5 SECRETS of Ultra-Successful People That Will CHANGE YOUR LIFE

23:30Right. You can use the resources to create bigger projects, bigger production of movies and videos that can then infect people in a positive way. Yeah. People have to get out of their way about money. Yeah. And it's the hardest thing. Trust me. It was like there were parts of when we did our first launch, you know, when we did our first seminar, afterwards I went broke because I didn't know how to do it. Didn't know so much. Just completely went broke. Had to live with my girlfriend. who's now Denise, my wife. And she was buying my groceries. She was supporting me. She was kind of the only person who knew what I wanted to do and really the only person believing and cheering it on.

24:08I had that great support. I always say, people say, you're so lucky, but I'm like, I am. I had a car accident that smacked me in the head and made me say, I want to live my life. Luck number one. Luck number two, great parents. Luck number three, a girl that believed in me when I didn't even quite believe in myself. Wow. What year is this? I met Denise in 2003. Wow. So we were together five years and I proposed, so we've been together a long time. Wow. But I remember even sitting there when I was, you know, bankrupt. And she's, you know, sleeping in the bed and I'm on this little desk next to the bed and I'm writing and all my bills and my paperwork and my vision boards were on the bed.

24:50and as I'm typing she comes over and crawls under the covers to go to bed and I look over and it's my woman sleeping under my bills like literally and I would say none of us want to be responsible for the pain in other people's lives because I'm inaction I just hadn't taken action but I also didn't I just didn't have any attachment to money my whole life even now I mean you've seen what we do on our big trips I'm like let's go I mean I go crazy helicopters and this whatever It's like, have a great time because I don't have an attachment to it. But what I do have an attachment to is the mission.

25:24And I want to help people achieve their goals faster. I want to help people realize they have a second chance on this planet every day that they wake up. And if you have a second chance every day, that's like evergreen. Every day is your life's golden ticket. You get to choose when you woke up this morning, what's my attitude going to be? How I'm going to treat people? What I'm going to focus on? What I'm going to make happen? How I feel? We get to choose these things to an extraordinary extent. So my whole thing is like, hey, you have a second chance. Use that. And this time in your second chance, in your next relationship, in the next job, in the next moment, be more intentional.

25:58Be more service-driven. Lead with more heart. Make sure you're doing things that bring you meaning. And if I really believe that as I tell it to you, then I would have to build the infrastructure to sustain it. That's where the business thing comes in. I had to go, all right. And there was nothing about this business I was attracted to. Like literally. You're very introverted. Very introverted. Like I'm still, you know, I'm awkward even right now. I'm awkward in a meeting. Like I'm just, you've been with me on a deck by a pool. I'm different. I'm more relaxed a little bit. But I had to learn everything.

26:33I had to learn how to speak. I was terrified of public speaking. I had to learn how to do video, which was a super awkward, hard thing. Now we've had 250 million video views. But the number I'm really proud of is 15 million hours. of my online training has been watched. Wow. 15 million hours, that's a lot of, that's a million. But, you know, that's instruction, not, no cat videos, no memes, no reposting other people's stuff. That's like online training content, 15 million hours. So, that's a lot of teaching. We have 27 online courses. 27 I've done, and I was terrified of video. I had to learn podcasting, I had to learn how to write books.

27:13But all I had was after my car accident, I said, I want to inspire people to understand we all have life's goal and we have a second chance. We can all live, love, and matter if we make that our intention. So let's start measuring ourselves and being more purposeful. And then I had to figure out how to do it. Well, you have to master your mindset. You have to master your habits. You have to be better in your relationships. You have to live for something. Optimize your health. Yes. So if I really believed in that, I had to step back at some point and not go, what are my strengths? Because my strengths were sitting on a couch and eating Cheetos.

27:43it's like at some point you go no no what what is i want to be of service to high performers don't often ask just what are my strengths i'll just do that they say what is required to be of service here and let me grow into that i had to grow into a business owner like i had to grow into a communicator i had to grow into a writer and a podcaster i didn't know how to do any of that i just had something i wanted to share and teach the world i had to learn how to be a researcher and conduct like original full scale psychological research which was high performance habits like I don't know how to do any of that.

28:13But if you believe you have a message in your heart, you will know that you have to build the infrastructure for it. Because if you don't make the money, you can't sustain the message. It's hard, yeah. It's hard. Your advising to Jay is really great because he's doing great now because he's changed that approach. Yes. And now he still cares about impacting as many people as possible, but he knows that the business model needs to be there, and he's been crushing it on both sides. He's been doing amazing. yeah now who should be thinking about becoming an influencer and who is it for and who is it not for because you're the introverted guy so if you're introverted and you're scared and you've never spoken before you've never written a book should you even be thinking maybe this is for me or maybe it isn't yeah i'm just thinking in my head is just saying that how many of our friends and fans like brendan's not introvert i know you're i always say listen you can't write six books and not be an introvert you know you can't you can't sit and do the hundreds of hours of curriculum development without being introverted but uh no i think introverts can come extroverts can come it's somebody who says you know what i want to be a person of influence in the world where i'm affecting positive change and you want to figure out how to have a career doing that it's those two things first is the heart and the soul of it it's like i want to create positive change i want to be a role model and i'll say no one seeks to become an expert or a thought leader which is what we used to call it.

29:35Now we just call it influencer. But no one seeks to become an influencer unless in some way they have the role model mindset. That mindset that says, you know what? I want to do good and have other people see that and maybe inspire them. I want to lead my life in a way that's an example for other people. And as soon as you decide to adopt the role model mindset where you say, I want to be an example for other people, it requires you to do the hard stuff. It does. To work out. Stuff you don't want to do. You don't want to do. You don't want to push yourself you don't want to but to be a role model you have to demonstrate integrity and discipline and service and most people they won't challenge themselves that much so i think first is the role model mindset so first i i have that i want to affect positive change i want to be a role model for other people i want to inspire people i want people to see the passions i have and maybe learn from those passions and i want to give people you know empowerment and then the The other side of it is, oh, well, I wonder how I do that and get paid as a career.

30:35Because while influencer is like the popular word right now, this industry has been there for hundreds of years with publishing. It's just changed now. Influencers sit on top of more publishing platforms than we used to have access to. But at the end of the day, we're still publishing content. We're still promoting and pushing work out in the world. But people go, how do you make money? Well, now you can earn money in so many ways. So many ways. The problem is most influencers coming up today think they're going to earn money just by doing brand deals. And I'm going to get popular and do brand deals.

31:05I'm like, oh, you just, they're not, they don't understand the model. It's like, you know, we say in Montana where I'm from, the time to have the map is before you enter the woods. Yeah. And I'm like, if you're trying to figure out the influencer space and you want to know all 12 major ways to monetize your voice, your content, your message, your brand, you should learn that as a menu before you pick one. and most people are earning like this much when they could be earning 10 or 12 times more if they just understood the model, but they think they're so clever and they're inventing this. Like I know so many, I mean, so many people like, oh, we're not, you know, I'm original, I'm doing this.

31:39I'm like, this was here before. You know what I mean? Just you and me too. Like we rode in on giant shoulders. And so I think it's for people who really have those two things. But there's more money to be made now as an influencer than there ever was before. There's more opportunities. these, there's more models for making money, different methods. And you've got a couple of key themes and a framework on becoming an influencer, figuring out your message, the model, the mechanisms, everything. And I want to kind of break them down. The first thing you talk about is the message. It's getting clear on your message is what I'm assuming, right?

32:14As an influencer, is it important to know what your message is? And how do you find your message if you're trying to become an influencer? Yeah, because the death of most influencers they don't realize is their randomness right you know they're just excited i'm gonna post everything you know and i'm gonna talk about everything but they've never created a cohesive message that their audience goes i get her i understand her it's not like you have to say the same thing over and over and over but there has to be something that means something to you like one thing i admire about what you do buddy is how you talk about greatness that theme and that messaging is so tight and honestly over the last three years when I listened to your show, I'm like, he's just dialing this in, right?

32:54You, you know, your word choice. Now, you know, your phrases, you know what you're saying. It's not just being repetitive on those. It's just, that's who you are. And that integrity of your message is being shown. So you better be intentional about the kind of person you're trying to become. Cause most people think about message. They go, Oh, so I need to have a mission statement, Brandon. I'm like, no, no, no. You are the message, the integrity of who you are and how you show up energetically and how you treat other people that's the message the role model mentality yes yeah yeah the role model of your message that's it yeah yeah yeah because that's what integrity is it's like people are going to watch you and go are you congruent here and there uh and if you're not it's like that message feels funny to them uh but you and i both know a lot of influencers they've never done any deep introspection yeah they've put on 50 different clothes and you know beautiful instagram things but they don't know who they are where they've got the mental health challenge, which is what we'll talk about later.

33:49But the message, getting clear on your message and kind of the theme of your brand, the theme of your influence, I think is key. And this cannot, listen, it doesn't mean you have to be a perfect human being. You're going to make mistakes. You're going to learn. You're going to grow. But it's like trying to be congruent with your message consistently. For you, you know, it's high performance habits. For your book, you talk about it in your podcast. You talk about it in your events. You live that and you showcase that. For me, with greatness, it's kind of like, what are the core themes of living a great life and business, health, relationships, and everything involved.

34:20And it's trying to do the best to live that all the time and talk about it consistently. Including the failures. Absolutely. That's part of it. Showcasing the failures. I think when influencers showcase their mistakes and failures, it makes them more real, more likable. Yeah. That's why everyone likes me because I'm a hot mess all the time. Exactly. So you've got to get clear on the message first. Do you have a mechanism for, it's like, well, I kind of like everything. like how do you figure out what your message is is there is there a process or just like some journaling that you could share yeah i mean first sitting down and saying what do you want to be a role model on like if if you want to be a role model what is it about is it and how does that translate into a person's real life like what would you say to an actual person to help them or inspire them and you just have to start writing those words like what would i say like what would i say it's that old thing of like what what if you could put a message on a billboard or if something was written on your tombstone, what are those things?

35:14For me, a lot of people know it's live, love, and matter. Because when I faced my death as a 19-year-old kid, I was like, oh, I learned I really want to live life. I learned because I was a heartbroken kid, I wanted to love again and feel my heart again. I learned that life is super short, so you better make your difference. So live, love, and matter became central to everything I did for 15 years. Every message revolved around that because that was me, and that was a unique experience I had. I think a lot of people have to go and dig down deep into their experiences of their life and say, what were some of the gifts of the lessons that I learned?

35:48Some of the awful things that happened to us or the challenging things, those struggles, there's a story there. And that story can reveal some lessons or things that you might be a role model to for people. And it doesn't have to be so finite that just like this is it forever. Because you'll keep evolving. You'll keep learning. But there's hints there. and you can go dig in your past to find some of those hints. You can also just ask, well, what are the passions that I really feel in my heart that I just want to communicate right now? Some people, it's like, well, that's fashion for them. Some people, it's health for them.

36:20Being a mom. Some being a mom, being an educator, just showing everyday life. That's fine because ultimately, again, you are the message. So the most important thing isn't to figure out like, what am I going to say? It's the most important thing is who are you? Who are you is the key. Dig deep, man. Asking that question. Yes. Who are you? One of the things we do is I ask people, you know, come up with three words that describe the best of who you are. Like these are aspirational words. If you think of like three words, when I'm at my best, these three words really define me. And then I say, okay, now figure out what are three words that really describe the best of you when you're with other people?

36:56Like how do you treat them? And then what I have them do is I literally have them program in their phone as an alarm. Yeah, I have that in my alarm. It's still 8.30. You still do? Yeah. That's it. I need to change to like 6.30, but it's like an 8.30 a.m. reminder. Mine's still in here. You know, I've been doing this for whatever. Let me see. There was my 9 a.m., dynamic, bold, and confident. And that was for today because I was like, you know, I'm usually a little more reserved in Lewis's interviews because he's the man. You know, be a little more bold and confident. I have loving, giving, achiever.

37:24That's it. Yeah, loving, giving, achiever. So I could probably change that too, yeah. Yeah, so I switch mine every week. So three words that you would describe as yourself and the three words that you would want other people to describe you as or that you would describe yourself? Yeah, so three words you describe yourself as, like the best of who you are. Yeah. And that's just you, like your identity. And then the other one is more like relationships, like three words to describe how you are with other people. For example, my word there, bold, like that can describe me as a person, how I think, but I wouldn't want you to ever go, well, Brendan, when he's with me, he's real bold.

37:57That's different. Like how you are with other people should have a certain definition and description and how you are by yourself should have a certain and that's how you start to know yourself like oh i'm like this is a person and with other people i'm like this is a person and it's like shaping your own internal identity of your qualities yeah and reminding yourself of who you are labeling yourself a little bit in a positive way yeah because most people they take the labels the world gave them oh you're just the athlete lewis yeah right if you just took that and that was all you ever owned and you never explored beyond that we wouldn't be here that's true right we're here because you explored who am i and you are still doing that so am i like it's not like it's a thing that stops but people want to see you working that through i think like 15 20 years ago like in my teens i used to say like man you suck to myself all the time yeah you're a loser you suck i hate you you know i'd say these words to myself like you're never going to do anything better than this person or you're never going to be a nut whatever i would say these things internally yeah and those start to shape you as well yeah and they start to shape how you treat other people your reactions and how you treat yourself that's right so i think this is a very powerful simple exercise that we've been doing for so many years now that we kind of forget yeah the power of this yeah but i'm glad you made this reminder because i never saw those say those things to myself anymore it's always like you know you're kind you're loving you're passionate you're wise you're giving you're caring i say these things all the time.

39:24I never even say anything negative. Yeah. You give yourself patience on the days you're not. Absolutely. And that's a hard thing for people because they're supposed to be kind. And one day they're a jerk and then they're, I'm a jerk. And they go back to that old bad label. But it's like what your audience wants to see, if you're an influencer is you working through the development of you. They want you, they want to be on that journey with you and see like, Oh, I see him or her becoming because they're willing to ask the hard questions about themselves and explore who they are. Because you can't be an influencer and not explore who you are.

39:55I mean, even the great presidents of our time were always in motion of exploring who they are, the great business people. I mean, it's not like Elon Musk has been exactly Elon Musk exactly 10 years ago as he is today. It's like you're seeing this evolution, this change. And sometimes it's a hot mess. And other times you're like, oh, this person's, you know, people want to be on the journey with you as you're exploring who you are and if you're not exploring who you are you're not growing and if you're not growing the audience is not growing starts to die they're not interested so true uh so get clear on your message figure out your three words and that's a great start there now the next thing is figuring out your market yeah what do you mean by that what is a market yeah well when i don't like that term especially for guys like you and me who we do like so many walks of life listen to your show and my show multiple industries and markets yeah i look at Like, you know, how you look at the analytics of like my, when I look at like the Brennan show podcast is like, holy crap, all these countries, all these, like you can't, if you come to our events, I've gone to your events too.

40:56You can't do a demographic run of that audience. Not like all 32 year old males, sales executives, the car industry. That's the old world of marketing. You had to speak to one specific person. What people don't understand if they've never studied the history of marketing is that the reason that niche marketing came out, that concept of just identifying one person to talk to. And some people now say, you know, identify your customer avatar. I'm like, no, you're identifying avatars. It's plural. Because the reason that came so popular in marketing back in the day was only for one reason, because in the 20s, sort of the golden age of marketing and advertising, you only had so much budget to run a certain ad on one platform.

41:35So you really had to get super niche and narrow. Now we're able to reach a couple billion people. Now we're able to have broader conversations. So what you want to do with your market is try to understand what are the aspirations of the people I want to serve looking like? It's about the aspirations, not about the demographic. It's the mindset. Yes. And I always talk about that. Like for me, school of greatness is not about, you know, the 32-year-old mom with two kids. Right. It's more of a mindset and a mentality. Yeah. And that's what we look for. Someone with a growth mindset. There you go.

42:13I call them conscious achievers. People are looking to achieve in their life, but in a conscious way. They want to grow personally and they want to impact people around them. I love that. If they have that mentality, then you're a part of the community. And that's who I try to speak to. But it could be a 16-year-old or a 60-year-old. Could be people from all over the world. But it's like this conscious achieving mentality. I love that. And that's what I focus on. I love that. You got to have that. Yeah, you got to have that. And what I tell people all the time is like, if you're not out with your students, your fans, your followers, and you're not really getting to know them, at some point you're going to lose that audience because you just don't know them.

42:50It's true. You need to know what's in their heart, not their age. You know it in their heart, not every part of their background or where they were raised and everything else like that. That kind of market analysis is overdone and corporations love to pay for that. And when they do deals with me, they're always like, tell me everything about your people. And I'm like, they have the aspiration to go to the next level. That's it. For me, that's it. That is my market. I have always, for the last 15 years, marketed and talked to people who were in that transition moment of their life and ready to go to the next level.

43:21I didn't speak to those who were just starting. That was my audience, you know, who didn't know what person. I always went high end in the sense of, like, I speak to people who are ready to go to the next level. They've already got one level of, you know, security or, like, sense of themselves or success. And now they're like, you know what? Next level time. So they're like in that phase where like gearing up, you know, they're like, here we go. They're not kind of like, oh, I don't feel motivated. I don't, I don't get, that wasn't my audience. My market was an aspiration to go to the next level.

43:51And I was focused on that. And it's what made for me with our brands, like, how did you do all those seven figure launches, 28 of them? I spoke to that aspiration specifically. So people knew this is for me. So here, this is for me. So in like 20 seconds, say you're doing a video to attract the aspirational mindset or the heart set of this individual. Yeah. And you have a video that spreads out to the world. And you know it's going to attract a certain type of person to come into your offering. Yeah. What would you say in 15, 20 seconds, a few key words that would be leading people into kind of where you wanted them to go?

44:29So it was the right kind of mindset. Yeah. What would you say? you're somebody who you've already, you feel like you've tried everything. You know, you've been at this for years. You don't feel like you've gotten that breakthrough just yet. You're doing good, but there's too many days you don't feel as motivated or as driven as you really want to, to go to the next level. And you feel like you need some more empowerment to really achieve that next level. Not kind of like just get inspired or motivated because that can come and go, but rather you're looking for real tactical solutions that will help you earn more, that will help you become more that will show you like step by step this is how you reach that next level and not from my opinion it's that i've spent 15 years researching the highest performing people on the planet what they do is very specific and if you're honest you haven't been very specific you've been random and because you're good you already have some success you're able to just go through the motions yeah but going through the motions is the killer of the high performer it's true right Right?

45:25Because - Good to great, yeah. Yes. You can be good, but that's not going to take you to the next level. So I'm going to assume you're already good, but you sense inside that there's a restlessness and there's a struggle there that you don't know what that breakthrough feels like. But you also, you're very aware there's a next level. You have a dream. You have something you want to achieve. So let's just dial in your motivation. Let's dial in your habits, but let's give you the discipline and the willpower to make it happen. So get clear on your message to the market. Then there's a method. What does the method mean?

45:51I always love to talk about method with people. It's like method acting? yeah yeah yeah no for real it's like like picasso had a method van gogh had a method beethoven having a method like they were thoughtful about the art of what they did and influencers need to think about that like you thought about like i want a podcast it's going to be like this exactly and as you hone that in over the years the podcast got better yeah because you brought more intention to the method right that's true actors who just show up and kind of read the words, not good. But the greats, they're so thoughtful about the turn of the phrase and how they're going to do this, right?

46:31The great musician, the great artist, they obsess about the actual art of the thing. Because again, just showing up, especially when you're good, it's going to limit you. Now you want to be more intentional and say, what is this? It's like I've shared with you before, having the blessing of working with Oprah, she starts meetings by asking, what's our intention? here. Greatness requires a lot of intention. It does. It doesn't just happen by showing up. You've got to get clear on the results and the experience you want to create. You see a really high achieving influencer do a photo shoot, way different than somebody who's not high achieving.

47:10The intention and the placement of things and where this goes and how this works. Closing everything. That's method. That's like bringing art to the method. When I wrote Motivation Manifesto, So I was like, okay, I'm going to write a book that's never been written before in its tone that hasn't been seen in hundreds of years. I was like, how do I figure that? I'm like, it was an art project. If what you are doing as an influencer doesn't feel like an art project, you're just simply doing it wrong. And you're going to burn out and you're going to quit. So give me examples of methods for someone like a Rachel Hollis and a Jay Shetty.

47:40Yeah. What's like their method from your point of view? Yeah. Jay's super intentional about his videos. Like I sit him down and we did Influencer Day with him. and I asked him like 40 questions. How do you do these videos? He's intentional from when the video is changing to the tone of the music and when it's lifting to when other people appear in the video versus just him. He's intentional about the length of the video. He's intentional about what day the video is posted. He's made it. Time, everything. Because most people slop it together, throw it up. He's like really try to dial it down to a very specific process that draws emotion from people.

48:16and so that's a method yep you know and his thing is viral video yes it's artistic viral video that creates an emotional feeling for someone it's not just like this scientific videos yeah or how-to videos yes it's like an emotional feeling that people want to watch and share and you've thought they're that too as well that's why you've got you know hundreds of millions of views and it's just like you know versus guys like me who sometimes just put up a very inspiring video but we didn't put the B-roll in. We didn't put the musical up and down. We didn't clip it at the right spot. It's a different method.

48:48Exactly. Different method, different results. And to those who put more into the method, they win. They're the better artists. An influencer has to understand you are in the art of impacting people. And if you're in the art of impacting people, you better focus on the art as much as the impact. That's really good. Yeah.

49:11that's become sort of my obsession is getting people to understand you don't read a book to check a box you don't go to school to impress your parents you do it because the skill that you will acquire lets you do something in the world that other people can't do or you wouldn't be able to do and that has a material impact on your life yeah i feel like you and i are very similar in the fact that we talk about skills a lot and acquiring new skills and i think when you have a down phase or a breakdown phase, that's when you should think about what are the skills I'm lacking that could benefit me so this doesn't happen again.

49:41I remember my early 20s, I had a lot of free time because I was broken on my sister's couch. I just obsessed over skills. And when you learn a skill that is hard that you don't think you can accomplish and you actually master it, for me, I feel unstoppable. I feel like I can accomplish anything. I feel like even in a setting where I feel uncomfortable, as long as I know in the back of my head, I've got these other skills that maybe they don't know about that I could pull out at any time. It just makes me more confident. I don't know if you feel the same way about acquiring skills. 100%. Yeah. And it's interesting.

50:14And I know you talk about it. So some people in your audience, I'm sure have a sense, but I think of you very differently than they think of you. So I don't think of you as on-air talent, though you were obviously very gifted at that because I've spent so much time with you outside of that like talking strategy around how do you grow a podcast how do you get good at um youtube how do you build a business like whatever and seeing how adept you are at those skills like that's where it gets interesting so that people understand that all the things you talk about all the training that you do and stuff it isn't the part that they see like the school of greatness is sort of the tip of this very large iceberg of skills that you're building um and that to me is the fascination.

50:53When you're not focused on the tip, but you're focused on actually building that foundational set of skills, what you can do with your life and what you can make as the tip of the iceberg that other people will recognize becomes really, really interesting. It's interesting. My skill was never, I'm a good interviewer or a host or anything. I never learned that skill. My skill was actually, my fear was connecting with people. And as a teenager, I learned that in order to become successful in my life, I had to learn how to connect with people and build relationships. So I turned a fear into a superpower of building relationships.

51:28Then translating that into, okay, let me interview people was another thing I had to learn, but it was never my gift from birth. It was a skill I had to acquire and overcome. What was the greatest fear in the last five years that you had to overcome that has now become a skill or a superpower for you? um i think the only thing that i've sort of thought through like that is i feel like kobe bryant when he split from shack and it was like he wanted to he obviously had won a championship with shack but could he win a championship on his own and so my last company was so successful but i did it with two partners and so now to have a new partner in lisa it's like okay can i also lead this team to a championship.

52:14And so that drives me in a way that I find so fun of like, okay, cool. Hey, as a part of that group smashed it, but can I do it over here? So that like reinvention, you know, trying things and letting myself feel the weight of like, Hey, you gotta, you gotta prove it, buddy. Like, you know, you had a big success once. Can you do it again? And so doing that under new circumstances to me like i love that like i love the excitement of can i willy won't he uh so that's a lot of fun but that's something that i think if i thought about the world differently so i don't value myself for achieving it so whether i achieve it or not is irrelevant but showing up every day and sincerely pursuing it is what i value myself for and i like to feel that sort of weight of like hey maybe you won't maybe you're gonna fail maybe like it was only you as a part of this collective hey you did a great job there or maybe it was just that moment in time yeah yeah yeah like you you rode a wave but like over here can you create something from scratch can you repeat it uh so yeah that it's not it's not i don't live in a space of letting that be a fear sure sure but it's like that is it's a cousin of that feeling where do you think uh all success starts with well the fast answer is mindset going back to the only belief that matters you said it it's your the way you act is ultimately all that matters and the way you act follows what you allow yourself to believe maybe a better way to say it is what you choose to believe so if you choose to believe that your energy and efforts will result in more skill set then you will actually put energy and effort into getting that which means you actually will get the skill set but if you think well my talent and intelligence are fixed So no matter how much I work, I'm never going to get better.

54:03Right. I can't be a fast pig. And if you don't think that putting time and energy into it will yield anything, then you won't put time and energy into it and you thusly won't get the skills. So and if you don't have the skills and you can't do the things other people can do. And so people just get stuck because they don't have the only belief that matters. So they don't put the time and energy. And so that's like where everything starts is, are you putting the time and energy into getting better? Yes or no. Yeah. And when do you get the most angry and reactive? Are there things that make you reactive?

54:36Yes, very much so. Maybe not angry, but like, this frustrates me. Don't do that. I think the same. And I think you're right. I'm not somebody who's quick to anger in 99.9 % of my life. You might not scream with anger. Oh, but I want to, Louis. That 0.1 % really does get for me exactly where you're going, which is um when i see somebody accept excuses make excuses do less than they can and it impacts me so if i'm honest if it's just impacting them i don't get angry right i feel compassion yeah but when it's like and now you're dragging me down now you're slowing me down now you're trying to talk me out of something now you're telling me i dream too big now you're hurling stones at me or whatever because of something that you've got on you and I'm freaking you out because of how I'm moving or what I'm going for or whatever that actually does make me angry so how often how often does your team make you frustrated if they're not taking responsibility 100 % of time and because we have like so one thing I learned back at quest because we grew so fast and I just wasn't smart enough at the time, you're only as good as what you write down.

55:50And you can be small and sort of communicate everything in these interpersonal relationships. As you get bigger, it goes away. Yeah. And hope people have it memorized or something. Interesting. You're only as good as what you write down. Correct. When you're running a company. Yeah. In terms of like having a process documented that someone could implement, not just a simple conversation that you hope they memorize 100 so coming into impact theory you have to sign it's not a pledge but it's about as close to a pledge as you're going to get and it's our culture code document and it says things like you will take 100 responsibility for your job you will be expected to look beyond your role i mean just like all these things i love this and one of them is i only want to play with hardcore and it says this is not a safe space so do not come here expecting people to um like look we here's the thing i also expect you to elevate your team and to lift them up and to celebrate them and want them to win and like cheer them on and never worry about whether it was your idea the only relationship worth being in because all relationships are sacrificed the only relationship worth being in is where you feel like whoa like this person really cares about me and i want people to retire at impact theory at a time where millennials stay at a company for 18 months.

57:06I'm asking them to stay for 40 years. Wow. Now, to do that, I've got to give you emotional stability. I've got to give you somewhere where you can build trust, where people are honest with you. But in being honest, people are going to be direct. They're going to say hard things in the spirit of, I want to lift you up. I want to see you get better. Because remember, we believe that you can get better. And if you put your time and energy into improvement, then you actually will improve. and therefore you get more out of your life the company gets more out of your involvement but like i really had to be hardcore about that because you know you'll hear a lot people say you know don't hire for skills hire or culture or john wooden sort of the best explainer of this the famous basketball coach i don't look for the best player i look for the best fit that really is true man when you get somebody who like you can really relate to and you can say hard things and they're receptive and they say hard things you know they're coming from a good place it elevates you yeah and it's fun to be around right as a social animal we just love that stuff um so that's huge but i'm really hardcore on the way in so that once you're in like we can give you grace like imagine if you were on my team and i don't i try never to refer to people as employees i slip up from time to time but i really think of them as teammates yeah so if you're my teammate and you're like hey look man i'm really having a hard time my girlfriend and i are we're just in a dark place right now and i'm going to need a couple weeks just to go sort it out don't even explain i got it cool i got you tell me what i need to know to be able to pick up the slack for you um we refer to vacations as being sacred so we don't have the only vacation policy we have is that it's unlimited so do whatever you want get your work done you need to be a high performer yada yada yada but like if you need the time to deal with your girlfriend the death and the family yeah whatever take that time be an adult autonomy is huge for me i assume it's huge for most people So, but to do that, you've got to say, this is the criteria we expect you to meet.

58:58You need to be high performing the rest of the time you're here. And if any of this turns you off, this is not the place for you. And it says that in the document. Like, if this does not, if you're not prepared to do this, this, this, this, this, this, this, then this is not the place for you. Wow. So, is it literally saying in a line, this is not a safe place? Yes. This is not a safe space. What does that mean, not a safe space? It means that I'm going to make absolutely no effort to protect your feelings. I'm going to never, ever, ever sacrifice clarity for kindness. Now, I will be as kind. I want to be kind, dude.

59:35I want you to be kind to me. I want to be kind to you. My wife is my partner. I would never want an environment that was tearing her down. So it's like in the spirit of trying to elevate people. I'm not a Machiavellian kind of guy. That's gross to me. That is such a turnoff. I want to, like you would treat a friend, dude, if you're in a dark time, you're going to underperform and I'm down. I'm with it. I will do your work for you to create the space for you to have that moment. Because I know at some time it's going to be my moment. But that only works if I'm not parasitic, you're not parasitic.

1:00:07It's going to be hard enough if you don't have ill intent. Now, if you are lazy, if you have ill intent, if you are trying to milk the system or whatever, then it's never going to work. But if it's just legitimately you're going through a period we will all go through, which is a very hard time for whatever the hundreds of reasons throughout our lives that we will underperform, be in a dark place, whatever. If at that moment people lift you back up, they brush you off, remind you of who you are and who you can be, and they love you and they're there with you. Cool. We all get it. But to do that, you really have to have a code of behavior on the way and you just have to like the the every day of it all what do we expect and i want to be around hardcore people yeah for their own reasons right i don't want to have to sweat you i don't even want to think about you like i want you to go i want you to go do your thing i want to do my thing i want to be able to count on you to crush it and you can definitely count on me to crush it and then if i need you i will ask and hopefully you will aid me and if you need me fuck i'm gonna run to your side to help you but i don't want to micromanage yeah so like i want you to be good at what you do to be getting it better every day for your own reasons and there is a certain subset of humanity that is like that if you get them in your company and you set them free they won't all get in the groove but 80 it's pretty magical what's the best hire you ever made my wife besides your wife um there have been a lot dude i'm super stoked in my team.

1:01:40How about instead of saying a person, I will give you types of personality that I find intoxicating. Number one, somebody who is so convinced that they're not yet good enough to achieve their dreams, but so believe they can get there and are what I call a relentless problem solver. A relentless problem solver is worth their weight in gold. I don't need them to be highly educated, they will educate themselves over time. Somebody who's not afraid to speak to power, that is a big deal. I have a very strong personality and unintentionally I shut some personality types down. And a quote that popped into my mind one day when a person who shall remain nameless didn't use these exact words, but basically said, slow down so I can lead.

1:02:31And I was like, yeah, no, that does not work. Someone on your team said that. Yes. Not an impact theory. But at a point in my life, somebody once effectively said, slow down so I can lead. And I remember being incensed that this person would allow themselves to say those words. Like that's so anathema to who I am. Like I could see myself saying, I can't keep up with you. You need to lead. And then I would follow and be the greatest follower that I could be. so that notion of like i want people that make me sweat i want people that are like they're trying to be so good for their own reasons that i'm like yo whoo like keeping up with this person is intense that's intoxicating for me so the times that most frustrate you you have a code of ethics when people come in so hopefully you're not frustrated because they understand their accountability their actions, the behaviors, everything.

1:03:26But what are the times that frustrates you the most outside of your company? Oh, just in my personal life? Yeah, just in life in general. Inefficiency is the only thing that winds me up. It's the only thing that I will say I'm irrational about. You're reactive too. You see something and you're like, ah. Yeah, but nobody in the outside world would know because that's just ridiculous. I recognize that it's an offshoot of something that's very powerful in my life. My obsession with always doing things as efficiently as possible but I also recognize that life isn't like you can't on my deathbed I will never say wow I was efficient efficiency is useful towards getting to a goal and so I prize it and I love it and all that but my wife has tempered me and shown me that sometimes just the connecting just being with somebody just sitting and being is is joyful is enough yeah yeah not even not even just enough like it it is precisely what the doctor ordered and so and I'm not great at that not having not having to be efficient all the time at something like I'll give you an example my wife on a Saturday will be telling me a story and I'll be like oh god please like narrow this down like say this faster and every single time I have done that I have thought that was a really dumb way to handle this moment like let that part of your brain go part of this for her is the joy of telling the story and if it takes her an hour and it's joyful for her what does it matter and having to sort of step in and out like i've done everything i can to confuse whether i'm at work or at play and moments like that where at work the efficiency really really serves me but now at this moment with my wife and we may even be talking about work but it's in a different context it's a saturday you know and just sitting in the kitchen and you know enjoying each other's time and she'll talk about something that bumps me back into a work mode and now I'm just sort of coveting that efficiency and it's just terrible for the relationship.

1:05:22You know what are the most fun moments for me of witnessing you in the last six years was? No. Can you guess? I actually have no idea. I think you saw me we're in Puerto Rico and you were sitting with your wife on a on the beach you're on a flatbed chair sitting back just holding her just sitting there looking into the ocean no phone no nothing maybe you were thinking about business in some way but i was like that's a really nice moment to watch you be calm and be still me emotional lewis no i'm serious though this just came to me because i only see you in hustle walt disneyland out of the matrix world like let's crush it but i was like this is a really nice moment to just witness for a few seconds you be present with your wife and i'm sure you do this all the time on the weekends and stuff but it was like i want to see more of that as your friend yeah yeah it can be 10 minutes a week it doesn't have to be all the time but this was a beautiful moment that i was like that's what i think the world needs more in general in their own lives i'm not saying that's what you're going to do because your personality is driven on other things but i think it's in some ways healthy as well I don't even think you have to couch it.

1:06:36It is extraordinarily healthy. I think it's absolutely necessary in everybody's life, mine included. Part of what makes my marriage my single greatest joy is Lisa is good at what I am not good at. And so very early in the marriage, we said, okay, you're the canary in the coal mine. So I trust you. If you ever say we need to slow down, I will slow down instantly. You're more important to me than my business. so and she is never abusive about it so whenever she says something like hey let's go sit on the beach i know be there on the beach with her i'm not like hey she's not looking at me she's facing away on the ocean so i can think about whatever i want no no no it's like that's where you smell the nape of her neck and you like drink in that neurochemistry of that bond how do you how do you silence your thoughts over the obsessiveness of what you want to create in the moment of being present and connected with your partner?

1:07:33One practice, so I meditate a lot out of necessity. And then two is understanding that when you reinforce a behavior, you really start to get something positive out of it. So when I'm there, like literally yesterday, there is a smell that my wife gets on her neck if she hasn't showered in a day. So she might skip a shower on the weekend, right oh my god the oh my god it is the most intoxicating scent ever and scent is the only of the senses that goes directly to the part of the brain the emotional center of the brain everything else goes into a relay station first it's the only part that goes directly into the limbic parts of your brain so that's why when you smell a barbecue or whatever you're like a kid again and you're just in it and when that smell is on my wife's neck nothing else exists it is just my wife so lisa just don't shower every other day if you wanted to slow down or do something else i mean that's one trigger it's yeah so what do you prize right what is your value system so nothing not all the business success in the world has brought me the level the sustained amount and the amplitude of joy that being in a relationship with my wife has brought me so i have so much clarity about what my values are it's just that they don't often conflict but when they do and my wife says, hey, slow down, or hey, I need time, or let's make sure we take X number of days off a year, whatever, I do it, no questions asked, even though I'm sort of hard charging the rest of the time.

1:09:05And so we do dumb stuff. We shut down for Christmas. Our impact theory, my wife and I just talked about it this year, we will always and forever shut down for about two weeks at Christmas. And I don't expect anybody to work. I'm not going to be working. Go be with your family. Don't think about this stuff. Does not working for you mean actually not doing any strategizing of the mind, not taking notes or working on an outline for a potential book? Or, oh, this is a great character for my next movie. I would do anything that's fun. But work is fun for you. Yes. So there will be some fun things I'm sure that I will do.

1:09:40Yeah. But I'm more off the radar during Christmas than other times. So you're off the radar for Christmas in two weeks? is more productive than most people's entire year on the radar. Well, so, and we can talk about that because that, that I have gone way, way, way out of my way to make sure that I built, because so Lisa and I had enough success. I never needed to work again. So if you're going to work, then you might as well structure for two things. The moment, like the in the moment joy. So doing this hard thing, I actually find intrinsically pleasurable. And I will say 40 % of my life, work life is that 60 % is not, but 40 % is I would do this, whether I was building a business or not.

1:10:20Getting paid or not for it. You love it. That's huge. And then the other is impact. So if you can make impact doing something that you would be doing anyway, that's amazing. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally, as well as ad-free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well.

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