Romesh’s Near Death Experience & Solving The Beckham’s Drama

4:48Romesh Ranganathan:Right. So again, you've brought some snacks for the chimps.

4:54Shanthi Ranganathan:What do you mean chimps? You are the biggest chimp. I think I'm probably the only

5:02Romesh Ranganathan:person that can say that and not get cancelled.

5:07Shanthi Ranganathan:Okay, carry on.

5:09Romesh Ranganathan:Okay. So you've brought mutton

5:10Shanthi Ranganathan:rolls how many have you brought uh actually 20 20 mutton rolls yeah so she's what 20 mutton rolls she even gave some to hobbsy the driver why do you call him hobbsy because that's his name no that's john john hobbs john hobbsy anyway you've given him two mutton rolls yeah yeah yeah

5:37Romesh Ranganathan:How many of the rolls are vegetarian?

5:40Shanthi Ranganathan:None.

5:41Romesh Ranganathan:None. None. None. None. So there are 20 mutton rolls. And this is the question I'd like to ask to the animals in the gallery. I don't want you.

5:50Shanthi Ranganathan:No.

5:51Romesh Ranganathan:What? You want to be nice to them? You want to be nice to them? Yeah. Okay. This is a question I want to ask to the three gentlemen.

5:56Shanthi Ranganathan:Yeah.

5:56Romesh Ranganathan:I know that you're normally biased and it's very difficult for you to focus on the cameras when your tongue is so firmly rammed up my mum's arsehole. right

6:11Romesh Ranganathan:but I'd love you I'd love you to tell me what do you think mum's response would have been had I brought a load of food and not a single thing that she could eat what do you think would happen

6:22Shanthi Ranganathan:you are an awkward person I asked you several times hold on a second

6:27Romesh Ranganathan:I'm talking to the team so you have a right to reply in a minute of course let's see if they've got between them even a single testicle. I think you've never really bought anything for the team or the office. I brought the podcast to the team. That's a thing, isn't it? I would say that's a thing. But you can't eat it. Well, you're eating as a result of it. No, but okay, look, joking aside, do you not think mum would have reacted? She would have reacted negatively, right? That's fair, isn't it? If you bought something she couldn't have? Yeah, that everyone else could.

7:04Shanthi Ranganathan:Is there an example of like Shanti, is there anything that you don't eat? Is there anything that you just won't eat? Pork, I won't eat.

7:09Romesh Ranganathan:Okay, so there you go. If I brought loads of bacon. By the way, did you enjoy these snacks that were brought? You won't eat pork at all. Can I cast your mind back to a few episodes ago when you were given the, basically every part of a pig that you can eat? I ate that. Oh, you ate that. You ate that. You ate that. Here's a little bit of insight. Here's a little bit of insight for you. That was pork.

7:33Shanthi Ranganathan:It looks so different. I've already tasted it. Okay. I used to eat pork. Well, you do eat pork.

7:39Romesh Ranganathan:You ate pork.

7:40Shanthi Ranganathan:Anyway.

7:41Romesh Ranganathan:Was it Jolly Hog? Jolly Hog, yeah. Yeah, Jolly Hog gave you all... It was like a Lego set for a pig. And you fucking ate all of it. Didn't you?

7:50Shanthi Ranganathan:I did.

7:52Romesh Ranganathan:But you don't eat pork. I still got some. I still got some. Right, you still got some. But what are you going to do with that?

7:56Shanthi Ranganathan:Eat it.

7:57Romesh Ranganathan:Okay, but you don't eat pork.

7:58Shanthi Ranganathan:But I avoid eating pork.

8:00Romesh Ranganathan:You avoid it, okay.

8:01Shanthi Ranganathan:but it is a nice delicious thing of...

8:03Romesh Ranganathan:You avoid eating pork unless there's a nice delicious bit of pork. Bit of pork. You know...

8:11Romesh Ranganathan:You can't argue with willpower like that, can you? No. The rules are the rules.

8:15Shanthi Ranganathan:I think Shanti would react in a sort of super chill way and just be like, oh, this is completely understandable. You know, these things happen, I think Shanti would probably say.

8:23Romesh Ranganathan:Okay, it's statements like that that are the reason that you don't have a camera on you, all right? Because when you're asked to contribute, You yet again reinforce the fucking bias on this fucking show where whatever happens, they side with you. Have you noticed that?

8:41Shanthi Ranganathan:Maybe they like me. You call them all sort of names. Why would they like you?

8:48Romesh Ranganathan:Do you guys like me?

8:50Shanthi Ranganathan:No. Why are you answering for them? Why are you answering for them? I can't read your mind, Ramesh. One day you will say I'll eat. depends on what your stomach says. How do I know? I love to cook for you. Always I offer, in the car I offered, you said, no, I don't want to eat that.

9:10Romesh Ranganathan:No, but I was being a bit stropical.

9:11Shanthi Ranganathan:You nearly died eating the Chinese thing.

9:14Romesh Ranganathan:Why are you bringing this up now?

9:15Shanthi Ranganathan:It is true. Can you imagine? You get, you're almost choked. So if you are not that hungry, why can't I cook something and you can keep it in the freezer, spicy one?

9:28Romesh Ranganathan:You brought mutton rolls. you didn't even bring a vegetarian option. Just accept it. It's neglect.

9:33Shanthi Ranganathan:Yeah.

9:34Romesh Ranganathan:What happened with the Chinese? Have I told this story? I don't think so. Now, I think I've mentioned, it's Lao Gan, can we look this up? Lao Gan Ma chili oil. Yes, you have mentioned that. Okay, so this chili oil, I'm addicted to. It's a problem, okay? It's an actual genuine problem. And when I've been coming back from the theatre, I've been having like a little snack. And I'll often put this chili oil onto whatever I'm eating. And I really like the taste of it. I would say it's become a problem, how addicted I am to the taste of it. Anyway, one night, a couple of weeks ago, we came home and I wasn't hungry, but I still wanted a hit of that chili oil.

10:18Romesh Ranganathan:Okay. So I've now, I say evolved, regressed to the point where every now and again, I would just have a tablespoon of the chili oil on its own. That's a spoonful. Yes. Yeah. Right. So I took a tablespoon. Yeah. Table? Yeah. I thought you said teaspoon. No, it was a tablespoon. So I took a tablespoon. Why is this so bad? Is this really bad? You're stupid, you are. It's delicious, right? It's oily, though. It is oily. It's bad. I'm sure one of our listeners put it into a... There was a comment. They were like, I put it into this nutritional score. It's got a zero score, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

10:55Romesh Ranganathan:Thanks for that little reminder. The animals can talk when they want to, can't they? Anyway, so I put the tablespoon in and I ate the tablespoon and then a little bit went the wrong way. And then I coughed and sprayed all of our kitchen cupboards with chilla oil. Then I started choking and I was really choking to the point where I thought I think I'm going to die now. I couldn't breathe. so for some reason my survival technique was to walk around the kitchen island repeatedly to try and walk it off so I'm walking around choking while also sort of asking chat GPT am I going to die eventually I recovered but I had this sort of fear that Lisa was going to come down everyone was asleep Lisa was going to come downstairs in the morning to find my dead body an open jar of chile oil and it's sprayed across all of the cupboards well I mean that is a posthumous ick isn't it

11:59Romesh Ranganathan:anyway i so it took me ages there was an adrenaline spike from from from choking like that so i looked it up and it said actually what your body's doing is what it's supposed to do it closes off everything so that nothing can get any further into where it's not supposed to so even though it feels really bad actually your body's doing it's a defense mechanism but it feels horrific so i had to deal with the adrenaline of that and then i really started to panic that lisa was going to find sort of chili oil sprayed all over the cupboards no you know Lisa's not a difficult partner but she's quite fastidious about hygiene so I then spent the next half an hour cleaning all the kitchen cupboards and trying to remove any trace of chili oil put the jar back in the thing went to bed it took me quite a while to go to sleep because worry no because I was I was like

12:46Shanthi Ranganathan:I thought I was gonna die there's a real panic that's a bit of stupid anyway the the conclusion

12:51Romesh Ranganathan:to that story is and this is the saddest bit of the story lisa has now told me i'm not allowed to eat that chili all unsupervised do you accept that as well yeah although the other night i did

13:09Shanthi Ranganathan:have a bit yes your body is starving you wanted to taste the spicy thing so in the car but it can Can I talk now?

13:17Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, you can talk.

13:18Shanthi Ranganathan:So I offered to make Malay pickle that so many spicy things goes there. Not too hard. But no, I'm working. I can't eat. But this is your maker. You're fabricating stuff now.

13:30Romesh Ranganathan:That never happened.

13:32Shanthi Ranganathan:Ask John. He was listening.

13:34Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. By the way, that's another little prick that just takes your side every time. Fucking mutton roll hanging out of his gob like a cigar as he defends you.

13:47Shanthi Ranganathan:Well, you offered him a gift.

13:50Romesh Ranganathan:I did, yeah. Yeah, I did. What's that got to do with it?

13:53Shanthi Ranganathan:You are a two-faced donkey, you are.

13:55Romesh Ranganathan:I'm not two-faced. Hobbesy, he's going to hear the podcast. Hobbesy, you're a piece of shit for the way you behaved on the journey. He knows I think that. Anyway, I told him in the car. I said to him, you're betraying me now.

14:10Shanthi Ranganathan:I offered to make something. You give me excuses. Then you start shouting at me. You never cook anything.

14:16Romesh Ranganathan:When have I ever, okay. Shouting me. When have I ever shouted it?

14:20Shanthi Ranganathan:No, you never shouted at me.

14:22Romesh Ranganathan:Right.

14:22Shanthi Ranganathan:But the way you say it, you are a comedian. You say it, oh, let me, you know, say something to mum. Thanks for the mutton rolls, by the way. Yeah, really not. Oh, you're welcome. Thank you for the mutton rolls.

14:33Romesh Ranganathan:They're delicious. You've not had them yet? They're always delicious. It's a safe bet.

14:37Shanthi Ranganathan:This time, I tasted yesterday one, because I had to get it yesterday, because they don't make it early in the morning.

14:43Romesh Ranganathan:She had it with a side of pork that she doesn't eat.

14:50Shanthi Ranganathan:Yeah, it's so nice this time

14:53Romesh Ranganathan:Delicious So what happens after this episode You're going to heat them up and serve them to everybody

14:57Shanthi Ranganathan:I don't eat any meat on Tuesday

15:00Romesh Ranganathan:Right

15:00Shanthi Ranganathan:I ate yesterday Yeah, sure As soon as it arrived So today I'm vegetarian It's Tuesday

15:07Romesh Ranganathan:Tuesday? Yeah No meat Tuesdays?

15:09Shanthi Ranganathan:No

15:09Romesh Ranganathan:Okay, is that true?

15:11Shanthi Ranganathan:It's true

15:12Romesh Ranganathan:So you won't have a mutton roll?

15:13Shanthi Ranganathan:No

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16:18Romesh Ranganathan:okay mom we had on month what are you laughing at can i just say something you've been really horrible to me on this episode because you said

16:27Shanthi Ranganathan:i don't cook anything for you in the car i didn't say that yeah you did no i didn't the way you say you are you are frightened of lisa in case she said i'm not frightened did you get this spicy I think she'll know. That's what you're frightened of.

16:40Romesh Ranganathan:Mum, I'm not frightened. I'm not frightened of Lisa. You've made this dynamic. Like I'm frightened of a woman in my life. I am. And it's not Lisa. Me? No. Then am I a man then?

16:55Shanthi Ranganathan:I'm a man? Tell me, Mumish, am I a man? No, I'm not frightened.

17:00Romesh Ranganathan:We had Sheridan on the podcast, didn't we? Ben, this needs to get sorted out.

17:07Shanthi Ranganathan:Okay, right.

17:08Romesh Ranganathan:Right. What shall I cook for you?

17:10Shanthi Ranganathan:Because it's a wrong thing to do. Okay. I didn't bring anything for you today.

17:15Romesh Ranganathan:Okay, now finally, how long have we been recording for? I'm going to make up to upset you.

17:22Shanthi Ranganathan:What shall I cook for you, my dear?

17:24Romesh Ranganathan:I would love an aubergine curry with a side of dal, maybe a little bit of soy, and don't worry about the rice, I can take care of that. Okay?

17:32Shanthi Ranganathan:Brown rice? is good for you. Okay. Brown rice. It's clear in your stomach.

17:39Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, okay.

17:40Shanthi Ranganathan:Gut health is most important.

17:41Romesh Ranganathan:It is, yeah. There you are. Yeah.

17:43Shanthi Ranganathan:I'll do that.

17:44Romesh Ranganathan:Okay, great.

17:44Shanthi Ranganathan:Then I'll come because I don't have your gate number. I will ring, ring, ring, ring. Okay?

17:52Romesh Ranganathan:I've texted you the gate number on four or five occasions.

17:55Shanthi Ranganathan:I have asked you so many times. I had to walk you in the fucking mud and ring the bell and my shoe is covered in mud.

18:02Romesh Ranganathan:Mom, I've texted you the code. Rami, you are lying to me I'm not lying to you

18:07Shanthi Ranganathan:God is watching you

18:11Romesh Ranganathan:Sheridan was good, wasn't she?

18:13Shanthi Ranganathan:She was so good, yeah

18:14Romesh Ranganathan:You weren't there How can we trust anything you say?

18:22Romesh Ranganathan:I think Shanti meant on the Let me try and make sure that Shanti's not in the wrong You are being horrible Can I tell you something? All four of you are really fucking me off today.

18:35Shanthi Ranganathan:I'll join them. I'm in the zoo. You've already joined them.

18:38Romesh Ranganathan:You've already joined them. Get in the cage with them.

18:42Shanthi Ranganathan:I'd love to.

18:43Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. You're there.

18:44Shanthi Ranganathan:Because when I walked on Sigiriya, who brought me down? Oh, my God.

18:51Romesh Ranganathan:2015 that happened. So what? 11 years ago.

18:54Shanthi Ranganathan:I could have broken my leg. Where were you? Running in the front.

18:57Romesh Ranganathan:I wanted to get down to the bottom. There was vegetable rolls that actually provided for me.

19:01Shanthi Ranganathan:Because I'm a woman, old woman, they are deciding me. You're not an old woman.

19:05Romesh Ranganathan:You're in your prime, if you play fast and loose with the word prime. Okay, on Monday, we had the indomitable Sheridan Smith, legendary actor on the show. Mum, you're a big fan, aren't you?

19:20Shanthi Ranganathan:I am.

19:21Romesh Ranganathan:She's the best, isn't she?

19:23Shanthi Ranganathan:My son is the best.

19:25Romesh Ranganathan:I'm not acting. Mum.

19:28Shanthi Ranganathan:You are a stupid doctor. You have the face. your facial expression, I loved it.

19:34Romesh Ranganathan:Did you?

19:35Shanthi Ranganathan:Like that, with a stethoscope.

19:37Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. Mum, at no point did I have a stethoscope in the play at all.

19:41Shanthi Ranganathan:Thank you for paying attention. What the hell is hanging there?

19:43Romesh Ranganathan:Huh? Nothing. A tie?

19:45Shanthi Ranganathan:Ah, you couldn't open the thing, isn't it? The briefcase, yeah.

19:50Romesh Ranganathan:That was in the script, though.

19:52Shanthi Ranganathan:My God. No, but that's in the script. You had to pretend that you can't open the briefcase. Yeah.

19:58Romesh Ranganathan:Did you think I was actually struggling to open a briefcase?

19:59Shanthi Ranganathan:Didn't you prep before you come to the stage? Mum, it's not...

20:10Shanthi Ranganathan:What a stupid doctor. You can't even open the briefcase. How the hell are you going to check the patient?

20:20Romesh Ranganathan:God. He kept falling over the frog as well, didn't he? Yeah, tripped over. He kept falling over the frog as well, didn't he?

20:29Shanthi Ranganathan:Didn't he, Shanti? What do you say about that? We love you. We don't criticise you. You're trying to correct you.

20:38Romesh Ranganathan:Okay, I'll accept we love you. We don't criticise you. Absolutely go fuck yourself with that assertion. Anyway, you came to see Woman in Mind. Sheridan Smith, National Treasure.

20:51Shanthi Ranganathan:Yeah.

20:52Romesh Ranganathan:What did you think of her performance?

20:54Shanthi Ranganathan:She's so beautiful. I found that you were a bit too close you put your arm on her lap good job she didn't slap you

21:05Romesh Ranganathan:what do you mean?

21:06Shanthi Ranganathan:oh like that

21:07Romesh Ranganathan:I didn't do that

21:08Shanthi Ranganathan:you did? no I didn't no I didn't

21:10Romesh Ranganathan:no I didn't

21:11Shanthi Ranganathan:I saw you doing it

21:13Romesh Ranganathan:she puts her hand in my lap in the play

21:15Shanthi Ranganathan:what did you do? like this?

21:18Romesh Ranganathan:what? with what? what are those? what are you spreading? oh arms

21:25Shanthi Ranganathan:Oh, Romance. I was feeling a bit nervous. Why? Oh, like you are getting... Getting what?

21:39Shanthi Ranganathan:She won't mind me saying, no? Who won't mind? That you were too close to her.

21:44Romesh Ranganathan:Well, you asked her on the show, didn't you? Yeah. What did she say? You apologise. She realised that it was a scripted play.

21:51Shanthi Ranganathan:Thank God for that. Oh, my God.

21:54Romesh Ranganathan:Did you think we were improvising and I decided to...

21:57Shanthi Ranganathan:What did Lisa say about that? Touching other women?

22:00Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, again, this is another example of where you sort of project... Lisa didn't care. If anything, I wish she cared a bit more. Pardon?

22:09Shanthi Ranganathan:Does she love you?

22:10Romesh Ranganathan:Does Lisa love me? Yeah, I think so.

22:12Shanthi Ranganathan:So it doesn't bother you touching other women?

22:14Romesh Ranganathan:It's a play.

22:18Romesh Ranganathan:If Lisa walked past the theatre and I sat out the front doing that with Sheridan, then, yeah, I think she'd have a problem.

22:24Shanthi Ranganathan:Thank God for that.

22:25Romesh Ranganathan:I think she would text me, at least. But in the play, no, she doesn't care.

22:30Shanthi Ranganathan:Regarding that Michael McIntyre show, and you were saying... This is a fucking rollercoaster, isn't it? I didn't know you had that girlfriend.

22:40Romesh Ranganathan:I didn't have that girlfriend, Mum. Oh, my God. Am I getting bollered for something I did when I was 16? I'm 20 years old now. So what was this? What happened on McIntyre? What did I tell you?

22:50Shanthi Ranganathan:Until you enter university, no fucking girls. What did you do? You kissed her, didn't you?

22:57Romesh Ranganathan:Did you just tut, Will? I pray, I pray, I pray for you that you didn't just tut when my mum said that.

23:09Romesh Ranganathan:That is, that is - Quite quiet normally. Mate, I would never have expected that from Will. These are the two fuckos. Absolutely. All day, every day. But Will. Holy shit. Et tu, Will. I didn't say anything. He's got a bit of Sri Lankan. That was a Sri Lankan tut, wasn't it? This bugger.

23:30Shanthi Ranganathan:Not in the world. Anyway, that's all forgotten, but you are doing so well.

23:37Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, great.

23:37Shanthi Ranganathan:That makes me so happy. Yeah. Little advice that I gave when you were young, it worked.

23:43Romesh Ranganathan:What was that? What was the advice?

23:45Shanthi Ranganathan:You forgot?

23:46Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah.

23:46Shanthi Ranganathan:Sometimes I'm strict with you. Yeah, yeah.

23:49Romesh Ranganathan:Okay. Now, she brought a little guest with her, Sheridan. Winnie, her dog. It's a Griffin. I think it's pronounced Griffin. Griffin or Griffin. That is a breed of dog.

24:00Shanthi Ranganathan:Yeah.

24:01Romesh Ranganathan:I'm going to show you a picture.

24:02Shanthi Ranganathan:Mm-hmm.

24:03Romesh Ranganathan:Have we got?

24:03Shanthi Ranganathan:Ah, lovely. The dog was here? Yeah. You had a confession, which was surprising.

24:10Romesh Ranganathan:Does your mum know about it? I don't know what you're talking about. That you are a D &D player, Dungeons & Dragons player. I didn't think that was a confession. I just thought it was something I did, but it got a bad reaction in the room, I'm not going to lie. I've started playing Dungeons & Dragons.

24:27Shanthi Ranganathan:What the hell is that? It's like a table-based RPG.

24:36Romesh Ranganathan:It is huge. It's a huge phenomenon. It's massive. Lots of people are. Look, I'm going to say this now, actually. It's Chris Pratt that plays it. I want to talk to the D &D community. I think we've been, and I'm saying we now, because I'm a member, we've been unfairly slighted. It's seen as some sort of nerdy, sad thing, but actually, it's fucking great, okay? And one of my new missions on this podcast is to unite the community of D &D players. Let's fucking go. I'd love to play with you, Mum. Yes.

25:05Shanthi Ranganathan:Okay.

25:05Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah?

25:05Shanthi Ranganathan:I am not good in any games. That's all right.

25:08Romesh Ranganathan:But we always need a dragon. Okay. Now, as always, this week... Okay. Now, listen, mum, we've got a slight issue, is that we've spent so long bonding that we haven't got much time for listener questions. But I do think we should do at least one.

25:27Shanthi Ranganathan:Okay.

25:28Romesh Ranganathan:So this is where we answer your problems and queries, or even if you've got a story, we love to discuss that, don't we? So have we got a voice note in, have we? Yeah, from Rose. Okay, this is from Rose from Wolverhampton.

25:42Shanthi Ranganathan:Hi, Romesh and Shanti. This is Rose from Wolverhampton.

25:46Romesh Ranganathan:Hi, Rose.

25:47Shanthi Ranganathan:I've got to ask the question. I know everybody's going on about the whole Victoria Beckham, Brooklyn situation. So I thought, who better to ask than the ultimate mother and son duo, in particular Shanti of course what do you think of this whole situation and what would you do in this situation and I would particularly like to know what do you think of this dance like do you think that at your son's wedding you should be dancing with your son if you do what sort of dance would you do with your son do you think it's inappropriate to be, like, grinding on your son. Yeah, I'd just really like to know your thoughts, really, on this.

26:39Shanthi Ranganathan:Thanks a lot, guys.

26:41Romesh Ranganathan:Thank you so much for your question, Rose. Mum?

26:46Shanthi Ranganathan:My darling Rose, I'll tell you. Oh, what the hell?

26:51Romesh Ranganathan:Sorry, are we in Pride and Prejudice all of a sudden?

26:57Shanthi Ranganathan:Suddenly she projects. No, yeah. Go on. It's sad in a way, but I remember when I saw when they announced why they called Brooklyn. And it's sad to see that they are separating and he's taking the wife's side. He should sit and think, you know, how would my mother feel? And he could have a private chat with her.

27:28Romesh Ranganathan:I think they have had a lot of private chats, but they haven't managed to figure it out.

27:31Shanthi Ranganathan:But who is, somebody is stubborn in there.

27:34Romesh Ranganathan:I think they're all, well, I'm slightly loath to comment on this because I just don't, I feel like, you know, we're all understanding the story through the filter of whatever's been publicised. And it's like a private family, as private as the Beckhams get, because obviously Brooklyn's done a big Instagram post. But I just sort of think, none of us are qualified to fall on either side of this.

27:57Shanthi Ranganathan:We shouldn't take side, but Brooklyn should think, you know, they have done so many good things for me. And suddenly I got married. Now I'm going to take father-in-law's name and decide. And I don't think it's right.

28:13Romesh Ranganathan:Can I just read this segment from Brooklyn's statement? Yeah. And let's just comment on this particularly. Yeah. My mum, so this is what Brooklyn Beckham stuck on Instagram, okay? My mum hijacked my first dance with my wife, which had been planned weeks in advance to a romantic love song. In front of our 500 wedding guests, Mark Antony called me to the stage wherein the schedule was planned to be my romantic dance with my wife, but instead my mum was waiting to dance with me instead. She danced very inappropriately on me, in front of everyone. I've never felt more uncomfortable or humiliated in my entire life.

28:48Shanthi Ranganathan:She wanted to give him a surprise, but why aren't they showing the dance?

28:53Romesh Ranganathan:It wasn't filmed. It was a private event.

28:56Shanthi Ranganathan:So it's a surprise that she wanted to give him because she loved the son so much. It happened. It happened.

29:03Romesh Ranganathan:Your mother bias is showing. You need to... On a wedding day, who are you expected to dance with? Your wife. That should be the first dance, right, of your wedding day. Like, your wife is going to be looking forward to it. Wedding day is something people, like women, fantasise about.

29:22Shanthi Ranganathan:I do understand that, yeah.

29:23Romesh Ranganathan:So then she's looking forward to dancing with her brand new husband for the first time in front of the guests that they've invited to celebrate their union, hopefully forever. And then his mum turns up. Can you not see that is bang out of order?

29:39Shanthi Ranganathan:Victoria Beckham, she was a very popular lady, good-looking lady. This was just a surprise, her son. Oh, OK, what's his name? Mark Antony, see? Yeah, the singer. The guy who announced. He's a singer.

29:52Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah.

29:53Shanthi Ranganathan:She must have spoken to him and said, can you say that?

29:55Romesh Ranganathan:I'm sure she did. That's not the question. We're not talking about logistics.

29:58Shanthi Ranganathan:But I won't take it seriously. That's done. Mum done, finished. She was in a musical group. She danced. They love dancing. I won't find it a bit wrong.

30:10Romesh Ranganathan:Mum, mum, mum. But the point is, she shouldn't have done it, in my opinion.

30:14Shanthi Ranganathan:Maybe she should have told Brooklyn, got the permission first.

30:20Romesh Ranganathan:That's a good, yeah.

30:21Shanthi Ranganathan:Yeah, that's also true. So surprise on the wedding day feels a bit mad.

30:25Romesh Ranganathan:I think if it was his birthday and she decided it'd be funny to do a dance, then fine. But on the wedding day, it feels a bit... The wife didn't know. Brooklyn didn't know.

30:35Shanthi Ranganathan:The dance? What, she did jump on him? Don't know.

30:38Romesh Ranganathan:It wasn't filmed. There's a lot of memes going around where she's sort of like grinding up on him.

30:44Shanthi Ranganathan:Oh, my God.

30:45Romesh Ranganathan:Rubbing her gooch all over his... Do you two ever dance together? When's the last time we danced together?

30:51Shanthi Ranganathan:No, as soon as you see me, somewhere in public, you run off. You never come near me.

30:56Romesh Ranganathan:Does anybody believe that's true? These are just fabrications now.

31:00Shanthi Ranganathan:It's not fabrications.

31:01Romesh Ranganathan:I feel like I'm doing a podcast with Walter Mitty. You're just fabricating and making up shit. You're just picking stuff out. Every time I see you in public, I run away. Right. I remember you two dancing. Yeah. In Los Angeles. You danced on top of the Hollywood Hills.

31:20Shanthi Ranganathan:Because you were filming. That's why you danced. You ask to dance. Thanks for that, Ben. It was meant to be a nice ending to the show. You didn't want to refuse.

31:31Romesh Ranganathan:I did dance with you, didn't I?

31:33Shanthi Ranganathan:A little bit.

31:34Romesh Ranganathan:A lot.

31:36Shanthi Ranganathan:No, it's not a lot.

31:38Romesh Ranganathan:We would dance for a bit and then you put your hand on my ass. I thought it was weird.

31:41Shanthi Ranganathan:No, why would I? I just thought I joined in with the making shit up.

31:47Romesh Ranganathan:Okay. Okay, I... In my... Rose, I know you were sort of more keen to... You were keener to get mum's opinion than mine. But I think it's fallen the way we all expected. I think Victoria... In my opinion, Victoria shouldn't have done it. In mum's opinion, it was absolutely fine. No, I wouldn't say she wouldn't have done it.

32:05Shanthi Ranganathan:She could have asked Brooklyn.

32:06Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, maybe ask in advance.

32:08Shanthi Ranganathan:And his future wife, now his wife, the permission. Yeah. Is it okay if I dance? Yes. And it would have solved the problem. But also I think there was a nugget of really a gem of a bit of advice for you,

32:22Romesh Ranganathan:if you don't mind me giving you some praise here. Please do. When you said he shouldn't have got so upset about it, I do think that is a good point, right? Because I always think, in my opinion, one of the ways you can avoid getting really upset about things is actually putting yourself in the position of the other person and thinking about what their motivations might be. So say, for example, let's imagine that you decided to jump in and dance with me at my wedding. Now, Lisa might get pissed off. She probably would get pissed off. Yeah, I know that. And I'd be annoyed as well.

32:56Shanthi Ranganathan:No, you'll be embarrassed.

32:57Romesh Ranganathan:And annoyed.

32:58Shanthi Ranganathan:And annoyed, yeah.

32:59Romesh Ranganathan:But I would think to myself, my mum would never wish anything but the best for me. Yeah, that's true. And so she's made a misjudgment in this instance, but it's not come from a bad place. So I'd say to you, Mum, I don't think you should have done that. That was a bit. I would have had a chat with you about it. Go, Mum, that was a bit off key. And we probably would have had a little bit of a falling out. I wouldn't have cut you off. I wouldn't have stopped speaking to you. I would have just said, Mum, I don't think that was the right thing to do.

33:28Shanthi Ranganathan:I don't know why Brooklyn is behaving like that.

33:30Romesh Ranganathan:Well, that leads me to another point. This is that's not that I don't think that's the only reason. That is definitely not the only reason that they've had a rift. There's lots of shit going on. and they always like you know people are sort of saying oh i'm on that side on that side none of us are qualified to be on any side this idea that you can based on what you've read you can go oh i think these people are not you've got no fucking idea do you know what i mean anyway time to wrap up we've gone way too long okay that's it for this thursday's episode mom would you like to give people just sort of like a little uplifting message to take them we're going to be back on monday with another guest episode, would you like to give them an uplifting message to...

34:08Shanthi Ranganathan:Hi, everybody. Please listen to us next Thursday and we'll be here... And Monday.

34:13Romesh Ranganathan:There's a Monday app.

34:14Shanthi Ranganathan:And Monday as well. I'm sorry. My son is correcting me. And I love you all. And I loved your comment and look after yourself. Always love you.

34:24Romesh Ranganathan:Brilliant. That's really good. That's all we have time for. Thank you so much for joining us. Au revoir, mes amis! Yay! Thank you so much for watching this episode of the Romesh Ranganathan Show. I've been told that some of you are watching this, enjoying it, wallowing in it, but you still haven't subscribed. That's mad behaviour. You're going to miss episodes. Very silly. So follow and subscribe to the Romesh Ranganathan Show on YouTube, Spotify, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. We drop new episodes every Monday and Thursday. On Monday, I'm here with amazing guests talking about their career, what they're up to, having a laugh with them.

34:57Romesh Ranganathan:And then on Thursdays, I'm joined by my mum, widely regarded as the audience's favourite Ranganathan and we answer your questions, your stories and your family dilemmas We'll be back on Monday with another great guest and then Mum will see you again on Thursday Send your questions and stories to podcast at rangabee.com voice note or text on 07731 623 355 We genuinely love hearing from you and there's a good chance you'll hear yourself on the show See you next time

35:24Shanthi Ranganathan:Oh shut up Romesh