Matthew McConaughey’s 6 Truths To Get What You Want In Life EP 1422

30:40Or do you feel like, you know, being the lone wolf, you had its time and its place. I think you had its time and its place. I'm not arrogant enough to say, oh, if I go back and change time. I mean, I've thought about that. I was with and dated seriously some wonderful women before I met Camilla. I think it wasn't the time for me and it wasn't the time for them for us to take it further, to take it as far as, say, getting married or something. But, you know, I often wonder what if I felt like it was time that I never did. What if I did? You know, do we meet the right person sometimes but it's just not the time for us?

31:23Interesting. do we do or is it it's the two play it's gotta be the right person in the right time for each person but i i know i i cannot go back you know going forward to mystery looking back to science when i connect the dots i don't dare to go back though if i changed 10 years earlier i'm thinking about who i was dating if we got married i mean who knows i i don't think i don't think it would have been the same realization 10 years earlier. I was a different man. I was seeing the world differently. And we'll never know, but I think it was the right time for me when this happened. And my single years were the right amount of time for me when I was there.

32:05And those relationships before that that ultimately ended, that was the right time for them to end. So how old were you when you met your wife? 16, 53, 40, 37. 37. So when you were 37, before the moment you met her, which I think you met her at a bar on Sunset. Club on Sunset. Saucer's Club on Sunset. Club. Let's call it that morning. Don't go to many clubs. God, I went to the club this night. Yeah, I was kidding. Let's call it that morning or that season right before you met her. What was it that made you feel loved then? Yep. And what is it today that makes you feel the most loved today? Okay.

32:47What does it make me feel the most loved before? Yes. Okay. When I was spiritually strong. And look, I was, I had some relationships that were loving relationships that, or I loved the woman she loved and cared for me. And those were real. Yes. I also had a season where it was just affairs it wasn't about love it was lust it was fun and it was it was healthily it was a healthy fun transaction and we laughed and kept it light and that was all it was ever gonna be and we're not even you know and that was okay too I am happy to say that through most most of that I was able to keep someone spiritually strong really um how did you say it had no it didn't really have trouble sleeping alone in my own bed because i've had those times i think we all have if we've had this single life where there's times where you're you're rolling like that especially if it's like affairs and flirt popping around here and there boy all of a sudden you end up in bed alone you can't sleep and you're like whoa wait a minute and now I'm the company I can't stand being with, if it's only me, that would always be a trigger for me.

34:08Like, you better bend a knee and go. Go inward. Catch your breath and go inward here. So. So what made you feel the most love before you met her? What was it? I mean. Was it the success or the fame? No, I knew. Was it the, you know. No, it wasn't the chase and catch. I knew what that was. That always felt like a stop and not a stay. To me, it was a season. I understood it to be a season. And I gave myself freedom and license to have that season as healthily as I could. I don't think I was any more shallow. I didn't think, oh, this is all there is. I did have a dream where I thought, where I was 80 and 88 year old bachelor, but had a lot of children.

35:12You did? Yeah. And it wasn't a nightmare. 88 year old bachelor? And you had a lot of children. And that wasn't a nightmare? Sitting on a porch. And it wasn't a nightmare. Really? And I woke up from that dream, not going, yippee, that's what I'll do. I did wake up with it going, that's possible. And as soon as I said, that's possible, I did quit looking so hard. And when I quit looking for her so hard, that's what you came. Because before that, I will say, in my thought of, I do want to find someone to fall in love with and start a family. I mean, every red light, bro. LA. possible possible produce section you know what i mean possible boss every you know you just go to class whole foods you know everywhere and i was looking i was leaning in leaning in and said well maybe that could work like that script well maybe that could work you know um and then when i had that dream it did it was like oh on a spiritual sense i was like well you might end up being a bachelor and if you've got spiritually if you're spiritually strong your relationship with god's wrong with you.

36:31That's okay. It didn't make me go, that's what I want to do. But just saying, that could be a reality for you. Let me exhale. And I quit looking everywhere. I quit looking in the first second was like, and what happens when you do that? You become more attractive. You allow yourself to be loved. You allow yourself to see someone who actually you might love. But mainly you allow yourself to be someone that can be loved. And you're not selling, You're not soliciting yourself. You're not in a rush about anything. You're going to meet somebody. You also, what you look at, you want to see how they move.

37:05How far back are their shoulders? How do they talk? What do they say in between the lines? Not what they say. What do they say in between the lines? And I remember when I saw Camilla walk across the club that night, it was the way she moved. I saw history. I saw dignity. I saw somebody that was not for sale. I saw somebody that didn't need, that when I called her over, was not happy to meet me, but wasn't impressed with my vocation. And she knew who I was. Wasn't impressed with that. She was about a lot more than that. So my eyes were open to seeing what I wanted and needed. And I also was able to, in that moment, completely be myself.

37:47Not oversell myself. not undersell myself did you feel like you needed to oversell yourself before then even though you had all the success and the fame and the hits and the money I think when it's a sped out process especially if you're like if it's more of a string of short term relationships it's not overselling it's just like let's skip a lot of the real stuff Let's skip a lot of the, you know what I mean? I don't want to take that. Come on. We're just here. We're laughing. We're having a good time. You know what I mean? And that's all we're both in this for. So, you know. So you speed up the process a little bit.

38:34So I don't know. When you say, what did I love? It wasn't my fame. Did I feel more loved if my movie did well? And more people came up and was like, that was great? Sure. Sure. but that was never my top source of affirmation of feeling loved did I feel less loved? movie bombed or people were like sure but that was never my the source of my lack of confidence or lack of significance it was spiritual and then I always had family at this time being my brothers and my mom and stuff there was always that that I knew It was 100 % reliable. But mainly I would say spiritual. And then your follow-up question to what makes you feel more loved now.

39:21When do you feel the most loved now? Oh, the goodnight group hug with my three kids and my wife. After we just talked about what our day was like, what we're looking forward to tomorrow. And we've had a few fun disagreements. And somebody said something real honest that you didn't have the courage to say maybe a week before. and for the first time noticed that if they shared that they weren't going to get in trouble that they were just going and to see them grow and going you got the courage me and then to feel like a dad me and your mother are giving you a place to feel like you can go I did like her and my heart hurts because she doesn't like me for a child to be able to say that to you it's like okay we're doing something right there we go that's a feeling of love to have an honest talk not just about all of the happy times but about the stuff that sucks in the kids lives as well and even from my life to share it and it not be like done to the dog right to be like yeah we're going through this and one thing we know is we're going through it together mmm that that's beautiful that's beautiful one of the things that you talked about it in the book in the last couple pages was this list of goals that you wrote down.

40:41One of them. Isn't that wild? 10 goals in life. 1992. 1992. One of them, becoming a father. And number two, finding and keeping the woman for me. The woman for me. Yep. And you got 10 of them. I'm curious, how important is it to write down our visions, our dreams, our goals in order to manifest what we want in our lives? Because this whole book is a journal of you writing down everything. Yeah. And all 10 of these, you've accomplished all of them. And you're still accomplishing and living into them. So how important is it to write down our dreams, our goals, our values in order to manifest and attract them?

41:20I think it's a lot more important than we give it credit for. Look, writing things down, it seems like this old-fashioned sort of archaic things. Type it. It's on the screen. Put it on the Word doc. Save it. Put it in a folder. It can be lost back there. to actually write it with the hand. Is it a different kind of objectivity you get? Because it's come out of you, you've put it down, now you're looking at it. It's outside of you. It's freed up now. It's alive. It's moving. Now, more so than having that goal by your bedside every night, which can be good, but to write it down, if you're writing down true goals, they become written in your lineage.

42:08They become written in your body. Whether you know it or not. In your subconscious. It's a way to get it into your subconscious. To write it down. Now it's out of me. It's on a page. I'm objectifying it now. I'm looking at it. So now I'm having a dialogue where before it was just Socratic. But now I'm having a dialogue and it starts to reciprocate. Those 10 goals, I wrote those down in the top bunk in the Dell house. University of Texas, 1992. My roommate was Monty Wills. I remember the night I wrote them down. Wow. I never looked at them again. Huh. I found those in writing this book and found out that, oh my gosh, all 10 you actually did and four you're still doing.

42:46That's crazy. I never looked at them again. 30 years later you found them. Yeah. That's crazy. But they all happened. They all happened. I don't think they happen if I don't write them down. I don't think. They do. So, that practice of writing something down that you into or that you want or that you yearn for and to add to it or subtract from it along the way if you want to or just write it down fold it up tuck it away so you can find it 30 years later when you go share a journal or write something about like I did I don't think it happens but then just go back and see the invisible contract I made with myself gosh I love that because obviously I did because I mean I those 10 people go you've done all 10 I said well no I'm in the middle I'm still I have to make I'm still maintaining for but I have engaged some of them I've just done but I have engaged I am in full engagement with all of them and well it's an invisible contract until it becomes a physical written contract right you know but it's with yourself I guess it becomes there's an invisible way it becomes subconsciously non-negotiable with yourself.

44:00And here's the interesting thing on this. Is this the exact image or is this a recreated image? No, that's it. This is a photo of it. You signed it. Yeah. And that's what I think is actually really important because you did create a contract with self. Right. You signed the goals at the bottom. You have 10 goals in life, 9-1-92. And at the bottom, you signed it. And I think that's really important in creating this contract with self is putting your name on something that you write down from the ideas in your mind into paper so that you can actualize this in life and i think that's what's beautiful and you were like what 20 years old when you do this 2021 and folks anyone who thinks so that sounds like you know mike tyson talking about mike tyson when he's himself talking to the third person do it don't worry sign your stuff to yourself you know what i mean right just write to yourself and sign it it's a great practice to do You are then getting a third-person objective view of yourself.

44:59So you will have a better chance of subjectively creating those and activating those things and having them happen. One of the things in here, number seven, stay close to mom and family. I know there was a period, I think you said six or eight years, where you pulled away from your mom. I think you're still close with your brother, but you pulled back because she was kind of loving the fame. and it was making it about her as opposed to supporting her son. So that was something that kind of came and went and you danced with. But now it seems like you guys are in a great place. She's living with us four years now.

45:32She's 91. And then also you had number eight win an Oscar for the best actor. How do you at 20, 21, write down a goal of winning an Oscar? And I wasn't even acting at that time. That's nuts. You didn't even do the first movie yet? No. Why did that come in your mind? Why was that even a thought? a dream, a goal. So this is, I believe, right after I had, soon after I had called my father to say, I don't want to go to law school anymore. I want to go to film school. Now, looking back. And he said a great line back to you. He said a great line. He said, don't half-ass it. Don't half-ass it. Yeah. Which was three or whatever, four or however many words is the best words I've ever heard from the man who I ultimately really wanted my ultimate approval from.

46:15And he didn't give me, he gave me a lot more than approval with that line. He gave me a kick in the backside. privilege, freedom, responsibility, kick, go do it. And I suppose, I know consciously, but probably subconsciously too, there's things that I've done where I wanted to let something slide and those words came to my mind. I was like, uh-uh, no way. Uh-uh, that'd be half-assin' it. So those words have lived with me.

46:43I decided I want to go to film school. And I went back to these journals and I find something like that. I was like, dude, you always wanted to be an actor. Oh, interesting. Like, you just wouldn't admit it. And I remember always being sheepish about someone going like, well, you just want to, why don't you perform? I don't know. Something about it in my head felt fraudulent then. Something about being behind the camera to go to director school, learning story felt like, well, that's my, I'll sneak in the back door to the acting, right? That's the better way. and I'm glad I went that path but I think I wanted to and I'm talking to my buddy Rob Bendler who I bring up often in this book about it he was like yeah you were wanting to he reminded me of talks we'd have late night and he was already at NYU film school he was like reminding me yeah you were already wanting to at this time when you first went to film school so I write that down to myself I'm not afraid to write it down to myself but I'm afraid to say anything like that out loud I'm not afraid to even say I'm interested in going into acting at this point.

47:51Wow. But yet, I write down, I want to win an Oscar for Best Actor. That's crazy. Wow. So when you saw this paper, you had already won these goals. For the first time after, I guess, close to 30 years, you'd won it, I think, six, seven years prior to that. Yeah. What did that feel like when you read this and you saw win an Oscar for Best Actor? I was like, ah, you can't get out of here. Camilla, check this out. Are you kidding me? Wow. And then I went right back to the night. I remember sitting in the top bunk. We'd just come from the arcade, me and Monty Wills, our roommate, he was in the bottom bunk.

48:36I was in the top bunk. Like a Tuesday night. I've been journaling. I wrote in this little journal. I remember.

48:47that night. Other people were actually going out for a later... We'd been out, kind of party, and other people went to the next party. And I decided to come home and sort of mine. I love the top bunk. I compressed my teeth, went out, put them in shorts, kind of bed, kind of cover, sat up there and had a little window right here and had a little diary on a little window seal with a pen. Bunk bed. Yeah. That we made. We made these bunk beds. We were the first bunk beds in the Del House. And pulled over and I wrote it. I think I even performed with a headlamp. They even had headlamps. I loved headlamps.

49:21Still do love headlamps. And I'd written that and I wrote that down. Wow. Curious. If you didn't create this contract for yourself, do you think you would have accomplished all 10 of these goals and dreams for your life? Or would some of them maybe fall through the cracks because you didn't create that, turn the invisible contract into a physical written contract and make it real? I don't know. I mean, I have to believe that writing them down subconsciously led to me, actually. I knew what they were. I couldn't recite them to you because I never looked at them again. But I knew what they were.

49:58And it tells me I had good goals because actually they were true ones. I mean, we all write down goals that we go like, later on, no, you were bullshitting yourself. You were just writing down what you think someone wanted you to say. and I and this particular night I obviously wrote things down that were had real I mean I told my future in a way wow I don't trust me when I write every time I put a pen to paper I'm not I batted a thousand on this one I went ten for ten I don't go ten for ten all the time you know what I mean but writing down the right ones if I and even without looking at it I don't I doubt I would have pulled these things off um How do we learn to listen to the true highest version of ourselves and write the right goals and follow that path?

50:51Yeah. As opposed to chasing the stuff that leads to a lot of red lights. Yeah. And actually create a lane of green lights for us. Yeah. Obviously, you had obstacles to overcome on this journey, and that's part of the human condition, but you actualized all these. how do we how did how did you you know you were listening to yourself and you authentically said become a father finally keep the woman from me keep my relationship with god and chase my best self as your first four you didn't say become a billionaire you know have right have 20 mansions have three you know maseratis yeah yeah yeah yeah which is what you think a 20 year old might i mean that's probably what i was thinking when i was 20 you know it's like how did you think about these you know the first four and the sixth one take more risks it's like stay close to mom and family that number eight was a more material thing win an oscar it wasn't win an oscar first right right um we gotta ask yourself what we we all i think we all agree we all want more we have dreams we have goals we gotta ask yourself first more what and that starts i think by going answering that question what do i value the most and so look at the things that you already got in your holster that you value because you don't want to be reckless with those things and cast them off and let all the weeds grow around those then all of a sudden you can't even recognize that garden so i think that the first things were about taking care of things that i that i value they were very personal they would take care of myself They would take care of my mom, take care of the family, take care of my relationship with God.

52:32They were very, very, very personal things to me that I knew and believed would be lifelong maintenance journeys. And that things that I believed at that time that, no, taking care of those is never going to go out of style for you, bud. Pick out the things that are not the fads because we'll write things down. Those three Maseratis, hey, man, you get 20 years from now, you don't like Maseratis. You don't like a Bugatti. you know what I mean so all right my body you know what I mean watch out what proper nouns we're using because they some of them may be just fickle you know what I mean so those the proper nouns family God myself so those are things that I gave value to and gave me value and meaning in my life and so I was like I was already in the I was already in the midst of those and those are things I said I'm not going to forgive these and I'm not going to no matter who I become I'm not going to say, oh, these are no longer on my plate.

53:22I don't need to worry about these. Like you said, the Oscar, that's a new one. That's something that was out there. That's big. Becoming a father, that's out there. But since I was eight years old, the one thing I knew I wanted to be was a father. I knew I wanted to meet the right person, the right woman for me. Didn't have her. Hadn't met her yet at that point. It's far from me.

53:50So start with the things that we've got in your saddle that you do already give you meaning and value in your life. And double down on those. Project forward. And if that happens, what will, what will, what would I dream of it to become? And then if you're going to talk about, I think, when we're talking about a career,

54:17we've got to ask ourselves first, I think this would be really valuable for everyone to ask ourselves first, what do you have an innate ability for, an innate talent for? And what are you willing, is that the same thing you're willing to work here for? And then thirdly, which is a little bit more of an asterisk, is that something that the world would demand? if we're going to go straight capitalism supply and demand but we often look at things and I've done it I'll bust my hump for it but I'm like I'm really not that good at it okay or I've got something that sometimes we have things that we're really good at but I'm kind of just a natural I don't want to work at it if you can find something that you have an innate ability for and we love doing things we have an innate ability for, right?

55:16We have an innate talent in our DNA for and then go, now I'm ready to educate myself, learn, hustle, go after, see, create opportunities, bam, bam. It's going to be in the prism of my, how I measure every situation where I am going forward. Hunt it down and do what you got to do to get better at it and then if it's hopefully something that the world can demand, you're... That's a sweet spot. Now you're paying your rent, man. we got food on the table now now now we're rolling now we're waking up with some purpose now we're waking up with um you know yeah it's gonna be a hard day today but i don't i can't i'm not dreading monday morning you know um may want to sleep in but i got i'm building something i'm building something here i'm in construction one of the things that you uh i want to connect that to this thought here 622 matthew 622 if nine ivy single the whole body will be full of light.

56:12I believe that's your favorite passage. You went on a journey, you know, after the, it was either in the middle or at the end of the tail end of your rom-com, you know, stardom. And you went to, on a trip, went on a journey with yourself. I think for 20, 22 days, 22 days in the Amazon. Yeah. And there was a moment in the book where you talk about, essentially you had to kind of have a coming to, you know, moment with yourself where you had to shed all the identities that you were holding onto. Your rings, your heritage, your background, your clothes. I'm famous. I'm a rom-com guy. I'm an actor.

56:50You had to shed all of it. What was the thing that you found when you let go of your identity in the outer world? That I was a mammal.

57:02A mammal. For me, as a believer, a child of God. That's it. I baselined it.

57:14and the mamma we can all agree on right the child of god that was for me and any other believers but the baseline i got rid of i remember my dad's ring which had m on it gold melted down from my mom and dad's class rings and gold from my mom's teeth meant a lot to me yeah but it was an identity marker i'm a mcconaughey this is about my dad i have my american cap that i'd worn for two decades. I'm an American. I'm going to get rid of that. I got rid of all these little talismans that were identities and titles that meant something. They weren't random. They were healthy ones. But I stripped them all off.

57:49It was like, bull. No, you're not famous. No, it's not. Before you were ever an actor, what are you? What were you? Before you were McConaughey. Before you were Texan. Before you were an American. Before you were an actor. Before you were a movie star. Before you were a celebrity. well come on get it all off and I and it was a purge basically and I ended up that was there was I was a naked sweating mammal I was like you're a mammoth child of God and that's what you are so we've stripped off all the accoutrements we've stripped off the ornaments here we are and that is the night that I was like, this has happened a couple of times in my life.

58:38And I think this is important for us all to do at some point. That's when I was like, okay. And what other truth do we know, McConaughey? Tell you what, another truth I'm realizing right now is that you're the only son of a bitch you can't get rid of. So we're going to duke it out for the rest of our life here? Or are we going to figure out how to get along? Wow. what are we going to forgive right now and what are we going to say the buck stops here no more i'm not putting up with it because i'm tired of playing grab with yourself i'm gonna cut the man let's get along i can't get rid of you everybody else every other relationship out there's a choice you're the one person i don't have a choice to hang out with so let's work this out

59:27and just like going back and saying the embarrassment and shame turning into giggles I began to go like, man, maybe you're being too hard on yourself on this thing. You know what? Get that monkey off your back. You're a human, man. Forgive yourself. And these other things, dude. You've been a repeat offender. It hadn't been paying you back. You've been regretting that choice every time you make it, and you keep freaking making it. Cut the shit, man. Evolve. Turn the fucking page. No more. And the next morning, I remember even the Sherpas and stuff in Peru. I came out of the tent and they also gone La Luz!

1:00:04La Luz! Light. The light. Light. And they were talking about me and the way I was moving. And I went for a walk and for the first time during that trip I didn't give a damn about what was around the next corner. You weren't thinking about the destination. I wasn't thinking about the destination getting to the Amazon and how it's been 11 days. When are we going to get there? Mind you, this 11 days prior, I had not really been present in the trip because I was thinking about the result, getting to the destination so much. And then this morning, after that night, I'm walking, I'm not even thinking about what's around the next corner.

1:00:45And when I did turn the corner, I was stopped by this sea of atomic plugged in neon blue like a puddle like a bubbling puddle in the middle of my jungle path and it stopped me and I looked at it I've never seen colors this this neon and bright it was like it was not man-made it was glowing I'm completely sober this time no I don't want to know this is straight eyed right and it stopped me and as I stared at it for about 30 seconds all of a sudden it started burning to flutter and rise and dissipate. It was tens of thousands of these Amazonian butterflies. Wow. And I stayed there for a minute. And then this little words came into my brain from the Prime Mover that said, all I want is what I can see and what I can see is in front of me.

1:01:52I was free. I was light. It was magical. I walked. I turned the corner and went down the trail. And there was the Amazon. I finally made it. I made it to the river. Right after that moment. Wow. Did not know if I was still days away, weeks away. What? Stuff like that happens. We got to listen. Yeah. Those are some of those truths that come that you go, nobody else was here to witness that. That was not for the whole class. That was not on the speakers. but that was not on the bulletin. That was not on the nightly news. That was not even at church on Sunday with the congregation. That wasn't at school.

1:02:31That wasn't sitting around the dinner table with mom and dad learning lessons. It wasn't from a mentor.

1:02:40That was for me in this moment.

1:02:46I must heed that truth. you've been on this journey of a lot of people seeing you on screen and your personalities on screen and your talent in characters. But now over the last three to four years, you've been revealing yourself more and more through your book, through all of your amazing content online, all the interviews you've been doing and all the solo content, which I think is amazing. Please keep doing that. Thank you. I think it's amazing. These lessons that you share, but you're doing something coming up with a couple of buddies of mine, Dean Graziosi and Tony Robbins, where you're creating a live virtual event called the Art of Living, L-I-V-I-N.

1:03:25And we'll have all the information linked up below, so you guys can just click on a link and get there and get registered. But if you guys go to LHLiving.com, it'll take you right to this event. It's a free event, full, I think about a half day. You, Tony Robbins, Dean Graciosi, Trent Shelton, Marie Forleo are putting on this experience. And I really call it an experience. I've watched some of the videos you guys have made behind the scenes. it's going to be incredible. So if you are listening, watching, or seeing a clip of this right now, run to LHLiving.com. Sign up. It's 100 % free. And you're going to be sharing a lot of wisdom and truth and lessons that you haven't shared in here and expanding upon it and new stories.

1:04:07You're going to be expanding a lot on this. Dean and Tony came to me and said, look, we love green lights. And as I wrote in the book, it's an approach to life book. And they said, would you be interested in getting into the process like making it even making it tangible tools for people to use that they can measure in circumstances like yes so that's what we've been doing that's what we're going to get into the hood of on the 24th is how to make it something transformational hopefully for you individually where you can see oh this is how I can utilize this in my life you know I talk about the green lights, yellow lights and red lights and their approach to them and their that's the biggest question I've been asked since I put the book out well the green lights i'm in the left lane how do i trust this is a this is this is as good as it's supposed to be is this the right truth for me um red lights i can't stand it what do you mean there's a gift in the red light how's there a gift in the freaking red light there is yellow light how do i the one where i got to make a choice to either slow down or put the pedal to the metal what do i do it's coming up i feel it i don't know what i do do i call an audible i can tell me to make the choice all explain those things we're going to explain a lot of the science to satisfaction, which will lead to the art of living.

1:05:19And the art is individual. The science is something we can each use and utilize and share, but the art will be yours individually for how you can use it and make it through this dance called Life We're All In. Yeah, I'm so excited. I'm excited to attend myself and be there. And if you are feeling stuck or if you feel like you're on the sidelines, if you feel like you've got a really good life, but you know there's something greater, or if you feel like you're just moving and grooving and life is happening and it's all manifesting and attracting in a beautiful way. This is for people who are in every situation in their life to keep on track.

1:05:54If they're already moving and grooving, if they're at a good life, but they're not getting to that greatness that they want, it's for them. And it's also for people that are stuck or feeling like they're on the sidelines. So make sure you sign up. It's going to be an amazing free virtual event. You can watch it on your phone, at home, on the TV, anywhere it is. It's free. sign up lhliving.com and we'll link all that up as well you know the last story you just told had the entire room just like in awe and in shock and just silent here as you were talking about this truth that you realized from within essentially came through God and you realized from within no one was around you and I mentioned this quote before that if thine eye be single thy whole body will be full of light right Matthew 6 22.

1:06:39What does that mean to you? If thine eye be single, thy whole body will be full of light and that light came to you in that moment and these Sherpas were saying, you know, la luz, la luz. You were radiating light after this came to you. Why is this your favorite passage? And what does it mean for you? And how can we start to step into that? So, the mandorla this is what the mandorla is so we see we so often are seeing life in contradictions right future, the past, heaven, hell, technology culture and we see them as contradictions and when in truth that's two eyes right and there's judgment on either side and there's a duality there but the truth

1:07:40is in that third eye interesting where they overlap and that's not a shade so we go oh that's a shade of gray no it's not a shade of gray what the verse is saying what i get from is that's where all the colors live all the colors of the truth live that passage when i always tell myself keep a high eye it's keep the high eye it's third eye it shows up in all the religions too It shows up everywhere.

1:08:10It's a way of perceiving the truth, I think, which lives in the paradox. And paradox is a word that some people go, oh, don't get into paradox. That's too, I don't know, academic or whatever. No, paradox is where it's both are true. Two things can be true at the same time. It's today we could utilize it. It's like, if I seek to understand you and where you're coming from first, I'm probably gonna, before I seek to be understood, we don't usually, it has to do with listening, has to do with how we see things, it's how we judge. It's very easy, and especially today, I think we love to be judge and jury on others and ourselves.

1:08:53It's a very arrogant thing for us to do. and this passage if that I be single and not a dual contradiction and seeing the contradiction things have gone oh this is true and that's true and instead of or right there's that's where the truth lives I believe and it doesn't mean that you just straddle the fence and you're non-committal about anything right that's not what it means it doesn't mean you're just Mr. in between so that's true and that's true and it's all okay no you can then have judgment but see both first. See the overlap of the truth and understand it from both sides and then be understood and you can then have judgment but see it through that lens first because we just don't do it.

1:09:38We come in with one eye or we, me, us versus them. Me versus you. My idea versus yours. Left versus right. Democrat versus Republican. Even how far can you go? Can you go down to right versus wrong good versus bad i mean we see them as contradictions in there and they're not we all know we all got a little good in us we all got a little bad it's a choice we make where we then have judgment um so that passage has uh elevated my pov quite a bit and after it's one that i daily remind myself of um if i'm getting a low eye on somebody if i'm condescending people if I'm objectifying people, I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

1:10:28High eye, buddy. Come on, open that third eye. It's not open. My kids can see it in my eyes when I'm talking to them. If I'm talking at them, or if I stop and really look at them, and maybe there's something, maybe it's a form of discipline. But then they can see if I'm looking at them like, I love you, man. This is why I'm trying to teach you this. All of a sudden they go, my son said it. I see your third eye. I have to fly. Really? 622 I'm like yeah yeah he's like I heard you I didn't hear you before when you were talking just at me you know so it's a great it's a great reminder Matthew 622 the whole body will be full of light and you will move lightly and with discernment doesn't take away discernment doesn't take away judgment see it through that lens first and understand that that truth is where those overlap and then make your decision.

1:11:25Wow. I think it's beautiful that your, I believe it was your son that was born at 622. 622. That's crazy, man. So there's another one. I'm all about the symbols and the signs and the synchronicities of life. And me and my girlfriend, Martha, we talk about how impactful it is to listen and watch for the signals and signs and synchronicities. And I think you would probably say that that might be a green light that you should be looking towards when you see those things kind of coming in your peripheral. I think so, but let's talk about this because I was writing this yesterday. It seems our greatest strength is our greatest Achilles heel.

1:12:05And if you overcompensate for something that works for you, all of a sudden you go into the equal and same amount into the debit section. Meaning, on this instance, if you're, we've all been there. If you're looking for the signal and the significance in every situation, you start creating ones that aren't real. Making them up. It's like, well, you're getting stimulus from everywhere. Oh, that was a sign. Oh, that was a sign. And I remember writing this line about everything has significance, but not everything is significant. Right? And so we have to watch that fine line of where do we intuit?

1:12:48Where do we feel a truth? But if we're, again, like we were talking earlier about finding, remember when I quit looking for, if we're hunting for the significance in every single thing, it could be mental meditation. The subplots become unmanageable. You know what I mean? How do we know when it's significant? Right. Can we put ourselves in that place to receive it? And be aware to see it. You got to be light. You got to be light. And you got to be in a place where you can hear it, feel it, and see it. but if we're out there going well you know we've all been there look at that heart wow that tree and all of a sudden you look up three hours later and you you were on your way to the bathroom but you didn't move six inches because you were so oh wow wow and that's we've been around those people like whoa subplots are a little unmanageable bro you know at the same time got to be open to that that mystical math that comes to us because there's a metric to that mystical math there's a metric to that spiritual, those gifts that come to us.

1:13:48We don't know how to put them in a category and go, there's how their currency, there's the credits and debits, there's how they bring us ROI, and this is what they're worth. They don't come in numbers like that, but there is a real, true, valuable metric to them. And I think, again, art of living, how are you aware of them and be open to them and put yourself in a place so you can receive them at the same time not go hunting them down in every single shape size and smell because then you'll be just you'll just spin in circles you know yeah and it's that's an art you know and and and i don't know explain what that art is got times where i feel like i'm in the people call it maybe the flow state where you're kind of intuition's right on time and i don't know what time it is i don't even wear a watch but i was right on time again whatever that is you know your reactions you you you understand what someone's saying even it's not what they're saying kind of come back you see where they're coming from you're taking care of yourself but you're taking care of others at the same time it's a wonderful flow um and it starts i think a lot a baseline for that would be to be in that position to see those mystical sort of gifts that come.

1:15:08Starts with gratitude. Yes. I love in your acceptance speech, one of the first things you said was it's a scientific fact that gratitude reciprocates. It pays back. I love that you said that in your speech, by the way. Thank you for putting that out in the world because I feel like gratitude is the pathway. It's the doorway that opens to the pathway of abundance, of love. Coming in and going out. Yes. To light, all these different things. And so it's the magnifier and the magnet to what you want in a conscious, healthy way. You could also magnify in other unconscious, unhealthy ways, but I think that's what it does.

1:15:47So I'm so grateful that you said that on a big platform, a big stage, because I feel like when people see someone accomplish a big thing, a big award or a big, you know, fame or success, they want that. but I'm glad you fed people the peas and carrots right away. Right. And talked about gratitude. It's gratitude. It's gratitude. It's a scientific fact. When did you realize that gratitude was the key for you in opening up so many doors? My mom's big on gratitude. And I mean, she instilled it in us at an early age. I remember it was, you know, you get up grumpy in the morning and you come into the kitchen from your bedroom for breakfast and you wanted to sleep longer and you're kind of grumpy.

1:16:33And she'd see the way we would walk. And if we were kind of, she'd turn around from the kitchen making breakfast. She goes, go back to your bed. And don't get out of bed until you're ready to come in here and see the rose in the vase instead of the dust in the table. And you'd be like, oh, jeez, okay, yeah, I got to go back. I rearranged. And she would preach just the very baseline basics. Like, you, who do you think you are to think you were guaranteed the sun was going to rise for you today? Jeez, Mom. I remember, Mom, I got this old pair of snotty sneakers with holes in them and stuff. I need another pair of sneakers.

1:17:06Oh, yeah, you think another pair of sneakers? Let me introduce you to the kid with no feet. Oh, geez, Mom. You see, always like baseline sober to sup on stuff like that. So it started with the very baseline stuff. Now, we get more fluent in life. We have things. I don't think we should take even those things for granted. but a lot of us right there going okay i get that part but how do we become thankful for you know more things we have around us in our life um i think that the more we are give thanks for it's it's we give more value to that thing or that person or that place that you give more value to it, it means more to us.

1:17:53If something means more to us, we tend it. We take care of it. When you take care of something, something grows. So it scales. So actually gratitude is the root of generosity. Coming in and going. And it's a self-serving thing. It's not just a self less serving. It is self-serving. I applaud that it is. And if you're going to give gratitude out for selfish reasons i say bravo you know because it will reciprocate the same way back out um it just it it you know in our foundation we have these young kids that we give them a safe place to go after school they learn nutrition uh they make a physical goal and they do community service these are title one schools and at the end of every one of those classes they all just sit around in a circle and share something out loud they're thankful for and these are high school students it ain't cool to say thank you for stuffing you in high school right well when they first started saying thank you they were like i'm i'm thankful for the just good validation i'm thankful and they all repeat themselves they're like no no no no guys y 'all you're thinking y 'all feeling like this is too serious so one day it got to me and i was like i'm thankful i got a kiss from my wife this morning before i got out of bed and they all started hooting and i was like see you can be thankful for fun stuff too so they all started saying thankful thankful halloween's coming i'm thankful i got i'm looking so sharp that everyone laughed what that led to was then people started to feel free to go i'm thankful my mom is out of the hospital i'm thankful my sister got into that college i'm thankful my dad got a job and when we ask them what's your favorite thing about the gratitude circle this is the coolest answer they started coming up to us and saying well my favorite thing about it is that i'm for the first time hearing peers of mine say thank you for something in their lives that i have in mind that i've always taken regret there's that reciprocity again where do you think you would be if you had zero gratitude in your life oh geez zero gratitude if you never expressed it if you never experienced it you never talked about what you're grateful for?

1:20:10I'd look a lot older. I'd feel a lot older. I'd have less energy. I'd be a cynic, which is a great disease of getting older that we all should stave off.

1:20:25You wouldn't want to be hanging out with me, man. No, no, no. You wouldn't. I mean, I'd probably be right about a lot of things. Righteous, yeah. And you'd be like, good for him. I don't want to be around the sun. You know? Yeah. Do you think we can manifest abundance in the things we want, the goals we want without gratitude? Is it possible? Yeah. I mean, you could mathematically compound things that are technically good or should come in abundance, I think. But you're not going to enjoy it. Right, right, right. That inner abundance won't be there. It'll be a little antiseptic. Right. It'll be all treble, no bass.

1:21:23It won't have much feeling to it. I don't think you're going to be. Why cheat yourself out on the great feeling of being thankful for something? It's there to be thankful for. and again I don't mean when I bring up earlier be less impressed more involved I don't mean I don't mean that oh disrespect don't be because we have to be more than just happy to be here we can't just all run around going just so great I'm what I just so happy to be alive we got we want to be more than that I mean again have some discernment make a choice have some identity, define what you want more of and what you want more value of in your life and set goals and go after things, create things.

1:22:11So we have to be more than just happy to be here. But that doesn't mean that if we are ambitious, that we quit respecting and giving gratitude for the fact that I'm happy I'm here. I respect this situation. I respect the position I'm in, this table to talk to you, that we're here to talk to everyone here that set up the camera, that we're able to do this. I'm not in jail right now. There's a whole list of long things. I'm happy I'm not. That never goes out of style to go underneath where we are to lesser, harder situations and just realize this is cool. This is cool to be here. So when we do that, we're going to give more, again, more meaning to this, more value to it.

1:23:04I'm going to be more generous. It's going to work not only for me, it's going to work better for you. It's going to work better for you. It's going to work for all of you. It's the kind of epidemic we want. It's a win, win, win. Yeah. It's a win for us. It's a win for others in the world. Gratitude epidemic is not being a delusional optimist. Right. No, don't be a fool. You know, I'm not running around going, no, nothing's ever hard. Everything's always great. No, it's not. You know? No, I'm always happy. No, you're not. Maybe you're not digging deep enough because you're always happy. Are you really chasing the things that have meaning in your life?

1:23:41Because things that have meaning take maintenance. They break down. It hurts. It sucks. We get bruised. We try to tickle, but we end up pinching. It doesn't always come in and going. It doesn't always work. It takes maintenance. What's the thing you struggle with the most in your life right now? after all this success outwardly. Yeah. All the, what seems like a lot of love, a lot of inner peace, a lot of family, community, connection, service, impact now, greater than just your talent and your on screen, but also changing lives and touching people emotionally and spiritually with your message.

1:24:18What is your biggest struggle at this season of life? Am I doing enough and is what I'm doing? Am I doing it the right way? The best way?

1:24:37I need accomplishment for significance.

1:24:44I wish I didn't as much. At the same time, I'm glad you do need that. If you didn't have that, again, like the times I was talking earlier, being arrogant put me in situations to get humbled. Sure, sure, sure. If I didn't want accomplishment, I was like, okay, nothing wrong with that. But I say this, we talk about a midlife crisis, and then I heard there's this thing called quarter life crisis. Now, okay, we're going to 10 year old, whatever, whatever these crises are. The original one, which was kind of titled the midlife crisis, I think, one, bravo. Way to go. You're turning the page, you're wanting to do more, you're wanting to find more, something different.

1:25:29bravo way to make it hard on yourself at the right way at the right time after you usually have already accomplished quite a bit but don't forgive this let's go back to gratitude and this is where a lot of people i think get hung up in the midlife crisis wanting to do more and something different it's great but not at the expense of disrespecting what you've already done right not discounting what you've done no and too many of us discount oh i've done nothing oh that's not worth anything. Oh, it's the stuff I built. When usually, no, that is something. No, that is something. And when I say give yourself credit for that, that doesn't mean trust that you're not going to go, oh, okay then.

1:26:10I actually don't want to do more new stuff. I'm cool. It's not like you're going to go just retire and go to the beach or play golf or quit doing anything, but it doesn't cancel that your ambitions out. But we need to be more, give more respect to what we've already built and then we'll take on our male life crisis which I'm going to return that something. Crisis. I don't like the word crisis on that but you're still ambitious. You can be ambitious and have an entrepreneur spirit to want to go change things in your life while still respecting. I actually think you'll find more and do more of what you want to do the best way for yourself when you do have a respect and a connection to your lineage of what you actually have built.

1:26:48Give yourself credit for what you have built to this more. Cancel that out so i need to feel like i'm barren to go forward no that's going to help you this next story is connected to that one all right then that's not a new book it's the same book it's just a new chapter we're looking for right those stories are connected it's the same hardcover we don't start over in our lives and start a new book start a new chapter maybe and those things that we like to tell ourselves oh it's a new chapter they're usually just commas those things we like to say oh it's the end of the book it's usually just a period into the paragraph and those things we go no it's a whole new and a means of communicating it's a it's it's it's a new encyclopedia no it's just a new chapter in the same book we all need to get one book right before i ask these final questions i want people to go to lhlivin.com that's l-i-v-i-n.com we'll have it linked up in the description.

1:27:52Whether you're watching or listening, we'll have it linked up. So wherever you're watching or listening, make sure you go there. Sign up for this free virtual live event. Make sure you check it out. You're not going to want to miss this. It's going to be, there's probably going to be a million people that are signed up for this thing. When I talked to Dean, he was like, this is going to be a million people at least. So I think it's going to be a ton of people. There's going to be a massive community of people that are all looking for more and looking to understand more within themselves. So make sure you guys sign for that right now.

1:28:18You'll get notified by it. Give your email and you'll be in there. I've got three, I wish I could go another two hours, but I will have to do another one with your next book. But I've got three final questions for you. The first one is about significance because we mentioned significance and everything has significance, but not everything is significant. Yeah. I think that's what you said. I'm going to butcher this, but something like 20 years ago one of the things that most kids grew up wanting to be was like an astronaut. Now it's the number one thing is a YouTuber or like an influencer. And it just seems like the youth wants fame and success and influence more than ever before.

1:29:06Essentially wanting significance, right? Wanting to be significant and significance. Yeah. What is your thoughts on fame? You know, having been famous for a long time now and experienced probably the juice of it, the pleasures of it, and also some of the stuff that's not so nice. What is your thoughts on fame that you want people to know, whether in their youth or at any stage of life, on what it is, what it isn't, and how to manage it when you got it? Sure. Fame. Before you go, I want to be famous, which is a great ambition. It's fun. I'm famous. I'm glad. It's the access it's given me and it's definitely in the black in my life.

1:29:55It comes with its harder and short challenging things like loss of anonymity. I don't meet strangers anymore. I do something, say something, it's out there. I can feel the energy of the world whether it's pro or con. how they think about it, whether it's true or whether it's not, whether it's completely true or whether it's valid. But don't say, before you say I want to be famous, that's fine, table that, scoot that over. For what? We all want to be relevant. I do. You? You? Better damn sure ask yourself, relevant for what? what do you want to do really well? What do you want to do? You have an innate ability for that you're willing to work for that.

1:30:47Maybe you can become an expert on. Maybe you can, maybe you're just really good at winging it, but what do you want to do that, that, that could give you fame, but fame without, without an understanding of a structure of a, competence of a skill in my experience is a real sort of vapid mirage of a moving target because there's the old word 15 minutes of fame. There are fads that come in and out all the time that are very seasonal. We can do heat, seek and chase them. And we do all the time. I've got nothing against that. But understand that that may not be lasting and and when you are going to do something that you think oh this is going to get me more likes or give me some fame just check in with yourself and go well if that goes out of fashion or if in 10 years as far as you can project 20 years 30 years 40 years am i going to still feel like i will stand by that just just just measure yourself give yourself a little projection before you go because we can do stuff right now to get famous that we will absolutely regret tomorrow but tonight we're gonna be famous maybe have a little sense of delayed gratification and project forward of what the possible consequences of what you're doing to get attention and fame will be and bet on yourself just bet on yourself because the best way if we can is to build something and be competent something where it's a even if it goes out of style it will be looked back or like going nope that person did that really well that's what they were known for and even though we don't do that anymore things have changed or the medium has changed when that was happening that person did it was doing it well so ask that because we're tempted and we're rewarded for a lot of things that can make us famous that are going to give us a proverbial hangover one day.

1:33:06Check in with those things. It's a slippery line. It's very tempting, but give yourself enough credit. Give yourself more credit to go, is this who I really am is this who I want to be am I doing this because I love it and I'm good at it or am I doing this because I think it could get a lot of attention even though I don't believe in it even though I'm going to probably regret deal with it later don't hold on don't don't don't press send yet don't do it don't do it hang on um time is more on your side than you think so just watch what you put out and also things with like and I'm leaning back into social media that we just were simple reminders for all of us adults and our children just remember those things you say those likes and those dislikes they're going to outlive you they're going to outlive me they're going to outlive all of us they will be on our record they will be on our great great great great great great grandchildren's records just think about a little just have a have a little touch take a little inventory before you go yeah and a follow up to that what's the number one skill you wish you would have either learned or mastered before you know becoming really famous ah the number one skill to be able to manage it or you know navigate it the number one skill for me it would have been and I did learn this about five years in my career but preparation I had a run early on my career where I thought I was better if I just winged it like oh no if I get prepared I'm getting too mental I'm thinking too much I'm getting too himleshing no no no I'm an instinct alright and I embarrassed it out of myself in a movie in a role and one of the most regretful things I've ever done it's so embarrassing and I learned preparation on that day and I still prepare and I prepare so I can have freedom so I can wing it so I can throw a chunk the script away and go let's dance call audibles game time they didn't play the defense we thought they were we're reading the defense chunk the playbook here's what we're running then it's really fun yeah you know but that comes you can only do that if you prepare the right way.

1:35:40Your playbook or your roadmap, whatever it is. And I didn't understand that early. Luckily, I figured it out and I still got to work. Sure, sure. I've got two final questions. That was a follow-up, so I'm adding two more real quick. The Art of Living. Make sure you guys go there. LHliving.com. Go sign up. It's free. Be there. Invite a few friends. You're going to have an amazing time. I want to acknowledge you, McConaughey, for not half-assing it. I know it's something that your dad talked about, is that if you're going to go on this dream, this career, this path, don't half-ass it. And I love the nod you added at the end of your book about not half-assing it.

1:36:26So I really acknowledge you for not half-assing it in every stage and season of life that you've gone after. and I really acknowledge you for how you've been able to be successful and also have a really beautiful marriage and be a beautiful father and I know you talk about how you have C's in lots of these areas you talked about not A's yeah but the fact that you keep living the way you do and showing up with your heart open-hearted in service to people I really acknowledge that for you Matthew for your willingness to want to teach constantly and at the same time being a student of life. Thank you.

1:37:05I'm trying. I'm trying. I ain't making A's and all of it. I'm trying. As you know, part of that's the deal. If we can get the right playbook and just keep getting back in the game each day. We ain't going to get there. We ain't going to get to the ta-da moment of, oh, I got it all figured out. That ain't happening. But if we can see how far along we can get while we're here. Amen. I asked you this question before. So these final two questions, I'll ask them quickly. The first one is called my three truths question. I asked you this before. If people want to see what those are, we'll have linked up the previous interview.

1:37:37We can see and compare your last interview, what your three truths were to today, a couple of years later. A lot has happened in the last couple of years. and here's the question um you get to live as long as you want you get to continue to create make art write books do programs movies everything you want to do you get to do forever for as long as you live but then the lights go out at some point okay when they do not like you're not saying like if you live forever no no you're gonna live for as long as you want okay you know another 50 100 whatever years however long you can extend your life okay then one day you've got to turn off the lights.

1:38:11I'm pretty sure. Yeah. And, um, and you create and accomplish everything. Let's say you got another list of 20 goals that all happen, you know, just like you did in 1992. Yeah. But for whatever reason, all of your work, all the movies, books, content is gone. Gone. Hypothetical. Okay. Gone. Gone. No one has access to it in this world anymore. Ever. Ever. But you get to leave behind three truths with the world. And this is all we would have of your wisdom and information. Three lessons, three truths. Is it getting rolling right now? We're not taking a time out before this answer? I get to come back and write this one in on an email.

1:38:51Oh my goodness. Three truths. I answered this before last time? You did answer this before. Can you tell me what I said? I'll tell you afterwards. Jeez, three truths. Whatever's on your heart or your mind right now. Three truths.

1:39:06When in doubt, make sense of humor. your default emotion

1:39:16don't make a straight line crooked

1:39:22and

1:39:28loving your kids mama is one of the best things you can do as a parent Final question. What's your definition of greatness? Of greatness. Greatness. Greatness. Par excellence. What is the definition of greatness? Not perfection. Greatness.

1:39:58Pursuit, capture, and proof at the highest mortal level.

1:40:09yeah I like that one that's good what did I say can I remember that one pursuit capture and proof at the highest mortal level you want to say it one more time yes pursuit capture and proof at the highest mortal level amen I'll go with that alright is there anything you want to that's on your heart that you want to finish with anything that you want to share just this event that we're going to do for free please come join us and bring who you want it should be I don't think I'll say too many cuss words, but I think you can bring your kids to it and everything. It's going to be, we're going to talk about life, man.

1:40:41We're all trying to figure this thing out, aren't we? And we're all here. And the difference between saying we're stuck in it or we're saying, no, we're on the ride and we're driving. It's about, you know, life's going to happen to us, but we can also, we also have our hands on the wheel. And that's what we're going to talk about, have our hands on the wheel, especially at this time in life, after coming out of this disruptive time with COVID in the last three or four years, where all of our life was sort of disrupted and we were in limbo. it's time to make some choices and we can make choices to to just have a solid step forward on where we want to go because we can now see further than we could in the last four years so that's the timing of as well so look forward to seeing you there we're glad to have a hoot of a time.

1:41:19Matthew, thanks so much man. Appreciate you. Thank you man. Yes. I hope today's episode inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a rundown of today's show with all the important links and if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me as well as ad-free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel on Apple Podcast. If you enjoyed this, please share it with a friend over on social media or text a friend. Leave us a review over on Apple Podcast and let me know what you learned over on our social media channels at Lewis Howes.

1:41:52I really love hearing the feedback from you and it helps us continue to make the show better. And if you want more inspiration from our world class guests and content to learn how to improve the quality of your life, then make sure to sign up for the Greatness newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter. And if no one has told you today, I want to remind you that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.