Jiu Jitsu Master: Unlock Confidence and Achieve Balance with These Principles w/ Rener Gracie

26:25But my point is I can do whatever I want with you once I grab you one time. And this is what happened in all these challenge matches. So you right now versus Mike Tyson in his prime, you would win every time. You got to choose where to put your money. But that's where you believe. I put my house, all my kids, all my money, everything I own, I put on that and I double it the next day. Wow. Unless he got lucky with one punch. Yes, my point is this. He has to get lucky with one punch which if you see two professional boxers boxing how hard is that? It's hard to get that punch. It's hard. Right? And if I stand six feet away there is no punch.

26:58And then when I close the distance and I grab it, these punches are no longer powerful because I'm too close. Wow. And to be clear, Hoist challenged Mike at his prime. Hoist, there was a challenge where Hoist Gracie challenged Mike Tyson publicly and Mike did not accept the challenge at his boxing prime. So this has already happened. And Mike knows. Unless it was boxing rules. Of course. No, but it's suicide. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The same way MMA or what we now call MMA, but back then is normal Vale Tudo, which is called Everything Goes in Portuguese. Vale Tudo, Mike versus any member of the Gracie family, you know, in their athletic, healthy, you know, state of 25, 35, 40 years old.

27:34Mike has no cheers. And he knows this and he respects this because he's playing a sport. Boxing is a sport. It's one sliver of a fight. Jiu Jitsu is a complete fighting system that covers the striking, the distance management, the distance closure, the taking the fight to the ground. On the ground, whether we're on top or on bottom, whether you're striking me or not makes no difference. If you practice Jiu Jitsu in its fullest form, you have control of every aspect of the fight. Have you ever had to use this in the real world? Yeah. Like out in public? Have you ever had to submit someone? 12 years old.

28:08Really? 12 years old. As an adult, have you had to also or no? Yes. Here's the irony of it all. So when I was 12, I fought. Like out in the streets. Yes. When I was 35, I verbally de-escalated because I knew how to fight. Right. That's the key in all of this. The number one skill everyone listening and watching right now needs for self-defense is the ability to set boundaries. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's so critical. And this isn't true with just strangers. It's also true in our personal relationships, in our intimate relationships, right? So important. Boundary setting. But let's take it to the self-defense realm for a second.

28:47What was this at 35? What happened? Oh, I'm going to tell you, but I'm going to frame it. Okay. Okay. So self-defense is boundary setting because let's say you're a woman at a gas station pumping gas and someone is walking towards you. You don't know who they are. They might be even nicely dressed. Let's just make it less suspicious. There's a normal looking guy walking towards you. For a woman in that situation - Non-threatening. No, we don't know. We don't know. That's the whole point. a woman does it no but let's say her senses tell her doesn't feel right there's nobody else in the gas station he's moving directly towards her there's no car next to you there's no store over there he's not where is he going so if she starts to feel that feeling the number one thing she must do is turn and look directly at him and say don't get any closer wow set a boundary stay right there yeah if he takes one more step i said don't get any closer she has to escalate because when you set a boundary, you've now created the opportunity to reveal intention.

29:46If you don't set a boundary, you don't ever have a way of assessing truly the intention. If you say, hey, don't get any closer. And he backs up and says, I'm so sorry, ma 'am, you dropped this. I was going to give it to you, but I can see that I shouldn't have walked towards you when you're by yourself. I'm so sorry. I'll leave it here. No harm, no foul. Everyone's happy. Everyone went home safely. Amazing. Or if you say, hey, don't step any closer. And he takes one more step by saying, but ma 'am, I just want to make sure if you need any help. I don't need any help. Stay where you are. You see how he tried to give her the runaround, the conversational web, we call this.

30:22When he tries to give her that runaround and wrap her into that web of random mumbo jumbo question and answer, just random conversation to trick her to get closer. He's trying to get closer so we can take action without being detected. The point is you'll never know that it's game on until you set that boundary. So when we teach women, when we teach children dealing with bullies, and even when we teach men in a road rage incident, I'm going to say, guys, you got to get out of the car. He might be upset. You need to tell him, stay right where you are. I can see you're upset. I'm going to take my car out of this parking spot because I know you can see that you think it was your spot, but don't take one step closer.

30:58And if he takes another step guess what it's on do you understand you set a boundary you reveal the intentions here's the problem here's the problem louis it gets worse whether it's a child whether it's a woman whether it's a man people don't set boundaries that they aren't capable of enforcing they're false boundaries yeah they're hollow right they're all you can't say don't take one more step If them taking one more step, your whole system's gonna hardwire and you're gonna trip out and run in circles and run. Do you understand? You don't have the backup. So here's what this is all about. Learn how to fight so you never have to fight.

31:39Yes. That's the whole game. I don't get into fights as an adult because I'm so empowered with Jiu Jitsu that there isn't an altercation that I can't verbally de-escalate. it doesn't exist unless someone is in the act of violently assaulting someone yes in which case i will intervene and put out that fire with water and compassion and i'll protect the aggressor i'll protect the victim and i'll protect myself we all go home no one goes to the hospital that's my ability and my commitment if i have to intervene so unless of course i have to use a higher level but not to say that if i don't catch you in an arm bar and you have a knife in your hand yeah the arm is coming off until you drop the knife i'll take the arm off and i'll go home and hang on my mantle so to be clear i have the ability but i also have the ability to do everything i want to do without hurting anyone yes and you you never had to have you ever had to intervene in a fight so the situation that i had i was at the i was at the um anaheim house of blues for an ozo motley concert amazing band uh uli the head one of the head guys there is a black belt of ours he was performing and i was in the crowd as me and my wife and there's a guy next to me who literally created his own mosh pit just banging people yeah yeah and i'm like no one is moshing right now and i'm not even in the front i'm like way back like where the bar is i don't drink right just water and watermelon juice but like i'm back where the bar is and i'm hanging out like getting a good view like a good eye level and he's just throwing a mosh and in my mind i'm like i can move but he will make someone else's life uncomfortable you feel me like this is inappropriate he's just He's tripping on some drugs or alcohol or both.

33:13And I said, if he bumps me one more time, I will have to make this clear. He bumped you. Bro, it was crazy. So, yeah. So, he freaking comes in. He bumps again. Boom, he hits me again. Right next to him, I grab him by the neck. And I say, hey, bud, I see you're having a really good time. Wow. I say, but do me a favor. do not bump into me one more time or we're going to have to dance.

33:47And then I alleviated my squeeze.

33:53What happened? And there was no more mosh pit. Wow. You never had to get in a fight then. You've always been able to DS. I've had some challenge matches where guys come into the school and say, I believe in kickboxing, I believe in jujitsu, let's fight. But out in the street, I have not in my recollection. Right. Except for the challenge matches in the fight when I was younger, when I was a kid. And then every week we put on gloves and we punch each other while we practice in a safe way. Right, right, right. But yeah, not really having to. Yeah, not being out in the street. That's right. Because that's the challenge, right?

34:21And it's almost like, imagine if I carried a gun everywhere. You feel me? Always. And I spoke to people as if I had a gun. How many fights do you think I would get it? None. Right. Because they know I have a gun. Yeah. I don't carry a gun. but I carry the confidence of someone who has a gun. So I speak the same way. Right. And they feel it. And if anything push comes to shove, right, if the combative energy of an interaction starts to escalate, calm, assertive, right? Cesar Millan, who I've taught as well. Yeah, he's great. Calm, assertive. Listen, man, I can see you're having a good time. Do me a favor.

35:01Don't bother me one more time or it's going to be a problem. Yeah. And when you talk like that, he thinks either I have a gun or I have a jujitsu black belt. He doesn't know and he doesn't want to pay to find out. What is someone with your type of skill sets and your decades of experience and training, not only you mastering it for yourself, but also you teaching and empowering others to become black belts eventually and watching them overcome challenges. What does someone like yourself deal with insecurity? Do you have insecurities still that you face? Is it a different type of insecurity or fears that you face with this?

35:38Or is it just less and more confidence than without the black belt or without the training? The heavy question. When we talk about my insecurities or my fears, I think my biggest fear is letting my sons down. You feel me? We get one go at this. I have two boys, seven and four. And I'm like, I've seen a lot of people kind of play their movies out and, and, and the movie ends in a way that, you know, was not either what they wanted or what they intended. I have a vision for how my movie ends and where it goes. And my biggest fear is that I fall short of how I anticipate my movie going, right. When it comes to, um, right.

36:27But living up to, I think, my kid's expectation of me or living up to my full potential as a father, as a husband, that's my only big fear, big insecurity. Other than that, professionally, it's very good. I've achieved heights that I never imagined would be possible from someone who, right, grew up in a martial arts family, right, for all intended purposes, a karate family, right, to the general public, wearing a uniform and practicing jujitsu moves on the mat, never went to college, right, no degree, but now, you know, sitting at the helm of multiple very successful businesses in and out of jujitsu.

37:07so professionally i'm very happy um relational relationship wise it's great i have a wonderful marriage with a wife that i've been with for over a decade now and it's just everything is great right so for me it's like how does this movie end where do i go and do i continue to be the father to them that um that i know i can be and i just want to let them down and that's it how do people after they go through jiu-jitsu training for a while how do their intimate relationships usually tend to go? Maybe they're in a child you want and they get out of it or they improve it, or are people in jujitsu single and divorced?

37:45Are they more like, okay, they see the value of actually committing and being in an intimate relationship and honoring your partner. How is the community overall with healthy conscious relationships? And what does it teach you about intimacy? Great question. There is a very common thing that occurs on the green mats in Jiu-Jitsu heaven here at our school of the tour. It's called Gracie University. Very common thing, which is when people, men in particular, stop coming to class for a while. Say they stub a toe, professionally they get caught up with a work mission, two or three weeks go by. their wives are the ones who tell them to go back to class.

38:30Yeah. So that should tell you something.

38:37Patience, right? Humility. Humility. You can submit it all the time. Humility, patience, right? The energy, right? Letting that energy out, that physical release of Jiu-Jitsu. All the principles, right, that we talk about in the book, that are reinforced every single day. The problem-solving principles, the clock principle, the win-wins, all of these aspects that are so prominent on the mat leak into every aspect of our lives. We become better fathers, better husbands, better brothers, better bosses, better employees, every aspect of your life. Come on. You will be a better performer in that capacity with the principles of jujitsu in your arsenal, in your problem-solving arsenal.

39:19Because when you deal with adversity in the unique and effective ways that jujitsu deals with adversity on a daily basis, you can't not allow it to spill into every other aspect of your life. Once you're efficient somewhere, you're efficient everywhere. How you are anywhere is how you are everywhere. And jujitsu, it just reprograms us in the ways I already explained such that when you go home or you go to the office or you're existing anywhere else, you're not the same human being anymore. You're wired differently. And this is where the addiction comes from. It becomes a new source of your mental and psychological programming.

40:01And if you detach from it for an extended period of time, it's a perishable skill. It's a perishable relationship. So it's one that we want to keep close to heart at all times. And the regular practice will constantly reinforce that. What are the principles of jiu-jitsu that teach an individual how to gain more confidence and how to understand and really know the psychology of any human being they interact with? Great question. There isn't a principle that teaches confidence. There is an art that when practiced, unavoidably builds confidence in the practitioner. we have a student Maximo a young kid um maybe 10 years old has been bullied for three years now incessant bullying it's affecting the parents it's expecting the family they've talked to the school they've talked to the principals they're on the brink of pulling this kid out of school and then we came into the summer break right now so it's a little breather but they're literally on the fence and they came in to Gracie University and the mom is you know again what do we do but they saw a video online of a transformation for a bullying victim that we did where we flew a kid from Indiana and we transformed him in one week after getting pummeled on a video in the locker bay.

41:12We transformed this young man named Austin, went home, never had problems with bowling again, completely transformed his life, became a U.S. Marine, absolute stud. And her whole life changed at Gracie University. So anyways, they saw that video. They showed Maximal and he liked the video and he, I want to go, I want to do this. So he came to class, starts doing Jiu-Jitsu with us. It's been just the summer right now. He has two stripes on his white belt, which is like 20 classes. So very new. He was at Junior Guards, which is a lifeguard training program. He's a very good swimmer. And a friend, him and Ozzy, his friend were hanging out and another boy came over and was bullying Maximal.

41:51So was being quite aggressive with him making inappropriate jokes and really making fun of him. And then Ozzy stands up and says, hey man, leave him alone. Kind of just steps in and intervenes there. And then the bully turns and starts attacking Ozzy, put physically and verbally. And then this is Maximo's moment of truth. Oh, wow. Because he never asserted himself ever against this opposition, against this type of aggression. So he stands up, he puts himself between Ozzy and the bully and says, hey, if you're messing with him, you're messing with me.

42:23The guy throws his hands out, mumbles something, turns and walks off. Wow. For the first time in his life, Maximo just learned that on the other side of setting a boundary with powerful voice, powerful eyes, and powerful posture is freedom. He's free. He's free. The mom came in. I couldn't believe it. Henner, we celebrated this. Wow. Unbelievable. Everything you guys said worked exactly as we mentioned. didn't. But again, the only way he was able to set this boundary was because he had spent 20 hours building the skills to feel like, no, if you want to get down, we get down. So the jujitsu that he learned, learning how to fight, prevented him from having to fight.

43:08And if he ever has to get down, he's ready. He knows that, which is why he can set that boundary. Do you feel like you ever face a battle or a war in your own mind? Or do you feel like, you know, whenever there's an adversity, you have a sense of peace and confidence that you'll be able to figure it out because you've just been through adversity so much? Or do you have anxiety and stress? No, I don't. There are stressful moments when it all comes at the same time. You go, okay, the stress is having multiple opportunities, sometimes positive opportunities and not knowing where to shuffle and spend your time from a leader of multiple businesses.

43:41So I deal with, like everyone, I just have a lot going on and I got to choose. So that's kind of like a eustress versus the distress, which is the one that you're kind of overwhelmed by in a negative way. But in terms of what's going through my head throughout this process, it always is a faith, a trust that, hey, no, no, no, I've been in way worse in fights against guys that are 300 pounds. Yeah. Upside down on your head. Headlock smashing, guy on top of me, sweating on me, and I'm down there. And all I'm thinking is, oh, he makes one mistake. I'm coming out and I'm going to get him on the choke hold on the way out.

44:14Wow. No problem. I've been here before. So in life, when it's all coming at you, all I'm saying is this is the bottom of the mount. It's okay. Bottom of the mount is not the best place to be in a fight, but because of jiu-jitsu, it's also not the worst. And when the opportunity presents itself, the right move at the wrong time is the wrong move. Timing is everything. This is the clock principle. Say it again. The right move at the wrong time is the wrong move. So if I can't escape right now, that's okay. because, right, it's going to shift. The opportunity will present itself and the circumstances will change.

44:47And when they change, my opportunity will present itself. I literally live that every single day in jujitsu. When things are not favorable, they will become favorable. You just must be patient and you just must wait for the opportunity if it's not an actionable opportunity available to you right now. It will be there. So in life, when it feels like it's all coming from every angle, I just sometimes will just breathe, say, okay, right now, what am I going to focus my energy on? I might be neglecting 20 other things in my life, but I'm going to do this right now. So this is what I choose. And I commit to this.

45:18This is the technique I'm going to apply right now. If it pans out, great. If halfway through my application of this life technique, it doesn't pan out, I will pivot principle. Principle 21. And off we go. And that's okay. And I'll pivot then. But I'm not going to stress now about whether or not this is going to pan out fully because I know when the circumstances change, I am also capable of change in that moment. Wow. You know, you've got 32 principles, uh, that you've learned from your family history, from the, uh, martial arts history in jujitsu. And, um, there's five that I wanted to cover today.

45:53Yeah. Let's talk about some. If we, you know, from the book, there's five that I think if people started to tap into and started to say, how can I apply this to my life right now? What are a few key principles to give me more confidence, to give me more poise, to give me more focus, more commitment in my life? I love it. To be able to handle adversity, what would these few be? And there's one called the clock principle. I want to get into it. You mentioned this before already that recognizing that the right move at the wrong time is the wrong move. Can you give me one example of what that is and how we can apply this to our life?

46:27Sure. So there are 32 principles we've identified, clock principle being one critical, important in terms of timing, right? timing in a fight. As you would imagine, it's everything. That spills over into our personal and professional lives as well. I had a situation where one time a psychologist who trained with us, a student of ours, a female psychologist, recommended a student to us. She said, Henner, I have a student, his name is Shane, young man, teenager, 16 years old, who suffers from the most severe case of social anxiety that I've ever seen as a doctor. He vomits profusely in going into any situation where there's any type of social aspect of it.

47:06And I think Jutsu would be great for him, build his confidence. I said, great, bring him in. Thursday, talk to his mom. We scheduled for Thursday. I scheduled for a time where there was no one in the building, so he would be no trouble stepping in and getting a tour. Mom calls me at 4.05, 4.10, five minutes after we're supposed to start the class. And says, Henner, sorry, we're not going to make it. I said, what do you mean? Where are you? She said, I'm outside in the parking lot, but we're not coming in. He's terrified. He can't do it. I said, hold on, you're outside my building right now? She said, yeah, that's me right there.

47:33I said, hold on. Can I come say hi? Yes. I walk out. I get to the car. As I approach the car on the passenger side, it's parked on the streets of the curb. I hear the most intense gut cry I've ever heard. Screaming, crying. Yeah, yeah. Breathing, but crying, forcing it out. And I look at the mom and I say, I'm completely shocked in this moment. I've never experienced this before. I've never dealt with extreme social anxiety like this and I'm looking at the mother who's standing outside the car on the passenger side to greet me, I don't know what to do. This is a situation you have to understand, Louis.

48:05When you put it in jutsu context, I'm on the bottom of a trapping bad situation and I don't have the technique. I don't have the technique. You don't have the skills or the tools. I don't know the move, but I have the principles. So in this moment, full trust that if I commit to the process, the principles will set me free. So in this moment, I see her and I said, look, Can I go in the car? She says, yeah, of course. So I go to the passenger side. I open the door. I sit in the chair. Back seat, passenger side. He's over here. I'm sorry, passenger side. I'm on the driver's side. And he doubled over crying like this.

48:39And I'm just sitting watching him in the back seat here. Loud. 20 minutes. I don't say a word. Holy cow. Depletion principle. Sometimes the best way to win is just to avoid losing. let them deplete themselves. Their energy. Yes. You let them go. Imagine if I would have felt I had to hurry this up and get them in their head. Never would have worked. Right. So I trusted in this moment as I do every day in jujitsu, wait, deplete, the time will present itself. Wow. So I'm sitting 20 minutes later, he sits up, ran out of steam. And then I'm here. What's up, buddy? I said, hey, bro, what do you like to do for fun?

49:23Redirection principle. Video games. I said, tell me more. 15 minutes, we're talking about video games. I know nothing about. I don't got time for video games. I don't play video games. I have no idea what he's talking about. Just asking questions about video games. He's telling me his whole life about video games. Loves them. He's all animated. Now we're connecting. Boom. Once I felt that we were here, connection principle, principle one. There was a real connection in that car. We were now socially connecting about video games, something he loved that I redirected him towards. I said, Hey Shane, thanks for coming in.

50:00I said, we have a really nice facility and I'd love to give you a tour if you'll let me. Beautiful. Just show you around. What do you think? He'll like this. Okay. That's cool. I said, let's go. We get out of the car. We walk, we go in. I tour the museum, show some artifacts. I walked to the building in my mind at this point, all I'm thinking is he cannot leave this building without doing jiu-jitsu today wow i'm telling you i'm sweating bullets inside how do i get it i gotta get him on the mat i gotta get him to do jiu-jitsu one thing but if i say hey dude you want to learn jiu-jitsu he's running to the car throwing up on the way i can imagine right so like this is a high stress we'll call it an intense encounter where I'm on the fly pulling from my life of jiu-jitsu on the mats.

50:49Principles to try to get this accomplished, what I'm aiming to do for this kid. Because if he leaves without doing jiu-jitsu today, he's not coming back. Never. We're going to miss our window. So I walk in the locker room. I show him our beautiful locker rooms like a spa, beautiful school. Go outside. We're passing by the private training room. It's a room about this big, matted from wall to wall, mats on the floor. I open the door. I step in. Clock principle, the right move at the right time. I step on the mats with my feet, bare feet. And I say, hey, Shane, these mats are really, really soft.

51:20You should feel them. Take off your shoes and check this out. He complies. He walks in, steps on. I'm like, how about that? He's like, yeah, it's really soft. I'm like, cool. Mom, come on in. Shut the door. Got him. Wow. I say, mom, have a seat. Shane, lay down in the middle right here. the exact same technique I showed you today. I mounted on him. We're friends now. We're connected. And I'm getting very uncomfortable because I'm going to save this kid's life. That's my mindset. There's nothing that I wasn't willing to do in order to empower and free him from the condition that he's suffering from.

51:58You understand? Like I'll be uncomfortable to save him. So I mount on him, which was again, I don't know what he's going to react. Maybe he's going to crick and scream. I don't know. So I mount on him with the biggest smile on my face and all the love in my heart. and I say, Shane, what would you do if someone was on top? He's like, smile, love. He was like, I'll push you off. I'm like, give it a go. 10, 9, 8, 7, he's trying hard. I'm watching his senses the whole time, verifying that he's, I'm connecting here. I'm making sure he's okay. He's fine. Fine, I can't get out. Okay, cool, let's switch rolls.

52:24I toss him off in one second with the trap and roll. You know the move. Click. He's like, oh man, do it again. I do it again. He can't believe it. I show him second move, third move, fourth move, fifth move, an hour later. We're having the best time. He's doing jiu-jitsu. his mom is crying quietly tears just falling amazing doesn't say a word the whole class and i'm like i could not believe it i get up we shake hands hey let's see you guys on tuesday right in the next class next class it only takes him 15 minutes to get out of the car the third class he comes back half the time he goes into the locker room he throws up comes out ready to rock wow we're getting in there i eventually transitioned him to another one of our certified instructors who guides him for the next several months.

53:07He goes into group classes now with other people practicing. He eventually earns his blue belt in jujitsu, graduates high school, goes to college, lives a normal life, has regular friendships, and is now having a great life. The doctor has said, Henner, I've never seen this type of turnaround for this particular condition, this level of social anxiety. I've never seen it. This is incredible. Congratulations and thank you. And she sent us so many other students since then. That's cool. Then they start in private classes. Then we gradually introduced them. So this is depletion. This is redirection principle, all in the book.

53:44This is connection principle, using every resource we have to connect with them in a way that's meaningful for them. This is the clock principle above all, I believe. Because for me to be in there, not sure what I was going to do with this kid. And then the moment I was on the mat saying, hey, look out for your shoes, come feel this. the right move at the right time will set you free. And that's what happened with Shane. That's a beautiful story, man. On this fateful morning. I love that story, man. That's beautiful. Again, the 32 principles. This is about harnessing the power of jujitsu to succeed in business, relationships, and life.

54:15Make sure you guys get this by Henner Gracie. It's an awesome book and an awesome introduction to just more philosophies about jujitsu and how you can apply them to your life. The last one I want to talk about, again, there's 32 of them. We're going to talk about a few today, but the last one is really the grandmaster principle. Now, what is the grandmaster principle and what does it take for anyone to be a grandmaster of their own life? So let me say this, as I was developing the curriculum of the 32 principles with my brother, we got to the point where we hadn't identified, because we did not invent principles, right?

54:52Principles, gravity always existed. You revealed them. We revealed them and we classified them and we named them and then we put them into a curriculum. So as we're going through this rigorous process of identifying these principles over an extended period of time and trying to create a cohesive curriculum surrounding them, we got to 31. And then I ran out. And I'm thinking to myself, we can't end with 31. It's not an even number. Eight times four is 32. I want this to be a little more encapsulated. I want to be more buttoned up with this. There needs to be one more. And I'm thinking, and literally I'm running dry.

55:28I'm telling you, this is like lots of time spent identifying these 31, you can imagine, and just really identifying them and defining them. And then I'm like, man, I don't know what I'm going to do for 32. And I'm in the shower, literally, and then it freaking hit me. The final principle must be the principle of applying all the principles and constantly evolving their application in your own life. it's the principle of all the principles. And I said, well, then that sounds awesome. What are we going to call it? Let's name it after my grandfather, the grand master principle, right? So we just gave it that name.

56:10This one, we kind of pulled up and pulled out and said, this is what it's going to be. So what it is, is this idea that my grandfather, when he learned as a young boy, as I gave you the introduction and the story of his beginning, my grandfather, after he started modifying these techniques as a young teenager and becoming the kind of the champion of the family, he didn't have a teacher right there was no instructor when he was 1920 he was on his own now he was evolving the art but he was his own teacher but here's the problem for most people they don't give themselves permission to be their own teacher they're always waiting for someone to guide someone to tell someone to instruct and what i've learned through jiu-jitsu it was most pronounced when i got my black belt i've been training for 19 years my whole life right at 19 years old my grandfather awards me my black belt and it was such a surreal moment because at that moment I said wow now I've achieved the belt that I've always dreamt of and all my legendary uncles are and my dad and all the heroes of this family world famous fighters I now have the same belt as them it's black but I feel like there's still so much more to go and then I realized in time thereafter that no one's going to give me all the answers I must become my own teacher to grow into the master that I am meant to be because by being a black belt and knowing that I didn't have all the answers yet then it was like holy cow I thought when I got my black belt I would be done close the book my movie's over I have all the moves and I I'm set it wasn't the case I would go so far to say that's just beginning just the beginning true the black belt is the white belt who never quit there's all these say but really the black belt is when it really does just begin because now you have a grip on the art and the amount of innovation i would say that i've invented more techniques and done more and learned more and and grown more from black belt till now than i did from white to black belt in terms of how much new jiu-jitsu uh exists in my life so there's so much to learn there's so much to invent it's endless so that being said the black belt was permission to become my own teacher.

58:15So the grandmaster principle as we end the book is my very deliberate attempt to empower every reader to become their own teacher, right? I've given you our operating system in a book. I've given you 32 videos to teach you the physical application of these techniques so that they're contextually relevant discussions when we enter the pages of the chapter and we start talking about life and business application. I've set the framework for you to absorb all of these principles and make the jujitsu black belts operating system your own. Whether you've ever done jujitsu or not doesn't matter. You're going to be able to essentially download right through your own study of this book, our operating system.

59:01You get to skip the line, so to speak. Now, at the end of all this, I have two requests in the grandmaster chapter. Number one, trust yourself enough with the material that I've provided to be your own teacher, to make the adjustments on the fly, to create techniques in the middle of nowhere. Like I said, I'm in a situation with Shane that I don't have a move. I've never been there before, but because I had these principles, guess what? The moves, it revealed themselves to me, but I'll tell you this right now. No technique ever revealed itself to me that I didn't first believe was possible, right?

59:36If I believe that Shane was a solvable puzzle I wouldn't have entered the car to begin with right and that's what most people are missing the belief that the answer is out there the belief that if they seek they shall find whether it be through a book through a mentor through a practice of a martial art through the answers are out there whatever you're struggling with someone has dealt with it before now you can pursue that information reconnaissance principle and gather that information or you can trust that it exists put yourself in the trenches and let yourself reveal the answer on your own that's another viable option but you need to have an operating system that is designed for dealing with adversity and that's what i think this book does above everything else the second request as i wrap up the book is please give jiu-jitsu a try because of course as i said in the very bit my number one problem as i said in the beginning 99.9 % of people know jujitsu but have never given it a try.

1:00:37I'm not gonna rest until all of them have given it a try and if I don't succeed I'll die trying. That's my legacy. That's what I want to do here. Right? All of the schools, hundreds of schools we have around the world, a website gracieuniversity.com specifically for people who don't have a school near them. They can learn online from home and every one of our lessons is in order. So you can actually learn all the techniques and actually once you learn the material you can go to one of the schools and test for a belt promotion because all of it's there what you need for each of the milestones as you're climbing through this journey so this website was done with this mindset if you're too scared to go to a school log on to graceyuniversity.com watch the first three four five lessons for free and then once you see them and you go holy cow I could do this then you go find a school and then you go train somewhere and you continue the journey so my goal is to create the avenues through which anyone can be introduced to jiu-jitsu if they have an internet connection or a school near them then there's no excuse go give jiu-jitsu a try now like i said you have to be very selective with who you let teach you in the beginning because injuries are so common yeah um and schools were and the number one criteria that i will just say is if they have a school where beginners brand new students are sparring with other beginners it's a disaster waiting to happen because i don't know enough to keep myself safe which means i panic which means I'm not keeping you safe.

1:01:54So we're both liabilities to each other. And sadly, 98, 99 % of Brazilian jiu-jitsu schools are having beginners spar within a few weeks, if not on the first day. So it's quite a disaster. So for our schools, we don't do that. You're gonna be a beginner for several months. You're gonna be learning all the mechanics of how to move safely, of how to do joint locks, of where you're safe, where you're not, so that when you eventually spar at a higher level, you can do so without hurting yourself or someone else. so that's my my cautionary tale but like i said i want everyone who reads this book by the time they're done to say holy cow i've got the operating system let me go try the art that everyone mark zuckerberg included is falling in love with and now i'm great lewis of school of greatness i'm gonna do it also man next week there you go so weeks i'm in all it took was your first class being done right and you're like okay welcome to jujitsu you're you're okay you're on the other side now and that's how i believe this is there's an entire population of the world but they're split into two groups people who've done jiu-jitsu and people who don't and the people who don't can be karate can be taekwondo can be this and they can even be other grappling arts jiu-jitsu is the one and it's not the one not that there aren't other arts of other grappling arts that are you might have someone that's very proficient and can defeat someone who does jiu-jitsu but back to square one jujitsu the reason jujitsu is the best is because it can do the most for the people with the least physical attributes in the least amount of time there's no other art that can do more for someone with less than jujitsu quote me on that i got it man 32 principles harnessing the power of jujitsu to succeed in business relationships in life make sure you guys get a few copies we'll have all this stuff linked up as well i got two final questions for you um but before i ask those questions henner i appreciate you for demonstrating and again we'll link up the video where henner just destroys me um and shows me how incompetent i am as a human being don't make it sound so bad bro hold on but on the other side of that there was a breakthrough there was a moment of imagine if you learn this of course no just make sure you tell them that too though it's smart though because i was like how do i defend this we'll come back for Nick class.

1:04:08I gotcha. Exactly. Hook. But I would acknowledge you for your commitment and your passion to bring this art and this, really these strategies to the world. You know, I don't know if I've had someone this passionate on the show in probably 10 years. I appreciate that. About what they do. About the mission. Yeah. About the mission. Listen, I was born into this family. I didn't have a choice to start learning. I tried to quit at least 17 times when I was 11. Easily. Too close. You know what I'm saying? Too close. I don't want to go dad okay you're staying home until I get back in 7 hours okay I'll go go to class and you do it you rough it out and you make it happen but the point is I didn't have a choice to be born into this family I started learning as a kid I tried to quit when I was 11, 12 I started teaching at 13 years old once I saw for my first student of my life Robert Mendoza Jr a 5 year old boy who was getting bullied once I saved him changed his life forever And dad, I can't thank you.

1:05:08I'm 13 years old. And the dad is thanking me like I'm like, you know, this holy figure. And I'm like, wow, that's pretty addicting. It's pretty addicting to be the deliverer of freedom, of confidence, of truth, jiu-jitsu, truth. And people coming to you with all kinds of problems and jiu-jitsu being such a massive solution on the mat and off the mat. It's such a unique existence. So I became addicted to the giving aspect. because let's be honest who are the happiest people you know the ones who give the most ones who are in service too yes so i got addicted to the service and the art right i'm in high school and some guy wants to tussle with me and i'm like line them up and i tap out the entire volleyball team 13 guys on wood floor ardwood everyone gets tapped out back to back wow and one day at a volleyball practice when the coach was late for practice one guy wants to wrestle with me i tap him out another guy puts his hand up everyone taps out and then they go tell everyone the whole school and I'm like wow this is pretty cool to have a superpower yeah the point is going through high school with jiu-jitsu it's a different species a different existence so all of these I became addicted in so many different ways and then when I started seeing how these jiu-jitsu principles started to serve me entrepreneurially oh yeah right as a growing jiu-jitsu business and then many other businesses quick flip sleeper hold.com the travel pillow that I invented you start to get addicted to the fact that wow if I applied jiu-jitsu not just on the map but I apply it everywhere.

1:06:32This is crazy. So now it's done so much for me, both as a practitioner, as a disciple of the art, and as a deliverer, a messenger of the art, that all I think is, man, every single person that I touch and I infect with Jiu-Jitsu and I bring into Jiu-Jitsu, their life will forever change because of my enthusiasm, right? The energy or what the world calls the Hen-ergy. energy where do you think it'd be if you were just uh you know not just but if you went through school as maybe an elite athlete of volleyball or swimming or some of the sport and you never did martial arts what do you think it'd be now if you never did martial arts bro that's like asking to strip the hydrogen away from h2o you just can't there's no water without hydrogen do you understand there's no henner without jiu-jitsu it doesn't exist i didn't have a choice and I'm glad I did not because everything good in my life today I attribute to Jiu Jitsu and these principles and their impact personally and professionally so you can't separate what is actually inseparable it fundamentally becomes something different so then we're talking about a different movie, a different book, a different ending I don't even care to know that person I don't even care to know the Henner without Jiu Jitsu because it's just another human being and I could have excelled in many other categories great, as you've done as well but you can't even call him Henner with an R pronounced with an H you couldn't even do that because he's not a member of the Gracie family he's not got this crazy name pronunciation everything falls apart without Jiu Jitsu bro I gotta get more of this Hennergy in my life you know what I'm saying this is a question I ask everyone at the end called the three truths so imagine a hypothetical scenario you live for as long as you want to live in this life and you get to accomplish and create and experience all the beautiful things that you want but for whatever reason it's the last day for you in this life.

1:08:23It'll be 100, 200 years away, whatever it is. And you've got to take all of your messages with you. This book is gone. This interview is gone. Every training program you've ever created, video content, gone. No one has access to you anymore except for three final truths that you get to share with the world. This is all they remember. What would those lessons be or those three truths be if that's all people had? Help enough people get what they want and you can have anything you want. Would be one. A second truth. Whoever manages the distance manages the damage. And the third truth would be, let me talk about advice.

1:09:14Love and trust fully.

1:09:20Period. Because I think that you've never lived life. You've never lived life fully unless you've loved fully and trusted fully. I know many very successful people who have no love in their hearts and no trust in their hearts. And it doesn't matter what you reach, you're alone. And what value is a life of 200 years or less or more if you're alone? Wow. So anytime you have on this earth, do it loving fully and trusting fully in those closest to you. Even if it means you get hurt. Oh man, that's true. You feel me? Even if your risk of getting hurt, that's the definition of courage. Knowing that things might not pan out, but you do it anyways.

1:10:07Yes. Those are great three truths, man. Final question for you. What's your definition of greatness? The progressive realization of a worthy ideal. which I got from someone. Was it Jim Rohn or Zing Ziegler? The definition of greatness, the definition of success, the definition, whatever you set your mind to do that is meaningful for you. If it's shared jujitsu with the world, here we are. I'm doing my thing. If it's shared messages of greatness with the world, this is greatness. If it's be a housewife and a mom, because that's what you dreamt of and that's what you set out to do, that's greatness.

1:10:47There's no categorical right and wrong. It's you are pursuing the path that you set for yourself because you determined that that was the most meaningful existence for yourself. And if you're on that path, that's greatness. The problem is we live in a day and age where how many people are on a path that they just fell into to pay this, to do this, to do that. You know, I got to pay bills. So I'm doing a job that I hate spending eight, 10 hours a day doing something I hate. And then after work, spending an hour going and doing pickleball or handball or football or jujitsu an hour or two a week.

1:11:23My question is, in that situation, what are you doing to turn your passion into your profession? What deliberate steps are you taking so you can shift the balance from an 80-20 to that 20 % becoming the new 80? And maybe there's still some things you have to do that you don't wake up and or excited to do every single day, but the majority of your existence is in a pillar of what you determine to be greatness for yourself. I hope today's episode inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a rundown of today's show with all the important links.

1:12:00And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me as well as ad-free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel on Apple Podcast. If you enjoyed this, please share it with a friend over on social media or text a friend. Leave us a review over on Apple Podcasts and let me know what you learned over on our social media channels at Lewis Howes. I really love hearing the feedback from you and it helps us continue to make the show better. And if you want more inspiration from our world-class guests and content to learn how to improve the quality of your life, then make sure to sign up for the Greatness newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter.

1:12:39And if no one has told you today, I want to remind you that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.