Mastering Your Emotions: Exploring Therapy's Transformative Power [BONUS EPISODE Presented By BetterHelp]

0:00This episode was sponsored by BetterHelp Online Therapy. Big thanks to Hasoo Joe, licensed therapist and head of clinical operations at BetterHelp. Hasu Joe is not my actual therapist, and we are not in a therapist-client relationship. Also, just because you might hear something on the show that sounds similar to what you're experiencing, beware of self-diagnosis. You'll want to find a qualified professional to assess and explore diagnosis if that's important to you. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur, and each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness.

0:44Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

0:52When I really do, I've done therapy off and on for the last, I don't know, 10 years, but when I really dove in over the last few years, it created a sense of peace and freedom and clarity that I've never had in my life. And it's continually showing up for me. That doesn't mean I don't have stressful moments and anxious thoughts and feelings and overwhelm and pressure in my life. But I have these tools. And I have a baseline understanding that I am a good person, and I don't need to beat myself up anymore. And I don't need to hate myself. And I don't need to say nasty things to me. Because those things don't support me.

1:31And they don't support the people around me and they don't support my dreams. When I did that, you know, I remember when I got congruency, I wrote this book in literally like a few months. It's something I was thinking about for years, but I didn't have the, the piece inside to really create it because I just felt like something was off still. And, and it helped me again, become a New York time bestseller and impact a lot of lives and do good things in the world with this message. But I wouldn't be able to do that without therapy and without that support. So if people are on the fence about, you know, maybe I've never tried it before, or maybe I don't know if this is for me, what is, who is online therapy for?

2:16And what's a good way they can get started a little bit if they feel maybe scary of going all the way in? Who is it for? I mean, it can be for anybody. I do think that even my thinking about who it's appropriate for and who it's not has shifted quite a lot because of the past few years. You know, you mentioned earlier that I've been with BetterHelp for almost six years. That means pre-COVID times, pre-pandemic times, I was with this company that was doing something at the time that was very strange. strange. A lot of providers in the field were very resistant and skeptical about the idea of trying to do something so intimate through this, like, you know, through a computer or through your phone or something like that.

3:04And at the time, I had a lot more hangups around, like, who should be using it, who shouldn't. But I think we've all learned through the past few years that digitally and digital connection creates possibilities for so many things. And even research in the field has shifted to look at online therapy as a really legitimate resource for a lot of people encountering pretty severe mental illness. But having said that, if you are a person out there and you're having any kind of anxiety, stress, worry, have a low mood sometimes, you're having issues in any of your relationships. You can't focus at work.

3:43You can't sleep because who knows? You know, you just have so much stress. You are noticing that just like life feels drab or you're stuck in a rut. Like all of these things are good and interesting reasons to explore something further and go deeper into yourself. I think I've also grown a much larger appreciation of having time to be introspective and realizing that a lot of us just didn't really do that. And the pandemic really changed that for a lot of people because we were forced to think inward because the outward distractions that we often put ourselves in were no longer available to us.

4:24So we were left with just the walls of our home and what's inside of it. And even deeper than the walls of our home is the walls of ourselves and trying to break some of that stuff that we had built up to attempt to do something and realizing it wasn't really working out when we couldn't go out to see friends, we couldn't enjoy activities. So there's a long-winded way to say that, you know, therapy, online therapy can be for anybody. If you're looking for increased insight, if you're looking for symptom relief because something is distressing to you, or if you're just somebody that needs somebody to talk to and who isn't one of those people, then it's certainly a good option to explore.

5:11And if you're on the fence and if you're really unsure, you don't know about taking a dive into this stuff, you can do some research. You know, if you have access to the internet, then you can start doing some Googling about what their pee is. You can even start doing some searching on your specific stuff, you know, like putting in like, I'm having trouble sleeping, My appetite has changed a little bit. What kind of therapy might be helpful for me? There's going to be a ton of stuff out there now. So starting with some research. You can also reach out to therapists that you're curious about and have consultation calls.

5:48With BetterHelp, you can reach out to our team directly. We have a contact form on the website. You can email directly contact at betterhelp.com. Our teams are here to answer questions, help you figure out whether this is the right option for you. And we can try to even point you in the direction if you figure that BetterHelp is not the right direction for you. We just want to make sure that people have some sense of being able to find something. It can be very overwhelming to know where to start. And you can just start on Google, really. It's just about searching something. Well, also, you know, I've been a big fan of BetterHelp and, you know, the partnership that we have.

6:25And I'm just a big believer in therapy and making therapy as accessible as possible. and that's why I think online therapy is powerful because you can do it right from your phone or on zoom or things like that and it's much more convenient and I think there's something to being said for doing it in the convenience of your own home where you feel safe you feel private where you save time not at the drive somewhere and you can really relax in your space not having to go into someone else's space which I think is really powerful and we've got an amazing partnership. We've been partnering with BetterHelp for, you know, many years now.

6:59And my audience loves it. And if you guys are interested, if you haven't signed up yet, you get 10 % off the first month. If you go to betterhelp.com slash Lewis, that's L-E-W-I-S. So make sure you guys check that out. You can ask questions on there. There'll be a contact form on there. There'll be more things you can research at betterhelp.com slash Lewis as well. And if you use that link, you'll get 10 % off your first month. And Hesu, I wanted to ask you a few more questions, if that's okay. We asked our audience to send in some of their biggest challenges, their biggest problems, things they're going through right now.

7:36If you can briefly share, and then we can kind of have a dialogue about each one, if you're open to that as well. And this is, this is a question, And these are anonymous, but this is a question regarding relationships. And this person says, I am four years post-divorce. I've done the work. I am doing the healing. I am really working on myself. I finally feel like I am in this amazing, healthy state mentally and physically, really ready for a committed relationship. Yet I still keep attracting men who are not ready for a relationship. Any advice? Do you have any advice on why someone may be attracting others who are not ready for a relationship or maybe non-committed?

8:28Ooh, this is a juicy one. Let's go. Because my answer, anonymous listener, might not be super easy to hear. whenever I hear somebody saying like, I keep attracting this kind of person or somehow everybody I meet is so and so and so like the common denominator in all of this is you, dear listener. So, you know, it's I keep attracting. So what are you doing to attract this particular kind of person? You said that you've done all the work. You said that you've done all the healing, but there's something about you that you're unaware of that's attracting this particular type of man. So it could be that your journey to healing is still in progress, and that's fine.

9:19You know, we kind of already riffed about this. Healing, alignment, self-exploration, this is an ongoing thing, I think, for all of our lives, really, if people are open to that. So I think there's a level of self-exploration to be done still to figure out what you might be doing or how you're presenting into the world that's attracting this kind of man. I see coming in hot with the reality. In all the previous relationships that I was in that didn't work out, I was the common denominator. And I had to look at myself and say, why am I attracting these types of relationships. And I can't point the finger anywhere else but at myself.

10:04And so there's no man to blame here. You're attracting these types. I mean, you're going to attract a lot of people in general. But if you're allowing yourself to start dating and start having these conversations with certain people who are not committed, then you have to ask yourself, why is that happening? Why am I taking these steps that are engaging with certain men who are maybe not committed or not open to commitment at this time. And I think that goes back to you because when you are, when you are loving your life, when you are full of joy and you feel free, you're going to attract a lot of people.

10:39I mean, people are going to want to be around you. People want to be around fun, loving, caring, joyful human beings. That is a magnet to all people. Now it's you being discerning of saying, okay, where is someone else? Who's a great match for me? Who is someone that is aligned with me, as opposed to someone that I'm going to have a project and try to help and help coach and help overcome some challenge. And again, that typically comes from some type of wound that we still get to heal within us. So again, if you're looking for a clearer direction in your life, if you're looking for some healing, if you're looking for just more joy and freedom and peace of mind, then I encourage you to go to betterhelp.com slash Lewis.

11:19Again, you get 10 % off the first month when you do that. So you can try it for a month and explore it, check it out. You can find a therapist and you can switch, I believe at any time. So if you're feeling like, ah, maybe this isn't working for me, let me try someone different. You can do that as well over at BetterHelp. They've got, again, online support. So if you have any questions, you can ask them questions right on the website. Again, betterhelp.com slash Lewis. I hope today's episode inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a rundown of today's show with all the important links.

11:52And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me, as well as ad free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our greatness plus channel on Apple podcast. If you enjoyed this, please share it with a friend over on social media or text a friend, leave us a review over on Apple podcast, and let me know what you learned over on our social media channels at Lewis house. I really love hearing the feedback from you and it helps us continue to make the show better. And if you want more inspiration from our world-class guests and content to learn how to improve the quality of your life, then make sure to sign up for the Greatness newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter.

12:31And if no one has told you today, I want to remind you that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.