5 Ways To Self-Mastery & Manifesting Your Dream Future w/ Shaolin Master Shi Heng Yi EP 1418

0:01I firmly believe that taking charge of your mindset allows you to be in the driver's seat of your life and unlock your potential. And that's why I'm thrilled to share that my new book is out right now. It's called The Greatness Mindset. In it, you'll learn how to build a plan for greatness through powerful exercises and toolkits designed to propel your life forward. This is the book that I wish I had 20 years ago. It's everything I've learned in the last decade with the research and the science to help you unlock your mind. Make sure to go to lewishouse.com slash 2023mindset to pick up your copy of my book, The Greatness Mindset, today.

0:40Ill will is a state of the mind. Doesn't matter if it's towards yourself, towards another person, towards your colleagues. It's always the same ill will. It is something inside of you, which if you don't pay attention to, is going to be a hindrance along the way. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur, and each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

1:21I'm so excited that you're here because I feel like the modern world is lacking self-discipline, self-knowledge and they're lacking connection to their authentic selves as human beings and I've been there in my life where I've lacked these things as well and it's a constant process of learning staying accountable and disciplined to these teachings that you have so I'm very excited that you're here and I want to I want to make this a very special long format episode in the interview and I want to ask you first about the five hindrances that you've talked about online before. These hindrances that hold people back from mastering themselves and their inner world.

2:08I'm curious if you can talk about what those five are first.

2:14So when it comes to developing something about yourself it doesn't matter what it is. If it is just following up in becoming great in any type of sport or even if you want to build up like a small community or something for yourself. It's about if you want to go somewhere, if you have a goal and want to go somewhere. along this way you will meet different type of hindrances that we call that will sometimes make it difficult for you to let's say reach the goal where you would like to go and to very easily explain it one way for example is if you are too easily being caught by positive emotions Which type of positive emotions?

3:09All types that is raising something inside of you that you are relating to. That feels really good now. But it takes you out of your ordinary. So that means you have a goal on the mind what you want to achieve. You start walking. You start doing your jobs and your obligations. But along this way you are meeting a distraction. Which is giving you a lot of positive emotions. because you are in that average state of the mind, that overall, let's say, normal state of the mind. Now, if it takes you out of the average of being positive, it's very easy for us that we get attached to these type of feelings.

3:54So what it ultimately means, you're going to lose track of your goal because you would prefer right now to spend more time with all of these things that give you positive emotions. Can you give an example of one of these positive emotions or a situation that someone might have? Positive emotions, for example, let's take a very nice one, fame. Yes, you have a goal in the mind what you want to achieve, but along this way you feel there is that word of fame. and so what does it mean? It means you are getting the views, you are getting the sight of different people and now you are encountering something that you haven't planned about it before but now that you meet it and now that you feel it that it's this type of fame that you could get from the people well now the question still is if you can stick to your initial plan or not or is the fame going to move in front of all of this and it's not your mission anymore that was important to you but now suddenly you are replacing your initial goal with something that gave you positive emotions along this way.

5:10Right. So the positive emotion, is that the first thing that could be a hindrance for you? I definitely think it is something that you need to consider as a human if you walk through this lifetime and want to build something which is out of the ordinary you are 100 % going to meet various positive emotions and one of them is just that example that I brought right now but it can also be very simple things that your eyes are catching the attraction too quickly about things that look beautiful about things around you that taste too great that smell too good so that means it's very easy especially nowadays with all of the advertising being around to lose your awareness in the outside in the outside distractions let's I like this.

6:13So I think, is this what you call sensual desire? Is this like having too much sensual desire, these positive emotions around the senses? Yes. That could distract you. For example. And why is it called sensory desires? Because those desires are based on our five senses, for example. Because just think about it in very simple terms. Everything in this world where you say, I like it or I dislike it. Those things happen only on five different levels. Either you see something that you start to judge, you smell something that you start to judge, you taste something, you hear something, or you feel something.

7:00So it's the five senses actually that are building the bridge between what we regard as the outside impacts and what you internally are then afterwards reacting to. And this is not to say that sensory desire is good or bad. It's really important to understand. I'm not talking about good or bad. I'm talking about if you have a specific goal on your mind. there are things that can happen to you which will be useful to have and there are other things that are going to hinder you along this way hindrances yeah hindrances and so right now it's not about good or bad it's about a hindrance if you have a goal just take care that these things are existing the positive emotions just like the negative emotions negative emotions meaning you have a goal, you are already preparing yourself to go there.

8:07But now things are becoming difficult. Your daily schedule is not going according to plan how you wrote it down in your schedule. Things are coming in that you didn't expect. Because you didn't expect it and maybe are not prepared for it, it can easily happen that you are getting stressed out by so many different impacts so that means there are now events coming along this way that are giving you that are raising negative emotions inside of you and so what does it also mean it means that the chances at this type of mental states it's easy right now to find an argument and give up and stop the journey And this is exactly, it's the five hindrances of the mind.

9:04What I'm talking about is mental states. Beware of your mental state. Now sometimes in different traditions, you hear it already, we have the body and the mind. Sometimes you also have traditions where we talk about the body, your thoughts and your emotions. So now you suddenly have three areas. You can make as many areas as you would like because these are just concepts. They are there to help us humans just get into the right direction that you can work with. And now the reason why very often we are only in our tradition say there's the body and the mind and are not separating anymore into the feelings is simply because of this feeling and mindset mental state and the way how you feel i think they are very very close related to each other and what you can try to just observe about yourself is the feeling no matter what it is very very often is just the postponed let's say the postponed reaction of what way before that was already implemented inside or cultivated inside the mind can you give an example of that yes you go to any type of meeting where you have persons that you maybe meet for the first time just choose any of them before you talk to this person sit somewhere in the corner always observe the person and pay attention to everything that you can criticize so that means consciously educate the mind to always find the mistakes in that person yeah look how he dresses look how he's sloppy at this look how he's talking look how he's behaving so and just make this project this idea always over and over again towards this person a judgment a judgment before you even go to that person so before that just use it as an experiment and then after some time really go to that person even without talking to him or her and just feel what is it what type of feeling do you have when you're standing now next to this person and it is my yes it is my belief that you can either choose how you judge the the the people you can continuously precondition your mind that your feelings are going to follow in this direction or you precondition your mind in general towards people around you towards this world in a completely different way as well in an empowering way a positive way a way that supports you in building a relationship or a connection right for example so what i'm saying is the way how you feel meeting people getting into a situation and then saying see I told you it's gonna be like this no it's like this because you before that decided already it's going to be like this right it's interesting because when I meet people like for today when you were coming here I just said to myself I'm excited to to connect with you I'm excited to learn I'm excited to learn about your lifestyle and your lessons and that excitement when you walked in i was excited and i enforced that belief of thinking that prejudgment of excitement to learn so hopefully you felt that excitement right as opposed to uh who is this guy you know this shaldin master and what does he know and you know i didn't come in with that belief system is that correct yes thank you very much So that's a good example.

13:18So I love this feeling and mindset conversation. Which influences the other? Is it the thinking that influences the feelings or the feelings which reinforce and influence the thinking? i'm sure that this could definitely lead to any type of scientific discussion uh-huh what i'm saying is the easiest way to test for yourself without trying out too much reading too much is just like this next time you go into this situation or you have a feeling coming up inside no matter which one it is just ask yourself where is the root of that feeling right now could it be that the way how you feel right now in regards to that situation what is your relation what did you thought about this type of situation let's say weeks before months before in the past when was the last time you had such a type of situation is it the first time you go into this situation and actually you just heard from your friends, from your parents, from your teacher, this type of situation exists and then you need to be careful of this and that.

14:40So where is that feeling rooted in? And this you can do with many, many things. and what we call in our language or in what we are doing nowadays this idea of why is it called self-mastering? Because it is something you need to discover about yourself. It is not something other people are going to discover about you. It is you take the time and watch yourself. this is the path to go. Sometimes we call it also turn the view inwards. Because you see there's this nice picture as always something goes wrong and then it's always easy to say yes because of you, you and you. It's always easy that one.

15:37The hard part in this world is this one. It's the hard part and it is the one that opens the greatest doors. I'm curious, what have you been looking inward at yourself over the last few months that you've been able to see in a different perspective that is opening up for you personally? Whether as a master teacher or as a human being or a friend or what are you seeing and learning about yourself at this season of life? It's not just in the last month, let's say. I do think that it is a progress. The general idea is that from time to time, it absolutely makes sense to take that conscious decision.

16:31Okay, I have a family, I have friends, I need to take care of them, I need to take care also of my job. So that means you're investing a lot of your lifetime trying to support, trying to build up, trying to establish something, let's say, outside of you. At the same time, what we then have is that teaching of yin and yang. Everybody knows that symbol. What does it mean? Inside and outside, up and down, black and white, hot and cold, success and failure, outside, inside. Belong together. And so besides the time that you spend outwardly oriented, I think it is normal and it's necessary. I think there is no choice to decide from time to time for yourself that you take your personal breakout, your personal timeout.

17:30You can take care, of course, but you also need to take care of yourself in the first place. So reason for that until I come back to the question. you're responsible for your team, you're responsible for your employees, you're responsible for your family, you're responsible for your children. Responsibility. What is it essentially? Is it the way how you behave? Or is the behavior which comes out of a responsible feeling what we're talking about? So that means how can you be responsible for something around you if inside of yourself, your body, in the world of your feelings, you don't know how does responsibility feel?

18:24So that means we're talking about it's a feeling. Just like you love the world. how can you love the world if inside of you you do not carry the feeling of love why is it important to respect your parents to be thankful and grateful towards your parents because if the people that granted you this life right now you are not even grateful for to who else you want to be grateful in this world then interesting and these let's say feelings that I mentioned sometimes we also call them these are qualities of the heart because the heart we know it's like it goes very deep yes because it's related to how you feel so the point is whatever you would like to express into the outside world number one is you need to have it so this is the baseline this is the main idea so if you want to express love to the outside world you must have love within you yes but if you don't if you have anger within you it's going to be hard to express it to your friends your family or the world yes but that's way easier because anger is something people are sure how this anger feels nowadays with the other attributes they're not so easy because anger from its quality it's a quality that naturally starts to separate things actions out of anger thoughts out of anger what is their nature the nature is you are separating stuff you're protecting yourself is that right yes loving is not the way of separating loving if you carry love inside you always let's say understand you me in a way we come from different mothers we come from different areas but there's still something that's connecting us and so that means even if you have been mean to me acting out of love or acting out of the feeling no matter what still we are connected is different and so this is what I regard as being really important to cultivate first of all before we let's say do two big stuff on the outside world and this is the point where it comes back again to this personal retreat to the time where you watch inside yourself what do you have inside of yourself what is your yeah take off your clothes take off the jewelry take off the tattoos you have on the look into the mirror and then just see who is standing there if you take off everything that let's say artificially came on top of your being take everything away and then what is it that you see in the mirror do you see there is the loving heart inside there is the strength or the willpower inside this body there is the discipline inside this body there is a loyal person standing there is pride inside of this and these are all things how do i put my pride here on the table how do i put my discipline here on the table this is the area now where we talk about these are things they just don't belong to the world of forms nevertheless these are things that make the human being like human so and this is the special part that meanwhile there are just methods where such attributes such virtues can be developed Right.

22:44One of the other things you talked about that I've seen you talk about online about mastering the inner self and the things that hold people back is ill will. And I think, you know, it's like if you look in the mirror and you say, oh, there's anger inside of me, there's judgment inside of me. Is that also associated with ill will? Is it towards yourself, towards others, to the world? What does that mean, ill will? to the mental state. Whatever triggers it is pretty irrelevant. It's sometimes also, just think about it. When we were young and we didn't get what we wanted, we became angry. As a teenager, somebody took something away from you, you got angry.

23:31Nowadays, 21st century, somebody takes something away from you, you're angry. The reasons why this anger came up always different. But the anger is always the same. The anger you feel today is the same anger that you felt when you were in young ages. So that means there might be the feeling that outside circumstances are triggering something inside of you. Yes, it's triggering something, But what eventually comes up is what you have not been able to adjust in the proper way yet. And the same is like ill will. Ill will is a state of the mind. It's not just, it doesn't matter if it's towards yourself, towards another person, towards an animal, towards your colleagues.

24:27It's always the same ill will. it is something inside of you which if you don't pay attention to is going to be a hindrance along your way of walking how do we heal or integrate ill will so that it's no longer inside of us how do we re-evaluate it mend it heal it go beyond it go beyond it i think is the more proper expression because this is now really playing with the words but it's still important because we don't try to get rid of all of these things you don't want to get rid of the body that it's never going to be inside of your body anymore you don't want to get rid of your jealousy when it comes up you don't want to get rid of the joy that you feel you don't want to get rid of your feelings you want to have a very great variety of different feelings that you can tap into the only thing which makes the difference is if you are tapping into this world of feelings consciously or if that world of feelings is just unconsciously imploding inside of you this makes the difference and so to overcome it means to realize it is there yeah but now like sometimes what to do you need to find something a state of your the state of level on which you are coordinating which means you have to stand above you learn to get into a perspective where you are standing above you which means this is not about you at the moment this is not about you stand above it it is about you see okay you you see that person at the moment has an issue how would you as somebody watching at you help him how would you coach guide how would you coach yourself guide yourself to the better version and this is what it only means to sometimes de-identify yourself with this one yes if you are caught inside here i think it becomes difficult There's some neuroscience that talks about that.

27:13We're really good at being a negative or a critical coach to ourselves and putting ourselves down in those situations, as opposed to stepping aside and coaching from a different perspective to ourselves. And there's neuroscience that backs the importance of that as a tool to go beyond it as well. So I think it's really important. And how often do you feel these emotions or feelings of ill will, anger, jealousy, frustration, how often do you feel them and how do you teach or coach yourself beyond them? If I want to, I can tap inside of it right away and my whole day is filled with it. no matter where I watch around on the street, there's no problem at all for me to generate the feeling that ill will starts to dominate.

28:05Really? Yes. At any moment you could go there. Yes. Yeah. It's just then I ask, but then I just ask, this feeling that you are in, does it feel good? No. You know? And then the point is just like I said, it doesn't even feel good to be in it. So if we would say ill will, if at least it would give you something by staying inside that state of the mind, at least then I would understand. But if you watch at it, there is nothing positive, zero. There is no benefit to yourself and there is especially no benefit to the people around you that this ill will is going to cause. That means, what is the first thing that I do when I realize, let's say, I have this feeling.

29:00First of all, I need to know from what does it come? What is it at the moment that triggers it? So I try to identify very quickly what is at the moment the source that is triggering it. What is usually the source for you in a situation that triggers ill will? Is it injustice? Is it someone treating someone poorly? Is it someone with a lot of money that triggers you? Like what's the root trigger? Actually, this is now the question where, for example, I say it's so super helpful if you already have, let's say, some type of concept, some type of teachings, they tell you already where it comes from, very simply.

29:48and this ill will to a hundred percent in all its different variation that it comes in this world mainly from three reasons. Oh, what are these? Either from greed greed of not getting more than you want hate or jealousy of not getting what you want and sometimes it's called, let's say, ignorance or not knowing. Greed, hate, ignorance. And especially ill will easily falls into one of these categories or sometimes a combination of these things. So ill will can be, why does he get it? I deserve it. why you deserve it because you think about yourself you are the more hard-working person in this room so what is that combination in that combination it is like there's unfairness from your subjective view unfairness jealousy no respect towards yourself so which then also can maybe mean a low level of self-esteem self-confidence of self-confidence a lack of it so it's very often like a variety of these attributes i think yeah but ultimately broken down i think that's it greed hate not knowing when does ill will enter your emotions free you personally like what it what is it that you see where you feel it for a moment obviously it sounds like you know how to catch it and go beyond it pretty quickly but when it happens to you what do you struggle with i would say then when it is like a very subjective i have to say yes that because this is the reason why i always catch myself back and why then afterwards is not so bad anymore but subjective unfairness unfairness unfairness in the fairness in the world or is it some like a jealousy unfairness like oh they have something no it's not that about they have something it's about they project something upon you not knowing the full truth Ah, so unfairness towards you.

32:27For example. Gotcha, yeah. Maybe someone's judging you or has an opinion or criticism that they don't have the full story or the wisdom or the, they don't know you. Yes. Right. And so that's, so when that happens, when you feel judged or criticized or there's an unfairness about you personally. They don't know better. How do you not let it ruin your day or stay in the emotions of anger or frustration or unfairness? How do you go beyond it personally? I breathe in deeply. And I breathe out. And this sounds super ridiculous. But if you really ask me how do I cope with such a situation, this is meanwhile what I do.

33:15I am very aware that I have it right now and I combine my breath, meaning something is getting out of me, together with my deep intention and with my deep connection of the mind together with the breath. First of all, they don't know better. If they would have more information available, they would maybe see me differently. and together with that physical aspect this is what what i do this is the first and it's like a valve before you start imploding before something starts to rise too much and the pressure builds up first of all get rid of that steam get rid of that air out and that's why it sounds very ridiculous sometimes to really say just breathe out but it's not about the press only it's about how serious are you living different type of teachings and methods and if you are able to learn to combine the press with an intention work with intention more consciously then I think it's very, very possible to get into an area where breath becomes everything to you.

34:41Yeah, I'm a big believer in breathing, meditation strategies, whatever meditation and breathing strategies work for you. But having some type of breathing practice where you slow down the breath, I feel like benefits all human beings. And there's lots of different strategies and styles of breathing. but I think focusing on the intention and the breathing combined, like you said, is extremely powerful. I'm curious if someone is feeling anger, unfairness, or any emotion around ill will about something that's happened to them and they feel this is unfair and they have this anger and defensiveness.

35:18You talked about the breathing. What is the intention that they can think of during those moments, 60 seconds, 10 minutes, however long it takes to go beyond it? what is the intentional thought while they're in that it's stressful, the heart is pounding I don't like this, I want to break free of this what can they think or say internally along with the breath to help them go beyond this is sometimes what people then refer to as a mantra can be helpful especially in such moments you have something you always tell to yourself continuously repeat and now these can be different things. If you merge together the thought, they don't know better.

36:08Together with the cultivation of a heart quality of compassion inside of you, then I think even this thought together with that heart quality and the breath has a very powerful impact. and this is why initially i said about there are hard qualities hard qualities hard qualities yes so that means this is why it's helpful

36:38to to really from time to time make clear to yourself again so the greatest love you have ever felt in this lifetime how did it feel how does it feel so if somebody would ask you nowadays so when was the moment you really felt love well first of all you can't make it on the go second of all even probably people nowadays are ashamed of even getting into this state of of being while other people are watching around this is why you need to do these practices alone where nobody is watching you and where are you sure you are only with yourself and there what you do you start to travel you travel into the world of your memories and you travel into everything that you are still able to recall in your mind that has happened in the past when somebody hugged you your father your mother your grandfather your first girlfriend your first boyfriend, it doesn't matter.

37:48Recall the situation where you think this was the greatest feeling I have ever felt when I hear about that word love. So then at least in the 21st century you are at least recalling it again and now know maybe how it feels. And after you have this feeling now you ask yourself if something like this is existing and you would have the chance that the people in this world can choose in which state of being would you yourself personally would like to live and what would you wish the others to live in wow i think you will only if you're intelligent will only come up with one answer which is for all of them and this is the reason why out of that loving feeling arises then what we call compassion which means I know how great this feeling is so that's why maybe I know in which direction I would like to guide my life to finally have this feeling let's say more in my life and now you walk around and then you see people that are obviously sad that are obviously having issues day in day out and busy with their mind and you see how they are suffering and because you see it and now have this direct comparison to yourself this is why it becomes so much easier now that you are not going to act anymore out of ill will.

39:37So the ill will is only there because you are not at that level yet where you can stand above it. Easily said. Yeah. Feel the love and the compassion for yourself and others at the same time. It's really hard to do though, right? When you feel like someone is against you, attacking you, hurting you, hurting someone you care about, saying mean things about you, nasty lies about you, judging you. It's hard to have the feeling of love and compassion in those moments because you feel like this is unfair. This is not right. This is not just. Why don't they just stop it? Yes, exactly. In that moment.

40:24that's why if you feel like moments are too overwhelming for you number one is get out of the situation if we get into a big argument right now and you feel like no this is too overwhelming I would now really start get out of the room number one so something very practical yes if something is too overwhelming then we say get distance first of all get distance now this is a nice part for example that our abbot for example in the monastery also teach us he always said you need to be able to adjust room and time you need to be able to learn and adjust space and time sounds very philosophical but space and time means if we are in an argument a big one I want space first of all so that means I have distance to observe that is the space and I want time because time lets me think more clearly if I'm not under pressure if you have someone that you really don't like then vice versa you also know exactly what to do then if he's a friend he or she is a friend you always give room and time yeah if you want to make enemies you steal room and space you don't let them move and you don't give them time to react this is how you treat enemies wow you pressure them you pressure them you lock them in you can find them yeah because this is what it is wow what arises out of that situation if you put people under pressure is something that is overwhelming them and overwhelming means your emotions are not under that's your own control which makes you vulnerable right that is like the the point behind this.

42:42So another thing to just keep in mind no matter what type of emotion it is that we are sometimes feeling is you don't take decisions while you are emotional. Next one. Don't make decisions while you're emotional. And, you know, I understand sometimes people in certain areas, fast-paced areas where, like, time is money. I don't have time to think about. And so meanwhile, we really have this culture where, like, somebody walks in, gives me a question and expects the answer right away. And I'm always asking myself, why can't you just to some questions just say let me think about it I'm going to come back to it tomorrow so that means sometimes there are questions you are being asked by people where you feel it puts you under pressure but maybe think about it why do you want to answer it right away what's the point to give the answer right away especially if it's an important answer I personally would prefer if I would come up to you with a really important question I would even prefer for you to tell me okay that is something I cannot just decide on the spot let me think about it and tomorrow we're going to talk about it again and then also for me I have no problem to say okay let's talk tomorrow and this is also something where nowadays it's A lot of pressure is coming from these types of things.

44:27That unconsciously you just give answers for the sake of giving answers. Whereas it would be better to just wait. Wait on it, yeah. Think about it. Speaking of, you mentioned enemies for a second ago. What is the Shaolin philosophy around enemies when you're not in an actual physical war? when you're not in combat, when you're not fighting for your life, but there is a potential enemy psychologically, business, relationship, whatever, family, friend who's feeling like an enemy. What is the philosophy of the Shaolin way on how to approach an enemy when it's not a physical attack? If we are really not talking about physical attack, then I think it's very easily expressed that we are right now in the field of Buddhist teachings or of Chan or Zen teachings which means it is about the mind.

45:34We are only talking right now about psychological aspects. And every confrontation that you are feeling inside the mind, for me personally what it means is if something is resonating and is still triggering me mentally and therefore also emotionally the only thing it means is that is one of the next areas i need to learn to adjust this is my initial i don't know what else to say that's the lesson it's more adjusting within you, not them. No. The reason why they are there is to show you your weakness. What was your biggest weakness that you had to overcome as you started to grow up studying martial arts, living in the modern world, and then becoming a teacher, a student in the temple?

46:36What was the biggest inner enemy that you faced and overcame or you're still in the practice of overcoming it seriously is still the five hindrances because it is just something common yeah you know so for example one of the next hindrances is laziness yes very easily the lack of energy meaning you have great ideas you have great plans all of this but the spark to put you under fire is just not there why do so many people lack the spark to act to launch to build momentum to be consistent why do so many people lack that energy desire and stay lazy or dull i think it's It's a combination of the way of life people have lived before and the lack of vision, what lies in front of them.

47:39So both of these things. So what I mean by that is, not always it's just like, let's say, the physical appearance of that laziness, of that dullness, of that heaviness. It's apparent. But why is it there? and this has so many different variations now when you look into the past it can really be because of the food that you're eating because the lack of movement that you're having because of your habits whatever type of habits it is that caused you to now end up in that body which is at the moment pretty inefficient to generate fire. I have to say, sometimes in my spare time, I like to build engines.

48:36Really? I build engines. I build race engines. And therefore, me, if I look at it, I really like that similarity. you want that engine to perform well one of the things that then normally needs to be optimized is number one airflow the intake and then also the amount of the air that gets in there the quality of it that's why on the engine we filter it so but now it comes to us what are you breathing in how is it with your lung capacity how much of your lung capacity are you able to really use? How clean are you inside of it? Because what is it eventually that with that oxygen that we are taking in, what is it that you are burning and try to make into energy?