Tim Key: Trying The World’s HOTTEST Curry & Struggling With Panel Shows

18:21that was horrible. But okay, so on Taskmaster, Alex had to really convince me to do it.

18:29Romesh Ranganathan:Right. Right. But before it was a TV show, it was Alex's live show, obviously. And you had a lot of involvement in the live show, right? I was in the live show. He did like one year of Taskmaster, which was one night in the Queen Dome in Edinburgh. And he got 10 comedians to do 10 tasks over 10 months. Stuart Goldsmith was on that. Goldsmith was one. Josie Long. Me. Mike Wozniak. Yeah. A few people who have gone on to do Taskmaster. Bruce DeZau. Bruce DeZau? Bruce DeZau. Was doing Taskmaster. Are you winding me up? No, I'm winding you down. He was in there. Okay. Fair play to him. People may not know, but Bruce DeZau is a journalist.

19:13Romesh Ranganathan:Journalist, writes for the Evening Standard. Writes for the Evening Standard. Fantastic. And yeah, he was very good fun. Alex would send us like a task. So send me the biggest thing possible. And then, so it's different from Taskmaster, but you'd have like a month to do it really. And so with that one, I think I sent him like 100 metres of bubble wrap. Yeah. And then I think Jared Christmas sent him a subscription to Big Ones. And then a year's subscription, I think that was. And then Mike Wozniak sent him a plinth. Right. With a letter enclosed from the post office explaining that, apologising for the fact that the ice sculpture had melted.

20:04Yeah.

20:05Romesh Ranganathan:Some good stuff. Yeah, really good. Yeah, it was good. And so... So why did you need convincing to go on to the extra TV show? Because of the studio element. Because of this fear of being on a panel show. And so all of the stuff in the house I was absolutely loving. And then even on Taskmaster where it's like um people I'm very comfortable with and we all got on very well and then Alex my best friend and you know it's all it's all fine but even then I kind of struggled with I think what I find I think now I've kind of like separated it all and worked it all out I think I really love doing comedy yeah in front of a live audience right and I really love acting or doing stuff in front of cameras acting but both those things happening at the same time i really struggle with right to have a room um where you're trying to make that room laugh and then cameras in there as well going beyond that i don't know why but i think there's something about that that i don't i get i feel so much more relaxed if there are no cameras i think the difference between trying to be funny for the cameras and trying to be funny for a live audience I think is a space that you can fall into really easily.

21:18Romesh Ranganathan:And there's been times when I've done, like the one that springs to mind most easily is like League of Their Own, something like that. Sometimes you'll say something that the room really responds to and in my head I think I don't want that to be on the show when it goes, because I always feel like you're always playing to one or the other too much. Do you know what I mean? It's like trying to do both is really, I do think it's really hard. I think the funniest thing I ever have done is we made a game show, me, Alex, Horne and Mark Watson called We Need Answers. And we used to do like a run through in the afternoon and they'd have like stand-ins for the two celebs.

21:56So the celebs would be, you know, John Inverdale and Jermaine Greer or something. Yeah. And then you'd have two stand-ins. One says John on their lapel and one says Jermaine. And then we'd run through the whole show with all the questions and all that stuff. And obviously not filmed and just absolute chaos. And it's just funny because nothing matters. It's not being broadcast. There's no stakes. You're trying to make one another laugh. Yeah, yeah. And it kind of was like when we did the same show in Edinburgh at like midnight and it was just carnage and so fun. But I think if you put cameras in and said, this is going to be broadcast, I think for me it changes it.

22:34And I think that's actually what I was saying at the start to you is you're very good at, you take that in your stride and are able to keep performing.

22:44Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, I think it's disassociation. Yeah. You know, complete disconnect. Yeah. You know, not really engaging. In a good way. I guess so. It's very difficult to switch that on and off, though. That's the problem. Now, Tim, can you give me your take on curry? Is it true that you're a massive fanatic? Curry? I love a curry. What's your favourite? A chicken jacuti. But what I've done today is ordered all of the ingredients for chicken charcuti. Right. There's a... What is a chicken charcuti? Don't know. And so this lady got into... I actually... Do you know James Acaster? Yes, I know of him. Yeah. So he...

23:23We went for a curry about 10 years ago. Okay. And he said chicken charcuti has to be every time. Right. And so I've followed suit. and it's very nice. I've never even heard of it. Well, it's like a sort of, it's a bit sort of coconutty. Right. But it's sort of like a bit punchier than a korma. Okay. And anyway, I loved it. Then I went on his podcast. Yeah. M &Ed's podcast, Off Menu. Yeah. Mentioned it. And then this lady got in touch and said, I mean, I make chicken jacoutis. Yeah. This is fine. So she now sometimes sends me this chicken jacouti mix. And this morning I went online, I've got all the other things, all the other ingredients, but I've got a broken wrist.

24:05Romesh Ranganathan:So you're not able to make it? I don't think so. I mean, I've got these onions and I've got the wrist and I've got a knife and that's what I'm going to do after I leave you. Well, I've got some great news for you. You're coming with me? No. That would just be good news. I've got great news. What is it? We've actually got curry for you here now.

24:29Romesh Ranganathan:Cut out the middle man. We haven't got... What is it? Well, now, this is a slight thing we've got to warn you about. Yeah, it does come with a warning. Of course. All food should. How are you with spice? Good. How are you with spice? I'm never as good as I think I'm going to be, is the truth. I bet you've got... What is it? Did you make it? I didn't make it. No, actually, where did we get it from? Did mummy make it? No, mum didn't make it. Sorry. I would love to have to make it. Thank you. This is great. You don't get this on some podcasts. No. You get it on most podcasts. Yeah. This specific thing?

25:08Yeah. Variations. With pre-smashed poppadoms? Yeah. Pre-smashed poppadoms. Okay, let's see. Okay.

25:17Romesh Ranganathan:It's quite spicy. I've not tried it, but... Okay. So just be wary. Yeah, okay. You've warned me about the spice a few times now. Okay, let's see.

25:32That's quite spicy, actually.

25:37Yeah, that's not easy. If you had to give it just a straight out of the gate out of 10, what are we looking at at the moment, Tim? I need to get a bit of this potato. Yeah. But also, the old second half of the interview might not be that easy. Well, I'll tell you what. Yeah. Someone, somewhere is not pissing about.

25:59Romesh Ranganathan:What do you think? Give me a review. Well, it's almost... I can't taste any flavours through the spice. Which is a sort of variation on compliments to the chef. You weren't involved in this, were you? No. Where did we get this from? This was a Ben Green special. Yeah, Ben Green. I don't know if he made it. I think he's definitely ordered it. It tastes homemade. It's got that... It hasn't got that restaurant feel, has it? No. That je ne sais quoi. Yeah. Yeah, don't feel obliged to... I mean, you are smashing it. Yeah, you're doing very well. I am. I'm sweating. It's delicious, though. I do think it's nice.

26:40It is nice. I mean, you know, it is what it is. I might need a bit of poppadon. You don't have to. You've done very well. It had to be done. It had to be done. Don't feel like you have to smash it all if it's too much.

26:58Romesh Ranganathan:so you what's your favourite curry? my mum makes an aubergine curry yeah fucking hell this is so hot yeah nasty it's weird it's so hot but I want to keep eating it yeah it is nice actually are you now starting to get flavours? can you stop asking whether the food has flavour?

27:20what's the man's name? Ben what? Ben Green Ben Green needs to hang his head in shame this isn't very nice at all but we plough on don't we

27:35I think I preferred it I look back very nostalgically at the bit where I'm just saying I can't do game shows there was a time we were doing this podcast

27:43Romesh Ranganathan:and we didn't have this curry in front of us yeah that was good wasn't it what I find weird Tim is the way that you're describing the curry sits in direct opposition to how quickly you're eating it I know, I know. But I think that is the thing with spice. You're acting like you love it. I'm the same with cocaine.

28:03I keep on saying horrible powder. Oh, Jesus, it's so hot. Yeah, it's too hot. Oh, God. Do you want to just get it away from you? No, leave it there. No, because there might have some more in there. Oh, my God. Oh, that's good. You've had a great career.

28:18Romesh Ranganathan:Okay, do you want to read your next question? You've had a great career and some amazing success recently with the film The Ballad of Wallace Island. Didn't you start the process almost 20 years ago? Could you not have worked a little fast? I didn't write that question. I didn't write that question. Congratulations on Ballad of Wallace Island. Thank you so much. It's unbelievable. Thank you. You sent me a nice message. Yeah, because I was so happy for you. Because I don't want to embarrass you, but you are just so brilliant. And so now I feel like, and obviously you've always been talked about in that way, and you've always had success, obviously, with Alan Parcher and stuff like that.

29:00Romesh Ranganathan:But then to see somebody you know and who you know to be, who you really like, who's also tremendously talented, to go on and achieve that level of success with something, it's amazing. It actually is a lovely, lovely thing to see. Well, yeah, that's very kind of you. This curry's too hot. I couldn't figure out if you're getting emotional or if it was the curry Both things are happening at once Do you need milk or anything? I don't want milk, thanks I might have a bit more water and then answer the very, to be fair, very nice question A bit more water, then maybe a bit more curry Did we cover that the curry is a fowl?

29:36Romesh Ranganathan:Sorry, the curry is a fowl Well, the fowl is famously the hottest of the curries Did we cover that the curry is a fowl? You cover that when you present it to someone Wowee Holy shit Yeah, forgot about that Wow, did we cover that the curry is a phar I'm going to say Well, no wonder, that's hotter than the Vindaloo Oh my god

30:04Did we cover that the orange squash is full of vodka

30:09Oh my goodness It's so hot That's too hot, that's because you've given me a phar Romesh Romesh Yeah

30:16Romesh Ranganathan:What have you done? I didn't know it was going to be that hot. It's a fall. I know, I know, I know.

30:25Does knowing that make it hotter? It does make it hotter.

30:28Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, because your reactions have gone up since you've discovered it's a fall. But by the way, it's actually my reaction in terms of sweat, which I'm not faking. No. You can't fake sweat, can you, famacy? Famacy. Wow. Okay, let's get back to the premise of this question. Yeah. Well, there's a few things there. Fuck me. Firstly, I know what you mean when you see, oh God. When you see a friend has done something and you're like, I remember thinking that when I saw Alex Horne's Edinburgh show in 2000 and maybe it's about 15. Right. When he did Monsieur Butterfly. Did you ever see that? No, I didn't watch it, no.

31:05And it was very interesting because I'm like watching it and loving it. Yeah. And then I was quite emotional near the end. And I think it's because partly it's quite an emotional show. partly the show had really got me but also partly thinking i'm so glad for him that he's that he's put something together that's this good and all of his other Edinburgh shows were all really good and this one i'm like oh this is like properly this is the real deal yeah um so it's very kind of you to say that about our film i kind of feel like very lucky that me and um tom basden were able to make it and yeah we sort of threw everything at it and you don't know exactly it's difficult to know exactly what you're making until it's sort of until you see it completed with you know edited and everything smoothed out and you're sort of interested we were talking about last night i was with him last night and i was sort of saying i found it really interesting on the train i remember feeling feeling on the train home we haven't like completely fucked it up yeah and we may have got something that's quite good, but you don't really know until it's all done.

32:13I think watching it, I was like, yeah. It's not perfect by any means, but I was like, yeah, I'm very proud of it.

32:21Romesh Ranganathan:To get the opportunity, not to get the opportunity, but to get a film over The Lyle is difficult. It's really hard. Really, really hard. To then execute that well is, again, as hard. Yeah. When you were filming it, did you think this could be special? Or were you rid of yourself down? Well, I think there's a certain element that me and Tom have a lot of faith in one another. So I felt very safe that he's a very good writer. Yeah. And so we wrote it together, but I'd say he was doing a lot of the heavy lifting. He's very industrious and very, I think we complement each other's styles very well.

33:06So I think we had a script that we both really loved. Then you just like, the way I look at it is there are some projects, I feel like we've kind of exhausted our luck in that project because we had such a nice crew. And then our director directed the short 18 years before. And he'd been out of the country for about 10, 15 years in LA. so we were lucky that he was back in in the uk and everyone was happy for him to direct it and then you know i guess we had a massive bit of luck that we asked kerry mulligan to do it and she said yes so by the time we get to wales to shoot it i think we're in about as good a position as you can be that can add to anxiety though can't it definitely yeah yeah the kerry mulligan side of things we talked about that a lot where we were like okay we wanted to get the the absolute best possible person but knowing also you're slightly stitching yourself up because you might look um mediocre next to her but i think that's the idea is obviously you get the best person you can and then you try and sort of keep up with them yeah and she was such a nice person so nice to work with that I think she made it very um easy for us to kind of um she sort of she kind of completed the jigsaw really of of everyone that was involved and was just brilliant when when

34:30Romesh Ranganathan:somebody you know does something and you see all the people you're on instagram and stuff you're following people that are in that area so they're all going go out and watch this go and watch this it's when I started seeing people I've got no you know like celebs and people like that who have got got no affiliation with anybody involved in the thing. They were going, this is like one of the best things I've ever seen. That's when I started to realize like, holy shit, they have like done something. It was already incredible to get to that point, but to then get to a point where it was talked about in the way that it has been, it was amazing.

35:03Romesh Ranganathan:Did you have like a moment where you went, holy shit, this is like far beyond what we ever thought was gonna be possible? Yeah, yeah, I'd say maybe the second week in cinemas where more people watched it the second week than the first. I mean, it's sort of quite old school. It's like, it's basic principles of like when we were doing Edinburgh, where you just want to fill your room. And you realise that there is an audience for it and more people are coming and people are telling other people. I don't know whether it's like that, a blueprint that a lot of films follow, but ours was like, that was our blueprint.

35:38It was kind of try and get some people to watch it and then word of mouth. But, yeah, all of that stuff about, like, you know, famous people watching it, that just doesn't ever – I can't really get used to that. You just sort of go, oh, that's interesting. Zoe Ball's watched it now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

36:01Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. It's, like, amazing. Yeah, it's really nice. The mad one is, obviously, Richard Curtis. Well, that was, like, kind of a different thing because all of this stuff, he's sort of a sort of subcategory all of his own because he watched it early. So this is completely organic, was it? Yeah. Yeah. I think Carey Mulligan sent it to him. She'd worked with him before and he watched it and then went on another podcast soon after that. Yeah, I saw the clip. Yeah. And I think it was kind of, yeah, it's weird. I don't know. I guess that doesn't happen like 20 years ago. It's kind of a sort of sign of our times that you can actually watch something and then get the word out because you're on a podcast the next day.

36:48But I think because he said it in such a succinct way and because he said something quite kind of...

36:53Romesh Ranganathan:It's very clippable. Yeah. I mean, literally. It's like lab designed for sharing. Yeah. It was pretty remarkable. He did what we told him.

37:04Romesh Ranganathan:Well done. That'll do, Richard. That'll do. but so so he says what does he say one of the best 10 he says something about what what a lovely film is whatever and it's nice and um yeah weirdly that and then he was like a real champion of it he then yeah raised a screening and invited some friends and things and yeah i don't know like the whole how it all pieces together making a film and then the film going out uh there's a lot of moving parts, I think. But weirdly, I think Richard Curtis liking our film is very, very high in the mix. Yeah. Yeah. But it's amazing. How do you feel about the curry now?

37:45Romesh Ranganathan:I feel much better now. I do too, because I'm going to be honest with you. It's distance, isn't it? You want it to be as long ago as possible. I was worried that it was going to ruin the rest of our chat. No, there was a bit where we were in a sort of a very interesting area. Sort of a curry cable. But yeah, we were, there was a sort of uncanny valley where you were asking a question, which was actually quite sort of emotional. Yeah. And no one knew exactly what was the file and what was the content. No, absolutely. We did talk about when you got the curry turn, you did mention your wrist. Yeah.

38:19I mean, can we talk about what happened?

38:21Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah, sorry, you have broken your wrist, haven't you? I have broken my wrist, yeah, finally. Well, somebody else broke it. Someone else broke it, yeah. How willing are you to talk about the details of the interview? I won't identify the person. Fine, I think that's fair. But suffice to say, it was a decent shot. It's subject to an ongoing court case, isn't it? It's certainly... Do you think it will take action? I'd be surprised if I don't. I've just made a movie. Got a bit of money behind me. Yeah, absolutely. Go for it. So what happened? It was just, he got it out of his feet and then blasted it.

38:53And I got my hands up in front of me. But I'm no goalkeeper, famously. and I just couldn't sort them out in time I think a double fisted punch would have been good or getting out of the way and it going in the goal just accepting the goal I do think I love accepting the goal I'm a huge one for accepting the goal

39:10Romesh Ranganathan:and I think sometimes if it's really good you just go do you know what fair play well that sort of was my position actually but unfortunately when I was saying you know what fair play the ball hit my hand I held my hands out literally and unfortunately he hyper extended my fingers yeah that's a shame but he won't be named no No. He won't be named. No. But it was like Comedians Football. Yes. Yeah. What is Comedians Football like? I've never been. It's kind of an institution. Yeah. I'm aware of that. It's sort of like a clique. No, it's not a clique. It's quite welcoming, isn't it? It's very welcoming.

39:41And it started, I think. As long as you're a comedian. As long as you're a comedian. Yeah. And it started. And white. And white. Yeah. You must be white as a sheet.

39:53You've tried to play a couple of times, haven't you?

39:55Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. I came in. they went, you listen, nice try, clean it off and go home. Who can play a bit? Oh, great. Who can play a bit? That's good. Daniel Kitson. Daniel Kitson's good. That's what I hear. Very, very good player. Russell Howard, famously. Yeah. Luke McQueen. You know Luke McQueen? Yeah, I do know Luke McQueen. Oh, he's a good player. Is he? Well, he does what everyone should be doing, and not everyone does do this. He gets the ball, he makes sure he doesn't lose possession, and he passes it to someone, and he works hard, and he keeps his head down. Yeah. Some people don't do that. Yeah, yeah, some people don't do that.

40:36No, they don't.

40:36Romesh Ranganathan:No. Some people, you know, hog it. Yeah. Yeah. Again, I can't name names. No. You should see Tim Vine's film. Have you seen that? The Elvis one? Yeah. Is it amazing? It's fantastic. Is it really? I love it. Really? Yeah. That's the best thing I've seen this year. Really? It's fantastic. So I've got to take this as a surprise. I don't mean that. I just mean like, you know. No, you can really as much as you like. Okay, really? Genuinely? No. No, it is. Honestly, it's a thing of beauty. And I think he's doing it again. I watched it like, you sort of need to see him introduce it. Yeah. He was on The Weakest Link recently.

41:14Romesh Ranganathan:Was he? And I sort of, I'd not seen the film, but I said to him, well, like, congratulations. I just think even getting a film made is unbelievable. Yeah, of course. So I just said to him, I've not seen it, but congratulations on the film. he's so like he was just oh you know it's just a silly old load of crap I know he's so dismissive that's why I was there was because I think I went to watch Sutton United yeah is that your team no he was there it's his team okay and we were talking about his film and he said he did the same yeah terrible it's you know it is what it is whatever and I was like going the next week and then when I went it's just so it's so good what's quite funny is um he's done everything yeah so he's produced it directed it written it he's in it um and it's it's the most charming 90 minutes of film it's so he's so funny in it obviously everyone else is great in it and it's just this perfect um balance where it's not sort of like um it's not a film about being low budget but occasionally he does sort of look around at the set and so I go yeah okay what's good about that is I think you complimented the film but you didn't say in a short enough answer that it could be clipped I don't want it clipped we've got our film still out yeah absolutely he also he came to watch our film and sent me a message the next day saying I knew it would be good when the director writer and actors were different people

42:46Romesh Ranganathan:so you can do that yeah it feels like a cheat code yeah Are you looking for support in your weight management journey? ZepBound Terzepatide may be able to help. ZepBound is a prescription medicine used with a reduced calorie diet and increased physical activity to help adults with obesity or some adults with overweight who also have weight-related medical problems to lose excess body weight and keep the weight off. ZepBound is approved as a 2.5, 5, 7.5, 10, 12.5, or 15 milligram injection. ZepBound contains terzepatide and should not be used with other terzepatide-containing products or any GLP-1 receptor agonist medicines.

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44:23Romesh Ranganathan:let's talk about the paper yep is office spin-off is that the right term I've actually done media training okay go on tell me so it's in the same universe but it's not a spin-off it's not a spin-off but in the same universe yeah okay have you not done the media training no did it over zoom oh okay I think basically it's just the same well it's in an office and it's the same documentary crew. That's the idea. When you're going to do something like the paper, not like the paper, when you're going to do the paper, you've got that legacy, right, of that expectation. Are you able to not be carrying that the whole time you're doing it?

45:00Yeah.

45:02Romesh Ranganathan:So basically... Do you have to sort of not give a shit? Yeah. What did you call it? Disassociation. You switch off. There's a bit where you're like, you're aware of all of that and i think the most i guess the most um you know profound moment of that is when they show you the set i remember going and seeing it last summer as we did a pilot last summer and yeah you go up there and you're looking at it and you're like this feels like quite real it's also it's quite funny because it's like both um it's very overwhelming because you're like, hmm, that's like The Office. And you're in America as well with American people.

45:45Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. I always feel that adds a bit of nerves, right? Yeah, it does, yeah. Yeah, I think all of that, that first week, well, even like the first couple of days, you're like, everything's just sort of bigger and frightening. Like even the makeup truck is like, it just feels like it's longer than our ones. Yeah. It feels like it's been stretched like a concertina. Yeah, yeah. And so instead of in our ones, maybe there'd be like three makeup people. In this one, there's like about seven. And it's kind of you can't really see the end of it. It's like it's kind of got a horizon. And that's sort of like it quite intimidating.

46:22Also, everyone's just American.

46:24Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. Where, you know, three weeks in, you're just like, my makeup person, Caitlin, I just adored her. And I just like loved going in there. I love that. which is very, very important on these shows, I find. That 45 minutes, it just sort of sets you up for the day, and we had like a decent laugh, and it's fun. So, and you get to that position quite quickly, but obviously you don't get to that position on day one. It's just like, oh my God, this is frightening. Then the first day of shooting is, yeah, it's kind of, it is frightening, and my first scene that I did is me walking into the office with the documentary crew and sort of showing them around.

47:07Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. And that's mad because I'm also on the – what did you call that when you were watching The Office? You're on that sort of – Rotate on that. Rotate on that sort of continuous cycle. I'm on that continuous cycle with the UK office. Yeah, yeah. There's not as much of it. But like, honestly – It's a much shorter cycle. It's a short cycle. But I mean, I watched – I'm on Comic Relief at the moment. Lovely. Right. but it's mad because you're literally you're walking in and saying right here's uh here's the office yeah here's uh there they are there they all are ready ready to go and you don't know also whether this will be a series a show that will be played out for a pilot yeah whether it'll be 10 episodes or whether it'll be you know the old um the full english breakfast you're not sure this could run and run so you might be pointing out someone who that might be the first thing you do on a 15, 20 year run right?

48:06yeah but I don't think about that yeah of course

48:10Romesh Ranganathan:to go into that first day with all that but it's okay after that first scene I got really emotional on my last day and I found Phil and Mandy the camera people who are effectively the documentarians. But they were so nice. And I remember on that first day, they're so supportive. Because also there's that mad thing, which is, amazingly, I have sort of had it before with Peep Show. Did like a couple of episodes of Peep Show. And the mad thing is you start filming it and you're looking straight down the barrel and you're like, oh, fuck. You just feel like you're in too deep. You're like, oh, no. Jesus Christ.

48:57and so with the office it's like or the paper it's exactly the same thing where you're looking at an actor and you also know you're allowed to sort of like look in the look down the barrel and let go and so it's difficult to know how many times to do that right yeah and no like I mean I guess fortunately no coaching no like yeah right at one o 'clock we're going to come in here and we'll teach you about down the barrel but in a way you sort of feel like you do need coaching because it's no use of you just like straight down the barrel occasionally talking to Ricky Gervais you've got to be like yeah and so but yeah having them in there and just checking in with them and and stuff we finished the scene and much like I described with me and Tom in the film you walk away and you don't but it's more lonely because it's I don't have Tom I'm miles away from um england and i walk back and i think i don't think i fucked that up but you can't really know yeah but yeah on the last day i went and found phil and mandy and gave them like a um a book and like said to them look um i'm honestly i was so nervous that first day i was like cried and gave them the book oh bye yeah that's the last time i saw them it's just

50:18Romesh Ranganathan:occurred to me that we um oh actually should we do let's do this first we've got a question from my mum of course are you aware of my mum i met your mum when taskmaster did mum come to taskmaster didn't she maybe yeah she might have done you know i was already leaning on her quite heavily by then i think you were yeah okay let's hear it so this is shanti's question hi tim how are you Romesh also liked to make his rap music, but I wonder if he could get Romesh to write a poem. For me, don't have to rhyme, but I love it to rhyme. No naughty verse. Thank you. Why is mum reading it like she's been held hostage?

51:05Was she not?

51:06Romesh Ranganathan:Well, the pauses were insane, weren't they? It did feel like that's the first time she'd seen that question. Yeah.

51:15Romesh Ranganathan:She didn't naturalise it to the degree that we'd hoped, did she? There wasn't much warmth in the word Tim.

51:29I would probably go again if we've got time. I think the crux of the question. The crux is fine. No one's got an issue with the crux. It's the details. I'm a details man we'll have to

51:41Romesh Ranganathan:we'll have to edit that where she put some emotion into it let's have it again well let's hear it again yeah let's hear it again hi Tim how are you I thought that was alright Ramesh also likes to make his rap music Ramesh also likes to make his rap music but I wonder if he could get Ramesh to write a poem yeah for me don't have to rhyme but I love it to rhyme no no diverse Thank you Now I hear it again I don't really have any major issues Apart from for me Right That's your biggest Well it's just from nowhere She sounds surprised She sounds like she's asking a question Yeah for me I wonder if you could write me a poem For me?

52:23Yeah it's almost like I wonder if you could write me a poem And then she's being given a present By someone For me And then carried on with the question

52:37the final part of the question she's holding a bouquet of flowers

52:45for me

52:50ask your next question

52:52Romesh Ranganathan:so Tim yes you've got a book out haven't you I'd love you to for me

53:09Romesh Ranganathan:could you tell us all about your book i would like you to describe yeah the book any naughty words and no naughty words

53:23thank you

53:29Oh, dear. Have you been using naughty words recently with your mother?

53:33Romesh Ranganathan:My mum keeps having a go at me about using naughty words, but actually because my mum, when we were growing up, she swore a lot. Really? Because she didn't, I guess it's because she really was like, got better at speaking English after she moved over here. Yeah. And then didn't have the same, she didn't have the same level of differentiation between non-swear words and swear words. So she was like throwing wanker and fucking all that. Yeah, I think my dad's like that. Really, yeah. Well, he'd say things like plonker and stuff, but then he'd also say things like wanker. Right. And I think I'm like looking at him thinking, I don't think you should be saying wanker.

54:11It's like, you know, calling my brother a wally and then calling him a wanker. Yeah, yeah. That's what mum was like.

54:16Romesh Ranganathan:She's like, what the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck are you doing? You know? Yeah, she does get very straight on the first episode. Keep forgetting about the Thursday episodes. Yeah, yeah, I know. You're not being told, have you, about the Thursday episodes? We're doing an episode on a Thursday where we reflect on how the Monday one went. So this book is a book... Is it too reductive to say... Reductive? Reductive to say it's a book of your poems? Yeah, well, I'll tell you what it is. It is a book of my poems. And what happened was I went to LA and I think I've got... I love that. For me. For me?

54:55Romesh Ranganathan:LA baby okay sorry go on I arrived in LA I like writing poems and I think when I first got there all of that sort of turbulence and sort of displacement and not knowing what my place was there and no like social circle or nothing yeah it's you know you've been there yeah yeah I I had a bit of a I couldn't really get to grips with it because I went out with Ben, who was directing the show that I was doing out there. It was like a comedy doc thing. And everybody had been raving about LA. Yeah. And so I went out there. Hang on a minute. Who'd been raving? Well, James Longman, who was out there working on the Late Late Show recording.

55:44Romesh Ranganathan:And then... A couple of other raveers. Pardon? A couple of other just like absolute stone cold killers. Some people really do like it. Well, Ben really loves it. So then when I went out there for the first couple of weeks, I was like, I must not be doing it right or whatever. Do you know what I mean? It takes a while to get into, doesn't it? Well, it does. Yeah. I mean, my reflections on it now is I like it. Yeah. But that first week or two, it is tough. It was so hot and you can't really walk around. I just love walking around London. That's my biggest issue with LA. If you walk around, people assume that you've had an episode.

56:21Yeah.

56:22Romesh Ranganathan:Do you know what I mean? Yeah. It's tricky. If you walk around, you are like, you know, Alan Partridge singing Goldfinger. It's like, what is happening? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This guy's lost it. Yeah. And actually, I remember my first night, I went out to get a pizza. And I look on my sort of GPS, and it's like, okay, fine. It's like a five, ten-minute walk. And then I get to this eight-lane freeway. I'm like, okay. So it's across there. and um that's not happening so back you go to the hotel and you just sort of think oh is it this for 12 weeks yeah yeah yeah but you find your you know you find your people and find your i got an airbnb and i really like the airbnb and then i started writing as well and i it it was really really useful for me writing i'd like go down to like a little dive bar or something in the evenings and write a couple of poems and then in the day go to a cafe and write a little dialogue and things and after about two or three weeks i think the starting point was don't know what i'm doing here this is crazy uh don't want to fuck up this show yeah and all of that also don't know exactly how to deal with la and also don't really know that many people here i had a friend from school luckily but not and then like three weeks later everything was sort of working it was kind of okay got to know some people in the cast um got to know la a little bit better moved into a nice a nice place which i liked started running and then was writing this and and in that three weeks i got a sort of head of steam writing this out of partly necessity because it keeps me sane and then yeah follow through with it yeah i sent it to my designer and pardon me smart yeah for me i sent it to my designer yeah and uh she started designing it and then it was kind of like a big part of my of my trip is your designer juniper yeah because there's little conversations little notes between you two it's really good yeah juniper is um juniper is my rock my everything Juniper's fantastic She's designed My All my books For the last Maybe Eight years She's fantastic I do think Well One question I'll ask you Before we get into Our little feature here Is You doing like poems And stuff on Like Okay I'm gonna I'm gonna embarrass you slightly Okay So a friend of mine Came to see you in Edinburgh I'm in Edinburgh Yeah Went to watch Tim Key five stars a master at work peak of his powers I laughed a lot congratulations and that is from Jack Shalaka so no lesser man yeah I mean he gives everything five stars but that's not the point yeah sorry the point is out of what no but in all seriousness the thing I want to ask you is I'm a very conventional stand up when I see people like you and actually you're quite unique in what you do with your live stuff was it difficult to go on because if you walk on as a stand-up, a straight stand-up, and just start doing it, the audience know what to, do you know what I mean?

59:38Romesh Ranganathan:They know the conventions of stand-up. They know the rhythm, the grammar of it. When you're doing what you do, now people know because you're Tim Kee. But when you started off, you weren't Tim Kee. No, I wasn't. I think both of those things have got their place. It's really interesting that first, when you first started, no one knows who you are. Actually, the first time I saw you, I didn't know who you were, which would have been about 15 years ago right something like that yeah and um i loved it it's fantastic but you come from a point where you know there's no expectation yes and when i started doing it i think there was there was a different energy in the room right maybe because i'm not like a conventional stand-up as well and i would always start with a poem which was like deliberately divisive just a poem that's there's nothing much there for you about a guy selling a goat or something and it's interesting because i would always play small rooms and i wouldn't like be going around the the country too much i'd just be like i did a surprising amount in the albany in great portland street but yeah so there's maybe like 40 people there and i'm not anywhere near the top of the bill.

1:00:53I'm just sort of stuffed somewhere in the middle. And so you can take quite a lot of risks, I think. Yeah, right. I'm guessing. I certainly, I think there's, I was talking to Stephen Merchant about this a while ago. And he like, I think he felt that he took much more risks when he was younger. Better stand up now. But like that stuff when he was young, it reflects very like wistfully about it. And I think I do as well. I would go out there, I'd read poems, but I'd also read a lot of shopping lists, a lot of recipes. I don't know what was going on. I mean, there was some funny stuff thrown in there, but effectively I was giving directions.

1:01:29And like telling people how to bake a cake, all this stuff, and the poems. But what it meant was I was constantly finding it amusing. Right, right, right. And there was definitely – people would come up to me afterwards and say, you were my favourite, but not many people would. Right. I think it's something that changes. You grow, I think. my first Edinburgh show was the essence of that stuff. I'd have walkouts. People would like watch the walkouts leave and find that funny and feel like they were in on the joke.

1:02:01Romesh Ranganathan:Right, right, right. Yeah, but after a while you realise that that's not the idea. The idea is everyone should enjoy it. I know, but the problem with that is, is like, is that you're under pressure to make people laugh or perceived pressure to make people laugh, but that's what the job is, I guess. Yeah, it is, I suppose. Yeah, and then you want to say, you want to be creative and say something interesting and those things butt up against each other, right? Because you're trying to like, you're just desperate to, it's the most narcissistic thing you can possibly do is that you have to make them laugh every so often.

1:02:33Romesh Ranganathan:It's just tricky. But the other thing I want to say is we said that it's a decade ago. We worked together since. I've totally forgotten. Oh, yeah, I'd forgotten that. Yeah, I had forgotten that. What did you work on? London, London. Sitcom. Wow. wow i died that was good i enjoyed that it was good relax in that lord do you know what what's quite funny about that is i remember the read through for that um i think we must have read a few episodes and i was just in one yeah and i remember like um starting to scribble down some ideas for because i was i think i was doing like a live thing that night yeah right and i think i got a surprising amount of headway in writing my new show in that read oh really Yeah, then did the part, then asked if I could keep the costume, and then wore that costume right the way through until I finished my Edinburgh show.

1:03:28It was like a green shell suit. I've still got it.

1:03:31Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. Tim was playing the leader of a group of doggers that had taken over the pub car park. I don't think I knew what doggers were. It gradually dawned on me in the room. I'm like, I don't know. Why is my guy having sex?

1:03:49Romesh Ranganathan:You were amazing at that. When you agreed to do it, I guess on that side of it, you don't realise it. When you agreed to do it, we lost our shit. Because it was so exciting that you were going to come and do it. I remember calling you a wanker lasagna. We were just improv-ing stuff, weren't we? We just stood in the car park shouting at each other. I think I had to drive as well. I had to drive off. Yeah, you did. That was a lot of pressure. You had to have an argument and then pull away. I don't know how to drive. Terrible driving. It was bad. But yeah, no, I love that. Yeah. Does that still go?

1:04:25Romesh Ranganathan:It's stuck in the memory. No, no. Actually, we did two series. And then we were like, I don't know if I want to do any more of this. Just because it felt like, it didn't feel like it kept giving up. I mean, it could have done if I'd been better at thinking. But I just felt like I don't know how much more time I want to spend with this setup. Well, I think it's almost time that we touched upon your work ethic. Okay. Because you feel busy to me. How much are you working, like, a year? How much am I working a year? Are you constantly working? Are you worried? No, I'm not. Because, you know, actually seeing you, you're very, like, relaxed.

1:05:06I think I would smell it on you. Do you think so? Yeah. I would. if you're overstretched, you can smell overstretching. Yeah. You can smell the burn.

1:05:14Romesh Ranganathan:I have actually, I don't know if it's age or the fact that I have been busy for like whatever. But part of the problem is I don't feel busy because I really like, you know, this is like technically work, right? Right, yeah, yeah. But it's not. Yeah. So then you go, yeah, I'll do that. That sounds like fun. I'll do that. But actually there is a cost. You don't realise there's a cost because you're just having a great time. But the cost is like not generating stuff. Do you know what I mean? Not generating stuff, as in like... As in like, what I mean is like... If you do this, then it means maybe you're not making a new stand-up show.

1:05:47Romesh Ranganathan:No, yeah, I guess so. Or like, you know, it's nice to talk and it doesn't have to be content. Do you know what I mean? And spending time with your family and all of those things. And actually, it's not even spending time with your family, just not doing anything. Just like... Do you go on holiday? So I always take the whole of the summer off. Then no further questions. Oh, really? No further questions. Okay, great. You do what you like the other nine months. Yeah? Yeah. Okay, great. Of course. Okay, great. Do you really do that? Take the whole summer off and then I take a few weeks off at Christmas and then, yeah.

1:06:19Romesh Ranganathan:No further questions. It does make the... No further questions. I said no further questions. I'm offering this without... I'm just continuing the conversation. I'm not listening. I stop listening after the Mock the Week stuff.

1:06:38Romesh Ranganathan:Have I been talking? Okay. This is... What are we called? I'm misquoted. This is called misquoted. I've got five quotes here. Three of them you did say and two of them you didn't. Okay, perfect. The book is available at utterandpress.co.uk. Where is it available? Actually, I think it's available everywhere. It's available everywhere. Let's call a spade a spade. You can get it on Amazon. Yeah. And after all the shanties for me, ironically, she didn't get a poem. No. Oh, that's unlucky. That's a shame. Oh, well. Unlucky. For you? No. Nothing. Should I be doing your accent when I say for me? I think it's okay.

1:07:21Romesh Ranganathan:Do you? Yeah. Great. Yeah, I think it's all right. I think if you left this room and then continue doing it in about your day, I'd be worried. For you, not for me. For me? Not for me? I don't think I can do that accent. It doesn't seem right. Okay. What about a Japanese accent? Go for it What do you think the rules are? What do you think the rules are? I think the rules are all over the place now Me too But there's a difference between what accents I could get away with and what accents you could get away with, right? Yeah, maybe I don't mean talent-wise, an ability, level of mimicry I think I'm on very, very thick ice with things like Welsh Scottish, thick ice German, I think, thick ice.

1:08:11I think it starts to get a little bit thinner if we go sort of Asia.

1:08:15Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. I think it's when the tans start coming and that's when you've got to, do you know what I mean? You've got to be careful. Let's hear these quotes.

1:08:30Romesh Ranganathan:It's misquoted. Okay, the first quote, is this true or false? By Tim Key. I love doing Nigerian accents. I can't stop doing them. Sometimes around the house, it's all I can do. That's not me. That's not even on the card. Okay, this is the first one. We did that show I was telling you about. We need answers. All right. We had a round where it's like a sort of physical challenge round. It was Martin of Fire versus Jenny Murray from Woman's Hour. And the game was to shout the loudest. so they got given each of the they got given each other's autobiographies and Alex stood between them with a decibelometer and so he'd hold the decibelometer and they had to shout sentences from each other's books it's my favourite episode but it started with Jenny Murray shouting really really loudly both my parents are Nigerian

1:09:29and then Alex going 125

1:09:37Romesh Ranganathan:Okay, here's the first one. We once spent an afternoon in the flat seeing how much kitchen stuff we could fit down our trousers. I managed a toaster and quite a lot of cutlery. That is 100 % a quote. It is a quote. And actually, no shame in it, and we have that video somewhere. It'd be quite good to link to it, wouldn't it, in the show notes? We will do. I'll try and get that. Alex Horn will have that. Yeah, we did a lot of filming together, me and Alex, and that was, I think, probably, amazingly, the highlight. Anyway. Alex Horne's amazing, isn't he? I just want to say that on the record. Yeah.

1:10:07Romesh Ranganathan:Okay, this next one. I'm useless. A total waste of space. Even these words are taking up too much room. A real piece of shit. Well, that's not me, but is it someone else? No, it's just made up. You actually said, I suppose I'm a fairly unreliable comedian and man. Wow. Is what you actually said. Yeah. It doesn't feel like there's a lot of connection between those two. How did you know it wasn't you? Read it again. I'm useless. I'm interested in what made you definite. I'm useless as a total waste of space. Even these words are taking up too much room. I think it's even these words are taking up too much room.

1:10:43Okay. That's like, yeah, I wouldn't say that.

1:10:46Romesh Ranganathan:Okay, next one. When I write poetry, I write in torrents. I have no interest in quality or finesse, only in quantity and waste. Wow. I don't think that's me, but it's true. I go and say it's me. It is you from The Guardian in 2011. Yeah, 14 years ago. I mean, look, it's fair. I like to write a lot of stuff and not edit it. I'd rather write three poems and pick my favourite one than write one and finesse it. I think that makes sense. Because I've always wondered about your Instagram. Yeah. Because you put a lot of notes up. Yeah. Are they genuine notes? As in, you know, or is that just a style choice?

1:11:23It's a great question. They are...

1:11:25Romesh Ranganathan:Not to say that to anything I've said to you. First decent question. That's a lovely question. For me. Who did it? Who did it? Don't clip it.

1:11:41It's usually, that is the poem I've just written. But sometimes there'll be like a poem I want to post and it's the right length is to put it into notes. And so that can look, it looks better than it is. I'm cooking the books there. People might think, oh, he's just written that, but actually I've written it before.

1:12:03Romesh Ranganathan:Last one. Yeah. This is the fourth one. Is this the fourth one? Have we done five? Yeah. Tanya Googled herself. Still nothing. That's me. I used to do that poem a lot, every time. Really? Yeah. Yeah, and actually it's longer. It's about three times that length, but that would always get a good laugh. And so... Yeah, it would be in all of my sets. Was it horrible watching me read it? No, I liked it. Okay. It was kind of nostalgic. Oh, lovely. Yeah. Have you got anything that you would do on stage now that's just been there for 10 years? Not that I do on stage. Well, actually, on stage, yes. But do you ever do corporate gigs?

1:12:45Romesh Ranganathan:No. So whenever you do corporate gigs, one of the issues with them is they do not have any... They can't... Nothing that requires any level of thought thought or any kind of has any nuance or anything not that i've got loads bucket loads of that works in that so you just have to go for like really punchline heavy stuff yeah and when i started out i was a lot more punchline you know it's just like direct much more direct than it is now and my opening line was uh i know what you're thinking brown comedian he's going to be banging about being asian the whole time please don't worry only 10 of my stuff is about being being Asian.

1:13:22Romesh Ranganathan:The other 90 % is about my issues with white people is the line. Great. And I started doing that and then I stopped doing it on stage because obviously, why am I introducing myself? I host a week as an Englishman, I'd say. But, but, but. How long does that take to record a series? A week. Just over a week. A week to record a series? Yeah. That's the thing. It's smoke and mirrors, isn't it? You're fine. Carry on.

1:13:49Romesh Ranganathan:Two episodes a day. Okay. Eight days. 16 apps. You don't want to see the sausages being made, do you? That's horrible. Two episodes a day. And how many of them are celebs and how many of them are? They're all celebs now. Are they? Because apparently they're a bit worried about bringing it back. Yeah. Because it couldn't be as cruel as, you know, the way that Anne used to do it was very kind of... I didn't like that. Well, it was very popular at the time, wasn't it? It was of its age. Yeah, so you couldn't do that now. So then the extra layer of concern was that, does anybody want to see non-celebrities being spoken to like that at all?

1:14:27Romesh Ranganathan:Yeah. But I'm never really horrible to anybody, really. It's just sort of like kind of light banter. I'll tell you who's much smarter than I thought they were going to be. No disrespect to them. Sue Pollard. Well, yeah. Sue Pollard's another favourite of mine. Oh, really? I saw Sue Pollard do her one-woman show in Edinburgh. Was it good? Three or four years ago. Yeah, pretty good. I mean you know obviously she's like iconic you know I used to love Heidi High my dad used to tape the audio of Heidi High and then would listen to it in the car why are you looking at me like that it's because of what I've said isn't it yeah

1:15:11Romesh Ranganathan:yeah because I was reacting to what you said it's the Heidi High stuff isn't it knew it I feel, I feel ever so embarrassed. No, don't be embarrassed. It was just unusual to record the audio. Although what I would say, he did record the audio. In defense of your dad, I really liked BoJack Horseman. I don't know if you've watched that show. I haven't. I haven't. So I love it. Yeah. And, uh, it, it, I began to find it incredibly rich because I've watched it so much. Oh, wow. Are you listening to the audio of that when you go to sleep? Correct. That's good. Yeah, that's good. I feel like, how do you, how do you rip the audio?

1:15:47Romesh Ranganathan:You don't. I just have put Netflix on my phone. Yeah. Yeah. So that's just sort of playing into the ether. Yeah. They think someone's watching it on their stats. I know. Yeah. Well, I mean, it doesn't... You sort of are, aren't you? It doesn't need my help, but... No. But yeah. I mean... It is weird. I think something familiar like that is... That is... Soothing, isn't it? Yeah, it really is. I lived abroad for a bit and I took audio tapes of, you know, knowing me, knowing you, all of that sort of stuff. But I also took Fawlty Towers. and they were actually sold by the BBC. Yeah. The audio tape of 40 Towers.

1:16:23The audio tape? And in the bits where it's like physical stuff happening, Manuel commentates.

1:16:30Romesh Ranganathan:No. Yeah. It's crazy. In his little Spanish voice, he's sort of saying, and now the moose has dropped off the wall. Yeah. Right, we need to finish because we're running out of time. Yeah. I mean, we are running out of time existentially, but for this podcast. Yeah. So, have you got, basically, we need something clippable, viral moment, exclusive. Yeah. Have you got anything? I can read you a poem. I'd love that. Yeah. Why don't you do it? Yeah. Exclusive. Okay, yeah. Mum, this is for you. No naughty words. Good luck. Thanks, mate. This is me at the end of my trip to LA. Yeah. It sort of charts me from leaving my flat on the morning to the airport, to arriving to the turbulence of the job and settling in, and then having a nice time, and then this is at the end.

1:17:29I sat down on my bed. Beside me, my suitcase, unclosable, spewing its contents, my Hollywood life. Dodger scarves and coffee beans, sun hats and snow globes, pushed down onto the possessions of the Englishman who arrived three months ago. And beyond the Airbnb, restored to neutral. Post-its peeled from walls, candles burned out, newspapers binned, pans scoured. Another attempt at the suitcase. Folding the top shell over, spread-eagling myself, forcing, farting. My international adventure crammed under my belly, my fingers groping for a zip. And now my full weight, hard-earned in bars and diners crushing my American dream flat.

1:18:12And now the zip, munching the track, steam whistling from my ears. And then silence. Game over. Chapter closed. Order Uber. We're done.

1:18:26Romesh Ranganathan:Love it. Thank you. Love it. If you've enjoyed this episode of the Romesh Ranganathan show, make sure you follow wherever you get your podcasts. Apple, Spotify, YouTube, all the big ones. and you can enjoy more great content like this. And in fact, I'll go further to say, even if you didn't enjoy this episode, just follow anyway for shits and giggles. And on the Thursday episode, we're going to be taking questions from viewers and listeners. Oh. So that's exciting, isn't it? It's interesting. Yeah. And if you've got an interesting story or a question for my mum and I, or even like a family dilemma you'd like us to help you with, please do get in touch via our email address, podcast at rangaby.com, or you can voice note or text on this number, 07731 623355.

1:19:10Romesh Ranganathan:I'm Ramesh Ranganathan, and this has been the Ramesh Ranganathan Show. What a narcissist. See you next time. Oh, shut up, Ramesh.

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