How To Reprogram Your Mind For Abundance & Wealth | Brendon Burchard

29:50And then, you know, at some point, that doesn't feel good, so they pull away. The harder you grab at them to fill your incompleteness, the more they want to pull that part back of themselves. So neediness is never working. Control never works, which we all know, but we still try to do it on people. And then you're trying to get, and you're like, hey, actually, I'm not trying to get any from you, Martha. It's like, oh, okay. That's a powerful reframe. And so I think what you shared is so powerful because it's about relationships and money. but alignment, I want to really hammer that home. It's like, achievement is not your problem.

30:28Alignment is. So many people are busy. They have busy work, but it's not their life's work. And until they move in more of the direction of the path of what is truly aligned, why is it that every spiritual text and everything we know from ancient traditions, why is it always this? Why is it always that? Why is there always a centering? Because it's ancient. We know it as human beings, right? When we're out of alignment, that's where our ego grows. And we're in pain. We're in separation. We're in pain. Like all the, like, so it's, it's just about ever so more for you. And I don't know what the answer is.

31:14And Lewis doesn't know what the answer is, but you have a path and you have a way of being and you have a nature and you got to have those daily acts of courage to scoot yourself towards that because then you have that self-respect at the end of the day and go i scoot myself a little bit all right and a few more days of doing those actions that are good for you in alignment with you it's just a game changer and and as weird as it sounds most of the wealthy people i work with which i never imagined i would i mean imagine all my clients are wealthier than i am all of them So why do they need me?

31:47I ask them this all the time. Don't tell them.

31:56What is the thing that for those who are super achievers that know how to either make money or build a business or accomplish things, what is blocking them from their freedom emotionally if they're able to achieve but unable to align with their higher calling or with their mission if their achievement masters but they haven't figured out peace and freedom what is blocking them from feeling that when they've mastered achievement well first is i would say they've mastered achievement but they don't feel it yet. It's talking to everybody in this room who you've had success already and you still don't feel like a success because we don't teach people how to integrate success.

32:42So you might have a lot of wins, a lot of victories, but if you've never taught yourself how to debrief it, think about it, internalize it, and connect that to your identity and your character, a lot of people, what's blocking is they're still striving to feel what they already achieved. They're still trying so hard to feel good or adequate or worthy. They've done it. The track record shows it, but they don't feel it because they've never allowed it in. Why don't people allow the success in or the accomplishment? Why do they have to go to the next thing right away without celebrating it or saying, oh man, I actually did a good job here and I can take it in?

33:20Because our society is not good at celebrating success. look at how we demonize all the top earners look how we demonize the top people in government culture records like as you know it's like soon as the bigger you get the more that criticism comes out for no reason you know it just comes out and so you're like oh do i want that so they're scared they're scared and they're not taught to celebrate the wins because oh if you celebrate your win that's ego and so so few people i actually i really believe this most people have never genuinely celebrated their life. They have a birthday. They've had 50 of them.

33:58They've never genuinely celebrated and praised and felt an integrated life. God's hope for them, God's breath, God's grace. And if it's not God, they've just never taken that spiritual time. If you never felt life how are you supposed to feel like the achievements matter people have victories but they never felt the victory yeah they're just on to the next battle next battle next battle next battle so you have to teach people first to feel you really have to teach people to feel and so once they we can get that block out okay now you can feel it okay like let's celebrate some of the wins let's recognize it which sounds so corny it just works because what most people want this is my secret.

34:44I was like, how do you get these clients? I go, well, I know one thing is true for all humans. And it is the ultimate purpose we're all here for, at least I believe. And that is if you've been granted life, the purpose is life. Another word is aliveness. What everybody wants is more aliveness. What they're usually chasing in the next thing is more aliveness. The bigger risk, the bigger deal, the bigger adventure, the bigger novelty, the bigger complexity, the bigger bank, the bigger, it's like the chase makes them feel alive. And so the chase is important. So we just got to make sure they're chasing the right thing, right?

35:22We are goal-driven species. We have this drive to achieve and build and create and expand. So you have to honor that. We just, and I want you to feel, I want that, we call it meaningful pursuits. We want you to have a meaningful pursuit that brings you alive. And sometimes it takes a while to figure that out. And the block is they're busy in the wrong chase. They're in the wrong hunt. They're literally playing a game that isn't even what matters to them. They just got taught that. Or the kids who went to that college they went to that was fancy did that. Or those guys on Wall Street would do that.

35:56Or this guy I'm neighbors with who has this thing. And now they're playing games that are stupid that don't bring meaning or aliveness. And if you don't have meaning and aliveness, the worst thing is you start making even worse choices. Because now you resent other people. So now you've got to compete with them to beat them in games that don't matter. Does anyone hear what I'm talking about? It's like this is why alignment and finding the feeling, what brings you alive a little bit, what has meaning to you. That's where the wealth is. What brings you alive, what brings you meaning, that's where the wealth is.

36:34What's the test or the assessment that people can take right now that can figure out if they're in alignment with a meaningful pursuit or if they're playing a dumb game? Their career and their purpose and their relationship, whatever it might be. Yeah, it's going to sound so lame. Preparation. if you find yourself preparing for it thinking about it researching it before you go do it you're on the right track i'm from montana uh where you know i grew up hunting and uh i don't hunt anymore and i know i'm in california so hunting is like officially banned by the government um you know but my dad grew my dad grew up in a true like on a true like ranch uh have y 'all seen Yellowstone.

37:21My dad grew up, but it was not fancy like that. He grew up in a place where he had to go four and a half miles to a one-bedroom schoolhouse. So he grew up hunting because that's how they provided food, for real. And so I grew up a little bit like that too because we were broke. And it was a big deal to go hunting. But I use the metaphor just a little bit because people who, if they're on the right hunt, they get up at like 5 a.m. They start putting things together they're checking the gear they're checking the equipment i got a buddy he doesn't hunt but he's a uh he's a like a kite boarder you all know what kiteboarding is yeah okay it's really hard um he's a kiteboard man he loves to get that everything ready with the kiteboarding and get it into the truck and he like he just check the weather and check yeah it's the weirdest funny thing i discovered working with all these amazing people high performers around the world we do this research, they just prepare more.

38:16But the preparation isn't because of fear of failure. It's like they kind of geek on it. It's like they got all the gear for the bike and they got all the weird, they just like, they like to do things, they just, they're doing it because it's an interest. And now because they're preparing the interest, as they're doing the interest and they start to align it, it becomes a passion. And now because they have the passion, they can develop the perseverance, it becomes grit. And you know all that research. Yeah, of course. What if someone doesn't know their value or their worth? How can someone start to understand what their value and worth is?

38:47And what should someone do when someone else doesn't appreciate their value or their worth? If you don't know your value or worth, volunteer. You got to volunteer. That's literally, that would be the shortest, most direct path to finding out that you're value and your worth. We live in a society. We don't volunteer. Now, I lived a decade in this town. I met my wife in this town. The girl who slept in my bills, she stayed with me. Wow. That's cool. That's pretty cool, man. That's pretty cool. We were just at Lewis and Marta's beautiful wedding together, and we had the time of our life. It's a very private part of my life.

39:34My wife doesn't want to be on social media. She doesn't care about that stuff. A lot of people don't know the actual great success of my life isn't the books and the courses and the events and the magazines and stuff. It's like, I have an unbelievable marriage. Yeah. Like an unbelievable marriage. And I bring this up because when we came, when we were here, I was in San Francisco. I lived here from, I think, 2001 to 2008 or 2009-ish. It was a different town, different city. I don't know many of you who lived here a long time. It was different. the indifference that developed in this town with walking by those who are homeless and those who are in need at a mass social level of indifference is terrifying that that can happen and i think it relates to the fact that a lot of people don't have self-worth and the lower your self-worth is the less you're likely to take care of somebody else it's why you need to get good with you so you can be good to others.

40:34And I think that once you volunteer in a few soup kitchens, once you've helped put a few people to bed, once you've been in hospice, once you've been on the front lines, once in some way you have volunteered your actual time, your actual energy, and you see the need in the world, it sparks a humanity in you. And when that light comes on to be a giver. I love that slide you had about generosity. When the light comes on inside, which is your humanity, to be a giver to others, worth isn't the issue anymore. It's like for those, you know, I'm more raised in Christianity, so it's like when you understand that level of generosity and giving of self, you stop worrying about yourself so much.

41:32Like the ego is, you're not so trapped in yourself and your self-concern. And all of a sudden, like, worth becomes a humanity thing, not how do I feel about myself today thing. And everybody's worthwhile. I said, maybe part of our purpose, we've been given a hint, is like, hey, if you're alive, maybe part of the purpose is be alive. But you're also alive with 8 billion other people. 8, 8.5 billion other people. So maybe one of the other hints we were given from the universe is, oh, other people. They're involved in this purpose thing. They're everywhere. So like engage and give. And I promise the more you give and the more generous authentically you are, not as a martyr, but authentically giving and generous, you grow in humanity and that light and that heart and that goodness takes over.

42:19When goodness takes over, when you're good, it's just like you don't have to deal with that. Now, the second part of your question is, what about people who don't recognize your worth? Uh-huh. The people who don't recognize your worth, please know that usually they don't feel good. A lot of people don't feel good. So when they're judging you and not recognizing your value, it's not about you. They're in their feelings. They're in their own world. They're in their own traumas and dramas. They don't even recognize you. It's like you said earlier. They don't see you. They don't even know what you're doing.

42:48They don't even care that you're dancing. They're totally oblivious. They're in their own world. They're in their own world. They're so, like, people are so oblivious, we do not realize how oblivious people are. They really are. And I don't mean that in a negative way. They're not into your space. So first, if they judge it, realize they don't know you. I think second is to realize that your job is to align the humans around you to be as good and caring and thoughtful and compassionate and growth mindset and oriented as you are. It doesn't mean everyone will. It just means sometimes you have to decrease the amount of time with them.

43:29I got all this hate early in my career because I started teaching that there's three kinds of friends and three kinds of people in your life. There's old friends, your high school people and other people, different parts of your life. You never talk to them again. They were just like, they were that chapter in your life. You don't see them again and you're fine with it. And sometimes they reach out to you and they're like, they're trying to come into your new chapter, but they're like, that was that chapter. And sometimes you need to be okay that that was that chapter so you have to say you're you're an old friend now it's less time less experience you know and then you have your maintenance friends the people you see just enough to maintain the friendship right you text them just enough you reach out just enough you you know just just enough it's maintenance it's like they're they're they're it doesn't mean they can't be good friends it just you know and then you have growth friends you expand the itinerary of things you do together.

44:22You want to spend more time and see each other and you're trying new things and growth friends are the best. Your job is to get as many of those as you can. It doesn't mean these other ones don't exist. It just means you have to kind of align it. And if you have somebody who is extremely the worst people to have in your life are people who are discouraging towards you. Not that they're mean to you. There's lots of mean people. But even mean people who are critical or funny I have a lot of friends who are like super British. And I mean, they're just like, they cut you down. They're so smart with the cynicism.

44:56Like, and I'm not a cynical person. So I'm just getting killed by these guys. But it's out of love. It's out of love, I guess. And I'm an easy person to make fun of me. Look at me. But they're like, but they're so cynical and funny. And I wish I could be like that. I can't come back with a quick quip at them. So they just like demolish me. but they're encouraging of my dreams and so if somebody's discouraging you of you growing and whatever that way is they're controlling you speaking down to you shutting you down your job is to decrease your time towards them in whatever way it can sometimes that means a separation relationship sometimes means a divorce that's extreme other times it's like you know what i'm not going to go to have brunch with this person every other sunday she's bumming me out and you just got to find out.

45:46If someone's bumming you out, you need to be assertive in that situation and let them know, hey, you're kind of bumming me out. Actually, I need some encouragement and I want us to be good friends. But if you keep bumming me out and speaking to me this way, I don't know that we can be friends. And most people go, I didn't even know I was doing that. I'm sorry. Or if they double down and then they're a real jerk when you assert the conversation, you were just given the gift of the evidence you've been waiting for. Yeah. Wow. and we're also scared to like call out a family member or to limit time with a family member because we feel like it's like this awful you know injustice but not everybody is meant to be on your path and more importantly you're not meant to be everyone else's educators so you got to let have them have their life too you really got to like let them like i i also people don't like with this phrase, but it's like, you're not in charge of everybody else's train wreck.

46:43Wow. And you don't have to rescue and fix everyone. You don't have to rescue and fix everyone. And a lot of reasons people stay with people who are actually hurtful towards them is they're trying to save that person. They're trying to be the educator of that person. They're taking responsibility of that person. So they're staying with that person who's actually hurting them. And the issue is to let go of the responsibility and then you'll find your freedom.

47:17In your book, High Performance Habits, you have a quote that says, gratitude is the golden frame through which we see the meaning of life. I feel like that's a lot of what you've been talking about, being generous, being grateful. It's something that I was talking about throughout the evening as well. when you feel like something is off internally or externally in your life, where you're not feeling peaceful or joyful, maybe the bring the joy isn't working and your inner critic is like, shut up about the joy. I'm going through a really hard time emotionally or externally. How do you set yourself free in creating that inner abundance and external abundance when things aren't going well for you?

48:01I actually had to teach myself an acronym for that. BMF. Breath. Movement. Food. Like almost every time my brain takes over, I'm like, okay, I need to change my breathing pattern. I need to get up and move. And so every 50 minutes on average throughout the day, I hit the floor. I do a couple vinyasa flows. Then I stand up. I do qigong and 10 deep breaths while opening up the meridians of my body. And then I'll be like, how do I feel now, having breathed and moved and changed my perspective a little bit? And then I'll be like, do I need food? Like, I eat. Some of you all know, I've done 400 two-hour live broadcasts on the Internet.

48:46I've done 104-day seminars where I was the only teacher for 10 hours a day. I've created four pieces of content every day for 15 years and most of it's audio like in the growth day of my app it's a daily audio for 15 minutes it takes a lot of calories to run this mouth like I gotta eat I eat you would not believe how much I eat so sometimes my brain and my body are just not like in positive mindset mode I'm angry I need some food so I breathe I move and then it's like do I need food So be MF. That's my thing. Breath, movement, food, and I'm recalibrated. Wow. A couple final questions for you. This has been beautiful.

49:33I would like you to imagine. I'm not going to call out anyone here, but I'd like you to imagine from all the people in this room that there's one person here who's really going through a tough time in life. And I don't know where that person is, but I'd like you to imagine that someone's going through a really challenging time and they feel like they just haven't gotten that breakthrough or that chance or that opportunity in relationships or their financial opportunity. It just seems like something keeps holding them back. What would you say to that person here who just feels stuck? Stop thinking you're alone.

50:15stop thinking you're alone there's eight billion other people who've gone through the same thing i've had to be with a lot of families because i do volunteer work at hospice and i've had to tell a lot of parents you're not the only one who lost a child to cancer their support groups you're not the only person who struggled with alcoholism you're not the only person who went bankrupt you're not the only person who lost your love you're not the only person. And sometimes the problem with pain is it feels so isolating. And you think you're the only person. And because you're the only person, you don't raise your hand.

50:47Because you think you're in a room alone. So why raise your hand? But you realize that there's a lot of other people who've been through something and getting in a group, talking with them and reaching out is the most important thing. Because if you suffer in silence, it's really hard to see the daylight. If you suffer in silence, you don't raise your hand. And so the most important thing is go, I'm not alone. And I'm a person of faith. I believe in God. And when those times I feel stuck, I just think, I'm like, you know what? I'm like, okay, I'm in this battle right now. And it feels dark and it feels like all the arrows are coming and it feels like I'm going to lose the sucker.

51:28It's like everything feels ruinous. So I start catastrophizing. I'm zapping myself into the ground and then i had this metaphor and i just remember i'm like you know what though this battle is really it just sucks but you know what because i have faith faith means there's a forward position and i believe that in this forward position i got the great commander out there with an army of angels and they're clearing fields in front of me i don't even know how much easier it's going to get until i keep marching i don't even know god's clearing paths. He's opening gates. He's arranging stuff. Seven cities down the line.

52:08I feel like I'm stuck here, but over there there's freedom. He's already clearing the paths. He's already setting it up. I just forgot. I don't see it. But if I believe someone's clearing the paths in front of me, and someone is on the path beside me, or behind me, or around me, I'm empowered again. It doesn't mean I don't feel terrible. It doesn't mean everything's fixed. I just believe things are being set up in front of me that I cannot even determine. You will not know your destiny, but someone's playing those checkers. Someone's moving those pieces. Like, you don't know it, but something's being setting up for you.

52:41And how do we know that? Because you're here. Because you're here.

52:51if this big-hearted athlete athletic beautiful man who's so good and so great has impacted you tonight

53:06then maybe you can accept that there's a serendipitous reason that out of this huge city and surrounding area of two and a half some million people that you're in that chair.

53:19Maybe a lot of chess pieces actually moved in the last six months that put you in this chair. They did in his life. He got married. 22 years ago, down in the marina, there's a Safeway. Now, if you hear a murmur of laughing, it's because they don't call it Safeway in the marina. They call it Dateway. So all my single friends go to Safeway in the marina. Well, there used to be a 24-hour fitness across the street. And one day I went in that 24-hour fitness, scrawnier than I am now. And I was on this machine where you put your legs in it, and then you do this thing for your back. I don't know what they call that thing.

54:05Back extension. Thank you. I'm doing the back extension. 22 years ago and there's this girl on this yoga mat named Denise

54:17who not too many months later would be buying my groceries and believe in me before the first book. So maybe if I had an impact at all in anything I said tonight maybe there was serendipity that brought us here. That was 22 years ago a couple miles away. Wow. So maybe something brought you in this room and if you can actually tap that for a minute then you can go wow all these things lined up that i could be in that room and get some kind of inspiration or some kind of knowledge that lewis gave or brennan gave or maybe you just found because some of you were here and tonight an idea downloaded to you that we didn't even say words didn't even come out it was not explicit something came into your heart or in your mind it just happened to land it on you tonight so you're given something tonight so maybe things were lined up that you could be given that thing tonight and if that could be true isn't it true things are being lined up for you that you could be given to tomorrow and next week and next year maybe you're in the right place in your life and things are gonna be all right beautiful her final question final question and also just final thoughts you'd like to share tonight after the question i'll let you close it out what are you grateful for today and what's your final thoughts without being cheese i'm so grateful for our friendship yeah it's been like good yeah it's like i don't know if i got to tell you this the wedding i want to tell you but you know when you go to someone's wedding you kind of at some point if you get some time he was you were like you hung out with me at the wedding and um you know there's plenty of people there um but what what we got to have a moment right right right before yeah yeah before the ceremony even yeah it was like amazing and um i think sometimes when you go to a wedding it kind of pops in your mind at some point you're like oh we're friends you know what i mean you know what i mean like we've been friends for a decade but like when you're at someone's wedding and you're having these moments before the weddings and it's like oh this is like you know and it just made me grateful and it also gave this amazing trip to me and my wife and so uh it was just I'm grateful for that I'm grateful to be in this beautiful theater my dad you know having served in the U.S.

56:48Marine Corps for 22 years and I get to be here thinking about him and uh I get to be here with you and think about my wife who was I met just a couple miles away. So San Francisco is kind of a coming home a little bit. So it's nice. It's nice to be here. I'm grateful for you, buddy. Thanks, man. And any final thoughts as we close out? Yeah. Final thoughts about this guy and about greatness. Not about me, just, you know. But it is. It is. It is actually because I don't know if you'd be comfortable with me sharing the story, but someone on your team, I'll just say that, you guys might not know this but you know as he got married a couple weeks ago he also you know was planning this tour and a lot of people in our industry they plan a book launch and then a tour and these things are months and months and months of planning and everything and lewis just goes let's let's go and planned a tour along with the book launch in weeks in weeks that his actions drove us here.

57:50So I want to bring something out about the money piece that I didn't get to share earlier, but I think it's so important. Last thoughts about the money piece. Earning more, serving more, building more, aligning more. I'm going to tell you the number one enemy in our current culture about all of this is half-heartedness. You cannot be half-hearted and succeed. You cannot be half-hearted and have a great marriage. You cannot be half-hearted and build a great business. The world does not need another pair of half-hearted parents. The world doesn't need more half-hearted teachers. And everybody is so cool and sly, and they kind of got one foot in because optionality rules the world in our abundant culture.

58:34Like, there's optionality everywhere, so everybody's playing half-ass. And playing half-ass is playing smaller than you are. If you want to move the needle of the world, if you want great relationships, you want great businesses you want a great future it will take conviction and conviction means you need to start putting more of you in and it's easy to do you need to stop blocking so much of yourself putting more of you in isn't scary it's stop protecting yourself so much put yourself out there this could be an empty room how fast he planned it his it's like conviction go do the thing. Align with the thing.

59:12Do not play half-hearted. If you are in the game, be in the game. If you are following the way, follow the way. If you are on the yoga mat, do the yoga. Don't be half-hearted. We have a society that is so half-hearted, so checked out, and so detached, we're all so shocked that everyone is miserable. You cannot live a happy life when you are half-hearted. Put yourself back in the game. Put yourself back in the game with courage, with conviction, with full-heartedness to serve and to build, and then you'll be great. Give it up for Brendan Richard. Thank you.

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