The Mindset That Turned Losing Both Legs Into a Paralympic Medal | Amy Purdy

15:11Lewis Howes:What if you didn't have all these challenges physically, emotionally, that most people have never experienced? Do you think you could have had a great life still?

15:20Amy Purdy:I don't think I would have had a life with as much meaning.

15:25Lewis Howes:Really?

15:25Amy Purdy:Oh, for sure.

15:26Lewis Howes:Without the pain, the suffering, the surgeries, you don't think it would have been as meaningful? Oh yeah, for sure.

15:31Amy Purdy:I mean, I think I would have been a massage therapist. I would have loved helping people because that's what I was doing before. I have no idea where I would have gone after that. But I think that our challenges bring us into the depths of life. They help us experience life to its fullest. We think that our challenges stop us from experiencing life to the fullest, but really it's what opens the door so that we can experience life to the fullest.

15:58Lewis Howes:I think a lot of people need to hear this because most people are running away from their challenges. They're running away from their pain and their problems.

16:06Amy Purdy:Right.

16:06Lewis Howes:And I'm not saying you should live a life of problem and pain all day long. No. But what I'm hearing you say is that your challenges and the pain and the biggest struggles you've been through have given you the most meaning and fulfillment as well. How can someone think that way who is in the middle of so much pain and sadness right now in their own personal life?

16:26Amy Purdy:Yeah. How do they start to believe, maybe this is happening for me.

16:30Lewis Howes:I just don't know what it's for yet.

16:32Amy Purdy:Right. Gosh, I think it's just, I really think we have to lean into our challenges. It's leaning into the challenge. I know that that's hard, and it's hard in the moment because we're trying to run away from our challenges. But actually, where we learn, where we grow, where we learn who we are is by leaning into the challenge is what can we extract from it that can help us move forward, even if it's the smallest little thing in that moment. Because like I said, that would grow, whatever it is that you can lean into in that moment to just find the light, to find the sliver of hope, whatever it may be, just to focus on that, that then grows.

17:14Amy Purdy:And because it is hard, when you're in the thick of challenge, It's hard to see the other side of it. If you're dealing with anxiety, for example, you cannot be inspired. It's impossible. You cannot see a vision for yourself in the future. You are in the here and now. You are stuck. but if you can find these little like just moments that pull you through whatever that may be and lean on that, that's what helps to get you through. And you know when I wrote this book, so I wrote 21 chapters, 21 different kind of topics and the topics were all struggles that I had and the tools are what helped me get through those struggles and I just started to realize there are things that are helping me get through.

18:00Amy Purdy:Like, yes, if I'm overwhelmed, but it's like, okay, now I'm not overwhelmed. So what's helping me get through that? Oh, it's because I started to compartmentalize. I started to segment my life a little bit. Like, I'm going to focus on this one thing and just that, and then get through that. And then I'll focus on the next thing and then get through that. When I was 19 years old, I lost my kidneys, my spleen, my hearing, and my left year all at once. I was going to a doctor's appointment one day to work on legs. The next day, I'd have to go to a kidney appointment to figure out if I was going to have to have a kidney transplant.

18:38Amy Purdy:The next day, I'd have to go to a hearing appointment to figure out if I needed a hearing. And this was all at 19 years old. And it was so overwhelming, and it could completely crush you. But what I started doing is focusing on one thing at a time. So I would say, okay, hey, you know what? This week is just leg week. That's it. I'm not thinking about my other problems. I'm not thinking about my kidneys. I'm not thinking about if I need a hearing aid. I'm just thinking about my legs and that's it. And then the next week would be, okay, now we're focused on my kidney. Do I need a kidney transplant?

19:14Amy Purdy:Let's get blood work, everything that we have to get. And just by kind of segmenting things out, it got rid of that overwhelm. And I've used that throughout the rest of my life. I mean, it's something that you can use, whether you're going through challenges, like compartmentalize can help you go through challenges, but also help you rise above and achieve the things that you want to achieve as well. If you, you know, if you're busy and you're overwhelmed, because you have good things going on, you just start to kind of compartmentalize things a little bit. I think I, you know, through my challenges, I just started to realize there were things that I was leaning on that were helping me to get through instead of just, um, Oh, feeling completely out of control.

20:01Amy Purdy:When we really pay attention to like, what is it that just brightened my day? What is it that just changed my mood and lean into that and really focus on that? Then that, you know, that can change your entire day.

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21:41Lewis Howes:Target candidates by skills, certifications, or location. Join the 3.3 million employers worldwide that use Indeed to connect with quality talent that fits their needs. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress, less time, more results now with Indeed Sponsored Jobs. And listeners of this show will get a$75 dollar sponsored job credit to help you get your job the premium status it deserves at indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring, do it the right way with Indeed. That's so true that you talk about that because I was going through some just personal internal stuff last night and it was hard for me to sleep and I woke up still feeling kind of stressed out this morning.

22:32Lewis Howes:And I just had twin girls that were five months old. So I was just like, you know what? I need to get out of myself and focus on my girls. I went in, I held one of them. I took them for a walk. And it just allowed me to focus on the present rather than the stuff I'm stressed about. And it gave me kind of more of that purpose and that grounded energy, putting that towards that as opposed to the problems or the stress and the anxiety. And I think if we can all find that type of tool for ourselves to get grounded in the present, that's hopefully going to help you get over that stress.

23:02Amy Purdy:Exactly. Exactly. I mean, you know, we can easily focus on our problems and then, I mean, and you would think that your whole world is over and you think it's the end of the world, you know, or you focus on the things that are going right and you realize that you have so much. And I mean, you know, I have been through a lot, of course, but I've also had such an incredible life of figuring out the possibilities living the possibilities but I wouldn't have figured that stuff out if I didn't have the

23:33Lewis Howes:problems that I had gosh so the problems kind of gave you purpose it sounds like that's crazy yeah

23:39Amy Purdy:I think yeah go ahead go ahead no I was going to say I really do believe that our problems bring us closer to ourselves they bring us closer to our relationships they bring us closer to God and they can bring you closer to your purpose if you're if you lean into them if you learn from them.

23:59Lewis Howes:If you try to run from your problems, what usually happens?

24:02Amy Purdy:Oh, gosh. Then you just, I mean, you would just collapse and you would feel completely out of control. You would feel, you would feel broken. You'd feel like your problems have completely broken you down and crushed you because you have to let them out, you know, and problems are, we all face them. These are, I know that mine might be more visible because I've got prosthetic legs and, And, you know, on the cover of my book, I've got a prosthetic leg there too. But we all have challenges, right? Like big and small. And so, and really that's what this book is for as well. It's not just for the big problems.

24:39Amy Purdy:It's for our daily challenges that we face. I mean, even little stuff like this, like you might be driving through traffic and somebody cuts you off and you spill your coffee on yourself and now your day is totally ruined. And, you know, there's a moment where you can make a choice there on how you're going to handle that problem. And it really is in the pause. I call it the power of the pause because if you can pause, you can decide what direction you want to go.

25:07Lewis Howes:Yeah, yeah.

25:08Amy Purdy:And you can say, wait a second, okay, you know, this person's a jerk and it's going to ruin my whole day. Or you can say, maybe this person just got a phone call that their kid is in the hospital and, you know, they just pulled out in front of you. Like that completely just shifts your perspective in that moment. And so I think that there's just these tools. We think that people who are like positive and happy and strong and live a good life are just that way. But I think we lean on tools and practices and different mindset shifts in order to be that way.

25:43Lewis Howes:Absolutely. Now, I'm curious about identity and how you've learned to think about your own identity with all the changes you've had to experience? Because a lot of people, they have their own identity, but if they go through a divorce or a breakdown or bankruptcy or some type of health challenge, it rocks their identity. How did you learn to step into a new identity that you didn't even know you had because the old one was taken from you?

26:11Amy Purdy:Right. I've had to step into quite a few different identities. I mean, when I lost my legs at 19, right, that was stepping into a whole, suddenly I was somebody who had a disability, which I never could have really imagined that that would be my life. So I had to wrap my head around what that meant and how people viewed me as well. But really, I think for me, it was just taking ownership of it. It's like, I lost both of my legs, but this is who I am. I never covered it up. People would look at me a little bit differently at first, and I had to get comfortable with that. But I felt way more comfortable being me than not being me.

26:55Amy Purdy:And so the more that I showed up, then I started wearing dresses and heels, and you'd see my bionic legs, and then people would talk to me about my legs. And then, you know, it helped me embrace my legs and my situation as well. Kind of the more that I got brave with it and just became more comfortable with myself, that's kind of when things started to, my whole life started to flow kind of from that point forward. But I started to meet people. I started to get more comfortable with other people as well. And so it just became my new identity. but by making that choice again that I wasn't going to hide it you know I wasn't going to hide who I was now I was going to embrace it even if I wasn't comfortable with it and and and I had to do the same a couple years ago when you know I severely injured my left leg that was seven years ago, I ended up losing the entire arterial system of my left leg.

27:56Amy Purdy:So I got a blood clot from my hip down every artery of my left leg. And that was from doing all the sports that I was doing on prosthetic legs. So having carbon fiber legs that are kind of pushing in, you know, and you're snowboarding seven hours a day, walking through airports, standing on stage speaking, whatever it maybe, going to the gym afterwards, all of that ended up damaging the arteries of my left leg. It damaged my popliteal artery and then shut down my entire femoral artery. And I went through major surgeries, 10 surgeries in the course of two and a half years, I think. And it was all during COVID.

28:39Amy Purdy:So I'd be in the hospital by myself for days at a time. And I had to step into a completely new identity after that happened because I went from losing my legs when I was 19 to living this incredible life of sport and athletics and dance with the stars. And then I was on Oprah's stage speaking and traveling the world and felt completely capable, 100 % capable. It's so comfortable in my legs as well to now being knocked off my feet again, not even sure if I'd be able to go back to do those things that I worked so hard to do.

29:16Lewis Howes:It was almost harder, it sounds like, the second time around. It was. Because the first time, it was obviously life-altering, but it unlocked a whole world of possibilities. The second time around, it almost sounds like, oh, all these possibilities might stop now because of these challenges. That's interesting. That's scary.

29:37Amy Purdy:Yeah. And that's why it was so hard. That's why I say that the first time I was fighting for my life, but the second time I was fighting for the quality of my life. Wow, yeah. And that made it that much harder because now you're like, I'm here on earth and this is how I'm going to live the rest of my life. And am I going to be the person that I was? Am I the person that I thought I was? Who am I if I'm not doing the things that I was doing that I thought defined me? Who am I now if I can't do those things? If every single thing is just stripped away, who are you?

30:12Lewis Howes:Yes. So what did you discover who you were in that process?

30:15Amy Purdy:I discovered, let me think, I discovered that, I'll tell you what, it very much so softened me. Really? Instead of being very clear and maybe, not clear, but like.

30:32Lewis Howes:Driven or something?

30:33Amy Purdy:Yeah, I was very, very driven before. And I still am. But it softened me to be a little bit more receptive and let people around me help me. I think for so long, I wanted to share and show just how capable I was.

30:48Lewis Howes:I could do it. Yeah. I mean, we all want to feel that way, right?

30:51Amy Purdy:And people say, oh, she has prosthetic legs. Like, do you need help with something? I'd be like, I'm fine. I'm an athlete. Like, I traveled the world, you know, and I dragged my snowboard bags all around the world. Like, I'm good. But now, I really, this softened me in a completely different way, in a very, very good way that allowed other people to not just help me, but I became more receptive, I think. And it connected me to my relationships better. And it made me feel more grounded. Like it is when you go through those challenges that you start questioning, why are we here? What is the purpose of this?

31:31Amy Purdy:And how do I want to live the rest of my life? And when you really can have those deep moments, that's when you learn the most about yourself. That's when you learn the most about what you want for your life and what really matters in life. And for me, I realized it was just the simple stuff. It's, you know, my relationships. My mom was amazing. She took care of me while I was going through all of this. My husband was absolutely incredible. It completely transformed our relationship. I went from being, you know, traveling and just being so, I don't know, just so independent to allowing him to totally step in, take care of things.

32:14Amy Purdy:And he stepped up in a way that I never could have imagined. He would be cleaning the house every day, taking care of me, started cooking every day. I realized how nurturing he was. And I never saw that before, like quite like that. And I think it's because I didn't need it. But once I needed it, it allowed him to rise into a version that he wasn't able to express before either.

32:41Lewis Howes:Wow. Because you never allowed him to, it sounds like. Right. You're like, no, I got this. I can do these things.

32:47Amy Purdy:Right.

32:47Lewis Howes:I'll handle it.

32:48Amy Purdy:Yeah, I think, yeah, I really think that our challenges can teach us so much. And that's what going through what I went through, it was a seven-year journey of getting back on my feet to walk again. And I'm still in it because I have prosthetic legs. So it's like actually getting my legs to be comfortable enough to walk in. That's like the second phase of the journey that I'm in right now. But the first phase, it's like when you're going through the depths, you allow yourself to be in the moment and lean into what you're going through instead of trying to resist it. You can learn so much. And those moments become some of your most, I think, grounded special moments.

33:35Amy Purdy:because like I said, people are there for you. You realize people are there for you when you need them the most. That's amazing. What else can you ask for in life? But to have those moments of being grounded and knowing that you're supported and being connected with others, I think that's one of the most important things that we have on earth and that we need is that support.

34:00Lewis Howes:I think challenges also teach us, allow other people in our lives to support us, but they also show us who doesn't really care enough to like support us as well. When you reach out and say, Hey, I'm really struggling. Can you help with this? And someone's silent. You're like, Oh, they're not as supportive as I thought they would be. And so you kind of learn more about who the relationships really matter in your life when you go through challenges. Like the people step up that are maybe the least that you would expect to do it step up for you sometimes, where others maybe not. And I think that allows opportunity for you to build stronger relationships with the right people.

34:38Amy Purdy:Right. And so it's always a win, right? Because you think, okay, this person's not in your life now because they weren't there for you when you needed them the most. But at the same time, it's like, well, thank God you figured that out. Now you know who is in your life, who has stepped up to support you. And but also just that, you know, I think what I learned going through my challenges really is the power of being vulnerable, being comfortable letting people in and not just pretending like you have it all figured out. And when you let people in, it allows them to show up as their best self as well or maybe show up in a different version that they've shown up in before.

35:21Amy Purdy:They're able to show up and support you in a way that maybe they didn't support you before. And it comes down to you just allowing people in. And for me, going through the challenge that I went through, going through all the surgeries and stuff, I really had no choice but to rely on the support that was around me. And that gave me strength. So a lot of times, we think that resilient people are just resilient. Like they're just, that's just a resilient person who has a lot of grit. But I think resilient people realize that there are certain things that help them become strong. There are certain things that help them through challenges.

36:03Amy Purdy:And for me, one of those things was, you know, my relationships and my family and my friends and really leaning into my own vulnerabilities so that I can let them in. And that actually gave me the strength to continue forward.

36:19Lewis Howes:Was there ever a time where you were so uncertain that you just said, God, show me the way, tell me what you want from me? And what was that conversation or conversations and relationship with God been like for you?

36:32Amy Purdy:It's been an interesting conversation, to be honest. It's been an interesting journey. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. I'm like, gosh, when I injured my leg, I mean, I had no idea.

36:49Lewis Howes:Seven years ago or in the beginning? Yeah. So when I injured my leg seven years ago, I injured my popliteal artery.

36:57Amy Purdy:I had no idea if I'd be able to wear a prosthetic again. So I didn't even know if I'd be able to walk again. And that was the hardest time of my life. And that went on for a couple of years. of not knowing. So that was this extended challenge that just seemed to not end, right? There wasn't really an end in sight. And there was no, nobody could give me a prognosis. Nobody could say, oh, yeah, I mean, I was such a unique case.

37:23Lewis Howes:Yeah, give it six months, you'll recover, or you'll be back on your feet, or nothing. Right.

37:26Amy Purdy:Most people lose their legs from what I went through. I already am an amputee, so that's like, you know, just, we were just trying to save the rest of my leg. And not knowing what the future held. I mean, there was a lot of times that I would just go up and I'd sit in my bathtub and just bawl my eyes out. And I was grieving, you know, I was grieving the loss of who I was. I was grieving the uncertainty of what's to come. And just, you know, I'd think like, why do I have to go through this again? It was the first time in my life that I was saying, why me? I never said why me when I lost my legs in the first place, but this time I did.

38:09Amy Purdy:But I'll tell you what, first of all, just grieving, just going into my bathtub and allowing myself to grieve, allowing that energy to move through me. I would always get out feeling so much better and hopeful and feel like, okay, I got this. Whatever happens, I'm going to be okay. So that's one of those things that I just started to pay attention to, that when you allow yourself to feel the emotions, then that's where you find your strength and you can continue forward.

38:39Lewis Howes:Wow, that's beautiful. The book is amazing. And on page 101, you have a quote that says, the quality of your life comes down to the stories you choose to believe. It's been 25 years since losing your legs, I believe, right? 25 years. And you were just telling me before we started rowing that you're in transition again in so many different areas of your life. You're in transition and you've been full steam ahead of like the last 25 years of building your business and your brand and doing certain things. But now you're almost creating a new identity for what's coming. And again, the quote you say is the quality of your life comes down to the stories you choose to believe.

39:23Lewis Howes:What is the current story you're choosing to believe right now at this new season of possibilities, but also potentially uncertainty of what's to come?

39:32Amy Purdy:Oh gosh. I mean, I think, you know, the first kind of the first half of my life or the first third of my life was trying to, was actually living life normal, right? Not realizing what was out there. actually, you know, until I was 20 years old. And then all of a sudden I lost my legs. The next 20 years really became trying to figure out the possibilities. What can I do with these legs? What can I do? You know, what's possible? And I figured those things out. And I also figured out my limits, right? And then I think these next 20 years really are, and who knows what they are, but just stepping into this next part of my life really is just, is helping others see that within themselves, that we all have so much potential, no matter what challenges we're faced with.

40:19Amy Purdy:We all are capable of so much, but you don't have to go like crazy achieving big things either. Just to know that you are capable of doing the things that you want to do in your life, I think it really is just about living a good life and living a fulfilling life. That's the most important thing we can have, is being fulfilled. and the way to be fulfilled is to be able to deal with the adversities that come our way because the longer we live the more adversity we're going to face like that's all there is to it you know you get older and things start falling apart and I mean the longer you live like the more chance that you'll have a disability you'll have to go through something major and you'll lose people you'll lose different versions of yourself.

41:06Amy Purdy:And so the more we can just accept that that is the process of life, and that is actually what brings us closer to ourselves, that's kind of where I'm at right now. I'm in a space of being very appreciative for everything that I've gone through, everywhere I'm at as far as everything I have to deal with. But I don't know. I think we all have challenges. I mean, that's just the biggest thing. And it's knowing that that's a part of life. Those aren't detours that knock you out of life. Those are the things that help you discover life more and deeper.

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43:40Lewis Howes:With all the wisdom you have now over the last 25 years, if you can go back to the 19, 20 year old who just lost her legs and her kidney and her spleen, what are three pieces of advice you would say to her if she was sitting right in front of you in that hospital bed?

43:56Amy Purdy:Oh my gosh, three pieces of advice. First of all, I would say, two, that you are going to go through a lot of challenges, but don't focus on the problem. Focus on the possibility. Focus on the possibility within the problem. There always is one. So don't let the problems grow. Focus on the little slivers of things that you find in there that you can lean into because that will take you. That won't just get you through your challenges. That will take you further than you ever knew you could go. Wow. The second thing is to, gosh, just let me think. You're just so capable of so much. So don't let your problems stop you.

44:43Amy Purdy:you know like you are capable of more than you even know we all are we'll never even reach our potential of what we're capable of just knowing that yeah and so just whatever it is that you want to do like go after it don't look at your challenges as these obstacles look at those challenges as the way to get to where you want to go because they will help you if you look at them in that way. And I think, you know, I guess the third thing is just to, and it's how I've always felt, to be honest, but just appreciate your body. Your body is just so powerful. It's so amazing. Our bodies are absolute healers.

45:22Amy Purdy:And so just appreciate it, take care of it. The more you take care of your body, the more it will take care of you. And it will be there for you. I mean, my body's been my greatest ally through all of this because I, gosh, I've gone through surgeries and lost my legs and kidney transplant and all this stuff. And yet my body has recouped and been strong and resilient. And my body has actually taught me how to be resilient. It continues to bounce back every single time and, uh, and do what it's supposed to do. I mean, that's just so incredible. So I would just, I would continue to, I would say, keep taking care of yourself because your body will carry you through some of your greatest challenges.

46:04If you could go 25 years in the future and give yourself advice today from your future self,

46:13Lewis Howes:hypothetically, if you could go into the future, what do you think she would say to you right now with where you're at? You know, you're launching this book about bouncing forward. You're going through personal transitions and career and business. You've kind of lived a full life of accomplishing certain goals and dreams to show what was possible for yourself. But now you have new season of life. What do you think she would say to you three things as you are right now, leaning into this season?

46:46Amy Purdy:Maybe the first thing would be you like Amy you already know you already you already know what it's about which really is just being truly being present like just stay present every moment that you can so you can observe and lean into everything that you can learn from along the way like just don't get too ahead of yourself because life is always going to change. You think you know where you're going and you have no idea. So just stay present.

47:27Lewis Howes:Do you feel like it was hard for you to stay present in the last 25 years? Like you're always thinking about the next thing, the next goal?

47:32Amy Purdy:For a long time, I think I was. I think that's what happens when you reach, well, not just reach success, but when you have a lot coming in. When you're, you know, all of a sudden it's like sometimes, you know, you've worked so hard to be successful, Then all of a sudden you have a lot that's coming in. For me, I've spent a lot of time speaking on stages, and it's amazing what I feel like I've been able to do. But at the same time, it can get you a little bit in a mindset of what's next, what's next. Okay, especially when you achieve big things, right? Like the Paralympics, or you're an athlete.

48:09Amy Purdy:So once you achieve certain things, sometimes you're like, okay, you're in achievement mode. Yeah, of course. And so, yeah, I think I'm actually enjoying not overachieving right now.

48:23Lewis Howes:It feels relaxing, huh? Yeah, it does feel relaxing.

48:26Amy Purdy:I feel like I'm in a much more calm, confident space than I was at before. And I'm okay with just kind of what is. That's great. And so I think just I continue to go back to being present. But just I would tell myself to continue to be present because that's where you grow the most. That's where you learn the most. And that's where you make the smartest decisions as well.

48:52Lewis Howes:Yeah. Okay. So that's the first thing you would say.

48:55Amy Purdy:I'm not sure what I would tell myself for the other two. Oh, my gosh. Um, I, I would say lean into, um, I would say take care of my family and friends and relationships probably more than I am now. And for sure, you're very good at that actually taking care of relationships. Yeah. I, it's because it's something that I want to be doing. So if I think about the next part of my life, it would be just, you get so busy that you don't pay attention to what everybody else is going through at times.

49:34Lewis Howes:What would that look like this year for you? If that wisdom to take care of relationships, friends, family, what would that look like for you to actually be doing for this year?

49:44Amy Purdy:It would actually be slowing down with work probably, which is hard to do. It's hard. Because you work so hard to get to where you're at. And now you're like, now I'm here and I don't have time to spend time with my nieces and nephews and they're all grown.

49:59Lewis Howes:One of the things that I've done in the last, I mean, this is challenging for me because I like to accomplish and achieve and I set goals and I want to create them. But I have said no over the last six months. I've said yes to a lot as well, but I've said no to a lot of money-making opportunities, trips, cool experiences because I just don't want to be away that much from my family.

50:21Amy Purdy:Right, exactly.

50:21Lewis Howes:And so even I went to Vienna to give a speech a couple weeks ago. And I was only there for 24 hours. But it took 16 hours to get there and 16 hours to get back. And I was supposed to stay for three days, but I stayed for one because I wanted to get back to be with my wife and my kids.

50:39Amy Purdy:Yeah.

50:39Lewis Howes:So it's, and there could have been other cool opportunities if I would have stayed. I was like, you know what? I'm going to miss out on that, but I'm going to be more present with my family. And I'm not going to sleep for three days and I'm going to make it work, but it's choosing to figure out what to say yes to and what to say no to and figuring that out. And it's hard to do sometimes when you have so many cool opportunities or money-making opportunities or trips or this or that. It's like, it's learning how to say no is a challenge.

51:14Amy Purdy:Learning how to say no is a huge challenge. And that's actually, that is where I'm at right now.

51:18Lewis Howes:Or it's flipping it and saying, learning how to say yes to your friends and family.

51:23Amy Purdy:Right.

51:24Lewis Howes:And then you don't even have to say no.

51:25Amy Purdy:Exactly. Exactly.

51:27Lewis Howes:It's like instead of... Right.

51:28Amy Purdy:I'm choosing this instead of this. Yeah, exactly. Right. It's not a loss.

51:31Lewis Howes:I'm not saying no to this. I'm saying yes to my family. So I can't do anything else.

51:35Amy Purdy:Exactly. Yeah.

51:37Lewis Howes:Okay. So that's... I'm going to check in on you in a few months and see, hey, are you taking care of family and friends by saying yes to that? And what was the third thing you would say?

51:45Amy Purdy:I think the third thing would just be get really clear on what you want, because then that makes it easier to say yes to your friends and family or say yes to certain things. We think we're clear, but I don't know. It's not until you really ask yourself some smart questions that you're really clear on what it is you want. It's really easy to look at social media or whatever it may be and see people doing all types of stuff and then thinking that that's what you should be doing as well. But when you really reel it in and decide and figure out what you want yourself, what do I really want for my life?

52:21Amy Purdy:And what am I willing to sacrifice to get it? And these days, because I am in such a more calm space in my life, I'm not willing to sacrifice my own. And I'll tell you what, I know I'm not ready. I no longer will sacrifice my nervous system for stuff, like getting caught up and, you know, freaked out about something not going right or, you know, rushing around. I just, I so want to have a calm nervous system. And that's so important to me. I just, yeah, I know what I don't want, which is I don't want to get caught up in things that don't matter. and just truly focus on the things that do matter.

53:10Amy Purdy:So getting clear on those things for sure.

53:14Lewis Howes:I'm curious if you could give me some advice. You're a three-time Paralympian, correct? Three-time Paralympic medalist. Yes, two-time Paralympian. Two-time Paralympian, three-time Paralympic medalist. You know my dream is to be in the 2028 Olympics with the USA handball team. There's no guarantees. I've got two and a half more years. I've been on and off the team for 16 years playing this sport. This is my last chance to make the team as an Olympic athlete. And this is something I've been pursuing for 20 years, plus years, since I was a kid, probably 40 years, right? But 20 years since I saw the sport for the first time.

53:53Lewis Howes:Knowing that there's only so much I can do, which is take care of my conditioning, my athletic ability, my health, you know, and doing all the things that I can control. But making the team and being on the roster is not 100 % of my control, no matter how good I am. And even sometimes the best players don't make the team for whatever reason. But there's a chance I could make it and there's a chance I could not make it. For whatever reason, I've got to stay healthy, all these different things. What advice would you have to me as a three-time Paralympic medalist with my dream and goal to be an Olympian over the next couple of years on how I should approach this season?

54:35Amy Purdy:I think you should just fall in love with the process. That is it. Because it is the process that builds you. It's the process that you'll remember. Those are all the things, even if you were standing on a podium, looking back, those are all the things you'll remember. is the people along the way, the little moments along the way, the things that you learned about yourself along the way. Because once you get there, it's so fleeting. And you already know that too. It's like once you achieve something, it's so fleeting. You get there and if anything, you don't always feel like I made it. You maybe feel that way for a moment, but then you're like, well, what's next?

55:14Amy Purdy:What do I got to do next? And so it really is really appreciating the process and being super present in it. Because even if you make it, and even if you win medals, what you'll remember most is not what it felt like to stand on the podium getting the medal. you'll remember what it took to get there. And I mean, that really is, you know, that really is what it's about. Yeah. Because once you hit that spot, you end up going, okay, now what am I doing with my life tomorrow?

55:51Lewis Howes:Right.

55:52Amy Purdy:You know, and yeah.

55:54Lewis Howes:It's almost like the process is over now.

55:55Amy Purdy:The process is over now. And I actually realized this even going through my injury. It's kind of similar, but I, you know, I was going through this injury and it was major. Like, I was sitting in a wheelchair in my house for a couple years. I mean, I was working. It was all during COVID. I was still doing virtual speeches and stuff like that. But I had one prosthetic leg. I couldn't really get on crutches. I really couldn't do as much as I was doing before, that's for sure. But there was this day that I was in my kitchen. I was sitting in my wheelchair, and nothing had changed with my circumstances.

56:33Amy Purdy:My leg wasn't any better at this point. I had all these surgeries. And I was pouring myself a cup of coffee and I realized that I was happy. And I really felt happy. And I froze. And I thought to myself, how am I happy? Like I'm in the same situation that I've been in this whole time. Nothing has changed. And I realized I was happy because I was problem solving. And I was working on something every day. My problem solving was how do I get in my legs? How do I get comfortable again? How do I get doing the things that I love to do. And so I was biohacking. I was talking to all these different people.

57:09Amy Purdy:I was doing hot and cold therapy. I was researching. I was doing all this stuff. And I realized that I was happy. And I was happy not because I reached some kind of outcome. I was happy because I was problem solving and because that gave me purpose and because I was in the process of doing something. That's what brought the happiness. And so it's similar to being an athlete or having a huge goal. It's falling in love with the process. It's recognizing, because if you haven't made it to the podium yet, you can't really reflect back. But it's recognizing that that process is what's actually making you fulfilled and making you happy.

57:54Amy Purdy:and standing on the podium or making it to your goals is just the, you almost just get a relief because you go, okay, like I did it, but that's not what brought the fulfillment.

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59:54Lewis Howes:Why do you think there's a certain amount of athletes, specifically at the Olympic level, that once they accomplish their dream or they go to the Olympics or they medal, there's a certain amount who have gone through extreme depression afterwards. There's a documentary called Weight of Gold. I don't know if you've seen this. I have. And it's sad to see these incredible athletes, not all of them, but some of them go through extreme highs and then extreme lows right after the Olympics within like months. Right. They're like, what's my purpose? Who am I? It's almost like they have this new identity, but they don't know how to navigate it.

1:00:28Amy Purdy:Yeah.

1:00:28Lewis Howes:Why do you think that is for so many Olympians that go through? And I don't know if that's same for Paralympians and Olympians, or do you know other athletes who've gone through this?

1:00:37Amy Purdy:Absolutely. I know athletes going through it right now. Really? Because the Paralympics and Olympics just ended. And yeah, it's huge. And I'll tell you what, even when you win medals, you feel that on the other side.

1:00:49Lewis Howes:Really? Why is that? You just won the highest high.

1:00:52Amy Purdy:That's why.

1:00:53Lewis Howes:You're the best in the world.

1:00:54Amy Purdy:That's why.

1:00:54Lewis Howes:And now you crash? Why? Exactly.

1:00:56Amy Purdy:Yeah, that is. I mean, that's a huge part of it. It really is. There's nothing like there's nothing like the feeling of being the best in the world, trying to be the best in the world, all the years that it takes to get there, all the energy, everything that goes into it. And then also performing on the world's biggest stage. And when you do that, it's like the world's watching and everything clicks and everything comes together. And then all of a sudden, And, you know, real life is on the other side of that. And it just, you don't get that adrenaline. You don't have that drive. It's hard to find that drive in anything else, really.

1:01:36Amy Purdy:You know, like you're not waking up training to maybe do your podcast. It's like just a different type of energy that goes into it. So there's a letdown, I think, no matter what on the other side. And that's why I say it's so important to fall in love with the process and to just be really present in the journey of it. because that's ultimately what you'll flash back on and what means the most. And I also think we just put such high expectations on that one moment. That's supposed to be the best competition and race of your life because it's the Olympics. You have no idea what's going to happen.

1:02:17Amy Purdy:The conditions could be horrible. Something's not set up right. You're not together like you thought you would be. like we think that that's the most pinnacle moment and the most important moment of our sporting career and that it's just one day that's it it's just one day and anything can happen on that one day anything right and so I think we have this vision and this dream of competing in the games sometimes getting there and being completely completely let down by the experience oh yeah and it could be anything that happened that day that could let you down and so and I actually felt a little let down even after winning silver I won silver and bronze yeah I was grateful that I won in I was like yes I'm so grateful but um but I felt a little bit let down just uh I you know because I could have performed better because I there were just certain things that I thought of afterwards that I thought gosh I could have I could have actually pushed for that gold even harder.

1:03:16Amy Purdy:That can eat you up, you know? And, but, but what I love about that journey was that I, for the first time ever, was so present in my training for the couple of years leading up, because I took time off after Dance with the Stars and Paralympics, or my first Paralympics. And then I came back to the Paralympic Games. And, and I'll tell you what actually made me come back and change my perspective a little bit on things is because I was like when I went into Dance with the Stars, when I went into doing the Oprah tour and all of that. So I just won, you know, a medal at the Paralympic Games. I was kind of in this achievement mode of what's next, what's next.

1:04:02Amy Purdy:And then I decided to go back to my second Paralympic Games, compete in some of these World Cups. At that point, I was the underdog and I was horrible. Like I was not at the level of everybody else. Not that I was horrible, but I was not at that level that everybody else who had continued to compete. And I remember I was standing in the start gates. I was in Italy and we were doing a world cup and it was icy and it was cloudy. And, uh, and the course was super sketchy. And I mean, I have two prosthetic legs, can't feel my feet on the ground anyways. I was kind of falling and frustrated and working on my legs, trying to figure things out.

1:04:37Amy Purdy:And I went back to my room and I was asking myself, why am I doing this? Like, I don't have to be here. I already have a career outside of this. I don't have to be here. Why am I doing this? And I thought, you know, if I have a bad day tomorrow, I'm just, that's it. Like, I'm just done. I don't need to be here. And so that night I was getting ready to get into bed. I got a phone call at 11 o 'clock at night and it was the front desk. And we were just staying in this little Italian village in just this little house in this Italian village up in the Dolomites. And so I get this phone call, and they say that there's somebody downstairs to talk to me.

1:05:17Amy Purdy:And I was thinking, who would it be? It must be my coach, I guess. And so I put my pajamas on. I went downstairs, and there was this young girl standing there in two prosthetic legs with five people around her. and they saw on Instagram that I was in this little village and they jumped in the car. They drove four hours to find me. They knocked down every door in that village to find me. Wow. And it was all to figure out how I snowboarded in two prosthetic legs so that she could do a gym.

1:05:52Lewis Howes:Wow, that's pretty cool. Just that alone might have been worth the whole experience, right?

1:05:55Amy Purdy:Well, it did. It completely changed my whole view on why I did what I did. And it took the kind of pressure of like, oh, I'm here to win medals away completely. I thought that's not what it's about at all. I ended up sitting down with her. It was her grandparents and a translator and her leg maker. And they were all trying to figure out how I set my legs up. I spent the next hour with them. And when I walked away, I thought to myself immediately, I thought, that's why. That's why I do this. Not to win medals, not to be the best in the world, but to show other people that they can do this too. They can live their dreams too, no matter what challenges they're faced with.

1:06:39Amy Purdy:And that changed the way I approached my training from that point forward. I knew my why so strong that it didn't matter how hard things got. I knew exactly why I was showing up every single day. I never asked again, why am I doing this? I knew why I did it. And it was so much more fulfilling to know that answer. And to not be doing it for myself, really, to be doing it to show what the possibilities are so that others can, you know, but believe that they can achieve their goals as well. And, um, and to be an example of what's possible. And that, that just changed my whole perspective on how I, an approach on how I went into that Paralympic games.

1:07:29Amy Purdy:I was so calm, present appreciative i brought my whole family with me to competitions which i didn't do going into the first paralympics that i was in i was so focused in my first paralympics that i was just distract me exactly it was like everybody fall aside and i just focused on what i needed to do but for this paralympics i brought my family with me i enjoyed the ride i enjoyed every moment even when i competed i competed i could have competed stronger and better of course but what i am so proud of myself of is that I was so present while I was competing. And, um, and so, yeah, I mean, there's a few different things in there.

1:08:07Amy Purdy:It's, it's knowing why you're doing what you're doing and that it's, it can't be the outcome and it can't be like the shiny objects. Like that's not enough of a why to, to drive you through the process of it. And, uh, and also being present

1:08:25Lewis Howes:enough that you actually are enjoying the process yeah yeah enjoying the ride because that's what that's that's the most important part of it otherwise you know medals just collect dust and

1:08:38Amy Purdy:they they end up on your wall and you're like that's awesome but but what that really meant was you know you get to go back and save it this is this is the meaning behind that um that's beautiful which is the most important part which you get whether you win a medal or not

1:08:53Lewis Howes:Yeah. I'm loving all this. Your new book is called Bounce Forward. I want everyone to go get a copy of the book. It's out now. And that's 21 Tools to Live a Life Beyond Limits. You're all over social media, on Instagram. People can follow you there and see your content and your journey as well. The theme that I'm hearing you say throughout this is to stay present, is to take care of family and friends and to enjoy the process. That's what I've been hearing as kind of a reflection of the last 25 years of what you did and what you wish you would have done more of, of where you're at now and where you're heading in the future.

1:09:34Lewis Howes:I want to ask you a question. I think I asked you this 10 years ago on the show, I believe. So I'm curious to look back and see what your answers were then. This is called the three truths question.

1:09:44Amy Purdy:Okay.

1:09:45Lewis Howes:So hypothetical scenario. We've gone into the past. We've gone into 25 in the years in the future. If you can imagine all the way to the very end of your life, very far in the future, and you could think about your whole life experience, we're in the future now. And for whatever reason, it's your last day on earth. And you've accomplished and created all the things you want to do. But for whatever reason, on the last day, you have to take all of your work with you, all of your books and your content. It has to go to another place. Hypothetical scenario. But you get to leave behind three lessons to the world.

1:10:16Lewis Howes:And this is all we would have of your content. These three lessons. I call it the three truths. What would those three truths be for you?

1:10:25Amy Purdy:I would say that your problems aren't an obstacle towards your purpose. Your problems are the way to your purpose. because by leaning into them, they teach you what you really want and what's really meaningful to you. The second one I would say is we're capable of so much more than we know. And no matter what adversity you're faced with, you're capable of so much more than you know. And to lean into that, to know that, to know that your challenges don't need to stop you. They really can open up the doors to figuring out just how capable you really are.

1:11:18Lewis Howes:Yeah. And I'd say the third one is that contribution matters.

1:11:27Amy Purdy:Whether you're contributing support to somebody else or you're contributing your voice, to something or you're contributing your art to something or music, contribution matters, which makes me believe that we're supposed to do it because it feels so good.

1:11:46Lewis Howes:Yes.

1:11:47Amy Purdy:It feels so good when you show up and contribute what you have with the world. That matters.

1:11:55Lewis Howes:That's beautiful. Again, I want to make sure people get your book, Bounce Forward. Make sure you guys get a copy for a friend as well. It's going to really inspire you. with whatever challenge you feel like you're going through, any problems you're going through, it's going to inspire you to hopefully overcome them with some more peace and purpose. Final question for you, Amy, before I ask, I want to acknowledge you for your contribution. Constantly being a light in the world where so many people struggle, your voice matters. I'm so grateful for you. We've known each other for 10 years. We've done a lot of stuff together and you continue to show up and inspire so many people, including myself.

1:12:30Lewis Howes:So I appreciate you. I'm grateful for your contribution. And I'm excited to see how you step into your next path and what you're up to of being present, enjoy the process, diving into family and friends and receiving and relaxing. I'm excited to see that season of life for you. And my final question is, what's your definition of greatness?

1:12:53Amy Purdy:My definition of greatness is living a life of possibility and helping others do the same.

1:13:00Lewis Howes:Amy Perny, thank you so much. Appreciate you. Amazing. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally, as well as ad free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our greatness plus channel exclusively on Apple podcasts, share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on apple podcast as well let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review i really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward and i want to remind you if no one has told you lately that you are loved you are worthy and you matter and now it's time to go out there and do something great

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