The Celebrity Impressions Challenge

2:55Shanthi Ranganathan:It doesn't for me soothing. Sandalwood is soothing. But for some other people They won't like it.

3:01Romesh Ranganathan:After you've been burning them for a while, do you have an intense craving to open a tub of Pringles?

3:06Shanthi Ranganathan:No, I don't. I don't. That's not a drug, is it?

3:10Romesh Ranganathan:What, Pringles?

3:11Shanthi Ranganathan:No, incense.

3:12Romesh Ranganathan:Incense sticks, no. Calm yourself down. You've smoked weed in the past though, haven't you?

3:17Shanthi Ranganathan:Only once at the, what's that show?

3:20Romesh Ranganathan:Just another immigrant.

3:21Shanthi Ranganathan:Great show. Great show. Yeah, lovely.

3:24Romesh Ranganathan:Ben's first contribution to compliment something he was involved in. Well done for nailing your character on this. What did you think of it, Mum? We actually had pens, didn't we? Like vapes. We did vapes.

3:43Shanthi Ranganathan:I was a bit nervous.

3:44Romesh Ranganathan:We didn't actually have a...

3:46Shanthi Ranganathan:We did have. We did have.

3:48Romesh Ranganathan:No, but what I mean is we had the electronic pens. We didn't actually. Yeah. What did you think? Is it something you'd ever do again?

3:55Shanthi Ranganathan:No.

3:56Romesh Ranganathan:Okay. No. Because you found it frightening. Frightening. You're quite giggly, though, if you remember. I was. Yeah.

4:03Shanthi Ranganathan:Yeah.

4:04Romesh Ranganathan:I don't think it's affecting me. Do you remember? That's what you like. I thought we had a good time.

4:09Shanthi Ranganathan:You enjoy mocking me, isn't it?

4:12Romesh Ranganathan:I'm not mocking you. You are. I'm celebrating how much you enjoyed it. Okay, right. Well, look, if you don't like me mocking you, I'm gonna give you an opportunity to get your own back. That's it. For the intro to the show. I want you to pretend you're me... Okay. ...and introduce the show. All right? You can do it however you want. And then just get into Welcome to the Ramesh Ranganathan Show. All right? You get it?

4:32Shanthi Ranganathan:Hello, motherfuckers! Welcome to Ramesh Ranganathan Show! With my mother, Shanti! Yay!

4:47It's the Romance, Rengar, Nathan Show.

4:53Shanthi Ranganathan:With me, Shanti.

4:55Romesh Ranganathan:This episode is brought to you by Born in Roma fragrances by Valentino Beauty, the iconic fragrance duo. Donna Born in Roma Eau de Parfum is a feminine fragrance featuring juicy blackcurrant, central jasmine, woody cashmere, and warm vanilla. Its masculine counterpart, Muomo born in Roma eau de toilette, has notes of fresh violet leaf, aromatic sage, green vetiver, spicy ginger, and mineral salt. Shop at Macy's.com

5:27Romesh Ranganathan:Smashed it. Smashed it. That was great. That might be the best one you've ever done.

5:33Shanthi Ranganathan:Am I that bad? No, no. I'm saying that was really good. Okay, okay.

5:38Romesh Ranganathan:You've got to stop interpreting things negatively. He said to himself... You are telling me.

5:43Shanthi Ranganathan:You are telling me. You're full of negativities in your whole body. Me?

5:48Romesh Ranganathan:What do you mean, my whole body? Yeah.

5:50Shanthi Ranganathan:Oh, I'm no good. I'm... Oh, my days have... What the fuck is this? People don't know that... Early morning, be happy, man. I am happy. When you are happy, your viewers will be happy.

6:02Romesh Ranganathan:Okay. Don't put them down like that. Listen, it's worked for me for over a decade not being happy.

6:05Shanthi Ranganathan:Good, good, good. Let's see.

6:08Romesh Ranganathan:I am happy, though. Really happy. Happy to be here with you. Happy to be here with the creatures.

6:12Shanthi Ranganathan:When I come to your house, you don't look happy.

6:15Romesh Ranganathan:Well, there's a reason for that.

6:17Shanthi Ranganathan:Because I'm there.

6:18Romesh Ranganathan:Correct. Correctamundo. Correctamundio. Mundial. No, do I not look happy when you come to my house?

6:27Shanthi Ranganathan:No.

6:28Romesh Ranganathan:How do you mean? You don't open yourself and,

6:33Shanthi Ranganathan:Oh, hi, Mum, how are you?

6:34Romesh Ranganathan:That's not how I am, though. You should know that by now. Hello, Mum, how are you? That's how I am. Very low pitch. What do you want me to do? Suddenly, as you arrive, I become Joel Domit. I am who I am, aren't I?

6:48Shanthi Ranganathan:What does he do? Joel Domit.

6:50Romesh Ranganathan:Joel Domit?

6:51Shanthi Ranganathan:Yeah.

6:52Romesh Ranganathan:Joel Domit is the host of The Masked Singer.

6:54Shanthi Ranganathan:I know, I know. So you don't want to be like him?

6:57Romesh Ranganathan:I'm not saying I don't want to fucking be like him.

6:59Shanthi Ranganathan:I like the way.

7:00Romesh Ranganathan:My God, he's absolutely ripped. Yeah. Handsome.

7:04Shanthi Ranganathan:Yeah. And he's loud. Why don't you try a more positive, happy Romesh greeting your mum when she comes over?

7:12Romesh Ranganathan:That's right. Like now, to see what that would. Okay, I would check your tone, first of all. Like now.

7:19Shanthi Ranganathan:Like now, yeah.

7:20Romesh Ranganathan:I would say, okay, all right, okay. Let's do it then. Okay. Mum! Yay! Oh my God, so good to see you here. Thanks for coming around. Bloody brilliant. A bit more. A bit more. More than that. Yeah, I'm all of that Fucking hell, mum Yeah Holy shit Oh my god Oh, you're here My nipples are hard It's because I'm so excited that you're here Holy shit Shit, man Yeah Mum's here Kids, come downstairs That's what I want Your grandmother's here Yay Hey Shanti's here Woo

8:02Shanthi Ranganathan:Yeah, baby Oh, shut up She's here

8:06Romesh Ranganathan:Sorry Alfie, I shouted right down your ear there. Yes! Fuck yes! Get in!

8:12Shanthi Ranganathan:Fucking come on! This is what you say. Alex, Grandma is here. Come down.

8:18Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. At least I say that.

8:19Shanthi Ranganathan:He loved to see... Alex was so close to me when I went to Hiva Casa.

8:27Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, when we went to Hiva Casa, we talked about this.

8:29Shanthi Ranganathan:Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you asked him, you are so close to Grandma, did she give you any money?

8:36Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, well that, no.

8:37Shanthi Ranganathan:Isn't that horrible? How much did she give you? And he asked for the money. He said no, a smile.

8:50Romesh Ranganathan:No, well you did give him money, didn't you?

8:52Shanthi Ranganathan:He's like, I did give him money to spend that day.

8:55Romesh Ranganathan:Mum is like, mum's like the godfather when we go out with the kids. Because you don't take the... You do what you want with that. A little 20 pounds for you, okay? You buy whatever you want. You want to get some Henry VIII souvenirs? You go and get yourself something, huh? Shut the fuck up. That's what you like. You keep giving him money for no reason.

9:15Shanthi Ranganathan:He was holding my hands and he was walking with me.

9:18Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, because you think there's more where that came from.

9:20Shanthi Ranganathan:Why is he close to her?

9:21Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. Holding hands, by the end of the day, at about 300, 400 quid.

9:26Shanthi Ranganathan:No, no.

9:30Romesh Ranganathan:I love my grandchildren. You should have a little ice cream, Magda. You know what you did have that I thought was incredible at Heva Carlson we didn't talk about? Those expanding napkin things. There you are. Holy shit.

9:42Shanthi Ranganathan:What are they? Yes.

9:43Romesh Ranganathan:You know, like they give them to your Indian restaurants? The little, they're like little, they look like mints.

9:48Shanthi Ranganathan:Tablet.

9:49Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, they look like a little tablet. Yeah, okay. All right, relax.

9:52Shanthi Ranganathan:What's the little things? Explain properly.

9:54Romesh Ranganathan:I mean, you can't interrupt me while I'm explaining and tell me to explain properly. Well, you can, you just did it. But they look like little, um... Tablets? Little, um... They look like little, um... Round one? Little round one. Yeah! They look like little round one. No, they look like little tablets, and then you put a bit of water on them, and they expand into... Expand.

10:18Shanthi Ranganathan:Become a tissue.

10:19Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. Really nice. A little wet wipe. Well, because tissues are too...

10:24Shanthi Ranganathan:I might have it in my bag. Big to take around. In my handbag. I'll give them to you, and you try. give it some people when they serve and I saw it in tik-tok anyway before before shut up room I went to the bank and I asked them to block the tick-tock account because yeah I think about yeah because they keep I must have pressed the wrong button and they keep on sending sending you subscribe to something yeah Yeah, they told me my knowledge.

10:59Romesh Ranganathan:What do you mean? So what do you keep getting?

11:01Shanthi Ranganathan:I don't have the return address. They keep on sending it.

11:04Romesh Ranganathan:Sending what? The little tablet? No, fuck off. Mum, what is going on? Why are you picking so - Body oil, body oil! Right, how am I - Oh, right, sorry, body oil. Sorry, I should have guessed it's something you haven't mentioned at all so far. How am I supposed to know that? So they're sending you, every three months they're sending you body oil?

11:21Shanthi Ranganathan:Yeah, body oil arriving and the TikTok guy comes and delivers it.

11:25Romesh Ranganathan:It's not a TikTok guy? No, sorry.

11:27Shanthi Ranganathan:The guy. The guy. The delivery person. The delivery person.

11:32Romesh Ranganathan:Agent. Okay. So there's a... A-G-E-N-T. Okay. So an agent comes around. Yeah. So... An agent.

11:41Shanthi Ranganathan:He registered with TikTok, and he's the delivery man. Okay. So whatever you need... You are a coconut. So... What's happening? We say it in your accent. Okay? What? No, I'm not... Oh. What's going on? Anyway, I went to the bank. And I said, I don't know how to block them. The beautiful lady, she said, I'll block it. So she blocked. I don't get any delivery. I can't order anything from TikTok to be good. Right. In case I buy rubbish, I can't return it.

12:17Romesh Ranganathan:The problem is, mum got raided the other day because she's got, it looks like Diddy's house. The amount of lube you got. What? How many bottles of the oil have you got now?

12:27Shanthi Ranganathan:A bag full of stuff.

12:28Romesh Ranganathan:Right.

12:29Shanthi Ranganathan:I'm going to give it to people because it'll be out of date. Don't start, Mum.

12:32Romesh Ranganathan:Don't start handing out body oil. Are you mad?

12:38Romesh Ranganathan:You can't turn up at people's house with body oil.

12:41Shanthi Ranganathan:Then I went to, they asked me to open an ISA account. ISA?

12:46Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. Who did? TikTok?

12:49Shanthi Ranganathan:No, the bank. The bank. When I went there. All right. To do something else. To do something else. While I was there, they suggested that I spoke to Dinesh, but I don't have... I never get on... I mean, can't... you won't answer my phone calls. Explain yourself! It's annoying, isn't it? You won't answer my phone calls anyway. You should do. Yeah, you just ignore it.

13:09Romesh Ranganathan:Okay.

13:09Shanthi Ranganathan:That's why you change the colour to the black mark instead of blue. What are you talking about? Because when you send a message, if you have seen it, the blue colour comes in there. Now you change it to black.

13:20Romesh Ranganathan:I haven't changed it.

13:20Shanthi Ranganathan:You have! It doesn't go into blue.

13:22Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, maybe that means I haven't actually seen it.

13:25Shanthi Ranganathan:That's a lie.

13:26Romesh Ranganathan:Okay.

13:27Shanthi Ranganathan:Yeah, you can adjust the thing. Yeah.

13:29Romesh Ranganathan:So I said to them, this is what I said at the bank.

13:34Shanthi Ranganathan:I said, listen to me, shut up. Then I said to him, my both boys haven't given my approval to do that. but I want to ask something else which you can help me so I said how do I get the money from America because one of the comments in the podcast they said speak to your bank manager he'll be able to he said I'll print out all your what's that bank statement and you email them and tell them everything explained to them you might have a chance that they can transfer the money to my account.

14:23Romesh Ranganathan:All right. Good luck with that.

14:26Shanthi Ranganathan:Yeah, another negative...

14:28Romesh Ranganathan:Well, I said good luck with that. Okay. Can I be honest with you? I think some of the fault here is with you. You've come into here with quite an aggressive attitude.

14:36Shanthi Ranganathan:I'm not aggressive. Adrenaline. Seeing you, that's the word. Aggressive is the wrong word.

14:44Romesh Ranganathan:So you're pumped with adrenaline because we're together?

14:46Shanthi Ranganathan:Because we are together. Okay. Yeah. Not everybody can get that chance, man. So I'm blessed.

14:53Romesh Ranganathan:Such a rollercoaster, this. It really keeps you on your toes, doesn't it? Okay. On Monday, mum, we had Seleni Henry on the show.

15:03Shanthi Ranganathan:Oh, yeah? What happened?

15:05Romesh Ranganathan:Well, I interviewed him. He wasn't very impressed with my impression of you. And I thought he had fair comment, actually. Let's have a look. Hello, Lenny. I can't believe you're on the podcast. Do you want people to diss you in the street? Do you want people to go, why are you doing that to your mum?

15:23Shanthi Ranganathan:You sound like Spike Milligan in the 70s. What's the matter with you, man? She raised you, she fed you, she took you to school. And you're doing this, listen, I had exactly the same thing. Len, I don't really talk like that on television. Why are you doing me on television? You want me to beat you? I will take this wheelchair and batter you with it if you ever do me on television again.

15:46Romesh Ranganathan:I found him a lot funnier than he did me. Okay. Do you think my impression of you is bad?

15:51Shanthi Ranganathan:It is bad.

15:52Romesh Ranganathan:I agree, actually. I think it's quite... It's not great.

15:56Shanthi Ranganathan:I'm not that extreme.

15:58Romesh Ranganathan:I'm not that extreme. Yeah. Yeah, it's different. Okay, now, when the podcast started, we did a lot of impressions, but we haven't done that for a while.

16:07Shanthi Ranganathan:Of course, yeah.

16:08Romesh Ranganathan:And so the team would like us to, and apparently we're just sort of allowing them to sit their hands up our arses and puppet us and do whatever they suggest. They would like us to each become different celebrities, starting with me. Ramesh, describe the... So these are a set of commands that we've been given. I don't like this dynamic. I also don't like the way any of this is going down, actually. The team have decided we're doing this, and we're just, what, performing chimps, and we do whatever's requested. Is that what the idea is? Where we'd love you to do this... Animals? I'm talking to you.

16:46Romesh Ranganathan:Is that what's going on? We'd love you to do this little bit that we've... We have decided. Who the... Have you been drinking?

16:56Romesh Ranganathan:I thought I'd just double down on our tone. Okay.

17:02Romesh Ranganathan:So the first one is describe the Animals, the team, as David Attenborough.

17:07Shanthi Ranganathan:You?

17:08Romesh Ranganathan:Me.

17:08Shanthi Ranganathan:Okay, do that then.

17:10Romesh Ranganathan:Okay.

17:11Shanthi Ranganathan:Monkey business?

17:12Romesh Ranganathan:Okay. Wow.

17:19Here, opposite me in the studio, a set of creatures that really defy description. Not only are they smelly and ugly, the secretions coming from them are quite indescribable. It's a selection almost like a smorgasbord of different pusses

17:42Romesh Ranganathan:that are coming from various orifices and gaping holes. Just, he's often quite celebratory about animals, isn't he? And it's remarkable how disgusting they can appear, but are still willing to mate with each other.

18:03One has to say it beggars belief that creatures that look like that could ever reproduce.

18:10Romesh Ranganathan:But it is within their potential, despite the fact that they both look, smell, and sound what I would describe as fucking hideous. I don't remember Atom or Ever. Yeah. It's different sort of Atom or Ever. The... their ongoing existence fills the heart and their ongoing pungency fills the nostrils.

18:36Shanthi Ranganathan:Sorry, this sounds like porno.

18:40Romesh Ranganathan:What porno is it? David Attenborough doing a... that would be remarkable.

18:44Shanthi Ranganathan:Yeah, they're mating, aren't they? The MILF arrives.

18:49Romesh Ranganathan:She's clearly up for it. The washing machine remains unfixed She's gone to visit her stepson Gone to fix the washing... Oh! And she's stuck What will she do?

19:10One suspects that he isn't really a taxi driver

19:19Romesh Ranganathan:Okay, mum, here's your one you talking about mutton rolls as Nigella Lawson. Do you know what Nigella Lawson sounds like?

19:28Shanthi Ranganathan:Yeah. Sexy voice. Okay. All right. Hello, I'm Shanti. And I'm going to show you how to make mutton rolls. So when you buy the meat, squeeze the meat, make sure it's a fresh one. Then you make the curry, like, you know, just put all the spices to make it so interesting.

20:01Shanthi Ranganathan:While you're making it, you are allowed to taste it. If it tastes nice, just roll it in a sheet of pastry and squeeze it again and see whether it looks hard.

20:23Shanthi Ranganathan:How hard should it be?

20:27Shanthi Ranganathan:Really hard. You will get pleasure out of it. Okay? Fry it in a hot oil, make it even harder. And put it in, while it's cooled down, put it in your mouth and enjoy it. That's it. You are done. Oh, God.

20:52Romesh Ranganathan:Nailed it. Yeah, that's great. Wasn't, I wouldn't say, sort of, what she does is kind of innuendo, isn't it? That was.

20:59Shanthi Ranganathan:No, you want to make love when she's talking.

21:03Romesh Ranganathan:It gets really hard and then you put it in your mouth.

21:05Shanthi Ranganathan:Yeah, but that's what you do.

21:08Romesh Ranganathan:This next one's quite, that's really good, actually.

21:11Shanthi Ranganathan:Thank you. Thank you, man.

21:15Romesh Ranganathan:Simon Cowell rating the, Ramesh, is Simon Cowell rating the podcast? It's quite a tricky one, this. Can you do Simon? Simon. I mean, is it a good podcast?

21:30Romesh Ranganathan:no it's a great podcast so is there something like that yeah yeah yeah that's that's about yeah i mean i

21:41Romesh Ranganathan:um i mean i um let me try let me try and figure this out it's quite difficult okay here we go

21:52i mean you've wanted this podcast to be a success

21:57Romesh Ranganathan:You've wanted us to put you through. And I can tell you, I'm sorry to say that I don't really like the podcast. I bloody love it. But not most of the time. Most of the time I don't love it. I love it all of the time. But love is not a great thing. Oh, what? Isn't it? It's not a great thing. Famously, it is. It's the best thing. Yeah!

22:34Romesh Ranganathan:But it's not the very best thing. Oh, what could be better? It's the very, very best thing. Yes! There you go, that's my song. That's too much. I feel like the animals carried that, really. That was fucking shit. Okay, Mum, could you pretend to be a loose woman?

22:54Shanthi Ranganathan:Who? Whom do you want me to?

22:57Romesh Ranganathan:Just imagine you're on Loose Women. Okay, then ask me a question. No, but the Loose Women ask questions. They don't get asked questions.

23:04Shanthi Ranganathan:So you want me to ask?

23:05Romesh Ranganathan:Oh, let me, okay, let's pretend. I'll pretend I'm asking a question. So today, hello, welcome to Loose Women. Today on the show, we are talking about sons and mothers and their relationships and how you keep those going. Shanti, you've obviously got two boys. Of course. What's your take on this whole scenario?

23:25I enjoy bringing them up.

23:28Shanthi Ranganathan:What's going on?

23:29Romesh Ranganathan:What are you doing with your hair?

23:30Shanthi Ranganathan:Because that's what they do.

23:31Romesh Ranganathan:Oh, okay. All right, go on. Okay. All right, carry on.

23:34Shanthi Ranganathan:And I really enjoy taking them to school. Now they have grown up. Sometimes they fuck me up.

23:43Romesh Ranganathan:You're a loose woman. It's a daytime show.

23:47Shanthi Ranganathan:It's a daytime show. Okay, I'm not getting it right.

23:49Romesh Ranganathan:Okay.

23:50Shanthi Ranganathan:Okay. Shall I try again?

23:52Romesh Ranganathan:Sure.

23:52Shanthi Ranganathan:Okay, ask me a question.

23:54Romesh Ranganathan:Okay. Shanti, you've got two boys. Okay, all right, fine. Shanti, what's your take on swearing on podcasts?

24:08Shanthi Ranganathan:It's to make you laugh. You can swear. There's nothing wrong with that. But when you are shouting at somebody, don't swear. Okay. Because it will hurt their feeling. that's what I believe in and I don't mind swearing for fun I do all the time

24:27Romesh Ranganathan:swearing okay any other question no that's fine thank you I think probably oh Romesh talking to the team like Gordon Ramsay

24:43Right.

24:44Romesh Ranganathan:We've tried to do a podcast and you're a bunch of fucking idiots. I wouldn't feed this podcast to my fucking dog. Fuck off. Fuck off. And you're...

24:58And as for you, people think you're great.

25:01Romesh Ranganathan:I think you're a smelly, thick, idiotic piece of dog shit.

25:06Shanthi Ranganathan:Look at this kitchen.

25:07Romesh Ranganathan:Get the fuck out of my face.

25:09Shanthi Ranganathan:It's fucking raw. Then cook it then. It is the bounce.

25:18Romesh Ranganathan:It's the bounce of it all, isn't it? I've listened to the podcast. It's one dimensional. They're exploiting his mother. And I don't know why the animals speak out loud. Clearly, they think they should have a podcast of their own. They need to fuck off. Something like that? Lovely vocabulary. I like Gordon Ramsay.

25:42Shanthi Ranganathan:We should get him on the podcast. I would love you to take me to one of his restaurants.

25:47Romesh Ranganathan:We'd love to have you on the podcast, Gordon. Will you come?

25:52Shanthi Ranganathan:Please?

25:53Romesh Ranganathan:No, I'm joking. I'm joking. Do you love Gordon Ramsay? I do.

25:57Shanthi Ranganathan:I used to watch that American program that really comes in. He improved the way they run the restaurants. Yeah, I'll tell you what's really fun

26:08Romesh Ranganathan:on Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares is to watch the show from like a few years ago because they're constantly repeating them and then Google to see how soon after the show they closed.

26:20Shanthi Ranganathan:That's not true.

26:22Romesh Ranganathan:All of the ones I've looked up are closed.

26:25Shanthi Ranganathan:So are they... Hopefully they can move on

26:28Romesh Ranganathan:and they'll learn from this.

26:32Shanthi Ranganathan:Well done. Thank you.

26:37Romesh Ranganathan:I liked it when you went to... There was one in Tenerife, I think, or something. It was really good. Really good episode.

26:41Shanthi Ranganathan:Don't tell me. Take me.

26:43Romesh Ranganathan:Take you where? You said to me, Romy, Romy, Romy, you said to me, I'll take you to a hopper house. Yeah. Hoppers.

26:52Shanthi Ranganathan:Hoppers.

26:53Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah.

26:54Shanthi Ranganathan:Hopper hut.

26:55Romesh Ranganathan:Hopper hut.

26:56Shanthi Ranganathan:Something like that. Something like that.

26:58Romesh Ranganathan:Hoppers, it's called.

26:59Shanthi Ranganathan:Hoppers. Okay. Yeah. Why didn't you take me, Lala?

27:04Romesh Ranganathan:You have a heavy schedule?

27:08Romesh Ranganathan:I am going to take you. It just hasn't come around yet. But I am going to take you. Why don't we go to Hoppers and then watch Charlie and Oliver? Lovely!

27:18Shanthi Ranganathan:There you are. But maybe when is it? Next year? Why are you taking this year?

27:23Romesh Ranganathan:What are you doing this sort of quizzical face for? I feel a little bit like you're like a podcaster.

27:35I think the adrenaline is still in my body.

27:38Shanthi Ranganathan:The adrenaline? Yeah. So it will go off in a minute. Okay?

27:42Romesh Ranganathan:Yes. I just want to double check something. What you're saying is in your body?

27:47Shanthi Ranganathan:Adrenaline.

27:48Romesh Ranganathan:Adrenaline. Yes. So you're saying you're full of adrenaline, is that what you're saying?

27:52Shanthi Ranganathan:Yes.

27:52Romesh Ranganathan:So it's adrenaline.

27:54Shanthi Ranganathan:Adrenaline. Yeah.

27:55Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. Okay.

27:55Shanthi Ranganathan:Am I pronouncing it right? No.

28:03Romesh Ranganathan:Adrenaline. Adrenaline.

28:04Shanthi Ranganathan:Adrenaline.

28:05Romesh Ranganathan:Adrenaline.

28:05Shanthi Ranganathan:Oh, shut up.

28:07Romesh Ranganathan:Adrenaline. It's adrenaline.

28:09Shanthi Ranganathan:Yeah. Adrenaline. Okay. That's fine. I'm not saying.

28:12Romesh Ranganathan:You are, all you need to do is add an A to what you're saying.

28:16Shanthi Ranganathan:Adrenaline.

28:16Romesh Ranganathan:Adrenaline. Okay.

28:18Shanthi Ranganathan:Stop that now. Okay.

28:20Romesh Ranganathan:Okay. All right. Now it's time for the listener question section. If you have a question that you think you could, we could help with, please send your WhatsApp messages and voice notes to 07731. Let me say it slower. 07731. let me say it slower 07731 623355 or email podcast at rangami.com and don't forget if you haven't already please like and subscribe really means a lot to us wherever you get your podcast please like and subscribe then you won't ever miss an episode and that would be incredible what a place to be that would be right? of course getting all of the episodes what a life I can't even imagine

28:55Shanthi Ranganathan:I know

28:55Romesh Ranganathan:you know? what's been your favourite episode that you've not been on mum of this podcast?

29:04Shanthi Ranganathan:The American chameleon, two weeks ago, I was watching. Rick Glassman? Yeah.

29:10Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah.

29:11Shanthi Ranganathan:The way he was talking about me, to his mother, the beautiful, not beautiful, some other words he used, I really loved it.

29:22Romesh Ranganathan:So you loved the way he complimented you?

29:24Shanthi Ranganathan:He complimented me. Okay, cool. Yeah. Yeah, because I don't think you will say things like that. And he asked the mother what's the favorite dish that she made for him. That's why he called, middle of the night.

29:40Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, well, he didn't know it was middle of the night. He didn't realize until he called.

29:43Shanthi Ranganathan:He didn't realize that the time difference.

29:45Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. And he apologized and asked her. Yeah.

29:49Shanthi Ranganathan:And said, Ramesha's mom wanted to know this. Yeah, I love that, the way he spoke to his mother. So when I asked you what your favorite bit of the episode that you're not in is,

30:03Romesh Ranganathan:it's the bit where you're spoken about.

30:06Shanthi Ranganathan:Why not? Why can't I?

30:08Romesh Ranganathan:I'm not making any comment on that. I'm just saying that is your favorite bit. All right.

30:11Shanthi Ranganathan:But I said it. I have been watching Monday episodes.

30:15Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah.

30:15Shanthi Ranganathan:So don't worry.

30:16Romesh Ranganathan:Okay. I haven't watched Lenny Henry's yet. No, well, that's not. Okay.

30:21Shanthi Ranganathan:Because I have been busy. going to weddings, going to Kiva Castle, going to Devil's Dyke and things like that.

30:29Romesh Ranganathan:When did you go to Devil's Dyke?

30:30Shanthi Ranganathan:With Dinesh, he took me and he put a video.

30:33Romesh Ranganathan:Oh, I saw the video, yeah. Why wasn't I invited to Devil's Dyke?

30:36Shanthi Ranganathan:Ramesh, you are telling us, invite me, invite me. We get a negative answer. When you put this, say no, no, no, what do you want us to do?

30:50Romesh Ranganathan:keep inviting me until I'm available if you want the honest answer

30:53Shanthi Ranganathan:what do you think you are?

30:55Romesh Ranganathan:your son?

30:56Shanthi Ranganathan:yeah

30:56Romesh Ranganathan:member of the family?

30:57Shanthi Ranganathan:but when mother asks you should come

31:00Romesh Ranganathan:yeah but if I'm busy then I can't can I?

31:02Shanthi Ranganathan:so what you are trying to say you keep on inviting me

31:08Romesh Ranganathan:yeah and when I'm available I'll come that's how it invites work isn't it? can you come to this? no can you come to this? no can you come to this? yes and then you come

31:15Shanthi Ranganathan:okay we'll give it a try I really enjoyed it I was climbing to get into that place. I was climbing on the... Like a...

31:25Romesh Ranganathan:You don't need to talk to them.

31:27Shanthi Ranganathan:Okay. God, you are so rude.

31:31Romesh Ranganathan:No, but I'm just saying, you don't have to address the fucking...

31:34Shanthi Ranganathan:It's like a... ...preachers.

31:36Romesh Ranganathan:This is our podcast. It's not...

31:38Shanthi Ranganathan:Without them, we don't have a podcast.

31:41Romesh Ranganathan:Without me, they don't have... Yeah.

31:43Shanthi Ranganathan:Woo! It's true. Preach.

31:46Romesh Ranganathan:Love you, Shanti. Thank you.

31:47Shanthi Ranganathan:Love you too, love you.

31:49Romesh Ranganathan:Fucking... What a joke. Without me, you've got fuck all, by the way.

31:55Shanthi Ranganathan:Absolute jack shit. That's big-headed. That's big-headed.

31:58Romesh Ranganathan:Big-headed and accurate. You've got nothing. Okay? Nothing.

32:08Romesh Ranganathan:All right? We still have careers, though, wouldn't we? Yeah, but... Come on.

32:14Shanthi Ranganathan:Anyway, to get into the... Shall I continue, my son?

32:17Romesh Ranganathan:Please, yes. Yeah. So where is this? Sorry, I didn't...

32:19Shanthi Ranganathan:Yeah, there was a tweet.

32:21Romesh Ranganathan:This is what happens. This is what I'm talking about. Now they're starting to fire questions in. You've given them a bit of confidence. And now they're going to start thinking they're fucking co-hosting this.

32:29Shanthi Ranganathan:Why not Rumi... Shh! We don't know where it is.

32:33Romesh Ranganathan:Devil's Dyke. Where's that? What is it?

32:35Shanthi Ranganathan:Near Brighton.

32:36Romesh Ranganathan:Near Brighton, yeah.

32:37Shanthi Ranganathan:Near Brighton. So Dinesh took me as a family trip and I enjoyed...

32:42Romesh Ranganathan:It was not a full family trip. I wasn't there.

32:45Shanthi Ranganathan:You... Oh!

32:49Romesh Ranganathan:What happened there?

32:51Shanthi Ranganathan:Sometimes you annoy me.

32:54Romesh Ranganathan:Understood. Thank you for your honesty. I think that's a teachable moment.

32:59Shanthi Ranganathan:Okay. So Nia, there's a tree trunk to get into that place. My granddaughter, Nia, she got in and I followed her.

33:08Romesh Ranganathan:Hold on a minute. This needs a bit of context. There's a tree trunk to get into this place. Did you go to Narnia? What are you talking about? You go through a tree trunk?

33:17Shanthi Ranganathan:Like a gate, you put your foot on it, then you go down.

33:21Romesh Ranganathan:Oh, so there's a gate and then a tree stump in front of it, and then you climb over. I have to climb over. So Nia did it. So I thought, I'll try.

33:29Shanthi Ranganathan:And the handbag on my side hanging. I did. I won. I got in there. I didn't have any pain or I didn't struggle. So I was very pleased with myself. One other guy was watching me doing it. And he said, excuse me, are you an athlete? he asked me. I thought, Nia said, he's being rude, Grandma. I don't think it's rude. Maybe I'll take it as a compliment.

33:55Romesh Ranganathan:Definitely a compliment. Yeah, that's a huge compliment.

33:57Shanthi Ranganathan:Why are you laughing? I'm sorry.

34:00Romesh Ranganathan:It's very difficult. It's very difficult to know the tone in which that guy asked it. But it sounds athletic like clothes. No.

34:10Shanthi Ranganathan:In a funny way. I don't know him. He just said...

34:14Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, I think my best guess...

34:17Shanthi Ranganathan:Yeah.

34:18Romesh Ranganathan:Patronising Wanka.

34:19Shanthi Ranganathan:Maybe. No. That's my best guess. This old bag is climbing on the tree trunk.

34:25Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah.

34:26Shanthi Ranganathan:In case he fall down, maybe he was worried. Yeah, maybe he was worried. We take it. But Leon said...

34:31Romesh Ranganathan:Did he have a bag on him?

34:35Shanthi Ranganathan:No, he was with his girlfriend.

34:36Romesh Ranganathan:Was he carrying anything?

34:39Shanthi Ranganathan:Don't put the same things I said to him. I was just asking, was he carrying? You are copying me.

34:43Romesh Ranganathan:No, but did he have a bag? Did he have a bag?

34:46Shanthi Ranganathan:No, nothing.

34:46Romesh Ranganathan:Pedophile.

34:51Romesh Ranganathan:Clearly a pedophile at Devil's Dyke.

34:53Shanthi Ranganathan:He's going to kill you, if he finds out.

34:56Romesh Ranganathan:I'm just saying. I don't think he's a dead kind of.

34:58Shanthi Ranganathan:Did he have a bag?

34:59Romesh Ranganathan:Did he have a bag?

35:00Shanthi Ranganathan:Why would he carry a bag?

35:02Romesh Ranganathan:Why wouldn't you have any belongings at Devil's Dyke? Listen. I think clearly. That's a different circumstance.

35:08Shanthi Ranganathan:Different circumstance. Have you ever seen anybody getting into the train with their belongings? We are in the park. Why would he carry a bag?

35:17Romesh Ranganathan:Stuff to go to the park with.

35:19Shanthi Ranganathan:No, he doesn't need it. Train. You need a little bag or something to carry your thing. Right.

35:23Romesh Ranganathan:Well, I think you need a little bag for the park.

35:25Shanthi Ranganathan:What you are saying is wrong.

35:27Romesh Ranganathan:No. Train and the park. Train and the park. Oh, it's a totally different thing. Bag for the train, no bag for the park. Park. Well, I think it's no bag for the train and bag for the park. So I think that guy is a pedo. Look forward to your voice note, nonce. Okay. Right. Too much? We've got a voice note from... From the guy at Devil's Dyke. No, it's from Minnie. We've got a voice note from Minnie. Hiya. My name's Minnie, and I absolutely love you guys. I'm getting a little bit obsessed with you, Romesh, watching refunds of The Weakest Link and concurrently listening to your podcast too. Shanti, you're the best, obviously.

36:13Shanthi Ranganathan:Thank you, darling. I just wanted to ask you, Shanti, how did you feel when Romesh started getting a little bit older and breaking free? My son is 11 and Ted is the best person ever. And for 10 years of his life, he thought the sun shone out of my bum but currently is refusing kisses squirming when I go near him and calling me cringe despite the fact that I am fucking cool I would appreciate any help other than just smothering him in kisses in public and feeding the wrath lots of love, bye

36:50Romesh Ranganathan:thanks for the voice note mini, mini sounds fun

36:53Shanthi Ranganathan:yeah

36:54Romesh Ranganathan:mum, 11 year old kid not wanting kisses anymore, what do you do?

36:59Shanthi Ranganathan:You did the same to me.

37:01Romesh Ranganathan:At 11?

37:01Shanthi Ranganathan:11, yeah. You told me not to buy any clothes. You will select your own clothes. And when you grew up and you become a teacher, you asked me to drop you far away from the school.

37:14Romesh Ranganathan:No, let's just clear that first of all, there's so many time jumps in that story. I was living with mum and dad and I was teaching and I moved back in with you for a little bit and I needed a lift to school and I said to mum, can you drop me around the corner? And she said, why? And I just said, it's embarrassing enough when you're a school... Can you imagine? I'm trying to command some sort of authority. Can you imagine if you got a maths lesson later on that day with someone you see get out of his mum's car. I mean, it's career suicide. There's absolutely no way. Bye, mum. Love you. And then I've got to go teach maths.

37:58Shanthi Ranganathan:Yeah, what was the idea?

37:59Romesh Ranganathan:Have a night day. I did. At a fucking crawly comprehensive.

38:01Shanthi Ranganathan:Love you, son.

38:02Romesh Ranganathan:There's absolutely no way. You can't survive that. I don't think that's an unusual thing to... okay but yes look Minnie I'm in the same situation now because we've got a 17 14 and 12 year old actually 15 15 just literally so 17

38:18Shanthi Ranganathan:no Alex is 15

38:20Romesh Ranganathan:yeah that's what I said 17, 15 and 12 12 yeah so and they are you know they don't want we still get it's a bit different for Lisa than it is to me but I still get hugs kisses are long gone no kisses

38:38Shanthi Ranganathan:Alex gave me a kiss yeah to you

38:40Romesh Ranganathan:but not to me he doesn't so it's you still get hugs but mum I don't want to speak on your behalf but I would say Minnie that my mum views consent from the children as optional you know they're getting kisses and cuddles whether they like it or not aren't they

38:58Shanthi Ranganathan:maybe they don't like it

39:00Romesh Ranganathan:you're a smotherer aren't you

39:02Shanthi Ranganathan:I am I am I love my grandchildren yeah They are going to grow and leave your home. As soon as they find a girlfriend, be ready. They won't see you. They will see you, but not the grandmother. Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah.

39:19Romesh Ranganathan:I mean, we saw each other less when I had got my first girlfriend at 29. Didn't we?

39:25Shanthi Ranganathan:Because it worried me that you were shagging somebody.

39:29Romesh Ranganathan:How do you get the grandkids to like you? Do you think the grandkids like you, Mum?

39:33Shanthi Ranganathan:I don't see your grandchildren that often.

39:37Romesh Ranganathan:But when you do?

39:38Shanthi Ranganathan:Huh?

39:38Romesh Ranganathan:When you do?

39:39Shanthi Ranganathan:When I see them, yes, I do kiss them. You think they like you? Hug them, yeah.

39:42Romesh Ranganathan:And do you think they like you?

39:44Shanthi Ranganathan:Maybe they won't like it. I don't think they kiss...

39:46Romesh Ranganathan:No, but I'm not asking. I'm asking, do you think they like you?

39:50Shanthi Ranganathan:It's a difficult question to answer.

39:52Romesh Ranganathan:Okay.

39:53Shanthi Ranganathan:How can I... How do I know that they like me?

39:56Romesh Ranganathan:Well, do you get the impression that they like you?

39:58Shanthi Ranganathan:Maybe you... Huh?

39:59Romesh Ranganathan:Do you get the impression that they like you?

40:02Shanthi Ranganathan:They know that I'm their grandmother. Yeah. They will be nice to me.

40:08Romesh Ranganathan:Right.

40:08Shanthi Ranganathan:But liking, I don't know.

40:10Romesh Ranganathan:But they love you. They really like you.

40:12Shanthi Ranganathan:Do they? Yeah. But I know Theo is very close to one of his friends. His name is, I don't say. Let's not name him. Asian, yeah.

40:25Romesh Ranganathan:Asian.

40:25Shanthi Ranganathan:And she always, the way he respects his grandmother, I know the grandmother. She used to work with me. So... What are you talking about? Yeah. He learned from that kid.

40:39Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah.

40:40Shanthi Ranganathan:You know, what they do, what about the Asian culture.

40:43Romesh Ranganathan:You think that my son has learned from this other kid how to respect his grandmother?

40:49Shanthi Ranganathan:I'm just guessing. I'm just guessing.

40:50Romesh Ranganathan:It's a mad line of deduction.

40:52Shanthi Ranganathan:Okay. If you think so...

40:54Romesh Ranganathan:Well, do you not think mine and Lisa's parenting has anything to do with it?

40:58Shanthi Ranganathan:Possible. Possible. Possible.

41:01Romesh Ranganathan:Rather than somebody he's at school with.

41:04Shanthi Ranganathan:Running around like a dodo, that's what you say to me. I say we're running around like. Lisa is basically, yeah. Lisa got dogs to take for, I mean, do you have time to explain things to them?

41:15Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, we interact with our children, yes.

41:17Shanthi Ranganathan:Do you?

41:18Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah.

41:19Shanthi Ranganathan:Okay, you're never there.

41:21Romesh Ranganathan:I am there quite a lot.

41:23Shanthi Ranganathan:Are you?

41:23Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah.

41:24Shanthi Ranganathan:But when I asked you to come to me, you said I'm gigging mum.

41:27Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, I do gig a lot as well.

41:29Shanthi Ranganathan:Okay, right, right, right, right. I won't ask any more questions.

41:33Romesh Ranganathan:Done. I think that ship has sailed, isn't it? Anyway, Minnie, hope that helps.

41:41Romesh Ranganathan:You've been very front-footed on this today, and I like it. I actually quite like being on my toes. Minnie, if you force your kid to kiss you more, they'll just start to get more and more annoyed about it, won't they? I'm not, it's a very difficult one to...

41:57Shanthi Ranganathan:I don't think they like kissing.

42:00Romesh Ranganathan:Look, my experience is this. When your children are really young, people keep saying things like, they'll constantly say to you, you need to grab these years while you can, and the time goes quickly, and you've got to be really, really careful. And there's that stat, isn't there, that 80 % of the time you spend with your children is in the first 12 years of their life. That's the stat that everyone keeps banding about. And people say things like, you know, they won't want kisses and cuddles and stuff like that. and there is truth in that. But I've got older kids now, and I mean obviously, you know, Charlie's about the same, our youngest is about the same age as your kid.

42:35Romesh Ranganathan:But the way that you interact with them changes, but I don't think that's worse. Like, you know, our eldest, I go to gigs with him and we hang out and like, yeah, we're not cuddling and kissing or whatever, but I still love spending time with him. It's just different. You know, our second son is obsessed with Arsenal, so we watch Arsenal all the time and we talk about that and yeah we're not like he's not giving we're not hugging all the time and stuff but or we do when they score which is pretty often come on you gunners but I am I love the way I interact like it's the way that you interact with your children changes as they get older but it's I think it's still as rewarding arguably more so as they get older and like you know you become friends with them in like a real way do you know what I mean so I think you are resisting something in my opinion you're resisting something you don't need to resist.

43:26Romesh Ranganathan:I think you let nature take its course and, you know, kids find, kids are supposed to find us sort of slightly embarrassing.

43:34Shanthi Ranganathan:But they do love you.

43:35Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. So that's

43:37Shanthi Ranganathan:you should remember all the time. They love you. Without you, they can't survive, man. When you go away or something, they do feel. Yeah.

43:45Romesh Ranganathan:And also like sometimes, you know, it sounds like you're an absolute, look, sometimes I've had it, I've talked about this before where we'd be at the I went to give Theo a hug and a kiss, to send him off on his way, and he shied away from me.

43:59Shanthi Ranganathan:Does he hurt you?

44:00Romesh Ranganathan:Because he was embarrassed. No, but I did say to him, you have got arguably one of the coolest dads in the country. And you, do you know what I mean? You don't know you're born having me as a dad. And I pointed out some of the other guys. I forget if your dad's one of these fucking losers. I get Wade one of them. You're pointing towards me. Pardon? Oh, sorry, that's just accidental. Okay, just feel free. But I get if your dad's that fucking sad prick. Do you know what I mean? Like a fucking pathetic little shit like that, I would get if you're embarrassed. There'd be more towards that. If your dad was like that, then yeah.

44:34Romesh Ranganathan:Do you know what I mean? I'd get it.

44:35Shanthi Ranganathan:If your dad was that guy,

44:38Romesh Ranganathan:then yes, he'd be embarrassed. Do you know what I mean? If he was that snivelling little shit over there, then yeah, I get it. But your dad's me.

44:46Shanthi Ranganathan:Oh.

44:47Romesh Ranganathan:You know?

44:47Shanthi Ranganathan:It's a bit me killing. Yeah, I didn't remember.

44:49Romesh Ranganathan:I played it up a little bit.

44:51Shanthi Ranganathan:Don't talk like that.

44:51Romesh Ranganathan:But what I'm saying, you know, what I would say to him is, I'm not that prick. Yeah, again, again. You know? It's been the same spot. Imagine if your dad was that piece of scum. Okay. You know? It's getting worse. I'm not talking, I'm just doing it as an example. Imagine if, you know, your dad was that creature, that animal, that helps with the podcast. Well, that's... What? No, I'm just saying the guy that, he's a... Well, he's at your kid's school. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like a... Imagine if it was Ben. His name's Ben. So the guy's called Ben at school. Yeah. So there you go.

45:25Shanthi Ranganathan:My God, you angry.

45:27Romesh Ranganathan:Me? Yeah. No, I got that bit ran out of steam there a bit. Sorry. I was trying to think of a big insult to close off with. I think there was enough. Don't worry. But then I started to feel... Then I felt sorry for you because I thought it was really horrible. Imagine if it was... There you go. But you actually think I'm quite cool, don't you?

45:45Shanthi Ranganathan:He talks like that. He doesn't behave like that.

45:48Romesh Ranganathan:What do you mean?

45:50Shanthi Ranganathan:You're quite calm with the children. Very calm, yeah. I know. I have seen it. But when they are naughty, I have seen you getting angry.

45:58Romesh Ranganathan:I do that kind of... I do the get quieter when you're angry thing, rather than get louder. I know, I know.

46:08Shanthi Ranganathan:I'll say something.

46:10Romesh Ranganathan:I'll go like... I just go, so all I want to know is what made you think that was the right thing to do.

46:17Shanthi Ranganathan:That's lovely. I'm very very impressed with you mum.

46:20Romesh Ranganathan:And then they'll often spit in my face and call me a wanker. And I go, why? I'll go, now what I want to know is, why do you think it was okay to gob on me? That's how you command respect. Okay, we've got a voice note from Kim.

46:38Shanthi Ranganathan:Hi, Auntie Shanthi, Romesh, and the rest of the lovely team.

46:43Romesh Ranganathan:Wow.

46:43Shanthi Ranganathan:I hope you are all keeping well. I love the podcast. Please, please never stop doing it because it is just the highlight of my week. And to waste no time, I'm going to get straight into my predicament.

46:57Romesh Ranganathan:Okay. I have been dating my boyfriend now for over two years.

47:04Shanthi Ranganathan:Congrats. And he and I have a great relationship. He's a lovely guy. He has a lovely family as well, who I've been getting to know across those two years. But my predicament is one that I've seen a lot of, like, Indian families face. So I bring it to yourselves and to this podcast to see if you can shine your kind of light on it and whether you might be able to help or give some advice. and also it might help someone else who might be going through the same thing. So me and my partner have been dating but I've not told the rest of my family about him, the only person that knows is my mum. The reason for that is he's a different caste to what my caste is and in the Indian caste system that's it's a bit of a big deal unfortunately.

47:54Shanthi Ranganathan:It's no issue to his family but it's more of an issue to mine and that's why I've been kind of holding off telling them but now that we've been dating for over two years we're both getting a bit older and I am thinking that it's now time to tell them how would you approach that conversation and how do you handle kind of disappointing family I don't know if either of you have ever done that but yeah how do you kind of bring someone into the family who you know that everyone isn't going to be necessarily approving of

48:25Romesh Ranganathan:Thank you for any advice that you provide and I hope you all have a lovely rest of your day. Bye. Kim, what a lovely voice though, thank you so much. She sounds a bit down, how to say it. Kim, I find it interesting that you feel like you need to ask if I've ever disappointed my mother.

48:49Romesh Ranganathan:I think the more accurate question is, have you ever disappointed your mum today?

48:55Romesh Ranganathan:But it's difficult, it's difficult because I don't think we had the same situation. I mean, would you preferred me to get married to a Sri Lankan? No. I'm gonna say something honestly. The pause wasn't helpful.

49:13Romesh Ranganathan:That's my honest take on that.

49:16Shanthi Ranganathan:Listen, before you open your mouth, put your brain into gear.

49:20Romesh Ranganathan:Okay.

49:20Shanthi Ranganathan:That's what I was doing.

49:21Romesh Ranganathan:Oh, right. Okay.

49:23Shanthi Ranganathan:Instead of saying the wrong thing.

49:25Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah.

49:26Shanthi Ranganathan:It's not nice, is it?

49:27Romesh Ranganathan:So you had to think about saying that.

49:30Shanthi Ranganathan:You love Lisa. Okay. Why would I break that? I won't.

49:34Romesh Ranganathan:I'm not asking that. I know you love Lisa.

49:37Shanthi Ranganathan:Yeah.

49:37Romesh Ranganathan:And she loves you.

49:38Shanthi Ranganathan:Yeah.

49:39Romesh Ranganathan:I'm asking in theory, if Lisa was Sri Lankan, would it be better?

49:47Shanthi Ranganathan:I don't think so.

49:48Romesh Ranganathan:Again, you paused.

49:50Shanthi Ranganathan:I don't think so.

49:52Romesh Ranganathan:Okay, you don't think so? No. You're not certain?

49:54Shanthi Ranganathan:No. No, no, no, no, no.

49:56Romesh Ranganathan:Okay.

49:57Shanthi Ranganathan:If you found you falling in love with the Sri Lankans,

50:02Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah.

50:02Shanthi Ranganathan:you really liked her. Yeah, that's fine.

50:06Romesh Ranganathan:Would it be better?

50:08Shanthi Ranganathan:No, that's a wrong word. That's a wrong word.

50:11Romesh Ranganathan:Would it be the best?

50:12Shanthi Ranganathan:I think the best for you, son. If you are in love with somebody, I will encourage you, I'll bless you and get married.

50:20Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. Because she's also a lovely person. Yeah.

50:24Shanthi Ranganathan:Why? The country, the culture is different.

50:27Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. That I think you found slightly tricky, right? Because you're sort of looking at your kids not be as in touch as you'd like with their culture. I found it difficult because Lisa and Claire, they don't know our culture.

50:43Shanthi Ranganathan:So in our culture, I ring you and I'm popping in for a cup of coffee. I can't do that, can I?

50:50Romesh Ranganathan:You can do that.

50:51Shanthi Ranganathan:Yeah?

50:52Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah.

50:52Shanthi Ranganathan:Okay. I'll give it a try. If I fail, I'll smack you. Okay?

50:59Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah.

51:01Shanthi Ranganathan:But I would have blessed you with anybody you want to get married. That if she's a nice... I will meet her and I'll have a chat with her. If I like it, I will tell you the truth.

51:14Romesh Ranganathan:What do you think Kim should do?

51:21Kim.

51:23Shanthi Ranganathan:I said Kim.

51:24Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah.

51:25Shanthi Ranganathan:Yeah. I think there's a caste different in there, I think. Yeah, I mean she said that. I'm suspecting. Well, you don't need to suspect, I can confirm. No. She said it in the voice. No, caste, caste. Okay. Because in Among Us, the caste system, even in the 20th century, it works.

51:44Romesh Ranganathan:21st.

51:45Shanthi Ranganathan:Yeah, 21st century. It's very difficult. They don't like to get married to her. They bring that caste system. It's important to them.

51:56Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. What should Kim do? So, if she's prepared to go against the parents and she's worried that they won't support

52:05Shanthi Ranganathan:her. And the society won't invite her for things because you went against the community. Maybe that's what she's worried. If she's a tough person, go with your loved one and have a wonderful life. Things that will change. When you have a child, parents will accept you and bless you.

52:31Romesh Ranganathan:How would you break it to... If you were Kim...

52:35Shanthi Ranganathan:Yeah.

52:37Romesh Ranganathan:How would you... Let the parents know. Yeah, tell me how you would explain it.

52:40Shanthi Ranganathan:Mum is always kind. I mean, you are frightened to talk to your father. Call the mum, and I have important thing to talk to your mum.

52:49Romesh Ranganathan:I think the mum knows. Mum knows. The rest of the family.

52:52Shanthi Ranganathan:Then mum has to do a really tough job explaining to the father, We shouldn't break this friendship. She'd really love him so much. And, you know, get her married. Everything depends on the mother.

53:08Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. In what way? So you think Kim should tell her mum to tell everybody on her behalf?

53:15Shanthi Ranganathan:You just said mum knows.

53:17Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah.

53:18Shanthi Ranganathan:So instead of wasting time, the mum should, if Kim said, please talk to dad, we won't get married. so talk to him and accept the challenge you want to be with him then you have to work at it

53:35Romesh Ranganathan:Kim, I don't really know how to I am not saying that I've got the correct advice for this but

53:45Romesh Ranganathan:I think if your family love you they will accept whoever you decide to fall in love with and they do love you so sometimes your perception of how bad it's going to be is, or your perception of how they're going to react, is not a reality. And so, you are forecasting a potential reaction, but you don't know that's how they're going to react. So, I think you need to just... You know that your family love you, you know that you love this guy, so be brave and tell them. And as soon as you tell them, and I know it's not as easy as that, But as soon as you find out a way of telling them in a considerate way, then that elephant in the room is gone.

54:29Romesh Ranganathan:Do you know what I mean? And it's open. And whatever their reaction is, it's not actually your responsibility. Your responsibility is for your own happiness. That's all you've got control of. And so you say, this is who I'm with. And if they get angry, part of the problem that we have is we take the responsibility for that person's anger. That's not on you. If they're angry or annoyed about it, that's for them to deal with. It's actually none of your business, their reaction to that. And like Mum said, with time, hopefully that'll all calm down. Especially when you have a child. I do think it's worth...

55:02Romesh Ranganathan:One of the traps that we can fall into with these kind of cultural differences is you thinking that this car system thing is antiquated and you don't get it and blah blah blah. Different people are brought up in different ways. To them it's incredibly important. And it's worthwhile being kind in your attitude towards how seriously they'll take it. Do you know what I mean? Or they do or they don't. So it's kind of a bit of consideration of both sides of the argument.

55:28Shanthi Ranganathan:Can I tell a little story about my life?

55:31Romesh Ranganathan:Yes, please. I'd love it to be a big reveal about dad that I'd not known until we talk about it on the pod.

55:37Shanthi Ranganathan:It's about my mum and dad.

55:39Romesh Ranganathan:Okay.

55:39Shanthi Ranganathan:Okay. My dad is Christian. My mum is, um, Hindu. So when they approached my grandfather, my grandfather said to him, unless you change your religion, you can't marry my daughter. My dad did change his religion, become a Hindu, started going to the temple. Then he got sick when he was 27. 27 and because then doctor said that I don't know his liver is gone or something went wrong I don't know the real thing my mother never told me the doctor said there's no treatment you are going to die. Then he said, okay. And he begged my mother, not begged, told her, I want my ceremony to be a Christianity way.

56:48Shanthi Ranganathan:Please send my body to my parents. Then they did everything in a Christianity way, not in a Hindu way. He said, God has taken me because I have changed the religion. Did he really believe that? That's the belief. He believed that, yeah. So that's why I...

57:04Romesh Ranganathan:Do you have any... You were three years old, right?

57:06Shanthi Ranganathan:I was three years old. I remember, I went to the... He was lying down. I still remember. The pupil, you see, that gone up. I started screaming. Because we do... Then soon as I put the milk in his mouth, and he just took his last breath. I clearly remember this happened yesterday. I was only three years old. That's why I was fatherless child. My mother had to bring me up on her own. Luckily, he was a teacher, so we could afford everything. And dad left so much money as well, saving, so he survived. that's my story I'm just wanted to tell

57:53Romesh Ranganathan:really good loved it thank you thanks for sharing thank you so much for sharing mum and that brings us to the

58:00Shanthi Ranganathan:welcome my son I love you

58:02Romesh Ranganathan:alright that okay say it back I love you too mum

58:06Shanthi Ranganathan:oh thank you you're a wonderful

58:08Romesh Ranganathan:beautiful woman inside and out and that brings us to the end of the show that was like a you know the end of like a 90s sitcom you know like a little kind of thanks for sharing

58:18Shanthi Ranganathan:I become emotional in between and it's lovely.

58:23Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, it's nice.

58:24Shanthi Ranganathan:Nice.

58:25Romesh Ranganathan:But time is up. Not for us, but for the episode. Thank you so much for joining us. Thank you. Keep your messages coming in. Say goodbye, mum. Bye-bye. No, mum. Over here. Yeah, okay. Goodbye. Bye. Suck it. Pricks. Oh, no. Oh, God. Rude. thank you so much for watching and listening to this episode before you go if you've enjoyed this episode and you're not subscribed that's a bold decision crazy behavior follow and subscribe to the romish rang and athan show wherever you listen it helps me really like really helps me it helps the team and it costs you absolutely nothing we drop episodes every monday and thursday mondays i'm joined by great guests thursdays my mom shanti joins me to answer your questions and family dilemmas we'll see you monday with another great guest and back here with mum on thursday if you've got a problem you want to solve or a story you want to share send it to podcast at ranga b.com voice not or text us on 07731 623 355 we can't promise good advice but you might end up on the show see you soon