How To Heal Your Trauma To Manifest Your Most Abundant Life | Melissa Wood-Tepperberg

6 Nov 2024 · 1 h 32 min

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In short

Podcast Summary: How To Heal Your Trauma To Manifest Your Most Abundant Life | Melissa Wood-Tepperberg

Podcast Information

  • Title: The School of Greatness
  • Host: Lewis Howes
  • Guest: Melissa Wood-Tepperberg
  • Description: A transformative conversation exploring Melissa's journey from trauma to healing, her successful wellness empire, and the ongoing process of self-discovery and alignment with one's true self.

Key Themes

  1. Trauma and Healing
  2. Background:
  3. Melissa shares her upbringing in a dysfunctional family which led to struggles with self-hatred, eating disorders, and substance abuse.
  4. She describes a moment of realization during a panic attack that pushed her towards seeking help.
  5. Healing Journey:
  6. Emphasis on the importance of asking for help and recognizing the need for support.
  7. The journey of healing is ongoing, and new challenges can surface even after significant progress.
  1. Self-Discovery Through Mindfulness
  2. Meditation:
  3. Melissa highlights the transformative power of meditation in her life, helping her to reconnect with her true self.
  4. A consistent meditation practice is presented as a tool for developing a deeper relationship with oneself.
  5. Breaking Free from Patterns:
  6. Recognition of old wounds can lead to breaking free from destructive patterns.
  7. Encouragement to trust one's intuition, especially in business decisions.
  1. Aligning Success with Inner Peace
  2. External vs. Internal Success:
  3. Success achieved without inner peace is portrayed as ultimately unfulfilling.
  4. Melissa emphasizes that true fulfillment comes from aligning one's actions with inner values and peace.
  5. Manifestation:
  6. The discussion covers how staying true to oneself and practicing mindfulness can facilitate the manifestation of one's desires and goals.
  1. Community and Service
  2. Role of Community:
  3. Melissa speaks about the importance of community and connection in her journey and her mission to inspire and uplift others.
  4. Giving Back:
  5. The idea that helping others can provide personal fulfillment and is a powerful antidote to one's own sadness.

Key Takeaways

  • Healing is a Lifelong Journey: Acknowledge that healing doesn’t have a final destination; it’s an ongoing process.
  • Connect with Your Inner Child: Addressing and nurturing the needs of your inner child can lead to profound personal growth.
  • Prioritize Inner Peace: Success should be measured not just by external achievements but also by one's internal state of happiness and alignment.
  • Embrace Vulnerability: Sharing one’s story and struggles can create deeper connections and inspire others.

Melissa's Insights

  • Transformation of Trauma into Purpose: Use your experiences to help others in their healing journeys.
  • Intuition in Decisions: Trusting your gut can lead to better decision-making in both personal and professional contexts.
  • Cultivating Joy and Contentment: Find joy in the process and embrace the journey rather than fixating on the outcomes.

Final Thoughts

  • Definition of Greatness: Living a life of contentment and alignment, where waking up feels fulfilling and exciting.
  • Call to Action: Encouragement to listeners to embark on their own healing journeys, emphasizing that every moment is an opportunity to begin anew.

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For more details and resources, visit [Melissa Wood Health](http://melissawoodhealth.com) and follow her on Instagram [@MelissaWoodTepperberg](https://www.instagram.com/melissawoodtepperberg/). Check out the full episode [here](https://www.lewishowes.com/1690).

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Transcript

Automatic transcript. May contain errors.

0:00I remember just like getting up looking in the mirror and being like I hate you. Wow. I had so much hate towards myself. I just had like tears rolling down my face and I was like, I don't want this anymore. Hi, I'm Melissa Wood Tepperberg. Certified yoga and Pilates instructor. I am the founder of the MWH Method. Melissa Wood Tepperberg. Melissa Wood Tepperberg. And I just remember I was like, okay, I want it, but I need help. And that was the biggest moment for me from being a little girl who thought that she could fix every single thing. And like I carried the weight of everyone. And but I was just not saving myself.

0:42I felt all the waves of it. It was definitely a panic attack, I believe, because I think at that time I didn't even really know what anxiety was. But I was like, nope. And like shut the door to it. And that really translated to like going out, drinking. It was numbing yourself. Numbing. I started meditating and that's how I'm here. It was the thing that helped me see myself for the first time for who I really was. Wow. That's beautiful. I just want to wake people up to this inner strength within themselves. That's it. That's what I have to do for myself every single day. And I've actually never talked about this, but.

1:24Welcome back, everyone in the School of Greatness. Very excited about our guests. We have the inspiring Melissa Wood Tepperberg in the house. So good to see you. I'm so happy to be here. Very excited. We connected months ago. Super Bowl? Is that what it was? Super Bowl party? Was it Super Bowl or F1? It was Super Bowl. Super Bowl. Gary Vaynerchuk was hosting a little gathering. We met there. But I'd obviously seen your work online for the last few years. You've continued to just soar with your content, with your message, and how you're inspiring and impacting millions of people. around the world, mostly, assuming mostly women who kind of follow your content and who are really inspired by you.

2:00A lot of the women on my team are just like, oh, Melissa, she's so amazing and what she's doing. And so it's been cool to watch your rise, but I know that, you know, you grew up very dysfunctional, similar to me. You struggled in school and kind of cheated your way through school, similar to me, and just didn't feel like you were enough. And so therefore, you know, Similar to me, you wore masks. You projected a sense of everything's got everything put together and everything's got to look perfect and can't show people the real traumas underneath you. And you wore those masks for a long time to protect yourself, to fit in, to belong, to get ahead, whatever it might be, to survive.

2:42But when did those masks start falling off for you? When did you really start to feel like, oh, I'm in a dark place the longer and longer I hold on to this perfect image when underneath I don't feel perfect at all? Well, interestingly enough, I feel like I'm in this place in my life where I'm like ripping off a new mask. Right now? Right now. Really? Yes. And honestly, like in this very moment, because as you overcome or continue to work through, right, because I don't ever think you fully, completely heal traumas. And that's kind of my biggest awakening today is like even after all the work, it's like, and I love the work.

3:29I love the process. I've learned to be in the process. But I'm just discovering new things and new wounds have come to the surface. And I think when you get to a place of where you are really elevating and you're shifting into a different gear, like it's amazing what kind of shows its face to like knock you down in a sense. And almost like I think about it, it's like how bad do I really want? How bad do I really want to continue this quest of becoming? And I grew up in a very dysfunctional upbringing. I have four sisters. My baby brother was born when I was 15. My dad remarried. But it was just this endless cycle of survival and doing anything that you can to, you know, for me, I'm the middle child of the five.

4:32And I'm assuming it wasn't like survival, like we don't have food and shelter survival, but emotional survival. Emotional survival. And we did grow up very poor. So it was scarcity mindset. And, you know, my mom worked so many jobs. My dad worked so many jobs. And it was like, no matter what, there was never really enough. And money, it was always like a stress around money probably. Always. Always a stress around money. And I was very observant to that. I was so aware of how our surroundings made my mom feel. And I knew since the age of seven that I could help or I could ease some stress. And for me, that was like stepping in the household and cleaning, doing all the chores, helping my sisters with their homework.

5:31Like, even, like, I made this – we had this chalkboard, and I would, like, make a list of all the things that we had to do. My sisters despised me growing up because I was super bossy, and I just felt like someone had to step in. And I just, like, I remember that feeling at such a young age. And I think when you embody that energy, it's so wildly disruptive for your nervous system. And when you're in it, like when I was living in Syracuse, I just like I did all the things that I could to just like push it down. What things? well i was embarrassed that you know we didn't have a lot of money when we would go like when we would get clothes for school it was like we got one outfit and then you know i would be the one curating the look so that my sisters and i could swap looks so that we it looked like we had more money yeah more clothes and the emotional stuff you know when your parents aren't showing up for, like, I remember this, oh my God, so vividly.

6:49I was in second grade and it was like parents' day and the song, Don't Worry, Be Happy was on. Wow. And we were going around in a circle and every kid had their parents. And I just like, I remember being alone and just like not having my parents show up. And I was so embarrassed, but I was so hurt and I wanted to cry, but I wouldn't because I didn't want other people to see. And I always tried to make like, oh yeah, no, no. My mom couldn't come. And I don't even know if my mom remembered, but I remember the teacher holding my hand and like walking around with me and like just trying and those things for me it was like it was constantly those types of things or you know at a softball game and your parents not showing up or forgetting to pick you up and just you know they had a lot of kids and a lot of responsibility but it's when you're a child it deeply affects you isn't it fascinating that you're still remembering that today and it's like Like these memories we keep with us.

8:01And, you know, you're a parent now. I'm not a parent yet, but I can only imagine. Like I'm sure you try to show up to everything you can. You try to be there for them and everything you can. But then there might be some amazing business opportunity where you're like, oh, do I go do this thing? And then have the babysitter or the nanny make sure they take them to school that day. But then is that the thing they're going to remember when they're 40? And like is that their trauma going to be like everyone else's parents were there and mine didn't show up because she had a business meeting or whatever.

8:27It's like you probably can't win as a parent no matter how hard you try. Yes. There's going to be some wound or some memory because at 7, 8, 10 years old, you don't have a lot of life. And that's like such a big moment for your life. It's such a pressure for a parent, I bet. It is. And I think as I've become a parent, I am, oh, my gosh. It like changed my relationship with my parents. And then sometimes that changes again. But it helps you to really understand how freaking hard it is. And have compassion for your parents. And like they didn't have the – they didn't – and even just like I think of the mindfulness movement.

9:13I'm like I don't think those conversations were being had. They didn't have time. In survival mode, you don't have time to be mindful. No. You're just – what do I need to do right now to survive emotionally? Emotionally, you know, and maybe financially or physically or whatever, you're in survival. You don't have the time to say, let me breathe, let my nervous system relax. We don't have that privilege in survival mode. And even if you have financial stability, but your parents are emotionally up and down constantly, you're still going to feel like you're in survival mode emotionally. Is it safe to be in this home?

9:46And that's kind of how I felt. It was like every week there was slamming or screaming or just dis-ease within my parents. You know, I knew that they loved us, but they didn't love each other. Yeah, same. And they tried, but it was just constant friction where you're just like, what's going to happen today when I come home from school? I don't know. Yeah. Oh, I rode the same bus. It's traumatic, right? It's so traumatic. Very traumatic. So, and you mentioned in the beginning about how, you know, healing and inner growth is a lifelong journey. and it sounds like I don't want to assume but it sounds like around 10 years ago when you were starting your business you were kind of in early phases of a healing journey for yourself is that accurate somewhere around there you like started to uncover things and unmask things within yourself and you went down more of a spiritual holistic path right yes I I would say it was a little bit longer than that.

10:45More of like almost like 17, 15 years of that. But you know, moving to New York. So I like moved to, it was like the first time I came here. I was like, oh, I still feel that way every day. Every day. It's amazing. I've been here for 18 years and I still get this like. It's epic. When you walk outside and you're in the streets and just the energy. I love it. It's incredible. It can support or swallow you though. And it sounds like it swallows you the first few years oh my god i was swallowed and then spit back oh oh oh yeah what did you get caught up in in the first few years of being in new york that really messed you up well i moved here i drove a u-haul here with a friend and where'd you move to in the city this teeny tiny little apartment on the upper east side 61st and first but still living the dream You're like, I'm in the city.

11:40Oh, yeah. No, I thought. But at first, like, we didn't have an apartment. I was sleeping on someone's couch. It was like a whole process. I didn't even have a bed. I had a mattress on the floor. It was without a – it was like half the size of this. Living like a 22-year-old, you know? Living the dream. You don't need much. I didn't. And I still, like – I'm just like, how did I do it? So whenever I start to question my ability for anything, I'm like, girl. Yeah. You can do anything. anything. And it is that constant reminder because all the things come in, imposter syndrome and all those limited beliefs.

12:17But when I shut that door after moving away from it all and being with myself, honestly, in a sense of peace and quiet somewhat. In New York City. In New York City, right? But it was just away from all that chaos was the first time I was like, I felt all the waves of it. Like it was like definitely a panic attack, I believe, because I think at that time I didn't even really know what anxiety was. But I was like, nope, and like shut the door to it. And like that was my like running away. That was the start of running away from myself, running away from all the stuff that came up. And that really, translated to going out, drinking, drinking late, and then binge eating.

13:12Numbing yourself, yeah. Numbing. Were you drinking every week or every day? I was definitely drinking a lot on the weekend because I worked at the Chanel counter in Bloomingdale's. So I was working really long hours on my feet. So the nights that I had off, I would go out and I would just rage. each and I was a very different person when I drank my anger really came out oh yeah wow so what your anger would come out wasn't the clubs and you would like scream at people or just be nasty girl or like what would it be like yeah like if someone like pissed me off I would like I've always been a little quick on the tongue a little rougher on the edges You stepped up.

13:55Yeah, yeah. And I was just, it was like all my inner pain would come out. Yeah. And then when all of that started to rise and even like dating guys, like I would get physical sometimes. And that was just, you know, things I saw, I was repeating every pattern. And then it was, you know, when I would feel like it was too much and I couldn't face the pain, that was when I started binging like heavily. Eating. Eating. And then I would, you know, I also wanted to model. So it's like eating your face off and then thinking about, well, they want you to lose 15 pounds. So then I started purging. And this was something I did for a handful of years that no one knew about.

14:43I was really, really good. Really? Yeah. So, I mean. Hiding my pain. Really? So purging, I mean, throwing up, what is, it's not comfortable to do. Oh, my God. You know, it's the worst feeling. You feel better like 10 minutes later. It's like my heart hurts thinking about it. But the only time it is good is when you have an upset stomach. But you didn't have an upset stomach. Maybe you're eating too much, but you weren't like sick in the stomach like, oh, you had some weird food that you're throwing up. So what is that like psychologically when you're like, okay, I just ate too much or I just want to look skinnier and need to lose weight, but I'm numbing myself by eating because I am protecting myself.

15:27I feel ashamed of past or I feel whatever. I'm anxious, so I'm numbing myself by eating. But now I feel shameful and guilty that I ate, so I need to purge it. It's a vicious cycle. Really? Yeah, it's really. And I felt like I deserved it. Deserved what? To feel that pain. Wow, yeah. Because I was like putting myself through that. And then it was like, you need to, it was a lot of like getting rid of the feelings. But I didn't know this at the time. I was just trying to get rid of, you know, what was physically inside of me, but it was so emotionally tied. and through my lowest of lows of going out.

16:14And this is when I was binge drinking and then it was binge eating and then I started experimenting with some drugs. Thank God it was short-lived. And I had my wake-me-up moment of just feeling complete disgust with myself. Yeah, just I was so done. I could no longer continue that path. How old were you now? This was mid-20s. I was like, it was. You were here for a few years. You were in a cycle of just like shame or beat up and binge eating, binge drinking. Yes. Starting to try little drugs here and there and being up till 5, 6 a.m. at nightclubs. Oh, yeah, sun coming up. And it was just. On my knees over the toilet.

17:05it just disgusting. And I mean, I remember, I remember just like getting up, looking in the mirror and being like, I hate you. Like I had so much hate towards myself. And I was just, I just had like tears rolling down my face. And I was like, I don't, I don't want this anymore. I don't want to live like this. I can't live like this because it's going to end badly. I could feel it. And I also knew carrying down that road was like the easy way out because I was so good at taking everything down in my path. But like you didn't know it, but like I was. Like mass destruction was a skill that I could, that I had mastered.

17:46Really? But you were looked good on the outside. People are always surprised by this stuff. And that's honestly why I share it and why I felt I needed to because. But you were good at hiding it though, right? You were good at being like. Very good. Okay, it's noon the next day. I'm put together. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything's fine. I'm happy. Yes. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And then, you know, that moment there is when I so vividly saw like these two roads of life. Mm-hmm. Right? in this like gorgeous tree in the middle. And I just so vividly remember this moment. And it was like, you can keep going here and we know where that's going to end up.

18:34Or you can choose to create this different path for yourself. And it's going to be really hard because it's going to be everything you don't know.

18:48but it can it's like the path of like waking you the up and I just remember I was like okay I'm I I want it but I need help and that was the biggest moment for me because from being a little girl who thought that she could fix every single thing. And like, I carried the weight of everyone and my siblings, and I have always been the savior and coming in and trying to do all the things and, you know, buying my parents the house and like anything that I could do to save everyone, but I was just not saving myself. So it was this moment of like giving over and not relying on my own strength for the first time in my freaking life.

19:45And that was like the doors opened. Wow. I think we need a tissue. There's a tissue right behind Sorry, yeah. Wow. So you're in your mid-20s. You have, I guess, you know, a darkness that continues for months or years until there's a moment where you're like, okay, there's two roads I can take. I've had a few of those moments in my life. So I know that feeling of having to make a decision. Yes. And, you know, I grew up, when I was eight, my brother went to prison. So every weekend for four and a half years, we would go as a family to visit during visiting hours. And I saw my life starting to go down that as well.

20:27When I was 13, I had to make a decision. And I remember saying, do I want to end up in prison? Because if I keep doing these things, which were not massive at the time, but will build. It builds. It'll build. And you're going to keep getting in trouble and bad things are going to happen. Bad things are going to happen. Bad things are going to happen. and do I want to live that life and deal with that pain and shame? And I just saw what that was, you know, and I saw all the other convicts in the, and I got to know them and the traumas and the pain that they caused their families from bad decisions.

21:03And it was just like, do I want that or not? And so you had this in your mid-20s and you knew that you couldn't do it all on your own anymore and you said, I need support. Yes. So what did you allow yourself to do after that? I called my friend and asked for her therapist number. I was like, I need help. I need your therapist. And like, that was like the start, but I lied to him. I mean, I like lied to my therapist. I was taking Adderall, you know, I, I like, I did want help, but it is really hard to break the cycle. Sure. Yeah. And to break the patterns. And I was lying and she would, she was strong.

21:46She was like the mother that I always kind of like needed to anchor me and call me out on me. Tough love. Super tough love. So, you know, I would come in, I'll like Adderall out and I was like buying Adderall. It was just, it was like, I got rid of one thing and I was looking for the next. You said you wanted help, but really inside of you, you're like, eh, I still can do this myself and I'm not going to give everyone the full picture. I think I did really want help. But when you are so used to attaching yourself to chaotic things to keep moving forward, it takes time. Well, it doesn't feel safe to be in a safe space because you're not familiar with I don't even know what that— So harmony doesn't feel safe.

22:34Right. Peace doesn't feel safe. No. Because you're like, wait— What's going to happen? Something's about to happen. Yeah. Where's the chaos? Oh, yeah. You're always looking for it because you're so used to it. It's familiar. So when safe isn't safe and you don't know how to feel calm in harmony, you're always looking to recreate chaos, whether it be in a relationship or whether it be in your own life or addictions or whatever it might be. Oh, and I was very good at if the chaos wasn't there, I will bring it. Isn't that interesting? Oh, my God. And relationships, things with friends, work, like being able to really self-reflect and see where you are just a disaster in disguise.

23:16Like it is hard work. Yeah. And I will be so honest with you today. Like I still to this day wake up and my first thought first from the moment I wake my eyes after doing this work for so many years goes to a dark place. Really? Yes. But I now know how to get myself out. And it's just – I think when it's so embedded in your nervous system, it takes so much time to get yourself out of that place. And I know now. I know when I'm bringing it. I know when I'm being self-destructive. And I'm definitely so far from that part of me, but she's in there, let me tell you. Of course. And I have great access to her if I need her.

24:14But, which is also a good thing, which I've learned to really embrace and love and be like, you are one fiery pistol. God knows if we need it, it's there and the access is quick. But I'm just being honest. Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. you know what is the first thought that comes to you on a daily basis when you wake up or on a typical day where does that dark thought it's like the overwhelm it's just like oh my god oh that you know it's just it's that immediate almost like being on that wheel of anxiety but i step off now and i'm like no no you know and this is where i've cultivated this practice and this connection with source and knowing that I can connect at any moment in any time.

25:05And that is what helps me see like the light of day. And I, you know, I shared this once on, I was doing a Q and A and I shared this and it was like the most viewed thing I had. And I realized that there is still that part of me, right, that wants to like make things look really pretty with a bow. And of course I've cracked myself open, but there's still so much. And I think that is where I'm at right now today, where I'm like, I am so done just like ripping off these masks and really just being so radically transparent with myself, but also with people who are ready to do it for themselves too.

25:55Because it's not just for me. And I think that's where this work has fueled something in me that I've always known was in there since I was a little girl, but it's, it's this choice every single day, like to this day, it's like I'm choosing, I'm choosing to stay devoted to myself. So when you started, you know, kind of waking up from doing destructive things into creating a more healthy lifestyle for yourself 15, 17 years ago, um, and you went down that journey and, and you started these healthy practices, you said, okay, I'm going to reach out for support. I'm going to find a therapist, even though I'm still lying to my therapist.

26:34I'm doing the steps though. And I'm like in the work. And then what else did you start doing to develop a healthy practice for yourself? Were you still nightclubs and, you know, modeling and doing these things that weren't supporting you? Or were you removing yourself as well from environments? so instead of like for me instead of focusing on removing one thing that really helped me when i was in it and still when i feel overwhelmed it's like what can i add in to help like make me feel just an ounce more at ease and when my therapist started really calling me out on things then it was like okay i can't even lie to her like i just i just have to be honest so it was like Like that was – that shtick was old.

27:22I couldn't do that anymore. But then I was finding – I was feeling this like I need to be told. Like I need to be told what to do. So I started seeing a health coach. And I remember the first time I walked in and I was like, okay, give me the diet. Like that – I was in that mindset of like tell me the thing. I'll do it and then I'll see results. And, you know, I was trying to lose weight because I wanted to be a model. And at this point, I had gotten signed by a top agency, but it was like I lost like 15 pounds. And I lost 15 pounds. And then it was just this long road of torture. Really? Because I thought that I was very into fitness and very into wellness, but my relationship to myself was still so disconnected that I was looking outside of myself for all of the resources.

28:18So I was taking what a trainer would tell me to do. You needed to do 45 minutes of cardio and then 45 minutes to an hour of strength training. And I became psychotic with that. So it was like every day, an hour of this. And I was working out two hours a day, writing down every morsel of food. It was so obsessive. It's exhausting. It was exhausting. It was unwellness. Did you feel like you were getting – when you looked in the mirror, were you like, oh, this is working though? Or are we like, I'm still not getting the results I want? So when I was in the height of really just, it was like micromanaging every single thing, I did get really, really thin, but it was unhealthy.

29:03And I just looked, it was painful. You didn't feel healthy. No, I didn't feel healthy. And then plus when you're suffering from needing disorder, the flip can happen too, where then I started gaining a lot of weight. Really? Yeah. I was like – when I was doing all the crazy workouts, HIIT workouts and running myself into the ground, I was actually at my heaviest. Really? Yes, because it was just – The body can't handle it all. Pumping my body with cortisol. I was so stressed out going into workouts, stressed out leaving. And that was like a big moment in my life. I remember so vividly leaving a super popular class with a popular instructor.

29:46And there's no shame because things work differently for people. And I think that this is where we need to cultivate these relationships with ourselves and see what really makes you feel in harmony with yourself. And I just remember I like got off the train, 14th Street, and I was walking. And I was like, I feel horrible. How am I paying to feel worse? What is wrong? And I was just like, I think I'm just, I was just searching. And then I started meditating. I felt this. How old are you now? Roughly? So this was at this point, I, it was like 12 years, 15 years ago. I'm 41. You do the math. 20, 26, 27.

30:40Late 20s. and I've you know I still felt this although I was slowly it was like becoming more self-aware like patching things up as I was going but I felt that I was I was just out here for all the answers tell me and I'll do the thing and I was covered in cystic acne really I had horrifying cystic pimples all over my face my neck down my back and I did everything it was like I saw every dermatologist. I did Accutane. It was just, it was awful. And now I realize like that was my, how I internalized my anxiety for so many years. It was coming out in my skin. It was the stress. It, with a combination of products I was using and food for sure, environment, but it was my nervous system.

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31:30Like trying to wait to like, you know, bang on my door. And I just felt like, you know what? I've got to go in here. Like I've got to like almost – because I think when you are so dysregulated, you don't even know what home and safety is. So there was just this feeling that I felt I needed to take all of that and come in here. Wow. So you started meditating. I started meditating. I've meditated every day since. Wow. And that's how I'm here. And I can tell you that for a fact. I know that with everything inside of me because it was the thing that helped me see myself for the first time for like who I really was and not any persona or facade that I had put on.

32:25And I was really interested in wellness, but because my relationship with myself was still so dysfunctional, it was the thing that helped me look in the mirror and like find so much like deep love, like true love for me and for my skin and loving myself through my acne and not being at my happy weight. And it just helped me. It was like almost like just like defogging the lens and everything got like a little bit brighter. How much on a scale of one to 10 before this, what was your self-love scale? 10 being like you really loved yourself from an authentic, conscious place. One being you hated yourself.

33:14Like where were you on that scale? It's probably like a three, four, the work that I was doing from like a one, two. So like I was, and that doesn't sound like progress, but it is. And I think that's the thing that I. So you really hated yourself before that. I hated myself because of my actions. Yeah. I wasn't proud. You're out of like alignment with yourself. Complete. Completely disaligned. And when you can – you know, I was – it was very much focused on the physical. And then once I realized that I could regulate from bringing some calm to my mind, even just a little bit, wow, then I started moving differently.

34:06And this is when I started understanding like no wonder why. Like, I don't like those classes are not working for me because they make me feel really stressed out and anxious. And they bring out all that stuff that I'm like really working towards shifting. And then I started blending elements of Pilates and yoga. And it was like I was just weaving these things together. But it felt like this like inner dance with myself. But it felt good. Right. And I was not punishing myself for what I ate anymore. and I was just literally in flow. Like it brought me in this flow state. And at this time, I didn't even have 10 ,000 followers on Instagram, but I just felt this like, it was like, I have no idea how, what, where, like what you're going to do, but like you have to share this and you have to share this because you have to come back to that seven-year-old little girl who was looking outside the window when your dad drove away, when my parents separated.

35:10And I felt like this is it. Like this is, unfortunately, like this is the car that I've been dealt and this is my life. And I think so many people who come from broken situations or even bad marriages feel like this is it. And it's not it. And you can change the course of your life at any point. Every moment is an opportunity to begin again, to do something different than you did the day before. That just helps you feel so deeply connected to yourself. And I talk a lot about meditation and movement and that is how I created a platform. But as I'm at this point in my life today, it's from being so connected to whatever it is you connect to.

36:10But to me, it's the creator. It's this higher power so much greater than me. And when I close my eyes and I meditate and I go in and I like bring the energy to my heart, it's what – it's like I feel so surrounded and so safe and just reminded that like I am being divinely guided and we all are when we can get ourselves to just take a moment. And I mean I did it in the morning for 20 minutes this morning. Before speaking, I always like to really, really ground. So 20 minutes is like I love that. However, that doesn't always happen. I am so consistent, but I'm super flexible. You have to be because I was crazy with all the things before and I'm not disciplined.

37:00I don't even love the word. It doesn't work for my nervous system because it makes me feel like I'm rigid and I write things down. I need to track and I need to know how many macros. I'm just like, I don't know and I don't care. But when I'm feeling this, where I'm feeling this aliveness and this excitement for, honestly, like, it's so interesting because I feel like I've been there so much, so many deep challenges with work and just all of the things that come with being an entrepreneur. But I am so excited for no reason. It feels so good just to be like, show me, like, guide me. And through staying so deeply connected is what has just continued me on this path of like cracking me open, had me set up that$24 tripod I got on Amazon, setting up my phone.

37:54I had no lights, no camera, zero editing. I mean, I literally would – I would press play and I'd be like, hi. And I would go and I'd run back on my mat and then I'd be like, okay, today. And I would just like do the thing that I did myself, but I brought people along with me. And then the more that I started doing it, it was like people were like, like, can you do that longer? Like, where can I get this clip? And, you know, it was like Instagram stories when I first came to life. And then I just felt this. I was like, I need a home for these humans who want the same thing. We all want it. We all want to be, you know, when I come back to like my why every day, I just want to wake people up to this inner strength within themselves.

38:43That's it. That's what I have to do for myself every single day. And through sharing it, it was just like, it was crazy. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that I was connecting with people all over the world who were like, thank you so much. And they were writing me these letters and I'm sobbing. And, you know, at this point I'm pregnant with my son and also coming to this place of like I know what it feels like to be brought up in a disconnected home. And like wanting to be so connected to it all, whether it was a little chaotic or completely, you know, a sense of calm. I just – I wanted to be with it.

39:22Yeah. And it's just been this incredible journey of what's next. That's incredible. The thing that I'm hearing you say, which I really love, is that when you started to, it sounds like your seven-year-old self was screaming at you during your adult life when you were doing things out of alignment with what she wanted. Right? When you weren't protecting her, when you weren't showing up for her, she was screaming at you in different ways. she was like you know the acne was coming out you're you know going against your body by binge eating or binge drinking or you know late nights all these different things and she didn't feel safe with you as an adult trying to take care of her because you weren't taking care of her and so she felt unsafe right and when you treat your inner child poorly as an adult bad things happen in your life and or you don't feel good right you know and you're not attracting abundance you're not setting yourself up to be able to manifest your vision you're not bringing the right relationships in your life necessarily and things feel off you feel out of alignment because you're not taking care of the inner being inside of you that needs cared for And what it sounds like, I'm hearing you say, is when you said, okay, these two paths I can take, continued destruction or reconnecting to self and doing better choices, that's when you started to really be present with yourself and take time to listen to the still small voice, which is God, I think, and also your inner child.

41:12Yes. It's almost like the voices of both combining and saying, what does the inner child need and what is God directing me to do? I love, exactly. And when you are able to meditate for a minute or 20 minutes a day or however long you do on a daily basis, you can hear the decisions you need to take today. And you can be guided on what you need to do in the next step. Even though you don't know what's to come or you feel I'm uncertain or what's the future going to bring. when you can listen to yourself and where you're guided, you can take action on what is needed today. And it sounds like you've been doing that for now 10, 15 years.

41:52And by doing so and continuing to be in alignment with your intuition, by serving your inner child and by serving the higher power for yourself, abundance and manifestation becomes easy, easier. And you just said, like, I didn't even have 10 ,000 followers. I just started taking these actions and doing what felt right to me and being consistent for 10, 15 years. And because of that consistent, integrated, authentic actions, it's like, ah, manifesting everything. I'm on the cover of these magazines and this is growing and audiences. And wow, these things are just happening for me, right? But if you were going down destructive paths, this wouldn't be happening.

42:32No, of course not. And that's why I say I know I am here because of my practice. Yes. Because my practice keeps me grounded to myself. It keeps me completely locked in with what matters most to me. And like the thing that matters most to me in my life is having peaceful balance, peaceful harmony. Yes. In my life, in my workplace, in my relationship, with my family, with my friends, with every single thing that I do. And it's so interesting the more that I just kind of like give over because I can be a little bossy.

43:12Definitely bossy. You're like my team when they're watching. They know. No, they know. But I'm not a micromanager. But I am a number eight on the Enneagram. And that has really helped me understand as an active controller. that's why I've remained the CEO no matter what every single person told me that I needed to hire a CEO I just it it never felt 100 I've tried and tested a lot of things that were other people's ideas and let me tell you they don't work I hate to say it yeah and that's where I'm not always right but when something feels completely wrong or I have nothing do nothing do nothing nothing I'm in such a flat place right now and I feel, oh my God.

43:59What do you mean? Like you're not taking on new projects or you're not like launching new stuff or what? I'm just, I am being. And it's wild what happens. It's so interesting because there is this part, like I've tried things. I've had PR. I've done all of these things. And I think when your mission is so big and you want to really spread your message as far and as wide, you try things. And even when it feels against the grain. But I am such a sensitive, energetic person that I've just really learned that I have to listen to that. And when something just feels like even an ounce of force, like, listen, I could have pitched, you know, had Dylan on my team, reach out to everyone on all the pod.

44:52But I'm like, no, that is not the way for me. It's through true, authentic connections. And like, I just know that, right? It's like we met in the way that we were meant to meet. You reached out so fluke. By the way, it was so nice. I was like, oh, this is just like so me, like so organic. and it felt raw. Yeah. And that's when I think the most incredible things come into your life when you're not gripping. Or forcing. Or forcing. Yeah, and trusting the timing of things. Yes. You know, I tell my fiance, Martha. I love her. She's always like, I wish we would have met like 10 years ago. Like we would have had such a lot, like our life would have been so much better and we wouldn't have been through so much pain and relationship breakups and stuff like that.

45:39And I'm like, I wouldn't have looked at you the same way 10 years ago because I wasn't ready for you. I wasn't ready to be in a loving, peaceful relationship. Like I wasn't ready. I would have been like, oh, you're like an attractive, like beautiful girl who's really talented, but you don't have enough wounds for me. You know, it's like you're not a something, you're not a project I need to like help out or something. Right. And I wasn't attracted to that. I wasn't attracted to peace. Oh. So I would have created, you know, I would have hurt you probably, you know, I'd have done something wrong or I'd have been like, you know, whatever.

46:14I just wouldn't have been ready. That's so honest. It's so true. And I needed to go through my own healing journey to feel ready for peace because I didn't have peace inside of me still. And so I needed to be peace before I could have peace in my environment. And she's like, oh, that makes sense. But timing is everything. I agree with that. And, you know, until sometimes we have breakdowns, unfortunately, like you had a big breakdown when you're in your mid-20s, then you were ready for a breakthrough, right? And unfortunately, it wasn't sooner. You know, we all wish it was like we had peace and less pain and sadness and things we did poorly sooner.

46:58But timing is everything when you can trust in a higher power. So do you believe in God? I do. for me it's like it it is this it's a higher power yeah and where was your life when you weren't believing in a higher power versus where you do now i mean it was disconnected yeah there was no anchor and there was no contentment like just like feeling never happy oh my god contentment is such a never never good enough right never good enough no no no no and I I mean I relate so much to your story with Marta who I love by the way she's amazing um with Noah like Noah I feel like he was like a saving grace in my life because he's so calm he's so grounded he's like everything that I just was so unknown for me.

47:57And it was a massive part of me being able to drop into myself and to really go deep and do the work because I felt safe with him. And I felt this safe sense in my life that really, I think when you do have that, and it's very important that while he brought so many elements of that. I was discovering it within myself. I wasn't look, I, oh, by the way, when we first started dating, I was like, he's going to save me. Thank God I need to be saved. I thought he was going to save me. He was going to like, and then he wasn't. Really? Yes. I remember like he would wake up in the morning and he was like so happy and he would like be so excited for his day.

48:40And I would, I hated what I was doing. Wow. And I was just like, how do you feel like that? And like, how do you find your thing? Like I was so, I was like, the grip was so tight and I was just searching. And he was like, just try to, and I have, I still, it's hard for me to focus. Definitely undiagnosed ADHD. I mean, it's just, it's there. But he said, if you can just like pay attention to like the thing that you're interested in. and for me now it's like pay attention to the thing that like lights you up and just give it a little focus focus a little bit on it and i was like okay and i'm like what does he mean like i'm fit modeling and then it was funny because during my like i would be fitting all day and i like worked as a fit model for years but i was like making bank and it was guaranteed cash good money every day it was amazing money and i wasn't like a big model but i was like i don't even care anymore because that was exhausting trying with all these supermodels in the room anyway like at least I'm making money you're in a room and they're like fitting like the jeans and the shirts to you exactly you don't have to like be on for photography to like be in the world stage it's actually not like runway modeling you're just like I get to hang out and the designers are just like fitting to me and yes I'm getting good money I was making great money and I just remember like when things really kind of turned on where you know I would go I would go to my my fittings and maybe the tech designer was like, oh, I'm feeling really tired.

50:14And I'm like, well, what is the first thing? Like, well, how do you go to bed? And what is the first thing you do when you wake up? And then it was like, I was coaching. I started coaching, but I loved it. And then it was like, so when you're unhappy in a situation or if you don't love your job right now, bring a little joy to the job. You got to dig a little deep. And like that when I started doing that, wow. First of all, the lights go on. And I was like, I am so, I love helping people. And it was just like a little thing. I'm like, well, take magnesium, turn the lights down, put your phone away.

50:49And it's like, nothing's changed. I'm still like sharing all of these things. But then I started working. So I went to the Institute for Integrative Nutrition online, the online course. And that for me was like, I didn't even want to do it because I hated school. And I was like, oh, God, you have to take tests. And they're like, it's open book tests. But I'm, you know, and I'm still was like, oh, my God, just the idea of taking a test gives me severe anxiety. But I was like, you know what? I'm going to challenge myself. And I remember Noah saying, let me get it for you. Let me pay for the course.

51:21And I said, no, thank you. But I have to do it for myself. If I let you pay, I'm just going to be like, oh, whatever. I knew that. So I was like, I have to earn this. You need to invest in it. I needed to invest. So doing that and then I started coaching people for free. I would meet them in coffee shops and then I pitched myself to this integrative doctor. He'd never worked with health coaches before. He hired me. I was the first health coach he ever hired. Dr. Morrison, big shout out to you. Thanks for believing in me. And now they have health coaches in their practice. But it was like listening to that, like the focus for me really helped me understand that like, okay, I couldn't leave my job because I was making great money.

52:10But on the evening, maybe like a couple evenings a week, I put – dedicated a little time and then the evenings became weekends and then the weekend became – and then I had people who wanted to pay me. And then I was like getting all these offers and that was really it. Like that was when I was like, I think I can literally do this. Live off this. And I started coaching full time and I loved it. But I knew there was something missing. And I'm in that place right now. And it's so fun. What was missing? I felt like I loved talking through. But when I started blending movement, I became alive. Yes.

52:48And that was how I started teaching digitally. And I never, I'm not a trainer. I never started teaching in studio. I started teaching online. And then, you know, I feel like even after all of these years of doing this and I love what I do, I am so grateful and so proud of myself that I'm like, you did it and you're still doing it and you're going to keep doing it because the unfolding is what I've learned to really just get excited about, right? And I love speaking and I love being able to spread this, but also to help people apply their lives and their mess and their stuff to like to really get them there.

53:32To like hold, you know, it's like handholding and guiding along the way that I feel like is something that I love to do. But there's something that happens when I'm on stage or speaking where I feel I feel at home. Wow, that's beautiful. Something you said, you know, it's really interesting because there's a lot of people that are struggling or suffering or in depression or anxiety. And what I've learned over the years is that the fastest way to end your own sadness and suffering is to be in service to someone else. And like you said, you were maybe a little down or whatever, and you started coaching people just like for fun for 10, 20 minutes.

54:08And it just made you feel alive. When you're in service to someone else, helping provide value to someone else, it's the greatest gift you can give yourself to. It's almost selfish because of how good you can feel to help another person. That's how I feel with the work that I do. Like I'm just like. You're amplifying it too. Yeah. So it's like you're helping millions and you're like, man, what a gift. Like this is so beautiful that I get to be of service and use my pain or my sadness for so long. and what I learned on how to get out of it to help other women who are struggling in whatever they're struggling with.

54:40And if people watching and listening just knew that, like, if you're suffering in any way in sadness right now, the fastest way to overcome that is to get out of yourself and start helping someone else. Helping someone with whatever you can help them with. I don't care. Listen to them. If you have no skill, just listen to them and sit with them. If you can provide value in some way, provide value for free, whatever it is, it's going to make you feel better. And the more you do it consistently, it's going to get you out of that sadness and suffering. And it's not going to solve everything, but it's going to help you a lot.

55:10It really does. And I think also like moving your body, like it's wild what movement can do. I think it's just like it brings magic to your life because all the, you know, all those endorphins and your dopamine, the serotonin, and you're just like, and I think that just becomes a magnet. 100%. So bringing, like it's like it opens up the energy. Yeah. If you can meditate on a consistent basis and calm your mind, if you can move your breath and be intentional for a few minutes a day with your breathing, whether that's with movement or not, and then if you can use movement on a daily basis in some intuitive way, you're 90 % of the way there.

55:57That's my medicine. That's it. And if you can start just eating a little bit more intuitively, you know, a little healthier, it's going to solve a lot of problems. Oh, my God. A lot. It does. You're just going to feel better. You're just going to feel better. You're going to be clearer. You're going to be happier, more joyful, more loving, more grateful. And it's not going to solve everything, but it's going to solve a lot. It is. And I think people are waiting to feel motivated. Uh-huh. And if – let me tell you, I'm a super motivated person. I don't always feel motivated to do the things. So when I'm feeling that way, like I lean on my habits.

56:32It's like your habits are the vehicle that are going to inspire and turn on this motivation inside of you. Then you become more motivated to keep it moving. But like if you're sitting around waiting to be motivated or inspired, like we have to know that we're the creators of that. And it's like coming back to the things, unfortunately, that you may not want to do in that moment. Like I don't wake up like skipping to meditate and work out every day. And by the way, I do it for like 30 minutes. But I'm consistent and I'm devoted to myself daily. That's great. And that's where it's like less of this like pounding into the ground.

57:11And it becomes. Beating yourself up and extremism. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. But how do you stay consistent when you've got a, you know, a big business now? You're a mom, a couple of kids. You know, you're married. You've got responsibilities as a wife. You've got extended family. I'm assuming that have stuff coming up all the time. You've got friends, you've got, how do you do it? How can you stay fit, healthy, calm? You know, how do you manage it all? It's even more reason for me to stay consistent. And I know what it feels like to feel bad. And I know what it feels like to live life feeling like that.

57:49And I don't want to. And even on my most down days. And some days, like, I do think you just have to let yourself, like, be in that and to feel all the feels, cry, say, like, really get it out because it's got, you have to release it. But I still do the work. I still come back to it because it has me here. It has me living a life beyond my wildest dreams. And I never thought things were possible. And I now know that anything is possible. I really, truly, with everything inside of me, believe that when you want it and when you – it's not even working hard for it. I think you have to work super consistently.

58:39Yeah. But when you're just willing to feel all the feelings to, you know, it's I always say it's like the days that you don't want to do it, that you need it most that will completely elevate your process. Yes. And it's just like I after all of these years and I still have these and, you know, I have such a deep relationship with my inner self and it's like these internal conversations that I have and I get myself there. and I do, I do. And I just, I want to live this life to the fullest. You said though earlier that like you're in a place that's kind of an interesting place right now. You said, I don't know if you said flat or neutral or.

59:21Yeah. Neutral. What are you uncovering right now? Like in the last decade, you've really uncovered a lot and grown a lot and created a lot. Right. And where are you now? You mentioned earlier also, like you're still doing even deeper unmasking and letting go of past wounds on a deeper level. What does that mean with your business and also with your personal journey inside? So right now I am doing some energy work and it's funny because I feel like since I've been doing this work, I've kind of shifted away from other things. Like I love therapy and I think therapy is a great tool, but this has been something very transformative for me to understand that like we're all energy and I, it's like, I'm just like vibrating energy and I can feel people's energy and it's just something that magnifies my life.

1:00:25So the more that I'm just really paying attention to the energy that I hold around me and it's really hard because i went like this with my business right like i when i really hit that peak growth and then it's like okay like what are we doing keep expanding and building create let's launch this exactly and hire more people and test and trial of these things and it got away from me. It got a little too far away from me. And I was so unhappy. And I've been feeling it for a while, but it's overwhelming. And then, you know, it's so easy to be like, oh, well, this person, you know, didn't do that, make that decision.

1:01:17And I was doing this, listening to other people. And I've actually never talked about this, but a couple of years ago, I brought in some investment just with a small group of people. And it was really like not completely locked in to like my gut, but it was a guided decision that I felt from people who are very intelligent. I was like, you know what? Yeah, of course. And I also have stood behind for so many years like, oh, well, school wasn't my thing and finance isn't my thing. Enough of that. Like it is so easy to hide behind and just think you can just like higher things. And I do believe that you have to really give the majority of your energy to the thing that you're really, really good at.

1:02:20But... I had to really face this feeling of like, why am I so uninspired? I had nothing I was just like it was all it was just like putting on an act and I can do that when was this? it's been going on for a year but it was it was like chipping away at kind of understanding maybe in certain rooms the vibes weren't vibing and I'm just like walking away and I'm like why am I doing this? well yeah and I'm just like why wasn't it vibing? who contributed to the vibes being off. And I had to go under the hood of my business and own that the decisions that were made were my decisions. At the end of the day, you said yes.

1:03:15This is because of things I have chosen to say yes to. Whether I felt it or not, I did it. So owning that is when I was just like, And I pulled up the sleeves and I'm like, and let's get to work because nobody can fix this but me. Wow. And it was just a lot of deep – like for me it starts with intuition and energy, but then it has to be supported by aligned actions. So you feel the thing, you take note, you kind of investigate, and then it's like you have to ask questions. And sometimes there's just certain people that are not meant to be in your orbit and that's okay. because I think when something's not working for you, it's not working for them either.

1:03:59Sure, of course. But you're pulling the plug, you know, or they're pulling the plug, by the way. And it's amazing what was kind of starting to happen and shift. And I had built this beautiful space, this like, you know, I started doing this stuff in my living room. Noah, when, you know, he was like, it's so funny because he's like, you know, you were doing this thing and I was like so happy for you that you were like content doing this thing. But then it's like when he started paying attention, he's like, you're like, you have a real business. It was really cute and funny. And he was always supportive.

1:04:33But he's just like, whoa, like this is crazy. And then I – he literally built a custom desk in our living room. And I had me and two other girls on the team. So, you know, I went from that and then I went to like this WeWork space that was a closet with three desks. And now I've built this beautiful space with a studio in the office. Incredible. But I didn't feel good being there. Really? No. I didn't know why. And I had to uncover and I had to ask hard questions and then I had to face things. But through the process of listening and taking action and other people sometimes taking action, I am in a different space in my life right now where I feel like I've like just cleaned up some cobwebs and made some really hard decisions of also buying my investors back.

1:05:40They're amazing. The most incredible group. And it was nothing to do with them. It was just the simple fact that something was not completely feeling in the flow for me. And I think I put on my own pressure of feeling like I've got to deliver this thing, but also understanding that I think people, you know, make it sound like the North Star should be selling your business. And I just like the more I kind of. Raising money, selling the business. Yeah. I was like, oh, my God. Hiring more and more people. I was just like, I love that. I love what I love this. I don't think that's I don't think that's it.

1:06:28And just being really honest and transparent and has helped me to just really come back to myself. Wow. That's beautiful. Yeah. More is not always more. No, it's not. And I think testing – and by the way, because I think it's so easy to think about all the money and the things. Oh, God, the time. And I wait on that for a bit, to be honest. But then I'm like, thank you. Thank you for showing me, for guiding me, for allowing me to really own this. and to just know that those were my lessons. And I had to do, I had to go all, you know, through all of these things to be at this neutral chapter, which, you know, I like highs when they're high and I even can vibe with a low when it's low because it's just like, I'm used to this.

1:07:24But you're not used to this. No, but I'm, oh my God, it's so beautiful. Yeah. And I'm just like - You don't know what to expect next. Is that what it is or you're not clear yet? I know that I want to do more motivational speaking. I'm a motivational speaker. And just saying that more, I'm like, Melissa, you are a motivational speaker. Stop saying you want to be. You are a motivator. And I just, even that, like exercising that skill in the way that I talk about it and getting myself out there to do more things. And I feel really excited without knowing a damn thing that's about to come. So what does that look like?

1:08:09If you had a vision for your life over the next few years, what does that feeling or experience look like? Honestly, it all comes back to my community because it is, oh my God. I mean, and how this came to be is I did my first like really big class in Brooklyn at the One Hotel years ago. Like a live class in person. Yeah, like an in-person class where I, you know, we did a meditation and I guided a class. But it was the speaking part that I walked away from that experience. And by the way, it was so crazy because I stayed at the One Hotel the night before because I was like, I need to just like get grounded.

1:08:50And sometimes when your kids are clawing, you know, I was just like, give me a moment. This is my first big thing with 300-ish people that I had ever done. And I was in the room and I like thought people were like screaming on the street. But then I looked out the window and I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. I think they're lined up. Wow. And I like I started to panic because I was like, are people going to come? Like, are you sure they RSVP? It was so weird. I started feeling like no one was going to come. I know that feeling. Oh, my God. And then I didn't prepare the damn thing. You'd been preparing for 10 years.

1:09:33You know, you've been doing reps. Yeah. Yeah. And honestly, that is my inner genius that I can drop in. I'm so connected to source. And that just flows through me. I've never like I don't plan a class. I don't plan a meditation. and I didn't plan a talk, but it poured out of me. Wow, that's cool. And I went home and I remember I was like laying in bed. My legs are up the wall as they are every night before bed. And I was talking to Noah and I said, I feel the most like at home. And I just feel that's what happened to me today is what I'm meant to be doing. You felt alive. Yes, I felt so alive.

1:10:14When's the last time you did one of those? So that's where things get interesting, right? Because I've done some, I have done some, but I can really hide behind teaching a class because it's safe and it's known. Versus what? Versus just getting up there and speaking. Oh, so you've been doing more class teaching. Well, like it kind of blends. It's like a motivation, you know, a meditation. And then we move and then we. And by the way, that is beautiful and I love doing it. But I just like every time I'm speaking. Just speaking. Just speaking. Oh, not doing a class. And by the way, people like our members, my members come to me like, sure, I can give I can put you through a killer workout.

1:11:03A workout that you, you know, a lot of people are strong. This is – it's different because it's mostly using your own body weight and just like the blend of that alone combined with the way I kind of, you know, will fuse things together. But people come to me for the – it's like what I give in my energy and feeling motivated, right? Like because that starts to pour through me when I'm teaching and I feel that in my soul. Like that's what they really want. They want all of it, all the things. Right, right. But it's a feeling. It's a feeling. They get a workout anywhere. Yeah, they can work out anywhere, and they do, you know.

1:11:44But they get a feeling and something unique with you that they want more of. Yes, and I'm really stepping into that. So does that – I mean, okay, I'm trying to understand, though. So you like doing classes, but that's not the main thing you want to be doing. I feel like it was – I love teaching digitally. Yes. Like I am, I. Not in-person classes. I mean, I'll do it. I love it occasionally. But like I'm not going to teach every week in a studio or like train clients. Like that is not my soul's work. So what is the vision then for your soul's work? Is it to speak on stage for this next season of life?

1:12:21Yes. And not teaching a workshop or a class, just speaking. So it's a combination of both. Okay. And I'm really. What does the perfect speech look like for you where you feel most alive? It's starting with my keynote. Okay. I'm like really giving like the story and the how I have gotten to this place. But then it's taking that and it is giving the how-to to everyone in the space. Like with a class example or more? No, no, no. Okay. So no class, no workout. A meditation. Definitely a meditation. Maybe we'll get up and we'll do something. Shake it off. But not like laying down on the mat and doing a workout.

1:13:02Okay. So it's not a workout speech. It's not a workout. It's a speech speech. It's a real. Okay. So when's the last time you did one of those? So the last time I did that was I was invited to, where did I speak? I went to Austin and Snapchat had me come for, what is it? Why am I drawing a blank on that? South by Southwest. South by Southwest. Thank you. It was huge for me to have them come. And how was that? It was incredible. It was amazing. But that was like five months ago, six months ago. Thank you. Look at this. I love this. So what are you waiting to do next one? Well, I'm doing one in the beginning.

1:13:44In Q1, we're looking at booking the space right now. I'm actively working towards getting this thing together. but it's, there's nothing standing in the way. It's, it's more now. I know that I've taken a lot of this space to like get myself and I've done a lot of talks in between two. Like I did one last Friday. I'm doing one next week and you know, room of 70 people, a hundred people, I've spoken to 500, 500 plus. So I've been grooming this, but this one I'm putting on. okay this is my event yeah in early and as you know that takes i mean it's a lot of work so we've been chipping away at this for a while but i can very confidently say in 2025 it's happening it's freaking happening like cannot i i really can't wait and when i even like last friday when i spoke to these 70 women, I was like, I am so like, I'm the most me I've ever been.

1:14:56Okay. So you feel the most alive when you're doing this. I do. I can see it in your energy. I know. I completely shifted. I felt it. But you've only done a couple of them this year, it sounds like, right? No, I've done more than a couple. I've done a lot. Yeah. I've done a lot, But they're very much like I'm being invited. But I wanted to use this time to like exercise my skill. I mean, why don't you just do it at your office space like once every week or every two weeks? Like just let women come in and do like a, you know, 100-person event and just get your reps. Yeah. It doesn't have to be a big production.

1:15:38Yeah, no, it doesn't. Where it's like, oh, we have to plan six months in advance to have like a event. But I feel like I really – my energy vibrates. Like I feel very called to – like the space we're looking at is 1 ,000 people. Like I just – I've done the 500s. I've done a little more. But I feel like I'm just – You want to do a bigger thing now. Yeah. And I have been – I mean the thing is with – and I love where you're going with this. Call me on. Yeah. Yeah, I am. No, I like it. Thank you. Because it's also I have to face that. I have in and this is something like I had to ask myself like am I procrastinating this is when I started working this doesn't need to look too perfect yeah and I was like am I and and it it was so clear and this is when I really got to work it's been about four months of this I had so much detangling to do yeah and I it's not an excuse I hear you though but when you're so detangled.

1:16:38It's hard to give your energy to something. You can't. And now as things are all starting to open up, it's like I'm opening up. Sure, sure, sure. Time is everything. It's everything. I was talking with Gabby Bernstein last night. We were talking about you. She's the best. Talking about how she's loved watching your journey and just how you've exploded. But she did something for years, I think. I mean, it was a year where it was like once a month. There was like a beautiful church in New York City that you would just open it. Oh, I used to go. Did you? Yeah. Yeah. So there's got to be something like that where also it doesn't have to be a big production.

1:17:14No, I like that. I want to do this once a month for 300 or 500 or however many people where it's like a 90-minute thing and I'm just going to get my practice reps here in New York for the bigger thing that I'm going to build later. Oh, I really love that. And it's content for the app and it's whatever. You can invite your friends. You can bring other people, whatever it might be. And just whoever shows shows. That's a great idea. If it's 100 people, if it's 1 ,000 people, but I'm going to bring my best once a month. And I get a rep every month, and I'm going to create something for myself, and I'm also going to have content for the whole month.

1:17:46And I'm going to have more videos to show other big events, what I'm doing in front of a crowd. It's just going to activate it. I love that. You know what I mean? I felt a very strong yes when you said that. It doesn't have to be overproduced, but it could be a beautiful church. It could be, I don't know whether Gabby did it, but it always looked, oh, it's pretty beautiful. Yeah. I've been to like one that she did at a church and then I would go to Marianne Williamson, who was also like one of her teachers. She did it weekly. Oh, I went weekly for a long time. So you could do something like that.

1:18:17Yes. It could be once a month to start. I love it. This is great. I like this. No, I'm really liking this. And what I've really been peeling back the layers on is clearly perfection. Can you tell? If I were you, I would say you should give yourself a challenge to make it feel a little scary. And I wouldn't wait until next year. I would say, how do I do this in November or December? It's like, how do I do this before the end of the year where I don't feel fully prepared, where it scares me a little bit because I feel like I want it to be this produced, perfect thing, and just show up and give my heart and soul to my community?

1:18:56I love it. And that's when I'm my best, by the way, when it's less produced, which is what I've gone back to. Just a mic and you on stage. Yeah. And put a little music on and that's it. And you deliver, you know? Thank you for that. So, I mean, the holidays are coming up. It's like perfect time, November, December, to like just put something together and see who shows up. You know, it's scary when you don't know how many people are going to show up. I just had an event a few weeks ago. And I was literally like, I have no idea. it was a 6 ,000 person venue and I go, I don't know if people are going to show up or not.

1:19:29Like we're going to have a thousand people here and it's going to look empty. Right. It was until people are there, you're like, oh, okay, this thing is full, but it's a little scary. It's really scary. And I've been doing it for eight years. Right. You know, it's like, so I don't know, something what I'm hearing you say is like you just being able to show up and hundreds of people coming and you being able to deliver and the joy that brings you like, and the memory that gives you at night afterwards and how you get to talk about it and how you get to relive it, that memory dividend sounds like it's one of the greatest joys you have when you're on stage speaking.

1:20:04And so don't limit yourself on your ability to serve until the perfect timing or the perfect space or the perfect, I have to detangle everything. I get the detangling, but it's like you can keep getting practice reps locally in a smaller venue. Thank you. I needed to hear that. Yeah, and your community wants you, right? You're doing a disservice by not adding a space for them to show up. You're freaking right. They're messaging you saying, we want more of you. And this is the thing you want to do more of. It's not like you're wanting to do something that you don't want to do. It's not like your audience is asking you to do like a mastermind or a coaching program or another course where you're like, I'm just tired of creating more.

1:20:46They're asking you to do something that your heart is telling you you love the most based on what I'm hearing you say. A million percent. thank you I needed this yeah I would set a date in November December okay and say I'm just gonna get a venue that I can just do a two hour talk and that's the thing I'm just like I don't know just like a walk in walk in do the thing that's it no production yes mic and some music I like less production that's been a big thing and you can keep doing the thousand person venue later next year you can set that yeah and create that but this is where your heart and your soul comes alive and where you can serve your community.

1:21:25Thank you. Do Gabby Bernstein and Marion Williamson style. You know, it's like, serve. Thank you. Yeah. I really needed to - I'm going to text you and see next week if you've got a date. Done. No, I feel like as soon as you said it and I think this is where, you know, with my team right now, I feel like I've really just been coming back to the basics of like, what brings me alive? Like, I actually went back to doing my lives on my phone with no, like we have lights in there, but it's like dark and it's not perfect. It's not fancy. Oh my God. It's like, it's when I'm the most me. I mean, even consider going back and just make it look like your living room.

1:22:05You know, maybe you don't want to film in your living room anymore, but make it, set it up like your living room. I do still film in my living room. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. I will never stop doing that. At home? Yes. There you go. Yeah. That's cool. I bring it with me everywhere. Wow, that's amazing. Amazing. Yeah. I would love to see you on a stage in New York, like just a church or a venue, like get what Gabby did. You gave me a gift. Like it could be once a month. It doesn't have to be weekly. And just see how that feels. Okay. And only book it one month ahead. If you don't want to do it next month, I don't have to do it anymore.

1:22:34If it's getting too overwhelming or it doesn't feel right, oh, I'm stopping. Team, get ready. Yeah, yeah. It doesn't come to be some big produce thing. I'm calling right after this. And that's the feeder for like, oh, we're going to do a 1 ,000 or 2 ,000 person venue next year. And this is like you sell tickets to that at your monthly thing. Yeah. I feel like I've been standing in my own way. And honestly, it's so interesting because I think you can be really excited about something and at the same time so scared. Sure. Really stepping in. 100%. And I will admit that. Yeah, of course. Yeah. But this is you're here for a reason today.

1:23:11So. You gave me. It was like an electric like listen and yes. Well, just you talking about it, I'm like, this is what you're most alive is what you're saying, you know, and I'm feeling that. And I'm like, well, why have I only done it a few times this year? You know, it's like, do it once a month, you know. Okay. On your own here in New York. Yeah. This has been beautiful. I've got a couple of final questions for you. Amazing. What I'm hearing you say throughout this entire conversation is that when you give yourself the space and time to start listening to the direction of your life, and am I in the direction that I want to be in or am I not?

1:23:53Based on how I'm feeling, based on my environment, based on the people in my life, am I on the direction, am I on the path? And do I feel good about me? Do I have a good relationship with me? When you've been able to do that consistently, good things happen in your life. When you keep taking consistent, healthy actions on a daily basis, more abundance comes to you. You're manifesting the right things. Organically, things flow to you better, and it feels more effortless. When you're making decisions that are not in alignment with your inner child or with the divine, it's a lot of effort, and things don't flow to you.

1:24:31And there's a lot of destruction and sadness and suffering in your path. And so I want to acknowledge you, Melissa, for the journey you continue to take to be in service to the little girl inside of you, to be there for her. Even when she's maybe screaming at times and you're doing not everything perfect all the time, but you keep realigning with the values you have that she needs. I know you have kids, but the most important child you have is the one with yourself. And so I acknowledge you for being on that journey to being a great mother to yourself as well as your own kids. And being of service, using your soul to be of service to your community.

1:25:11And I acknowledge you for making the actions in your business recently to realign with that, even though that might be scary and worried what people are going to think about me and what I'm going to upset some people and these different things. But, you know, more is not always more. And so I acknowledge you for taking these challenging, courageous steps. And I'm so excited that we're connecting, and I hope to see you continue to be in your power without it being perfect. Oh, yes. I've got two final questions for you, Melissa, before I ask them. How can people listening or watching be of service to you today?

1:25:51Where can we support and follow you and serve you? Thank you. I just – I'm like so full of gratitude. It's such a beautiful thing when you can like really take it in. You can come to melissawoodhealth.com and I have workouts and meditations. I have over a thousand videos and I really truly have something for everyone that was always important to me no matter what stage of life you are in, whether you are pregnant, newly postpartum, have never worked out, have taken years off. And with these workouts and the programs that I've created, I feel very confident that it will guide you to a place of true inner alignment with yourself.

1:26:36And meditations, I have recipes. I really share so much. I try to give it all there. And our Instagram for Melissa Wood Health is at Melissa Wood Health and my personal is at Melissa Wood Tepperberg. Awesome. Okay. Well, make sure to check that out. And if you're in New York, make sure to follow her to see when she's doing her event here in New York at the end of this year, hopefully. No pressure, but only if it fills a line for you. It does. Yeah. Yeah. You lit a fire. I love it. Yeah. I don't want you to feel like I have to do this, but it's like if you feel called the end of this year, It's happening.

1:27:15This is a question I ask everyone towards the end of our conversations. It's called the three truths. So imagine a hypothetical scenario. You get to live as long as you want in this world, but it's your last day on this earth. So imagine you're as old as you want to be. And from this moment of this conversation until that last day, you get to create everything you want in your life. Whether you want to create more or less, whatever it is, you get to develop and create anything. And all your dreams come true. Everything comes true. But for whatever reason in this hypothetical scenario, you have to take all of your work with you, all of your content, the videos, this conversation, anything you create.

1:27:53We don't have access in this world after you're gone, hypothetically. But on the last day, you get to leave behind three truths, three things you know to be true from all your experiences in life, kind of like your three lessons to life. And this is all we have to remember of your content. What would be those three truths for you? Oh, God, this is so good. The three truths for me would be to listen to your gut because it's guiding you in ways and directions beyond anything you ever could have imagined. Open your heart because when you do, it opens the doors to everything in your life.

1:28:51And the third would be to be exactly who you are. And no matter what's going on around you and people are doing things you want to do and they think they're doing it better, the more that you can just come back to you and move through life in the way that you do is where I think the beauty of us really unfolds. That's beautiful. Final question, Melissa, what's your definition of greatness? My definition of greatness is having this contentment and alignment in your life. no matter what it looks like because I think when you peel all of that stuff back, it's this feeling that you wake up with and you just feel so good and excited for it all.

1:30:03Like that to me is just what living a great life is and being a great person and just showing up with this greatness through it all. Awesome. Melissa, thanks for being here. Appreciate it. Thank you so much. Amazing. Anything you wanted to add or anything? Oh my God, I feel like we went there in every way, shape and form. And it's so interesting too, because I feel like I told my story so differently. And I love what you pulled out of me. That's great. That's great. That's beautiful. Thank you. Appreciate it. Thank you. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness.

1:30:40Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally, as well as ad-free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review. I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward. And I want to remind you if no one has told you lately that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter.

1:31:19And now it's time to go out there and do something great.

From the publisher

In this deeply personal and transformative conversation, I sit down with wellness entrepreneur and motivational speaker Melissa Wood-Tepperberg. From growing up in a dysfunctional household to battling eating disorders and addiction in her early twenties, Melissa shares her journey of healing and self-discovery. After hitting rock bottom, she found her path through meditation, mindful movement, and a deep connection to her inner self. Today, she's the founder of Melissa Wood Health, impacting millions through her unique blend of wellness practices and motivational speaking. What makes this conversation special is Melissa's raw honesty about her ongoing journey - from navigating business challenges to continuing to unmask layers of herself while building a global wellness empire. Her story is a powerful reminder that success isn't just about external achievements, but about finding true alignment with yourself.

Get your FREE 7 day trial of Melissa Wood Health!

IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN

  • How to transform past trauma into purpose and help others heal through your own healing journey
  • Why success without inner peace and alignment will never truly fulfill you
  • The power of developing a consistent meditation practice and how it can transform your relationship with yourself
  • How to recognize when you're operating from old wounds and patterns, and steps to break free
  • The importance of trusting your intuition in business decisions, even when it goes against conventional wisdom

For more information go to https://www.lewishowes.com/1690

For more Greatness text PODCAST to +1 (614) 350-3960

More SOG episodes we think you’ll love:

Gabby Bernstein – greatness.lnk.to/1407SCO

Mel Robbins – greatness.lnk.to/1582SC

Liz Gilbert – greatness.lnk.to/1681SC

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