Shanthi’s Birthday Special

17:43Everything.

17:44Romesh Ranganathan:Can I tell you what you're buzzing about, the fortnightly visit? Yeah, it is. Why not disco ball for a head? For a head. No, thank you. Do you know what a disco ball is? Yeah, the glitter ball. Yeah, so your head would be that. No. Why not? But you still have the same features. No, thank you. It's so cool. Is it? What? I think you're quite sick. But anyway, you'd rather party pop for a nose. I actually agree with you. Okay, next one. Birthday balloons. Would you rather inflate like a balloon when complimented or deflate when ignored? The compliment I need. But you'd inflate like a balloon? Yeah.

18:21Romesh Ranganathan:When I compliment you? Yeah. So I'd be going to your mum, you look so beautiful. Yeah, yeah. Thank you so much, darling. You're so lovely. And then you start inflating. Yeah, yeah. You'd rather that? Yeah. Okay. Don, what would you rather? I think I would rather deflate when ignored. but then what does ignored mean in that context um sort of how i am to you in the office when we're not doing this oh yeah so deflate yeah yeah next question what about you ben what was the question who cares will inflate when complimented yeah because it won't affect you okay so i'd probably i'd inflate sorry i'd inflate we're moving on to the next question mom would you Thanks for the time.

19:03Romesh Ranganathan:Pardon? Nothing. Did you want to say something? No, no. Thanks for the time. Did you want to say something? No, no, fine. Carry on. Number five. Got more of these to get through. It was the last one, actually. Okay. Mum, would you rather have feet that squeak like balloons whenever you walk or produce bubbles when you yawn? I think I'd rather have the feet, the squeak. The squeaky balloons. Yeah, squeaky balloons. But you don't yawn that often, do you? No. No, that's true. Oh, yeah. So maybe you should go for the bubbles. Bubbles, eh? Okay. You're easily swayed. All right, well, that was a fun game.

19:38Romesh Ranganathan:That was Shanti's birthday, Would You Rather? Yes, lovely. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. On Monday, we had a musician that I love, Thundercat. Mum, do you know Thundercat? Thundercat, I heard about it, but I can't picture him. Well, that's great news because we've actually got a couple of pictures for you. Ah. Oh, fucking hell. Can we crop me out of that? Anyway, that's us sat next to each other. Yeah. I mean, we bought him that hat. So the most... I've got to be honest with you. I don't know what this is proving. You don't look good in there. Oh. The hat doesn't suit you. It's a bean hat.

20:18Romesh Ranganathan:You're right, Will. It's a bean hat. You couldn't really see what he was wearing, could you? Do you know what I mean? He sort of looked like he's in black. And the hat we gave him, he said he really liked that hat, Mum. and then we found it in the toilet. He's a liar then. Well, make of that what you want. Then why do you say that he likes the hat? Why did you select that hat? They wear different type of hats, isn't it? Who's they? The singer, the rapper. Thundercat. Thundercat. Thundercat, he likes that kind of Japanese-y kind of culture stuff. And so we thought it would be a good present. He said he loved it.

20:53And he wore it for the whole episode.

20:54Romesh Ranganathan:Wore it for the whole episode. That's all we need. and said it's not all about content we want him to actually enjoy the present and then he went to the toilet and he left it in there it's a mistake pure mistake I don't think it is a mistake I think he hated it is it? well if you if somebody gives you something you really like yeah it's sticky in your head right you remember to take it if somebody gives something you don't give a shit about then it isn't you know so anyway Thundercat I'm sorry you didn't like the hat sorry we'll get you another one we'll get you another one No, I don't think he wants another one.

21:29Romesh Ranganathan:I'll get him one. No, no, he doesn't want another one. No? That's why he left it in the toilet. Okay. Okay. Thank you for your messages and voice notes, by the way. We love our listeners and viewers, don't we, Mum? Of course we do. Yeah. Of course. You are brilliant and we appreciate you. Can you, like, it's your birthday. Do you want to give them, like, a really sweet, heartfelt message to everybody that messages in? Hi, everyone. Thank you for listening to us and listening to our podcast. and you're wonderful. The questions you put in, I really enjoy because I don't mind talking about what I went through.

22:03If it is helpful, I love to mention that once in a way. And I love you all so much. We love you all so much. And thank you so much.

22:15Romesh Ranganathan:Good health and thank you so much. Now you can always text or WhatsApp us on 07731 623 355 or you can email podcast at khangabi.com. That is podcast at khangabi.com. Now, our first question comes from not that far from our house. Surrey from Natalie. Natalie from Surrey. Hi, Romesh. Hi, Shanti. It's Natalie from Surrey. Hi, Natalie. Shanti, you're an absolute queen. You're hilarious. I love you so much. Thank you. My dilemma is I'm about to celebrate a big birthday and I totally understand your feelings about not wanting to share your age. I don't know if it's a female thing, if it's because I'm single at this age.

22:59Anyway, the thing is, my friends have kindly, very kindly, arranged a birthday day and outing for me on Saturday. And I know we're starting off at a bottomless brunch, but the rest is a complete surprise. What I need you two to tell me, am I wrong in not really looking forward to it?

23:18Romesh Ranganathan:because I know there will be age banners, sashes, badges, crowns and all that broadcasting my age. Let me know if I'm just being miserable. Appreciate your advice. Keep up the great work. Bye. Okay. Thank you, Natalie, for email. Congratulations on your 50th. What do you think? What do you think? That would be everyone's guess, wouldn't it? She's got quite a youthful voice. I'd say 40. Could be 40 or 50. Okay. No, Natalie, thank you so much for your message. Mum, how do you feel about birthdays? You're wearing a sash and a tiara. So, what's that? Those days, I don't like to celebrate my birthdays because they will ask my age and everything.

24:05But I have noticed, Natalie, don't worry, darling. They will forget the following year, okay? We are celebrating your birthday, that you are worried, that they are going to find out your real age. Don't worry about it. Within two years, all of them would have forgotten your age. But me, I grew up alone. Everything's secret. I don't like to, I didn't share anything with my siblings. I didn't have siblings. So that's why I behave like that. But you tell the real age and enjoy. You are still young. So I wish you all the best. I love you.

24:39Romesh Ranganathan:I love you. I do love Natalie. She's struggling. they are going to celebrate her birthday they're nervous and what people are going to see sure sure don't worry about the people Natalie yeah yeah yeah go on no I'm not going to say anything no I thought you thought you were Natalie for a second it's just I said Natalie and you went yeah do you understand where the confusion came from of course I do yeah Natalie happy birthday I'm 48 years old and I fucking hate birthdays really because like because like you sort of it's just a reminder of like you're sort of ticking on and labels get put on people there's certain expectations of people because of what age they are and uh and so it's annoying but actually i've slightly kind of got to get over it because if you think of if you take the age thing and put it to one side actually it's quite nice everybody kind of gives you presents you get together with your friends and family you have a nice day all of that is cool the only bit that's stopping you from enjoying it is the age stuff so i think you know there's you've got a couple of options one is to just accept that you are the age you are and age is just a number and you can behave and do whatever you want and the pressure that you're feeling about being single is an expectation you're putting on yourself you don't need to worry about that you know we are we're all walking different paths and we're all at different stages in our life depending on what we've decided to do so you kind of want to liberate yourself from those expectations and just have a really nice day that's one option the other option is to say to your friends it i really want to celebrate and i'm really looking forward to seeing you all but is it possible that we can't make a bit we don't make a big thing about the actual number and sort of you know most of the time those conversations are easier to have than you think they're going to be you know like you just say to your friends actually what would help me enjoy this because the reason your friends and family are doing it and they're not doing it to remind you of your age and make you feel shit.

26:41Romesh Ranganathan:They're doing it because they care about you. So if you then say to them, I'd like, if we did this, it would make it even better, they'll probably, they'll do it for you. Do you know what I mean? So it's just that thing of sometimes it's just thinking about what is the thing that's stopping me from really, really enjoying this and then taking steps to get rid of that thing. But I hope you have a wonderful, wonderful birthday. happy 30th yeah okay should we have another question yes happy birthday mum thank you so much hey romish and shanti um love every time when you do thursdays especially um when you're speaking to this lovely lady opposite you um just a question for shanti What the fuck's going on here?

27:36Romesh Ranganathan:You know, I don't think we need to go on Raya. T, if you had to pick anything that Romesh has done, like League of Their Own, this podcast, his theatre book, his amazing modern career, you can imagine him thinking, what? um anything um what would be the best or the the most thing that you'd be proud of for him um that you can think of it can't it doesn't have to be what i've suggested it can be anything else but um but yeah and the same question goes to you rom about your mum what you what you're most proud of the about um and yeah um hope you'll have a good day and look forward to hearing your answers um big love um oh connor yeah you know people don't realize about voice notes they're very difficult to end you know it's very difficult to know how to finish them yeah and that's i think connor uh came unstuck there it's difficult isn't it you know when you do like when you record a whatsapp voice note and you're sort of going anyway so that's the what i wanted to say and uh i don't think you've ever sent me a voice note have you i have when what you know you haven't when you're flying and you send me a voice note and i replied oh okay um mom what is the thing that i've done that you're the most proud that you like the most i'm proud of that you walked on that remember what is it called League of Their Own walked on oh on League of Their Own the leap of faith I was nervous you can do it for a few times you can do it sorry I was shouting you can do it Ramesh come on so I was nervous and you were shaking but you finished so the leap of faith on League of Their Own leap of faith what was that so it was so you know we had the the games at the end of the show yeah and then when I was a regular on league of their own yeah they had this like it'd be like this obstacle course you'd climb over like a glass sort of fence thing you'd walk along these wobbly platforms and then you have to jump from thing but then they'd lift the whole thing to the top of the studio and then when I was a regular on it I failed at it I think three times like I messed up three times and then when I was hosting they It said, we brought back Leap of Faith, even though you're hosting, we want you to put the wrong, the rights, right the wrongs and do this.

30:13Romesh Ranganathan:And so I did it. But in all truth, I can, you know, League of Their Own is finished now. They told me beforehand they'd made it a lot easier. What do you mean? It looked the same. They deliberately made it easier. I know. But they wanted me to do it. So they made it easier. Made it easier. What does it mean? The obstacles were easier. No, I thought it's the same. I know you thought it, but I'm telling you, I did it easier. it's the magic of television

30:40Romesh Ranganathan:and Connor it asks you a question what am I most proud of that mum's done she's done very little that doesn't involve me so nothing

30:53Romesh Ranganathan:what thing do I think I'm most proud of I think probably the thing that I think you've done is the funniest was your advice on how to educate babies

31:06Romesh Ranganathan:that's probably the thing that i think is the best thing about that film we watched what film meet the fucker okay let's get so so hold on no hold on hold on a second how old was that baby no let's just we need to contextualize this for the benefit of the the you laughed at me but you saw it in the film so what does he mean okay hold just can we just to explain mum we have to explain to people what we're talking about so anyway so you said teach the babies what is it the presidents of the united states what was the other thing that all of the capital cities all of the capital cities yeah is this about war as well yeah there's wars there's wars and donald trump and fruits and fruits yeah so mum said that Then we're watching Meet the Fockers.

31:55Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. And Robert De Niro's character, Jack, in Meet the Fockers, his grandson, he's teaching basic sign language to him. So he goes like this for hungry. Hungry. Anyway, watching the film, as that baby appears, mum goes, I told you. I told you. What did I say? What did I say? You laughed. Look, first of all, mum, it's a fucking comedy film, right? He's taught the cat to use the fucking toilet and flush it. Yeah. and also that baby are you trying to say he said asshole is that AI I'm not saying it's AI then how did she say it mum tell me which bit in meet the focus did he name all of the presidents that's a different thing I gave you an example right example yeah but it's actually happening in the film in a fictional film mum gosh and not the same thing it's like going up You can train the children.

32:52Romesh Ranganathan:To know all of the capitals of all the countries. Indian children, they do. All the numbers, all the timetables. Indian babies know all the numbers, you're right. You are saying it wrong. Okay. Tell me, word exactly. You know, for Asians, they push the children to study hard. Yeah. So they start teaching them from little age. Fine. But that's different to what you're saying, isn't it? You can get them to say it. Say what? Cat can talk Why can't the little one talk What cat What cat can talk Cold Cold Cold He goes What I have seen it What are you talking about They stand like that Yeah Cold And you put them in the snow What are you talking about mum What cat goes Cold I have seen it In what Huh In what In TikTok No, they're cold, cold, cold They're cold They say it's cold Mum, mum, fucking hell You need to get off TikTok, man You see?

33:57Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah No, I won't There's not a cat that's gone Oh, fucking hell, it's cold When you throw it out in the snow No, no, F word Okay, fine Cold Are you sure it's not just making a noise That sounds like the word cold? Sounds like, because he's trying He's trying, that's the way you think It's not trying to say cold is making an animal noise that sounds like coal. One cat called the lady nearly fainted. She said, Mommy. Like that. They can talk if you teach them. You can. They can talk. I'll get a clip and I'll send it to you. How much of this are we allowed to show without there being an intervention?

34:34Romesh Ranganathan:Genuine question now. Because it's funny up until the point. It's funny until it isn't. Are you taking me for a ride? Yes. Yeah, I am. I'm taking for a ride to sanity. Cats are not learning to speak. They can't speak. It's not that far-fetched, is it? There you are. There you are. Like, parrots can speak. You don't have a damn cat. I had cat at Macomb. Ben, when is it that you thought you jumped the shark in terms of defending mum? Huh? Now you're a fucking enabler, bro. A parrot mimics, right? What was he saying? It's like... Okay, but mum just said the cat is trying to say the word cold. Express itself.

35:19Romesh Ranganathan:That's not what a parrot's doing. What's the parrot doing? No, a parrot's just... Parrot's copy your language. Copy. Maybe the cat saw other people in the snow. Yeah, because everybody jumps in the snow and goes, cold, cold, cold. What the fuck are you on about? He goes, cool. This is mental. You're enabling now, man. It's actually dangerous what you're doing. You're encouraging this fucking misconception. Are you calling your mother misconception? Yes, misconception. That's what the sash is for. It's a new remake of Miss Congeniality. It's called Misconception. She sits there with a sash and a crown and she gets everything fucking wrong.

35:58Romesh Ranganathan:The cat's talking. I'll send it to you. I'd like to see the clip. Oh, yeah, yeah. So many cats, they can talk. Why? You only see your two dogs. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present you your misconception. I think cats can talk. Misconception. Babies can all of the captains of all the countries. Misconception. Why are you getting so angry now? I'm not angry. Oh, okay. This face is terrifying. Yeah. Okay. Will, I found something that might be worth looking at. We're not sure. Oh, shit. So they found the video. I'm fine. No! Oh, let's go back, let's go back. I'm pain. Yeah? Holy shit! I'm pain. Oh shit!

36:47There you are. I'm pain. I'm pain. You're fine. No! No! I'm pain. I'm pain. Yahoo! Oh my God! I'm pain. I'm pain. Yeah? I'm pain. You're fine. No! No!

37:12Romesh Ranganathan:should we go to the next question fuck me in the eyes and ears and mouth hi Ramesh and Shanti my name's Maya I just wanted to say I absolutely love your relationship and listening to you both on the podcast you absolutely crack me up so I was wondering how did your family celebrate birthdays when Ramesh was a child did you have any memorable birthday parties. I'm a 90s baby and for my fifth birthday my mum made me a Titanic themed cake of a sinking ship so I guess you could say that she believed in setting realistic expectations early Anyways, Shantio, wish you a very happy birthday in advance and Ramesh, I'm really looking forward to seeing you on tour in London next year Look forward to seeing you too Here's the Titanic cake She tried It looks fine

38:06you know it takes a lot of time yeah to i said and i i appreciate that yeah but she give it a

38:13Romesh Ranganathan:try but it looks like you think it's shit don't you i won't say shit but you don't think it's good it's good it's good yeah yeah yeah you can't say it's a ship that's the main thing yeah but you couldn't say it's a titanic if somebody showed you that and said name the ship i won't say unless they have written it there. Yeah. If you write it, yeah, I think that's often a big clue. If it's labelled, I can often tell what it is. Yeah, yeah. If that cake said, this is the Titanic, I would know that's a Titanic. That's a fair point. But you have to appreciate the time and things that she... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

38:46Sure, sure, sure.

38:46Romesh Ranganathan:Now, actually, we should give credit where credit's due. Yeah. You did some great cakes for me. There you are. Thank you, Mark. Now, you went to cake decorating classes, didn't you? Yes, I did. And then, Mum, this is genuinely true. This is like, I think this is next level mumming, by the way. Mum made me a public enemy cake. Yeah, I did. I did. I don't know how I did it, but I went for a lesson. Public enemy cake. Enemy cake. With the logo and the proper font and all that. It was great. So much of a loser I was. Public enemy birthday cake. Is that cool or loser? I can't figure it out. I think that's cool.

39:23Romesh Ranganathan:That's cool. Yeah, so thanks, Mum. That was good. You're welcome, man. Dinesh did me an Onyx cake once. Yeah, he did. The Pokemon. No, the 90s rap group. Jemba. Slam! Da-da-da. Da-da-da. You know that? Okay. What did you think of Titanic, mom, the film? I, it's, what goes into my mind, you all producers and work with the films and things like that. Never mind. Let me say what I wanted to say. Don't interrupt. For God's sake. Okay? They were filming and they spent so much time going down to see the Titanic. How come those five guys went to the Titanic and died? Why? Jesus Christ. I'm asking you.

40:19Romesh Ranganathan:I love the film. What did you think of the film Titanic? Fantastic. but I saw how they filmed it. Right, how did they film it? Bit by bit they were showing. Yeah. And inside, it's not the... Do you think there was enough room on the door for both of them at the end? No. Do you know the bit that always sticks in my mind of Titanic? Do you know when the ship goes in half like that? Yeah, yeah. And then one of the people falls down and hits the propeller? Yeah, yeah. It's horrendous like that. They've done it beautifully. How many times the producer or the... they would have gone down and never died?

40:54this is but I love the film I love the film I don't think I don't think you know

40:59Romesh Ranganathan:how the film was made what do you mean how many times the producer would have gone down to check it how to film I'm trying to say those guys they were going down there go down where where the Titanic was the Titanic the film the Titanic was not filmed where the actual Titanic sank you know that right that I know oh okay so what's the question you're asking How clever are those producers? That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm trying to say. That's the conclusion. I think to come to Shanti's defence. Oh, quelle surprise! I think James Cameron famously did go down to the Titanic in real life quite a few times to observe it.

41:40Romesh Ranganathan:I think that's a fact. How come? I think that's maybe what you're... Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Yeah, no, that's definitely what she's thinking. She's thinking about James Cameron's expedition. Those five millionaires went there. Billionaires. Millionaires. Yeah. Okay. And died. Yeah. They went in that thing. Yeah. But Cameron, that was a separate point. But in mum's defence. That's a separate point. Yeah. Have we got another one? No, I think that's it. That's it. That's it. Okay, great. What a way to go out. Happy birthday. Yeah, happy birthday. Thank you so much. Thanks for doing it. Shall we all sing it together?

42:14Oh.

42:17Romesh Ranganathan:Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you Happy birthday dear Shanti Sivashantani Happy birthday to you Thank you so much Thank you That's it for the rubbish wranglet Oh no, sorry You better close it out Because it's your episode Hi everyone Thank you so much I love to hear from you and wish you all the best and please text us or send email. We love to read everything and give you the reply. Thank you so much. See you next time. Chew an anal ring, motherfuckers. Oh, no. You said that. I had Romsbeth. Horrible. Fuck you. You always think about your anal.

43:11Romesh Ranganathan:Thank you so much for watching this episode of the Romsbeth and Nathan show. I've been told that some of you are watching this, enjoying it, wallowing in it, but you still haven't subscribed. That's mad behaviour. You're going to miss episodes. Very silly. So follow and subscribe to the Romesh Ranganathan show on YouTube, Spotify, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. We drop new episodes every Monday and Thursday. On Monday, I'm here with amazing guests talking about their career, what they're up to, having a laugh with them. And then on Thursdays, I'm joined by my mum, widely regarded as the audience's favourite Ranganathan.

43:41Romesh Ranganathan:And we answer your questions, your stories, and your family dilemmas. We'll be back on Monday with another great guest. and then mum will see you again on Thursday. Send your questions and stories to podcast at rangaby.com voice note or text on 07731 623 355. We genuinely love hearing from you and there's a good chance you'll hear yourself on the show. See you next time. Oh, shut up, Romesh.