I Spent Years Hating Myself Until I Started This Practice

30:29So there was just this feeling that I felt I needed to take all of that and come in here. Wow. So you started meditating. I started meditating. I've meditated every day since. Wow. And that's how I'm here. And I can tell you that for a fact. I know that with everything inside of me because it was the thing that helped me see myself for the first time for like who I really was and not any persona or facade that I had put on. And I was really interested in wellness, but because my relationship with myself was still so dysfunctional. it was the thing that helped me look in the mirror and like find so much like deep love like true love for for me and for my skin and loving myself through my acne and not being at my happy weight and it just helped me it was like almost like just like defogging the lens and everything got like a little bit brighter wow how much on a scale of one to ten before this, what was your self-love scale?

31:4410 being like you really loved yourself from an authentic, conscious place. One being you hated yourself. Like where were you on that scale? I was probably like a three for the work that I was doing from like a one, two. So like I was, and that doesn't sound like progress, but it is. And I think that's the thing that I. So you really hated yourself before that? I hated myself because of my actions. Yeah. I wasn't proud. You're out of alignment with yourself. Complete. Completely disaligned. And when you can, you know, I was, it was very much focused on the physical. and then once I realized that I could regulate from bringing some calm to my mind, even just a little bit, wow, then I started moving differently.

32:42And this is when I started understanding like, no wonder why, like I don't like those classes are not working for me because they make me feel really stressed out and anxious. And they bring out all that stuff that I'm like really working towards shifting. And then I started blending elements of Pilates and yoga. And it was like, I was just weaving these things together, but it felt like this like inner dance with myself, but it felt good. And I was not punishing myself for what I ate anymore. And I was just literally in flow. Like it brought me in this flow state. And at this time I didn't even have 10 ,000 followers on Instagram, but I just felt this like it was like, I have no idea how, what, where, like what you're going to do, but like you have to share this and you have to share this because you have to come back to that seven-year-old little girl who was looking outside the window when your dad drove away, when my parents separated.

33:46And I felt like this is it. Like this is, unfortunately, like this is the card that I've been dealt and this is my life. And I think so many people who come from broken situations or even bad marriages feel like this is it. And it's not it. And you can change the course of your life at any point. Every moment is an opportunity to begin again, to do something different. than you did the day before. That just helps you feel so deeply connected to yourself. And you know, I talk a lot about meditation and movement and that is how I created a platform. But as I'm at this point in my life today, it's from being so connected to whatever it is you connect to.

34:46But to me, it's the creator. It's this higher power so much greater than me. And like when I close my eyes and I meditate and I go in and I like bring the energy to my heart, it's like I feel so surrounded and so safe and just reminded that like I am being divinely guided. And we all are when we can get ourselves to just take a moment. And I, I mean, I did it in the, I did it in the morning for 20 minutes this morning before speaking. I always like to really, really ground. So 20 minutes is like, I love that. However, that doesn't always happen. I am so consistent, but I'm super flexible. You have to be because I was crazy with all the things before and I'm not disciplined.

35:36I don't even love the word. It doesn't work for my nervous system because it makes me feel like I'm rigid. I write things down. I need to track and I need to how many macros. I'm like, and I'm just like, I don't know and I don't even care. But when I'm feeling this, where I'm feeling this aliveness and this excitement for honestly, like it's so interesting because I feel like I've been there so much, so many deep challenges with work and just all of the things that come with being an entrepreneur. But I am so excited for no reason. It feels so good just to be like, show me, like guide me. And through staying so deeply connected is what has just continued me on this path of like cracking me open, had me set up that $24 tripod I got on Amazon, setting up my phone.

36:30I had no lights, no camera, zero editing. I mean, I literally would, I would press play and I'd be like, hi. And I would go and run back on my mat. And then I'd be like, okay, today. And I would just like do the thing that I did myself, but I brought people along with me. And then the more that I started doing it, it was like, people were like, like, can you do that longer? Like, where can I get this clip? And, you know, it was like Instagram stories when I first came to life. And then I just felt this. I was like, I need a home for these humans who want the same thing. We all want it. We all want to be, you know, when I come back to like my why every day, I just want to wake people up to this inner strength within themselves.

37:19That's it. That's what I have to do for myself every single day. And through sharing it, it was just like, it was crazy. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that I was connecting with people all over the world who were like, thank you so much. And they were writing me these letters and I'm sobbing. And at this point, I'm pregnant with my son. And also coming to this place of like, I know what it feels like to be brought up in a disconnected home and like wanting to be so connected to it all, whether it was a little chaotic or completely, you know, a sense of calm. I just, I wanted to be with it.

37:58And it's, it's just been this incredible journey of what's next. That's incredible. The thing that I'm hearing you say, which I really love is that when you started to, it sounds like your seven-year-old self was screaming at you during your adult life when you were doing things out of alignment with what she wanted, right? When you weren't protecting her, when you weren't showing up for her, she was screaming at you in different ways. She was like, you know, the acne was coming out. You're, you know, going against your body by binge eating or binge drinking or, you know, late nights, all these different things.

38:41And she didn't feel safe with you as an adult trying to take care of her because you weren't taking care of her. And so she felt unsafe, right? And when you treat your inner child poorly as an adult, bad things happen in your life. Or you don't feel good, right? And you're not attracting abundance. You're not setting yourself up to be able to manifest your vision. You're not bringing the right relationships in your life necessarily. And things feel off. You feel out of alignment because you're not taking care of the inner being inside of you that needs cared for. And what it sounds like I'm hearing you say is when you said, okay, these two paths I can take, continued destruction or, you know, reconnecting to self and doing better choices.

39:36That's when you started and you started to really be present with yourself and take time to listen to the still small voice, which is God, I think, and also your inner child. Yes. It's almost like the voices of both combining and saying, what does the inner child need and what is God directing me to do? I love, exactly. And when you are able to meditate for a minute or 20 minutes a day or however long you do on a daily basis, you can hear the decisions you need to take today. And you can be guided on what you need to do in the next step. Even though you don't know what's to come or you feel I'm uncertain or what's the future going to bring.

40:17When you can listen to yourself and where you're guided, you can take action on what is needed today. And it sounds like you've been doing that for now 10, 15 years. And by doing so and continuing to be in alignment with your intuition, by serving your inner child and by serving the higher power for yourself, abundance and manifestation becomes easy, easier. And you just said, like, I didn't even have 10 ,000 followers. I just started taking these actions and doing what felt right to me and being consistent for 10, 15 years. And because of that consistent, integrated, authentic actions, it's like, ah, manifesting everything.

40:58I'm on the cover of these magazines and this is growing and audiences. And wow, these things are just happening for me, right? But if you were going down destructive paths, this wouldn't be happening. No, of course not. And that's why I say I know I am here because of my practice. Yes. Because my practice keeps me grounded to myself. It keeps me completely locked in with what matters most to me. And like the thing that matters most to me in my life is having peaceful balance, peaceful harmony in my life, in my workplace, in my relationship with my family, with my friends, with every single thing that I do.

41:38And it's so interesting the more that I just kind of like give over because I can be a little bossy. definitely bossy. You're like my team when they're watching. They know. No, they know, but I'm not a micromanager, but I am a number eight on the Enneagram. And that has really helped me understand as an active controller. That's why I've remained the CEO, no matter what every single person told me that I needed to hire a CEO. I just, it never felt a hundred percent. I've tried and tested a lot of things that were other people's ideas. And let me tell you, they don't work. I hate to say it. And that's where I'm not always right.

42:24But when something feels completely wrong or I have nothing, do nothing. Do nothing. Nothing. I'm in such a flat place right now. And I feel, oh, my God. What do you mean? Like you're not taking on new projects. You're not like launching new stuff or what? I'm just I am being. And it's wild what happens. It's so interesting because there is this part, I've tried things, I've had PR, I've done all of these things. And I think when your mission is so big and you want to really spread your message as far and as wide, you try things. And even when it feels against the grain, But I am such a sensitive, energetic person that I've just really learned that I have to listen to that.

43:19And when something just feels like even an ounce of force, like, listen, I could have pitched, you know, had Dylan on my team, reach out to everyone on all the pod. But I'm like, no, that is not the way for me. It's through true, authentic connections. And like, I just know that, right? It's like, we met in the way that we were meant to meet. You reached out so flu - By the way, it was so nice. I was like, oh, this is just like, so me, like so organic and it felt raw. And that's when I think the most incredible things come into your life when you're not gripping. Or forcing. Or forcing. Yeah, and trusting the timing of things.

44:03Yes. You know, I tell my fiance, Martha. I love her. She's always like, I wish we would have met like 10 years ago. Like we would have had such a lot, like our life would have been so much better and we wouldn't have been through so much pain and relationship breakups and stuff like that. And I'm like, I wouldn't have looked at you the same way 10 years ago because I wasn't ready for you. I wasn't ready to be in a loving, peaceful relationship. Like I wasn't ready. I would have been like, oh, you're like an attractive, like beautiful girl who's really talented, but you don't have enough wounds for me.

44:34You know, it's like, you're not a something, you're not a project I need to like help out or something. Right. And I wasn't attracted to that. I wasn't attracted to peace. Oh. So I would have created, you know, I would have hurt you probably, you know, I'd have probably done something wrong or I'd have been like, ah, you know, whatever. I just wouldn't have been ready. That's so honest. It's so true. And I needed to go through my own healing journey to feel ready for peace because I didn't have peace inside of me still. And so I needed to be peace before I could have peace in my environment. And she's like, oh, that makes sense.

45:11But timing is everything. I agree with that. And, you know, until sometimes we have breakdowns, unfortunately, like you had a big breakdown when you're in your mid-20s. then you were ready for a breakthrough, right? And unfortunately, it wasn't sooner. You know, we all wish it was like we had peace and less pain and sadness and things we did poorly sooner. But timing is everything when you can trust in a higher power. So do you believe in God? I do. For me, it's like it is this, it's a higher power. Yeah. and where was your life when you weren't believing in a higher power versus where you do now i mean it was disconnected yeah there was no anchor and there was no contentment like just like feeling never happy oh my god contentment is such a never never good enough right never good enough no no no, no.

46:12And I, I mean, I relate so much to your story with Marta, who I love, by the way, she's amazing. Um, with Noah, like Noah, I feel like he was like a saving grace in my life because he's so calm. He's so grounded. He's like everything that I just was so unknown for me. And it was a massive part of me being able to drop into myself and to really go deep and do the work because I felt safe with him. And I felt this safe sense in my life that really, I think when you do have that, and it's very important that while he brought so many elements of that, I was discovering it within myself. I wasn't, oh, by the way, when we first started dating, I was like, he's going to save me.

47:04thank God I need to be saved. I thought he was going to save me. He was going to like, and then he wasn't. Really? Yes. I remember like he would wake up in the morning and he was like so happy and he would like be so excited for his day. And I would, I hated what I was doing. Wow. And I was just like, how do you feel like that? And like, how do you find your thing? Like I was so, I was like, the grip was so tight and I was just searching. And he was like, just try to, and I have, I still, it's hard for me to focus. Definitely undiagnosed ADHD. I mean, it's just, it's there. But he said, if you can just like pay attention to like the thing that you're interested in.

47:50And for me now it's like, pay attention to the thing that like lights you up and just give it a little focus, focus a little bit on it. And I was like, okay. And I'm like, what does he mean? Like I'm fit modeling. And then it was funny because during my, like I would be fitting all day and I like worked as a fit model for years, but I was like making bank and it was guaranteed cash. It's good money every day. It was amazing money. And I wasn't like a big model, but I was like, I don't even care anymore. Cause that was exhausting trying with all these supermodels in the room anyway. Like at least I'm making money.

48:23You're in a room and they're like fitting like the jeans and the shirts to you and all that stuff. Yeah, exactly. So you don't have to like be on for photography to like be in the world stage. It's actually like. Not like runway modeling. You're just like, I get to hang out and the designers are just like fitting to me and I'm getting good money. I was making great money. And I just remember like when things really kind of turned on where, you know, I would go, I would go to my, my fittings and maybe the tech designer was like, oh, I'm feeling really tired. And I'm like, well, what is the first thing?

48:53Like, well, how do you go to bed? And what is the first thing you do when you wake up? And then it was like, I was coaching. I started coaching, but I loved it. And then it was like, so when you're unhappy in a situation or if you don't love your job right now, bring a little joy to the job. You got to dig a little deep. And like that when I started doing that, wow. First of all, the lights go on. And I was like, I am so, I love helping people. And it was just like a little thing. I'm like, well, take magnesium, turn the lights out, put your phone away. And it's like nothing's changed. I'm still like sharing all of these things.

49:31But then I started working. So I went to the Institute for Integrative Nutrition online, the online course. And that for me was like, I didn't even want to do it because I hated school. And I was like, oh God, you have to take tests. And they're like, it's open book tests. And I still was like, oh, my God. Just the idea of taking a test gives me severe anxiety. But I was like, you know what? I'm going to challenge myself. And I remember Noah saying, let me get it for you. Let me pay for the course. And I said, no. Thank you. But I have to do it for myself. If I let you pay, I'm just going to be like, oh, whatever.

50:05I knew that. So I was like, I have to earn this. You need to invest in it. I needed to invest. So doing that. And then I started coaching people for free. I, you know, I would meet them in coffee shops and then, and then I, I was, I like pitched myself to this integrative doctor. I was, he'd never worked with health coaches before. He hired me. I was the first health coach he ever hired. Dr. Morrison, big shout out to you. Thanks for believing in me. And now he, you know, they have health coaches in their practice. But it was like listening to that, like the focus for me really helped me understand that like, okay, I couldn't leave my job because I was making great money.

50:48But on the evening, maybe like a couple evenings a week, I put dedicated a little time and then the evenings became weekends and then the weekend became – and then I had people who wanted to pay me. And then I was like getting all these offers and that was really it. Like that was when I was like, I think I can literally do this. Live off this. And I started coaching full time and I loved it, but I knew there was something missing. And I'm in that place right now. And it's so fun. What was missing? I felt like I loved talking through, but when I started blending movement, I became alive. Yes. And that was how I started teaching digitally.

51:27And I never, I'm not a trainer. I never started teaching in studio. I started teaching online. And then, you know, I feel like even after all of these years of doing this and I love what I do, I am so grateful and so proud of myself that I'm like, you did it and you're still doing it and you're going to keep doing it because the unfolding is what I've learned to really just get excited about, right? And I love speaking and I love being able to spread this, but also to help people apply their lives and their mess and their stuff to like to really get them there. To like hold, you know, it's like handholding and guiding along the way that I feel like is something that I love to do.

52:16But there's something that happens when I'm on stage or speaking where I feel I feel at home. Wow, that's beautiful. Something you said, you know, it's really interesting because there's a lot of people that are struggling or suffering or in depression or anxiety. And what I've learned over the years is that the fastest way to end your own sadness and suffering is to be in service to someone else. And like you said, you were maybe a little down or whatever, and you started coaching people just like for fun for 10, 20 minutes. And it just made you feel alive. When you're in service to someone else, helping provide value to someone else, it's the greatest gift you can give yourself to.

52:54It's almost selfish because of how good you can feel to help another person. That's how I feel with the work that I do. Like I'm just like— You're amplifying it too, yeah. So it's like you're helping millions and you're like, man, what a gift. Like this is so beautiful that I get to be of service and use my pain or my sadness for so long. and what I learned on how to get out of it to help other women who are struggling in whatever they're struggling with. And if people watching and listening just knew that like, if you're suffering in any way in sadness right now, the fastest way to overcome that is to get out of yourself and start helping someone else, helping someone with whatever you can help them with.

53:31I don't care. Listen to them. If you have no skill, just listen to them and sit with them. If you can provide value in some way, provide value for free, whatever it is, It's going to make you feel better. And the more you do it consistently, it's going to get you out of that sadness and suffering. And it's not going to solve everything, but it's going to help you a lot. It really does. And I think also like moving your body, like it's wild what movement can do. I think it's just like it brings magic to your life because all the, you know, all those endorphins and your dopamine, the serotonin, and you're just like.

54:06Like, and I think that just becomes a magnet. 100%. So bringing, like, it's like it opens up the energy. Yeah. If you can meditate on a consistent basis and calm your mind, if you can move your breath and be intentional for a few minutes a day with your breathing, whether that's with movement or not, and then if you can use movement on a daily basis in some intuitive way, you're 90 % of the way there. That's my medicine. That's it. And if you can start just eating a little bit more intuitively, you know, a little healthier, it's going to solve a lot of problems. Oh, my God. A lot. It does. You're just going to feel better.

54:45You're just going to feel better. You're going to be clearer. You're going to be happier, more joyful, more loving, more grateful. And it's not going to solve everything, but it's going to solve a lot. It is. And I think people are waiting to feel motivated. And if, let me tell you, I'm a super motivated person. I don't always feel motivated to do the things. So when I'm feeling that way, like I lean on my habits. It's like your habits are the vehicle that are going to inspire and turn on this motivation inside of you. Then you become more motivated to keep it moving. But like if you're sitting around waiting to be motivated or inspired, like we have to know that we're the creators of that.

55:28And it's like coming back to the things, unfortunately, that you may not want to do in that moment. Like I don't wake up like skipping to meditate and work out every day. And by the way, I do it for like 30 minutes. But I'm consistent and I'm devoted to myself daily. That's great. And that's where it's like less of this like pounding into the ground and it becomes. Beating yourself up and extremism. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. But how do you stay consistent when you've got a, you know, a big business now? You're a mom, a couple of kids, you know, you're married. You've got responsibilities as a wife.

56:01You've got extended family. I'm assuming that have stuff coming up all the time. You've got friends, you've got, how do you do it? How can you stay fit, healthy, calm? You know, how do you manage it all? It's even more reason for me to stay consistent. And I know what it feels like to feel bad. And I know what it feels like to live life feeling like that. And I don't want to. And even on my most down days. And some days, like, I do think you just have to let yourself like be in that and to feel all the feels, cry, say that like really get it out because it's got, you have to release it. But I, I still do the work.

56:51I still come back to it because it has me here. It has me living a life beyond my wildest dreams. And I never thought things were possible. And I now know that anything is possible. I really, truly, with everything inside of me, believe that when you want it and when you, it's not even working hard for it. I think you have to work super consistently. But when you're just willing to feel all the feelings, things to, you know, it's, I always say it's like the days that you don't want to do it, that you need it most that will completely elevate your process. And it's just like, I, after all of these years, and I still have these, you know, I have such a deep relationship with my inner self and it's like these internal conversations that I have and I get myself there and I do, I do.

57:46And I just, I want to live this life to the fullest. You said, though, earlier that like you're in a place that's kind of an interesting place right now. You said, I don't know if you said flat or neutral or. Yeah, neutral. What are you uncovering right now? Like in the last decade, you've really uncovered a lot and grown a lot and created a lot. Right. And where are you now? You mentioned earlier also like you're still doing even deeper unmasking and letting go of, you know, past wounds on a deeper level. Does that mean you're. What does that mean? Yeah. With your business and also with your personal journey inside.

58:27So right now I am doing some energy work. And it's funny because I feel like since I've been doing this work, I've kind of shifted away from other things. Like I love therapy and I think therapy is a great tool. But this has been something very transformative for me to understand that like we're all energy. And I – it's like I'm just like vibrating energy and I can feel people's energy and it's just something that magnifies my life. So the more that I'm just really paying attention to the energy that I hold around me and it's really hard because I went like this with my business, right? Like when I really hit that peak growth and then it's like, okay, like what are we doing?

59:25Keep expanding and building. Let's launch this. Exactly. And hire more people and test and trial of these things. And it got away from me. It got a little too far away from me. And I was so unhappy. And I've been feeling it for a while, but it's overwhelming. And then, you know, it's so easy to be like, oh, well, this person, you know, didn't do that, make that decision. And I was doing this, listening to other people. and I've actually never talked about this, but a couple of years ago, I brought in some investment, just with a small group of investment, but I've been a little bit of investment.

1:00:31Yeah, of course. And I also have stood behind for so many years like, oh, well, school wasn't my thing and finance isn't my thing. Enough of that. Like it is so easy to hide behind and just think you can just like hire things. And I do believe that you have to really give the majority of your energy to the thing that you're really, really good at. But I had to really face this feeling of like, why am I so uninspired? I had nothing. I was just like, it was all, it was just like putting on an act and I can do that. When was this? It's been going on for a year, but it was It was like chipping away at kind of understanding maybe in certain rooms the vibes weren't vibing.

1:01:27And I'm just like walking away and I'm like, why am I doing this? Well, yeah. And I'm just like, why wasn't it vibing? Who contributed to the vibes being off? And like I had to go under the hood of my business and own that the decisions that were made were my decisions. At the end of the day, you said yes to certain things. This is because of things I have chosen to say yes to. Whether I felt it or not, I did it. So owning that is when I was just like, and I pulled up the sleeves and I'm like, and let's get to work because nobody can fix this but me. Wow. And it was just a lot of deep, like for me, it starts with intuition and energy, but then it has to be supported by aligned actions.

1:02:20So you feel the thing, you take note, you kind of investigate, and then it's like you have to ask questions. And sometimes there's just certain people that are not meant to be in your orbit. And that's okay. Because I think when something's not working for you, it's not working for them either. Sure. Of course. But you're pulling the plug, you know, or they're pulling the plug, by the way. And it's amazing what was kind of starting to happen and shift. And I had built this beautiful space, this like, you know, I started doing this stuff in my living room. Noah, when, you know, he was like, it's so funny because he's like, you know, you were doing this thing and I was like so happy for you that you were like content doing this thing.

1:03:02But then it's like when he started paying attention, he's like, you're like, you have a real business. It was really cute and funny. And he was always supportive, but he's just like, whoa, like this is crazy. And then I, he literally built a custom desk in our living room. And I had me and two other girls on the team. So, you know, I went from that and then I went to like this, we work space that was a closet with three desks. And now I've built this beautiful space with a studio in the office. Incredible. But I didn't feel good being there. Really? No, I didn't know why. And I had to uncover and I had to ask hard questions and then I had to face things.

1:03:51But through the process of listening and taking action and other people sometimes taking action, I am in a different space in my life right now where I feel like I've like just cleaned up some cobwebs and made some really hard decisions of also buying my investors back. They're amazing, the most incredible group, and it was nothing to do with them. It was just the simple fact that something was not completely feeling in the flow for me. And I think I put on my own pressure of feeling like I've got to deliver this thing, but also understanding that I think people, you know, make it sound like the North Star should be selling your business.

1:04:48And I just like the more I kind of raising money, selling the business. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, oh my God. Hiring more and more people. I was just like, I love that. I love what I love this. I don't think that's, I don't think that's it. And just being really honest and transparent and has helped me to just really come back to myself. Wow. That's beautiful. Yeah. More is not always more. No, it's not. And I think testing, and by the way, because I think it's so easy to think about all the money and the things, oh God, the time. And I wait on that for a bit, to be honest. But then I'm like, thank you.

1:05:35Thank you for showing me, for guiding me, for allowing me to really own this and to just know that those were my lessons. And I had to do, I had to go all, you know, through all of these things to be at this neutral chapter, which, you know, I like highs when they're high and I even can vibe with a low when it's low because it's just like, I'm used to this. But you're not used to this. No, but I'm, oh my God, it's so beautiful. Yeah. And I'm just like. You don't know what to expect next. Is that what it is? Or you're not clear yet? I know that I want to do more motivational speaking. I am a motivational speaker and just saying that more, I'm like, Melissa, you are a motivational speaker.

1:06:24Stop saying you want to be, you are a motive. And I just, even that, like exercising that skill in the way that I talk about it and getting, getting myself out there to, to do more things. And I feel really excited without knowing a damn thing that's about to come. Wow. So what does that look like? If you had a vision for your life over the next few years, what does that feeling or experience look like? Honestly, it all comes back to my community because it is, oh my God. I mean, and how this came to be is I did my first like really big class in Brooklyn at the one hotel years ago. Like a live class in person.

1:07:10Yeah. Like an in-person class where I, you know, we did a meditation and I guided a class, but it was the speaking part that I walked away from that experience. And by the way, it was so crazy because I stayed at the one hotel the night before. Cause I was like, I need to just like get grounded. And sometimes when your kids are clawing, you know, I was just like, give me a moment. This is my first big thing with 300 ish people that I had ever done. And I was in the room and I, I like thought people were like screaming on the street. But then I looked out the window and I was like, oh my God, oh my God, I think they're lined up.

1:07:52And I like, I started to panic because I was like, are people going to come? Like, are you sure they RSVP? It was so weird. I started feeling like no one was going to come. I know that feeling. Oh my God. And then I didn't prepare the damn thing. you'd been preparing for 10 years you know you've been doing reps yeah yeah and and honestly that is my inner genius that i can drop in i'm so connected to source and that just flows through me i've never like i don't plan a class i don't plan a meditation and i didn't plan a talk but it poured out of wow that's cool and i went home and i remember i was like laying in bed my legs are up the wall as they are every night before bed.

1:08:34And I was talking to Noah and I said, I feel the most like at home. And I just feel that's what happened to me today is what I'm meant to be doing. You felt alive. Yes. I felt so alive. When's the last time you did one of those? So that's where things get interesting, right? Because I've done some, I have done some, but I can really hide behind teaching a class because it's safe and it's known. Versus what? Versus just getting up there and speaking. Oh, so it was, so you've been doing more class teaching. Well, like it kind of blends. It's like a motive, you know, a meditation and then we move and then we, and by the way, that is beautiful and I love doing it.

1:09:25But I just like every time I'm speaking. Just speaking. Just speaking. No, not doing a class. And by the way, people like our members, my members come to me like, sure, I can give, I can put you through a killer workout, a workout that you, you know, a lot of people are strong. This is, it's different because it's mostly using your own body weight and just like the blend of that alone combined with the way I kind of, you know, will fuse things together. but people come to me for, for, for the, it's like what I give in my energy and feeling motivated. Right. Like, cause that starts to pour through me when I'm teaching and I feel that in my soul, like that's what they really want.

1:10:12They want all of it, all the things, but it's a feeling. They get a workout anywhere. Yeah. They can work out anywhere and they do, you know, but, But they get a feeling and something's unique with you that they want more of. Yes. And I'm really, I'm stepping into that. So does that, I mean, okay, I'm trying to understand that. So you like doing classes, but that's not the main thing you want to be doing. It's, I feel like it was, I love teaching digitally. Yes. Like I am, I. Not in-person classes. I mean, I'll do it. I love it occasionally, but like, I'm not going to teach every week in a studio or like train client.

1:10:51Like that is not my soul's work. So what is the vision then for your soul's work? Is it to speak on stage for this next season of life? Yes. And not teaching a workshop or a class, just speaking. So it's a combination of both. Okay. And I'm really... What does the perfect speech look like for you where you feel most alive? It's starting with my keynote. Okay. I'm like really giving like the story and how I have gotten to this place. But then it's taking that and it is giving the how-to to everyone in the space. Like with a class example? No, no, no. So no class, no workout. A meditation, definitely a meditation.

1:11:36Maybe we'll get up and we'll do something. Shake it off, but not like laying down on the mat and doing a workout. Okay, so it's not a workout speech. It's not a workout. It's a speech speech. It's a real. Okay. So when's the last time you did one of those? So the last time I did that was I was invited to, where did I speak? I went to Austin and Snapchat had me come for, what is it? Why am I drawing a blank on that? South by Southwest. South by Southwest. Thank you. Like it was huge for me to have them come. And how was that? It was incredible. It was amazing. But that was like five months ago, six months ago.

1:12:14Thank you. Look at this. I love this. So what are you waiting to do next? Well, I'm we're I'm doing one in the beginning in Q1. We're looking at booking the space like right now. Like I'm we're I'm actively working towards getting this thing together. But it's there's nothing standing in the way. It's it's more now. I know that I've taken a lot of this space to like get myself. And I've done a lot of talks in between two. Like I did one last Friday. I'm doing one next week. And, you know, room of 70 people, 100 people, I've spoken to 500, 500 plus. So I've been grooming this. But this one I'm putting on.

1:13:01Okay. This is my event. Yeah, in early next year. And as you know, that takes, I mean, it's a lot of work. So we've been chipping away at this for a while. But I can very confidently say in 2025. It's happening. It's freaking happening. Like, I really can't wait. And when I, even like last Friday when I spoke to these 70 women, I was like, I am so, like, I'm the most me I've ever been. Okay. So you feel the most alive when you're doing this. I do. I can see it in your energy. I know. I completely shifted. I felt it. But you've only done a couple of them this year, it sounds like, right? No, I've done more than a couple.

1:13:46Okay. I've done a lot. Yeah, I've done a lot. But they're very much like I'm being invited. Sure. But I wanted to use this time to, like, exercise my skill. I mean, why don't you just do it at your office space, like, once every week or every two weeks? Like just let women come in and be like, you know, 100 % event and just get your reps. Yeah. It doesn't have to be a big production. Oh, we have to plan six months in advance. It doesn't, but I feel like I really, my energy vibrates. Like I feel very called to like the space we're looking at as a thousand people. Like I just, I've done the 500s.

1:14:29I've done a little more, but I feel like I'm just. You would do a bigger thing now. Yeah. Yeah. And I have been, I mean, the thing is with, and I love where you're going with this. Call me on it. Yeah, I am. No, I like it. Thank you. Because it's also, I have to face that. I have, and this is something like I had to ask myself, like, am I procrastinating? This is when I started working with this energy worker. Doesn't mean to look too perfect. Yeah. And I was like, am I, and it, it was so clear. And this is when I really got to work. It's been about four months of this. I had so much detangling to do.

1:15:10Yes. And it's not an excuse. No, I hear you, though. But when you're so detangled. It's hard to give your energy to something. You can't. Yeah. And now as things are all starting to open up, it's like I'm opening up. Sure, sure, sure. Time is everything. It's everything. I was talking with Gabby Bernstein last night. We were talking about you. She's the best. I love Gabby. And talking about how, you know, she's always, she's loved watching your journey and just how you've exploded. But she did something for years, I think. I mean, it was a year where it was like once a month. There was like a beautiful church in New York City that she would just open.

1:15:45Oh, I used to go. Did you? Yeah. Yeah. So there's got to be something like that where also it doesn't have to be a big production. No, I like that. I want to do this once a month for 300 or 500 or however many people where it's like a 90-minute thing. And I'm just going to get my practice reps here in New York for the bigger thing that I'm going to build later. Oh, I really love that. And it's content for the app. And it's whatever. You can invite your friends. You can bring, you know, other people, whatever it might be. And just whoever shows, shows. That's a great idea. If it's 100 people, if it's 1 ,000 people, but I'm going to bring my best once a month.

1:16:17And I get a rep every month. And I'm going to create something for myself. And I'm also going to have content for the whole month. I'm going to have, you know, more videos to show other big events, what I'm doing in front of, like, it's just got to activate it. I love that. You know what I mean? I felt a very strong yes when you said that. Like, it doesn't have to be overproduced, but it could be a beautiful church. It could be, I don't know whether Gabby did it, but it always looked, oh, it's pretty beautiful. Yeah, she, I've been to like one that she did at a church and then I was, I would go to Marianne Williamson, who was also like one of her teachers.

1:16:51She did it weekly. Oh, I went weekly for a long time. So you could do something like that. Yes. It could be once a month to start. I love it. This is great. I like this. I'm really liking this. And what I've been, what I've really been peeling back the layers on is clearly perfection. Can you tell? If I, I mean, yeah, if I was, if I were you, I would say, you know, you should give yourself a challenge to, to make it feel a little scary. And I wouldn't wait till next year. I would say, how do I do this in November or December? Okay. It's like, how do I do this before the end of the year where I don't feel fully prepared, where it scares me a little bit because I feel like I want it to be this produced perfect thing and just show up and give my heart and soul to my community.

1:17:34I love it. And that's when I'm my best, by the way, when it's less produced, which is what I've gone back to. Just a mic and you on stage. Yeah. And put a little music on and that's it. And you deliver, you know? Thank you for that. So, I mean, the holidays are coming up. It's like perfect time, November, December, to like just put something together and see who shows up. You know, it's scary when you don't know how many people are going to show up. I just had an event a few weeks ago and I was literally like, I have no idea. It was a 6 ,000 person venue and I go, I don't know if people are going to show up or not.

1:18:06Like we're going to have a thousand people here and it's going to look empty. Right. It was until people are there, you're like, oh, okay, this thing is full. But it's a little scary. It's really scary. And I've been doing it for eight years. Right. You know, it's like, so I don't know, something what I'm hearing you say is like you just being able to show up and hundreds of people coming and you being able to deliver. And the joy that brings you like and the memory that gives you at night afterwards and how you get to talk about it and how you get to relive it. That memory dividend sounds like it's one of the greatest joys you have.

1:18:38It is. When you're on stage speaking. And so don't limit yourself on your ability to serve until the perfect timing or the perfect space or the perfect – I have to detangle everything. I get the detangling, but it's like you can keep getting practice reps locally in a smaller venue. Thank you. I needed to hear that. Yeah. And your community wants you, right? You're doing a disservice by not adding a space for them to show up. You're freaking right. They're messaging you saying, we want more of you. And this is the thing you want to do more of. It's not like you're wanting to do something that you don't want to do.

1:19:16It's not like your audience is asking you to do like a mastermind or a coaching program or another course where you're like, I'm just tired of creating more. They're asking you to do something that your heart is telling you you love the most based on what I'm hearing you say. A million percent. Thank you. I needed this. Yeah. I would set a date in November, December. Okay. And say, I'm just going to get a venue that I can just do a two-hour talk. And that's the thing. I'm just like, I don't want to set it. Just like a walk-in. Walk-in. Do the thing. That's it. No production. Yes. Mic and some music.

1:19:48I like less production. That's been a big thing. And you can keep doing the thousand-person venue later. Next year, you can set that and create that. But this is where your heart and your soul comes alive and where you can serve your community. Thank you. Do Gabby Bernstein, Marianne Williamson style. You know, it's like serve. Thank you. Yeah. I really needed. I'm going to text you and see next week if you've got a date. Done. No, I feel like as soon as you said it, and I think this is where, you know, with my team right now, I feel like I've really just been coming back to the basics of like, what brings me alive?

1:20:26Like, I've been, I actually went back to doing my lives on my phone with no, like we have lights in there, but it's like dark and it's not. Perfect. It's not fancy. Oh, my God. It's like it's when I'm the most me. I mean, even consider going back and just make it look like your living room. You know, maybe you don't want to film in your living room anymore, but make it set it up like your living room. I do still film in my living room. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. I will never stop doing that. At home? Yes. There you go. Yeah. That's cool. I bring it with me everywhere. Wow, that's amazing. Amazing.

1:20:56Yeah, I would love to see you on a stage in New York, like just a church or a venue, like get what Gabby did. You gave me a gift. Like it could be once a month. It doesn't have to be weekly. and just see how that feels. Okay. And only book it one month ahead. If you don't want to do it next month, I don't have to do it anymore. If it's getting too overwhelming or it doesn't feel right, oh, I'm stopping. You know? Team, get ready. Yeah, yeah. I'm calling right after this. And that's the feeder for like, oh, we're going to do a 1 ,000 or 2 ,000-person venue next year, and this is like you can sell tickets to that at your monthly thing.

1:21:29Yeah. I feel like I've been standing in my own way. And honestly, it's so interesting because I think you can be really excited about something and at the same time so scared of really stepping in. 100%. And I will admit that. Yeah, of course. Yeah. But this is – you're here for a reason today. You gave me – it was like an electric like listen and yes. Well, just you talking about it and like this is what you're most alive is what you're saying, you know, and I'm feeling that. And I'm like, well, why have I only done it a few times this year? Right. You know, it's like, do it once a month, you know?

1:22:05Okay. On your own here in New York. Yeah. This has been beautiful. I've got a couple of final questions for you. Amazing. But what I'm hearing you say throughout this entire conversation is that when you give yourself the space and time to start listening to the direction of your life, and am I in the direction that I want to be in or am I not? Based on how I'm feeling, based on my environment, based on the people in my life, am I on the direction, am I on the path, and do I feel good about me? Do I have a good relationship with me? When you've been able to do that consistently, good things happen in your life.

1:22:46When you keep taking consistent, healthy actions on a daily basis, More abundance comes to you. You're manifesting the right things. Organically, things flow to you better, and it feels more effortless. When you're making decisions that are not in alignment with your inner child or with the divine, it's a lot of effort, and things don't flow to you. And there's a lot of destruction and sadness and suffering in your path. And so I want to acknowledge you, Melissa, for the journey you continue to take to be in service to the little girl inside of you, to be there for her, even when she's maybe screaming at times and you're doing not everything perfect all the time, but you keep realigning with the values you have that she needs.

1:23:30I know you have kids, but the most important child you have is the one with yourself. And so I acknowledge you for being on that journey to being a great mother to yourself as well as your own kids. and being of service, using your soul to be of service to your community. And I acknowledge you for making the actions in your business recently to realign with that, even though that might be scary and worried what people are going to think about me and what I'm going to upset some people and these different things. But, you know, more is not always more. And so I acknowledge you for taking these challenging, courageous steps.

1:24:09and I'm so excited that we're connecting and I hope to see you continue to be in your power without it being perfect. Oh, yes. I've got two final questions for you, Melissa, before I ask them, how can people who are listening or watching be of service to you today? Where can we support and follow you and serve you? Thank you. I just, I'm like so full of gratitude. It's such a beautiful thing when you can like really take it in. You can come to melissawoodhealth.com and I have workouts and meditations. I have over a thousand videos and I really truly have something for everyone that was always important to me, no matter what stage of life you are in, whether you are pregnant, newly postpartum, have never worked out, have taken years off.

1:25:02And with these workouts and the programs that I've created, I feel very confident that it will guide you to a place of true inner alignment with yourself. And meditations, I have recipes. I really share so much. I try to give it all there. And our Instagram for Melissa Wood Health is at Melissa Wood Health and my personal is at Melissa Wood Tepperberg. Awesome. Okay. Well, make sure to check that out. And if you're in New York, make sure to follow her to see when she's doing her event here in New York at the end of this year, hopefully. No pressure, but only if it fills a line for you. It does.

1:25:42Yeah. Yeah. You lit a fire. I love it. Yeah. I don't want you to feel like I have to do this, but it's like if you feel called the end of this year, It's happening. This is a question I ask everyone towards the end of our conversations. It's called the three truths. So imagine a hypothetical scenario. You get to live as long as you want in this world, but it's your last day on this earth. So imagine you're as old as you want to be. And from this moment of this conversation until that last day, you get to create everything you want in your life. Whether you want to create more or less, whatever it is, you get to develop and create anything.

1:26:17And all your dreams come true. Everything. comes true. But for whatever reason in this hypothetical scenario, you have to take all of your work with you, all of your content, the videos, this conversation, anything you create, we don't have access in this world after you're gone, hypothetically. But on the last day, you get to leave behind three truths, three things you know to be true from all your experiences in life, kind of like your three lessons to life. And this is all we have to remember of your content. What would be those three truths for you? Oh, God, this is so good. The three truths for me would be to listen to your gut because it's guiding you in ways and directions beyond anything you ever could have imagined.

1:27:13Open your heart. Because when you do, it opens the doors to everything in your life.

1:27:29and the third would be to be exactly who you are and no matter what's going on around you and people are doing things you want to do and they rethink they're doing it better the more that you can just come back to you and move through life in the way that you do is where I think the beauty of us really unfolds. That's beautiful. Final question, Melissa, what's your definition of greatness? My definition of greatness is

1:28:17having this

1:28:22contentment and alignment in your life. And no matter what it looks like, because I think when you peel all of that stuff back, it's this, this feeling that you wake up with and you just feel so good and excited for it all. Like that to me is just what living a great life is and being a great person and just showing up with this greatness through it all. Awesome. Melissa, thanks for being here. Appreciate it. Thank you so much. Amazing. Anything you wanted to add or anything? Oh my God, I feel like we went there in every way, shape and form. And it's so interesting too, because I feel like I told my story so differently.

1:29:06And I love what you pulled out of me. That's great. That's great. It's beautiful. Thank you. Appreciate it. Thank you. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally, as well as ad-free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well.

1:29:41Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review. I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward. And I want to remind you if no one has told you lately that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.

1:30:06I don't know.