ShxtsNGigs On WORST Fan Interactions, Imposter Syndrome & Touring

19:07Touring is incredible because it also gives the fans the opportunity to see us live, when we do the meet and greets, it's like, oh, this is the first time they get to see us. This is the first time we get to see them. So it's really rewarding to do tours, to be honest.

19:20Romesh Ranganathan:Is it, when you first started going out on tour, I think the whole lot, because people think you've got a big podcast following, let's just take it on the road. But it's not as simple as that. Like, you know, I know from Josh and Rob doing Parenting Hell, I know that trying to turn that into a stage show is a difficult thing. Yeah. It's super difficult. And it has taken, like, Luckily, we did our first live show, what, like three years ago, something like that. So we've had a lot of time to figure out the process. And we've made a lot of mistakes. We thought at first, let's do so much where you're bringing members of the audience on.

19:54And then you find out you do that too much. And everyone's like, mate, fuck this.

19:59Romesh Ranganathan:Let's be honest, they're disappointing. I've done a lot of let's do Q &As and then I brought someone on stage and it's gone shit. And that's their fault. It can. Yeah, it is their fault. Yeah. So what we try and do is like find like the perfect balance of like, I feel like I am watching what I'm so used to watching at home, but literally here without it being so lazy that we are just doing that. Yeah. And trying to make it like as, so for example, like to give you an example, there's a segment that we do on the podcast where I recap on like fantasy books that I'm reading every week. now we've implemented that as like a really immersive like fantasy production style in the podcast and it's pretty much what we do in the thing but it's like a it's just like it takes everyone on a journey and it's like super like I said immersive and funny and like engaging and shit like that so it's just like funny little bits like that that we can work and then just like one of the things that I find weird about taking a podcast and talk is like they really know you right big time and sometimes I don't know if you feel like this but sometimes when we're talking on the podcast because I forget that this is for public consumption.

21:06Romesh Ranganathan:And so then you say something and then they go to me, how's Lisa, you having sex again? Oh my God. What the fuck did you just say? Yeah, it's dark, you forget. You always, always forget. A lot, dude. And then yeah, they know how to push out, but like our typical narrative is that like, I'm just like jealous of any other friendship or relationship that he has outside of us. Is that legit? It's case dependent. Okay. Yeah, it's case dependent. I obviously want him to have a girlfriend and stuff like that, but other friends is not. Difficult, that's the barrier. That's not necessary. There's one particular friend though.

21:43There is one particular friend called Toby, and that has lasted... That joke has lasted three years, maybe longer. I'm so happy no one knows what he looks like, because I genuinely think that if people just knew what he looked like walking around the street, they'd stone him. Yeah, they'd stone him in the street. They actually would. People fucking hate Toby. For no reason. It's not no reason. But you know what I mean? There's a reason, it's just not his fault. Yeah, it's not, okay, it's not his fault. Okay, better way of saying that.

22:07Romesh Ranganathan:Are you nervous about being out and about and with somebody that looks like they might be called Toby? We've had that before. Yeah. Like some people look like more likely to be called Toby than others, don't they? Yeah, fair. Yeah. That's a fair story. Our actual friend Toby doesn't look like a Toby. Right. So he gets away with it a lot. He does. I've been with some friends and they'll be like, who the fuck is that Toby? Who's that fucking Toby? And I'm like, chill, dude, no, it's not. And he's like, all right, let's check it. are you both in the market for other friends I'm not pitching I'm not pitching actually so you don't want to be our friend I'm not saying I don't want to be your friend but I'm saying I've not come into this so you haven't come into this thinking I hope we're friends after this because I have so have I so what the fuck is this then it's a promo opportunity isn't it it's a promo opportunity that's what it is on the face of it we're not talking about a face dude we're talking about real shit once we get past this stupid tour segment what are we really going to get into what no no okay do you want me to be honest with you yes okay I'm going to be so honest with you yeah I'd love us to be friends right but yeah yeah it's always a but it's not nothing to do with you personally but it's a very difficult situation to manage your time and have enough time for friends so you know I would say that in recent years I've been more closed off to the idea of making new friends than I've been in the past there's not to say I want to be friends with you.

23:30Romesh Ranganathan:Okay. But I would love... What I would love is us to agree on a sort of a low maintenance arrangement. He wants something casual. Yeah. He wants something casual. He wants a fling. He wants to slat us out. He wants to fling. He wants to fling. He wants to fling. He wants to fling. Yeah. Whenever it suits you. No, I'm not saying whenever it suits me. I'm just saying like, what I mean is, I would love us to be friends, the exchange numbers and all that. Okay. But if we were to... I might not get back to a text straight away is what I'm saying. Do you know what I mean? Okay, well, what's like, just manage our expectations.

24:01Not straight away is fine. Are we talking six hours a day, a week?

24:06Romesh Ranganathan:Listen, it's very tech specific. You know, if you go, hey, how you doing? I wouldn't expect to hear back from you in a week. If it's something really specific, like, hey, man, could I get your advice on something? I would get back to you straight away. You know, it just depends. A week is crazy. Yeah, a week is disgraceful. I'd rather not hear back from you at all. in the middle of a week later. Let's say we've exchanged - That can make happen. Let's say we've just exchanged numbers now. Okay. And I'm like, oh, hey, how you doing? Thank you for having us on your show, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, that would be.

24:37Instantly you would? Yeah. Pretty much. What if I send you like a TikTok? That's a good test.

24:42Romesh Ranganathan:I'll be honest with you, I'll probably block you. Really? What if it's really, really funny? That's a good test. No, if it's a really funny TikTok, then I'll probably get a laughing face emoji or something. Okay, but you won. Depends what it is. Okay, cool, cool. It might be two. All right, fair enough. I'll take it, man. You're hard to please, bro. No, but it's not, that's not hard to please. Guys, you're pretending now. You like - Nah, I'm not. I also don't give up my number that much, so I understand what you're saying. Yeah, there you go. So you know what I'm saying. I mean, they're serious.

25:11Like, how about the friendship thing? What do you mean? Yeah, so am I. I'd love to be friends, yeah. But there's a caveat. It's not a caveat. I'm just - He just wants to manage expectations that he's not. Like friends is a loose term. It's an acquaintance. Okay, so how good are you at texting? I'm a good texter. Straight away? Yeah. And you? Pretty decent. Okay. But not like beggy.

25:31Romesh Ranganathan:No, no. Neither of you have got a very beggy vibe, actually. Okay, so. You don't have that about you. I don't detect a thirst. That was decent. But you know, sometimes I would say I'm one of the people that like, and this is bad, I'm not proud of this. I get distracted with other things. And then it might be like, I'll suddenly start replying. And then there'll be about 10 minutes where I'm replying instantly. and then I'll go offline again. Do you know what I mean? That kind of, yes. You know what we haven't discussed? What? Initiation. Because the narrative is very, I'll reply, I'll reply. But why are we always chasing?

26:05Also true. Would you initiate a conversation? Yeah, of course I would, yeah. Really? Yeah, of course I would. What do you say? Like, how would you open up a text? Yeah, what's the open message?

26:14Romesh Ranganathan:Good question. Good question. I mean, also, sorry. Would you treat this as one friendship or individual friendships? Good question. Would you group chat us? Yeah. God forbid you group chat us. Would you join us in a group chat? I bet you fucking would. He would. Of course he would. Of course he would. Of course he would. I've not said anything. Your face said it all. You're facing everything, bro. My face doesn't say anything, man. My face doesn't say anything. You ask anybody that's directed me in a scripted thing. In truth, no, I would treat you as individuals. But in terms of which one of you I would text when, I would have to know what kind of things.

26:50Romesh Ranganathan:You're different people, right? Okay. So there's certain things that might appeal to you more or might appeal to you more. So I'd learn. I'm like AI. Like orange stuff. Orange stuff you'd send to food herds. Exactly. Yeah. You'd get all my colour stuff. Nice. What do you think of this? I saw a sunrise. It reminded me of your favourite colour. What do you think? Picture. I like the initiation. Yeah. There you go. And myself. You might be... I'm getting ink today. Ink. Oh, like tell you. I saw you got Richard Pryor tell you. That's really cool. Yeah, yeah. I like to remind people of better comedians.

27:24Romesh Ranganathan:That's not hard, is it? Whenever they look at me. I don't think they need a reminder, but I get the point. Yeah. I don't think I'll reply to you as quickly. I'm joking. I'm joking. No, no, no. Okay, this is honest. I've never talked about this much. Okay. I sometimes find a text a bit of a burden, to be honest with you. To respond to or to receive? I'm thinking about switching to a brick. So you're just offline a lot. well I just feel like I'm too distracted by my phone I feel like it's a pressure when people get in touch I would describe myself as an empath if somebody messages me I think fuck that person wants a reply and then you get a few messages and you think fuck and then what I end up doing is rather than dealing with all of them I deal with none of them and then I'm sending apologies and all of that and so it gets a bit it gets a bit difficult yeah that makes sense and also you want your friends to feel like they're being valued you know okay cool you know but I would love us to be friends alright we're going to follow up after the mics come off and stuff like that.

28:21Romesh Ranganathan:I would love that. Okay, cool. I genuinely would love that. I'm not just saying it for this promo opportunity. I'm saying it genuinely. I believe it. Why are you doing that face? I've chosen to believe it. You're sceptical. Why are you so sceptical? I believe it. I just don't like the way you end it sometimes. Okay. For this promo opportunity. Don't say stuff like you're trying to win me over. You sound like I've got a lot more reviews, actually.

28:45Romesh Ranganathan:This episode is brought to you by Alice and Steve, a new Hulu original series exclusively on Disney+. My friendships are very important to me. My mates have stuck with me through the good times and the bad. Together we face triumphs, losses, and gone from boys to men. Some of them, that's arguable. Friendships are one of the most important things in my life, apart from Lisa, the kids, my mum, Dinesh, hip-hop, the dogs, Arsenal Football Club, an ice house, my trainer collection, the list goes on. One of the things that would cause me to end a friendship would be is somebody who's a close friend like Rob Beckett borrowing a pair of my new trainers and wearing them for some sort of dance-off.

29:20Romesh Ranganathan:I can't imagine that's something he'd do, but it would be putting my shoes in jeopardy and therefore the friendship. But that, my friends, is small fry compared to Alice and Steve, a new six-part comedy series from the producers of Baby Reindeer, which can only be described as the ultimate rom-com. Alice and Steve are lifelong mates until Alice's adult daughter sleeps with Steve. Come on, man. Let that one sink in. I mean, can you imagine? Can you imagine? I can only imagine because I wouldn't do anything like that, mainly because of lack of opportunity. Obviously, that blows everything up and their friendship is tested to the absolute max.

29:56Romesh Ranganathan:Starring Nicola Walker and Jermaine Clement, it's a hilariously messy and complicated exploration of friendship, family and love where best friends make the best enemies. Alice and Steve, a new Hulu original series exclusively on Disney+. 18 +, subscription required, T's and C's apply. Did you know about one in three people with plaque psoriasis may also develop psoriatic arthritis, which causes joint pain, stiffness and swelling? Does this sound like you? Listen to what it sounds like to be a million miles away.

30:34Trimphia, Gucelcomab, taken by injection, is a prescription medicine for adults with moderate to severe plaque psoriasis who may benefit from taking injections or pills or phototherapy and for adults with active psoriatic arthritis. Serious allergic reactions and increased risk of infections and liver problems may occur. Before treatment, your doctor should check you for infections and tuberculosis. Tell your doctor if you have an infection, flu-like symptoms, or if you need a vaccine. Imagine being a million miles away. Explore what's possible. Ask your doctor about Trimphaya. Tap this ad to learn more about Trimphaya, including important safety information.

31:15Romesh Ranganathan:Okay, we've got a question from my mother on voice notes. I've not heard this, so let's see. Hi guys, I'm Ramitri's mom, young at heart. I know you are a very successful young man. you talk very openly on your podcast sorry to be a bit rude something i really said on our podcast was that i never go for number two in a public toilet do you have any personal rules like that have a blessed day love you both that's so cute okay so um what are you like about Are you shitting? I would prefer to shit at home. Yeah. Have I shat in public? Does a studio count as public? Our studio doesn't count? It's a communal.

32:04It's a communal bathroom, so that does count as public, but I also treat it like it's my second home. So. What do you mean? The studio you mean? The studio, yeah. So outside of that, nah. No. Sometimes I have to, I'm not gonna lie to you. Especially in the last few years. I haven't really spoke about this. Jim. I have a lot of caffeine and it fucks me up. Gym, I would say so. Places I frequent. So third space is my third home. Work is my second home and home is home. Those are the three places I shit.

32:31Romesh Ranganathan:Okay, so you've got three places you shit. But what if you were having a day out of meetings and stuff like that? And I needed to shit? Yeah, what happens? I do what I need to do, man. It depends how badly I need to shit. Like is it hurting? Is my stomach hurting? Yeah. Oh, bro, I have to. I'll find like a Starbucks sign. I won't be proud. Starbucks? anything dude do they have to give you a code and stuff yeah I'll buy a water I'll buy a water I don't want to go there I'm asking how urgent it is no no no no there's no judgement you know what I went oh my god I went we did a hot ones challenge the other week oh my god and I had to pull over into a pub and then I had to promise that I would buy a drink afterwards and I was stuck in there for 25 minutes and afterwards I was too embarrassed to go back to the bar and buy a drink because you're going to be like what the fuck dude what the fuck yeah I think you might need to buy five drinks.

33:21Yeah, yeah, yeah. I ran out. I don't know if I can tell you this, I ran out.

33:24Romesh Ranganathan:So look, hold on, James. Can I just check the morals of this? You went in the teaser toilet that said only if you buy a drink. He said, I promise you I'll buy a drink. You then let seven shades of hell out of your arsehole for 25 minutes. And your reward to them for taking a much longer shit was to not buy a drink. That doesn't feel right. I will clarify that I didn't give him the chance to tell me I had to buy a drink. Before he even opened his mouth, I said, I will buy a drink if you just tell me where the bathroom is. And then he was like, yeah, it's back there. And then I just didn't follow through on my promise.

33:59Through shame. I should just go back and just do it. I would, because I clearly still feel guilty about it. That was three and a half weeks ago.

34:05Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. Yeah. It's difficult. I find it difficult. I often use hotels. You'll go into a hotel just to shit? Yeah. In like the lobby, toilet or whatever? Yeah, sometimes I'll pretend I'm on the phone and go, where are you? because you often have meetings in hotels. Where are you? That's a great tactic. I'm not going to lie. That's clutch. How long have you been using that? Quite a while because the problem was is that when I started to get more recognisable the door staff would chat to you and then you go he's made a mental log now of one I've arrived. And then if I emerge like 11 minutes later which is my average time then he's going to know that guy's like dropped a hot one.

34:42Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. Okay. A lot of time I will sorry to interrupt I will wait until the last minute because it will just cut down that time do you ever do that okay a little piss period yeah yeah oh yeah long pierce that's a good shout yeah yeah yeah i'll do a cut i always do a courtesy flush as well nice do you do that yeah yeah you have to right yeah it's it's it's just manners gestures isn't it good gesture yeah but anyway that wasn't actually my mom's question my mom's question was i forgot about that do you have any personal rules personal rules so she doesn't do a number two in public what kind of Oh, this is just in general, this is not toilet related.

35:17No, it doesn't have to be done. But if that's your sweet spot. Nah, that's fine. Personal rules.

35:25When we say hello to people say hello to us in public, I try and spud them as opposed to handshake them.

35:29Romesh Ranganathan:Okay. Just like hand sunny situation. Yeah, I get that. It's quicker, faster. Even if they're like this, I stay like this. I don't budge. Yeah, you can't budge. You can't budge. You can't fold. Yeah, they manipulate me all the time and then we get into one of these situations. Yeah, you can't fold bro. and just remain stern and then they switch and then boom, cool, have a good day. How much conversation are you willing to accept from somebody that comes up to you as a member of the public? Depends on the conversation. It also depends on the scenario. So for example, let's say we've just finished the show.

35:56People have tried to meet us like backstage afterwards or whatever, like when we're trying to leave to go back to the hotel, more time there's people waiting to take pictures. We would entertain a group of people for like 10 to 15 minutes before we leave. But if we're walking, let's say we were coming here today and someone stopped us. After asking for a photograph and if they want to have more and more conversation, I'll just be like, appreciate you, but we need to go somewhere. So I'll be courteous with it. I wouldn't just like say -

36:21Romesh Ranganathan:Have you ever been rude? That's what I really want to get to. I don't think so. Oh, have I? Not intentionally. Okay. It's clear when you're not in the mood. I know you. Okay, yeah. But yeah, I would never say rude. Blunt. I am very blunt sometimes. You've got that in your locker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what happened? very true this is multiple occasions yeah this is all the time it's more like people will be like oh my god I love you and he'll be like and he'll say the words but he doesn't he doesn't feel he doesn't transfer the feeling there's no emotion yeah so someone will be like oh my god I love the podcast so much and he'll be like thank you bro I appreciate you and they'll be like oh can I grab a picture and he'll be like yeah and they'll just be like I can imagine you're probably quite similar I have that even when I'm very excited to see them yeah that's the issue I've got is that I don't it's difficult I find it difficult I actually also find it slightly embarrassing.

37:11Romesh Ranganathan:I think it's the same thing that you said. When somebody has that reaction to you, you know who you are. So the idea that they would have that relationship with you feels so alien. So then I get really embarrassed. Because sometimes people say really like amazing, amazing stuff about what your work has done for them. And then what do I say? Yeah, that makes sense. I expect that. Is that it? Yeah, cool. Yeah, you're the fourth one today that said that. You can't do that. So then immediately, you just start to get a bit like, and it comes for me because of the way I am, I can imagine it comes cross-redued.

37:53Romesh Ranganathan:I will say, thanks, that really means a lot or whatever. But I don't sound like I do think that. Yeah, I actually, we had a lady on the meet and greet the other day who said, wow, astoundingly nice things. And I worry that I sound sarcastic because I'm trying to be like genuine, but I can't ever match the gravity of what you're saying. So I'm just like, wow. Wow. I'm hearing myself like, you sound like a sarcastic prick. I just don't know what else to say. So I end up just hugging them as much as I possibly can. That's good. And hopefully that gets it across. But there are too many hugs you can give.

38:25Yeah, obviously there's a limit. There is a limit, yeah. Also like your fans are like... They're pretty hardcore.

38:31Romesh Ranganathan:I would say I've got more casuals. Do you know what I mean? That's fair. That's good. You've got hardcore fans, whereas I've got... Do you prefer that though? What would you prefer? I think it depends on what, if they watched this or my stand-up, then they're invested, right? Because they really know you. Whereas if they watch you on Weakest Link, you know, and they go, I really like you on Weakest Link, that's like going, you know, what the fuck does that mean? Yeah, okay. That makes perfect sense. That makes perfect sense. Do you know what I mean though? To an extent, man, you're not chosen to be the host for a reason.

39:03Romesh Ranganathan:I know, but they're not actually a fan of me. It's like, oh my God, it really moved me the way you ask those questions at the podium and then tell that person that they should have got that right. That's not an investment in you as a person. Do you know what I mean? So you just go, yeah, cool, I'm glad you like the show. It's mainly a format thing, and to be honest with you, anyone could host it. That is the honest truth. You just have to be able to read out loud. So that's a bit of a different thing. Because I'm friends with a few musicians, and I get recognised more than they get recognised a lot of the time, But when they do get recognised, the relationship that person has with them is, you know, it's like you changed my life.

39:42Romesh Ranganathan:It's big. It's really big. Whereas they'll be like, Rajesh, loved you on... What the fuck happened to League of Their Own? Yeah. No, actually, I preferred it with Whitehall. Anyway, see you later, mate. You know, it'd be like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rajesh. Yeah, I get Rajesh a lot. Really? I got somebody come up to and go, you know you look a lot like Ramesh Ranganathan. I said, yeah, I get that a lot. and then they tell me what they thought of his career. Did you agree? I did. I had to. Yeah, I know. I had to. What am I supposed to do? I think he's a bit sneery on the travel show. I go, yeah.

40:24Romesh Ranganathan:Like there's dry humor and then there's just you're not funny. That's like joining in. Fuck. I'm shooing myself. That would make me cry in the toilet. In this conversation. Fuck, goodbye. but my agent was with me who I've been with for a long time she said to me you deserve that why? she said in a front she's going like why did you do that? why did you just say oh I'm rummish now you have to listen to this guy review your entire fucking back catalogue do you know what I mean? I had one thing where I was in a pub and I was with a few mates and I'd meet up with my mates from back home like once like twice a year or something we have a big night out and these lads come over and can we get a photo with big fans I said yeah I know this is a bit weird but is it alright if we like have a couple of drinks with you and join you for a bit and obviously that is unacceptable yeah that's very weird that is I don't think I can tell anything once yeah oh my god I just said to them I was honest with them I said that is a shit idea yeah I said because what I'm here with my friends I don't know you two the more you speak to me the less exciting this will be yeah because you'll start to get right now you're excited to meet me.

41:33Romesh Ranganathan:It's the peak. If I leave, this is as good as this interaction gets. If I leave now, you've got a great story. If you stay, then you realize what I'm actually like. You realize what I actually think about my work. You realize what I think about you for the stuff that you like. And it just becomes shit. You never meet your heroes, dude. No, absolutely. Yeah, I worry a lot that I'm super underwhelming for people. Why? Well, because when I'm with you, I'm just like, yeah, funny, funny, funny, this is it. People expect a version of you. And then when they see me, especially because I'm the more animated one out of the two of us.

42:03Yes, yes, yes. I feel like they expect a certain vibe from you and another vibe from me, whereas I'm super introverted. So if you meet me, I am very much just like, cool. Hot. Yeah, yeah.

42:13Romesh Ranganathan:But I do think you scratch the itch when you're doing your podcast. I scratch the itch when I'm doing stand-up. Yeah. So I don't have a desire to be center of attention when I'm not doing those things. Yes, completely agreed. And so then somebody comes and talks to you and they go, how come you're not all singing or dancing? Yes. Well, how come you're not making pizza now? Yeah.

42:35Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, literally. I think that you sort of get rid of that. You almost get rid of that. Do you know what I mean? And so then when I'm at the pub, I've had people tell me I'm disappointing in person. And they're right. They are right though, because they want you to be like on. Do you know what I mean? And you're just not gonna be. Yeah, and also like, they're a fucking stranger. Also true. You're a stranger. How many strangers a day do you just, apart from me though, you're stopping me, that you're just on for a random in the street. The maddest one, it wasn't the maddest one, but the one that pops into my head is I was in a card shop and this woman came in and she said, my husband's outside, he's with a pushchair, but he really wants your photo.

43:14Romesh Ranganathan:Can you come out and do the photo with him? And I was like, yeah, sure. So I come out, but obviously I'm in a card shop. There are 10 minutes I've got to make this selection. I left it super late. So I'm stressed. I go out to do the photo and then she goes to me, so you're a comedian right I go yeah and she goes it's just you haven't really been I was expecting to be funnier in this what and I was like that's insanity I couldn't fucking believe it oh my god people's expectations are crazy I was like well I was buying a card I said I've come out here to take the photo I said I've got no gear on that yeah yeah yeah I didn't know what to say to you yeah oh that's fucking rough man is it because you guys like with like the cold babies like they pay.

43:59Does that make it harder? You know, especially if it's like with those guys, do you feel like you, not owe them, but you know what I mean? Is there a pressure? I think like when they introduce themselves and they're like, oh, I pay for a Patreon or I'm a baby or whatever, there is like a barrier that drops down and I realise like, oh, okay, this person is invested.

44:17Romesh Ranganathan:You're invested. I do actually feel like, oh, I do, I literally do owe you. Yeah. Yeah. And I want to make, I want to make the effort for them to have like the experience. But then there's other times we went to watch someone like, we went to like the Apollo one time to watch someone. And then on the intermission, we went upstairs to get a drink. And on the way down, we must have had to take 50 photos. And I was losing it. And then we get down to the bottom of the stairs and some woman's like, don't know who you are, whatever. I saw everyone taking pictures. Let me grab a picture. And I was like, nah.

44:49That's fair. Yeah. You don't know what's on. I don't know who you are. And then she was like, huh, very funny. and she just went like to take the picture and I was like dodging out the way of the camera I was like dude no at the very least ask someone or like do like make the smallest amount of effort before you take something from me right now and that's like the only difference is when as soon as someone's like oh James Fuhad like you at least know enough to be like I know their name then I'm more than happy to always be like fuck yeah like let me try and make an effort but when they're like oh I feel like I know you.

45:26Can I take a picture? Were they doing that as a bit?

45:27Romesh Ranganathan:Because sometimes I have people come up and go, there's some people over there so that you're famous. I don't know who the fuck you are. This woman, I don't think it was a bit. No, she was like 64 years old. I don't know. She had no clue. Yeah, she had no clue. And then she was like, I'm taking this fucking picture whether you like it or not. And then show it to who? Literally. She was literally like, I think she literally said, I'll probably get some branding points from like my nieces and nephews or something. I'm sure they'll know you, but I'm taking the picture. I was like, nah, dude. it's rough yeah I had a thing where I did I did a stand every now and again I like think of 10 minutes of new shit and I just phoned up my mate and go can I come to the club tonight and try out this stuff and it was a Sunday night I was at home with Lisa and the kids and I was like I've got this bit I do want to go and try it so I phoned my mate and go can I come down to the club and try this out and I was thinking fuck I'm giving up a Sunday evening but I'm convinced by this bit right so I went to the club did the bit absolutely died like ate shit for 10 minutes like tucked into it knife and fork fuck everything properly fucking so as I'm doing I cannot fucking believe I have left my wife and children to come and fucking eat shit in front of this audience so I was pissed off and then after I did my set I was like I've got to get the fuck out of it because this is even being in this room is depressing the fuck out of me so I'm walking like through the crowd and these these three lads come up and go oh mate Romesh can we get your photo and I go yeah sure so I'm sitting with the photo and I'm just stood there like I need to go I need to go I'm having a fucking episode, basically.

46:54Romesh Ranganathan:And then the guy goes, are you going to smile or what? And then I went, do you want this fucking photo or not? I just instantly said it without thinking. I just snapped in the moment. And then I was like, oh, fuck. And then I took the photo and I walked away. And I thought, well, that's three people now that forever, if anybody mentions me or anything, they're going to go, that guy's a fucking helmet. And I respect, I do get it. because that's the thing you don't I think you like listen I know it's a bit like complaining that your diamond shoes are too tight about getting recognised and all that but you have to as soon as you're meeting somebody like that you have to be aware that this is this is one of a number of occasions like this for you this is the one time this might be the one time in their lives they're going to meet you it's really tricky do you know what I mean it's super difficult to navigate and that's why I think we try our best to have like a real low barrier of entry of like what we think is like cool and not cool and what we're trying but the idea outright telling me, I don't know who you are and I also don't give a fuck.

47:53That's enough for me to be like, nah, I'm good. But yeah, we try, we always say, because there's times where like, you being a solo act, don't know how you do it. Most people being solo act don't know how they do it because I need this guy so badly. Where like that same time where we were taking picture after picture after picture after picture after picture, and I would turn to him and be like, dude, I'm like, I'm losing it. And I would start like tapping it like that. And then I need him there to be like, bro, it's cool. Like, we're going to get through this. And like, I think if I didn't have him, I would just never, ever leave my house.

48:24Like ever, ever, ever.

48:26Romesh Ranganathan:But then monetizing the friendship as you have done. Not right. Yeah. In layman's terms. Yeah. Does that sometimes when you make something work, turn something into work, it can jeopardize it? Like, how have you found that negotiating that friendship? Nah, I don't think anything we've done has jeopardized our friendship. because we've understood each other for so long. It's one of those ones where I understand his strengths. He understands my strengths and we just know what works best for the business. And sometimes a lot of the time, to be honest, the business doesn't affect our friendship. The friendship affects our business in a positive way.

49:00Romesh Ranganathan:So yeah, it's never really the other way around. So you've never had a thing where like, you've never fallen out or anything like that? No, like I was saying this already, because like - He's annoyed, he's bored. He wants - You want some gossip? As soon as he said no, I was like, for fucks sake. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like it. Yeah, he's like 15 minutes. This is it. Now I'm gonna hear about how solid. I don't wanna fuck y 'all. We're so solid enough. Nothing's ever come close. It's just fucking what a load of shit. Anyway, trot it out. Let's hear it. Yeah, I hear it bro. We'll just fucking get the scissors out for this.

49:29Are you wishing there was more conflict? Why? I don't, I'm just trying to appease this fucking... Finish the sentence, this fucking what? I lost it. I don't know. You seem like a real nice guy. I don't even know what. What do you want to say? I'm sorry. I didn't want to say anything. Nah, there's just never been anything. There's just like, for one, you are a big part of that. You're the most easygoing person of all time. I try to be. Which can be annoying sometimes. The only time we have spats is where I feel like he just does not give a shit. And there'll be times where I feel bad because there's so many times where you're like, I'm not fussed, I'm not fussed.

50:05And that makes our lives easier overall where we can be like, yeah, cool, cool, cool, cool. and there'll be other times where you'll be like, oh, I'm not fussed. And I'll be like, can you fucking be fussed for once? Like actually be fussed. But it never turns into argument because you're just like, he's, oh bro, it's so jarring. You can go to him and be like, I'm sick of this. And he'll be like, I understand why you feel that way. And then - Mate, I'm so like that, man. Yeah, bro. I'm so like that. You can't get a rise out of here. Yeah, bro. It's tough. But when I'm done, I'm done. Also. Oh my God, we did a shoot the other day.

50:37Yeah. That, whoa, we nearly had an argument there. We nearly had an argument the other day. So we set up. Now, okay, get it rolling. Yeah, fair. This is the shit. This is the good shit. We set up this. It hasn't come out yet, but we did a roller disco. We have this series on Patreon called SNG Does. So we just try different shit, and we tried roller disco the other day. And we had this roller skating instructor teaching us this whole routine and everything like that. and literally 30 seconds into learning this routine, Fuad took the gnarliest fall of all time. It took both my legs, bro. His legs were like above his head.

51:13Yeah, and I landed straight on my shoulder. Yeah. He stood up and he's like, I'm done. I'm done. And we were like, no, no, no. We've got like three hours more to do. And he's like, I'm done. Done, bro. And then there was no moving it. Not at all. Luckily we had to adapt.

51:29Romesh Ranganathan:Because you've made something out of it. Yeah, we made something out of it. And we had to like get him to do like a completely different routine that wasn't like moving around the ring. Okay, so you did compromise. I compromised for that. Yeah, yeah. But it was looking tacky. I just wasn't smiling anymore. I was so fucking done. I think that fall made me realize, oh, this is what I do to earn money. Yeah. That was my moment of realization. I'm a fucking joke. No. I make money because I'm a fucking joke. Fuhad, can I tell you something? Can I say something? Stop! Stop! It fucked me off so much.

52:05Romesh Ranganathan:Stop it! I'm a darn rummish. I relate to this so much, man. Fuck, man. Stop it, man. I swear, fuck it's wrong. Oh, my God. It pissed me off. I relate to this so much. Because when we do Robber Romish versus, like what you're doing, it sounds a lot. And then we did Winter Olympics, right? Oh, shit. And then you go and do this thing, and you shit at this thing, and you go and do this thing and you shit at this thing and then you look at the production team and they're like this. And you go, we're fucking clowns. Not in a good way. We're just fucking clowns. I remember once we did a ballet, right?

52:41Romesh Ranganathan:And we went in and put the training costumes on. We came out and they said, this is gold. I said, we've not done anything yet. I said, what you're saying is we look like in these outfits. And that's what's good for the show. That's what's going to go viral. Fuck, man. I had that where we were doing a travel show and they wanted us to learn skiing and so they want me to do a bit like a segment while i'm skiing i fell over i was like this is over and they were you know what producers like oh well yeah no we get your concerns we're just wondering like let's how about we how about we loop around and we and we we we get into i said no yeah no i said you're gonna have to fucking I'm gonna fucking brown up one of these Bosnians because I am not fucking skiing at all.

53:28I'm done, yeah. It's over. To be fair, that's how I felt on the, that is exactly how I felt on the Hot Ones one that we did. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I was in the bathroom puking my guts up. You were murked. Like tears streaming down my face. Couldn't stop vomiting. Like I had such searing pain like in my organs. And I'm like, yeah, it's over. Like I'm not eating another fucking chicken wing. And everyone's like, yeah, you are though. I was like, fuck you all. Fuck you all, dude. I'm dying. I am dying. And they're like, nah, bro, just keep going. And then that was my realization of like,

54:01Romesh Ranganathan:what are we doing? And then he starts seeing himself as a commodity. And then he starts looking in the mirror going, these people don't give a fuck about me, bro. They're seen as a fucking Pinocchio. Yeah, that's what I'm saying, bro. I'm solo back. Couldn't do it. Because I need you there to reassure me that, Yeah, we're in this together because I couldn't believe when these lot were like, yeah, eat my wings, bro. Keep going. Marvel Television's Wonder Man. An eight-episode series. Now streaming on Disney+. A superhero remake. Not exactly what we'd expect from an Oscar-winning director. Action!

54:33Simon Williams. Audition for Wonder Man. I'm going to need you to sign this. Assuming you don't have superpowers.

54:42Romesh Ranganathan:I'll never work again if anyone found out. My lips are sealed. Marvel Television's Wonder Man. All eight episodes now streaming. Only on Disney+. Do you hear that? Sounds like breakfast is ready. Because Quaker's coming in hot with morning nutrition. 100 % whole grain oats. And a good source of fiber. To fuel the rhythm of your morning and kickstart your day. And that sounds absolutely delicious. Fuel to start whatever's next. Quaker, official sponsor of FIFA World Cup 26.

55:22Romesh Ranganathan:Now, one of the things, like, to be, I want to be completely honest with you. When I first saw your clips, I thought, I thought you were funny. But. There's always a caveat with you. But. Come on. When I first saw your clips, I thought you were funny. But I wondered if you were, like, laddie, right? To be honest with you, when I first saw your clips. And what I mean by that is like, you know, banter. Do you know what I mean? And then when I watched it more, I realized actually what you're doing is really fucking important, actually. And I actually, you know, I'm a father of three boys. And I think that them watching you is actually a really positive thing because what you're showing is male friendship.

56:05Romesh Ranganathan:and I want my kids to accept, to be open to what male friendship involves and all of that. And I think that it's clear that you're really good friends, but I think the stuff that you talk about is beneath all the laughter and all of that. And I know that's the main thrust of a lot of what you do is two people that will talk about anything and be open to each other and be open about your love for each other. Do you know what I mean? And I think that's a really positive thing. Thank you. But genuinely, I do think that. Is that something that happened organically or is that just because that's how you guys are as friends and how important, I imagine you've got blokes coming up to you saying a version of what I just said to you in terms of your friendship.

56:45Romesh Ranganathan:Is that something you feel strongly about? So I would say, me personally, James is more open outside of the pods to talk about like, appreciate you bro, love you bro type situation. Whereas I slowly started to adopt that norm of mentality during the show. I felt like we've always, we've been friends for such a long time and we've always appreciated each other for such a long time. But I think once we got into business with each other and actually started to like grow as a company and grow as a business, it really made me double down on how much I actually care for this guy and like want to show my appreciation and sometimes talk about it on the show or even like send him a message or whatnot.

57:24He's more that way naturally, whereas I had to like learn how to be that way a bit more, which is also a good thing.

57:31Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. I mean, it's tricky because I feel like I'm probably a bit more like you in terms of I do really care about people and, you know, I love my friends and stuff, but I'm not necessarily, I wouldn't necessarily express it as much as I should do. And sometimes my friends have to train me to do it. Do you know what I mean? And actually, it looks like you don't care, but you do. And that's something that I've not struggled with, I wouldn't say, but I don't give out a lot. Do you know what I mean? And I think actually it's good to be able to share those sort of things. It's good to let people know what you feel and stuff like that.

58:07Romesh Ranganathan:And I think that, you know, men and women, but men get lonely. Do you know what I mean? And I think seeing friendships work and men looking out for each other, I think is a really important thing. Yeah. I think we got like super lucky in our friendship group because the main crux of our friendship, there's five of us. And I don't know how we got into the cycle of it, but very early on we were just like super open about shit that we were struggling with. And like, I know for me, I've always been someone that like, I can only cope with difficult situations by making a joke out of it. And I think that like very early on, we were that way inclined, but anything like tragic that was happening in our lives would be like, you guys will never guess what just happened.

58:51Whereas most people would just be like, I want to be in my room alone and just cry. I would need to be there like, you'll never guess that I just found out that my girlfriend's been fucking this guy. And I would need that to like happen and have everyone get the last out. And it just became this like cyclical habit of everyone just like being very open about their feelings and super supportive. And it was only later on in life where I had other friendships where like I had one guy that comes to mind who's a close friend of mine and he had been in a relationship for like a year and a half. And like one day, like he just, he was telling me just how utterly miserable he was and how depressed he was and how like he can't go to work in the morning.

59:30He's down like a stone of weight because he's suffering so much. And I was like, damn dude, like who have you been talking to? And he was like, who the fuck am I supposed to talk to? And I was like, what? Do you not have friends?

59:42Romesh Ranganathan:And he was like, like they'll just rip the piss out of me. Like I can't talk to my friends. And I was like, fuck dude. Like I didn't know that's just like normal male friendships. It's like dudes just like take it on and they can't talk to their girlfriend about it because they'll be a pussy. Don't want to talk to their mom about it because why am I crying to my mom? Can't talk to their friends about it because they'll just rip the piss out of them and it's just like, hell. I do think men have improved. I do think so. But I think that we're still in a situation where if you wanted to talk to one of your male friends about something, you'd have to talk to them on a one-to-one basis.

1:00:12Romesh Ranganathan:Because if you bring it up in a group, God help you. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Rest your soul. Yeah, 100%. You've got yourself a new nickname. Yeah, 100%. You're fucked. If you took any of those people that were joining... Because a lot of the time, when men are taking the piss out of one of the group, they're just so delighted it's not them. So they would just zero in and fuck you to dust if it means that the focus is not on me. But if you took any one of those people and spoke to them individually, I do feel like they'd be like, shit, man, I don't know. 100%, yeah. That was like a video we reacted to the other day where a guy was bringing a tray of beers to his mates and he tripped and dropped them and everyone was like, ugh, dickhead.

1:00:55And then one of his mates just went round and just yanked his pants. Just to finish him. I was like, that is guy friends that's to a T.

1:01:05Romesh Ranganathan:Fucked. Have you been across the manosphere and all of that? Not as much as I probably should have. I don't know why I should have, but like, nah, not really. I haven't watched the doc. I haven't watched the movie doc. we had Louis on the podcast I was just wondering just because it's like a thing that I just think when you're because imagine a lot of your fans are young men do you know what I mean my boys are sort of lucky enough that they I say lucky enough I don't know they think that all those they're not into it in that way but I think it's like a an ongoing thing isn't it this whole Manosphere thing you know like in terms of men in terms of what men's desired outcomes are which is smashing as much as possible having an amazing car being allowed to cheat as much as you like without your other, you know, all of those kind of things.

1:01:53Romesh Ranganathan:I like being upheld as the things. But if you've not looked into it, there's no reason why you should. You bet. Okay. We're going to play a little game now called Misquoted.

1:02:11Romesh Ranganathan:It's misquoted. Okay. I'm going to say five things that one of you might have said, and you just have to tell me whether you said it or not. Okay. I think I'll be good at this. I'm not so sure. Okay. Are you ready? This is your first one. It could be either of you. Okay. All right. Did one of you say, I wish I had a foot fetish? Yeah, I definitely said that. Yeah, James said that. Yeah, I definitely said that. James, you said it on the Staying Relevant podcast. Oh, wow. Sounds like you really were trying to stay relevant. Why do you want a foot fetish and how did you, Fuhad, how did you know that James said that?

1:02:48Romesh Ranganathan:I just remember him saying it. I think I said it more than one. Why do you want a fetish? I'm pretty convinced I want... It's not just about the fetish. It's not specifically about the fetish. I want all the fetishes. Oh, I see. Broaden the horizon. Yeah, I just want to broaden my sexual horizons, basically. So are you pretty straight-laced, then? I'm not like... I wouldn't say... I'm not vanilla, by any means, but I don't have anything that's out there. Sure. And I just wish I did, because that would just be cool. Yeah, it would be cool. But then it would be cool. I agree with you. Yeah. And listen, you're talking to a guy who's been married for 15 years.

1:03:23Romesh Ranganathan:So my wife and I very much settled down to the three things we like. And we just rotate. It's like, you know, when families have like four meals they eat through the week. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? I know exactly what you mean. That's very much where I am sexually. Okay. You know, should we do this one now? We'll do a bit of this one for a bit. And then you fancy trying a bit of this one. Cool. And then we've got one left. Yeah. Let's try that one. And then sleep. Yeah. I would love to. It would be great to have something else. suggest you have to broach the topic, Damien, that's quite tricky.

1:03:48Yeah, but like you said, you've been married for 15 years, I'm sure she'd be like, probably grateful for... A bit of variety.

1:03:53Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. Yeah, she's got that look in her eyes. I think she would, you know. Yeah, this guy can still surprise me. Wow, that's attractive. After 50 minutes. Yeah, I might get up. This guy can still surprise me. Wow, that's horrifying. I didn't realise I didn't know him at all. I mean, that's the other way that could go. That's true. Foot fetish is a lot though, isn't it? I don't know that that's a lot. I've heard of in comparison to some fetishes. No, no, no, but what I'm saying is like, I just don't think feet are for public display. Like, would you ever wear - Mine not. Do you wear open-toed sandals and stuff?

1:04:24No. No, I haven't in a while. But yeah, my feet aren't for display. But again, like, my mindset at the time was, imagine how cool it would be being turned on by a foot. Oh my goodness. Like, at so low level. Yeah, yeah. Like, it's just easy. Wouldn't that be an absolute nightmare? I mean, we need to think about it. Potentially, yes. Potentially, yes. Like, you're just like walking out in summer. Yeah, no, no. But then I think you can make your, that's a frenzy. Yeah. Like it needs to be contextual. I also think you can like make a game out of it though. You go to a water park, you got a massive fucking razor.

1:04:54Romesh Ranganathan:That's disgusting. Just to see so many food. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. That's a frenzy dude. You can control yourself. Yeah. Yeah. Be civilized. You're talking about becoming, you're talking about becoming some sort of fucking animal. Yeah, you're right. You're right. Get it under control James. Sorry buddy. Foot fetish. not you fucking have to rub one out every time you see a foot. Okay. So you did say that. Well done, you're one for one. Here's your next one. Sharing a hotel room with James was the worst thing I've ever done in my life. No one's ever said that. Nah, my father would never say that.

1:05:28Romesh Ranganathan:Okay. You didn't say that. Correct. Well done. But you did say that something else was the worst thing I've ever done in my life. Can you remember what it was? I've probably said that loads of times.

1:05:41So it could be anything. I don't know. I've probably said that loads of times.

1:05:44Romesh Ranganathan:This in particular was smelling salt. Oh my God. Have you ever tried that? Yeah, I have. You have? Jesus. Yeah, I did. It's horrible, right? Well, I didn't go for a proper - Oh, bro, it gets you here. And the crown. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're paying right here. The point of it is to get you charged up, right? Yeah. To lift some weights or something. Yeah, I don't know. I didn't see that relation. The last thing I wanted to do was lift weights. It floored me. It fucking floored me. How heavy did you go? It wasn't crazy. I don't think it was crazy. You held it like here. Just laugh, out of breath, or inhale, rub.

1:06:25Romesh Ranganathan:What a horrible day that was. How long was the recovery afterwards? Oh, like 30 seconds. But it's the 30 seconds from hell. 30 seconds from hell, yeah. It's intense. Yeah. They're learning to be like bringing you back into, like boxers use them, don't know if they've been knocked out. Oh, if you were knocked out and you put it under your nose, 100 % you're coming back from the dead. Yeah, you're waking up. Oh geez. Yeah. Is there anybody that you'd really love on the podcast you haven't had? Ramesh. Yeah, I was going to say that. Come on guys. Seriously. You're a cool guy, man. Yeah. I'd love to go on the podcast.

1:06:53Romesh Ranganathan:Would you really though? Yeah, 100%. Okay, great, great, great, great. Just, yeah, it's not happening. No, of course. It's not. It is fine. No, I did that as a bit. I promise you. I'm giving you my word now. If you're being real about me coming on the podcast. We don't tell jokes. Okay. All the time. Okay. All the time. I'm in. Here's your next one. On life before the podcast, that's the context of this. We were poor, bro. We were sleeping in our car. Nah. Nah. Did you say that? Nah. I have not said that. I mean, I have slept in my car. We've slept in my car. but I don't think that's what we would have said.

1:07:34Nah, we were poor, bro. We were sleeping in our car. Nah, fuck that. Nah, that sentence hasn't been said.

1:07:38Romesh Ranganathan:No, no, no, no. That sentence hasn't been said. Very, very good. It's sort of a version of this. Yeah. James, you said in a Kiss Extra interview in 2024, we were poor. It was tuna pasta day in and day out. Yes, well, that's true. That's incredibly true. That was months of that. And then you went on to talk about how you became topless barman. Yep, buffers in the buff. Yep. In the buff. Yeah, it was not topless, it was naked. Yeah, topless and a butler's in the buff, yeah. Yeah, we were struggling. So why are you completely naked? An apron, you've got a little apron. An apron, yeah. And some cuffs.

1:08:09And a dickie bow tie. What was that like? It was... Ups and downs, dude. Ups and... Very interesting. It was eye-opening. Yeah, I really did... At times, I really did feel like I was selling flesh. Yeah, but the money was good.

1:08:22Romesh Ranganathan:I've got a friend who's a butler in the buff. Interesting. Until now? Does it part-time? Okay. Up until this day. But I mean, he's actually like... He's got a day job, but he just keeps doing it because he enjoys it. Wow. Fair enough. You know what? It works for some people. It looks quite brutal to me. It can be brutal. It depends on the people. Yeah. We were really young doing it as well. I think we were too young to do it. Feels like boundaries are not being respected. Yeah. I got my arse bitten by a... There you go. Yeah. Mother of the Bride one time. I was chopping up limes. Mother of the Bride?

1:08:50Mother of the Bride. I was at a hen party and I was chopping up some limes for their drinks and I had a searing pain in my arse cheek. I turned around. She was on her hands and knees biting my ass and just giggling and just laughing and there's nothing a thing as well with the like I don't know but I don't like I mean that feels fucking weird it was fucking weird and you don't have any like with um I know with like uh if it's like uh girls they obviously you'd have like loads of security yeah but the guys like I was just 19 they'd just send you into like you're a 19 year old kid they send you into a house of like 30 women on a hen do and just figure it out

1:09:26Romesh Ranganathan:mother of the bride okay mother of the bride biting a 19-year-old's arse cheek. Oh, yeah, dude. Rough. She went on to become... It's a sex offender, isn't it? You're biting a 19-year-old's arse cheek. Yeah, it was rough. Like, it was Mother of the Bride, I'm assuming, like, what, late 30s, probably, right? Oh, Mother of the Bride. Early... So, mid-40s. Late 40s. Early 50s. Yeah, early 50s. 50s, yeah. 60s. 70. Could be anything. 70? How old are these fucking people getting married? I'd say she's about 50. I was trying to be conservative. I wasn't. I mean, I grew up in Crawley. But, so that is, that's like, that's nonce adjacent, isn't it?

1:10:08Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, for sure, dude. I know it's a false equivalence, but if you heard a 55-year-old man bit a 19-year-old girl's arse cheek. Yeah, jail immediately. 100%. Immediately. Yeah, immediate jail. That's not even banter. It was rough. If that woman's fucking, well, she's probably dead now, but. Shame on you, you fucking pedo. Okay.

1:10:37Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, it was tough. Tough job. I can't believe I guess late 30s for mother of the... Yeah. I was confused, bro. Fucking mad. Okay. Here's your last one. All right. Honestly, if I was that... This is quite difficult, just to give you... Okay. Honestly, if I was that way inclined, probably not.

1:10:58It sounds like something you would say. I know exactly where this from. Honestly, if I was that inclined, probably not. I asked you, if you were gay, would you fancy me? And then you said, if I was that inclined, probably not because you want someone with darker skin. This was on a guest episode, wasn't it? No, I don't think it was. Was it on our show? I think it was just like a normal episode. Oh yes, there's a clip. We did a clip, yes. I said this to James.

1:11:20Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, I can't believe you got that. Yeah, well done. It's starting, I remember it. Do you want to see still feel like that? Yeah. He's not your type? If I was gay, nah. Is Fuhad your type? I won't be, I'm not afraid of him. I think you also said like you'd want like someone a bit like sweeter, like less masculine, I guess. Did I say that? I'm putting words in your mouth. Yeah, I think so. I'm just coping. Yeah, that's what that is. It's hard. It's tough. It's really tough because you guys love each other. Yeah. Nah, he wouldn't be my type. He wouldn't be your type either. Nah, but for those reasons.

1:12:03It feels like you're sort of saying that because he said it first. That's exactly what happened in the episode. Yeah. When I said he wouldn't be my type, he was like, yeah.

1:12:09Romesh Ranganathan:Because I would like, because I do a podcast with Tom Davis and let me tell you something, if I was that Ryan Glenn, I'd smash his fucking back doors. Really? Wow, fair enough. He's a big old bear of a man. And you think you'd be the top? Nah, I wouldn't. Do you know what, James? All it took was one question for me to fold. There's no fucking way. I would be like a garnish to his genitals. Oh my God. Wow, what a visual. A garnish. A garnish. That's so disgusting. Spin me on the end of his dick like a Catherine wheel. Wow. Yeah, fair enough. Yeah, wowee. Yeah, okay, great. It's a shame to say something like that so late on in the pod.

1:12:51Romesh Ranganathan:I nearly escaped without humiliating myself. Anyway, it's time for the end. It's the end. We're almost at the end. You guys have been fantastic. Fantastic guests. Thank you for having us. Now, we'd like to end the podcast on a big moment. Now, obviously, you create viral moments all the time. We'd love like some sort of exclusive, a dream you've got, a hidden talent, something you haven't said publicly before, if possible. And I know that's difficult for you too. Yeah, we've said a lot. Yeah, we have said a lot. I have, okay, can I be honest about something? Go on, of course. I think you kind of know about this.

1:13:22Yeah. And I'm not going to use the word fetish. But again, adjacent. I am obsessed. And it's not a sexual thing. Okay. Yet. Okay. I do feel like it's a slippery slope.

1:13:38Zit popping videos. I can't get enough. I've actually. You've told me about it. That makes no sense to me, bro. I've fallen into farm animal cyst popping stuff. Oh my God. Are you serious? I'm dead ass, bro. They will get a cow that has a monster cyst and stab it with a human real knife And you should see the past that comes out of this thing it goes on for at least three minutes of us your Like what what's the what's the sensation you feel? Satisfaction is the sensation I feel Damn, yeah, it's just like a release like wow I can feel how good it must feel for them to get that Yeah, yeah. And then when the farmer's like, fucking hell, that stinks.

1:14:19I'm like, oh, I bet that's been festering for weeks.

1:14:22Romesh Ranganathan:Does that make it better? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's what I'm into, man. How do you feel about that for now? The thing is, I didn't know what he was going to say, but he said this to me before. I'm equally as disgusted now as I was then. I sort of get the people one. Because I think like we've all felt what it's like to have spots and then you'll kind of... So I get that. The cow thing, watching somebody stab a cow's sister with a knife, that's slightly too strong a flavour for my taste yeah I get the thing is I'm self aware enough that I get it you showed incredible self awareness about that whole thing because it is strange but I get it I do get it can I just ask a question do they show any aftercare I've had the patching them up and stuff because that feels like if it's that size it feels like it leaves some sort of crater or something basically what happens is they stab it they get all the pus out and then they'll get like they'll go like this on the couch I start massaging from like a meter away and get all of the gunk out.

1:15:18And then almost like the placenta comes out afterwards, like the actual cyst capsule, and they have to get that like after birth out and then they'll stitch it up. God.

1:15:28Romesh Ranganathan:I cannot believe. Yeah, it's a thing. Can you imagine if you had a spot so big it had a fucking after birth? Oh my. It's not. It's over. Yeah. It's rough. It's rough. But yeah, sorry. That's yours. Do you know why we're not watching to do with animals is physiotherapy. You know like when there's a dog and it's going... Yeah, I've seen that. Fucking flubber. I'm a sucker for, this is weird, and I've said this on one of the reacts that we've done before. I'm a sucker for a weight loss transformation. I don't know why. And the thing is, what I hate is the tease. if it's a transformation, it should be 10 seconds.

1:16:14Don't show me a minute long of January to February. Show me January to December. I don't give a fuck about the middle. I wanna see you go from fat to henge. Do you know what really fucks me off

1:16:24Romesh Ranganathan:is when they jump a month and you go, then nothing's changed. Nothing yet. There's literally nothing. I hate when I stumbled on a day three and I'm thinking for fuck's sake. I don't give a fuck, but I'm a sucker for a weight loss transformation. Oh my God, it's so good. And then I'm sucker for going back in six months. They put it all back on. Am I right? Val J. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. Please, could you give it up for the fantastic James and Fuhu? Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Yo, thanks for watching and listening to the Romesh Ranganathan Show. Sup, y 'all?

1:16:57Romesh Ranganathan:It's genuinely lovely that so many of you keep coming back, but I'm hearing rumours, naive hearsay, and conjecture that some of you haven't subscribed yet. If you haven't, now's the time. Follow the show wherever you get your podcasts so you don't miss episodes. We've got new episodes every Monday and Thursday. Monday's a big guest conversations where we talk about what they're up to and have a laugh. And Thursday's a me and my mum, Shanthi, answering your questions and family dilemmas as well as burning off any self-esteem I've got knocking about. So I'll see you on Thursday when mum takes over.

1:17:28Romesh Ranganathan:If you've got a problem, a story, or a family dilemma, send it to podcast at rangaby.com. Voice not or text us on 07731 623355. That's 07731 623 355. We love getting you involved and you might hear yourself on a future episode. Plus, it means less content for us to generate. See you next time.