing. No restrictions.

49:55You can say what you want. So I thought, well, this is a no-brainer. And I approached The Guardian because I thought I need someone to sort of talk about it, to advertise, to do it. And we did a few for them. And it broke the record. Of course it did. There was only about nine doing it, you know. We did that. And we were getting like quarter of a million per episode, which is amazing, 2005, what it was. And Carl wanted to leave his job. And I said, let's charge a quid. Then we can all... And immediately it was like 20 ,000.

50:43But we found out that it was always 20 ,000, however many we did. So that's when we started doing, well, let's do another series. So every time you did one that, and then it started to grow gradually. So I think people found out that it's about, it's about sort of um you know having that library if you do a one-off podcast fine but if you do if they know every monday their favorite idiots are gonna drop an hour and that's what that's

51:17Romesh Ranganathan:what's still the case i assume isn't it yeah it's a bit like you become part of somebody's routine right so they know on like a monday or a thursday or whatever when i go on my way to work i can stick this on and you know that's always going to be there right yeah yeah that that that is true and um i mean i don't listen to many but i um and and even that's been reduced now because now the podcast is the five clips on instagram that get that get millions you know but i i um it has it has all changed and coming back to our initial thing is why you know why do we do it well i don't do it much now i i don't do the american chat shows like i used to because one i don't go to america as much and two there's they're getting one or two million you know what i mean it's like you have to i don't want to do 10 people get sick of you and it's like um this this is this is better it's all about social media anyway now you know i mean that's that's our that's our shop window Yeah, and it feels like it feels exciting.

52:27Romesh Ranganathan:And it's sort of a double edged sword because on the one hand, you take out gatekeepers, you know, in terms of like anybody wants to put something out there can. Yeah. But then the downside of that is it's like a draw. Yeah, there's no quality control. Well, no, but, you know, it's like anything else. You know, the cream floats to the top. You know, there might be a thousand podcasts, but most people listen to ten of them. It's still, you know, it's like anything else. You know, there's a million posters up, but you're only going to go see one band. And I think that's fine. And also, what's great is it is on your terms.

53:12You know, I know loads of people whose spare room now is as good and profitable as a studio. I know. It's amazing. I know. It's great. But I think when I first started, I used to make an advert to put in The Guardian or Time Out. You know what I mean? And now you just go, buy me tickets. Sold out.

53:34Romesh Ranganathan:It's mad. It's just mad that you can talk to millions of people via a phone. I know. That's mind-blowing. It's also slightly frightening, isn't it? It is, and the people who've grown up with it, I don't know what they think the world is now. The frightening thing about social media and having everything on your phone is that every one of us sees the world differently. Your world is very different to mine. How you see it, and that's on purpose. They do it on purpose. Yeah, they shovel you what they think you want, right? I've spoken to people like, you know, really close friends. I go oh so and so he's a hero and he goes no he's a villain and I go what?

54:14he goes look I go I haven't got that he's done what? no no look it's a completely different perception of the world and they feed you that

54:23Romesh Ranganathan:you have to be I think because you can have a healthy relationship with it but I think you have to curate it to go I'm going to deliberately look for people that hold opposing not exclusively but I need to have a balance so that I actually know what's going I'm not going to get surprised by So, you know... The good bit of advice is don't scroll search. So if you're interested in someone, if you want to look someone up, if you want to read someone, search. Don't just scroll because that evil little machine is doing it. Oh, he likes this. Oh, he likes this. Show him that. Show him that. It's all on purpose.

55:02It's all a game to get clicks, you know. So, but I use it as a tool. I do stay in touch with fans. That's nice. I answer a few, but you can't speak to everyone. You know, it's sort of quite token. I'm aware of everything, but I use it. I used to use it as a research tool, probably a bit too much. You know, before Twitter, I'd have to actually go to jail and meet some of these people I'm talking to. and there's the risk of getting injured. Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. You've seen Silence of the Lambs. You get, come and come. Cracking reference. So now I do it from the section of my Hampstead mansion.

55:49I'm talking to a lunatic, Jane. I'm going to use this in my next show. He's absolutely bonkers. So, yeah, I use it less as a... because what you do is you find that you sort of gravitate to the lowest common denominator. You find the thickest, most moronic. It's too easy. Yeah, I know what you mean. I've done a few. I did one about, I hope you get raped by Satan. It's like too easy. He's done all the work for you there. All I have to do is bend over and act it out. But I still, I do use it. I do it for, obviously it's great for charity. You can, you know, I've said this before, but it might have taken someone three years to get 100 ,000 signatures to get something.

56:41I can do it in a minute now if I've got the fans and they want to do it. So it's great for that. It's great for selling tickets. Again, you're preaching to converted. You're just telling them when it is.

56:51Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. You can't change anyone's mind. You've got to convert enough to make that work, right? You've got to do all the work first, really. You've got to have done all that stuff that got you 20 million or whatever, you know. Like I'm doing it now. Can I talk about this Dutch Barn? Can I talk about that now? Yeah, talk about it. Listen, we promoted the turntable. Yeah, exactly, yeah. So as you know, I'm co-owner of a company, a vodka company called Dutch Barn, right? And they got me involved because they wanted me to make it famous, you know. And so first of all, I sort of did, you know, adverts.

57:32It was fun. It was just great fun. You know, they were an ethical company. I saw that. It's great. It's a great vodka. But the fun for me was, oh, what a lovely challenge that is. Can I make this a global brand? I did some adverts. I did some truth. And then I found out that the real deal was getting people to subscribe, getting fans, getting loyal fans of the thing. and you know you can you can do the scattergun approach you can spend millions you can try and get you know 50 million people to see your adverts that but it doesn't come back whereas if you get a few loyal people who like that thing it's again it's boutique again that becomes it's the same as being a a cult now everything i've done uh seemed like a cult you know like the office was a cult comedy everything i've done my stand-up should be very you know that shouldn't be mainstream at all um but what you find is you can you can be you know family friendly and huge in one country but you won't sell a ticket outside because those people it's like doing a corporate for your country right so what you find is that if you're a cult in lots of countries that's 10 times bigger than being the biggest thing in one country.

58:51So I think it's all about that. It's all about doing it for you and like-minded people. And there's 8 billion people on the planet. You only have to get a small percentage of them to be massive. But it still seems like you're not mainstream in a way if you do it like that. But when you're doing...

59:13Romesh Ranganathan:I want to ask you more about the Dutch Barn adverts, actually, because there's been a big thing about the billboards and stuff. But when you're doing, say, for example, your stand-up, because you are so big, do you ever think about, you've got a broad, do you feel like you've got a broad church to appeal to? Or do you feel that all of those people are on board? I still do it. I still do it. Like it's for just those people in the room who've come to see me. and one of their favourite comics. It's why I don't do... If I can do ten arenas, I do two. Because those last eight, you're begging people to come.

59:54They brought someone who isn't a fan. They're on their phones. They could get a ticket at half price because the tout had been stung because you put more tickets on sale. I want everyone in that room to know no one else got a ticket. Yeah, they're buzzing to be there. They're buzzing to be there. because, again, I can play the world, so I don't have to do 30 Nottingham arenas. I can do one there, and then I can do arenas in all over Europe and America, you know? And I still sort of undersell it because I don't like being away from home much. So I get that. You know what I mean? So I just think you've always got to do it for the few because those few are everywhere in the world.

1:00:39Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I've seen some people that go, I'm making hay when the sun shines. I go, well, you're doing it early. I think you've got a big bag of goodwill and it's a huge world. You don't need to blow it all in one go. You don't need to. It's like a boy band tune. A boy band tune is made for you to go, oh, I love that. Of course you love it, because you've heard it a thousand times before, right? It's C, A minor, F, G. You love it immediately. You'll hate that in a week. It's done. It's white bread. It's done. Radiohead. I go, fuck me, what have they done? What have they done? I listen to it.

1:01:21This is the best fucking song I've ever, and I'm never sick of it. Do you know what I mean? It's that thing you've, it's handmade. handmade.

1:01:31Romesh Ranganathan:I know exactly what you mean. It's handmade. That's what you're trying to create, right? That's what you're trying to create. It's real. Yeah, you put everything into it. It's the real deal. And, you know, it's like when you start out, you see someone absolutely crushing it. They're, you know, they're sweating, they're doing props, they're doing gags, they're doing everything, they're ending with a song. And you think, fuck, I can't, the audience can't laugh anymore but as soon as you go on you turn it down the audience goes ah this is the this is the real thing you know i don't just mean no but i know i don't even mean me but i mean you know the difference when when you see a really good comic and he's confident and he's or she has done their bit they've they've honed it they it's great but it's not in your face immediately no and they're not trying they're not trying to he doesn't feel like they know they're gonna get there yeah those people that go you go oh god no one's laughed for three minutes and then it then it just comes slowly they're just they're they're they're a bigger train it takes a little bit longer to get going maybe yeah but it's it's it's like um it's about sort of about being really good great company isn't it it's sort of like i want to i want to listen to to what you what you've got to say also it's about trust as well which we don't have to do now they already trust us so we can walk out and he can start going.

1:02:57But in the early days, you've got to win their trust. I know, you've got to have some opening line or whatever. You have, yeah. And I think that's why most comics starting out mention their physicality or their background. Yeah.

1:03:10Romesh Ranganathan:There's a big thing of like, you know, it's like a hacky thing of like going, I know what you're thinking, blah, blah, blah, let himself go. Do you know what I mean? There's a reason for that because they probably are thinking it and you want to get out of the way. You don't want to go, he hasn't mentioned his funny hair. Yeah. You know, I saw, oh my God, Harry Hill in about 1992, 1993. He was the funniest thing I'd ever seen. I remember seeing him. He came out once and he just had a mousetrap on his nose and he did about ten jokes. And everyone's going, he's got a fucking mousetrap on his nose.

1:03:42And after about ten minutes he went, he said, do you ever get that feeling you'll do anything for a piece of cheese? And the fucking laugh.

1:03:51Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember watching Joe Wilkinson. This is a charity. Oh, he's great as well. At a charity gig, right? We were doing a charity gig, and he was in a pilot's uniform, right? So he got changed into it backstage, right? He puts the pilot's uniform on. He goes on and he does his whole set. No reference, like, just does his set as normal in a full pilot's uniform. And at the end of it, he goes, he goes, anyway, that's been me. Thank you so much. And he goes, just a quick bit of advice before I go. Don't use the dry cleaners by the airport.

1:04:26yeah it's great i haven't got the confidence to do that i haven't got there's loads of things i think of like starting the show yeah and i just go out there and just i know run it'd be dance a little bit and do a song yeah and i go i can't have them thinking for 10 seconds that i mean this i can't do it uh you know she gets too hungry for dinner and then what's your name he's gone mad yeah or just come out dancing to like oh yeah wouldn't it be great just to really

1:04:54Romesh Ranganathan:freak them out and do some... But it's the duration of them freaking out that makes you shit yourself, doesn't it? Yeah, well, yeah, that's the thing, isn't it? That you don't want to think... Because also you go, no, I was only joking. They go, don't believe you. I was! No, I really was! Yeah, I did really shit myself. We could smell it. I did shit myself, but it was part of the act. So the Dutch Bomb ads, the billboards that have been, like, massive in the... Like, I mean, in terms of making them famous, it went crazy. It all happened in like two weeks. And was that all part of a... In fact, we went from 16 ,000 subscribers to like 120 ,000 subscribers in that sort of two or three week period.

1:05:39Romesh Ranganathan:It was off the charts. Did you know... I mean, you can't have known that was going to happen. No. But you knew that you were going to kick up, you were going to do something like that. Well, everything you do is like, I wonder if this tweet will change the world. You know what I mean? No one goes, I'm going to put that out there, no one's going to care about that. They go, what do I do? And you go, nah, shit. Nah, I don't like it. Okay, delete. You know, and your hope is, everyone thinks that they want to connect. They want to make a connection with the world. They want to go, oh, I made a little difference for 30 seconds.

1:06:13You know, so I wanted them to work, but working is people being aware of the vodka. You know, people go, it's not a great joke. And I go, well, but that's not the point.

1:06:24Romesh Ranganathan:It sort of doesn't matter. No, it's marketing. The fact that it was being discussed at all, you know, was like. That's what happened. When you make, as any artist in any field, when you make real news, that's a big difference. You can, you know, you can be online and being discussed. But the example, the podcast, when we first did the podcast, that was on news at 10 so the podcast I knew a new thing called a podcast I was thinking okay that's that's pretty big like the Golden Globes the Golden Globes made real news and it's scary the first time it's really horrible you don't want to be real news because usually real news is like you did something really really bad like the first Golden Globes in America it was like I'd murdered someone it was fucking mental it was like every time I looked like oh fuck me Jesus Christ it was everywhere it was just everywhere and you just want it to calm down you want it to go away you don't want to trend because you go why am I trending why am I done it's weird isn't it it's a good thing it's a good thing you want to be talked or you want profile or whatever I guess let's say you know you want to be you want people to come and see you on tour so you want a bit but then you don't want you don't want that you don't want things to get in the way it's like the authorities discovering you or something like that do you know what I mean yeah And people say things like, well, you've kicked up some controversy.

1:07:51I go, well, you're making it worse and everything's controversial. If you don't agree with me, it's controversial. It's like it gets in the way. And some people think, oh, he wanted that. Actually, I didn't. I'd just rather everyone watch my show and go, oh, watch the next one. That would be perfect for me. That's the ultimate outcome, right? Yeah, and we're coming to you like, great, right? But you do have to do a bit of a deal. You do have to pop up now and again. and I try and I just try and make it just honest like I'm here to promote a thing you know or have a chat or anything I'm I don't do stunts I don't I don't like them um but this was the this was the um the difference I suppose it was a bit of a stunt these billboards because um we knew some of them wouldn't be allowed and then we thought well it doesn't matter because we I can just say I have an idea for this as the tube and a million people see it on the tube I know but a hundred million people see it online so it was the best of both worlds we weren't we weren't putting it up on the tube and actually annoying real people or breaking the rules I was going wouldn't this be funny if this was put up and it sort of it was a revelation yeah

1:09:06Romesh Ranganathan:because for a while I looked at it and I thought I wonder if there ever was a plan to do billboards because like the truth is well there was and there's some of them we did do. No, I saw one. I saw one the other day. It was get a million pounds. Do you know the word? Oh, it was win a million pounds. Yeah. Right? There's no competition, just a bit of advice. That's right.

1:09:28So, like, it's real, but, like, I think you're right. And the other one that went up was, it was a watered down version of don't forget your stab vest. It was hold on to your phone. Right, right, right. Hold on to your phone. So that one got on. And then there was another one I did. Oh, we got to do buses. So it's me on a bus. And the tagline is, the only time you'll see Ricky on a bus. It's good shit. So what I want to do is put a bit of me into it. Yeah. It's not just going, this is, you know, made from British apples, so it tastes great. It's something, it's like, because again, you're building a community.

1:10:08Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not going, drink this, it's vodka. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's vodka, it's 40%. Yeah.

1:10:12Romesh Ranganathan:There's very little that you can say to distinguish, right? Yeah, yeah. You try everything. Yeah. You know, we do think it is better. Yeah. You know, but at the end of the day, it's vodka. Yeah, we get it, mate. Yeah. What else have you got? Well, we've got fun. We've got fun. That's what we've got. It's the brand thing, isn't it? It's the brand. When I was trying to be a – I was successfully a failed pop star. I made that. I was definitely a failed pop star. so when I was trying to be a pop star I remember the A &R man saying to me it's not just about music it's that people want to be seen carrying that record in the bag with the record's name on the bag they want to show what they bought I remember them talking about there was a guy called Richard Klederman he used to do and he was a French guy who just sort of played cover versions on the piano and it was platinum And they said, well, our marketing, we aimed at people who only buy one album a year.

1:11:14We made sure this was it. And they had things like, and we discovered that mums, housewives, nans, they don't go into cool record shops. They go into WH Smiths. So WH Smiths was like 50%. So all the things that went to charge was aimed at people who would go to W.H. Smith's, but not really caught, not rough trade or something. So it was all marketed to, the product was the same, but they just thought, where do we put this?

1:11:47Romesh Ranganathan:Where do we put this? It's amazing. They did market research on Richard Clayton, and they showed people a picture of him in a jumper and in a tuxedo, and they said it should be a tuxedo, because they thought it was real classical music. So funny, isn't it? It's amazing. It's mad, isn't it? Isn't it? Do you remember that? You don't remember, you're too young. How old are you? 47. I was too young. In the, I think, late 70s, early 80s, there was a thing called a splat mat. It was a towel you put under your kid's high chair. And there was this guy talking about the marketing for it, right? And it was a towel with the word splat mat embroidered, right?

1:12:25Now, a towel was a pound and splat mat was 10 pounds. But if you put a towel down, you're a bad parent. put the splat mat down because your kid's worth it. It's a splat mat. It's so clever. It's just a marketing. Marketing is like the art form of the 20th century, I'd say.

1:12:45Romesh Ranganathan:Splat mat. Yeah. I need to bring that back. Now, you mentioned the Golden Globes. You've actually got a question from my mum for you. Oh, great. She's recorded it. Oh, great. Here we go. Let's see. Hi, Ricky. I am Romisha's mum. I love your work and really enjoy your hosting those awards. I love how rude you are to the celebs. Did you ever meet any of them, any of the celebrities, after the show? And what did you say? Thank you and happy Christmas. Happy Christmas. Thank you. you know what I didn't meet many of them after yeah you talk about this a bit in the special I do talk about this a bit in the special there's a couple who I found out after didn't appreciate it much I did a joke I found out that Tom Hanks was hosting with Tim Allen I did this joke, it's a great joke but it is a bit cruel but I'd justify, I'd explain it to you so I go out there and I go, the next two presenters the first was in Forrest Gump, Philadelphia this is films right he has made over 5 billion at the box office he's been awarded so and so the second Tim Allen right

1:14:27now okay I tried to I met him afterwards and he went yeah I said listen I said the thing is Tim I said who would win standing next to Tom Hanks yeah there was there clearly was pathos in that right but who who would who couldn't I do that with walking out with Tom Hanks you know and you know and it was a bit of a you know his TV sitcom or whatever but it wasn't that bad but I get it you know it is embarrassing to be the butt of the joke even against Tom Hanks you know I didn't have to do the joke I can't go I had to do the joke by law but I thought well you're you're a comic can you yeah so I didn't I don't like I don't like hurting people's feelings and I really try and you know unless they've done something wrong right I don't think I have got the right to just embarrass them for the sake of a joke right i think it's i want it to be there with their blessing sometimes i've called people up and said i'm going to do this right and they've gone fine you know um but i don't want to you know i yeah you know because the thing that i thought when

1:15:41Romesh Ranganathan:like even from when you first started doing the golden globes was like you know for example me me and rob beckett hosted the baftas but like you are getting a baftas version of rob and romesh right like like there there is a pressure to yeah there's certain things you can't say certain jokes that got vetoed and yeah all of that and so it was you know it was rob and romesh if they you know suitably sanitized for the baftas right yeah but when you did the golden globes that's ricky gervais hosting the golden globes right and and there's no you've not you've not you've not sanded off anything there but i think one of the i had to you you're right you're right like yeah it hadn't been done quite like that before but it was still legal right by network rules at 5 30 so there couldn't have been anything that bad right okay you know it i think the cheekiness was going after these people that were sitting there that hadn't been you know i know it was it was like it was it was a it was such a it's just like a a really gutsy decision creatively to do that but if that had been the comedy awards we wouldn't have been going wow it's because it hadn't been done there in hollywood on tv by a fat brit yeah everything added to it i had a beer i was a fat brit i wasn't one of them but i was a bit you know but that was a contradiction i i had to be the outsider to get away with it i couldn't go out and go, hey, Brad, how you doing?

1:17:18Love your last movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, you'd love to. It would be nauseating, right? I had to be the outsider. I had to be the wrong person for the job. And I made the decision that, you know, do I pander to the 200 egos in the room? The most beautiful, wealthiest, privileged people on the planet, or the 200 million people watching at home in their pants who aren't winning an award, who aren't millionaires. It was a no-brainer, right? And I did take a risk. I did take a risk. You know, some people, that could have been the end of my career. I could have been blacklisted. But I didn't do anything that bad the first time.

1:17:53The second time I went for it a little bit more. That was the... You got a taste for it. I got a taste for it and I wasn't scared anymore and I wasn't doing anything wrong.

1:18:02Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. And they'd asked you back as well. I mean, that helps. And they asked me back, you know. Then, yeah, yeah, they did. I just think, you know, I think that when I first watched The Way You Did It, and I think a lot of people, especially comedians I think you watch you do it and you think holy shit I can't believe he's done it like because the truth is is like as a Brit we sort of revere Americans yeah and you and you sort of go holy shit you know you could easily be forgiven for thinking oh my god they've asked me to do like this really prestigious uh you know golden these awards I've got to like toe the line and you did the opposite and you and I both know that there are people that have gone the other way and it's not really worked as well.

1:18:46Romesh Ranganathan:Do you know what I mean? Well, that's the thing about selling out. It's okay selling out if it definitely works. But because you don't know, all you can do is not sell out. Then it doesn't matter whether it works or not because at least you didn't sell out. At least you can live with yourself and you can have another go. No one's going to – I don't need to be that. I didn't need anyone in that room. I could see the first time I did it, there were people looking around thinking, is this okay to laugh because I need a job off that bloke he's just taking the piss out of. I don't need him. I don't need a producer or a director or a writer.

1:19:18I don't need them. I don't need an actor, right? And, you know, you could piss off every actor in the world and they'd still come and do the part with you if it was a good part. You know what I mean? They're not going to go, I'm not going to work because he upset me. How much? Okay, I'll do it. I'll do it. You know, as I said, you know, if ISIS started a streaming service, you'd call your agent. They would. They've got to work. They've got to work. You know, all the principal stuff is performative, you know, so you can pretty much do what you want. But I didn't go out there and break the law. It wasn't mental.

1:19:52Everything was justified. I researched those jokes. I made sure it was fair. I wouldn't say anything to go, well, that's not fair. He didn't do that. I'd go, only tell the truth. I didn't out anyone. I didn't do anything that was not in public. I didn't do anything that was something they couldn't help. It was about their behaviours. Yes, yeah. So I have got this strict set of rule and codes. And I think it was the fact that as I went out there, am I an actor or a comedian? I'm a comedian. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've got to say it. I've got to say it. I'm a comedian, you know? Yeah. I think I made the choice to be a comedian.

1:20:31I know, but I did. And I acted like a comedian. And I performed it like a comedian. I wasn't an actor reading an autocue. And that was enough people to go, this is slightly different. This is mildly different.

1:20:47Romesh Ranganathan:No, but I think in hindsight, you know, I think... What would you do now then, if you were doing it? What would you do? Yeah, but the thing is, you watch that and you go, I don't know that I would have had the balls to do that, to be honest with you. But why? You've got nothing to lose. I know, I know, but you don't... I just think you can... Look, the truth is, I think, I think the the the superpower in comedy in any situation whether you're on a panel show or a chat show or doing stand up is to really not give a fuck that's right I think it's like that's right if you if you're able to grab hold of not giving a fuck that's right it's amazing that's right the question is whether I've been you know I sort of in hindsight I go you might have a job to do if you work for the BBC you've got a job to do yeah so that's the other thing I've made sure that I don't work for anyone right right right so I'm free already you know i don't want to lose it all i don't want netflix to suddenly go we don't want next special because you said a thing i'm conscious of it it's not like i'm mad it's not i go you can't say that even we know you can't fucking say that of course i do i know what you can and can't say sometimes i don't care sometimes i change it slightly sometimes i disagree sometimes i go no you can say that and here's why um so you you know i've got a plan i don't go out there drunk and say anything and hope I'm gonna go cut that you know I'm when I first started stand-up I remember my my remit was try and be as funny on stage as you are in the pub with your mates and that's really hard to do because you don't almost impossible because you don't have to apologize to your mates and you don't have to say everything to your mates it's just a look and you know if you're like someone walks in you go it's done so the audience got it and it takes the audience 15 years to get that you know I get repeat we all get repeat that they know you now so you can do those little looks and phrases and you know it's great it's great to be in the position when they know you so well they know what you're doing you don't have to apologize and I don't apologize to people who weren't there so I play I play to a million people not one complaint it goes on Netflix someone clips it up now there's millions of complaints they weren't there I'm not going to apologise you weren't there it makes such a difference them being there or not sometimes like the people that do my social media they go can we put this clip up and I go look in the room that was great I don't want it being put out I mean there is something to be said that comedy should be that if you're doing it live it's not to be seen with people at home you can't have two eyes on both I mean, I can, but you've got a contract.

1:23:36Think of that, you see. Everyone knows you and that. There's absolutely nothing wrong with your eyes, by the way. Oh, thanks, man.

1:23:46Romesh Ranganathan:Thank you. You're looking at me.

1:23:55Romesh Ranganathan:We've talked so much. there's so much stuff that we're almost out of time but I do want to play this game with you it's called misquoted oh Christ

1:24:07Romesh Ranganathan:it's misquoted I'm going to give you some quotes some of them are true some of them are false and you tell me if you said it or not oh what I said yeah so they're just going to be really embarrassing things that I shouldn't have said no I don't think that's fine one of them you've already done to be honest with you oh really yeah can I just have a drink of water okay it's my anxiety okay wait I'll give you the first one you've already said. This is from your Golden Globes opening monologue 2020. You laugh, but if ISIS started a streaming service, you'd call your agent. So there you go. We know that's true.

1:24:37Romesh Ranganathan:Here's your next one. What's the point of jokes? What's the point in having humour? Oh, I thought there was more. I think I've said something like, what's the point in jokes? What's the point in having humour? If you can't laugh at the most terrible things in the world. You did it. that's absolutely oh I was so patronised in the way I did you did it oh have I got to guess the ending as well no no no but it's like you did say that so the full quote is from GQ 2013 if you can't joke about the most horrendous things in the world what's the point of jokes what's the point in having humour humour is to get us over terrible things that's all it's for that's great well done congrats thank you so nothing to be nervous about no here's the next one I spend most of my spare time reading public toilet walls well it's not true so i wouldn't have said it i've said something like twitter is like reading every public toilet in the world at once yeah that's what that's that's what yeah um well done you're doing really well at this i do this did you say give me some things that ricky have said and this ai have done it because that was slightly different yeah yeah How about this one?

1:25:48Romesh Ranganathan:I'm a fucking big mouth. Well, I am. So it's true. Oh, I know this one because someone's made a meme of this and it comes out and I hate the photo.

1:26:03There's still photos around before I grew a beer and I go, use one from now.

1:26:14All rosy, rosy. That right. I said I'm a big mouth. Something like I... Animals haven't got a voice, so I speak for them. That's the one, yeah. That's right, yeah.

1:26:27Romesh Ranganathan:Animals don't have a voice, but I do a loud one. I'm a fucking big mouth. My voice is for them, and I'll never shut up while they suffer. That's great. I love that. Okay, here's the last one. I said R about myself. Yeah, you did. Oh, what a great guy. Well, it's awful. Do you know when somebody... I actually meant R, animals. That's what I meant. But it came out like, oh, Ricky, you're amazing. Listen, we know the intent, but we all know how it looks. Okay, here's your last one. I've never, ever cared what people think of me. I'm dead inside. It's not true, so I wouldn't have said that. No. In fact, you said on Smartless, actually, there is this myth that I go up, say what I want, and I don't care what people think of me.

1:27:08Romesh Ranganathan:That's just not true. Yeah. Which is kind of what you've alluded to, is that this idea that you don't give a shit. I did well there. That was that five out of five. Yeah, absolutely smashed it. Absolutely smashed it. Can you just tell us a bit about Alley Cats? Oh, yeah. So Alley Cats, I had this idea in lockdown where you couldn't do anything. You couldn't gig, you couldn't act, you couldn't do anything. I thought, oh, I could do an animation. I could do the voiceover on Zoom. I thought it was great. Obviously, two or three years after lockdown was over, they finally sort of got around to commissioning it.

1:27:43So I've already been working on this for two years, and it might be another year nearly. It's a thing called Alley Cats. It's about a group of... It's like a sitcom with cats living in a basement, watching telly, talking shit, talking about the world. It's an excuse to have a go at the world, have a go at humans through cats. You think I get away with saying what I want in the Golden Globes. When you're an adorable cat, you can say what the fuck you like. oh it's you know i mean you can go further than anyone's ever gone before some of it is like prison talk it's mental there's nothing like it and they're adorable cats saying it and having a plan and but they're at bottom of the pile so they can only sort of punch up and there's a cruel world so it's like i've crossed i've crossed like animal farm with derrick and clive with only fools and horses with you know it's that sort of it's that sort of thing and um a lot of it's uh there's a screenplay for all it but within that we really i'd even go mad and try and make each other laugh and it's me tom basden diane morgan uh joe hartley uh tony wade david earl um uh andrew brooks so it's got it's the cream of british comedy that's an amazing car fucking around being being cats there's nothing like it I mean everything I do is my favourite thing at the moment but this is my favourite thing I've ever done at the moment and when will that come out?

1:29:14oh next summer autumn, it's mad it takes so, because every especially if you keep fucking improv-ing well that's the quick bit yeah, you go into a room it's like it's like, I don't know what it is like a month, a minute

1:29:31Romesh Ranganathan:Well, I did one of the voices for Chicken Run too. Oh, right, yeah. And then me and Danny Mays were just like, we're doing a bit of improv. And then the directors went, that'll take like another month. Yeah, of course. Of course. For that little pause and then that little ad-lib. Usually I've done quite a bit of animation, but usually I'm an actor for hire in a booth. No one else around is fitting in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got to slot it into them. Because the animation is king. Whereas here, the audio was king and they've got to do it to that. So it was finished before they started, if you know what I mean.

1:30:08Right, right, right. So there's nothing quite like that really. But yeah, that's the idea.

1:30:13Romesh Ranganathan:Just before you go, is it possible, you know, we ask every guest for like a exclusive thing that we can, you know. Right. You know what I mean? Attention is currency and all that shit. Well, I've thought about it. and I'm worried about this one okay because sometimes things are secret for a reason you know no I get it I get it I I am 30 years ago I gave a kidney to my nephew did you? he was going to die oh my god no I'm joking he died

1:31:02we've got a whiskey coming out um next year no one knows about that it's top secret i can't even tell you the name of it but we have got a a premium um malt english whiskey

1:31:16Romesh Ranganathan:He looked like you were going to cry. Told you. That's what you get, boy.

1:31:26I've got a real exclusive. Oh, go on. I know the name of the next tour. Oh, amazing. Is that all right? Yeah, great. Not exactly giving a kidney away, is it?

1:31:41Okay. Yeah, I'm ready. I'm starting warm-ups already. and this comes out on the 30th of December and I've got warm-ups in the first week of January. That's mad. And I wanted to call the next one, just in case it's my last, I wanted to call it... This is ironic. Yeah. You'll forget about that halfway through. People go, he's a fucking arrogant twat. Yeah. I wanted to call it Legend.

1:32:11It's like I'm forcing their obituary. Yeah, yeah. Well, he was known as legend. Well, no, he made that up. He said that.

1:32:18Romesh Ranganathan:He said that. Well, yeah. You launder it. I didn't think once the Emmys, right, I was up for a couple of Emmys and I lost them both, but I was handing out an Emmy. And I got the Emmy and I said, just take a picture of that. I said, that'll be on the papers. And it was. So now people think I won that Emmy.

1:32:39um uh so yeah i think the idea would be that it was like it was about me yeah but it's obviously i'm gonna fall on my face yeah you know but i think it's a funny thing to say about yourself

1:32:54Romesh Ranganathan:yeah yeah i remember going to watch kanye like sort of pre you know yeah and um he was like there's this bit in the gig where he's he's in the gig he's supposed to land another planet and then this alien appears and then he goes, he goes, hello, I'm Kanye West. And then the alien goes, we know how you are, Kanye. You're the biggest star in the whole universe. And then everybody starts cheering. And I go, well, he fucking wrote that. Was he serious though? Yeah. So he, it was out irony. He thought they love this because I probably am the biggest. But they did, but they were like cheering. And they go, oh my God, like an alien had actually recognized Kanye.

1:33:30Romesh Ranganathan:That's so funny. He fucking scripted that. That is so funny that they're thinking, that's a mate. You know what the avian said about him, don't you? He said it was a greater, not for me to say. His words. Yeah, that's great. That's really great. Mate, thank you so much for coming on the show. What a pleasure. You've been unbelievable. Unbelievable. The best ever, I'd say. Well, you say it. Not in this. No. On Twitter. Yeah, sure. Cut this bit out. Yeah, yeah. Without doubt, my favourite guest of all time. Okay. Okay, and I wonder if I'll retweet that.

1:34:11Romesh Ranganathan:Please give it up for Ricky Gervais. Thank you so much. Oh, my God. If you've enjoyed this episode of the Romesh Ranganathan Show, make sure you follow wherever you get your podcasts, Apple, Spotify, YouTube, all the big ones, and you can enjoy more great content like this. And, in fact, I'll go further to say, even if you didn't enjoy this episode, just follow anyway for shits and giggles. And on the Thursday episode, we're going to be taking questions from viewers and listeners. Oh. So that's exciting, isn't it? It's interesting. Yeah. And if you've got an interesting story or a question for my mum and I, or even like a family dilemma you'd like us to help you with, please do get in touch via our email address, podcast at rangaby.com, or you can voice note or text on this number, 07731 6233 55.

1:34:57Romesh Ranganathan:I'm Ramesh Ranganathan, and this has been the Ramesh Ranganathan Show. What a narcissist. See you next time. Oh, shut up, Romesh. Monster Energy. Everybody knows White Monster Zero Ultra. That's the OG. It kicked off this whole Zero Sugar Energy drink thing. But Ultra is a whole lineup now. You've got Strawberry Dreams, Blue Hawaiian, Sunrise, and Vice Guava. And they all bring the Monster Energy punch. So if you've been living in the white can, branch out. Ultra's got a flavor for every vibe, and every single one is zero sugar. Tap the banner to learn more. You know what they say. Early Bird gets the ultimate vacation home.

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