Shanthi Goes VIRAL On TikTok & Romesh ABANDONS Shanthi at a Wedding!?

0:00Welcome back to the Thursday edition of the Ramesh Ranganathan show. I'm here with my mom Shanti Ranganathan. How are you, Mum? I'm fine, thank you Thanks for being on the show Oh, thank you, you're most welcome Okay, every Thursday we look back at Monday's episode Go through some of your stories and dilemmas, etc, etc You get to raise a topic of your own, don't you? Of course It's like loose women, except there's only one woman And she's keeping her things to herself Mum, instead of a jingle this week Can you describe your outfit like it's London Fashion Week? Hello, Shanthi Imagine we're on like a red carpet Yeah I'm here with Shanti Ranganathan.

0:36Shanti, could you describe what you're wearing, who you're wearing today? I'm wearing a trousers and shirt. Brilliant.

0:46Excellent. I don't know the names of them. I imagine people listening have got it in their minds' eye. So, on.

1:07With me, Shanti. So on Monday's episode, we had one of your favourites. What's that? Jamie... Redknapp? Yes. Oh. Oh. Wow. Okay, so what do you think of Jamie Redknapp? What do I think of him? Yeah. Very friendly. Yeah. Good looking. Yeah. Out of 10? Yeah, of course, 10. 10. for sort of... He's very friendly. The friendly thing I like. Yeah. Do you think he's sexy? That I won't say sexy or not. Okay. Leave it to his girlfriend. Yeah. Wife. Do you think he's sexy? Wife. He is sexy. Yeah. Okay. Well, you tried to steer the conversation. Let's have a listen. Hi, Jamie. I have met you so many times.

1:54You are the most handsome man in the whole wild world. If somebody came and come and stand in front of you and said, I fancy you. I'd like to have a date with you. How will you react? I'd love to know that. I might do it, but I'm old. Okay? Thank you. Jesus Christ. I did not expect the question to be a thirst trap. Can you explain yourself, please? What do you want me to explain? Well, thirsty. Do you know the term thirsty? I'd say that was quite a thirsty question. Thirsty question? Yeah. Like you were thirsty for a long, tall glass of Jamie Redknapp. And I'm going to drink deep. Do you know what I mean?

2:44Because of my age, I don't fancy him. But if you were younger, you'd smash. If I was so many years younger. How many years younger? Because he's 50. If I'm 30, 40 years younger. You were 30, 40 years younger. I can't work it out. why don't you just stick to younger? You're asking numbers, okay? Yeah, but I'm asking, in what age would you have to be? If I was 21. If you were 21, you'd go for 50-year-old Jamie Redknapp? If he was 24. If he was 24. At that time. Okay. So the answer to that question is, if you were 46, you would smash Jamie Redknapp? Why not? Yeah, I will. Good. I will say something else.

3:32What would he say? But it's rude. Okay, go on, tell me. As long as it's the size of it.

3:50Oh, my God.

3:54Okay. We talk about a shanty topic every week. Okay. So what's your topic? I really am struggling to get past that. I'm not often thrown off kilter. You ask me the stupid question. You've got a stupid answer. Okay. All right. So every week, mum, you bring a topic for us to discuss. Yeah. I don't know what it is until we do it. What have you got for us this week? Ah. Okay. My cousin's wedding. Ah, this is a... Yeah. Right. Because every week, it can't be why you're not seeing me enough. That can't be the theme. I don't see you, Romain. I know, I know, but I'll say it. You're doing the direct opposite.

4:35I'm saying that can't be the theme. Right. I had my relations wedding. Yes. My mother's brother's daughter's daughter. Your mother's brother's daughter. My cousin's daughter. Your cousin's daughter. Your mother's brother's brother's daughter. My mum. Your mother's brother's brother's daughter. Daughter's daughter. Isn't your mother's brother's brother also your mother's brother? Why don't you shut the fuck up?

5:06I don't have any family. I don't have any siblings. No, no. Straight, my siblings. You don't have a straight family. If I had no siblings. No siblings. Right. So you know I don't have any siblings. You're an only child. Only child. Right. I asked you to come for the wedding. They invited, gave you a card and they posted it. I gave it to you. I can't come. Yeah. What's wrong with that? Why can't you come? Why don't you accompany me? And Dinesh, no, I can't. Dinesh, I can't speak for. I've got to be honest with you. Why you didn't come? If Lisa, some relations, got a wedding, they invited you. I'd have gone straight away.

5:46She wouldn't have to ask me. I'm there. Definitely you would have gone. Guest of honour. Yes, please. There? This side, fuck off. Took quite someone. No, mum, I couldn't go. I told you straight away I couldn't go. Do you know why? Why? You know why? Radio show. Yeah. And it was Radio 2 in the Park that week. It's a kind of respect. You could have said, Mum, soon after the radio show, I'll come there and I'll meet you. Do you want to know what time I got back? No. 10. Why? Because I was at Radio 2 in the Park. What? Radio 2 in the Park. The clue's in the name. It's Radio 2, but in a park. No, I'm just joking.

6:24It's Radio 2 in the Park. It's like their big festival. So I had to be there. What did you do? Geek? No, I didn't do gigs. Or just fanning somebody. Why were you there then? What important thing? I did a three-hour radio show. Yeah. Two hours, two hours. No, three hours. It's 10 till 1 every week. Okay. Then I did two hours hosting live on the iPlayer. Then I did a DJ set. Then I did social media and press.

6:55And the first question said, how is it to be here? I said, I'm absolutely gutted. You could have joined for... I was actually gutted to be here because I can't be at a wedding. It was very important to me. Reception. I wouldn't have got there till 10, 13, 11 o 'clock at night. What time did you leave there? I left early. Yeah, okay. So I would have turned up there and you're not there. So that would have been cool. Anyway, you clearly told me I'm not gutted. Yeah. In future, if Lisa, somebody get married, if you go, I will haunt you for the rest of my life. Okay. What if you're not dead? How do you haunt somebody for the rest of your life?

7:29That's why I put two together and said... You'll haunt me for the rest of your life. Rest of your life. Let me tell you something. Your life is incompatible with haunting. Even if I'm alive, I haunt you. Right. Anyway, the point is I couldn't make it. But if Lisa's family were getting married... You would have gone. No, because otherwise you won't get horse riding. for people that aren't regular listeners which i'm assuming you are that is a callback to one of mum's discussions about sexual positions one of which is for some reason she calls horse riding i don't know who's inside who anyway the point is i could i i would i if i had radio two in the park and the radio show i wouldn't have gone to lisa's relatives thing either if i can't make it lisa would be very cheap she wouldn't do this by the way if I said to Lisa I can't make it she'd go okay she wouldn't go oh my god I will haunt you mainly because she can't do that accent but the point is she wouldn't start getting angry about it she'd be like okay it would be very chilled she wouldn't be bothered you know what I mean you when Lisa's friends invite you you don't know them you go there and sit there when have I done that you told me When?

8:53I haven't written the date. If Lisa's friends invited me to something and I had Radio 2 in the park, I would not go. Ah, right. You're telling the truth, no? Yeah. Okay. I'm not going to go. How is Radio 2 going to go? I can't make it. Lisa's got some friends around. It doesn't work, does it? Wasn't Martin DJing there on that? So couldn't he have done? No? No, forget that. Thanks for your interjection, but no, he couldn't have done. He's lying, Ben. I know he's lying. Do you want Martin to also host the iPlayer for two hours and do the three-hour radio show and do the press and PR for my radio show?

9:28Do you want Martin to do that? He's very charming. So I was standing at the wedding like I don't have family. I know, it was a nightmare. You had to go there in the car that I booked for you. Was it horrible getting out of the car with the chauffeur? Did he get you a chauffeur? Yes, I did. That's nice. Yeah, but I'm a prick. Even to ask, can I book a car? I'm shivering. What the hell is he going to say? Can I tell you what I said? She's shivering. She's shivering. A quivering wreck. Shall I say how the text went? Can I book a car? How do I get to this wedding? Don't worry, mum. I'll book you a car.

10:04Oh, you must have been quaking in your bush.

10:09Anyway, right. I'll have them wait outside for you so you can leave whenever you like. Oh, my God, frightening. So there you go. I have got another one. Thank you.

10:49Okay, let's do some audience interaction. This is where listeners and viewers get in touch with some of their queries, stories, or just general anecdotes for us to peruse over. Ben, what's first up? It's a surprise every time to you, this, isn't it?

11:10We've got a voice note. A what's voice? Play it in, bitch. our family has a weird christmas tradition where one night my dad went for a wee before he went to bed but he didn't flush it by accident and then i was about five years old and i came downstairs in the morning went for a wee and saw there was wee in the toilet and was screaming oh oh my gosh, Father Christmas did a wee in the toilet. And then ever since then, my dad wheezes on Christmas Eve and leaves it in the toilet for us to find in the morning. And I am now 18 and my sister is 16. That's so sad. What do you mean sad? We're going to go, oh, Merry Christmas.

12:03Let's go downstairs and gather around the Christmas piss. No, Ramesh Why was she She got up Middle of the night Yeah Why would he check the wee Yeah No, she didn't check the wee Maybe he got a different colour wee No, she didn't check the wee She went to the toilet There was already wee in there He'd weed And by the way If wee don't have visitors I don't ever flush after a wee There you go I said it Why? Yeah Saving money? Not saving money But it's just a waste of water, isn't it? What about your family? Well, I mean I don't want to let people Behind the curtain and we've got five toilets in our house.

12:39God, I forbid you.

12:44So, you know. So one toilet is just for you to piss in and leave it, so you don't have to bother flushing it. I thought, if it's yellow, let it mellow, it's brown, flush it down. I thought that's how everybody lived. That's the impression I was under. If you've not got visitors, admittedly, if you've got visitors, then yeah, flush after a week. I don't... The other thing is, I would say, can I just say as a little aside, if you if you shit in the downstairs toilet you're a psychopath if you've got a downstairs toilet and you crap in it you're a fucking animal I'm sorry that's just my belief why?

13:17it's what the fuck are you doing there's an upstairs toilet upstairs is for shitting downstairs is for weeing and do you not think? that's what I think yeah I like to keep that downstairs toilet clean I think it should be pure I had a visitor crap in the downstairs toilet who was there? I don't want to talk about I don't want to shut up just describe Then I can't work it out. No.

13:40Did I ever tell you what happened when we came? Yeah. In fact, let me tell mum and see what mum's reaction, because I've not told this story to mum before. So do you know when Lisa and I renewed our wedding vows? Yes. So Ben and Georgie stayed around that night. Yeah, I know. And they stayed in the spare room, which has its own en suite. Okay. They both got so pissed. they stumbled up to bed just for context we hadn't really had a night out in so many because we've got young kids poor Georgie, poor me what will you do, will you add the violin in in post? and then we didn't know it was a wedding nobody did, it was a surprise nobody did but we were staying, so we wouldn't have stayed we didn't realise you were getting married or renewed or whatever you want to call that Yeah.

14:31But like, so we came quite casually thinking we were coming for a barbecue. And there was a huge like marquee in the back. There was like Jamie Redknapp was there, which is great. I love that. No, he wasn't booked as entertainment. He was a guest. Catherine Ryan was there. As a guest. Guest. Sean Walsh was there. As a guest. Yeah. So it was like a celebrity do. It wasn't a celebrity do. It was. It was like a sponcy like thing. Sponcy? I wasn't really. We just had our kids and our, you know, jeans and stuff. But then we got into it, didn't we? Everybody was in jeans. I don't know what you're talking about.

15:00No, you were smart. Lisa was incredible. Because I was renewing my vows. Yeah. But we had a couple... So the kids... We put the kids to sleep in the bedroom. And so then we... Then they had espresso martinis. And we had... At that point, you knew we'd got... We'd renewed our vows. Yeah, yeah. At the point where the espresso martinis came around. Yeah, so then we basically got drunk. And I stumbled upstairs into the en suite bathroom. And I'll tell you what's in the en suite bathroom. A toilet, a sink, and a shower. So I was quite sick. and I managed to block the sink. Okay. He chundered and chundered and chundered.

15:35And then this is the worst bit, I think. Okay. Ben? Well, I had to, because I knew it's a new house and it was all lovely and clean. Yeah. I didn't know what to do. I panicked because it had blocked the sink. Yeah. He was too drunk to use his hands. You did it like a baby bird, didn't you? Just... And you sped it into the toilet. Is that too much? No. No, I did use my hands. I used my... I double scooped. And put it in the toilet. And then flipped it into the toilet. Like scoop, scoop. Yeah, yeah. And then... And then didn't tell me until they'd left. Anyway, it's only a drink, isn't it? What?

16:12Yeah, exactly. It was not... But how do you know it's filled with rubbish? Vomit. Vomit, yeah. What do you think of that? Your loved Ben. He's your friend. Why not? Do you flush the toilet every time you take away? In the daytime, yes, but not a night. Will? Yeah, not a night, I'm assuming. Ben? Yeah, no, not a night. Okay. Next question, please. Hey, Ramesh and Shanti. Hello. Who would win in a fight? Sonic the Hedgehog or Mr Bean? Explain your logic. Is this real? That's a real one. Hedgehog and what? Sonic the Hedgehog. Sonic the Hedgehog and? Sonic the Hedgehog and Mr Bean. Mr Bean. God. So first of all, do you know who those people are?

17:03Yeah. Sonic the Hedgehog. This is really making me very nostalgic for the piss question. Sonic the Hedgehog, you know who that is, don't you? Hedgehog, isn't it? Sonic the Hedgehog, the blue hedgehog. Yeah. You know who that is? No. Sonic the Hedgehog, the video game character. Ah, right. Okay. Shall I show you a picture? Yes, please. Mr Bean. Mr Bean, is it? Yeah, you know Mr Bean, right? Of course. I mean, I don't know what logic to apply to this, really. Well, Sonic's fast, isn't he? Yeah. So that idiot who asked that question. Not an idiot, Mum. These are people that listen to the show. Okay.

17:40All right. Okay. It's too unfair. Now go on. What kind of question is this? Of course he knows the answer. How? What's the answer then? That video game character. Hedgehog. Why will he win? They're fast, aren't they? Mr Bean, by the time he does all this, he'll fail. When has Mr Bean done all that?

18:09That's how he acts. Do you remember how he talks? No, I can't do it. Vain. Mr Bean, yeah. Vain. And do all this. Yeah.

18:27how can he meet yeah I think who is it did they leave a name didn't leave a name I think it's Sonic the Hedgehog Mr Bean's not going to get anywhere near him no by the time he adjusts his skeleton and move he won't do it but Mr Bean's the sort of person that would set up some sort of elaborate trap he's sort of like the human version of Wile E. Coyote isn't he do you know what I mean he might do a plan I'll get you now Hedgehog

18:56do you know what I mean we're actually trying to book Ron Atkinson oh yeah well show him this clip clip it up it's the maddest impression that Mr. Boone I've ever seen can we see it one more time yeah one more time mum Mr. Boone

19:13time now for more questions on the edge from Santander in this section ask mum a question relating to one of the benefits of the Santander edge credit card this week's questions about security is with the Santander Edge credit card, you can block your card instantly using the app if you spot a suspicious payment. Mum, who in the family, including children, relatives, who would you trust least to keep something safe? Least. My both sons. Least. Least, okay. Why? If I say, they'll get upset. They? One of them upset you? Yeah. Go for it. You? Me? You trust me least? Yeah. Least? Why? Because you're Mr.

19:54Forgetful. And you lost so many of my things. Yeah. And you leave the charger in the hotel. Yeah. That's true. If I give you something valuable, you will lose it. Yeah. What about secret? Secret, I thought I could tell you and you will keep it. But you don't. You have discussed with Dinesh. What? things I say to you. You know, mum said, it's come to me. So, I don't trust you either. Well, what we discovered here is Dinesh is a piece of... LAUGHTER OK, mum, how do we always like to end the segment? Pay smarter with a Santander Edge credit card. Yes. Pay smarter with a Santander Edge credit card.

20:45Pay smarter with a Santander credit card. Edge. Pay smarter with a Santander Edge credit card. Pay smarter with Santander Edge credit card. OK. 37.8 % APR representative variable. Monthly fees are pie credits subject to status and eligibility. T's and C's apply. Visit Santander's website for more details. You always get that slightly wrong. Do you know that? You always say monthly fees apply and it's monthly fee applies. I think you also said a pie.

21:19Right. Thank you so much. That is it for this week's Thursday episode. Thank you so much for listening. Mum, you say something about how much you love the stories and questions, please. I enjoyed all the questions at which you have asked. I love you all. Ask more questions. We are here to answer happily. We'll be back Monday. Sorry, I didn't realize. Wish you all the best. Wish you all the best. We'll be back Monday with another brilliant guest. thanks again to Santander thanks to you lot for putting up with my mum yeah thanks a lot for putting up with my mum no I mean why were I putting up it was in the script thanks a lot mum and thank you to Quokka for increasing the cost of my mum's kitchen bye do you want to say bye mum bye bye everybody love you all if you've enjoyed this episode of the Romesh Ranganathan show make sure you follow wherever you get your podcasts Apple, Spotify, YouTube all the big ones and you can enjoy more great content like this and in fact i'll go further to say even if you didn't enjoy this episode just follow anyway for shits and giggles and if you've got an interesting story or a question for my mum and i or even like a family dilemma you'd like us to help you with please do get in touch via our email address podcast at rangaby.com or you can voice note or text on this number 07731 623355 i'm ramesh rang and athan and this has been the Ramesh Rang and Nathan Shai.

22:44What a narcissist. See you next time. Oh, shut up, Ramesh.