Don't Wait Another Day or Ai Will Leave You Behind! | Dean Graziosi

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1:49So I remember thinking, young, I need to get rich. I had no idea how. It wasn't for selfish reasons. It wasn't for vanity. It was to retire my mom. And at 24, I did. I still have that voice in me that says, hey, you didn't go to college. How are you partners with Tony Robbins? Oh, you're going in that room with billionaires and a president? You shouldn't be in that room. That voice still lives inside of here. So I'm not saying it goes away or you master it. What you master is when you listen to that voice, you don't live into who you're meant to be or your full potential. You're here today. You have this moment to say no, this moment to say yes.

2:19You just got to keep going deeper on the purpose to move today. The way AI is moving, it's going to disrupt so many people. And the way people are teaching it, they're starting off with overwhelming education, chasing every tool. It's time consuming. We said we need to create an AI education company that allows people, the average people, to buy back time using AI. So the approach Tony and I take is it could go down either road, but while it's here, you can't ignore it. I'm twice as fast as I was just six months ago, and I know I'll be twice as fast again in a couple of months. When you're on the investor side of things, how much of your decision to invest with somebody is based on someone that has sort of done the work to get themselves right and all that versus just that you happen to really like the product?

3:00That is one of the best questions anyone has ever asked.

3:11I'm Dave Rubin and joining me today is an entrepreneur, investor, author, and co-founder of mastermind.com, Dean Graziosi. Dean, welcome to the Rubin Report. Good to be here. Good to be here. It is good to have you because I just mentioned to you in the 30 seconds that we spent off camera that I spent about 20 minutes, the last 20 minutes, going through your Twitter. and I have to say your ex, like just seeing somebody talk about positivity and how to get your world in order and do things better and be better for yourself and for other people, quite refreshing for somebody that deals with politics all day long.

3:52Well, I'm glad I can give you a little break from that today. Okay, good. So, okay. For people that don't know you at all and the nature of your relationship with Tony, who I've had on the show several times and who's been hugely influential in my life. Could you maybe do a little bio first and then we'll dive into some of the specifics? Yeah. I think the best way is if you're going to take time to listen to a podcast or watch a podcast, you got to know, is this for me? And I think the best thing I could share is we all have a journey on our way here. It doesn't matter where the path goes, right?

4:23We all have a journey. For me, I just, I watched my mom work three jobs. My single mom worked three jobs as a kid to make nothing. And when she came home at nine o 'clock at night, just tired, exhausted. You know, when you look back, David, you can see these things now, but it made such an impression on me that I felt hopeless in helping her. She's still alive. She's heading towards 90. She complained about nothing, but would get home at nine o 'clock after her third job and we still could barely afford the rent. We got evicted a couple of times. And I think when those things happen, they can do two things for us, right?

4:59They can, they can trigger. This is the way life is. It's unfair. Or it can trigger never again. I don't want this to happen. I don't want this for my mom. And I remember being really young and I don't know. People ask, my mom's asked me, she's like, what happened to you? How did you get so motivated and inspired? I just remember a point where I said to myself, I have to retire her. Like I, and when we look back in life, each goal we usually have was inspired by something we wanted to move away from or move towards. And I just wanted to move away from watching my mom say nothing, come home tired, pass out on the couch.

5:33So I remember thinking, young, I need to, I need to get rich. I had no idea how it wasn't for selfish reasons. It wasn't for vanity. It was to retire my mom. And at 24, I did. I've been sending her a check every week of her life since then, the house she lives in, the car she drives. I feel blessed. And that one got me started, right? It got me on this drive to overcome dyslexia, overcome that I didn't go to college, overcome that nobody in my family had money. Sometimes you don't need the best strategy. You don't need to invent something. You just need a purpose so big that nothing stops you.

6:08And I think that might be the best way to help how I'm here and get to hang out with you today and be partners with Tony and do cool stuff. Why do you think so many people fall for that trapdoor of life is unfair? That seems to me maybe to be the biggest issue that we have these days because it's a certain, it's a philosophical, it's a religious, it's a societal trapdoor. And once you go down that road, it's very hard to get out. It's hard to come out. You know, I think if I just share a little bit of my past, I moved 20 times by the time I was 19. My parents were married nine times. My mom, five.

6:45My dad, four. Wow. And there was a point in my life when I realized, and this wasn't by strategy. Maybe it was by luck, but it's why I'm partners with Tony. It's why we help people see that you could shift because new schools, new rules, new step parents, new houses, new evictions, all those things. It didn't hinder me. In fact, it got me used to being okay with things shifting. It got me used to being okay with being uncomfortable, right? Not having money and watching my mom struggle. It just made wealth more about protection. So I was going to fight to be, to protect myself and protect my family.

7:23Dyslexia. It put kind of a chip on my shoulder because some people like it was easy for them to read and remember and I couldn't. So instead of being like, oh, I have dyslexia, I'm going to show them. Wait till you see what I do by just learning from other people and modeling other people. So I'm not saying this, look at me, look what I've done. I just like to be an example of what's possible when there's just a little shift. You know, I'm going to share one quick thing. Your past can be your anchor or your fuel. We know that, right? And I always remember Wayne Dyer. I Wayne Dyer is like a more spiritual Tony Robbins and he's gone.

8:01He's not with us anymore. But I remember this one thing he said and he said he found out he had leukemia. And when he first got leukemia, all he could think about is I must have drank too much when I was when I was younger. I abused my body. How could this happen to me? Why is it my fault? Is it because I went through these issues in my life? And then he said he did that for about three weeks and felt horrible. Felt like he was dying already. And then one morning he woke up. Same situation. Same leukemia. and he said, it just snapped. And he said, I'm going to be the guy who beats leukemia and shows everybody how to do it.

8:32And he said, every morning he woke up on fire. Hey, leukemia beater, what's going on? Now he passed away a few years later of a heart attack. But all I remember is it's the same circumstance, right, Dave? It's just how we decide to use it. And I don't want to oversimplify it, but you know, my father was very confrontational and argued with a lot of people and fought a lot. All of that could have been the thing for me to say, hey, it's why it didn't work out. It's everybody else's fault. But at the same time now, I'm like, thank God for all that because it inspired me to move away from it. Right.

9:05So we can truly take a past situation. We could take a belief and really spin it if we just decide it. I know it's a deeper conversation around it, but. No, well, let's let's go with that, because how much of that do you think is how people are fundamentally wired, meaning the biology behind how they work and all of that, versus just your ability to say, I'm here and now, and this is the moment and let's go. I'll ask you, you've had so much incredible success. I mean, I've been watching you for a long time, but I read your whole journey from Long Island and Brooklyn. My family's from Hicksville.

9:39That's where my whole family is. Ah, okay. So I asked you, we're neighbors, literally. And I knew where you went to school, went to college. If you think of that whole journey, in the invisible, right? When no one's watching, wouldn't you say there was a hundred, a thousand times where it's like, what are you doing, Dave? This isn't for you. Why are you in this? Why don't you do more what your family did or what you went to school for? Like, I don't know about you, but I still have that voice in me that says, Hey, you didn't go to college. How are you partners with Tony Robbins? Oh, you're going in that room with billionaires and a president.

10:10You shouldn't be in that room, that voice still lives inside of here. So I'm not saying like it goes away or you master it. What you master is when you listen to that voice, you don't live into who you're meant to be or your full potential. It's like, there's never been a time where that voice that says, we should play small. This isn't for you. You're not smart enough to do this. You shouldn't have the stress. You should be happy what you have. That voice has never resulted in something good in my life. And when I look at the end of my life, that's the voice that'll create regret. so i don't think it's about you're born one way or another i i feel like i was born a pessimist who works every day to be an optimist so i think the voice stays you just got to recognize it and be like hey you've never served me well you make me think it's other people's fault you're waiting for me like here's what i know we have to take absolute control and responsibility for our lives because no one is coming to save us that's proved no matter what people's beliefs are for the last 20 presidents.

11:07No one's come in and fixed your marriage, fixed your income, fixed your business. It's on us. And I think when you get to look at it through that lens, I think we can all make a shift towards who we want to become. Right. And I suppose success also helps frame a little bit of the past. Like when I look back on, you know, 30 years ago when I was a struggling standup comic and I literally didn't have 20 bucks in my pocket and I was putting together change to get a cup of coffee and handing out tickets two hours a night in Times Square just to get stage time and all that stuff, which sucked at the time, you know, even if it was the middle of a Nor 'easter and we'd be out there and it was miserable.

11:43And now I look back on it and I'm like, man, those were the good old days, even though my life is great now. Like I'm completely blessed across the board, but I look back and I'm like, wow, that was pretty cool that I did all that. Even though back then I was like, man, it can't get worse than this, but I just had this dream somewhere and I was delusional enough, I guess, to follow it. Yeah, but think of it. No, I love that. And isn't that the stuff, the comeback story, the breakthrough story, isn't that we're all inspired by? You watch Rudy or Rocky or Seabiscuit, you got tears coming down your face, right?

12:14It's because they went through the struggle. And I think if you look back at that, a gentleman told me this 20 years ago. He was about 20 years my senior. I really respected him. He said, Dean, those that make it are willing to pay their success tax. And he didn't say much more than that, but that's, I use it. I made up an analogy of that. Like, I think we all have to pay. You had a cell out in the streets when it was freezing and nor 'easter and you were hoping 50 people showed up and five showed up and you still gave the performance of your life. You went backstage and said, should I really do this?

12:44I probably should quit. And you showed up two days later. I think that's us paying our success tax. And I think each of us maybe have to pay little different numbers. You know, maybe, maybe Dave, maybe you how to fail 22 times and question yourself before the first breakthrough. Maybe somebody else only has to do it twice and maybe somebody else has to do it 62 times. But I think if we just look, if I pay enough of this success tax, eventually around one of these corners is another version of me that I'll like more, that I'll align more and won't have any regrets at the end. Was there a moment when you felt, boy, now I've sort of made it, whatever that meant to you, Like I've, like I have enough money.

13:24I can take care of my mom. Career is going to be okay. I'm, you know, tomorrow's not going to be a disaster one way or another. You know, that moment hit, you know, fortunately for me, you know, a couple of decades ago. But I have to tell you the thing I remember the most, again, I think when you come from a place when, you know, we did live in a trailer park for a while when I was a kid and we got evicted from because my poor mom couldn't afford it, right? So I think I did look through the lens of security, not significance, right? And when everybody was okay, but I'll tell you the moment I do remember, Dave, my, again, when you have nine marriages and 20 moves and a very violent dad who I love dearly, and he's still alive, and a dear friend of mine, I think if I really look back, the reason that I worked so hard to become successful is because I was running away from a crazy childhood.

14:18I was never in control, right? I'll get to the question. I was never in control. I had a step grandfather who was great, Leo Rizzo, come home one day, never going to see Leo again because they broke up, you know? All these things happen, right? And I think I was just fighting for control, control of my time, control of some sanity, control of having the ability to change. my grandparents were a little crazy. My parents were like, I have children and I think I've broken that. I think it stops with me. And my sister did too. She's got amazing children. Like we broke this craziness chain, right? But I'll tell you the moment that I think it really hit me that I was successful.

14:57It wasn't just money in the bank account or not worrying about money anymore, taking care of my mom. It was the moment I realized that I had spent decades running away from pain and I used money as an excuse. Well, when I have the money, I'll have control. When I have the money, I could take care of my mom. When I have the money, I could relax. And when money wasn't the issue anymore, then the only person I had a face in the mirror was me. And I remember that moment like, oh, you can't use success as an excuse anymore, dude. You have to go upstream and fix some of this reason that you work like you owe the mob money still and you don't, right?

15:33So I remember that moment and I did. I went on a journey to work on me to become a better human, better father, better, better husband. And with a last name like yours from Long Island, they're probably working. Bouncing around of the air. So tell me how you got linked up with Tony. I think people can already tell why what you do and what he does kind of works together. But how did that relationship come together? You know, I think it was a stack of decisions. You know, I bought Tony's program off of an infomercial late night, 30 years ago. I'd already, I had already owned a collision shop and an auto sales.

16:11I had 20, 20 apartments at the time. I was building houses. I was on my way and I, I bought his product, personal power and devoured it. Right. And I became a product of the product. Like I didn't dabble in what he shared. I probably wore out the tapes. I reinvented my life and I built my own credibility. By the time I met Tony, my companies did hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars. I was impacting lives. We were doing trainings all over the world. So I didn't just meet him as a fan and say, hey, could you be my partner? I met him more as a peer. And when I first met him, I was just so grateful for the spark he gave me.

16:52I was on a trajectory, but what Tony Robbins teaches. He is the goat of all goats. He made me realize, I had already started thinking of it, but he made me realize more than anyone that my past happened for me, not to me. That the craziness I went through my dad made me deeply empathetic where I could get on stage and speak to 50 ,000 people with complete confidence because I feel like I know them and I love them. I want to serve them because I had to figure out my crazy dad so he wouldn't knock the windows out of our house and do crazy stuff, right? And I started thinking of, wow, that happened for me to be better on stage.

17:24That happened with my mom because I worked hard and I had dyslexia so I could learn through listening and watching. And all of a sudden it just made me realize, hey, whether it's true or not, Dave, I'm just going to say, God, whatever your beliefs are, gave me this childhood. Hey, Chicagoland, the Wayfair store is in your neighborhood at Edens Plaza and Wilmette. Finally, you can feel the fabric, sit on the sectionals and even open the refrigerators. Plus, our in-store designers will help you bring it all together with free one-on-one design support for any project on any budget. Yep, we said free.

17:56Oh, and did we mention the cafe? So what are you waiting for? Come see all that's in store. Visit the Wayfair store today at Edens Plaza and Wilmette. Wayfair, every style, every home. So I could be the man I am today. I like the father I am. I like the husband I am. I like the friend I am. I like the partner I am. Am I perfect? Heck no. But I like that. And that hit me so hard. So I said, I'm just going to go out and do it. We met one day. We were supposed to meet for an hour, and we ended up spending eight hours together. And we had so much in common. His mom and my dad were almost the same type of person.

18:31And we just decided to collaborate. And we ended up being friends first for about three or four years. We said, I'm doing well. You're doing well. This friendship's too cool. Why mess it with a partnership? And about three years in, he's like, we're too aligned. We got to do some fun stuff together. And when Tony Robbins says, let's do something, basically, you say yes. You do it. You pretty much say yes. I was watching a video of you this morning where you talked about how, you know, people think their decisions in life basically are these like long years go by decisions when in reality they're really sort of just snap one second decisions.

19:06Could you describe that a little bit more? I thought it was pretty insightful. Yeah, that's one of those things that Tony sparked probably 30 years ago. And I like giving credit where credit's due.

19:19He said something once, and I'll repeat it, and then I think you'll realize it's true. People say, how long did it take you to quit smoking? Right? And you'll have somebody, my mom said, it took me seven years to quit smoking. No, it took seven years to think about quitting. It took you one second to actually quit. Right? And when you think through that lens, like, how long did it take you to start getting into a regular workout routine? Oh, years. No, you dabbled for years, and then one day you made a decision. So here's what I'd say is two things make you shift and make a decision. If you got nothing else out of today, here's what I want to say.

19:55There's something you need to say no to today that you've been thinking about for months, years, or decades. You know you got to say no to it. What if today was the day? And there's something else you might need to say yes to. I don't know if it's yes to the relationship, yes to finally starting your own business. There's something you've been thinking about. you wake up every morning and say yes to what if today was the day you said yes because decades are going by years are going by you don't want to get to the end and miss it and and here's what can spark that two things one a deep enough purpose whatever that is I know people talk purpose and your why but think about it I always like to look if I got to the end of my life and I made my I met my maker and he played me a video of the man I could have been if I took that uncomfortable action.

20:40I think it would be the deepest pain. It would resonate in your soul for the history of time or infinite amount of time. And I think your only wish would be, could I go back and try again? I truly think about that. That's not just something I'm sharing. And if you wish you could go back, then wish granted. You're here today. You have this moment to say no, this moment to say yes. You just got to keep going deeper on the purpose to move today. The second thing when it comes to instant change, you know, sometimes we wait until it's out of our control. We're going to work out until we get the diagnosis and then we shift our lives.

21:12We're going to be more intimate in our relationship and listen to our significant other, but we don't actually change until someone says goodbye, right? Sometimes this thing you're waiting to do is going to happen to you anyway, and it's going to be out of your control. The company is going to go out and you got to start your own thing. Right. That almost seems like an inevitability. It's an inevitability, right? It's not a maybe. It has to be in a way. Yeah, I mean, you might say, oh, I'm going to learn AI someday. I'm going to learn. It's like until AI takes something away from you, then you're going to learn it.

21:42So here's what I say is go to the end of your life. See what it makes sense. Come back in the moment. Wish granted. And then think about if you don't make the decision, the universe is good and you're going to have to handle it anyway. You might as well be in control of the choice. How often do you meet people that you feel like really have a like a really good handle on all of that and that are doing it at the level that you would want them to be as fully self-actualized as they could be? I think less than you would ever imagine, but more are doing it through consistency. So I think it's like a muscle, David.

22:21We can't get in shape by going into the gym once in a while when we're inspired, right? You got to find a way to go to the gym every day. You got to find a way to eat healthy most of the time. And if we practice this, if we check that voice in our mind, if we say, God, I've been thinking about this change for 10 years. If we're aware of these things, that's where it all starts. Awareness is where it all starts. And then you got to take the uncomfortable action and start making shifts. And the last thing I'll say about that is don't look at it like a New Year's resolution. Don't say you're right.

22:51I got to get intimacy back, lose 10 pounds, start the business. That's a New Year's resolution. it's so much but what do they say by January 19th new year's resolutions are dead isn't that crazy so what I'd say is just be honest with yourself recognize these areas recognize that voice that always tells you you're crazy or you should be happy where you are and just say oh I hear you and instead of making dramatic changes just think of one small step at a time we can do anything what's it kaizen right how do you eat an elephant one bite at a time just find the direction you want to go and take little steps each day towards it.