The #1 Cause of Breakups & The Spiritual Secret To Attracting Healthy Love | David Ghiyam

27:24It's so painful to the giver. So now you're actually hurting the person. And you're blocking your abundance probably. Correct. There's a lot of people, and I've learned this early on, someone's going to come to you and give you a compliment. If you say, no, no, no, no, no, no, please, that's not me, or you block it, you're actually hurting the person. The greatest thing you can do when someone gives you a compliment is just say, thank you very much. Like, I really appreciate it. and after the compliment is made don't let that feed that part of you that has the abandonment issue the ego in you the ego in you or the lack in you and the pain in you the thing that your mom didn't give you your dad didn't give you so i kabbalah kind of goes into those murky places of the soul to clean it up because then you can go around town you can do everything without taking from the people without using the people you can just show up as a giver but as long as you need the approval for whatever you haven't healed or corrected, there's always going to be an element of taking in your giving.

28:21Interesting. What's been the biggest challenge you've faced in relationships? Personally? The thing that your soul came, that it's had to grow through, or it's still learning how to grow through? Because from the age of 15, when I learned Kabbalah. So I'm 40 now. From the age of 15, I learned Kabbalah. At the age of 19, I left school. I graduated school and I went to full-time volunteering teaching. So from 7 a.m. till 7 p.m., I met people one-on-one. And from 7 p.m. to 10 p.m., I would give one or two seminars. And I was in a position of how do I just add value to the world? And it was the most powerful thing I did and I did that.

29:05I do that till today except the last 10 years also I have a business. So I was put in a mode of how do I just take care of every single person. You call me until I am, I'm picking up the phone. Anywhere I went, there was an opportunity to take care of somebody. Give, give, give, give. Just give and by giving away that you really help them, like care for them, whatever. However, and I know, you know, I'm, and I feel like one of the things I learned, especially when I got married and you know my marriage we separated two years ago we are best friends today and we are like like there's no one in the world I love more than her no one and we have an incredible relationship now and you have four kids and my four kids and we have we have you have a business and we have a business we co-parent together we own a business fully together we are best friends we talk about everything there's no one I respect more in the world than her.

30:01One of the things I've learned in relationships and in dating is I totally shut down the part of me that needed to learn what I wanted and what makes me happy. I found happiness in vicariously living through everyone else's success. It's part of why I was broke from 20 to 32. I didn't have a penny. I couldn't afford a wedding ring. I had to buy a$100 plastic piece of wedding ring for Mary Ruth because we had no money. We were in debt. But part of it was my own belief system that I don't deserve to receive anything. I'm here for the public. I'm here for humanity. I'm here for whatever. And I was trained to think in Kabbalah.

30:50Here's the thing. Kabbalah taught me how to stop focusing on my selfishness and be a giver. But there's something else Kabbalah teaches, which I totally ignored, which is I also need to— Receive, right? The word Kabbalah means to receive. Really? It comes from the Hebrew word le kabel, which means to receive. But all you were doing is kind of going against it by being the most altruistic service person you could be. Correct. Because there are two parts to the spiritual path. One is to become like the creator, you need to become the giver. However, there's a second part. And the second part I ignored for whatever reason.

31:22I ignored the, okay, now when you're in that vibration of giving, you need to create a vessel, a desire. You need to know what you are. You need to know who you are. You need to know what you stand for. You need to know what makes you happy. You need to know what boundaries to put and what boundaries not to put in order to receive from the world. Because the creator can't be revealed unless we receive. The creator created the creation to reveal the creator. But if we don't receive, we are literally shutting down creation. So this has been one of the hardest things for me to deprogram. I mean, I have my Kabbalah colleagues I talk to regularly.

31:59I have coaches. I have mentors. I talk to you. I'm learning how to develop that part of me even as I date or as I kind of move on. How has that shown up for you then in relationship, intimate relationships in your 20s and I guess being married as well and now separated? Well, I'll tell you something. from the age of 20 till the day I got married I didn't date I didn't even look at one I didn't nothing I didn't even kiss a woman come on I'm telling you come on you kiss someone I didn't kiss for 10 years not until the night of my wedding no come on dude no way that's it 10 years 10 years why you didn't kiss one woman not one not even like a peck on the lips not come on man really not even a peck why Now, that's extreme.

32:50I don't think anybody else... You were monk mode. You were like, I'm in service, I'm a monk. Part of it is because I have an extreme personality. And I really wanted to be the best at whatever I do. Not until your wedding night? Not until my wedding night. Come on, dude. Did she... I never said this publicly. I don't know. I never said this publicly. So let's see how this is going to go. I mean, it's powerful. I don't know what kind of backlash I'm going to get after this. But what was my mindset? my mindset was I have a spiritual platform. I've seen many people in my position fall. Abuse it or.

33:24Abuse it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Obviously, I was surrounded by, you know, you're surrounded by. Celebrities and beautiful women and. All the time. People going through like heartbreak or going through tragedy that are coming to you and see you as a spiritual teacher. Correct. And then there's trans, because you're there for them. There's transference. There's all these things that happen. and I just said the simplest thing for me to do and I told the creator, I said, creator, when I'm ready for my soulmate, she will appear and I do not want to think about dating. I don't want to even turn on that part of me.

33:52And look, did it work for me? It did work for me because I met the most incredible woman in the world and were born on the same day, same year. I'm two hours older, February 11th, 1984. Our moms were in labor at the same time, two different parts of the world. And we attracted each other vibrationally because we were meant to come together and to create everything we've created. And I knew. I knew on day one when I met her, she's the one, end of story. I didn't care about anything else. And that was it. We got married. How did you know on day one you met her that she was the one? But also, she's not the one anymore.

34:29In an intimate, sexual relationship. In a romantic way, yes. However, she... Here's the thing about soulmates. there are many versions of soulmates there are many aspects to soulmates there are many parts of our soul that must match up with other souls i think so everyone's focused on like the one or the this or the that i like to shift my focus to i am the one i have to focus on i am the one because the only reason i'm here is to transform myself into create a vessel for the light of the created, which manifests as prosperity and love and all the beautiful things of this world. And we will meet people for whatever karmic reason and whatever past life reason and whatever this life reason to help us become the best version of ourselves.

35:20For whatever reason, you know, and obviously I want to be careful because we're talking about other souls and I want to be also respect their privacy. But for whatever reason, it was, we felt, it was deemed that our souls, in order to elevate to its next level, had to elevate them this way. And this is why our relationship today is, I mean, it's almost like strange for a lot of people because the love that we have, like if she needed a kidney, I would be first in line to get to. Wow. Right? So you're still soulmates in a certain way, but you just have transformed the intimate relationship. Absolutely.

35:58And by the way, when I date, I make that clear on day one. Not that - What do you say? I say, look, the most important person in my life is the mother of my children. Right. Because, and I've seen this, if you look at the mother of your children as your children, this is the highest vibration, I believe. Because all the reasons why we don't, and I don't want to put a, like, this is how it is for everyone. I want to be very sensitive, because everyone has very different situations. And there's so many karmic, so many difficult, painful situations. And I'm really sensitive to that, and I've seen it and felt it, but the goal should be, the desire should be, if I had no ego and I had no fears and I had no personal issues, how would I treat the mother of my children and the father of my children?

36:50It goes both ways. So many separations and divorces I see because maybe one person's hurt or one person got rejected. Then there's a power play. then they want to hurt back. You know, there's a situation I know where like they're prolonging the divorce and making sure that they don't get the money because she stopped loving him and she loved somebody else. So he wants to teach her a lesson. Like all of these things, it's all, and I get it because by the way, when you're in it, it's very painful because now what's happening, you feel betrayed or you feel this or you feel whatever. Yeah. But your soul came to this world to correct and cleanse and heal betrayal.

37:31Your soul saw that at the age of 25, you were asked for this woman to come in. And at the age of 38, she had to be taken away from you just so you could finally experience betrayal and transform it. But in a past life, when this happened, what you did was you prolonged the divorce. You hurt her. You told the children that she's not a good person. You played games. So when your soul left this world, in the upper world, they made the calculation. They said, hey, listen, you only came to this world to heal betrayal and to love this other person unconditionally, even after she hurt you. When your soul leaves your body, it sees everything.

38:13There's no ego. So the soul says, oh, my God, I can't believe I spent the last 80 years. I totally didn't get it. All I did is hurt her. All I did is run after other forms of instant gratification. I ran after another relationship just to numb the pain and I didn't work on my soul's correction That's considered hell hell is the soul seeing all the missed opportunity What does the soul do? The soul says please put me back into this world So I can correct it. I can correct it. I want to be back with her again. Oh man I want to be back with her again. I want this whole situation I want it to be exactly the way it was.

38:51Oh by the way that guy that she cheated on with make sure he's there exactly the way he is. Oh no, so I could correct it. So I could correct it. Oh my gosh. Oh my God. Because the soul also sees that if he were to correct it, this world that's waiting for him, this new soulmate, this new wealth, this new everything, the wisdom, he saw all of it. He's like, oh my God, like if any parts of the challenge was diminished, so would the reward be diminished. And he would not want that. And the soul begs to come back in and then the process starts over. And then there's an astrological date where the soul comes in.

39:26And then based on that time and that place and that unique, exactly spiritual vortex, the soul is attracted to exactly the astrological influences that match its soul's correction. That's why that soul came at that moment. And then there's certain parents involved and the whole thing starts over. Wow. This also, I don't know why I feel called to say this, But I'm just going to say it because maybe somebody needs to hear it. Say it. And every time I've shared this, for the last 20 years, there's always been at least one person that came up to me and said, because they heard this, they transformed their way of thinking about committing suicide.

40:08I don't know why I'm sharing it, but I'm sharing it now.

40:12suicide is the complete shutdown of the desire to receive it's basically saying i do not want to receive anything which we have now learned the whole purpose of creation is to receive so when a person takes their life it creates such a um such a soul correction that the soul has to come back. So what's happening here is when a really great soul, an elevated soul, has a lot of karmic debt as a result of being a great soul, they will go through certain periods of darkness. It could be mental illness. I mean, many things, circumstances that will make them feel there's no escape. There's no way out.

40:56There's no hope. I mean, so much pain, so much suffering, so much depression, so much agony. What's the point? Correct. And it gets to a place where they start to contemplate suicide. Those thoughts, those feelings, those desires, there's nothing to be ashamed of. We have to know that your soul is so powerful. It's meant to do so many great things, but you're not allowed to see it. Because if you could see it, you wouldn't pass the test. It's actually, when a person is contemplating death, it's actually because of the highness of their soul and what they're meant to do, which they are not allowed to be shown.

41:33However, what they need to know is, at that moment, if they do take their life, let's say at the age of 36, in two months, two weeks, at 2 p.m., they have this intense desire to leave this world. It is because in a past life, at the exact same moments, they had this desire and they took it. then the soul leaves and says oh my god if I had just waited an hour a day a week if I had just pushed through every problem was about to be solved everything the soul sees it and again it begs to come back and it begs to go through the same painful torturous traumatic process up until the age of 36 and I always tell people if you're thinking about this you must know that you've been in this situation maybe hundreds or thousands of times before.

42:22This is the moment you can actually break the cycle. And you must know that if it's this dark, this bad, that is equivalent to the greatness that will come. One time I shared this. In one of my classes, a woman came up to me and said, I need to tell you something. This is the end of a 10-week course. She said that about 15 weeks ago, you know, she was very overweight. She had a lot of problems. She was being bullied. I think she was in her early 20s. She said, I decided that I didn't want to live in this world anymore. I went into my room and I was kind of talking out loud to the creator, to the world.

43:02I think she was Christian, she was spiritual. Then she saw a book on her shelf. It was a book that her late father had given her because he saw that she was struggling and it was actually a Kabbalah book. It's called Power of Kabbalah. What's it called? Power of Kabbalah. So she's drawn to the book. She's remember her father gave it to me. She never read it. She took the book out. Then she started to read a few pages, and she felt like there's some soul connection to it. And then she flipped to the back of the page and saw where is there Kabbalah seminars. And then she saw that I was opening one a week later.

43:40She said, you know what? My father gave me this book. maybe my father's speaking to me. I'm going to go to this. But then she put it in her calendar. After the 10 weeks, she was going to end her life. She comes up to me at the end of the 10 weeks. She actually told me this, and she got up in the class and said it. She said, look, tonight is the night I was supposed to take my life. Holy cow. But I've gone through this journey, and now I see that I'm meant for great things. even though I was bullied, even though I'm overweight, even though I can't find a healthy relationship, even though I feel not loved.

44:15Is she with her the whole thing? Beyond my logical mind, I am choosing to know that I am a vessel for great things, even though I cannot see it. She ended up becoming such a miraculous woman, doing incredible things, so much so that at an event we had with 3 ,000 people, she got up there, she had lost the weight, she had a relationship, so many things happened, and she got up, she told the story. And she's living her best life. And it's so powerful. So I don't know why we're talking about it, but whoever needs to hear it needs to know, no matter what your situation is, to the extent of the darkness you're going through, to the extent of the confusion you have, and to the extent you cannot see the future, to the extent of the greatness that is waiting for you.

44:59And you've been in the situation. Wow. So the bigger the pain, the bigger the greatness on the other side. If you're willing to go through it, make conscious decisions to improve your vessel of spiritual growth. 100%. I feel like I've only asked one question and we've already been going so deep on this. And I want to bring it back to a grounded thing that you talked about towards the beginning that

45:28we as human beings and we're talking about relationships, but we as human beings from your perspective, from your beliefs, from these principles and these laws, our entire mission is, should be thinking about how do I build my spiritual soul's vessel? How do I build a greater vessel within my soul so that I have the capacity to take on greater challenges and greater abundance? Would that be a correct statement for you? That would be correct. So it's about we should be focusing on our soul's vessel, not how do I meet the guy, how do I meet the girl to give me love, to make me feel love, to make me look good on social media, to have fun with.

46:12We shouldn't be thinking about that when trying to create a relationship or get into a relationship. And again, this whole topic is about really how to manifest a committed relationship and stop attracting toxic partners, stop attracting relationships that feel like, gosh, they're great for the first six months. And then there's just breakdown and problem and breakdown. But then I'm already chemically and emotionally entangled and sexually entangled. And then I'm the parents and I already planned out the wedding and all these things. And how do I get out of this now? And then I repeat the cycle over and over again.

46:42And what I'm hearing you say through all this is that most people are thinking that way, as opposed to how do I build my soul and my spiritual vessel to be its greatest it can be. And then from that place, start dating. Beautiful. Start having conversations. Beautiful. Flirt with someone. Hey, let's go get a coffee. Let's go for a hike. Let's go walk. Let's do an activity together. And just start having conversations from a place of what it sounds like a healing journey. Unbelievable. A journey of wanting to expand. A journey of how can I make this moment great? How can I be of service in this moment?

47:21Not how can I get something from someone or how can I gain pleasure or feel good about myself? How can I create that within? How can I know that I am the one for me? I don't need someone else to be the one. And when I become the vessel for myself that is needed to serve my highest purpose in this moment, in this day, then I will be able to see people that I feel like are more in alignment with that vision as well. that they are more in alignment with creating a spiritual vessel within themselves. And then we can start to have conversations. Do we align spiritually with our life's mission? Is there alignment as opposed to when are we going to have sex?

48:04When can I get a kiss from this person? When are they going to buy me something? Is he the one? Is he the one? I don't know. What do my girlfriends think? What do they think? Do they like him? We're asking the wrong questions. Complete distraction. They're all distractions. Why are we so distracted when we're dating and looking at all the wrong things? Why is it happening for so many people? When the soul came to this world, it asked for an opponent. And we all have an opponent. It's an energetic force. It's actually a positive force disguised as a negative one whose only job is to, at our level, challenge us, make us feel doubts, worries, and fears.

48:42So for example... So that's supposed to happen for everyone. That happens on everyone on their spiritual level. As you grow spiritually, so does your opponent because of the bread of shame in order to earn everything. So people ask me, because I make mistakes. I make mistakes every day. People are like, wait, you've been studying Kabbalah for 25 years. Life's worked. The first thing they said is, how did your marriage not work? I said, no one should ever say their marriage did not work. Nobody. Forget about me. Nobody should say that. Nobody should say that that last relationship didn't work because then you're basically saying the creator made a mistake.

49:19Everything worked as it should have. The only thing we need to focus on is what we can do to transform our vessel. Some people may need to have five marriages. I don't know. Some people may need to only have one. Sometimes they say the soulmate or the, you know, a different level of soulmate comes in the second marriage. There's many different opinions and spiritual writings. But what we know for sure is you are here. It is only you in the light of the creator. Everything else is there designed for your greatness. So every time you say something, it was a waste of time. Every time you say something, it was a mistake.

49:59Every time you say he is toxic, she is toxic, he's a bad person, all you're doing is shrinking your vessel and delaying your wedding day. Let's say you just got out of a relationship that you found to be painful every day that you tell people That was toxic that I wish I never got into it. It was horrible She was horrible and they wasted my life and it stole time from me and my best years are beyond me and all all these things All of these things he he or she robbed me of my best every word that you say on that vibration Delays the meeting of your soulmate by another hour Imagine that. So instead, choose today to bless this person, to love this person, to reach out.

50:48I mean, look, there's work involved here, right? I'm saying the headline, but there's work involved. And if someone has sexually abused you or harmed you or been emotionally abusive or controlled and done some horrible things, what do you say to maybe a man or a woman who's like, no, this person was just horrible? It wasn't just, oh, they were emotionally abusive here and there, and it was like a waste of like four years of my life, but they beat me, they sexually abused me, they freaking, you know, cheated on me with my best friend behind my back for years and lied about it. Like, what if they did some really bad things?

51:20How do you bless and want the best for someone who's really hurt you? This is a very horrible thing. It's a very painful thing. This is, I hope that no one has to go through this. I hope that my children, my children went through this, It's like, horrible thing. We must acknowledge that that is a painful thing, that is a horrible thing. And by the way, if someone came to me and said that, I wouldn't be like, well, everything's from the creator and you need to see it as good. Absolutely not. We need to be there for people and feel their pain and empathize with them and go down into the mud and the disgusting, painful situation with them.

52:00And we cannot judge them for it. That's number one. Now, Now, if you're asking me, how do I get to the ultimate results where I will be happy and I will have my greatest life and I will have miracles and I will have success and I will find my soulmate quickly? I would say, if you could at least start with the desire and the prayer to the universe and say, look, I'm not there. I'm angry. I'm frustrated. I am in pain. I feel like garbage. I feel so betrayed and hurt. I am at the bottom. but I desire to not be there. I desire to be on the vibration of love. I don't know how I'm going to get there, but you start there, it says that the universe remobilizes all the forces in this world to support you to get there.

52:50You will always be led by your desire. If you desire, for example, to rob a bank, the creator will show you how to do it. You will be sent thieves. you will be sent other people who are on that vibration who want to steal from the bank and you will manifest it. A thief, a very good thief could also be a very good businessman and a very good husband because he knows how to manifest his desire. His desire is to steal. Now imagine you take that desire and you shift it to something positive. When I was 14 years old, I started I ended up playing poker like eight, nine hours a day. I was trading in the stock market.

53:32I was addicted to gambling. At 14? At 14, 15. How do you have money to do these things? I mean, at 15, I made my first million dollars because I was obsessed. I had all this energy. I didn't know what to do with it. How did you make a million dollars at 15? It was, I asked my father for a little bit. My parents really believed in me. They saw my, I said, look, you give me a little bit of money. I will bring it back 24th. So he's like, all right, fine, trade in this account. And I had fun with it. So it was through the stock market. It was through the stock market. And I went to a casino. It was a very interesting time.

54:08So I brought all of this kind of energy, which is really interesting, because I did a Kabbalistic chart reading when I was like 16 years old when I first came to study Kabbalah. I said nothing. I sat there. He said, based on the time, the place, everything. thing. And there's also intuition involved because people feel your soul. People feel things. They see things. She said, she looked at it. She said, past life gambler. I said, what? She said, based on your chart, you have an addictive personality, past life gambler. And it's one of the things you need to correct in this life. And you were already starting it as a teenager.

54:45She had no clue. I'm 16 years old. I think she's thinking, hey, be careful when you get older. She said to me, she said, for you to fulfill your correction, I would avoid casinos. What's interesting, yeah. So after I heard that, I realized, oh my God, this desire I have, which I've been channeling through gambling and addictive behavior, if I could channel all of this desire and energy into helping people, it's the same methodology. It's just desire. And then the creator will help me with that. So then I'm like, well, what's the greatest thing I can put my energy into to be successful? I always wanted to be a building there when I was young.

55:24That's why my parents were like, you're doing what? I graduated UCLA, top of my class. I had a perfect score on my SATs. I had everything going for me. I was supposed to go to Ivy League school. I was supposed to be their golden child. My brother's a physician. Everybody loves him. I'm from a Persian family in Los Angeles. And I told my parents, I want to join a nonprofit and teach Kabbalah. They said, you want to what? They said, how much money are you going to make? I said, no, no, you don't make money. Yeah, you pay. Yeah, exactly. They're like, wait, what? How are you going to live? I said, no, they pay for my housing and my food, and I get to focus on the people.

56:03They're like, well, how are you going to raise your family? I'm like, I don't know. How are you going to, what woman's ever going to want to be with you? I said, I don't know. I said, all I know is I believe that if I can channel my energy to help other people find their soulmate and other people find their wealth and other people, according to the spiritual laws, I will get everything. I don't know how it's going to happen. They lost their mind. But, you know, they totally lost their mind for a couple of years. But my mom always told me, she said, look, I always knew that you'd figure things out.

56:37So we didn't totally freak out. My parents trusted the process. My brother trusted the process. And, you know, here, and you were putting your energy towards good, you were being in service. So what parents are going to say, stop helping people? You were focusing your energy on something positive as opposed to, I'm going to go just travel the world and take drugs all day or something. You weren't like, I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm just going to figure it out for five or 10 years. You were like, I'm on a mission. I'm here to serve. I'm here to learn. I'm here to help humanity. Correct.

57:09And they thought it was very noble, but they're like, can you just do it a couple hours Right, right, right. Yeah. Can you make money doing it? Can you make money? I mean, like you had made money and you have the potential and like, you know, they're thinking like parents, like, how are you going to live? Like, how are you going to, who's going to take care of you? I remember when I got married, I had a couple thousand dollars in my bank account from birthday money I had saved up. And you never kissed anyone. Never kissed anyone. I had a bad experience. And I didn't have, I didn't have a credit card.

57:36I didn't have credit. I remember we had to like sign a lease and I'm like, I don't have any credit. What's credit? I didn't even know what was going on. And I mean, we'll talk about this probably in the business podcast because that began my business. That began the most miraculous journey of miracle after miracle to create, you know, what's today married with organics. That was the moment. So the first 10 years of my life, it was about how to just create that spiritual vessel. And I believe, you know, I don't know how many people, it's probably in the millions of people I got to connect with and touch and whatever.

58:14And also not having receipts for myself, I think helped tremendously. It helps to become pure because you're not thinking about, well, what am I going to take from this person? Or how much are you going to pay me? Or it was really a beautiful thing. I do believe without a shadow of a doubt, those 10 years created the vessel for the - For abundance. For the vessel of abundance that came through Mary Woods, which we'll talk about in the next book. That's powerful. Now, here's a question I think everyone is asking, which is, how do we get on the vibration of love to be able to receive the love we want?

58:49How do we get on the vibration of love to be able to get the love we want to receive? First thing that comes to mind is you can only receive what you believe you deserve to receive. that's the first question i would ask all of us because you could read all of the books about love and dating and relationships you could be on all the apps you could have the best photos you could have the best profile you could have a matchmaker out there scouring the earth to find your soulmate you could have a beautiful physique and have amazing personality however your belief system about receiving is your capacity to receive.

59:39This goes for financial well-being, but especially love. And I ask this question to myself and I tell everyone to ask it to themselves. What do you believe you deserve to receive? And it's very interesting because if you really look deep down inside, it's not just like one answer. It's a pie chart. If I take this pie chart. There's probably 50 % that believes I deserve to be in a healthy relationship. There's probably 20 % that you're not aware of that believes you should be in an abusive one. Why do people think they deserve to be in an abusive relationship? Maybe they saw that, maybe they did something shameful in their life that they're not aware of consciously.

1:00:27And what do we do with shame? We hide and we diminish ourselves. So we subconsciously want someone to diminish us in order to not feel guilty about the shame. So the way we say is 20 % that kind of desire, 50 % could just be a really healthy desire for love. Then there's maybe 20 % that I want my freedom and I have a belief system that relationships equal a loss of freedom. Or I'm trapped or if I'm committed, then I'm going to miss out on something else or whatever it might be. Correct. Maybe there's another 10 % that believes that relationships are a really beautiful thing to help you grow spiritually, which is a very positive desire.

1:01:08You look at this pie chart, you will see that this pie chart represents your entire dating life. You will see that maybe the 50%, because it's the bigger part of the pie, you go in these relationships that last three to six months and they're very healthy. But then the 20 % of I don't deserve kicks in or the 20 % of I need my freedom kicks in. And when that desire kicks in, you start to self-sabotage. And you're not aware of it. So you start to become avoidant. You start to do things that are not in line with what you were before. And here's the thing. It's not about judging anyone. I tell people, I'm very curious always.

1:01:48If someone was loving you for three to six months and then all of a sudden they're not present and they're avoidant, they're not a narcissist. They're not, oh, he love-bombed me and he manipulated me. No, that's not what... I get that's what we say to try to understand our pain, but if you really look at it on a soul level, everything is happening commensurate with the desires of the person that they came to heal, that you both chose to find each other for in order to do it. Whether it's for our nights or weeks or months or years. Correct. And they are not allowed to enter your orbit unless your soul gave permission.

1:02:27You cannot get into the king's chamber. There are so many guards around the king and walls. If someone got into your life, into the king's chamber, if they're sitting at dinner with you and you're having a conversation, you start dating, do you know how much permission must have been given spiritually? For decades, for centuries, just for that moment for the person to show up at the same moment as you. 100%. All the things that had to go wrong or go right in order for you guys to meet in that moment. 100%. Isn't it crazy to think? It's unbelievable. It's profound. It makes me feel like, wow, this world is so big and so vast and so amazing how small we are.

1:03:03But we get into our, I know what's going on. And then here's the thing. The social media algorithm knows what we're going through. So they just validate it and paint. Yeah, yeah. Over and over again. Yeah. It's not like if I am trying to find out about abusive relationships, I just keep getting videos that acknowledge the abuse and makes it harder for me to actually do my soul correction. My vessel shrinks more and more. My vibration drops. And I will have to go to a very painful situation to restart that whole process. Now, I want to ask you a very important question. what is the difference between what men want and what women want in a healthy long-term relationship?

1:03:54And before you answer it, for anyone watching and listening right now, leave a comment below of the biggest takeaway so far that this episode has supported you with. So if you're watching on YouTube, leave a comment below, like this video, share with a friend. And if you're listening on Apple, Spotify, wherever it might be, share this with someone and ask them their biggest takeaway on this episode. And the question is, what on a soul level do men and women really want and are there differences? And before you answer, I want to let people know that they have to follow and subscribe in order to get the answer because we're going to go into part two on relationships with this question.

1:04:39So again, what men and women really want on a soul level, we're going to do a full second episode on this topic right now that will come out soon. So make sure to follow this, subscribe. I think there's a lot here to get people started with. I want to recap a few things. And before you continue, people should know you and I, we go, we read, Louis messages me like all day long. Look at this comment. Look at this question. What do you think of this? We are reading everything. We're reading it all. And we're sharing it with each other. and so this isn't like bots or our team. Lewis and I have a text chain.

1:05:13Look at this, look at this, look at this. Yeah, look at this. Do you see this? People are coming up to us left and right and saying, oh, the first episode, we'll have the first episode also linked up so you can go through that and I think that'll be important if this is the first time you're hearing about this or someone sent you this, go watch the first episode we did. But there's a few things here and again, we're going to go into a part two in a second but there's a few things here I want to recap. The whole thing should be figuring out how do I build my vessel on a spiritual and soul level and expand it for healthy, abundant, harmonious, aligned love?

1:05:46I think a lot of people who are single or struggling in relationships are trying to figure out how do we make this work? How do I find the right partner? How do I find my soulmate, which is what we're going to go into? What do men and women really want? How do I think like them? I'm done with men. I'm done with women. All these things, right? And we're talking about in this episode is how do I build my spiritual soul's vessel? And I will have a really powerful example for you when we do the next show. It just came to me. I'm going to share that example of how I've seen a man change overnight because a woman took some spiritual advice and shifted her consciousness.

1:06:25She literally woke up the next day and said, I didn't recognize my husband. Wow. So how you can shift your partner, you know, in a powerful way. Don't try to change your partner, but how do you shift it to a destiny where your partner, you're like, wait, that's not the same human I even married. Interesting. But one of the things that you said here that I think really resonated with me, that I think a lot of people, if they can learn how to do this, which I want to actually go into in the second episode, is how do we build the belief that we are deserving of the love we want? Which I don't think we didn't talk about how to shift the belief of how to believe differently that we are deserving.

1:07:03So I want to talk about that as well in this second part and understanding how you need to be the one, not finding the one as well. And how do we build that up? We're going to be talking about that in episode two on relationships. So again, make sure to like this, leave a comment below. What are some of the questions that you have? What's your biggest takeaway? Share this with one friend and we're going to learn more on the second episode. So David, thank you so much for being here. And we'll have everything linked up as well with the previous episode and what you're working on. But I'm very excited for what people are going to learn in the second episode.

1:07:38I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally, as well as ad-free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review. I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward.

1:08:15And I want to remind you if no one has told you lately that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.