How To Rewire Your Beliefs To Manifest Abundance

0:00My friend, welcome back to the School of Greatness. I'm excited about today because I'm sharing something a little bit different than I've ever shared. I think here in over 12 years of the school of greatness, I'm sharing a live speech that I gave. Now, for those of you who've been on this journey with me for a while, you saw that I had a book come out a couple of months ago called make money easy. And I went on a book tour and maybe some of you were there. We had an amazing time. It was seven cities and like 10 days all around the country. It was, I think maybe two weeks or three weeks after I had just gotten married.

0:34So I've had all these amazing life moments happening at the same time from a wedding, getting married to traveling back to Los Angeles, to launching the book, then going on tour for a few weeks and getting to meet so many people in person was just such a beautiful season of life. and I wanted to share this speech that I gave while I was on tour. And this is from my New York city stop because I realized that it resonated with so many people. A lot of the times on this show, I interview other people and I asked them about their life story and about their lessons and what, what greatness means to them and how they overcame challenges and all these things.

1:15But so many people come up to me and say, Lewis, please share more of your lessons and your stories from your personal life, but also from all the wisdom that you've learned from the last 12 and a half plus years on the School of Greatness. So in this conversation, you're going to hear me sharing some of my most personal stories from this stop in New York City about childhood trauma, the pain of watching my brother go to prison and what that did for us. The invisible story of unworthiness that I carried for so many years and these wounds that shaped my belief about success, money, love, and relationships until I made the conscious choice to start rewriting and rewiring these stories and these beliefs.

1:59And in this conversation, this speech that I shared today, this episode, it's going to show you what's possible when you stop hiding from your past and start healing it. And I'm going to share the unconscious connection between emotional wounds and your financial reality. So if you feel like you're not where you wanna be financially, there's a few different areas right now for people. People feel stuck like they've hit a ceiling of their financial opportunities. They feel like they're only making a certain amount every year. And they also feel like they have a stressful relationship with money.

2:35So there's a couple of challenges that people have. One, they wanna learn how to earn more. and two, they want to learn how to have a better relationship with it. So they want to feel more in harmony with money when they spend it, when they receive it, when they earn it, when they have to pay it for the things they love buying, when they have to pay for the things they don't enjoy, like taxes or interest or insurance or things like this. And how can we really have a different relationship with money? And all these things are tied to our money story and our past wounds. and this is some of the research that I've been doing over the last few years that I just found was fascinating because I always had an interesting relationship with money where early in my life I was afraid of it I was scared of it I didn't know how to make it I didn't know how to receive it all these things but I knew I wanted it and then as I started to learn how to make money I was excited about it it was thrilling and I felt like wow this rush every time I'd make it But I also had some underlying wounds tied to it that made me feel like people were taking advantage of me or that if I wasn't making as much money after a few months, then something was wrong with me.

3:47So I had this negative relationship with it also. And so you could be really good at making money, but also not feel good about yourself. And I wanted to understand why. And I wanted to dive deeper into my journey, studying this with others and really starting to heal because I realized that these triggers were still coming up for me, even in the last couple of years as I was writing this book. And so we're going to talk about this, why healing your past is essential to rewriting your money story, how this trauma can create a false identity and how to break free from and really what I discovered about worthiness after years of chasing success.

4:27So it's going to be an amazing episode. I really hope you enjoy it because this was a fun experience for me to start opening up and sharing on stage for audiences around the country about how to make money easy. So I hope you enjoy it. Let me know your thoughts about this. Make sure to share it with a friend or two and get their feedback, get their insights and ask them what opened up for them. And again, if you haven't left a review yet over on Apple or Spotify, please leave a review. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode. I'm so grateful for you. And let's go ahead and dive in. I'm excited to be here.

5:00I'm grateful for you guys. And I want to share a story with you. I want to share a story with you. And I'm curious if anyone can resonate with this story. When I was a young boy, I'm going to make sure this slides back there. Yeah, when I was a young boy, I had many memories that created wounds within me that kind of shaped my belief, that shaped my story about who I thought I was, where I thought I lacked worthiness, and I had a lot of insecurity and self-doubt growing up. Now this is a photo probably around the time when I was seven or eight years old and by this time I One of my first memories as a child not to get you know not to bring the energy too far down But one of my first childhood memories was being sexually abused by a man that I did not know when I was five years old and it and it Implanted a wound within me that stuck with me for 25 years of my life until I started the School of Greatness and started kind of going down this healing journey and really reflecting, looking at my ego, allowing myself to heal and grow beyond the pains of the past.

6:09And that was one of my first memories. It implanted into me this idea that I'm abusable, that I'm unworthy, that I'm not enough. And I don't know if anyone can relate to that feeling. I'm not talking about the abuse side of things, but just the feeling of feeling unlovable, unworthy, or not enough. I'm not sure if anyone can relate to that ever growing up. They just didn't feel loved or worthy or not enough. Am I the only one putting my hand up? Just making sure. Am I the only one that's ever felt that way? Okay. Checking if you guys are still with me. All right. That happened at five, and around eight, my brother goes to prison for selling drugs to an undercover cop.

6:49And he went to prison for four and a half years. Coming from a small town in Ohio, this didn't really happen in the neighborhood. It was the first person that I ever heard of that went to prison that I knew in the neighborhood, right? It was a very challenging time, as you could imagine, for my parents. My parents felt a lot of shame, a lot of sadness, a lot of loss, a grief. He was sentenced 6 to 25 years, and he was 19 years old. And so it was like this devastation. It was like he was one of the top classical violinists in the world growing up. He was a child prodigy. And then he got into some trouble at Ohio State.

7:25He was like just doing weed or whatever, selling a little weed to friends. And then someone got in an undercover situation and asked him, hey, can you get LSD? So he's like, no, I can't. But they kept pushing. And it happened to be an undercover cop trying to just figure out how to get people, I guess. and it was six to 25 years because it was the war against drugs back in the 90s. I don't know if anyone remembers that and he got out in four and a half years and he's gone on to have a beautiful life since then but the pain and the sadness that was in the energy within our home was evident every single day.

8:02My parents didn't have a lot of money anyways but all the money they did have went to legal fees, went to trying to figure out how to navigate this whole world Every weekend, we would drive to a prison in Ohio and go visit my brother and sit in a room with other inmates and their families. And it was just a lot of sadness, right? So there were these memories that created wounds within me and really kind of started shaping my belief system. Growing up in a small town, if you have a brother that goes to prison, all the parents in the neighborhood wouldn't let their other kids hang out with me by association, right?

8:39So I wasn't allowed to really have any friends. I mean, my parents wanted me to have friends, but no one wanted to hang out with me through association. And so I had a lot of insecurity, a lot of self-doubt around that. And just kind of asking myself, why is this happening? Do I even matter? Am I supposed to be here? Why am I alive? Just kind of all these questions that I had around this time. and there were these kids after school one day that said hey we're starting a club a secret club and in order to be in the club you either have to pay money or answer some questions and at the time I was like I don't have any money so what's the questions they asked me them I didn't know the answers and so I felt insignificant I felt not enough by not being smart enough to answer these questions.

9:30And so I go home to my mom and I say, mom, I want to join this club. I want to have some friends because I didn't have any friends. And, but I need$5 in order to join the club. And she looked at me a little sad because not probably because I didn't have any friends, but sad because she didn't have the money. And so, and she said, okay, let's play a game. I want you to go over to the couch. I want you to open up the cushions. I want you to see if you can find some loose change. We did that for a little bit. We went into her, you know, her sock drawer and tried to find change, loose change everywhere.

10:04And she and I found enough change. It was$5, which was the entry fee to this club. This is pre-Soho house. This is the entry fee, $5. And I get a shoe box that she gives me and it's all the change in there. And I go back to this kid's house with a shoebox, like kind of proud that I got this$5. And I hand it to these two kids and the club was in the basement of the parents' house. So we go to the basement and then they're just kind of playing with their games by themselves for the next hour. And I'm just sitting in the corner by myself. And I remember feeling very like the lowest of low. I'm not smart enough to have friends.

10:44Through association with my brother, you know, going to prison, I'm not allowed to have friends. Paying for friends didn't work because they still didn't hang out with me. So I'm just a complete loser. And what's the point of my life? Right. It's just kind of like what the feeling, the energy that I had as a seven, eight year old, it just felt like hopeless.

11:08And my whole goal essentially is my teen years growing up was like, how do I just fit in? How do I belong? How do I get friends? How do I learn about myself? How do I believe I'm worthy of this? How do I believe I'm worthy of receiving love? All of these things kind of shaped my beliefs. And it drove me to be the person that I was until I was about 30 years old when I realized that wasn't working either. And my goal for you guys today is to really assess what is blocking you from feeling free and feeling abundant in your life. That's my intention and my goal for you today, to figure out what is blocking you from feeling free and abundant in your life.

11:51And for many years, I was driven to receive, to get, to accomplish in order to feel worthy. And no matter how much success I accomplished, I still didn't feel worthy. I still didn't feel lovable. I still didn't feel enough. and I've realized that there are four different ways that you can live life around the idea of money. The first way is to be broke and live with scarcity and this is the bottom of the bottom. No one wants to live like this and let me give an example. When I was 24, I was pursuing my dream of playing professional football, and I went to play arena football. I got injured, and then I had to go live on my sister's couch.

12:41This was in 2000, end of 2007 through 2009. I was living on my sister's couch. And in the beginning of that first kind of year and a half, I was broke financially. I had no money. I had about 24 grand in college debt, living on three credit cards, no money, financially broke and living with scarcity inside of me. So I was emotionally defeated. I was a victim. I was frustrated. I was angry. I was resentful. I was scared. And I was scarce emotionally, spiritually, mentally. And I was living from that place of financial brokenness and also emotional brokenness. And those two things are not a good place to be in.

13:27Then something started to shift. I started to get out of this victim mentality. I said, okay, I've got to figure out something with my life. I started reaching out to mentors. I started learning about things in online marketing. I started reading books. I started developing certain skill sets and overcoming certain fears. One of the fears was learning how to speak on stage. I had no clue how to do it, and I was terrified to get in front of a room of a few people and speak because when I was in school in eighth grade I got tested at a second grade reading level so again I was just in confirmation confirmation that I was not good enough and not smart enough through school and I struggled I was in special education all the way through graduating high school and so that was a fear of mine the humiliation the embarrassment of standing in front of a room and someone not liking me or judging me or laughing at me or whatever.

14:21And I started overcoming that fear by going all in on learning how to do public speaking by going to Toastmasters every single week. All right, clap it up. So you guys know what Toastmasters is. Every single week for a year, I started going to Toastmasters. And I started to develop more belief in myself through the consistency, through the coaching and the accountability process that I had. Another fear was literally reading and writing. Because my senior year in high school, my teacher was like you're failing English halfway through and she goes just to let you know Lewis if you flunk out of English senior year of high school you can't go to college and for me I was just like mind blown that I had to pass in order to go to college that's supposed to be a joke I guess but it didn't land here and she was like no if you get a F in English you have to retake senior year.

15:15And I go, okay, this can't happen. I need to go and pursue my dream and play college football. And she worked with me every day after class to help me do basic vocabulary. So reading and writing was another fear, huge fear of mine, fear of embarrassment. And I found a mentor who was a writer of books and he coached me on how to write more effectively. And I started practicing weekly with blogs and content online. And that practice over that next kind of year gave me more confidence, right? And the third thing, believe it or not, all the Latinos will love this, was I was terrified of salsa dancing.

15:52You laugh, but it's true. Imagine a tall gringo like me, six, four, going into a salsa club, and it's like, ah, what am I doing here? I don't understand the language. I don't understand the music. I don't understand the culture. I don't understand how beautiful these women are. All these things were intimidating to me. and funny enough there was a there was a period of time where I lived above a jazz club because my brother was a jazz musician he's a jazz musician and got me in like a little apartment to live above a jazz club and every week there would be a salsa band that would come and play and I would go downstairs because I'd hear this music and I'd go downstairs and I was just I was mesmerized by what I was watching on the dance floor so every week for three months I would go and just sit in the corner like that creepy guy, just watching all these amazing dancers.

16:44And I would just sit there so intimidated, but the music just like made my heart sing, made me feel alive. And I was just like, man, wouldn't it be amazing if one day I could just do just a little bit of what they're doing? And women would always try to invite me to come out on the dance floor. And I was just like, no, I don't wanna make you look bad. It was like the fear of humiliation was strong for me in so many areas of life. but eventually I went out on the dance floor this one woman just dragged me out there and I was dancing with her just like so intimidated and so worried about being in the middle of this dance floor and I was stepping on her feet and I was bumping into people and I was just like man I am like sweating I was just like this is not good and after like a minute she's like Louis she hits my chin she goes Louis look at me she goes look around no one is looking at you no one cares that you're a tall gringo bumping into people.

17:37Maybe they did for the first 30 seconds, but then they got over it and they went back to dancing and having fun. No one cares. Just enjoy the music, have fun. You don't have to look perfect. And I went through this obsession for the next few years of going salsa dancing three, four, five nights a week and going all in on this fear until the point where now I could go anywhere in the world, any country, where any language is, I can go into a salsa club, I can find the best dancer in a second.

18:20I need a dancer to do that. I need like someone who can actually dance to do that. So I started going around the world and salsa dancing as a challenge to myself, as a way to like say, okay, I need to put myself through this fear over and over again in order to really embrace this level of belief in myself. And so the whole point of this second way of living is I was extremely financially broke still. I still had no money, but man, did I feel rich inside. I felt like I was meeting people, like opportunities were coming to me. I was dancing. I was creating content. I was speaking and building this belief inside of myself.

19:07And it just felt like I am living a rich, abundant life, even though I really don't have any money. I don't know if anyone can relate to that, having no money, but feeling rich inside. Hopefully that's not right now where you're broke, but feeling rich. Hopefully you're doing okay. And then I started to go into the third phase after that. I started to figure out money eventually. It took a few years, but something clicked inside of me after having mentors kind of teach me and coaching me where I was just willing to obsess over it. I was like, I'll do whatever it takes. I finally started making money.

19:41And then in a sense, it was just like, I went all in and obsessed about how can I make more? How can I get off my sister's couch? How can I save more? and it just became an obsession for a couple of years to the point where I had millions of dollars in the bank but I felt emotionally broke and scarce inside because I was afraid to go back to the couch so I was taking greyhound buses around the country when I had a million dollars in the bank I do not I was taking like you know southwest middle seat three connections anywhere I could when I was like, I've got money, but I was afraid to spend it.

20:22And I would just be exhausted. I would stay on a friend's couches for years anywhere I traveled because I didn't want to pay on a hotel room. I had this, you know, I learned how to make money, but I didn't remember how to feel abundant and rich with the money. And so it was almost, almost as bad as being a number one broke with scarcity. And here's why it's almost as bad. And I don't know if anyone here can relate to this. I'm sure a few people will. The idea of having money in the bank, say I have six months of expenses, a year of expenses, a few years of savings, whatever it is, but feeling insecure, feeling like my relationships are broken, feeling like my health is out of whack.

21:03For me, that's not an abundant life, having money, but feeling broke inside. And it almost breaks your mind even more because when you're broke and you have nothing, you think when I have money, I'll feel better. But when I had money, I was like, why are all my relationships failing? Why am I getting in fights? Why am I still angry? Why am I resentful? Why am I holding on to grudges? Like, why am I starting to get sick? All these different things started to show up. And I was like, but I'm making money. I should be happy, right? But I lost that abundance energy because as the scale started to improve in the financial success category, I started to see like the insecurity come inside of me now.

21:48How do I manage this money? How do I navigate this money? Am I really deserving of this money? I can't spend it on myself for comfort. Can I know because what if I go broke again? So I have to make sure I save enough and And if I give it to someone else and if they don't respond in a certain way Then I feel taken advantage of and abused again like I was when I was a child So all these things were coming up in my nervous system that made me confused around money And I was just like I just have to make more and then I'll feel more secure I don't know if anyone can relate to that at all in any area where you had money, but you didn't feel abundant a few people Okay All the broke people were like teach me how to make money.

22:26I don't care You know, I'll take that money instead of being broke all day long Give me that third way, you know, I'll take it But I'm telling you I'm gonna tell you a story right now a few years ago. I was living in an apartment building in in Los Angeles. Before I met Martha, I was living in an apartment building. And here's another thing. I was living in a two-bedroom apartment until I was 40 years old. And I was happy with it. I didn't need a lot of space, but I also wasn't willing to invest in creating a sanctuary for myself to expand emotionally, if that makes sense. So I had a lot of learning.

23:02But I was living in an apartment building four and a half, five years ago. And I was on a road trip, and I came back one day, and there was a white tent in the valet. There was a white tent. And the valet attendant was taking my car and I kind of just made this kind of quick joke, which wasn't a joke after all. And I said, someone didn't jump, did they? And he looked at me and said, yeah, they just happened like 30 minutes ago. And I go, this is the most expensive apartment building, even though it was only a two bedroom, it was an expensive building. And billionaires would live there, famous actors lived there like it was the building to be in LA and I go this doesn't make sense that someone would jump from this building I see these people every day in the common space there's a nice gym there I see people and it's like wealthy individuals and I was like why would someone jump I don't want to assume I understand the whole this whole person's life but the person was worth a half a billion dollars and was a very well-known person in Los Angeles in the entertainment world but it was the day after Father's Day and as I learned more about the situation he didn't have a relationship with his son who was a teenage son he wasn't married and there were other things that came out about his life and again I don't know what he was thinking or how he was feeling but I can only imagine that he wasn't living an abundant life inside and all the money in the world and all the accolades that this person had didn't make him feel worthy of staying alive for whatever reason.

24:40And for me, it's scary and sad to see when you think you have it all, but you have nothing, that's why number three is kind of a scary place to be in. And you see this where people get into addictions and alcohol and drugs when they have a lot of money. It's like trying to escape from not feeling good enough still, so you have more to play with, which can be scary. And the fourth way to live, I think, is what we're all trying to get to, which is how can we create financial independence, financial freedom, whatever that looks like for you, and have a rich, abundant life. And that's what I want us to be exploring, to be unpacking this evening.

25:21And it's what we go through in the book as well, Making Money Easy, about creating that richness of life inside of you so that you can have the health, the relationships, the purpose, the vision, the career, whatever it is you're working on, and feel abundant, feel peaceful, feel whole, feel like you're home. And I left home at 13 because I didn't feel safe in my home. I literally left home and went to a private boarding school, begged my parents to send me away. They did not want to send me away. But I didn't feel safe in the environment with them because they didn't love each other. they yelled at each other a lot silent treatment a lot I was never afraid for my life but it never felt safe emotionally being home and I don't know if any of you can relate to that growing up the feeling of it doesn't feel safe because mom and dad don't feel safe even though I know they loved me they didn't love each other so we didn't have a richness there they did their best with the tools they had.

26:25I'm not, I don't hold a grudge. I love my parents, but I ran away because I didn't feel safe at home. And it took me another 20 years until I started to learn how to be a safe home inside of me. And I know we're in New York, so hopefully it isn't too woo-woo-y to say this stuff because I know, I know Gabby Bernstein comes here and other people come here. So hopefully, you guys can resonate with this a little bit. And it's resonating in some way. But the memories that we have and the meaning we give those memories shape our beliefs. You guys know this. How many of you have listened to the School of Greatness podcast before?

27:09Just show a hand. So you guys know this. I'm not saying anything new. You guys have heard all this before. Just question. How many of you brought How many of you brought a friend who doesn't know who I am, just so I'm aware? Okay, a few people. A lot of hands up. I like it. You guys got good friends. You got good friends. Your wife? Yeah, it's always a guy that's like, I got dragged by my wife. I was in Austin last night, and this guy came up afterwards in the meet and greet area. He's like, gosh, I hated you at first because my wife was just always smiling when she listened to you. And I was like, my bad, man.

27:52I swear to God, I'm just trying to help people. And he was like, but then I hated it because I started liking what you were saying. And I was like, sorry, man. So hopefully whoever's wife brought you out here, hopefully you appreciate it and it's been good for you. But thanks to everyone who brought someone who has no clue who I am. I appreciate you coming out here. And hopefully this isn't too weird for you and you appreciate the person who brought you here. but our memories plus the meaning we give those memories create a belief inside of us so you guys again most of you the people who have listened not the friends who are here but everyone else uh you've heard me say that a lot on the podcast you've heard the guests i've had on talk about that these memories and the meaning shape the beliefs and the beliefs influence our behaviors if i don't believe i'm capable of doing something i'm probably not going to act in accordance of this competence, right?

28:45If I don't have that belief inside of me, I'm probably not going to behave and act and consistently show up to go generate and manifest and create whatever I'm thinking and imagining in my life of the life that I want. And so when I had a lack of belief in myself, my behavior reflected that. And when I had a lack of emotional regulation, my behavior reflected that. and when I was able to learn how to make money from a wounded place it only expanded my frustration my resentment my angers in life because the money revealed more of who I was and really the wounded part of my nervous system who that was and what that was what that was feeling and when I started to heal in that journey I started to remember that I am whole I am abundant I am love.

29:39And the more I receive, the more loved I can be. And the more I can contain that wealth, abundance, birthday song, whatever it is, any generosity, I can receive it and be grateful. I don't have to reject or be against something. And so I want to share with you guys a few examples. There's a few videos and the audio may be a little loud for a second. They may bring it down or adjust it for a second. So be mindful of the audio. There's a few videos. As an athlete, I relate to sports related videos. These are a couple short clips. The first one really quickly is of a video clip of a UFC fighter who loses a fight and it's his interview after he loses.