The Ugly Truth About DEI, Hypocrisy, & Politics Inside ESPN | Sage Steele

24:18He would melt down. Yeah, all right, it's a he. That's all we'll say. That's what, today, I don't know, he might be a pronoun guy, actually, probably. Actually. Very much so, based on the texts that we received. But he just went on and on and on and on to the point where I was like, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. And then at the end, I said to him, hi, hope you're well. Do you feel better now that you've gotten this off your chest? I hope you feel better. And he's like, actually, I do. And then he continued to go on and on and on. So what it is, is it is total Trump derangement syndrome. And as I said to him the first time he sent me these batches of, you know, I mean, they're books.

25:01They're essays. They're essays. Total essays. I just said, you know that thing that you preach? Diversity. Yeah. Diversity and tolerance and acceptance. Diversity of thought is where I believe it begins. Fill in the name. And I accept that you and I think very differently. and I support you because your opinion is based on your experience. Well, so is mine. God bless you. It's America. You vote the way you want. If you believe in God, I don't know. And yeah, it wasn't enough for him. So there's so many people who believe like him. And I don't mean which side of the aisle. I mean the fact that we, because we think differently, are idiots.

25:44Right. And then we must be lectured to. Talked down to. Right. How did you respond? Well, the first time I got the essay essay, I was like, I don't know what to do with this because it's eloquently written. This is someone I'd like to maintain this friendship or whatever we have going. And certainly admiration for how he did his job. And I tried to push back a little bit and I sent some videos that I thought might be helpful. And, you know, we still do it every now and again. But I don't lecture. For someone that's in politics 24 hours a day, I don't feel the need to do politics with people I love.

26:21Even when my mom sometimes will get on me about something with politics. And I'm like, Mom, it just doesn't matter. You're my mom. So we can do this if you want. But I do think people like this, who aren't actual friends, you know what I mean? To go above and beyond. I mean, because I do think that these people need to be shut down. Not in the way of like, let me prove that you're wrong, but like, get a life, dude. That kind of shut down. Because, or it's almost like it encourages them to think that they're going to impact us. And you know what? Yeah, maybe I'm thinking too deeply about it. But who do you think you are that you think you have the power to change my mind without even, like, let's have a conversation about it first instead of just condemning every belief that you think I have based on a social media clip.

27:16So I, this needs to be clipped right here and let people guess which figure in the sports world. Let's leave it at that. That's what I mean. Do you think is one that's tedious? Legendary, legendary. We're not, we're not overstating it. Okay. Let's leave that there for a second. I want to get back to happiness for a second. So, okay. So your disposition was always happy, always smiling, minor blip with the teeth. Okay. You go through the divorce, the work stuff, COVID stuff, all of that's happening. Did you have a real period where that went away? Like where it really went away that, just the disposition itself?

27:57Not fully. Not fully. I really credit my parents and my faith with helping me maintain the genuine feeling of happiness throughout. Now, were there dark moments, sometimes daily? Yes. But it was a moment or a couple of hours, a period, right? Where I always believe I'm going to get through it. And some of those moments were created by me, you know? And so what do you choose to do with it? And at the same time, just as I was in the middle of the lawsuit using that example, and then going to work every day and so scared, but I was still getting to do the job that I loved. And so you've got to compartmentalize.

28:46That's what I say to people. Like two things can exist or four or five things at once. And I thought also as a pride thing, am I going to let them see that they're affecting me? Hell no. Like that was an ego thing. And I did, I do believe, and I might have told you this before, I do believe that during that really dark time when all those things were happening, I did my best work for sure on TV. I did my best work during that craziness. At home was tougher, but maybe easier because I was so distracted with three kids. And, you know, now they're 24, 22, and 20. So when you go back six years ago, do the math.

29:27I mean, I was in deep with them, you know, and they provide such joy and chaos that I was so busy. I didn't have time really to wallow around and just feel sorry for myself. And I have these great parents who you've met who love you. Your parents are phenomenal human beings. My dad just turned 80. Like I'm so lucky and they've been through some stuff. So I'm like, who am I to go through this while still being able to pay my bills? So I think maybe that's one of the few things I'm really, really proud of is just being able to maintain perspective through it. Doesn't mean you shouldn't be in those moments where you're sad and angry.

30:09That happened for sure. And grateful at the same time. Have you ever finished a conversation, an interview, or a meeting and realized that the most important part wasn't what you forgot, it was what you never wrote down? That's why I've been checking out Plod. The idea is simple. Some things are just easier to say than they are to type. Instead of trying to listen, think, and take notes all at the same time, Plod captures conversation so you can stay focused on what's actually being said. If your day is filled with meetings, calls, or interviews, the Plod Note Pro is built for exactly that. But the device I've been using most is the Plod Note Pin S.

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31:15I don't know that it's quite as like, I'm glass half full for sure, but I always, people always say, how do I like, what's my like sort of view of the world or lens of the world? I would say I'm like a world weary optimist. I am an optimist, but I'm kind of like, I don't know, can it really get better? But we better, we may as well try something like that. But in that you have brought up your parents, I only have one highlighted thing on this piece of paper that I have not looked at while we've been sitting here in front of me. But it's the lifelong lesson that you got, I believe, from your father, the harder right over the easier wrong.

31:48I really like that phrase. And that, I guess you've sort of illustrated that here a couple of times, going to work in a situation that was quite tense while you were suing your employer and still making the best of it. That's probably your best example of that, right? It comes from the cadet prayer. It's a chunk of the cadet prayer at West Point, United States Military Academy, where my dad graduated from in 1970. And as kids, myself and my two younger brothers, he made us memorize that part of it. Make us to choose the harder right instead of the easier wrong and never to be content with a half truth when the whole can be one.

32:23as kids. And then you get older and you still repeat it because that's what he required. Oh my gosh, the number of times I've been able to find answers by applying that. Hard to write, easy or wrong. That lawsuit for sure. Because I mean, it would have been, and it was for many years, so much easier to ignore it and keep going and keep getting that big paycheck, right? And I I mean, legitimately, when you have three kids and then after the divorce and the financially responsible part for everybody, like, oh, my gosh, I had to shut up in order to take care of people, right? Yeah. I didn't want to blow up my career, all the things.

33:05And then you get to a point where there are lines crossed. And you have to ask yourself, what is your line? And I didn't know what mine was until it was crossed very publicly by them. and I remember talking to my parents about it and it was the harder right. Now, my parents were scared and they're like, maybe you should choose the easy wrong this time because this is going to be a really big deal. Yeah, I have a hard time believing they said that. Not at all, not at all. I think sometimes they're like, oh gosh, what did we do? We've encouraged her to be strong and true to herself, but for her kids and for others.

33:38Good headache for a parent, I suppose. Yes, but when you're in the spotlight and I guess a public figure, all I want to do is be a sportscaster. Our dummy here didn't think about, you know, when I had this dream in the 80s that what public could mean in today's world, for sure, none of us could have imagined it, right? And what comes with it. But that second part of the prayer, the truth, never to be content with a half truth when the whole can be one. And that is what this new chapter of my life has turned into, is the whole truth, even in some crappy, uncomfortable ways, like to be honest with you.

34:14But I know this, and this is what I, if I get the opportunity to speak, which I've been doing more of that, which has been so fun, to be vulnerable and to let others know that, yeah, I went through this. And I still am smiling and I'm still grateful because it made me better and it taught me lessons. And so when you get up there and you talk about that and you say, okay, we all have that, but we all deep down know, I believe, we usually know what the right thing is in those moments. And it is harder. And there's the reason why it's hard. But on the other side of it, you know that you truly did the right thing.

34:53I know looking back that it was the right thing for me to stand up to ESPN and Disney, especially based on what we know today, five years later with the vaccine and the mandates. Are you kidding me? I laugh. And then I still get angry because I'm like, you idiot. You didn't have to blow up the world. You didn't have, I'm watching one of the Fauci documentaries right now. And I'm so angry and disappointed. And so I knew that it was the right thing without knowing how my life would turn out, without knowing if I'd ever have a job again. Well, that's interesting to me because the career part, because obviously we can talk about this.

35:28You mentioned the second chapter and now you're newly married and everything else. But the career part, you could have just as easy, had you not done anything back then and gone along, in some sense, like anyone that works at these places is just a good an interchangeable part. So they could have just been like, well, we have a new girl and she's 20 years younger than Sage. And she's not as good because you were a great broadcaster. But like, or they might have said she's better. It doesn't even matter. But all these people on these networks are basically interchangeable parts. So it's very likely you could have not said anything, not done the right thing, and also be out of work.

36:02So - If I had said, true, true, and at the same time, if I had really gone deep on those left-wing narratives, and not stood up for women in sports, and some basic things, I'd probably still be there. Like, my life would be completely different, and I would have been celebrated more there, as others were, especially people who look like me, skin color, who had those opinions. Oh, you're using that skin color thing. I know. I'm going to use the race card. So I don't know, but I implore people to think about that, the harder right instead of the easier wrong. because I regret taking so long to have the courage to do the right thing in many ways.

36:45And so I just hope that by sharing it, others will really look deeply inside, push through the fear, which is real and legitimate quite often, and just know, like, you listen to yourself and your gut about these things, you're not going to have the regret of waiting. Now, the journey is the journey. It takes what it takes. All those things are true. But that's what I hope, is that by sharing that people make those decisions, those tough decisions, those tough choices, sooner. Since you mentioned the skin color thing, let's do this in under, let's see if we can do this in under three minutes. How boring is the race thing to you?

37:21Like, in general, like, that you're going to, one way or another, you're going to end up on a show or be brought on a topic that often will have to do with that. It's exhausting. Yeah, it's pretty exhausting. It's exhausting. But honestly, I think if I think deeply about it, I can go back to the late 90s. Right at 99, 2000, I was working in Tampa, and there was a job opportunity. I was at the ABC affiliate and trying to expand my resume to a regional network, Fox Sportsnet Florida. And I was going to cover all of central Florida. This is when I lived in Tampa, St. Pete. And ends up, I had a very dear friend whose wife was in my first wedding.

38:02And I helped set them up. We had a very longstanding friendship. And he was a sportscaster. And I ended up getting the job over him and a few other people. And I found out later what he said. Well, we all know why she got that job. Not only is she a woman, she's a woman of color. So that's easy. She checks two boxes for the HR department. So, I mean, black woman, she's going to win every time. Broke me because it was a good friend of mine. And so I've thought about that moment a lot over the last probably five, six years since the summer of love in 2020. Right. Because this crap started a long time ago, right, where it was always about race and sex, you know, more so than I think we ever dreamt.

38:40I mean, that it would become a part of our lives now. Is there a double irony there, though? because in some sense he was probably right in some sense, right? Like he probably was, but your anger was probably more towards, maybe if it had happened, if your understanding had been different or something like that, you would have been less angry at him and more at the system, right? I think a little bit of both because I, yeah, I was hurt by my friend. Right. And hurt that he didn't think that I was qualified with my skill set to get that job. He just was like, that's the only reason she got it. And then you start thinking deeper, maybe.

39:18I mean, they would never have read it. Right, right, of course. And it was before it was called anything. Before DI and all the departments that were focused just on hiring people who checked all these boxes. Because I always was like, no, no, no, this doesn't matter. Like, they're not going to do me a favor because I might check all those boxes. But when the camera comes on and the light comes on, if I look like a deer in headlights and can't do the job, I'm out. They're not going to care because their bottom line depends on if I can do that job during that moment. So I always said, no. I mean, that might get you in the door, but not at certain levels.

39:51Ends up I was wrong as far as today's world, you know. And so the irony is very thick. And then now, even more ironic, to think about why I'm hated so much by many on the left, black people, white people, Hispanic, whatever it is, because I'm not fitting in their box. Because anyone who looks like me is supposed to think a certain way, act a certain way, marry a certain way, vote a certain way, talk a certain way. And they don't know what the hell to do with me. And I think it's super frustrating because I can't be put in any box. But now with my conservative, now that I'm out of the closet with my conservative, right?

40:35Then it's, well, I mean, she's a right winger. And she, you know, married a white guy. Look, her kids don't even look like her. So she's a total sellout. And this is what we expect. And so she's just over in this little pile. There's so much irony, but I don't, this is why I continue to call it out. If you or someone you love is on Medicare, this is worth paying attention to. Medicare can be confusing, and a lot of people end up on the wrong plan without even realizing it. That's where Chapter comes in. They're independent Medicare advisors who compare every plan available, not just the ones that pay them the most.

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41:42Because it's like, I think I told you this before, but until your wedding, until I met your parents, I had seen a picture of your dad or a video you did with your dad, but I didn't know your mom was white. It's utterly irrelevant. But someone that then comes from a white mom and a black dad having to be asked about race all the time, then your thoughts are also out of what the mainstream wants out of you. I could just see it being like, this is such nonsense. But I also did put myself out there by calling out Barack Obama for identifying as black and completely ignoring his white side. Right. Which I'm like, wait, no.

42:17I mean, he's a good-looking man. and like be proud of all of you, not just half of you, you know? And so I think that by doing that, certainly, I mean, God forbid someone who looks like him with your skin color calls him out for anything, much less that. And this is a super sensitive topic, but it's also sensitive because my whole life I was told to choose and basically finally got the courage to say, screw you. No, all you people who are preaching diversity and tolerance. Like, I am the definition of diversity based on my white mom and my black dad. Right, by the stuff you guys care about. And I'm so proud of all of me, my Irish-Italian side, my black side, all of it.

42:58But now it's not enough because I am choosing to also celebrate my white mom, who happened to be there the day I was born. Like, God forbid, you know? So I just, I feel like, and I've had so many people, Dave, write me or come up to me, biracial or the white mom in the picture with the black dad who feels like maybe she can't have these conversations. She doesn't know how to do her daughter's hair. There's such confusion and there's pressure put on them. How about we focus on love and the fact that two people fell in love and created a family. And so I will never be silent on that because the number of biracial kids who are told to choose and told that they're not enough, usually by the black side, not the white side.

43:42And I don't ever want, if I can help by talking about it, I'm going to do it, even if it gets me more hate. Did your kid, did any of that affect your kids? A little bit. Because people come after them on social media for any reason. My kids, though, me being half black, half white, their father all white. And you've met my kids. They literally look more like you than me. Like, they are white. Now, each one has a little bit of a different feature of mine. My youngest, Evan, she's a little darker, has my smile. Nobody got this. Now, if one kid had curls, I wouldn't have been asked if I were the nanny, for sure.

44:17But that still happens. It's fine. But that's the thing. You never know when you start mixing us up. And I think that's the beautiful part of it, you know? But the race card part with the Joy Reads and Don Lemons of the world and Abby Phillips and all that crap. I mean, they can kiss my half-black, half-white ass. Because I'm like, stop making this a thing. You ask people to not treat you differently because of your race, but then you want to be treated differently because of your race. Which one is it? And unfortunately, most of America doesn't have the cojones to call them on that. Did you ever see that incredible video before Don Lemon went completely insane?

44:52It's got to be—it could be 10 years ago on CNN. He's interviewing Morgan Freeman, and they're talking about race. Have you seen this? And he asked him, well, how do we solve racism? and Morgan Freeman, just that perfect Morgan Freeman way, is just like, well, stop talking about it. And Don's like, yeah, yeah, that's right. And then Don also did videos about how maybe black kids should pull their pants up and try to look a little more professional at a job interview, like basic stuff. Basic. And now he's gone completely the other way. I'm always fascinated at people that evolve the wrong way, right?

45:22Like they always say, you know, if you're not liberal in your 20s, you have no heart. And if you're not conservative in your 30s, you have no brain. And like, I think most adults can understand why that makes sense. You start realizing all the things before you and everything else. So when someone evolves the other way, I, like, I can only think it's either like a mental defect or genuinely like a career grift in that case. So like with him and joyry. But I do think so much of it is financial. And there's just, we've talked about this on Natural Friends, there's just too much money that they're not willing to leave on the table to drop the race card and the grift.

45:58Because there's enough people in this country who aren't willing to go a little bit deeper than all the low-hanging fruit that they drop out there. And, I mean, oh my gosh. You know, if you vote for Donald Trump, then you don't believe that we should have any immigrants in this country. and like the levels to which they go. And then everybody goes, yeah, yeah. So there is some mental illness there. But listen, that's not very kind, is it? I think we're going to cover it on, well, not very kind, but it's kind of true. So I think we're going to cover it on Actual Friends this week. Although again, this is airing in a couple of weeks, but you saw this ridiculous story of this gay cruise that couldn't dock in Turkey.

46:37There's 2000 gay guys on a boat somewhere and they couldn't dock in Turkey because Turkey didn't want the gay crews to dock there. And then they tried to go to Egypt and it wouldn't dock there either. So they're all trapped on the boat and you have all these gay guys doing selfies like, oh my God, see, this is Donald Trump's America. And it's like, no, it's Turkey and Egypt. You can go anywhere in America. So it's like this disconnect of reality with these people. And then it's the Trump derangement syndrome that you can't go into Turkey. I haven't seen that video. Oh, we're going to cover it this week.

47:08Oh God, I just, all right. All right, let's leave that there. I want to spend the rest of our time before we head to dinner talking about love. Let's talk about love. I love love. You find your second love. Well, I think your second, right? I don't know if maybe there was an early one before the marriage. I don't know. I'd say... Was it your third love, fourth love? No. Second? No, I'd say, right, second. Second love. Second, that's it. Pretty good. I mean, listen, to say the L word, it's a big deal. So you find your second love. Do I say age? Can I say age? Yeah, I can say age. You're like 50.

47:4853. That's what I was going to say. You're 50. If I whisper it, I don't think the mics can catch you. At 50. So you found it at like 51-ish or so, right? I was two weeks before my 52nd birthday when I met Dave. Right. I love Dave's, by the way. I love Dave's. You have a lot of Dave's. I think I have a lot of Dave's in my life. You have a lot of Dave's in your life. Listen, when I go to dinner tonight with my Dave, you, and your Dave. Yeah. At least he goes by David or it would be really, really confusing. Yes. But when we met a couple years ago, and people have heard us tell this, so I'll do it quick.

48:20You were standing literally right there. You turned around. I was like, man, that is my long lost sister. And then we've just had a great relationship for all these years. But one of the things that you were really saying to me was, I got to meet somebody. I got to meet a guy. Am I ever going to meet a guy? Did I sound desperate? No. No, no, because you were like up front, like not in a, no, it wasn't desperate. It was just like, it was just like, I'm out there now and like, I want to make it happen. And it was just so obvious to me that it was going to happen to you. Like, it was just so freaking obvious.

48:51But it did happen pretty quickly, I suppose. It wasn't obvious to me at all. Because I viewed myself as I had been told by one guy I dated in between my husband, that 2019 divorce and meeting Dave, who worked in basketball. And I mean, I was controversial. I had become controversial. Yeah. And I actually understood it. I'll ask him privately about all the really controversial things off air. Okay. We'll do that after dinner. over how many bottles of wine. I mean, I understood because I wasn't everybody's cup of tea, for sure, with my opinions. And since he worked in the NBA, it was like, oh, gosh, if I'm seen with her, is that career suicide for me?

49:42That was his thought process. And that was fair, considering the NBA. And then considering the cancellation process I was going through. And I was dating him when I got canceled. Yeah. So that was in my head because it was true. And there were people who were afraid to be around. I had girlfriends who were afraid to be around me and said, we can't post things on Instagram. Sorry, I love you, but. So why wouldn't a guy think the same way, you know? And so then I just thought, gosh, maybe I'm too controversial. Maybe. And then I'm in my 50s with three kids. There's some baggage. Like, I understood it.

50:15And so I just kept saying whatever God's plan is. And that's why I left Connecticut when Evan went to college. And I came down here to Florida. You know, I had the condo since COVID 2020. And then I said, I'm just going to go full time. And I sold the house and sold everything in it up north and just downsized massively and came down here and said, well, let's just see what happens. And then I chose to say yes. I chose to say yes to a lot of things. my girlfriend whose husband couldn't make it to this charity event where I met Dave. Oh, right, right. Yeah, she was like, hey, if that can't come, can you be my plus one?

50:57And I'm like, sure, when you want me there. Like, just say yes to things that in the past would have been like, oh, it's expensive. You know, in two days from now, the plane ticket will be expensive and blah, blah, blah. I don't have to change this. And you just do what's convenient and easier sometimes and maybe cheaper. And I was like, just say yes. You never know. To be with her. That was my only goal, not to meet someone. I had really let go of focusing on that altogether. Not that it was a focus focus, but it was a desire in my heart. And I have my parents as an example. In October, they'll be married 55 years.

51:29And so I have this beautiful example of love through tough times as an interracial couple when they met and got married in 1971. right after interracial marriage was legal, right? Like they had been through it and are at 55 years. So I was like, I want to recreate that if I can. And I feel like I have a lot of love to give. It's a matter of somebody taking a chance on me. That's literally what I thought to myself. It was that simple. My parents have 50, I'm 50. So 50, they'll be married 53 years this August, which I guess it's not until a certain point in age where you realize like you could look at your parents and have whatever your issues are with your parents and see all those things and then one day you go man you've been doing this for that long like that in and of itself How long have you and David been together?

52:18We got married in 2015 but we've been together for like three years before that so what is that? 14 years 14 years and they're at 53? And in gay years that's like 62 years Is that like dog years? They're like dog years They're like dog ears. That's a great point. I agree with you, actually. I think I loosely stole that joke from the Golden Girls. That's gayer than anything I could possibly do. Take it. But you start seeing people. Isn't that great, though, when you see people that have been together for so long? It's like, wow, like they believed, you know, it's a sort of Jordan Peterson-esque kind of thing, but like they believed in something bigger than themselves to do it one way or another for all the ups and downs and everything.

52:58And it is pretty incredible. It is. And that's been, they've been my guiding light. And I also knew, I mean, they've been super protective of me from day one, obviously. And especially after everything personally and certainly professionally. And I'm pretty sure they like Dave more than me. And I do too. Like, I get it. And there's a history there with our families that, you know, we, our moms have been friends for 30 plus years from their army days. when my dad and his dad were in the Army together in Leavenworth, Kansas, Fort Leavenworth. And the moms were friends, but we had never met until that night at that charity event, Tomahawk charity event in Nashville.

53:42And so there was a lot of divine intervention, I believe. And also when I talked to my mom the next day and said who I'd met, she was like, oh, he's a good guy, good family. So I automatically felt like I had approval because I will say this, even in my early 50s, my parents' approval matters. Mattered that day, matters even more now. And they don't always approve. They've been disappointed in me for things, for sure. But their blessing, this would not have happened without their blessing. And, you know, asking the right questions, he and my dad have talked about it and the conversation they had, which we can tell you about tonight, maybe, if they're willing to share it.

54:25When he asked for my hand in marriage and asked my dad first, the traditional way, like second marriage in our 50s, you still ask the father, you know, and what my dad said to him that day. Whoa, it was it was emotional. I don't think I realized how much my my dad was like, you know, protective until Dave told me what my dad said that day, knowing that Dave was my person already, but he still had to say it. so yeah love exists and I never quit on it I just didn't know if anyone would take a chance on me

55:06and he did well now I won some Chipotle because we had a little bet could I get Sage to tear up you did it to yourself you did it to me we didn't have a bet but we do have a way you see this little you see like a little there's a little something you did it Well, this was exactly the type of thing that I wanted to do in Off the Grid August. Because I'm trying not to bludgeon people with all the stuff that I wanted to do. But it's the person, like, this is the stuff that matters. And this is why I love you, because you're open and vulnerable about so much, too. And you were with me the first time we met in L.A., when you came on my show two years ago.

55:44Because it was like, gosh, there's so much more than politics and our opinions and the stuff that people want to divide us with. I love you. with you. We got a great dinner ahead of us tonight. It's a spectacular restaurant. You're in good shape tonight. Thank you. I just follow his guidance and I just eat what he tells me and drink the wine he tells me. You're going to be in good shape. Life is good. Thank you for making me cry. Again, screw you. You do this every time. We did it. Chipotle.