In short
Romesh Ranganathan’s Thursday show with his mother Shanthi Ranganathan. They banter about hair curlers, “Sunday dread,” gardening and astroturf (including dog/cat shitting issues), TikTok shopping (mouthwash order stolen), probiotics/fibre and Sri Lankan castor-oil worm stories, and listener questions. Main dilemma: whether sleepovers are bad.
Guests/backgrounds
Shanthi Ranganathan is Romesh’s mother; the “team” are off-camera crew members. Listener callers include Danielle (Staines), Amy (Australia), and Will (single parent).
Key claims
Astroturf is practical but attracts animal mess; TikTok mouthwash works yet can be stolen; sleepovers can be fun but parents should vet other households; bestiality should not be encouraged.
Notable examples
“David Attenborough” mating joke; “ratemypoo.com” worm story; sleepover homesickness at age 9; neighbour cat shooing incident.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOFamily Banter and Stage Fright
0:45 to 2:35
Romesh and Shanthi engage in playful banter about looks and live shows.
“You talked about how much you liked my hair, Mr Narcissist.”
Hair Compliments and Makeup
2:35 to 3:32
The pair discusses Shanthi's hair and makeup habits, light-heartedly poking fun.
“I don't think that we can't quite see the...”
Mother-Son Morning Rituals
3:32 to 4:28
Romesh asks Shanthi about her daily routines and feelings, sparking a reflective conversation.
“and we try our best to answer a list of questions and dilemmas.”
AstroTurf and Gardening
4:28 to 7:01
Discussion about gardening preferences and the pros and cons of astro turf.
“You had these big cylinders in your hair.”
Annoyances with Neighbors
7:01 to 8:02
Romesh shares an amusing story about neighbor disputes over garden upkeep.
“Anyway, the point is my hair looks more like Ben's.”
Shanti's TikTok Shopping Experience
8:02 to 9:07
Shanthi humorously recounts her recent experiences with TikTok shopping.
“in my garden so I go and say thank you for today I'm awake barefoot barefoot yeah in the morning in the morning yeah so why did you have a go at me for saying in the morning I'm not having a go at it.”
TikTok Shopping and Mouthwash Mishaps
14:01 to 16:43
The hosts discuss the peculiarities of shopping on TikTok, particularly mouthwash, and the strange experiences that come with it.
“So that's the best thing to happen to you this week.”
Caribbean Music and Family Dynamics
16:43 to 19:40
A light-hearted conversation about music, cultural differences, and the relationship between the hosts and their mother.
“Does somebody start it from your doorstep or somebody thinks your breath stinks so much they left you one?”
Harry Hill and Comedy Styles
19:40 to 21:26
The hosts discuss comedian Harry Hill's unique style and how it contrasts with their own comedic approaches.
“When I see a man, I like to see the ass.”
Health and Probiotics Discussion
22:30 to 24:49
The hosts share their views on health supplements, particularly probiotics and dietary habits.
“I told you, you know, I always pray that I shouldn't, don't make me go to the loo during the day, wherever I go.”
Show all 16 chapters
Listener Questions and Dating Advice
24:49 to 28:00
The hosts respond to a listener's question about dating and give humorous insights into personal relationships.
“Yeah, because I used to eat a lot of sweets.”
Playful Banter About Looks
28:00 to 30:20
The hosts engage in a humorous discussion about each other's attractiveness.
“Have you ever watched David Attenborough's Planet Earth and seen two animals copulating and felt a tingle in your genitals?”
Fan's Compliment and Insecurity Discussion
30:20 to 31:40
A fan praises Romesh and discusses his physical insecurities and newfound status as a sex symbol.
“I've got nothing negative to say about him in that specific instance ok question 2 is Amy from Australia hello Romesh Shanti and team Amy here from Australia, massive fan.”
Discussion on Male Compliments
31:40 to 32:50
The hosts explore the difficulty men have in complimenting each other and discuss attraction.
“Look at me and tell you, do you think I'm sexy or not?”
Sleepover Dilemma from a Parent's Perspective
32:50 to 36:50
A father shares his concerns about sleepovers for his daughter and seeks advice.
“Amy, thank you so much for your message.”
Advice on Managing Sleepovers
36:50 to 38:00
Romesh and his mom discuss how to handle sleepovers and the importance of knowing other parents.
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Romesh Ranganathan:Do you think when you do this one you could do it without swearing at the audience and stuff? What do you mean? You just start quite punchy. Sure thing. Let me know when. Yeah, we're rolling. What's up? It's the Thursday edition of the Romesh Ranganathan show and in the studio I'm joined by my mother, the goat, Shanthi Ranganathan.
0:23Romesh Ranganathan:And the team who look like goats. That's horrible to say. yeah isn't horrible to look at no they all look so good and I don't know do you know where they look even better under a bridge god why do you say horrible things about everybody because they're horrible ugly fucks that's why if somebody tell you call you god you say hideous fucking creatures I feel like your hair is becoming more like mine you've started styling it it's got well it's interesting that it's quite a good insight into your personality because before we started rolling. You talked about how much you liked my hair, Mr Narcissist.
1:03Romesh Ranganathan:Shall I start whitening up as well? There's a clue. Ben's white.
1:11Romesh Ranganathan:People got very excited because I think we mentioned about the possibility of doing live shows. And then people are excited about the fact they'll actually see what you look like. You weren't that keen on us being on the stage. I think you'd have to be on the stage, wouldn't you? But what we did, I think it would be like in a box with a curtain. I don't think you should be seen. I think you should be like gorillas. I mean, you are like gorillas. But what I mean is the best. I'm not laughing, Romain. No, I know you're not. I don't think it's funny at all. Why do you not think it's funny? Somebody call you gorilla.
1:47How would you feel?
1:48Romesh Ranganathan:I said like gorillas. The same thing, isn't it? Okay. I'd feel really sad. I'll be calm. Otherwise, they will say, oh, she's looking for a man. Who said that? One of the comments. What did it say? She needs a man. She needs a man. Okay. Do you think you need a man? No, I don't. Would you like a man? No. If you were to choose one of these three men, who would it be? I'll take all of them. What are you going to say? Your teeth look so white. Why is that? What's going on here? I think he's getting compliments. That's nice. Yeah. That hoodie is like long, isn't it? Do you not like that? I don't like it.
2:26I don't like it. What is that called? It's like a Punjabi costume.
2:30Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah? You're like a Punjabi woman. Every Thursday we chat about... What's wrong with this hoodie length? It's deliberate. I don't think that we can't quite see the... It's an oversized, right? Yeah. But it's long. It's like, isn't oversized meant to be... It makes you look like you've got short legs. You've got a nice long body. Long body. Long body. That'd be such a great tune. long buddy man podcast with his mum three monsters in the corner them am I allowed to do that accent? I don't know
3:07Romesh Ranganathan:it's the Romance Rangar Nathan with me Shanti Pepsi prebiotic cola in original and cherry vanilla that Pepsi taste you love with just 30 calories and no artificial sweeteners. Pepsi Prebiotic Cola. Unbelievably Pepsi. Every Thursday, we chat about Monday's celebrity interview and we try our best to answer a list of questions and dilemmas. Mum, my question to you is, how are you? I'm fine, thank you. When you walked in, you didn't even say hello to me. When did you, what time did you come in here? 11.30. Yeah, so I was doing my makeup. Yeah, but you were over in the corner getting your makeup done.
3:52Yeah, you could have said, hi, mum.
3:54Romesh Ranganathan:I know, but I had to come straight in to do a meeting. Sorry. I'm saying hello to you. Also, I'm chatting to you now, aren't I? That's a different. It's a work. Okay. You didn't say hello to me, in fairness. Because if you don't say hello, why should I say hello? So if we all have that attitude, nobody will ever say hello to anyone. No, that's it. Okay, what do you mean? No, that's it. What I'm saying is that system doesn't work. Okay, okay. So neither of us said hello to each other. That's my fault. My fault as well. Ah. Ah. Fucking hell, that's a breakthrough. Only thing, the first compliment, what happened to your hair?
4:26Romesh Ranganathan:Because I was with the curlers. Yeah, you had curlers in. And by the way, it is looking so curly. What the fuck is the point of curlers? Your hair looks so straight. I looked across it. You had these big cylinders in your hair. Yeah. You were like fucking Nora Batty or whatever. And now... Topical. Yeah. And now, what is it? So what's the point of them? I don't know why you put the curler. Just straight there. The clue's in the name, isn't it? That's not curlers. What is that? It's a big curler, isn't it? Big curler. So straight... It's not a curler, it's a big curler. Thank you. What an idiot.
5:07Romesh Ranganathan:Who is Nora Batty? Nora Batty, Last of the Summer Wine. Is it Last of the Summer Wine? Oh, yeah. With the loose tights and everything. Yeah, compo. Okay, okay, okay. Oh. On this podcast, we're trying to get some younger listeners. And that'll help. some Last of the Summer Wine references that used to be on Sunday nights didn't it? Yeah. There's certain shows that I associate with the dread of Monday morning that's one of them Songs of Praise is another one yeah no offence to anybody religious but Antiques Roadshow I believe was on a Sunday yeah any time you hear those theme tunes you start to feel like the weekend's coming to an end do you know what I mean?
5:44Alright do you know what I'm talking about?
5:45Romesh Ranganathan:I know the program you're talking about yeah I know What I'm saying is, do you know about the, do you relate to the feeling of Sunday dread? Because I'm retired. Yeah. Doesn't make any difference. Sure. Monday to Sunday. Yeah. Sometimes I don't even know what day it is. I know. Yeah. Yeah. Did you ever fake being ill on Monday mornings? Many times. Many times. Even as a teacher. Lots of times. So you were teaching the future generation. Yeah. So you want to go ill. Yeah, correct. Why is that? Because I, work was becoming. I thought you are a good son and you are very religious and spiritual, but you shouldn't do things like that.
6:23I don't know if you got any of those three things wrong. So you don't pray now?
6:28Romesh Ranganathan:No, I don't pray really. What happened to the Ganpati I gave you? It's still there. You don't pray? It's in between the three BAFTAs. I'm joking. It's a joke. That was a joke. That was a joke. Sorry, that was a joke. I'm going to say now that was too far. You know, son, shall I tell you something? That was too far. we are hindus aren't we yeah we are hindus we have a prayer room yeah shrine room correct but in your house yeah you have a shrine room for the shoes how does it work
7:04Romesh Ranganathan:nicely put where's the gold that's not just for shoes how did you get here to the earth how what do you mean somebody I assume dad and you had a little bit of rum played some old Sri Lankan music and then you're like, oh, time for the bunte. And then you... That's my origin story, isn't it?
7:29Right, forget that. Anyway, the point is
7:31Romesh Ranganathan:my hair looks more like Ben's. Okay. How are you generally? I'm fine, thank you. I'm happy and doing my things. I'm still alive. Yeah. I'm walking around in the garden. I can't ask anything else how often are you walking around in the garden every single day have you heard about this thing about touching grass yeah barefoot you walk around that's what you're supposed to do first thing in the morning are you ached doing that no not first thing in the morning you're supposed to do it it's part of your morning ritual isn't it yeah I got God there in my garden so I go and say thank you for today I'm awake barefoot barefoot yeah in the morning in the morning yeah so why did you have a go at me for saying in the morning I'm not having a go at it.
8:14I'm calm now.
8:15Romesh Ranganathan:Okay. Okay? But in the morning, do you guys do this? No. I've got astroturf. Oh, God. So do you have to vacuum your garden? Oh, God. I find that so... That's also good. It's the grass. Yeah. Massage the bottom of your feet. Yeah, but okay. But let's just... Can we just talk about this? Yeah. Because at our old house, we had this plastic grass. First of all, the idea that it looks the same as normal grass, That's a fallacy, isn't it? I think it does. When you see it next to normal grass... I don't have... I know, but I'm just... Yeah, sure. But what I'm saying is it doesn't look the same. Secondly, you have to vacuum it, right?
8:55Romesh Ranganathan:You're meant to, yeah. The neighbours have complained about it. What do they say? It's not natural. I live in quite a sort of... Ask them to fuck off. Contributing too much plastic. If you live next to Ben Green, suck a dick. I just don't really get AstroTurf though. I don't get wide. Yeah. What made you do it? It's not AstroTurf though, is it? It's like, it's... Well, we don't know. It's fake grass. Okay. So you've got fake grass. It's not like a five-a-side football pitcher. No, sure. It's not a rubber crumb. Yeah. You've not got 5G. So what are you... It's actually brilliant. But what made you do it?
9:34Romesh Ranganathan:You don't have to cut it. Yeah. Both of them work. Saving time. It means that you can go out on it. You don't get muddy. You can treat it almost like, I guess an outdoor room. If I was going to sell it. I don't work for fake grass. I just, it was very practical. Is that what the company is called? Fake grass? It's so on the nose, isn't it? It's not far off, I think, to be honest. But you recommend it. Would you recommend it? I would actually. There's a place near me in Wimbledon, there's a restaurant and they put AstroTurf outside the front of their restaurant which obviously they think is like you know makes it look yeah but actually what keeps happening is dogs keep shitting on it oh oh yeah the neighbor's cat shits on us constantly he actually screamed at georgie because this is weird the cat no the neighbor uh he georgie went shoot the cat went shoe shoe he came is the neighbor here no Is it an office neighbour?
10:34Romesh Ranganathan:It's your house, right? No one listens. Okay, fine. But Ben, I just want to dive into the logic. You're whispering because you're nervous on the podcast. We are not at home. Okay, so your neighbour shooed away. No, no, Georgie shooed the cat away. Shooed the cat away. They were quite loud. They were all going, shoot, shoot. They were going to take another massive shit all the time. Right. All the time. Yeah. And then he came out and was like, don't you ever talk to my cat like that again? Like, he was furious about it. Like, apparently, he was worried we were upsetting the emotional stability.
11:18Romesh Ranganathan:The cat. Sure. Yeah. And I thought that was a bit of an overreaction. I feel like you can, surely with cats and animals, you can tell them off. we didn't like we weren't like spraying it with water we weren't like shooting it we didn't put poison out what was what was the nature of the can you do get away with my hands with your hands get away yeah okay i mean what i mean it's it's it's a i imagine there's a reaction to seeing somebody else tell off your pet yeah but it's not like an animal it's like a person sorry no but but what i'm saying is it's annoying it's annoying having shit all over your garden sure but if you had normal grass it would just it would sort of eventually it would actually circle a life do you know what i mean i'll swap back yeah well i'm not saying that we used to have artificial grass i didn't i didn't like no i never had it no no we used to i used you used to yeah i used to you and lisa yeah not me yeah why would you not have it why would i i I love gardening, proper garden.
12:22We don't love gardening.
12:23Romesh Ranganathan:You've got two gardeners that come round. This is not two gardeners, Rondi. You have got two gardeners? One is they're coming and treating the lawn. And then? He's not a gardener. So he treats the lawn. So what is he, a lawner? He's in the garden, isn't he? Yeah. Right. Yeah. So it's a gardener. Do you expect me to put the tank and squeeze it? No. Then will you come and do it for me? You love gardening, don't you? I love gardening. You love gardening. I love, my favourite thing about gardening is opening the curtains and seeing the guys working.
13:01Romesh Ranganathan:What has been the best thing to happen to you this week, mum? Best thing happened to me this week.
13:09Wherever I go, they are talking about the podcast.
13:13Romesh Ranganathan:Really? Yes. They are saying, oh, come, something, the lady at the Pilates, she mentioned the question you asked like you become a dad and I asked me what question do you want to ask I said how many women you fucked so she mentioned that we enjoyed each and this is her yeah remember you were with the feather yeah he was with the feather what are you talking about wings wings what do you call that yeah angel wings angel wings We did a call from beyond the grave. What do you want to ask, Shanti? Oh, I can tell you what I wanted to ask. Yeah. Okay, I do remember that. But I remember you phrasing it, how many women have you fucked?
13:59That's what I said. Yeah. Is that how she said it? I'm still asking. Still asking. How many?
14:05Romesh Ranganathan:I'm not. It's not happening. They're all bitches.
14:10He belongs to me. Leave him alone.
14:13Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, bitches. Bitches, yeah. Yeah. They are bitches. So that's the best thing to happen to you this week. what's the most annoying thing to happen to you this week
14:30the annoying thing i ordered can i talk about the shopping channel yeah sure i mean you talked
14:37Romesh Ranganathan:about diddle for about 45 minutes whilst we give someone else a bit of shine i ordered the mouthwash sure yeah oh this fucking mouthwash man from a shopping channel Did you not shopping, it's all TikTok. TikTok. Let's get it out here. Mum is now TikTok shopping. Nice. Okay. So some guy with seven followers will go, Hi, hi everyone. I'll tell you what, my breath feels so fresh. That's because I'm using this. A lot of other places are more expensive, but if you click here, you can get it for super cheap. It'll come tomorrow. Did you try the mouthwash? Is it a good mouthwash? It is. He hasn't tried.
15:18I gave him one.
15:19Romesh Ranganathan:It goes in your mouth, bro. You're buying it off TikTok. You're buying something off TikTok. I'm not fucking putting something in my mouth. I did it. I'm not dead. The Bevo is recommended. Okay? All right? You won't believe the amount of muck comes out. Yeah. I poured the glass and I checked it whether they have put something inside. Inside the mouthwash. Yeah. But nothing there. That's how you get through it so quickly. Yeah, so you poured it in. And what colour is it? Brown. What is? The mouthwash? Mouthwash. The mouthwash before you use it is brown? Yeah. And when you gargle it and bring everything out.
15:57Is it brown? Huh? Hold on. Can you please let me talk?
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16:02Romesh Ranganathan:I'm so sorry. Calm down, Romy. You have... Yeah. Yeah. Let me finish this sentence. Sorry. Okay? So many bits is stuck in the teeth. Yeah. It comes out and you get a shock. It does work. I am not selling anything, but it does work. Yeah. Can we put the link up now? In my defense, I've not tried it. You ask me a question, I'm going to tell you. Okay, fine. So I gave you one I had, the last one. So I ordered some. How many did you order? Three. Three. It's cheaper. Yeah. The guy left it on the doorstep. Somebody has opened the box and taken two and left one. So somebody nicked two mouthwashers? Two mouthwashers.
16:43I don't know.
16:44Romesh Ranganathan:What are you more worried about? Does somebody start it from your doorstep or somebody thinks your breath stinks so much they left you one? That's a nasty thing to say to your mother. I gave birth to you. Respect that, okay?
17:02He recorded some songs for me, Caribbean music. Everything felt, vagina, that there's everything coming in there.
17:10Romesh Ranganathan:Why? First of all, let's unpick this story. I recorded some Caribbean songs for mum and they're really filthy how much of that do you think is true mum came around I was playing some Afrobeat Afrobeat I couldn't get the name and then mum said I like this music could you send me some and so I sent her a playlist I didn't record some first of all it's a completely different continent Afrobeat Afrobeat second of all are you under the impression that I'm the one that's going ride up on the nanny That's not me. Did I say that's you? I quote, he recorded some Caribbean songs. That's what I taught. Yeah.
17:51My knowledge, that's all I can say. Anyway, it's a nice... But anyway, thank you for doing it. What was the filth?
17:57Romesh Ranganathan:What was the filth? Vagina. Vagina? Yeah, it comes in one other sentence. There's a song that says vagina. Yeah, something like that. Because I didn't lock the phone. Suddenly I started the car. This music came. Vagina That must be in context What's the rest of the line? But I enjoyed, I enjoyed, I'm not complaining I really enjoyed the beat Great, great, great Afrobeat, yeah Okay, good Now on Monday, Mum, we had on the show, Harry Hill Do you know Harry Hill? Of course, with the big collar The big collar, yeah, and the glasses Why does he wear, is he Elvis? no it's not Elvis Harry Hill then why does why does he wear this massive colour that's like his look it's like his comedic look okay okay yeah now he's got a lot of energy when he performs he dances quick costume changes and make people sing I saw one of the programs yeah he does do that yeah yeah why is that that's part of the show part of the show yeah okay but in the comedy sorry did I say I am Harry Hill's legal representative why am I being asked to defend all his creative decisions comedy and music is totally different.
19:09So why you are mixing all that? Lots of comedy music, mum. Is it?
19:14Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, it combines. I never heard anything you're singing. No, but we've got a different style. I don't wear a collar like him. Okay, I'm just checking. He wears big collars, I wear really long hoodies. I'm checking. We all have our different style. Okay. What's your style? This is my style, sort of. That's your style? Yeah. This is, it's like Indian ladies' wears, isn't it? Mm. You don't like it? I don't like it on you. I like it on them. I don't like it on you. Why is here? Show off your long legs. Okay? Do you not like it either? I like it. You like it. You actually look a bit sad. Will, what do you think?
19:56Romesh Ranganathan:Will, you like it? Yeah. What are you doing? When I see a man, I like to see the ass. You want to see my ass? I gave birth to you I'd love to see the ass I gave birth to you I'd love to see the ass What the fuck is going on? You're a nice shaped ass I love it If you give birth to somebody you do want to see their nice shaped ass You had an ass tough when you were a baby Suddenly he's disappeared What have you done? This episode is brought to you by Tilda Rice the UK's favourite rice brand So my idea of a perfect Friday night is curry at home. Aubergine curry, big pot, loads of sauce, proper basmati rice.
20:39Romesh Ranganathan:It's a ritual in my house, the kind of meal that brings the whole family together and turns staying in into an actual event. Some people go out on a Friday. Good for them. We've got a curry on. But here's the thing. If you're going to make it properly, the rice actually matters. And that's where Tilda comes in. They've been at this for over 50 years. They age their basmati for up to 18 months, so it cooks up properly fluffy. And they remove inferior grains during milling, specifically to avoid that dreaded stodgy texture. They mill around 16 billion grains a day, which is genuinely more effort than I put into anything.
21:09Romesh Ranganathan:And if a curry isn't the vibe, or if you want something quicker, they've got over 25 ready-to-heat pouches. Coconut rice, spicy Mexican, Caribbean rice and peas, two minutes and done. The kind of versatility I honestly aspire to. Live like you mean it with Tilda Rice in major supermarkets and at tilda.com. K-pop Demon Hunters, Haja Boys Breakfast Meal and Huntrick's meal have just dropped at McDonald's. They're calling this a battle for the fans. What do you say to that, Rumi? It's not a battle. So glad the Saja boys could take breakfast and give our meal the rest of the day. It is an honor to share.
21:43No, it's our honor. It is our larger honor. No, really, stop. You can really feel the respect in this battle. Pick a meal to pick a side. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba.
21:55Romesh Ranganathan:And participate in McDonald's while supplies last. We gather here tonight to bring women back to their rightful place. The Testaments, a new Hulu original series from the executive producers of The Handmaid's Tale. It's easier to accept a story than believe that the people around you are monsters. The battle isn't over. There comes a time when you have to take action, when you have to choose your own destiny. Never quite as it seems. Watch the new Hulu original series, The Testaments. Streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.
22:30Romesh Ranganathan:Mum, where do you get your energy from? Where do I get the energy from? From praying. From praying. I told you, you know, I always pray that I shouldn't, don't make me go to the loo during the day, wherever I go. Nice call back. Yeah, so I started taking something for that. What's that? Probiotic. Probiotic? What will that do? That will soothe your stomach. Okay. Line your gut, that's stomach lining. Okay. And you come here. Okay. So you won't get upset. Okay. But you still need to, whether you've got an upset stomach or not, you're still going to go to the toilet, aren't you? I make sure that I eat the right thing.
23:08Okay. Not to get upset. I won't go for too spicy food.
23:11Romesh Ranganathan:All right. And so I make sure I eat. What's your fiber intake like? It's good. I have got some... Psyllium husks. No, I ordered some protein shakes. Psyllium husks. Psyllium husks. that's good for fibre supplement do you take it? do you take B12? no, I should do you should because you don't eat meat I know do anyone else here have psyllium husks? I haven't tried, can you buy me one? I've tried psyllium husks you're a supplement guy aren't you? I've tried a few, I've never really stuck to anything religiously but psyllium husk are quite they move through you creatine is good Cillium husk. I must write the name.
23:54It begins with P, confusingly. Can you send it to me? I'll order it on TikTok.
24:00Romesh Ranganathan:You can get it from other places, mum. Okay. You can get it from other places. So it's P-H, isn't it? Buying fucking cillium husks off Bonnie Blue. Yes, P-S. P-S-Y-L-L-I-U-M. It really makes you poo. Is it? It makes you poo. So you have to be at home? You don't have to be at home the whole time, no. Okay, okay. But it will make you more... No, nice to empty. In Sri Lanka, they give castor oil once a month to a child. When I was under 12, I remember early morning, tomorrow is castor oil, and they will cook some fish curry or something. Early morning, empty stomach, you have the glass of castor oil.
24:45The whole morning will be in the toilet, empty. sometimes there's a worm comes out as well oh wow yeah it does it does you know but the children eat a lot of sweets so it emptied the sound 12 o 'clock we have our lunch you've had a worm come out your ass it did it's like thick and long it did a thick long worm came out of your ass
25:12Romesh Ranganathan:You have it. How old are you? Maybe I was seven, eight. Seven, eight years old. A thick long worm came out of your ass. Yeah, because I used to eat a lot of sweets. That's not... You give it a try. Now you will have a snake in there. I will have a snake inside. I mean, I've had big long worms come out of me, but that's part of the process. Am I right? Okay. Uploaded them to ratemypoo.com. Thank you so much for your messages and voice notes. It's our listener time now. Okay. Okay, so this is where we sort of help people out or give them advice or discuss a question they might have for us. And then Will does some cool bits in the background.
25:50I want to ask you a question.
25:52Romesh Ranganathan:Please. So I don't see you more often. So I know it sounds boring in your ears. I'm trying to think how to improve the situation. Can you advise me? Yeah. Don't ever come? Why did you want to bring this up now? Just, it came into my head. It's always in your fucking head. It's never not in your head. You came around on Sunday, didn't you? Yeah. Yeah. After begging. You didn't beg. I invited you around. I sent you a big text. What was the text? What did the text say? Can you remember? Oh, yeah. Oh, my God, please. I just, I love having you as a son. If only I could see you more while I'm still on this earth.
26:33Romesh Ranganathan:I mean, it's, as emotional blackmail goes, it's up there. It's not a blackmail. You don't have that urge. I do have the O. Why is it? A session from Danielle from Stain. Okay, great. Reminder that you can always text or WhatsApp us on 07731623355 or you can email podcast at hrangaby.com. That's podcast at hrangaby.com. But please, and this is serious, actually, can we just be serious for a moment? Please stop asking about these animals. All right? If anybody keeps asking to see them or to hear more from them, you will be blocked. Okay. We've got a message from Danielle from Staines. Hello, Ramesh and Shanti.
27:17It's Danielle here. I absolutely love your podcast. Shanti, you're an absolute icon. I can't wait for your upcoming cooking show. Ramesh may remember me from being part of the makeup team on his show Avoidance a few years ago. We all had such a good time. It was such a fun job. My question is for Shanti. If you had to pitch the creatures, as Ramesh calls them, that sit behind the camera up to the single girlies of the UK? How would you describe them? Think dating app profile. Okay, can't wait to hear. Thanks. Bye. That's such a good question, darling. Such a good question. They don't look like animals.
27:58There's a... John, he's such a handsome, tall guy. Ben is good looking. What?
28:07Romesh Ranganathan:Nothing. girl and will is such a good looking nice sharp features okay don't believe what romance says about these three okay i will kill him one day when i when i am eventually murdered by mom i hope you clip all this up together all these different bits she's gonna kick my ass she's gonna smash my face and she's gonna kill me uh this is a message for all the girls uh all boys in the uk that might be interested in these guys. Have you ever watched David Attenborough's Planet Earth and seen two animals copulating and felt a tingle in your genitals? If you have, then one of these three could be for you.
28:58Did he have the tingle then? When you watch David Attenborough's show?
29:02Romesh Ranganathan:No, I get a tingle when I watch David Attenborough. Something about his whispering. these marsupials are now fucking that was my david atterbury no he never says fucking no mating mating as they mate who knows if they're real it could be just puppets no david atterbury okay so mum do you think so you've mum you've done a description unfortunately what i would say is all three of these chimps are taken so we can't really offer them up How would you describe John and Will? Why do you not want me to describe you? I would describe Will as a dusky beauty. Dusky's very good. He's got beautiful curly hair.
29:49Romesh Ranganathan:I would describe John as having sort of Nordic warrior qualities. Yeah, yeah. And Ben is sort of like a shriveled nutsack.
30:04don't believe Romesh I'm sorry
30:09Romesh Ranganathan:I'm sorry man Ben's a really handsome guy he's a really good looking guy he's got a great dress sense really funny really good looking I've got nothing negative to say about him in that specific instance ok question 2 is Amy from Australia hello Romesh Shanti and team Amy here from Australia, massive fan. And I will pop all my cards on the table from the get-go and just say, Romesh, I think you are one of the hottest people that I've ever seen. And even staring at your little WhatsApp icon as I say this, it's actually almost unbearable. Anyway, I digress. I'm wondering, you have leaned into your physical insecurities for so much of your career.
30:54So much so actually that I would say that when I Googled this contact, that the first search that comes up is Romesh Ranganathan I. I'm not saying that to hurt you. I just thought you might like to know. Anyway, particularly Shanthi, but both of you, how does it feel to have seen this really hard pivot when now I think that most fans, we would agree that, Romesh, you're one of the greatest sexual icons of our generation. Just wondering how that pivot feels. And team, I'm not trying to tell you how to do your job,
31:28Romesh Ranganathan:but if you could lay over maybe some really sensual, overly sexual music to this, that would be great. Thanks so much, massive fan. Love you, bye. Love you too.
31:43Romesh Ranganathan:She's obviously taking the piss. I don't think she is. John, do you think I'm sexy? Yeah. Ben, do you think I'm sexy? Well, I can appreciate your aesthetic. But do you think I'm sexy? Yeah. Look at me and tell you, do you think I'm sexy or not? It's difficult because I see you as a friend. I know, but a fuckable friend? Men have got to get better at complimenting another man. Thank you. No, exactly. So, yeah, no, I definitely think stuff, yeah. I think you're repressed, man. I think you're... Yeah. Will, would you fuck me? That's not the way to ask. Sorry, Will, would you let me fuck you? No.
32:24Romesh Ranganathan:It's good to be firm. You have to be quiet. Yeah, I would be firm. but loving and giving. Well, I'd appreciate it. Like a sort of a butter that's been in the fridge for a little bit. I really don't think it's wise to sort of offer to fuck the staff sort of that you've employed. Yeah, I know, I know. Just as a rule. Yeah. Can I just say, I apologise in behalf of the podcast. We should not be encouraging bestiality. Okay. Amy, thank you so much for your message. I'm flattered slash suspicious. The next one we've got is from Will. Let's hear it. Good afternoon, Romesh and Mrs Ranganathan. My name is Will, and I have got a question for you.
33:07Romesh Ranganathan:I am the single parent of a wonderful nine-year-old daughter of mine called Penelope. Congratulations. And I'm currently being harangued and harassed by both Penelope and mums at the school for sleepovers. I'm not comfortable with Penelope going to some Let's be honest, stranger's house To have a sleepover Makes me feel massively uncomfortable Equally, I don't know why parents are asking me Well, not me to have a sleepover But they're asking if their child can stay around our house What's wrong with this going out on a play date? Let's go and do something during the day I'd love to hear what your thoughts are Thanks ever so much And Ramesh, you're basically living my dream Will, thank you so much for your message.
33:53Romesh Ranganathan:I've got to be honest with you. I'm sort of on the other parent's side on this one. What do you think about sleepovers? Sleepovers, I don't like. Did you used to let Ron's friend sleepover at your house? Yes. John used to come. There was an embarrassing incident of a sleepover. Okay, so this is why I think mobile phones are so good, right? So there's a TikTok. You must have seen it while you were shopping. but there's a ticked up where this guy said that when he's sometimes when his kids ran somebody like staying around another family's house or whatever and he's like getting homesick or wants to come home or whatever sort of change their mind about they don't feel comfortable anymore they would just send like a little text to their dad and then the dad would phone up the parents and say i'm really sorry i want my kid to come home because there's something that's come up that we and make an excuse for them so they could get them out of there yeah now when I was a kid there wasn't there wasn't that it's just landline I don't have a mobile so I go around I remember one night I was staying around a friend's house and I wanted to come home yeah you cried so then well okay there's certain details can I be in control of what we sorry sorry I lived you how old 12 no I wasn't 12 I was like 9 ok 9 and 12 between 9 and I would say 16, 17.
35:16Romesh Ranganathan:In that bracket. So I phoned home. So I said, can I phone my house, please? But the problem was is that my friend and his parents were listening to the call. So I've now faced with the job of trying to convey to my parents that I wanted to come home without saying that I wanted to come home. So you just sort of go, is there anything... I mean, also I was nine, so I wasn't that good at being diplomatic. I go, is there anything I need to come home for? Is there anything I need to come home for? And then dad would go, no, you're nine. And then I just had to start crying and come home. Do you remember?
35:55Yeah, we came and picked you up.
35:57Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. Yeah. It's quite a dark story. Because you didn't like the, I don't know. Why you didn't like staying there? Look, the truth is I got homesick, okay? It took me a while to settle into sleepovers, is the honest truth. You know, and also people sleep differently, don't they and like the smell's different do you know what I mean bed's different bed's different yeah yeah I also cried at most sleepovers yeah there you go I think it's quite normal for kids isn't it those days John didn't cry I don't think you've ever cried I mean you don't look like you ever slept indoors
36:35Romesh Ranganathan:oh what's that 11 o 'clock time to put John in the garden
36:47Romesh Ranganathan:anyway let's answer will's dilemma okay um the truth is actually i'm saying this my kids are older than yours but um they have sleepers all the time i know it's different for boys or whatever but they do have like it's a fun like they'll watch films they'll step a bit later than they do and um you know and they play games into the night and stuff like you have to put up with the fact it's a bit of a late night but it is different i'm telling it's different and not better but it's different to a play date and so i understand your cynicism um but i do think this is something you should let your daughter do having said that i also do understand that you're kind of like not being sure about the parents what i tend to do is what lisa and i try and do is you try and get to know the parents a little bit before you do it you know just try and even if it's like going like going texting them and going is it possible to have a quick chat at the school gates or whatever and you and just until you feel all right about it if you don't feel all right about it then just make excuses but what i would say is if you can find a way to make it happen i think you should it's fun sleepovers it is it is if yeah of course i agree with you totally yeah What a ride this has been That's it for this Thursday Thank you so much for listening We're going to be back on Monday with another exciting guest Can't reveal who it is So enjoy the surprise on Monday Thank you so much for listening Suck a gooch motherfuckers And lick a bridge Peace And put one ball in your mouth Disgusting thank you so much for watching this episode of the romish rang and nathan show i've been told that some of you are watching this enjoying it wallowing in it but you still haven't subscribed that's mad behavior you're going to miss episodes very silly so follow and subscribe to the romish rang and nathan show on youtube spotify apple or wherever you get your podcasts we drop new episodes every monday and thursday on monday i'm here with amazing guests talking about their career what they're up to, having a laugh with them.
38:51Romesh Ranganathan:And then on Thursdays, I'm joined by my mum, widely regarded as the audience's favourite Ranganathan. And we answer your questions, your stories, and your family dilemmas. We'll be back on Monday with another great guest, and then mum will see you again on Thursday. Send your questions and stories to podcast at rangabee.com, voice note or text on 07731 623 355. We genuinely love hearing from you, and there's a good chance you'll hear yourself on the show. See you next time. Oh, shut up, Romesh.
From the publisher
Is Romesh a sex icon?
Romesh Ranganathan and his mum Shanthi are back answering listener dilemmas, including a tricky parenting question and rating the team's attractiveness.They get into Shanthi’s latest TikTok Shop discovery (and the mystery of a stolen delivery), her thoughts on health trends and supplements, and why Romesh is apparently failing basic son duties.
As always expect a healthy amount of roasting, form Romesh's fashion to his bum.
A Ranga Bee Production in partnership with Platform.
00:00 Intro
03:23 Shanthi calls out Romesh
05:10 Sunday scaries
07:20 Morning rituals and astro turf
12:46 The best and worst thing in Shanthi’s week
14:38 TikTok Shop and thiefs
16:47 Shanthi’s take on Afrobeats
18:14 Rom and Shanthi on having Harry Hill on the show
19:16 Romesh’s outfit gets ripped apart
20:30 Praying and diet tips
23:19 Shanthi asks for advice
24:55 A question for Shanthi on the team’s attractiveness
28:09 Romesh’s question on being a sex icon
31:45 Are sleepovers good or bad?
36:43 Outro
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