7 Pieces of Popular Life Advice That Keep 99% of People Miserable, & How You Can Avoid Them

29:04Expand your ability to take on more emotions, but not be impatient. Expand your ability to widen your energetic field of taking on more and feel like it's effortless. That's when you've reached newer levels. And that's when your higher self is applauding. Because he and she is like, man, that's exactly what you're meant to do. You're not meant to stay stuck. You're not meant to stay small. You're not meant to stay in place. You're meant to change. You're meant to evolve. You're meant to grow. You're meant to fly into the butterfly you're meant to be. And that means you've got to purge spiritually, purge physically, purge the things that no longer support you in getting to the next level of freedom, abundance, clarity, focus, relationship, health, intimacy, love, all of it.

30:01So I'm speaking to you in this example about having future hindsight, not meaning you're diminishing all the pain that you're going through, but allowing yourself to tap into time travel just a little bit. You know, the great Oscar speech by Matthew McConaughey, he said, my heroes, myself, 10 years in the future. and he's always chasing that person 10 years in the future. So think of yourself 10 years in the future. What is the meaning that this moment, this pain, this trauma will give you 10 years in the future? It doesn't mean it's going to be that much easier, but hopefully it'll be easier to process knowing there's meaning in this moment and it's guiding you for something greater in your life.

30:48So focus on finding personal meaning in the events rather than assuming a predetermined reason. Again, this is number four. Everything happens for a reason. This advice can be dismissive unless you use the full context that we just talked about right there. If this speaks to you, if this resonates with you in any way, again, leave a comment saying yes, number four resonates. And the story resonates about future time travel, future hindsight. And the quote that Robin Sharma gave me was, a bad day for the ego is a great day for the soul. It doesn't mean it's enjoyable. It doesn't mean you like it.

31:33It's not fun. But a bad day for the ego is a great day for the soul. So again, leave a comment if that spoke to you, if that resonates with you, if you've got any value from it. And if you haven't yet, like this video, subscribe to the channel right now and share this video with a friend so they can get the wisdom as well. Spread the message of greatness. Number five, never give up. Never give up. How many times have you heard this? Never give up. Man, I'm going to give you context on this, but that can be harmful. The advice never can give up can be harmful and you need to know when to quit. So here, let me give you some context on this first, because I love the idea of never give up, but you need to know when to quit.

32:22You need to give up because quitting the wrong thing is how you find the right one. Learn to embrace the power of the pivot because life moves in seasons. And when you stop resisting change and start flowing with it, that's when the real growth begins. It's challenging though, isn't it? It's really challenging because we've heard this our whole lives, never give up. And there is a time and a season and a place for that level of thinking. And listen, I grew up an athlete. I heard this every day in practice, every game. and that's good for certain things. If it's a 60 minute thing, don't give up to the very end.

33:11Absolutely. Absolutely. Go all the way to the end. Leave it all in the field. But if you've broken your leg or you have a broken heart and saying, I'm not going to give up. I'm going to keep going in this relationship. Even when your heart's been broken and you've been bruised emotionally and someone's cheating on you over and over and over again, maybe it's time to step aside. Maybe it's time to try something different. If you've broken your leg and you're working out, maybe it's time to pause. Maybe it's time to let it heal. Maybe it's time to not never give up to the very end. It's time to listen to your body.

33:47And again, there's an edge here. There's an edge and a fine line. And you want to get to the edge. You don't want to cross the edge because when you go over the edge, you fall down the cliff and you die. This is metaphorically, obviously, but something bad could happen when you cross over the edge. You might hurt yourself more. You might stay in that relationship years too long. And how many of you, myself included, have stayed in relationships for years longer than you knew when you're supposed to get out? But the old advice, just don't quit. Stay in it. You made a commitment. You've got to go all the way through to the end, no matter what, that doesn't work.

34:28And that athlete mindset of like never gaming up in a relationship where you're just constantly being walked on or being broken hearted over and over again, it's not the right thing. And I'm not saying the other person is bad or you were bad. It's just like, this is situation is not working. I need to create a new situation. I need to separate from this, whatever it might be physically, emotionally, financially, again, continuing to invest in something and say, I'm never going to give up. And then you're bankrupt and you say, well, I'm going to take more money out of debt and I'm going to keep investing this thing because I'm never going to give up on this.

35:01I promised that I was going to go all the way to the end. You're just going to have no money and people are going to not trust in you because you're going to be asking for money from everyone. So the flawed advice is persistence is always a virtue. Persistence is a good thing. Again, I'm not saying don't be persistent, but the reality is, continuing on a detrimental path can waste time and resources, waste a lot of energy from you as well. And here's an example. I'm going to give you an example, a personal example from one of my sisters. And hopefully she doesn't mind me giving this example, but my sister is amazing.

35:39She's trained for, she's ran marathons and done triathlons and half Ironmans, and she was training to do an Ironman. And she did a week-long bike race where it was something like, I don't know, 100 miles a day or 50 miles a day in the heat and extreme heat here in USA. And after a couple of days, she had extreme heat exhaustion and she couldn't ride the next day. And she slept all day in like an AEC, like RV, right? She slept in an RV and she really like hurt her immune system. She really hurt her nervous system and her body was just cached. And on this trip, there's, I don't know, a thousand people that were doing this race.

36:33And two people died on this trip from heat exhaustion. It's very sad. It's very unfortunate. But two people died. and if my sister would have continued on, something bad could have truly happened. Something bad did happen. She realized it. She said, I'm not going to ride the next day. I'm just going to sleep. And she slept all day. Thankfully, there was a doctor there. They got her electrolytes. They got her food. They got her an air conditioning. And a couple of weeks later, she's still experiencing the effects, the residue from that event. and the whole point of it was to train for an Ironman coming up in a few months.

37:14And I said, Kat, don't you think you should pause like this training? Like you don't need to like just finish to the end when two people died. And she said, yeah, I'm done. She goes, I'm done. Like this was a good wake up call for me. And she's like still a little sad because she's been training all year for this. And this is part of her identity, which holds people back because she's been doing this for over a decade, 15 years, doing these marathons and triathlons and all these different events. And she loves it, right? She loves it. But there's a time and a season and a chapter for everything.

37:54And I was like, Kat, don't you think like, let me just do some yoga class. You know, you can still work out hard, but like do it in air conditioning. You know, you have nothing else to prove right now just because you haven't done this Ironman doesn't mean you should push through and commit all the way, even though you said you're going to do it by this day. You know, it doesn't mean you have to finish it right now. And you could always come back to this. You know, you could take six months, a year, two years, let your body heal and recover. And maybe you can do it again. It doesn't mean it's forever if you give up right now.

38:28I think the swimmer, Diana Nyad, I think it is. She swam over a hundred miles across the, I think from the Florida Keys to Cuba. And she tried it three different times. Then she stopped for 30 plus years trying. Then in her sixties, she tried again. And it's amazing. Again, she tried it three times in her twenties, couldn't do it stopped for 30 years then she did it again so maybe it's a pause but you don't have to keep trying and beating yourself to death on things in a relationship or a career or business just because you're like i said i was going to do this and it's got to happen otherwise i'm a failure it's okay to be a failure at times it's okay but doing it and and going all the way to as far as you can go is a huge success.

39:22Accomplishing some milestone doesn't mean you're a winner. Going after it and knowing when to quit is an amazing accomplishment just as much. And it doesn't mean you're not going to have sadness and a letdown and frustration and a missing, a longing for wanting to accomplish that thing or missing out on that relationship. It doesn't mean there's not going to be a missing. That's why we have the emotional intelligence training. that's why we have this book and the podcast that gives you the tools to navigate those emotions of loss of letdown of ah but i put my mind to this thing for so long and it's not happening it's okay you became someone like my sister became incredible over the last decade by taking on all these challenges and she just found her edge now in the future her edge may expand Maybe she can come back to it in a year, two years, whatever, and her edge has expanded and she could take it on better.

40:22But she's reached the edge. She fell off the edge. Luckily, she hung on to some branches on the way down that saved her from falling all the way to the bottom. And she was able to pick herself back up and not fall completely. And that's what I want you to be thinking about in your life. Where in my life, you know, do I need to pause? recognize when to pivot or to abandon unproductive endeavors. It might just be an end of a season, an end of a chapter, and that doesn't mean something's wrong. It means something greater is coming next. So that's the end of number five. Never give up. That can be harmful advice.

41:03Number six, who fake it till you make it, fake it till you make it. It undermines authenticity. You can't fake becoming the person you're meant to be. You have to become them one choice at a time. Don't fake it till you make it face it so you can become it. And there's a key difference between faking it till you make it and facing it until you become what you want to be. Because the flawed advice is that you should pretend to be confident until you achieve the thing you want. That's like old school. Pretend that you're confident even when you have no skills. Pretend you have all the information even when you're an idiot and you really haven't studied.

41:50Pretend you've prepared when you haven't prepared at all. This can lead to imposter syndrome and it can really hurt your lack of genuine growth. It's not gonna support your growth when you're living in imposter syndrome. Because when you're in imposter syndrome, if you're living in that and you believe, oh, I'm not ready, I haven't prepared, but I'm gonna act ready and confident, you're out of alignment. These things are not lining up. So when you're in alignment with integrity and with your identity of, and I've been putting in the work. I'm coming back to the center. I've been putting in the work.

42:26I'm excited to be here. I know I don't have all the information, but I've been doing my best in preparing to get to where I'm at. Then you can create more alignment of being exactly who you are in this moment. So an example that I give that, and I'm the biggest example of this because I grew up with a lack of confidence, a lack of knowledge, a lack of skills, bottom of my class in school took me seven years to graduate college pretty much everyone i meet in the world is smarter than me that's how i think about it smarter than me not wiser than me but smarter smarter in school knows more about math and history and you know any anything that you learned in traditional school you know probably more than me about every subject because i didn't pay attention.

43:14I didn't study. I struggled all through school and it was like, it hurt my brain. So all that stuff that we learned, I forget it all. But I've had a lot of wisdom through street smarts, through relationships, through sports, through business, through navigating the world, through negotiations, through speaking, through pitching, through all these things. And when you have no friends, like I did growing up, zero friends. I got really good at sitting in the school and watching people. Maybe it looks a little creepy because I'm just kind of like watching classmates walk around the hallways. I'm seeing people observe and connect with each other and seeing how this person responds to this person when they speak.

43:58And I just observed people all day long. When I go to an airport, I sit there and I just watch people. and I see how people think, how they move, how they act, how they respond to situations. I see what's on the TV. Why is someone watching that TV? Why are they glued to that? Psychologically, I tap into people's minds and hearts and try to understand their soul, try to understand why they are the way they are. So I've learned from being unliked, unlovable, and alone most of my childhood to how to navigate the world by understanding human psychology, social cues, what makes people tick, and so on.

44:40Anytime I'm out, I observe, I watch, and I ask questions. And I think when you ask questions, you can create amazing opportunities. So again, when I was starting in the business world, I was in my mid-20s. I got done playing arena football. I got hurt. I was on my sister's couch for a year and a half. And I had to figure out how to make money to get off my sister's couch. It was a big need for me. And I started going to these kind of industry networking events first locally in Columbus, Ohio, where I was living and where I'm from. I would go to these kind of local meetup business events. Then Twitter, social media became a thing back in 2008, 2009.

45:20So I started going to social media related events because I was doing a lot on LinkedIn at that time. and I wanted to just meet people. And then blogging became big. And I was like, okay, let me go to these blogging meetups, these Twitter meetups, these create these LinkedIn events, all these different things. All these, these national events. Let me travel to New York and San Diego and LA and go to these bigger conferences. And at the beginning, I knew nothing. I was an idiot. I was like the dumbest person in every room, right? And I felt that way. So I wasn't going to say, let me just act like I have all the wisdom to them and the knowledge and I'm like the smartest person here.

45:57I'm not. I'm a nobody. I haven't done anything yet. I'm just out of college. I'm figuring out my life. I'm sleeping on my sister's couch. It's not an exciting person to be around. I wasn't like some big New York Times bestselling author with the biggest podcast in the world with all these different followers. I didn't have that. I was a nobody. And I knew it. But I knew I had something to offer still, even though I was in the bottom and I was the least knowledgeable person in every room and had no money. I had nothing to offer in what normal societal terms would think as this is someone you want to be around.

46:35So I went into it with a game plan and I was like, I'm going to lead with my confidence of who I am because I'm a loving, passionate, joyful human being. I'm a giving human being. I'm a friendly a human being. That is something I can bring to the table in any situation. I'm not going to have the answer to stuff. I'm not going to be smart. I'm not going to be able to say witty things. I'm not this funny comedian. I'm not going to make you laugh. I don't have that, but I can ask good questions and I can be engaging and I can listen. And I'll tell you what, that is a massive superpower. It's probably the biggest superpower that anyone can have if you want to build real intimacy and relationships.

47:18So instead of you walking into the room and acting like, I went to this school and I was top of my class, or I have this business or whatever, lead with humility, curiosity, and be a great listener. Because you don't have to be the most knowledgeable to be interesting. Because the most interesting person in any room is the most interested person in other people. And that was a big takeaway for me. For whatever reason, and all these big kind of networking or industry events or trade shows, I somehow found a way to get to the private dinners later in the evenings, to get to the private meetings with all the top speakers and executives and CEOs.

48:01Somehow I would get included and invited. When I grew up alone, having no friends, being laughed at in school, being picked last on sports teams in elementary school, being in the bottom of my class and feeling like a nobody. Somehow in my mid-20s, people were like, hey, come to this dinner after the event. Hey, come meet this CEO. Hey, be here with the lead speaker, the keynote speaker of the whole event that just spoke in front of 10 ,000 people. Somehow I would work into these rooms and I'd be in the room where it happened and I'd connect with people. And when you understand that proximity is power, it was about proximity, not about knowledge that created opportunities for me.

48:48The ability to be able to sit down and have some of the most famous, successful individuals in the world say yes to let me interview them was because of proximity early on. It was not because of skill or knowledge or intelligence or where I went to school, it was because I would literally ask a question, not related to their business, not related to their fame or success, but just a question about their heart, about them as a human being. And by doing that, they were like, wow, those people never asked me that. And then they'd share more. And then I would just listen intently. By doing that, 30 minutes would go by and more people would come up and be listening to the story.

49:31And I'd be sitting there asking more questions. And they were like, dude, this Lewis guy, he's like the most interesting person here. You guys need to meet him. And I would not say anything about my life. I just ask questions and somehow I would be in the room where it happened all the time and get around the right people and just continue to create those relationships. So again, you don't have to be the smartest person. And I want you to embrace vulnerability and seek help to foster real personal growth and development. So don't fake it till you make it because it undermines authenticity. And if I went in there and started acting like I knew stuff that I didn't knew, then people wouldn't feel that I'm authentic because I couldn't back it up.

50:12And I still do this today. You know, what is it? 20 years later. I know 17, 18 years later when I was doing that, when I got into this industry, I'm still doing that today. I still don't go into rooms being like, I have it all figured out and I have the information. I have a lot of knowledge now. You know, after studying some of the brightest minds and 1 ,700 plus episodes on the podcast for 12 and a half years, writing multiple New York Times bestsellers, I've got a lot of wisdom that I've embraced that I can apply to my life, but I still don't have all the answers and I don't go into it thinking I do.

50:48I still go into it asking questions. And I think if you can go into it with where you're at in any environment and situation and truly lead with authenticity and connected to people, good things are gonna happen. The seventh key, seventh and final for this episode. This is a big one, big one. And I hope you're writing all these down. And also let me know which one so far has been the biggest key for you. and the biggest takeaway from this episode, leave a comment below, let me know. Please, if you haven't yet, click the like button on this video right now and subscribe to this channel. We're close to 5 million subscribers here on YouTube and on this channel.

51:29If you're listening, you can go to Apple Podcasts, leave a review or Spotify as well if you want to listen. Because this is number seven, success equals happiness. Have you ever heard this? Success equals happiness. Well, this advice can be misleading. Because if you chase success thinking it will bring happiness, you'll get everything except peace. Poo! Let me say this one more time for the people who are not listening fully. If you chase success thinking it will bring happiness, you'll get everything except peace. success isn't worth it if you're miserable once you get there. And I love this quote from Jim Carey.

52:17He said, I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer. Man, good old Jim Carey. For 12 plus years, I've been wanting Jim Carey to sit here across from me and talk more about his spiritual philosophy, his personal philosophy of life. I just think he's gone through such an incredible career, so many different highs and lows and ups and downs, and he has just learned so much wisdom. And one day, my intention and vision is to have him sitting here across from me, giving some incredible wisdom for you. So if you or you know anyone that is connected to him, feel free to reach out to me, email through the website, lewishouse.com, or you can DM me and let me now and make an introduction to someone on his team because I'd love to have Jim Carrey on this show.

53:09Success isn't the destination. Alignment is. And that's something you need to be thinking about in your life. Am I only seeking success? If you're doing it from a place that is out of alignment, then you'll never be happy when you reach the destination. alignment should be the key the flawed advice here is that achieving success will automatically lead to happiness i'm telling you it won't i have accomplished so many things that i wanted to accomplish because i was really good all my life of setting goals taking the action doing a lot of work and accomplishing the goals and it doesn't mean i'm not grateful and happy that i accomplished those things.

53:56But there are so many times when I accomplished goals that I was almost like miserable and depressed almost minutes after I accomplished them. And some of these things would be like five, 10 year goals that I was just training for, trying to make happen. And then all of a sudden, boom, reach the goal. And, oh, I thought I'm supposed to feel something differently. You've heard this a million times from people. It's not necessarily going to make you feel Listen, you might have a night or a day where you're like celebrating. Great. But then the next day you wake up and you say, why do I still feel sad?

54:32Why do I still feel not good enough? Why do I still feel unlovable? Why do I still feel like I don't have the approval of people in my life? Why do I still haven't reached some level of feeling that I want to feel? Well, the reality is achievement looks good, but fulfillment feels good. And they're not the same. Let me repeat that for you. Achievement looks good. fulfillment feels good. They are not the same. An example for you is a person can achieve career milestones, but feels empty due to neglecting personal relationships, never showing up for their partner, never showing up for their kid, or they've neglected their health and therefore they're obese and they don't feel good in their own body.

55:17So they've worked very hard to accomplish this goal, but they've neglected something else. So I want you to define your personal values and align goals accordingly to find true alignment. And that doesn't mean you're always going to be content and happy, you know, no matter what. But when you're in alignment, God, you can wake up every single day and you can look up in the sky and just say, and I'm blessed to have another day to be alive because I'm in alignment with the flow of what I'm meant to do of this chapter, this season. And I'm in that pursuit. And whether you accomplish the goals or not is kind of irrelevant.

55:57It's more about, am I becoming and being and living in accordance to who I want to be every single day? Not meaning you're going to be perfect. You're going to make mistakes. You're going to hurt yourself. You're going to hurt other people. Like these things are going to happen. And you get to take responsibility for these things as well and amend relationships and apologize and own responsibility for the things that you do. But it's about, am I living my life in accordance to my values and being in alignment to it the best that I can? We're all human beings. We're going to make mistakes. But am I doing it to the best?

56:33And if so, can I wake up and say, man, I'm grateful to be here. What an opportunity to live another day, to have another shot, to have another experience, to connect, to create, to add value, and to be of service. That's the most important thing. Key number seven is success equals happiness. This can be misleading. These are seven keys that we just provided for you. And this popular life advice keeps a lot of people miserable when they believe in these things. There's context to everything. Sure, these lessons can be valuable with the right context. But I want you to have the other side of them, of the context for each one of these keys.

57:18And make sure that you're living in alignment and accordance with the values you have. And you're living on purpose. And your purpose may shift from season to season, relationship to relationship. Things are going to change. And that's normal. It's okay. And it's also okay to feel lost, to feel sadness when things happen. I hope these seven keys have added value to you. Let me know below which key added the most value, which you want to lean into more, which one you need more support with, or any comment or thought that you have. I'm so grateful for you. I hope this has added value for you. My intention is to serve you at the highest level possible with empowering, positive, science-backed content.

58:06We are here to serve. I'm grateful for my team, Team Greatness, who continues to show up and add value for you as well. And I want you to know that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And I cannot wait to see you until the next video. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally, as well as ad-free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts.

58:46Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review. I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward. And I want to remind you if no one has told you lately that you are loved, you are worthy and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.