Jon Bon Jovi REVEALS His Only REGRET & Life Lessons as a 24-year-old ROCKSTAR

0:00The industry said you're out of your mind, you're a dead man walking. You're the biggest band in the world right now. You can't fire. You're a big shop manager. Give me a good reason why. The word on the street was, this is career suicide. But the band trusted me, and we did it. I did it. One of the most famous names in rock and roll. It's sold over 130 million albums. Please welcome Jon Bon Jovi. Jon Bon Jovi. Welcome, Bon Jovi. You brought in a mediator, a therapist, a coach, someone to kind of like say, hey, tell everyone how you feel. Oh, it wasn't easy. Nobody was receptive to it. I was receptive to it.

0:38The guys fought it. And then after a couple of sessions of it, we committed to it. Wow. I can absolutely, positively guarantee you will never see me giving 50%. That's out of the question. Don't think for a moment that Richie and David and Tico didn't give everything they had. They gave everything they had, too. Everyone's always looking over the shoulder and they've got that, who's the bigger guy in the room? I gave that up so long ago. I give a f*** about it. And I have very few regrets in my career. One of my few regrets.

1:13Welcome back, everyone, to the School of Greatness. Very excited about our guests. We have the legendary Jon Bon Jovi in the house. Good to see you, sir. Thank you, brother. Thank you so much for being here, my fellow Pisces. Yeah. Arena football lover and so many other things. you have this incredible docuseries that's out right now as as people are watching this and there's so much about it that I didn't realize about you as a human being and your heart and your vision I think everyone sees the accolades the success the platinum you know records that you've sold and the four decade career of hit after hit.

1:54But what they really get to watch when they watch this series is your incredible vision for making all this happen and manifesting this into your life and building and creating it for decade after decade and your beautiful heart. So I want to acknowledge you for your heart because I feel like that love and that passion is what allowed this to come to fruition, this life you've created and the impact that you've had with your music around the world. My fiance, she's Mexican. And I told her I was having you on today. And she was almost in tears because she said when she was a teenager, she bought a CD of yours.

2:31And it was one of the first music that she heard where she started to learn English. Oh. Was because of your music. Right. So you make impact on so many people's lives in so many different ways that you're not even aware of. So I want to acknowledge you for that, John. And there was a moment in, I can't remember if it was episode one or two, because I got to watch the whole thing, where you talk about success and greatness. I don't know if you remember this, but you mentioned about success and you mentioned greatness in almost the same sentence. And you give a definition kind of what they both are for you.

3:05Since this is the School of Greatness, I would love for you to talk about what the difference is between success and greatness for you. Well, I honestly can't remember the instance in the film, especially because it's been filmed over the last couple of years. But I guess my reaction to it would be this.

3:27Anyone can have success. You can write a jingle that becomes a hit song. And for five minutes, that's called success and it's fleeting. or you can strive for greatness, which means you got to do it again and again and again and again and again. And you have to work hard because it just doesn't happen. You know, greatness is something to strive for. And it is given to nobody. even the most gifted of musician or athlete or business leader has to work at it in order to you know strive to achieve greatness that's my opinion yeah do you feel like when did you feel like you were able to reach greatness in your musical career I don't know that I ever felt that way really I think that that's sort of that chip on your shoulder that keeps you going I do think that I've gotten quite good at it.

4:38I think that given the opportunity physically, I can do it with the best of them at this point. But I think with every song, with every song, let alone every album, it's can I do it again, can I do it again, can I do it again, how can I do it better? I don't think you ever think you've achieved greatness. It's just striving. Did you ever feel like when, I think it was the third album you guys had that went like, I don't know, 14 times platinum or whatever it did. It was like all over the world. That's one of the biggest selling records ever, yeah. Slippery When Wet, yeah. Was that the biggest ever of all time?

5:18No, no, no. I mean, for us, it was a huge. But it was thriller. It was like a virgin. It was born in the USA. It was one of those. It was huge. It was massive. And it was everywhere. When you have that big of a hit at that young of an age, I think you're like 24, 25 or somewhere around there. How do you, and it surpasses so many other records or accomplishments of almost every other artist. How do you come with the mind of this isn't my best work and I can keep, you know, reaching this type of success? Or do you think maybe my best work is behind me? No. At 25? No, no, no, no, no. Absolutely not.

5:58if anything I didn't my only regret and I have very few regrets in my career one of my few regrets is that I didn't take a little more time just to enjoy it because you could have should have taken the time to really enjoy it I think that part of the journey of life is that in your 20s when you've got a that chip on your shoulder and there's all kinds of new surprises around every bend. You're not really sure how to navigate this journey. You look to mentors and, you know, in some form or another to sort of guide you and they do the best they can, but it doesn't mean that they had the answers either.

6:44Anyhow, you're on this journey um and all we could think of at least all i could think of was i gotta do this again i gotta make sure that nobody thinks that was a fluke that we can we can do this again we can do it again after that so it was nose to the grind and a year after the slippery tour concluded and it was 240 shows and massive success for the band. We were back on the road with the album New Jersey, which had five more top 10 singles and another 240, 250 shows. One year later, just back to back, just went right back in the ring. You know, there's one part of the docuseries where the band, I think you guys are together for, I don't know, five years in a row, it seems like, with very little time off.

7:37And there's this beautiful journey that you guys created this incredible family and this incredible relationships and brotherhood and team mentality. But then too much of a good thing can turn into a bad thing is kind of what you guys talk about in this series. How did you not allow too much tension to actually break this band apart after so many years of success when there was just more frustration and resentment and egos? is how did you keep it together emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically, when everyone's got more money than they can think of now, when everyone's got more fame and success and their egos are at an all-time high, how did you keep it together?

8:18Well, everyone has their own unique perspective. And everyone's the hero of their own show, right? So I'm sure anyone in the band or the organization will have told you their point of view, and it may differ from mine. But having been the leader, namesake, whatever you want to call me, I'd always had a certain vision and asked others to follow their opinions and their input was very welcomed but obviously somebody had to be the quarterback and so I treated this like a team and I was the quarterback but I knew I couldn't play without a receiver in a line okay so I wasn't um ego driven but I had to have a plan stick to the plan and sink or swim make the decision so when I did see that the burnout was happening after those two back-to-back records um and this was our first foray into that kind of territory because it has happened to me other times in my career.

9:32In this instance, there was a moment in time where I would, in retrospect, blame agents, managers, lawyers because they were supposed to be the mentors that said, we believe in you, take your time, get it right. And they allowed us to keep going to the point of burnout. What I wouldn't allow was it to fall apart because I knew better than to think, wait Wait a minute. Nobody physically harmed each other. Nobody stole money. Nobody stole a girlfriend. Nobody was dead. Nobody was, you know, car crashed. Like, this was burnout. So you go back to team. You go back to, you know, what is it that got us here collectively?

10:13Let everybody go out and gather their thoughts, get new information, bring it back to the fold, which in turn could make us stronger. Mm-hmm. And I really, by that point, went out on a limb because at that point I'd fired the managers, agents, and lawyers and said to the guys, I've got this vision. I believe it still works. And not only do I need you guys to come along, but I'm doing it without the rest of the apparatus now. And they put their faith in that. I mean, there's three things that I've gotten to learn about you through this series that's really inspired me that I feel like you innovated and you led the way with in terms of anyone that I'm aware of in kind of the music industry at this high of a level.

11:01And I'm going to share these three things. One is during that time where I guess the band was kind of in a lot of friction, at least from the story of the documentary, you brought in a mediator, a therapist, a coach, someone to kind of like say, hey, tell everyone how you feel. Let's open up all of the emotions, the frustrations, the pains, the joys, and share it all. And this was what, 30, 20, 30 years ago or something, right? 30 years ago when this wasn't a popular thing to do. 35 years. That was like looked down upon 30 years ago. But you said, I'm going to have the courage to say, we need to bring a coach, an expert, a mediator, a therapist to come in and let everyone express themselves.

11:42Would you say that really helped bringing people back together? Oh, yeah. And boy, was it meant resistance. Really? Oh, yeah. You know, I'd heard about these therapies, especially in alcoholism and mental illness, you know, and where you go to rehab or, you know, you're dealing with issues. But like I said, we didn't have those issues. We had naivete and youth and this rocket ship to success that was confusing because we went from being the children of our parents to the parents of our parents. And the parents of we were now these CEOs. You know, we were now these decision makers. We were now these money makers.

12:27We were the gravy train. You know, life changed for everybody in the organization. In your 20s. In my 20s.

12:39And that's me being, I don't know, I don't want to say a visionary, but a different thinker. I thought differently. I just always thought differently. The way I got a record deal. Nobody gets a record deal the way I got a record deal. I wouldn't knock them into DJ's booths. Right now, we think that there's millions of people who are going to watch this interview, which is nothing but ego but in truth it just could be you and I and nobody might ever may ever see this or hear this right and we don't know the loneliest man in the music business was a DJ talking to no one preaching the gospel of music and I said that man loves music more than anyone I know I'm gonna go knock on his window and play him a song it was the same kind of visions I've throughout the process here where I said, self-management.

13:29The industry said, you're out of your mind. You're a dead man walking. You're the biggest band in the world right now. You can't fire your big-shot manager. I said, why? And I wasn't being egomaniacal. I said, why? Give me a good reason why. There wasn't a good reason why. And from 1991 to 2016, it's a lot of commission checks I didn't pay anybody. Mm-hmm. You know, but the band trusted me and we did it. I did it. I built Bon Jovi Mac. That's the second thing that I was going to talk about. But the therapist, Lou Cox, he come in and he had nothing to win or lose. He wasn't on anyone's salaries.

14:11He wasn't on the payroll. He wasn't even in the music business. Wow. What was the one thing that he taught you through that experience about mediation, therapy, communication? Well, a little silly elevator bumper stickers like everyone's the star of their own show. It's five different opinions in this story. It's five different points of view. But it was about listening in order to learn. It was about giving the floor to others when necessary. It was about being a shoulder to lean on when somebody needed that shoulder to lean on. There was a lot of that. There was no...

15:01It was all based in truths. It was looking into someone's eye and saying, I love you, and meaning it. Wow. Understanding what the words meant. Not just, oh, we're performing on this stage together. hey dude i was never a dude we weren't dude i wasn't interested in that i was interested in cutting to a deeper place you know our music got lumped into a genre of music because of we when we came up and the kind of stuff you know that i was 21 and 25 i look like every kid in the mall that's the way the kids looked in the mall yeah so we were thrust into that but that's not who I was. It was just we were put into that.

15:48But you were, I mean, again, this is the thing that surprises me. You're in this is what, the late 80s, early 90s, right? Mid 80s. Mid 80s. 86, 87, 88. But when the therapy session. Oh, that's 90. Yeah, 90, 91. Yeah. 90, 91. Yeah. It's what, five to seven of you guys in a room together. Yeah. And you're talking about love. And you're talking about your emotions. And you're talking, I love you. And you're looking in each other's eyes. And you're being vulnerable. When I grew up in the 80s and 90s, you weren't allowed to do that stuff. So I'm saying you innovated this ability to, like, how were all of you able to be so receptive to connect openly, lovingly, vulnerably?

16:26Oh, it wasn't easy. Nobody was receptive to it. I was receptive to it. The guys fought it. And then after a couple of sessions of it, they, you know, had their private time with Lou. And then they would come back into group. and we committed to it. Wow. We committed to it. How many sessions did you guys all do together? Let's just put it this way. Over the course of time, it started in 90, and I was talking to Lou a year ago. It's just amazing. So I would still touch base with them over time. Yeah, we needed them anytime. How important was it for you to tap into your relationship skills and your emotional skills, you know, over your singing and songwriting skills in order to be successful as a group and as a band?

17:24I just looked at it like a family is always going to have its issues. A team is always going to have their issues. but having been a sports fan I could see the inner workings of a team and think I could see that the ego is is is prohibiting them from winning championships yeah and that a family can't get away from each other you know because of blood but they could for they could have nothing more than a common last name so there had to be a way to take the strength of a name and the strength of a team and take the best of those things and and maximize them so you know if it's based in truth you can get over ego wow it worked for me that's incredible and it sounds like if you didn't allow if everyone didn't join in that process you guys want to be where you are well if somebody could have quit easily yeah it sure would have been easier way for somebody to quit.

18:30But nobody ever quit the band until Richie, you know, in 2013, but that's much later. Right. But no, no, everybody was committed. It's incredible, man. So that's cool. So I love, you know, one of three things that I really think you innovated. The second thing you mentioned it, 1990, you're 29, you're 30 years old and you say, okay, everyone in the music industry has a manager or has agents and all these different things. I'm going to do it differently. Yeah. You hear about that now of like independent artists and starting their own thing and launching their music through the internet. But in 1990, like that never happened.

19:09So you really innovated and led this way for artists 30 years before they started doing it. What was the biggest challenge you had to overcome in starting your own management company, navigating the landscape of ticketing and venues and commissions. What happened was we let go of the old agent, got a new one. So it wasn't that I didn't have, and we got a different one. Right. The manager, God bless him, we're still friendly, but he said it was about him. We went, no, it's definitely not about you. And then you have to think, what does he bring that is so unique? And granted, in that first chapter of my career, I learned a lot.

19:56And it was great. But when it was time to move on, I was glad that it was time to move on. And the word on the street was, this is career suicide. But I had an incredible representative, and I use that word endearingly. It was way more than a lawyer. He was the godfather to my daughter. He was my father and my best friend and my brother all rolled into one. He never, ever, you know, took advantage of me. He represented, he taught me everything I know about business. Wow. And he's passed, he had frontal lobe dimension. He's passed about seven, eight, nine years ago now. There's a huge black hole in my life because he's not in it any longer.

20:48But he's what made me learn everything that I know now. And in turn, also made me realize we didn't need all that glitz and glamour. You know, we had an amazing right hand in a guy named Paul Corzelius, who was doing the day-to-day in the office. Jerry was doing all the paperwork, and I was making all the decisions. We could do this. Right. And we did it in a big way. We had the biggest tour in the world three times in that period. I had six number one albums. I had six number ones. It's like... Crushing it. Yeah, it's incredible. But how did you have the courage to do that when no one else had done it?

21:33I had met with a half a dozen managers. I remember at the time, meeting with managers again and going through that process and just not clicking with any of them. There was none of them that moved me. And I needed somebody that was going to dedicate their life to this the way that we dedicated our lives to it. And I wasn't getting that. Wow. So I just, why do it ourselves? Wow. It's beautiful. The third thing that I feel like you've really innovated in this industry of music and rock star and fame and all these different things is you got married at the peak. I think you were in your late 20s, right?

22:1628, 29 when you got married to a high school sweetheart. Yeah. And for me, I don't know how you're on the road constantly with that much fame, that much success, that much money, that much options, let's say, and you're able to enter a marriage and have a, what looks like on the outside, a healthy relationship for decades. 35 years. That's incredible. So I feel like you've innovated this in a space where - No, I can't take that credit. Well, I feel like, you know, not many people - It's fewer and far between. Bono's married is long. Bruce is married almost as long. Very few. How were you able to have a healthy, successful, thriving marriage and relationship while all the other ego stuff and fame and just travel and success?

23:01That one was easy. That didn't take a genius. We grew together. Wow. We went to high school together. Yeah. So we came through this whole rollercoaster ride together. So no matter my highs or my lows, she's seen them. Wow. And that was integral. She didn't meet me at the pinnacle of my successes or the low points in my career and pick me up out of a gutter somewhere. So we grew up in the same hometown with the same kind of values, same kind of family background, middle-class upbringing. She saw you doing cover band stuff back then. Sure, in high school. You know what I mean? So that one I just was, thank God, fortunate enough to get right the first time.

23:42And we held on. You know, it wasn't, we never really had any kind of difficulty. Really? It knocked what it's been 35 years. What do you think is the key? And I'm not sure if anyone asked you about relationship or marriage, you know, advice ever, but what would you say are the three keys to having a long-term successful relationship while thriving at the top of your career as well? I don't know. I mean, the relationship thing, like I said, is mutual respect. Okay. admiration and mutual respect is at the top of this for me. To be a good listener and know it's not all about me. It's about we. You know, it's about both of us.

24:22It's about all of us. It's about the family dynamic. So, of course, I'm always going to be the, you know, the narcissist lead singer in the house. But there's no platinum records hanging in my house. You know, I mean, like we left that long, long, long time ago in our home. So admiration, mutual admiration, society of being a good listener, growing together. You know, just finding her in a way that, like, I get excited in the morning when I see her every single day. 35 years later. I get excited every single day. What's the thing you love about her the most? That she absolutely knows that she loves me, like with all of her heart.

25:12Wow. You know, I mean, there's just, there's no question, there's no doubt. There's not even a glimmer of doubt. There's not even a hint of a glimmer of doubt that this is it. There is no, that's it. Wow. Yeah, I got this one right. When you're coming off stage in front of 80 ,000 people and you're the man and you're selling out the biggest tour in history, back to back, and people are screaming every word and chanting your name, and then you go home and someone's upset at you or they want you to listen to them, how do you get over your ego of being Jon Bon Jovi and saying, I want to be a great partner?

25:48It might take a minute to walk it off, you know, when you're on the road for a long time, especially in those younger years when we would be on the road so long that you could carry the lifestyle home. But I haven't even seen that guy in a long time. Wow. So it's it's a it's of no interest to me to even see that guy. It really isn't. Boy, I'm really trying to be honest with you, because even if it was 10 or 15 years ago when we were just still, you know, a little more. wild and I don't mean this in it with like we're subdued now, but it's just in a little more ego driven way. Even that wasn't a big deal.

26:40Really? Yeah. Where did you learn that though? Did your parents teach you this? I think it's our upbringing. It's who we are, where we come from, what we did. I was never a big drug guy. I was never the big drinking guy. I was never the big, you know, one thing we learned on this journey we're doing this interview right now in Los Angeles, California. I had a house out here for years on the beach in Malibu with all the beautiful people. And the first thing after owning that house for four or five years was we got to sell this house. Why? We got to get the hell out of here. This is not conducive to a great relationship and a great life and a great career and a great grounded who we are, what we are, where we come from.

27:30Wow. And it was the same thing when we went home and wrote Slippery When Wet. It was like we are being lumped in with these kind of bands that it's not our thing. And I was just like, I don't want to be a part of this scene. This is not who we are. It's not who I am. I don't give a. Right. Go back home. Take that picture in the inner sleeve in our driveway. you know in our cars you know with blue jeans and t-shirts on and sell that malibu house and you come out here and everyone's always looking over the shoulder and they've got that who's the bigger guy in the room who can i go and work who can i get something from i gave that up so long ago i give a about it i think i'm not impressed you know i don't give off it's just that that that shallow will ruin you and i know grown men who still are playing that game wow you know and it's just sad yeah and shallow what do you wish everyone knew about money fame and success money doesn't make you smart it just makes you rich doesn't make you happy does not make you happy now can it pay for the bills so you can get you know the doctor and the insurance and those things, it solves some problems, but absolutely does not make you happy and it doesn't make you smart.

28:56It just makes you wealthy. What do you wish people knew about fame and accomplishments? Accomplishments are all fabulous, especially if you worked hard for them And, you know, you have a, you deserve the opportunity to, to accept the accolade in and of the moment and enjoy it. And then, you know, then you, you move on from it and don't measure who and what you are based on any kind of championship ring. Right. It's not your identity. It is not who you are. It's just what you do. Mm. And I, and I, I, too, I live by that credo. it's not who I am it's just what I do but I've met many a billionaire who they're not smart because you know they're just they're missing out on the good things in life you know on being a part of their community on touching the lives of their wives and their children on sleeping on their pillow at night knowing that they did something good instead of for a buck.

30:08Yeah. And what do you wish people knew about fame? It's really an interesting question to ask at this juncture, right? It's 2024, and I remember having a conversation with my kids maybe 10, 12, 15 years ago. And them telling me about the internet and ways to make money. And I would say, but you got to write a song to make money. You have to learn how to act. You know, we're talking about... I'm like a skill set. A skill, yeah, yeah. You know, referencing the art. We have to be an athlete and put in the 10 ,000 hours. Uh-huh. I've been proven wrong, obviously, now, right? There's a whole world of people making a buck, and that is very confusing for me and my generation.