Muniba Mazari | Become the Source of Your OWN JOY & Find TRUE SELF-LOVE

31:49I'm so fascinated by your story. And every time I see your content, it makes me smile. Every time I went to see you post a video or a photo. I'm always just rooting for you. I'm so excited for you and your life and the impact you make. And you are so much more talented than just an artist. At first, you wanted to be an artist, and then you thought you couldn't be. You were like, these don't look good. But now you're selling your art, your arts and galleries. It's really inspiring. But you're also a massive activist. You're a TV anchor, model. You did modeling. you sing, and you're a speaker, and you motivate millions of people around the world.

32:29You could have not done any of it. You could have said, I just want to be an artist and just go after that one thing. But you decided to go for more. When and why did you say, I want to start sharing this story and start putting this message out there in a bigger way and revealing these things about yourself that maybe you were scared to do? You know, I remember when I gave my very first talk, that was TEDx. And it actually happened when I decided and I manifested that I'm going to overcome the fear of facing people. That's so ironic that a public speaker was once scared of facing people. I was for sure.

33:07Yeah. I know. So what happened was I gave my very first TED talk. And after my TED talk, a girl from the audience, she came to me and she was crying. And she said, can I give you a hug? And I said, sure. So she gave me a hug and she said, your 10 minute TED talk has solved 10 problems of my life. And she said, today you made me realize that those 10 problems never existed. They were just in my head. And I was overthinking. And because of you, I'm never going to give up. You know, in that moment, in the flashback, I could hear my mother saying, one day God will show you how did he choose you out of so many for this test.

33:48And that was the moment of realization that, you know what, if my words can change someone's perspective, maybe this is my true calling in life. You know, and as they say that in the end, what matters is how many lives you have touched. So art is my comfort zone, Lewis. You know, I can sit in the corner of my room in a cozy environment, have a cup of coffee and paint and sell the work, make both ends meet, pay the bills, raise my son and live. But I mean, is that enough? It's not enough. Because comfort zone is a good place to be, but nothing ever grows there. So if you really want to grow as a person, if you really want to learn and unlearn, we need to tap on all the abilities that we have we are so blessed with immense potential which remains untapped because we are too busy doing nine to five we are too busy paying bills and we live the same routine for so many years and then we end up calling it life it's not life it's not you know I realized later that you know I was labeled as the first wheelchair-bound model the first wheelchair-bound singer, the first wheelchair-bound anchor, first wheelchair-bound, you know, and it was so much rubbed in my face that I said, you know what?

35:09I might be the first one to do all this, but I wouldn't be the last. I had to pave path for so many people who are supremely talented, who are differently abled, who are supremely talented, but maybe, maybe they were just a bit scared to take the first step. I took the first step. I broke those barriers. At least I tried, you know, and now I see a lot of young boys and girls doing amazing work. Why? Because now it's normal. It's normal for a wheelchair user to smile. It's normal for a wheelchair user, may it be a boy or a girl, to look good, to wear lipstick, to look nice, you know, to face the world.

35:52It's normal now. And even right now, when being an anchor person, you know, I'm working for the national TV of Pakistan. And when I'm doing my show, I'm always thinking about that little boy or girl, you know, sitting in a far-flung village watching my show. And I think about them that, you know, they might be thinking that if a girl or a woman in a wheelchair can do this, we can do that too. You know, and that's what it is. So one day I feel always that the day I will leave the world, you know, a lot of people will see my reflection in these young boys and girls who are unique, who are different, who were scared once, but now they're not anymore.

36:33Yeah. Speaking of young boys and girls, you know, in your videos online, you talked about how after the accident, the doctor said that you wouldn't be able to have kids. Isn't that right? Yes. Was that really like a shock and very devastating for you? And if so, why was that so devastating? And what did you do about it to change that narrative? It was devastating. Yes, definitely it was. You know, we live in a society where if women, you know, it's a bit of truth. A lot of people will hate me to say that, but I have to say it because I've experienced that. if a woman is unable to reproduce, if a woman is unable to be a mother, she's labeled as a useless woman.

37:24Oh, she cannot give birth to a child. She's incomplete. Right. And this is not changing. I hope one day things will change, but it's not changing for women. And, you know, the first thing that came to my mind was that, oh my God, I loved kids. I will never be able to have a child, but people are not going to accept me because at that point I was married and I cannot have kids. Disaster. You know, how will I tell the world that even if I cannot give birth to a child, I can still love a child unconditionally. You don't have to give birth to a child to be a mother, You know, and so what happened was, again, that was my biggest fear that I wanted to have children.

38:13I wanted to have at least one child. So what I did was I adopted a child. And that baby was my son's name is Niall. He was a few days old when I held him for the first time in my arms. And now he is 11 years old. Wow. I mean, he is so amazing. He's such a bundle of joy. And, you know, when I held him for the first time, it actually made me feel that, you know, he was the fruit of all the pain that I've been through. Wow. So, yes. What's been the biggest lessons he has taught you and motherhood has taught you? Oh, motherhood is all about unconditional love. It's all about that. You know, a woman in a wheelchair can be a mother.

38:55A woman who cannot see her child can be a mother. You know, so you cannot define motherhood in words. It is just all about being unconditionally in love with a child, whether you have given birth to that child or not. I mean, probably my eyes, my eye color does not match my son's eyes, but I see my reflection in his eyes every day. And this little boy who is now 11, he is such an inspiration. I have learned so much from him, you know, so much from him. you know one thing I've learned from Niall is that kids don't judge they don't you know and I've shared this many times I'll share this with your audience also that he was about four years old you know he had he's obsessed with soccer he loves football so we got him his first football and he was so excited you know so much so that he actually forgot that I'm in the wheelchair So he said, Mom, I got my football.

39:56Let's play football. And I said, yes, let's do it. So he kept the football in my feet. And he said, Mom, kick the ball. And I looked at him and I said, Nile, my legs don't work. Wow. You know, and I, you know, I just started crying a little bit. And I was acting all cool. But he could sense that, you know what? My mum is hurting. And he looked at me and he said, it's OK. Your legs don't work. Your hands are working. Let's play catch the ball. You know, and in that moment, he made me realize that when we are busy thinking about the glasses half empty, he made me realize that, no, think positive because your glasses are full.

40:34And so that's how we play. Instead of playing football, we were playing catch the ball. I love this. I love this story. Can you wheel the wheelchair and kick it with the wheelchair? Can you kind of turn it and hit a little bit? No, no. I'm too scared. Honestly, you know, sometimes it tips over and it just scares me so much. So yes, no adventures on the wheelchair for me. Oh man, it falls over sometimes. It does. Really? Is that how, what is that like when it falls over? You have to be in the wheelchair to understand how you feel. Oh man, that's scary. Oh man. One of the things we talked about before we started this was the power of identifying your fears, creating a list of your fears.

41:27You talk about this in one of your videos where there was a point of your life where you were just afraid of everything, lots of different things you were afraid of. Can you talk about the importance and what you did to just overcome fear after fear and what that did for you, that exercise of overcoming them? So I'll tell you something. I'm talking about self-acceptance. Accept yourself the way you are. It's never easy. I think the biggest obstacle is a long list of fears, all sorts of fears, known, unknown. My biggest fears were three. They were my major fears. So I wrote them down. And I said, you know what, I'm going to overcome these fears one at a time.

42:07My biggest fear was facing people, you know. And when I used to, now when I say this to the world that, you know, I was scared of facing people, people think I'm being funny. But no. And it's not the fact that I did not want to see people or I just hated people. That's why I didn't want to see them. You know, I was tired of, you know, those remarks like, oh, poor girl. You know, I was tired of being treated as a patient. Oh, how do you feel? I feel the same, ask me more about what I'm doing in life right now, you know, and this mercy in their eyes that, oh, poor girl, that really, you know, that was killing me from within.

42:46And I said, you know what, I'm going to overcome this fear of facing people and, you know, maybe one day they will understand that I'm okay. I'm okay the way I am now. I've accepted myself, so please, you need to accept me too, you know. And as they say that when you think about doing something, the universe conspires. While I was thinking constantly about how can I overcome this fear of facing people? How can I do this? I was going to the malls. I was doing groceries, but that wasn't enough. Out of the blue, I got a call from TEDx. And, you know, so the guy said that, you know, we really want you to come and share your story.

43:25And without missing a second, I said, I'm doing it. So that's how I gave my very first TED Talk. And in fact, while I was giving the talk, you know, I was sharing my life story with the world. You know, there I was sitting in front of so many people and sharing my story thinking, what am I doing? You know, I'm literally becoming an open book and everybody can come and say things to me because, you know, here I am. They can judge you. Yeah, they can do whatever. Yeah. Of course, right? But then I realized that maybe, you know, someone somewhere in the audience needs my words. So I'll do it for that one person.

44:10And then later that girl came from the audience. And in that moment, I realized that, you know, probably being speaker is my true calling in life, maybe. You know, then the other biggest fear was the fear of not becoming a mother. And I was constantly thinking about it, that, you know, how, how can I work? And then I sat down with my mother one day and I said, Mama, I want to adopt a child. And, you know, but I was scared, you know, being a wheelchair user, I said, you know, maybe, you know, it will be hard. And my mother said, I'm with you. We'll raise him together, you know. And so I said, can we do this?

44:47She said, yes, let's do it. And that's how. So I applied for adoption. I waited for two years. And then one fine day out of nowhere, I got a call. The lady said, there is a baby boy. And would you like to adopt? I said, is that even a question? Of course, yes. So that's how Nile came in my life. And then the other biggest fear was abandonment. As we were talking earlier, what happens when people leave. Trust me, nothing happens. We are so scared of abandonment that, again, when you let go of all the extra people, you realize that you never needed them. You just never needed them. So have a good relationship with yourself and you will never be scared of abandonment.

45:36So when I overcame this fear of facing people, I became a speaker or whatever things I'm doing when I overcame the fear of motherhood became a mother you know so that's what it is why do you think so many people are afraid to be alone this is kind of like this fear I don't want to die alone I can't you know go day by day without having friends around me all the time I can't be alone I can't go to dinner by myself I can't go to the movie by myself I can't walk down the street alone why is there this insecurity or fear that so many people have? Because we forget that we came in the world with nothing and we live with nothing.

46:14We came alone crying. And when we were born, we were in pain, right? And we were crying. That was the sign of life. Oh, the baby is alive because the baby is crying and the baby is in pain. And when we leave, we are alone. So many people have left. Life does not stop, right we are designed because we are social animals right we human beings are social animals we need to socialize the problem comes problem is not with the relationship the problem is the expectations that we have with our partners that my spouse has to make me feel good yeah it doesn't work that way it doesn't your spouse is a human being too fighting battles you are doing too.

47:04Again, if you two are not complimenting each other, your life will become miserable. And also, there's one thing that I've noticed. People are competing. I mean, two people in a relationship are not complimenting each other. They're competing with one another. This is so silly. Yes. I mean, you are supposed to compliment each other, you know, but you guys are competing with each other. And no wonder why so many people are so broken, so broken. Either they switch to the new relationships like that because, oh my God, what will happen if we are all by ourselves? Trust me, nothing happens. You know, this global pandemic has taught us a lesson, You know, and that is by the end of the day, we are all on our own.

47:58So if you want to heal from COVID, you have to live with yourself. And you know why people were so scared of being on their own? Because they have never spent time with themselves for so long. Right? And they were just so scared. But let me tell you something. Being a wheelchair user I have spent so much time On my own And it did not kill me So when you sit with yourself You realize Oh I'm actually a good company For myself And that's it So you go, you meet people, you socialize Because it's fun But not because you need to do it But because you want to do it That's what it is and I think there's this you know there's this thing where we shouldn't be abandoning ourselves we don't need to be at an event or be in relationships with people if they are constantly toxic like you said or if they're making us wrong or bad if they're not accepting us that's really a form of self-hatred if we keep putting ourselves in those situations and we abandon the love for ourselves the boundaries we need to create to have the environment of peace and love and joy.

49:15So I think it's important for us to remember that. We don't have to keep showing up in situations where people are trying to hurt us. We can protect ourselves and not abandon ourselves. Yes, like Maya Angelou says, when people show you their true colors, believe them. Yeah, absolutely. Do not justify their toxicity. Oh, you know, my spouse is being overprotective. You know what? Because he's so much in love. No, that's toxic. That's bad. And it's only going to get worse. So be aware. When people show you their true colors, believe them. Yes. Why do you think, for people who might feel stuck in their life, might feel some type of brokenness, whether it be emotionally or physically, and they say, I don't know how to go after my dreams.

50:07What advice would you give to people who are struggling to figure out what their dreams are and also how to go after them. First and foremost, we have this constant pressure of overachievement thanks to social media. Why? Because everybody's posting about something great. You know, I achieved this. I achieved that. Oh, my God. Hashtag global trotter. Wait, I cannot afford to buy a ticket. I cannot go anywhere. What am I supposed to do, right? When you see people posting rather bragging about what they have done in their lives every day, projects after projects, you question yourself. Am I doing enough?

50:52Am I good enough? Is my life meaningful enough, right? But let me tell you something. Social media is all about the good stuff. Nobody is going to post about their daily struggles. When I try to sit every day in the morning because my back muscles don't work, I fall back. Then I try to get up, I fall back. And it happens, it continues. So basically, I start my day as a failure because I just cannot sit on my own without the help of my mother. But my social media doesn't show that. It's all about inspirational things, right? So please, you don't have to be an overachiever every day. Sometimes just waking up in the morning and not giving up on yourself is a huge achievement.

51:41Absolutely. You know, and I do it every day. You do it every day. We all do that. So appreciate it and be kind to yourself. Yeah. And you were talking about people dreaming. I always say one thing that dreams don't work unless you do. You know, there is no such thing as overnight achievement. No. If it comes easy, it goes easy. I can sit in the corner of the room and daydream all day long, but nobody's going to come and serve success on plate. Right. Right? So I have to be optimistic, but I have to be realistic too. I need to work to get my dreams. And that's it. And what I've learned so far, Lewis, is the attitude of gratitude works wonders.

52:24Just be grateful. Because you are way, way better than many. You know, it is so powerful that gratitude has the power to turn what you have into enough. You know, gratitude will never let, it will never turn your pain into suffering. It will never, you know. And so be grateful for all the things that you have, for the things that you don't have or you have lost. Just be grateful. There's a, for many years of my life, I would get frustrated when things would happen, right? I remember having a dream of being a professional football player and I got injured. I broke my wrist and had a surgery and had to recover for about a year and a half, which kept me from playing and living my dream of playing sports anymore.

53:12And then I went through multiple breakups. I had to learn the lesson the hard way many times in relationships. You know, just lots of things happened where I was like, why is this happening? Why? Why is this breakdown happening? Why am I in pain? Why did this happen when I was a child? all these different things. And then I finally learned a strategy where people always say, you know, when you look back, you can connect the dots. Hindsight is 20-20, they say, right? You can look back and you can see why that needed to happen. Then when bad things started to happen, I said, you know what? I'm going to look forward.

53:46I'm going to have future hindsight. I'm going to say, you know what? This needed to happen because it's helping me become a new person. It's helping me let go of toxic relationships. It's helping me get on a different path that will serve more people in my life and bring me more joy. When you had this accident, did you think about yourself in the future? Or when did you realize, I should say, when did you start to realize that, oh, this is happening for me, because it's going to benefit more people, it's going to bring me closer to my mission, or it's going to help me bring myself more joy? When did that happen for you.

54:21It's rightly said, nothing is happening to us. It's happening for us. It's all about perception, right? It's all about your perspective. You know, I cannot relate to that 21 year old who used to walk around. I don't even remember, Luis, how it feels, you know, to stand on your legs. Wow. I just don't feel it. And if you can feel it, you're very lucky. You know, health is such a big blessing. And when I say that health is a blessing, it does not make me unlucky because I'm not healthy that way. But all I know is that when I say rebirth, it was a completely new me. It was a totally different person.

55:05And yes, there are lessons, there are mistakes. And I always say that even wrong people in your life, they become lessons. Bad times become lessons. Your mistakes become great lessons and you learn you grow you improve and that's what life journey is all about yeah i've got a couple final questions for you this has been inspiring and uh i i can't wait to meet you in person one day i have a couple a couple final questions for you but i want to i want everyone listening and watching to follow you you've got an amazing youtube channel I love your stuff on Instagram, your website, munibamazari.com, and also your name on social media everywhere.

55:47But one thing I want to do is figure out how can people see your art and purchase your art? Where can we go to learn more about this? Because I've seen some of it online. I think it's really inspiring. And I want to send people to your artwork because I think it's beautiful what you create. Thank you. um um well you can just drop an email i don't know this question came out of nowhere so i was like okay is there is there artwork on your website where people can purchase or where can we find it yes my artwork is on my website so what you can do is if you have some queries you can just send an email askmaniva mazari at gmail.com and my team will get back to you okay cool and can we is there stuff for sale online right now if we wanted to purchase it or do you Do you just do custom work or how does it work?

56:36A lot of work is still available, yes. Okay, perfect. Yes. Okay, I want to send people to your artwork. I want people to have more of your art in their homes or in their offices around the world. Thank you, Louis. Thank you. Appreciate it. Of course. It's really beautiful stuff. This is a question I ask everyone at the end of my interviews. So I would like you to imagine a hypothetical scenario that you get to live as long as you want to live and accomplish and achieve and serve in the way you want to serve to the world. And you get to live your life the way you want, right? But one day you have to go to the next place.

57:17You have to leave this earth. And for whatever reason, in this hypothetical scenario, you have to take all of your work with you. This interview, your videos, your content, it has to go to the next place. So we don't have access to your information in this message anymore. It's hypothetical. But you get to leave behind to the world three lessons that you've learned from your entire life experience. And these three lessons is all we would have to remember your content by. I call it the three truths question. what would be again without you preparing for this what would be those three truths or three lessons you would share if that's all you could share well um i would want the world to know what real success is everybody wants to become successful my definition of success is different success is not about how well people know you success is how well you know yourself Ooh, I like it.

58:23Right? So just know yourself. If you know yourself, you are successful. And secondly, be grateful. I wish I could say it a thousand times, but gratitude works wonders. When you are too busy complaining about what you don't have, think about a child who is suffering from telethymia, who is waiting for one bottle of blood and dreaming to have a life that you have. But you know what? You're too busy complaining. The breath that you just took right now, that's a blessing. Be grateful. You have survived a global pandemic. We are sitting here having a conversation. So many people have left the world.

59:15We are still here. Be grateful. So graduate. The attitude of gratitude works wonders. And last but not least, I've said this a thousand times, and I'll say it again, that you are the hero of your own story. And heroes never give up. So just don't give up and keep going. Muneeva, I love this. I want to acknowledge you, Muneeva, for your incredible grace. When I look at you, when I see your information online, when I hear you speak, the word grace comes to mind. How you've overcome the challenges in your life in such a graceful way. I'm not calling you perfect. I'm sure you have your own challenges.

59:57But you are so graceful in the way you speak, the way you communicate, your artwork, the way you carry yourself in the world. it's so inspiring to see a woman who has been through the challenges like you have overcome them with grace, with gratitude, with appreciation, and with saying, how can I continue to know myself better? How can I improve and how can I be of service to the people in my life to the best of my ability? So I want to acknowledge you for that. I want to acknowledge you for overcoming fears. I think it's easy to stay stuck in our fears. It's hard to break through them. It's hard to face them continually until they no longer have power over us.

1:00:45And so I would acknowledge you for also taking that on, even in your situation, and doing it in a culture that maybe isn't as accepting in certain ways that other cultures would be. So I really acknowledge you for that. And I acknowledge you for your consistency. You keep showing up and creating content and adding value to people. but you keep traveling to speak on stages. There are no limits that hold you back. And Maniba, I'm just really grateful and appreciate you for how you show up in the world. So I wanted to acknowledge you for that. I want people to follow you. I want them to check out your social media.

1:01:22Your YouTube is really inspiring. I want them to buy your artwork. So we'll have all this linked up for people as well in the description on our podcast and audio and also on YouTube. And I have one final question. It is, what is your definition of greatness? Hmm. How do I define greatness? How gracefully you let go of all the things and people who don't belong to your journey. How gracefully you let go of all that. That define your greatness. Your consistency, that defines your greatness. Maniba, you're amazing. You're a gift. I'm so grateful for you. I can't wait to see you in person when we get you to the United States sometime in the future.

1:02:07But thank you so much for your time and for coming on. I appreciate it. Thank you. Take care. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally, as well as ad-free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review.

1:02:45I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward. And I want to remind you if no one has told you lately that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.