The Australia Special

22:15Of course we are and we'll get straight to you

22:17Romesh Ranganathan:after all we're not here to fuck spiders No Now we're going to

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24:12So good, so good, so good.

24:13Romesh Ranganathan:We're going to do a bit of audience interaction. We're going to do some messages and voice notes from the listeners. If our advice isn't good, please don't spit the dummy. We're trying our best. That was, I'm using a phrase. Yeah. Yeah. And my mum's advice won't always be great because you've got a few roos loose in the top paddock. Yeah. Yeah. I have. There you go. See? Yeah. A reminder that you can always text or WhatsApp us on 07731 623355. Or you can email us on podcast at rangaby.com. That doesn't sound like Australian. Say it properly like an Australian. Podcast at rangaby.com. Here we go.

24:50Romesh Ranganathan:And don't forget, if you haven't already, please like and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. So when this Bonser special, all of our questions are coming from Australian. Oh, fuck. Let's get to the first question. This is from Tim from the Gold Coast in Australia. Hey, guys. Tim from Australia. here in Australia we have a bunch of different to describe different people Ramesh you're a funny cunt Shanti you're a good cunt Ben you're smart John you're an annoying cunt and frankly Will you're a weird cunt so my question to you guys today is what is your favourite type of cunt what is it Tim absolutely smashed it what a great cunt so he's just saying different types of cunt Because isn't like...

25:41Romesh Ranganathan:I mean, what are we going to do with all these... You're going to have to bleep them all. Yeah. There's going to be a lot of bleeping. We could maybe use another word in its place to make it bleeping easier. Okay. Motherfucker? It's easier. Yeah. Our mother is here, okay? That's true, actually. Yeah. Anyway, so the word is in America is extremely offensive. In the UK, less offensive. In Australia, even less offensive than that, right? So they're just constantly calling each other, he's a funny c**t, he's a silly c**t, he's a nice c**t. When they talk, they use it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, he's silly, okay.

26:16Romesh Ranganathan:So would you ever use the C-bomb, Mum? If I'm really angry, I will. I don't think I've ever heard you, I know that you're always saying that I swear a lot. Yeah. And I do. Yeah. But you swore a lot when we were growing up. Yeah. You swear a lot, but I've never heard you say the C-word. C-word. Have you ever used it in anger? Yes, I have. When one of the women I called her with dad, I called her...

26:55Romesh Ranganathan:Okay. What a colourful story. You asked me a question. Yeah, I did ask you a question. I would say you really got very nuts and bolts anecdote, I would say. but that's Tim one of the best voice notes we've ever had really great, really loved it Tim thank you so much, okay, shall we have another one I can't believe you got to be smart no one's questioning that actually let's get into this actually so what did they say you're smart I think I was the smart one I'm a good I am you got funny didn't you John's an annoying Yeah. Why is that? Why is that? Is that because you laugh and everything you say?

27:36Romesh Ranganathan:I think so, yeah. Will, you're a what? Weird. God, how does he know living in Brisbane? He's a... Oh. Yeah. Yeah. He's a bad, bad...

27:56What do you think calling my team a... Good...

28:01Romesh Ranganathan:No, he's... It's not insulting. It is insulting, man. He can keep that in Australia. Okay. Mum, he was being nice. I'm so sorry. Mum's a bit of an angry. I'm with Chanty on this one. Yeah, of course you are, because you've got annoying. You're happy. It just is what it is, isn't it? It's a compliment. People think what they think. Yeah, I actually don't. I think his descriptions are spot on. and ben does too it's only john and will that got a problem with it no he's all right with it yeah okay should we hear the next one yeah okay hi ramesh and shanty auntie vajaytha here from sydney australia um obsessed with the show i saw a clip on instagram a couple of months ago of the both of you fighting about something i think was fighting about being friends and it just I knew that the show was for me um yes so my question is kind of to the both of you and kind of about your relationship and I really want to hear the story about maybe the first time you both felt comfortable enough saying fuck to each other or in front of each other because in my family being South Asian and like in most of the other South Asian families here in Australia that I know, it would just, it would never happen.

29:27I'd get like a tight backhand if I ever swore in front of or at my parents. So I'm just like, I'm so delighted and scandalized by your relationship and just want to know, like, was there an event where it changed? Or did it just kind of happen over time and you can't remember when you got that comfortable with one another really curious to know love the show um you both inspire me to call my parents more often okay bye oh thank you thank you she put her phone under her armpit there just at the end of

30:00Romesh Ranganathan:that message um also the way can i just say if you're planning on saying fuck in front of your parents the way you said it was was so much i think there are different ways of saying the word fuck yeah and you went the first time you said the word fuck like you you really she really gave it a lot didn't she so when's the first time you said fuck and she was like when's the first time you said fuck so i thought that i think that's part of the problem um when's the first time we said fuck in front of each other mom that's a joke we fuck all romance i say yeah i don't think we don't take it seriously no i don't think those swear words don't have the same power in our house as they might do.

30:44Romesh Ranganathan:So for us, it wasn't a thing of being, obviously, like if you were, when we were, like when we were really young kids, then we wouldn't be allowed, not wouldn't be allowed, we just never said those words. But as you get older, I guess, you, I just don't think, I don't know. I think you swear more than dad used to. Didn't dad, did dad used to swear a lot? Because dad did loaty things and he doesn't swear. Let's try and just keep it light. Okay. So, But you swore a lot. I did. The life I had. What do you expect from me? Okay, so mum, yeah, again, can we try and keep it off the... We don't have to drag everything back to what happened.

31:25Definitely, no, it's not nice. Yeah, I know, I know. I take your advice.

31:30Romesh Ranganathan:Okay, great. So you swore a lot, didn't you? I did. Yeah. I did. Dad swore a little bit. In front of me, he doesn't swear that. No. He swears in the office, I think. Yeah, I think he did. Dad was quite a sweary guy. And then he ran a pub, so there's a bit of swearing there. Are you okay, Ben? What's the problem? Nothing. Not nothing. No, you probably don't realise. What the hell are you doing? What's the problem? I've never seen Ben find anything this funny before. It's just really got me. You've never turned your head like that before. What's got you?

32:11Romesh Ranganathan:Do you swear in front of your kids? And how's that? We, so I would say our boys swear a fair bit. They do, yeah. Only in appropriate settings. They have a swearing amnesty when we're watching the football. Yeah, Alex does. The only person that really takes full advantage of that is Alex. Alex. The other two. I don't agree with that. He said, you motherfuckers. He doesn't say that, mum. Anyway, he gets a bit sweary during the football. but um i yeah i don't i don't see it as a big thing and i think saying swearing at the football is a bit different if one of my boys said like fuck you to me that's that's a very that's a really different thing and that would never happen so i think that's a bit different but like if they're swearing at the you know i kind of don't think that's that big a deal and they also know not to swear in you know in in the places where it's not acceptable and the other thing i I would say our rules on language are more relaxed at home than they are when we're out and about.

33:12Romesh Ranganathan:I don't want them embarrassing us by... I don't say outsiders. No. At home with my boys, you know, we talk about everything. And yes, for good love. And we do say, fuck off of me. Fuck you, Dinesh, I said. Did you say that? Oh, you do say that. No, you wouldn't say that when he was a kid. No. I think that's only sort of 10 and above mum would say that. Yeah. Okay. Well, thank you, Vijeta, for your email, for your message. We've now got an email from Amal and Kala in Valencia Creek, Victoria, Australia. I've never heard of Valencia Creek before. G'day, Romesh. Shanti and the Uggos. G'day. That's outrageous.

33:49Romesh Ranganathan:The Uggos. The Uggos. Wow. Uggos. Ah, enough. If you look like it should be one of those things that you can do if you're in the group, but outsiders can't start hurling abuse. I don't mind it. What do you think, Mum? What's that? about them being called aggos. What's the exact meaning of aggos? Aggos? Why don't you try and figure it out for yourself? I've not heard that word before myself. Aggos? Aggos? Look at them. It's a team? Team? No. No? Then... Look at them and think what aggo might mean. Look at them. I love them all. What do you think aggo might mean? Aggo. Supporters? Okay, that's another good guess.

34:34Romesh Ranganathan:Should we have a third one? Aggos. Look at their faces. uggos it's ugly it means ugly people that's not nice I don't like it okay but you think that's we can call you uggos Australians I would prefer it if you didn't don't get me wrong it'd be nice if you just treated us as human beings yeah you are human beings but hideous ones what do the people think of us of us we are hideous uggos yeah we're not uggos we're fucking hansos no oh yeah we're sexos no how do you do it what's the opposite we're fitos good day fitos and the aggos my parents have a beautiful golden retriever named Millie is it Millie or Miley do you think it's one L Miley because of Australia's wild and dangerous nature she needs snake training what the fuck before she's allowed to run off around the leash run around off the leash my parents have taken her to a class on snake avoidant what the hell's going on no they do snake avoidant but neglecting to train her at home with the consistency he requires.

35:35Romesh Ranganathan:My partner and I are getting frustrated and concerned. How can we convince him to be more consistent with training the dog? Many thanks, Amal and Kala. Kala is a Sri Lankan name. I don't know. Well, Amal is also an Asian name, isn't it? Yeah. This is one of the things I've always thought about dogs, actually. Because when we had Reggie and Ivy, when they were puppies, they would just wander around eating everything. And some of the stuff's poisonous. to dogs, particularly like grapes and chocolate and stuff like that. And these are things I don't understand how dogs survive because they've got no clue how to look after themselves.

36:17Romesh Ranganathan:And so what's wrong?

36:22Romesh Ranganathan:It's a good point. Yeah. So what's wrong? It's so funny. What's funny? What's funny? Just trying not to do jolty movements. Yeah, I'm just... You're purposely doing... I'm not purposely doing anything. You are running. I don't know what you're running about. So now it makes sense, because they've got loads of poisonous snakes in Australia, so they've got to train the dogs. Are you okay, mum? No. Can I tell you what I find really upsetting? Yeah. This is supposed to be funny every week, this podcast. I have never seen you or you laugh as much as me just shaking my head more than normal to make these swing about.

37:12Romesh Ranganathan:It's such an insult to what we do. Mum's crying. I am. I am. I'm not going to look at your face. I'll go straight and talk. Is that why you're holding yours like this, to stop it happening? Yeah. Why do you think that is fun? Just welcome it. Mum, do a bit of swinging. Go on. it's not as funny on you so what I don't know what the question is I've been so distracted by this hat hilarity how can we convince to be more consistent with training the dog we had this problem with Reggie and Ivy actually because what would happen is we train Reggie and Ivy the thing that dogs need is for you to reinforce the thing over and over again and then what would happen is that boys wouldn't give a shit about that and then it would undo the training Mum are you okay?

38:00yeah so

38:03Romesh Ranganathan:I think because the reason they're not being consistent is just because the dogs are cute and so they're getting kind of they're just like they can't sort of be stricken with the

38:23okay

38:30You should get a hat like this.

38:33Romesh Ranganathan:I have got a hat like this. I'm wearing it now. Put it on ready and ready. That would be very cute. No snake will come near that. When you do that, we'll put a little picture up. I'm not putting a hat on. Do you not dress them up? Sometimes when it's cold, we put the little... We've got dog coats for them and they hate it. Then it makes you feel bad. but um but i think part of the problem is is that boys feel sorry for the dogs people feel sorry for the dogs but actually what you need to say to them is that they're you're endangering their lives by not being consistent with the training and i think you know make it simple for them don't get angry don't get annoyed there's a way of explaining these things and you just say this is

39:20this is helping protect the dogs by doing this yeah i know but you you were fine up until the

39:26Romesh Ranganathan:point you got pointed out and now you're completely she's completely useless

39:34Romesh Ranganathan:time for one more we've got time for one more gabby from australia hi ramesh and shanti hi gabby my name is gabby i'm from sydney australia um i know you were wondering if you could do a live show in Australia. I think you could and you should also bring the whole team because I think that they'd love it. My question is about having more children. So I have a one-year-old and have honestly found the whole experience of becoming a parent really challenging, especially with like the no sleep. I always wanted to have a big family but now I'm kind of questioning if I want to have another child or not um I was just wondering if you had any wisdom to share about how you decided to have more than one child and um I guess if you would recommend it um or not excited to hear what you have to say Gabby thank you so much for your voice notes um mum we've got some advice Gabby Gabby is finding having a one-year-old challenging and wants to know whether she, what our advice is about having more.

40:48I think it's individual choice. I regret that I was alone. I'm a single child. I mean, I didn't have sisters or brothers. But you should give your child a company. You can't leave him on his own. When he grows up, he will regret. so please have another child and they will enjoy playing together going somewhere they'll have a friend so please please have another baby and don't leave him alone in this big world horrible world

41:26Romesh Ranganathan:okay well uplifting message uh gabby uh without any without any intended disrespect to my mom i couldn't disagree with her advice more first of all um it sounds like and i don't want to sort of infer something that isn't there but you shouldn't feel bad about finding having a child a child difficult right having children is hard and you having a one-year-old and finding it challenging because of the lack of sleep etc etc it's perfectly normal and totally understandable so don't i hope you i hope you're not you haven't said that you are but i hope you're not feeling bad about that at all parenting is hard um look i know plenty of people that are i know mom's talking about her experience i know plenty of people that are only children and have had a wonderful upbringing and are totally cool with it so it's it really is up to you what you decide to do from my point of view look how it works out for us is lisa wanted four i wanted two so we had three that was a compromise We took the mean.

42:31Romesh Ranganathan:And we've had three kids. Depends on your financial situation as well. It also depends on your financial situation. That's most important. It's not most important. It is. It is. It is most important. Financial situation is most important. If you can't afford to bring up another child, why do you want to have? Yeah, okay. But you've just said to her she has to, otherwise her child will be alone in the big bad world. I mean, in my head. So it's a bit of a 180, if you don't mind me saying. Okay. Okay. Don't get shitty about it. Try to be clever. I'm not trying to be clever. You were? I'm not. You said, honestly, you went, listen, please, please have another baby.

43:06Romesh Ranganathan:Otherwise, your child will be alone in this horrible, horrible world. And then you've gone, literally what, 90 seconds later, finances have to be in order. Otherwise, you don't have another one. So it's very difficult to know what you're actually advising. When I was talking earlier, it didn't come into my mind. Okay, fine. So a bit of advice. Just consider the advice before you say you must have another child. So Gabby, you're right. Mum's right. Finances do have their part to play. But that's not the main thing. Because, you know, if you think we've got to make sure we have enough money, you'll never feel like you have enough money to have another child.

43:41I tell you why. Because I wanted to have a girl. I wanted to have a girl. Dad said, you want to send your children to private school. If you have another child, what will you do? How can you afford it? It's still in my mind. otherwise I would have had a girl

44:00Romesh Ranganathan:Gabby the one thing I would say to you is is that having our second child was the biggest increase in challenge I would say it's not funny oh sorry it's not funny let me deliver again going from one to two was one of the most difficult added the most to the challenge sorry for smiling and laughing about that it added a lot going from two to three was a much less of an increase in challenge than going from one to two uh so i'd think carefully about that sometimes when we had our second i would look back nostalgically when we just had one and think i can't believe we thought it was difficult then now there's two of them and it's really challenging so it is a challenge Gabby but it's also they're also rewards with that as mum says it's nice for them to have company it's nice for them to be able to play with each other and you feel like you know you've got a bit of a team but equally having an only child is not something you should feel guilty about and so you should do whatever personally you think is right the other thing I would say to you is the challenges of having a one-year-old do not exponentially increase as that child gets older you're probably in you know the children continue to be challenging but you're you're in the trenches you're properly in the trenches so don't judge it based on how you're feeling right now um i would have been lighter about that but mum wanted me to give it some gravitas hence the reason i'm delivering it like this hope it helps thank you so much for your voice note take care of yourself and good luck with your future reproductive decisions she also wanted to know if we were going to go out to Australia?

45:39Romesh Ranganathan:Oh, well, first of all, we have to organise live shows over here, which we haven't done yet. Are we planning on doing live shows? Would you do them? Would I do them? Yeah. We can't do it without you. Yeah. And Shanthi, of course. He hates taking me. I don't know why. He hates taking you where? Australia. I hate taking you to Australia. Yeah. Where have you got that from? Based on what? Because based on first you went, I said, I'll come with you, Romy. You said, no, I'll be travelling around. But I will be travelling around. So last time I toured Australia, I did 14 shows in 10 days. So you want to come for that schedule?

46:19I won't come. I'll stay with my... Okay, so then we're not going together, are we? Huh?

46:24Romesh Ranganathan:We're not going together then, are we? I don't want to be a burden. Okay, well, I would change up your behaviour then. Okay, that's all we've got time for. for this Australia special. It's been fucking bonzer. I think you'll agree. It'll be fucking bonzer. Thank you to everyone for your emails and messages and your voice notes. We'll be back on Monday with another exciting guest, ideally for the team. They'd be Australian. Don't miss it. Say goodbye, Mum. Goodbye, Meg. Goodbye, mate. Suck a dick, motherfuckers. This has been the Australia special. Lit my gooch. I don't know why I thought it'd be different Are we going to do a live show?

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48:16Romesh Ranganathan:Yo, thanks for watching and listening to the Romesh Ranganathan Show. Sup, y 'all? It's genuinely lovely that so many of you keep coming back, but I'm hearing rumors, naive hearsay, and conjecture that some of you haven't subscribed yet. If you haven't, now's the time. Follow the show wherever you get your podcasts so you don't miss episodes. We've got new episodes every Monday and Thursday. Monday's a big guest conversations where we talk about what they're up to and have a laugh. And Thursday's a me and my mum, Shanti, answering your questions and family dilemmas as well as burning off any self-esteem I've got knocking about.

48:48Romesh Ranganathan:We'll see you on Monday with another brilliant guest and then mum will be back to give some great advice on Thursday, playing fast and loose with the word great. If you've got a problem, a story or a family dilemma, send it to podcast at rangaby.com, voice note or text us on 07731 623355. That's 07731 623355. We love getting you involved and you might hear yourself in a future episode. Plus, it means less content for us to generate. See you next time.