The Neuroscience of Identity: Why You Keep Repeating the Same Patterns | Emily McDonald

18:01Emily McDonald:They wouldn't react to it. And so I find that this is so true for us in our lives and so many people. It's like the things that we want a lot of the time are like they're around. Like opportunities are there, but our brains are not wired to perceive them. And I remember when I learned about that kitten study, I was like, damn, like, where am I a kitten in my own life? Like, where am I a kitten in my own life? And we're all kittens in our own lives. Where are you right now? Somewhere. Honestly, I feel like this next level for me, I feel like I've had this very full circle moment. I mean, just being here, but also like I finished writing my book.

18:39Emily McDonald:I've grown my platform tremendously. I have a really successful business. I'm engaged in my dream relationship, like drive my dream car. I bought my dream house. Like I have all the things. And then I realized kind of, OK, like, great. But what's next? Because joy, I mean, happiness, like to me, like one of my values is growth. And so it's not all about what I have. It's about feeling like I am growing as a person, but just in other areas of my life. And I think my next level is, OK, it's time to write in some new beliefs. because years ago when I decided that this was the journey that I wanted to go on, I was a mad woman, like in my, you know, affirmations with my visualization, with just the way that I carried myself and very strict about the energy of the people that I keep around me and all of those things.

19:25Emily McDonald:And I mean, I can confidently say now that I'm pretty sure everything I ever wrote down has come true. And so now I'm kind of like, okay, well, what do I want to write down next? Like, what is like, okay. Like I think now I am the kitten in my programming is the life I'm currently living. And I know that I foresee even greater levels for myself. And so now it's time to kind of wire in some new stripes to see.

19:50Lewis Howes:So that's where I'm the kitten. If you could go back, you know, three years ago to the version of Emily you were three years ago, what is one belief system that you had to completely rip out of your brain to make this life possible? I think being realistic and logical, that's probably the belief system. That's the belief system you had?

20:15Emily McDonald:That I had to rip out. Yeah. So I grew up just very, you know, parents in finance, like very logical mathematical structure. But then also, you know, in my own life and belief systems, like I always like math, science, and it's all very logical. And just the people around me as well is just very logical and rational. And so I kind of had to really on purpose train into my brain. There are things that could happen that are outside of what you could ever imagine. And you have no idea what's going to happen today. And I think the first time I ever heard it was from Wayne Dyer, but he says, no one knows enough to be a pessimist.

20:57Emily McDonald:like we have no idea what's going to happen and there's even days where I'm driving to the gym in the morning and I'm like oh I got so much to do today I'm doing like this this that whatever and then I pause and I remind myself wait like I have no idea what's going to happen today why am I having this mindset that I know how today is going to go like I have no idea how today is going to go for all I know some unexpected blessing or opportunity could come like I have no idea and this specific day that I'm remembering that's exactly what happened like a couple hours later I'm in a meeting and I get like amazing news that makes like my month.

21:30Emily McDonald:So yeah, it was, it's little moments like that, that I had to open myself up to. And so I think for me kind of having this, honestly, I, I did not used to believe, I mean, I was the opposite of what I believe now. I didn't, I had a friend my senior year of high school and he would always be like, you could do anything you set your mind to. I would get mad. No, I would actually get mad and be like, don't say that. that's not true. I had just so, I had so much conditioning. I mean, I grew up like with so many different like mental illness and physical illnesses and, you know, doctors just not knowing what's wrong with me.

22:05And so I had all of these reasons to just believe that life sucked and that

22:10Emily McDonald:you don't have agency in your life and that you can't create the life that you want. And so that was really the mindset that I had. And so there were a lot of beliefs that I had to rewire. Yeah, I mean, around scarcity as well and like living in abundance and like making money. I had so many limiting beliefs around money and I had to kind of wire in like, oh, no, like there are an infinite number of ways that money can come and really wire. I mean, so every different area. Honestly, I talked to you about the relationship that I'm in before this. And I mean, that was a big thing that I had to rewire as well.

22:43Emily McDonald:And so I was a kitten in a lot of different areas of my life. and when I identified okay these are the things that I'm wanting I'm like okay well what are my limiting beliefs that I have around that and then you know I kind of have a I kind of have a little bit of a process for kind of overcoming limiting beliefs and one of those is by looking for evidence of the opposite and you know a lot of times we think that our beliefs are objectively true and I always say no like go look for the evidence of the opposite you know there are plenty of people that opportunities just come to them. Money just comes to them.

23:15Emily McDonald:They are abundant. It's not that hard for them. And I think looking for evidence of the opposite and recognizing like, okay, that might be true based on my past experience, but it's not objectively true. And it's just opens you up a little bit to be like, okay, maybe, maybe I could shift a little bit here. And just being open to it, I think is the most important thing. And then, you know, starting small with just little tweaks. And I remember I would, yeah, I would start to start very small, like, oh, I'm going to see a feather today. Just little things to kind of build that belief muscle of, oh, wow, I saw that feather.

23:50Emily McDonald:Okay, maybe this works. And then, oh, you know, money can come to me in unexpected and unexpected ways. And then I'm walking my dog and there's a$20 bill on the railroad tracks outside of my apartment. I'm like, whoa, that's crazy because I just wrote that down. So just little things like that were kind of the beginning steps for me to kind of show me, okay, maybe this does work. And then that allowed me to grow into bigger things. Wow.

24:15Lewis Howes:The world is transforming faster than ever, and standing still isn't an option. At Oppenheimer, we're working at the forefront of the innovation economy to invest where progress begins, finding opportunities that build and protect wealth for individuals and institutions that want a seat at the edge of tomorrow. Put the power of Oppenheimer Thinking to work for you. Wealth Management, Capital Markets, Investment Banking.

24:44Lewis Howes:This one's for all the TV lovers. My Entertainment from DirecTV gets you over 60 channels and Disney +, Hulu, and HBO Max all in one pack. Watch it all, but don't spoil it. Tell your friends to get My Entertainment, too, for$34.99 a month. Go to directtv.com slash genre packs and sign up today. New customers only. Service renews monthly unless canceled. Credit card required. Conditions apply to apps. HBO Max Basic with ads begins after DirecTV five-day trial. Learn more at DirecTV.com. Restrictions apply. Hiring isn't just filling seats. With Indeed Sponsored Jobs, they'll help you match with candidates who can actually move your business forward.

25:26Lewis Howes:Target candidates by skills, certifications, or location. Join the 3.3 million employers worldwide that use Indeed to connect with quality talent that fits their needs. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress, less time, more results now with Indeed Sponsored Jobs. And listeners of this show will get a$75 sponsored job credit to help you get your job the premium status it deserves at Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring, do it the right way with Indeed. Would you say then you lived more of a victim or scarcity mindset most of your life?

26:11Emily McDonald:Absolutely. Really? Absolutely, yeah. Is that surprising to you?

26:14Lewis Howes:I mean, it's just like with the content you've created, it doesn't seem like it. And it seems like you've always had this mindset, but you would say that you grew up more as a victim. Maybe you didn't identify it as I'm a victim, but you lived with that language, that belief system that now life is harder. Now I got sick. Now money doesn't come to me easily. You said these things that identified as a victim, correct?

26:38Emily McDonald:A hundred percent. I didn't know what a victim mentality was at the time, but that was absolutely the mindset that I had.

26:44Lewis Howes:You were living in victimhood and scarcity, you would say, right?

26:48Emily McDonald:Absolutely.

26:49Lewis Howes:Why do you think your belief system was built that way to think that life was hard or life was scarce or there wasn't abundance? Why do you think your brain and your nervous system believed that?

27:02Emily McDonald:The way that I grew up and just, yeah, I mean, my own illnesses and then also, you know, close family members growing up, like getting sick and becoming disabled from a young age, like very young. I was just a kid. And so just seeing that around me and then that also being my own personal experience, I was diagnosed with like I had clinical depression. At one point I didn't even want to live. And so anxiety, I mean, I was diagnosed with ADHD. Also, I had kind of like hormonal imbalances and physical health issues that ran deep within me. And at one point I was in and out of doctor's offices every two weeks getting my blood drawn because they didn't know what was wrong with me.

27:38Emily McDonald:So it was that it was exactly that, like what's wrong with me sort of mindset. I don't know what's wrong with me. And then I think really, I mean, I went to college as a biology major. I didn't start out like pursuing neuroscience at all. I didn't, this was before neuroscience was a popular thing. I feel like now it's very popular. But at the time, like I didn't, when I switched my major to it, I didn't even really know what it was. And so I went as a biology major and I kind of was going to be pre-med just because I saw doctors not be able to help the people that I loved. And I saw doctors not really be able to help me.

28:10Emily McDonald:Like, and so I was, I wanted to be able to help people in a way that no one couldn't, could help me and the people that I loved. And that's why I initially went pre-med and I hated it. I absolutely hated biology. I hated studying like photosynthesis and the Krebs cycle just wasn't my thing. And I actually went up to someone I knew in the pre-health organization that I was in. I told them my situation and they were like, well, why don't you try neuroscience? And it sounded cool to me. Literally, it just sounded cool. So I switched my major to it, took the first class, got a 100 on the first exam.

28:41Emily McDonald:And my professor reached out to me, was like, congratulations, you couldn't have done better. And I responded back and I said, I love this. Get me in the lab. And so I started doing research super early on, working in the lab, studying learning and memory and the perception of time and scanning brains, doing fMRI and learning about the brain and neuroplasticity just kind of gave me hope for change that I didn't know was even an option. you know in my experience it was this is what's wrong with you this is your diagnosis your sucks to suck that you're just going to have to deal with this for the rest of your life yeah and I had no one had ever told me your brain is changeable like you can change the wiring and you know I still have ADHD for sure but I don't struggle with all of the things that I used to struggle with and now I'm able to you know direct my focus and sustain that and I understand how my brain and nervous system works so that I can actually use that knowledge to my advantage.

29:37Emily McDonald:And so, yeah, I think just learning about the brain, it made me so passionate. But that's, you know, when you say I could never tell by your content, I think that's why I am so passionate about sharing all of this on social media and just to everyone that will listen, because it, at least back in the day, was not popular knowledge that, hey, yes, this might be something you're struggling with, but you do have the power to change. And no one had ever told me that. And if someone would have told me that earlier, maybe I wouldn't have struggled for so long. But everything that I talk about, everything that I talk about online, here on social media is everything that I've personally done to change my life.

30:18Lewis Howes:That's interesting. So you were sharing before that your belief systems have changed also around your perception of faith, God. You said you grew up in the church, then you became an atheist, and now you're spiritual. So how are these beliefs around God changed and evolved? And which belief system supports you in becoming the best version of yourself?

30:41Emily McDonald:The belief system that supports me in becoming the best version of myself, I think is a combination of belief in myself and belief in my capabilities and the power of my mind, which I've built over time through practice and those small reps of just showing myself, hey, you can do this and writing things down and then going and doing it and proving myself right. And I think also my spirituality has been huge. I don't know if I would have been able to, you know, manifest the life that I want without this belief that there is this, you know, higher power or energy that exists that connects all things that flows through me that I can channel, that I can call upon.

31:24Emily McDonald:For me, that developed probably late undergrad. So started studying neuroscience and then, you know, the power of the mind, the brain, all that, and sort of started meditating and opening myself up to that. I remember when I actually went into my PhD, when I first moved to Arizona, didn't know a single person where I had moved to. And I had sticky notes that said trust and surrender all over, like on my door handles, on the mirrors, like everywhere. Because I just had no idea like what was going to happen. And it was just such an uncertain and unknown thing that I was stepping into. but it was that belief in the higher power that I believe in, which I don't know.

32:05Emily McDonald:I think my, my personal opinion on that is just like, you can use whatever word that you want to describe it. I don't think that really matters. Um, like what matters is that you do believe in something. And, and for me, that's, I know, just the, the, honestly, the word doesn't even matter. It's like God, the universe, the collective consciousness, energy, the divine. I like divine personally. Um, But yeah, I think that that belief system has really been a huge player in getting where I am today.

32:33Lewis Howes:I'm assuming you grew up believing in God, but then you said you were an atheist. How long were you an atheist for?

32:38Emily McDonald:I don't know if I ever really believed in God growing up. Like I was a little kid. I went to Catholic school. When I think back on those times, it really was just doing what I was told. So I don't know if I ever really had that belief. It was kind of just practicing the tradition.

32:52Lewis Howes:When did you say, you know what, I don't believe in God or I'm an atheist and I'm not sure?

32:55Emily McDonald:It was a thing probably when I was in high school. Yeah, I probably just didn't think about it at all in middle school. I moved across the country with my family, stopped going to Catholic school. So that was, you know, the first thing that happened. And then I was in high school when I was diagnosed with depression. Like, I truly didn't want to live. And at one point, like, attempted to not live. And so I think at that point, like it was just a combination of depression that actually had me being an atheist. Like, oh, life sucks. Like there is no, you know, I mean, and everything. I was struggling in so many different areas of my life that I had mentioned this previously that my mindset was if God is real, then God must be evil because how could God do this?

33:39Emily McDonald:And so that was my mindset. And now I don't have that mindset at all. I have a completely different mindset. But that's the mindset that I started out with.

33:47Lewis Howes:Why did the mindset shift to not thinking, you know, if something bad is happening to me or someone I love, then God doesn't exist or God is bad or whatever? What shifted for you to think a different thought?

33:59Emily McDonald:I think it's exactly what you had mentioned earlier. I shifted out of this victim mindset. And I realized maybe things don't happen to you and maybe they happen for you. And I fully am so grateful for everything that I went through because I wouldn't be able to help people in the way that I'm helping them now. you know so many like everything like my my program that i have is like i help people rewire their habits i help people with their identity with their beliefs with with focus learning memory stress anxiety and the the reason why i have so much of this kind of targeted knowledge is because these are all things that i personally struggled with and i used my neuroscience degrees and my understanding of the way the brain works and my spirituality to change my own life in all these different areas and so now I can take all of this and give it to other people and I wouldn't be able to do that if I hadn't gone through all of these things and so I think it really was that mindset shift out of like a victim and realizing I mean also developing into my you know I would say once I kind of became aware of spirituality I don't even think I knew it was a thing until later in life and realizing oh hey maybe my soul signed up for this and maybe I signed up for this before I came and maybe this was maybe the curriculum.

35:13Emily McDonald:And I absolutely believe that it was the curriculum for me.

35:16Lewis Howes:What if it was God saying, this is everything you need to overcome to become the greatest version of yourself to impact other people?

35:23Emily McDonald:Absolutely. And I think that I couldn't have that mindset back then. Otherwise I wouldn't have been able to overcome that mindset to get to where I am to now be helping people, other people through it. So I had to have that mindset of, you know, God is evil and life sucks and you just can't control what happens to you at all. Like life, you're just leaf in the wind. Whatever happens, happens. You know, I had to have that mindset at one point in order to get to this point.

35:49Lewis Howes:Interesting. Isn't that fascinating?

35:51Emily McDonald:Yeah.

35:52Lewis Howes:When did you come to that realization that maybe that was the curriculum for you to become who you are now?

35:58Emily McDonald:Late undergrad, when I was in maybe my senior year, I had birthed this dream of, you know, going. I took a class on the neurobiology of drug addiction. and we read a paper about why the current treatments don't work. And immediately light bulb goes off in my head because the current treatments, at least at this point, didn't work

36:19Lewis Howes:because they were - To ending drug addiction or to - Preventing relapse to drug addiction. Okay.

36:25Emily McDonald:The reason why they didn't work was because they were only putting band-aids on symptoms rather than actually targeting the real problem.

36:30Lewis Howes:And healing the root. Right.

36:32Emily McDonald:And so that immediately resonated with me because all of the illnesses that I had had and everything that I was dealing with, it was things that we don't know the root. We can only treat your symptoms. And so immediately this dream was born within me of, oh, I'm going to go to my PhD and I'm going to study drug addiction and I'm going to, I'm going to cure drug addiction and I'm going to win a Nobel prize. And I don't know. I mean, I've always been a little crazy. So that was, that was the dream. And then after that realizing that, okay, I need to go on this journey and do the work on myself to be able to get into that position because obviously that's a huge dream.

37:08Emily McDonald:And if I'm going to make that happen, I'm going to need to be the best version of myself. And so I started, you know, I would say I started meditating and doing those things more with the mindset of training my brain for focus and developing this mindfulness practice so that I can become aware and just be the best version of myself. And then kind of on that journey opened this other door that I maybe didn't realize was there. And I also met people. So I met these two people that I became really close friends with when I was an undergrad. And they were huge in my journey of introducing me to spirituality.

37:43Emily McDonald:And I remember them, one of them telling me to read The Untethered Soul. And I read that book. And it very much resonated with what I was learning in my neuroscience classes of, oh, hey, like, yeah, it's like when you're going to a movie and you plug in and you're watching it. It's like, that's exactly how your brain constructs reality. That's how your visual system works actually. Like you don't even see.

38:02Lewis Howes:Like there's a movie in your brain and you're like.

38:03Emily McDonald:Well, you don't even see the world with your eyes at all, right? Your eyes just take in light signals. And then those light signals travel through your brain where your thoughts, emotions, beliefs, memories, programming are all incorporated before the image is even constructed that you see. And so.

38:16Lewis Howes:We could see the same image, but have a different perspective of what we're seeing.

38:20Emily McDonald:Yeah. And I remember learning even in one of my neuroscience classes about how they've actually found differences in brain activity along this pathway. And people people that have body dysmorphia, for example. So they, their brain is literally constructing the image differently. And so it's not just like all in their head and they just need to, you know, it's like their brain is actually constructing the image that they see differently. And so when I, it kind of all connected and I was like, okay, yeah, this is a different world. And then these people that I was meeting and that were very spiritual.

38:50Emily McDonald:And I remember they actually were manifesting, moving to Hawaii and they had images of like Hawaii all over their apartment. and that was sort of when I was first introduced to it and in the beginning I definitely didn't you know think anything of it I remember my one friend was would write affirmations and I just thought that was I don't know I didn't think anything of it I was like oh affirmations that's interesting like I didn't think they worked I didn't understand them but then once I understood sort of the neuroscience behind these things like oh hey maybe this and then I actually remember you know as I started to study these different spiritual things like solfegeo frequencies came up.

39:25Emily McDonald:And that's a very popular thing in the spiritual spaces, which are just different frequencies of music, like 528 hertz, 432. And I started listening to 432 to sleep because they've shown in studies that it actually can help with sleep. And I remember lying in bed one night and I was like, maybe these frequencies actually like do change the state of your brain. And that's why they work. And literally I sat up in bed, went over to my phone, went on to like Google to look for research papers, found them, that they already existed, it's like, oh, hey, maybe, you know, the spirituality thing isn't so crazy.

40:01Emily McDonald:Maybe they're actually, maybe there's actually something to this. And so I think in the beginning for me, it was very much seeing how neuroscience very much explained a lot of the things that my friends and people in books and on YouTube videos were talking about and in your podcast were talking about. And I was like, oh, hey, like, and I, you know, neuroscience to me was something i was already studying and so it kind of helped me make spirituality make sense and that was really the bridge for me was and that's why i love doing what i do in bridging neuroscience and spirituality because for me in the beginning that was the bridge that allowed me to walk over that and go into this fully woo-woo state where if you would have told me you talked to an alien on the phone yesterday i'd believe you because now i've had so many experiences.

40:47Emily McDonald:And actually with that being said, I also had personal experiences kind of at the same time. Like I remember I was meditating and literally like the crown of my head started burning, like burning. And I had no idea like what the chakras were or any of that. And my friend was like, oh, that was your crown chakra opening up. I was like, what? And I looked into it. I was like, huh, maybe that was that. And kind of little experiences like that. And then being in meditation and just seeing visuals and things coming to me and different signs to the point where it was like, okay, yeah, I fully believe in all of the woo-woo stuff now.

41:23Lewis Howes:Interesting. It's funny, I had Nir Eyal on the show recently. He's a researcher and he just wrote a New York Times bestseller around the power of belief. And he did not believe in God before or prayer, but then he started to research prayer. and now he prays because the research proves that you are healthier and happier when you pray. So he's like, I'm still not 100 % of why it works, but I know it works. And so I just do it because it helps my brain. And I think it sounds like you were learning different techniques and strategies that made you feel better and you're linking them to spirituality and other things that were happening in your life.

42:02Lewis Howes:And you just continued on that path. And you mentioned affirmations for a second. What is the neuroscience behind affirmations and do they actually work?

42:13Emily McDonald:I think they can absolutely work. So the neuroscience behind them is, I mean, it's sort of the power of neuroplasticity, right? So anything that you repeat in your brain, those pathways become stronger. Like neurons that fire together, wire together, that's Hebb's law. Like we learned that in our very first neuroscience classes, Hebb's law. And what that means is, you know, neurons that fire together, meaning that you have neurons that are wired into pathways all throughout your brain. And when these pathways light up or activate together, every time they do that, and when they do that frequently, they become stronger.

42:43Emily McDonald:And then that can become your more dominant way of thinking and feeling. And so affirmations actually work to kind of strengthen the pathways that represent maybe that thought or feeling. And so over time, it could become your dominant way of thinking. And they also have been shown to activate the reward centers in the brain and boost dopamine as well. So they can make us feel good. And dopamine actually drives neuroplasticity as well. Dopamine drives learning. So you kind of get this double whammy of, you know, boosted dopamine in the moment, feeling good, but then also, you know, driving neuroplasticity to remember it better.

43:17Emily McDonald:But I think with that being said, it makes it even more important that the affirmations are done the right way. I get asked all the time, like, oh, I do affirmations and I have these limiting beliefs come up and, you know, my other thoughts pop in and they're like, but that's not true that's wrong and if that's happening then it might actually be working against you and I've actually had people that I coach um remember I had this one person he had that happen to him where he would practice affirmations they just didn't work for him they just didn't make him feel good he just didn't really believe them but you know he actually unlocked something where he started to he fixed up this old jet ski and he started to go out on the little like pond or something or like next to his house every morning.

44:02Emily McDonald:And he listened to my affirmations on a speaker on his jet ski. And he found that he, they became all of a sudden so much more believable. And we'd really do, I mean, resistance lowers in our mind of the logical mind when we're moving forward, like forward movement. That's why walking is so helpful for processing information. So that's actually how I started was I would go out in the morning, every single morning on a walk and listen to affirmations in my headphones while I walked every morning. And so that can actually lower resistance to sort of absorbing these affirmations. But then also I think he unlocked another component, which was that he was already boosting dopamine from being on his jet ski, right?

44:42Emily McDonald:He was having fun, but also, right, it's so much easier to believe in the good when you're having fun. Yes, play. Right, exactly. And play is so good for your brain. That's why I always say like, activating your whimsy is a pro level brain hack and just doing everything for with fun and that's something that i do all the time um like especially when i was writing my book where i would be like how can i make this more fun because it makes it so much easier to start so yeah i think also you know that's where dancing and doing affirmations or listening to there's this one youtube track that i really like and it's like a song with this funky beat but it's like funny it's hilarious i I think it's Bob Baker.

45:20Emily McDonald:And it's a funky beat. It's like, it's just hilarious. And it's hard to take seriously, but that's the point. And the affirmations, it all of a sudden becomes fun and it becomes way easier to absorb.

45:32Lewis Howes:What are the greatest affirmations someone could say to themselves every morning?

45:36Emily McDonald:I think that depends on who you're trying to become. I think the greatest affirmations are the ones that you write for yourself, depending on exactly what it is that you're working on.

45:46Lewis Howes:What was the affirmations you would listen to when you were -

45:48Emily McDonald:I'm creator affirmations. They were tracks on basically, it's funny, this is all coming full circle now, but these were affirmations that I didn't realize it at the time that shift you out of victim mindset. So they were affirmations like I am the creator of my life. Like I, like I have the power to change and choose and create the life that I want. And so that, yeah, I was shifting out of victim mindset.

46:14Lewis Howes:So I think more ownership affirmations, like I am capable of doing this. I am, I am.

46:20Emily McDonald:Right. Like I, I am creator of my life. And yeah, that, those were the affirmations that really, really changed. And I actually have all, I have a playlist of affirmations on my YouTube and I literally made it public for like all my, for anyone, because these are all the videos that I listened to when I first started out and all these, I am creator videos are on there. yeah and it's it never was meant for anybody else right when i made it it was for me and now i just made it public so hey this worked for me um but yeah so they were i am creator affirmations and really just allowing me to believe that i could create the life that i want and then after that it became okay i have limiting beliefs around money i think that it's scarce and that it's hard because i grew up hearing money doesn't grow on trees you know and that's a limiting belief if you believe that.

47:09Emily McDonald:And I had to start it like money does grow on trees. Money can come to me in unexpected, unexpected ways. So, you know, that was a goal that I had. So I started to kind of rewrite my beliefs around that.

47:22Lewis Howes:This podcast is supported by Ring. With Ring, it's protected. You know, those moments when you're expecting a package and you're not home and you're thinking about it all day, wondering if it's just sitting out there. That's something I think about, especially with how often we're ordering things for the house. And this is where Ring comes in. Keep track of packages and see more at the front door with battery doorbell. And honestly, Ring has been a game changer for me. I like being able to quickly check and see where my package shows up and just know it's there. And beyond that, I'm also keeping an eye out on the yard.

47:49Lewis Howes:With the Outdoor Cam Plus, you get a wide field of view and clear retinal 2K video. So you can see what's happening around your home, even at night. You can also upgrade to 4K cameras and doorbells with retinal vision, which gives you ultra clear footage and lets you zoom in without losing important details. And for me, it's that extra peace of mind. Whether it's making sure a delivery arrived or just checking in on things outside, it's simple and easy. Your door, your yard, your home. With Ring, it's protected. Shop cameras, doorbells, and more right now at ring.com. You know those moments when you're ordering everything to your house?

48:22Lewis Howes:From groceries, gear, random things you didn't even realize you needed until the last minute? It just makes life a little easier. And now you can add internet to that list. Get same-day delivery for T-Mobile 5G home internet powered by DoorDash. No store visits, no waiting around for a technician. It shows up, you plug it in, and you're online in about 15 minutes with one cord. T-Mobile has the fastest 5G home internet. For me, working from home on the podcast, that simplicity matters a lot. I'm on video calls, uploading episodes, researching guests, and sending emails. And when everything just works and I don't have to think about it, I stay focused on what actually matters.

49:06Lewis Howes:It fits right into my workflow and it keeps things moving throughout the day. Visit t-mobile.com slash home internet to check availability and get your home internet delivered today. Same day delivery for most internet eligible customers. See if it's an option during checkout. Fastest according to UCLA speed test intelligence data, second half 2025, all rights reserved. How much of our current struggle in life is actually a physical truth or a fact versus how much of it is just poorly wired perception in our brains?

49:42Emily McDonald:I don't know if I could put a number on it, but they've actually shown in studies, I can't remember the exact number of seconds, but it's seconds that when we have an emotional response to something whether positive or negative that that kind of chemical representation of that emotion only exists in our brain for seconds like less than a minute or maybe it's 90 seconds or something like that and anything after that is us reinforcing that feeling with our thoughts it's really quite interesting when you think about it that way and again we all get caught up in the emotions for longer um but i think you know i remember i heard the saying that life is 10 what happens to you 90 what you do about it and after learning that i was like okay yeah like things are going to happen things happen to everyone everyone even the super successful people that we see and like the people that we assumed oh they just had it easy like life is hard for everyone like life is not easy for anyone um but i think what makes it quote unquote easier is having that mindset and that belief in yourself and also that faith in whatever you believe in, belief in yourself and belief in the divine, the creator.

50:49Emily McDonald:Because when you have that belief, I mean, it lowers stress and cortisol, right? And you have that self-trust that, okay, like I can overcome this. So even when things do suck and the things do happen, it's like, it's okay. And I remember when I was studying the difference between like optimistic and pessimistic mindsets, it's like bad things, like quote unquote, bad things happen to everyone, but an optimist doesn't make that, like doesn't take a bad situation and apply it to their whole life and mean apply it to their whole world. Whereas a pessimist might, you know, trip over a wire and be like, oh, I'm so clumsy.

51:25Emily McDonald:Like there's this, this, this always happens to me. Like, you know, different little things like that. You take one situation and you apply it to everything. Whereas an optimist might just be like, okay, like that happened, but that doesn't mean that it's going to happen again.

51:35Lewis Howes:Mm-hmm. And from your experience of studying neuroscience, can you explain then the law of attraction neurologically?

51:46Emily McDonald:Yeah. So to me, the law of attraction really is that you don't get what you want. You get what your brain is wired for. You get what you are, right? You get what you are. from a nervous system perspective and a programming perspective. I mean, just I remember learning about, you know, just the way that neurons work, right? And neurons fire and communicate with each other using electrical impulses. I remember I had to take calculus physics actually in college to understand this. It was so annoying. But when current flows through a wire, a magnetic, electromagnetic force is created perpendicular to that wire.

52:21Emily McDonald:And our nervous system is a bunch of wires. And so current is flowing through us all the time. And absolutely, there is a magnetic field created perpendicular to that flow of energy, right? And so there's that. And that energy is felt. I think we have that, like, we know that scientifically now, like nervous systems co-regulate. Like, that's why if you're next to somebody who's all of a sudden getting super anxious, you feel that. And so if we can feel other people's nervous systems, you don't think that the universe can feel your nervous system? Like, I think that we can. I mean, obviously, we can't show that like oh yeah the universe felt our nervous system um but i mean i can extrapolate that and believe that for in my for myself but then there's also the other component which is just that your brain can only construct your reality based on the programming we have like the kittens and i've seen it so many times i remember i had someone come to my master class where i talked about identity shifting and reprogramming and he said he had been trying to get a job for two years and after two weeks after that class he got his dream job and it's like, do we think the dream job just magically appeared after two years of searching?

53:24Emily McDonald:Or was it that his brain and nervous system shifted into a state to where he could actually perceive it and get that job, right? And so when I think of the law of attraction, it's really about changing our internal state and rewiring our brain so that we are actually able to perceive the things that we want and go after them as well. Because a lot of us subconsciously block ourselves from our goals or the success that we desire because we have, whether it be limiting beliefs or subconscious fears even around success. And I think a lot of our procrastination stems from that as well. I mean, I remember back when I was trying to start a podcast, before I started, I wanted to start one for so long.

54:08Emily McDonald:And I was like, why am I procrastinating on this? And then I realized that I had a subconscious fear of being seen in a more vulnerable way because long form content is just so much more vulnerable. Like I'm over here. Everyone could just judge me right now listening to this. It's not a one minute curated clip. Exactly. Like, so you're just so much more vulnerable and I hadn't become aware of that. Right. And so I wasn't aware of that fear and it was keeping me from the success that I desired. It was keeping me from the thing that I wanted to manifest, which was having a podcast. Like I want to have a successful long form content.

54:37Emily McDonald:And it was keeping me from doing that because of this subconscious fear. Right. And as soon as I identified that, I was like, okay, now I can, you know, just give myself a little hug. Like, it's going to be all right. Like, it's okay. And then I was able to go and do it right after that. And just, I just as easy as identifying it. Right. And so I think when I think of the law of attraction, it really is just about like, we don't get what we want in life. We get what our brain is wired for.

55:04Lewis Howes:You mentioned this idea of being delusional is being delusional, a legitimate neuroscience brain hack for success or is it hurting us?

55:13Emily McDonald:I personally think that, and I'll talk about the science as well, but I personally think that it's a requirement. If you want to achieve the unimaginable, you have to believe in the unimaginable, right? And the unimaginable does feel delusional. And I remember when I first started out, right? Like I am creator didn't feel true in the beginning. It's like, what? No. And so the things that feel delusional a lot of the the time, maybe they're not delusional to someone like you. You know, me five years ago would have thought the things that you're doing were delusional, right? But it just depends on the person.

55:46Emily McDonald:But it's only quote unquote delusional until it works. And I always say I have this kind of mindset of, you know, being delusional really is just living outside of the illusion, which is the reality of the norm. And I personally knew that I wanted to live a reality of the unimaginable, a reality that no one around me that I had ever seen around me was doing. and in order to believe in that it did feel delusional it absolutely felt like what like what are you doing that's crazy and i had people around me tell me that's illogical that's crazy like how are you going to do that i'm in my phd having you know neuroscientists like you're making the wrong decision what are you doing and people in my personal life as well being like who told you you could do that um and all of those were honestly motivators for me to prove them wrong um but but yeah i think you know being delusional was kind of a requirement for me because everything that i wanted was something that i had never seen done before um and then from just kind of like the neuroscience standpoint right like doubt is a dopamine destroyer doubt is a dopamine destroyer and so if you have doubt in your dreams i mean you're not going to have the dopamine to go and motivate you to do the thing that you know you need to do when i graduated early for my phd with my master's and moved across the country.

57:01Emily McDonald:I had 30 ,000 Instagram followers. I had no reason to believe I was going to have almost 2 million now. I just did it. And I was like, I was delusional. I was like, I'm just going to do this. But it was that delusional level of belief that motivated me to do it. And I actually remember when I was first starting out, I had met someone and this person told me, I know that you're going to make it because of the belief that you have. I know now that all of the successful people, when you hear them speak, what do they all have in common? It's the belief that they have in themselves and in their dreams.

57:35Emily McDonald:And so I think that sometimes it is delusional because your reality, your current reality, isn't reflecting to you what it is that you're going after. And some kind of mindset that I've been, you know, living in recently is like, ignore reality, move like it's already yours. And that can seem delusional to a lot of people. but I think it's necessary because if you allow present setbacks or your present circumstances to deter you or discourage you, then you'll never make it. And so in those moments where things aren't going your way and maybe you're not getting the results that you want, maybe your videos aren't going viral.

58:15Emily McDonald:I had all these videos not doing whatever and I still believed. It was crazy. Thinking back, I really was delusional. But it's really so important because I think a lot of us have this experience where in the beginning we face just so many challenges. Like most people don't just immediately pop off into immediate success. So many of us face all of these challenges along the way and have to believe through all of this. And so I think that being delusional absolutely is a pro-level brain hack. I mean, it helps you unlock the power of belief and belief is a biological advantage. I mean, they've shown in studies that it improves performance, boosts confidence, makes you more likely to succeed and get the thing that you want.

58:54Emily McDonald:And then it also boosts dopamine, right? And dopamine motivates you to actually go and do it, right? If I'm sitting here and I don't believe that I'm going to be able to grow my, for example, social media platform, or I don't believe I'm going to be able to write a good book, why would my brain motivate me to go and write this book? Why would my brain motivate me to go and do that? It wouldn't. It wants to conserve energy. And if there's no reward, perceived reward or perceived outcome there, my brain is not going to motivate me to go and do it. So, I mean, having that delusional belief of just like, yeah, it's going to work out.

59:23Emily McDonald:It's going to be great. and, you know, really believing in that delusionally, right, without not needing evidence, because I think at first we don't have evidence. And I think that's kind of what I mean when I'm talking about being delusional is believing without evidence. And I think a lot of times in the beginning, you might not have that evidence. And so it's kind of required.

59:45Lewis Howes:Sometimes greatness feels far ahead of you, but in reality, it's right in front of you. That's why Buick is here to help you make the most of this moment. To show up at your best today, and to remember that now is exceptional. Whether you're making a statement in the Buick and Vista with its sleek style that sets you apart on the road, or you're announcing your arrival in the Buick Enclave, where purposeful technology and sophisticated spaciousness keeps you present and in command, Buick delivers a lineup of premium vehicles that enrich the life you're leading right now. So keep pursuing what's down the road, but remember that today is its own reward.

1:00:18Lewis Howes:Visit Buick.com to discover a design that inspires you to rise to any occasion. That's Buick.com. Buick, exceptional by design. I am big on simple daily habits that support how you show up. And this is about building a routine that helps you eat, sleep, thrive, repeat. Nature's Bounty is all about helping you thrive from your head to your heels. You can support your heart, bone, nerve, and muscle health with magnesium glycinate. And if you want a little extra heart support, there is Vital Heart Rapid Release Soft Gels made with magnesium and CoQ10. And for digestive and immune health, Probiotic 10 delivers 20 billion live probiotic cultures in a one pill per day formula, which makes it easy to stay consistent.

1:00:58Lewis Howes:And if you care about building habits that support your goals, this is one way to stay intentional with your health. Nature's Bounty, it's in your nature. Learn more at naturesbounty.com. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. I write about a lot of my work that self-doubt is the biggest killer of dreams. And you're kind of backing this. I'm curious. It sounds like belief is required in order to become the greatest version and accomplish your dreams. What does neuroscience say when you doubt yourself, when you say negative things, when you say, I'm not sure if this is going to work out or you doubt it's possible?

1:01:42Lewis Howes:What is neuroscience saying is happening in your brain and your body when you doubt?

1:01:47Emily McDonald:I think there are multiple levels here. I mean, just the first part of doubting yourself. I mean, I just said doubt is a dopamine destroyer. So you're not going to have the dopamine to go and do the things. So you're not going to have the motivation to go and do the things that you need to do. But also, I like to give this analogy of imagine you are walking around just day-to-day life with somebody next to you 24-7. constantly telling you you can't, constantly telling you, ah, you're not going to do that well, you're going to do a bad job. What would that, you'd be constantly braced. You would always be braced because this person is just constantly tearing you down and doubting you.

1:02:26Emily McDonald:You would always be braced. You would never be able to relax. And so that's kind of what happens in your nervous system as well. You're always kind of braced. That dysregulates you when you're always, I mean, really it's just negative thoughts in general. If you're always beating yourself up, tearing yourself down, doubting yourself, then you're always going to be in that brace state, and that boosts cortisol, which boosts stress. And if you're dysregulated, we haven't touched on this yet, but if you are dysregulated, if you are very stressed, then you're going to see increased activity in the amygdala.

1:02:54Emily McDonald:And the amygdala is often associated with fear and really being kind of the fear and stress centers in the brain. And when the amygdala is highly active, it hijacks your perception as well, which I've experienced in my life so many times in my past where maybe I'm really nervous. Maybe I'm really stressed and I walk away from a conversation. I'm like, I said all these things wrong. I didn't do well enough. You know, what did I do wrong? Like people around me like, oh no, like you did great. You did amazing. What are you talking about? And my perception of the situation was literally inaccurate because I was stressed and my amygdala was scanning my reality for potential threats to keep me safe.

1:03:37Emily McDonald:So if we are constantly doubting ourselves and having this negative mindset, or we just are stressed in general, then our amygdala is going to hijack our perception. And we're not even going to be able to notice the opportunities or the things that we want or the blessings or the manifestations. We literally like the thing that you want could walk in the door, but your brain is filtering for potential things that could go wrong to keep you safe because that's the state that your nervous system is in. And if you're always doubting yourself and you're saying, oh, I'm not sure this is going to work out, well, your brain is going to filter for reasons why that is true.

1:04:11Emily McDonald:It's going to filter your reality to confirm that belief. That's confirmation bias. Your brain is always filtering your reality to confirm the beliefs you already have. And I remember learning that you actually get dopamine too when your brain confirms a belief you hold. Even if it's negative. Even if it's negative. And so your brain reinforces itself for being negative and believing in the wrong thing. And that's where, you know, when you're like, oh, I knew that was going to happen. Like when something goes wrong and you're like, oh, I just feel like, you know, it's not going to work out. And then it doesn't.

1:04:42Emily McDonald:You actually get a mini dopamine hit from being right, even when it's not really the thing that you want. And so, yeah, I mean, doubt impacts us in so many different ways. I mean, I think we all at times have little moments of self-doubt creep in. But I like to I like to do something called a resiliency plan for those moments and like having that developed before it happens. And this is so many different areas of my life. Now I have a resiliency plan for lots of different things. But you know, for example, I like to do my morning pages every morning. I learned that from the artist way. It's very helpful.

1:05:18Emily McDonald:I'm a huge fan of them. There was one time where it brought up something and it kind of made me feel anxious. And I kind of stopped doing them for a while because I didn't want to ruin a bad day. I didn't want to ruin a bad day. I don't want to feel anxious. Like I don't want to start my day off like that. But then what I kind of realized and even worked through with my coach was, no, you need to just have a resiliency plan for when those moments do happen. Like, what are you going to do? And I decided I'm just going to move my body. I'm going to move my body. I'm going to go exercise because that always gets, helps me reset.

1:05:46Emily McDonald:And so having that plan as well for what are, what am I going to do in moments of doubt? And I actually have a resiliency plan for that. I have my friend, actually, she's still in her PhD. It's where we met. And she has been just my biggest believer, biggest supporter since day one. Like she was telling me that I would be where I am when I didn't believe that I would be where I am. And she is just, she's incredible. She's my sister to me. And in those moments, you know, a lot, sometimes when I doubt, like she's the one that I call because she's the one to smack me in the face and be like, what are you doing questioning yourself?

1:06:18Emily McDonald:And so, you know, knowing what to do and having that plan for what are you going to do when you doubt yourself? Maybe it's affirmations. Maybe it's exercise and doing things that make you feel more confident. I have a kind of a collection of things that I do now. Yeah.

1:06:31Lewis Howes:You mentioned about your ADHD journey that I read that you didn't take any medication when you had ADHD and you like just learned how to rewire your brain. So I took it in the beginning and then I went to my PhD and I studied drug addiction.

1:06:45Emily McDonald:So I actually did, you know, have this dream of studying drug addiction, preventing relapse. And I actually went and did that. So I was working in a research lab studying drug addiction, working on identifying new ways to treat and prevent relapse. So I was doing exactly what I said I wanted to do, which, yeah, people were like, I know I went and did just that, like within, you know, anyway. And so but with that being said, when I was studying drug addiction, my minor was medical pharmacology because I had to study drugs and how they work in the brain and the nervous system. and I just remember learning about you know how they actually work and drugs or stimulants ADHD medication okay Adderall Vyvanse in particular and when I learned about how they actually work and about you know side effects are really actually just off target effects and they're real effects they're not side effects they're they're effects they're effects yeah they happen yeah and so they're going to happen right right and so the goal of any drug right is to mitigate off-target effects while still providing the therapy that they're meant to provide.

1:07:49Lewis Howes:How do these ADHD drugs affect the brain?

1:07:53Emily McDonald:There are different types, but Adderall in particular, it is a nervous system stimulant. And so it essentially puts you into fight or flight. Really? And you're just constantly into fight or flight. That can't be good, can it? It can't be, right. And so, I mean, it's just like a chronic elevated cortisol and norepinephrine. And I mean, and they've come out now, and I saw recently a study where they're saying, oh, we've figured out that this medication, it actually doesn't really boost focus. It boosts alertness, wakefulness. And so that's really how they work is they make you super alert. And that's why, at least in my experience and the experience of many people that I work with, they don't necessarily help you focus on the thing you need to focus on.

1:08:34Emily McDonald:They just help you feel super motivated and alert. And whatever you do after that is your choice. And so medication would hit for me and I'm on an hour-long, hours-long rabbit hole scrolling online shopping or whatever, because it's like whatever you're doing when they hit is whatever you get locked in doing. And so I realized, okay, I still need to develop agency and train my ability to direct my focus because without that, I mean, the medications weren't helping me necessarily direct it.

1:09:01Lewis Howes:Towards something productive, right? Empowering.

1:09:04Emily McDonald:So when I learned that though, and I learned how they work and just how they impact the nervous system, and I just made the personal decision to stop.

1:09:11Lewis Howes:They're not good for the nervous system.

1:09:12Emily McDonald:I stopped taking them. Or the brain. It's saying not good, I think, depends. I mean, I don't want to be like, oh, they're bad. And because they helped me and they were sort of a crutch that allowed me to transition.

1:09:23Lewis Howes:A crutch is not a long-term strategy.

1:09:25Emily McDonald:No, it's not a long-term strategy.

1:09:25Lewis Howes:And if you get addicted to a crutch long-term, that's not good. Like when you get off the crutch. It's like how long should they be allowed to be used for until they say, all right, we got to get to the root, not just get the Band-Aid.

1:09:38Emily McDonald:Similar to depression and anxiety, right? You don't want to be on depression medication your entire life. You take it for it to be kind of that bridge to allow you to do the inner work.

1:09:46Lewis Howes:How many people do you think actually make the leap off the bridge into deeper healing work from either ADHD or depression medication? How many people actually go deeper and get off of it?

1:10:00Emily McDonald:I don't think many people do, but I also don't think it's their fault because it's not something that doctors tell you to do.

1:10:09Lewis Howes:Well, it's not profitable to be off of drugs.

1:10:11Emily McDonald:Right. So when I was diagnosed with ADHD, it was just like, okay, you have ADHD. Here's the medication. Forever. No one ever told me you should also train your executive function. Now, it takes a simple Google search now that I know the term. Yeah, yeah. If you search executive function training in ADHD, it's like, yes, everyone should be doing, especially now with social media and like cheap dopamine everywhere. But especially people with ADHD, it's something that should be done. And so, and then, yeah, I also, you know, learning, I was studying drug addiction and I, on days I wouldn't take the Adderall, I was depressed because my brain became dependent on the dopamine from the medication.

1:10:45Lewis Howes:That can't be good.

1:10:46Emily McDonald:There, right. Exactly. And it wasn't good.

1:10:49Lewis Howes:Then you have to stay on it because now you're depressed and then you have to take depression medication to go off of it.

1:10:55Emily McDonald:So I didn't want to be dependent on this for the rest of my life.

1:10:57Lewis Howes:So how did you learn how to not use medication while having ADHD and depressive thoughts?

1:11:03Emily McDonald:I actually used my knowledge of just how stimulants work and I was like all right well if I'm gonna stop taking this I am gonna supplement with caffeine for a little bit so I actually kind of transitioned using caffeine and at first it was like yeah and I really discovered also that green tea just unlocked a whole new level for me that coffee never did like coffee never really made me feel any sort of way and I know a lot of people have ADHD that feel similarly like coffee just doesn't do it. I would drink like so many shots of espresso, take stimulants, take Adderall, like all together. Like, yeah, I know.

1:11:37Emily McDonald:No wonder why I was like so stressed, so anxious, so easily triggered. Um, yeah. And you know, I had like skin issues. I had rashes. I had so many different things going on because of all of that. And so anyway, also I was addicted to nicotine, which I don't think I had mentioned to you, but it was a big reason why I also wanted to study drug addiction. But what I also realized was that the Adderall and the stimulants, they can kind of increase stereotypic behavior. And that's just like a science term for like compulsive, like repeated behaviors, like stereotype behaviors. I found that that was leading me to hit the vape a lot.

1:12:14Emily McDonald:And so when I found that when I stopped taking the Adderall, I stopped craving nicotine as much. And so it allowed me to just stop all of it. But what I did was, yeah, I replaced with, I replaced with supplements and green tea and over time now, I mean, I haven't even really had caffeine today. So I now I'm at this point where I don't even take supplements for focus, but in the beginning I did. So I took a lot of different supplements for focus. I would do like the lion's mane, rhodiola rosea, cordyceps, you know, ginseng, bacopa monieri, like all ginkgo, all the different things. I was on it all.

1:12:47Emily McDonald:And it helps and it really did. And it allowed me to continue to train my brain and I really do think that meditation was huge. You know, you can rely on all the external stuff, but I remember the first time I noticed meditation changing me was I started, I think, the fall of my senior year of undergrad and then that winter, like three months later, I had my first PhD interview and I was sitting in that interview and I remember the person asking me a question and I was able to sit and really think about the question that she had asked me and then respond mindfully. And that might just sound normal to a lot of people.

1:13:25Emily McDonald:But to me, it wasn't because the old version of me was super reactive, super like, as soon as you say something, I got to immediately blurt out a response to get it out of my head. I would be super like interrupt you and all the different things. And I was like, whoa, I just was comfortable in the silence there for a second. And I was actually able to develop a response and really truly respond rather than react to situations. And it's that skill that allows you to create the life that you want. You have to be able to respond because if you're reacting, it's always going to be based on your programming.

1:13:56Emily McDonald:It's always going to be based on the old version of you. You're never reacting as a new version of you because reactions are that kind of immediate impulsive behavior. And so it really is developing that ability to respond that allows you to act as a new version of you. And so that was the first time I had noticed meditation changing my mind and my brain and now I just see it in so many different areas of my life like if I don't know where my keys are I'm able to just pause and literally backtrack and oh this is where my keys are I have two phones because one of them I used to create content and yesterday I couldn't find the phone so where's the phone and I paused and I remember it was in a bag that I threw it into when I was in my car earlier that day because I didn't want it to be on the seat, people to see in the window.

1:14:42Emily McDonald:That's where it is, in that random bag that's in the hallway over there. And just little things like that, I noticed now, I'm like, oh, wow, like I'm just able to unlock this different level of my mind.

1:14:52Lewis Howes:What do you think is the root cause of bad addictions in life? Like alcohol, drugs, you know, I don't know, porn, vaping. Like, what do you think is the root cause? What does neuroscience say is the root cause of a bad addiction?

1:15:06Emily McDonald:I don't want to say that I know what the root cause is for everyone because for me when I started vaping nicotine There wasn't really a cause. It was just all my friends are doing it And so i'm gonna do it everyone around me was doing it. So i'm gonna do it I wasn't necessarily trying to fill any void or like it's just oh, hey Like I was just a silly little teenager, you know

1:15:25Lewis Howes:You said you had adhd you had depressive thoughts you thought about taking on your life So there was something underneath right like i'm a happy person and I'm going to do this addiction.

1:15:34Emily McDonald:So it's sort of seeking out something outside of you to give you dopamine to make you feel better.

1:15:39Lewis Howes:Exactly. Right. So yes, you were pressured. Right. Why did I continue to do it?

1:15:44Emily McDonald:Because I'm like, oh, I liked it. But also I had all these other, you know, maladaptive behaviors of partying and drinking and doing all those things.

1:15:51Lewis Howes:Your environment, sure. That was the drug of choice because your friends were vaping. But maybe it would have been alcohol if you were older or whatever. I don't know. But underneath, what is the neuroscience underneath an addiction. Is it trauma? Right.

1:16:05Emily McDonald:It's kind of seeking out something outside of you to make you feel better because that's what addiction, that's what drug, all drugs of abuse boost dopamine in the reward centers of the brain, all of them.

1:16:16Lewis Howes:They make you feel better. Yeah. When you don't feel good, something inside of you feels off.

1:16:20Emily McDonald:But what's so interesting about drugs, especially addictive drugs, is that it's only in the beginning that they make you feel good. And then over time, your dopamine system actually shifts to where you don't even necessarily get that pleasure from doing it anymore you're actually just doing it to avoid discomfort and that's when you know addiction really sets in is you know over time it's not i'm hitting the vape because it feels good and i'm getting dopamine it's i'm hitting it because i'm anxious if i don't and that sort of starts to happen right when our brain becomes dependent and our neurochemistry actually adapts to using this drug because that's what it does it adapts like over time your receptors sort of learn this new behavior it's like okay if we're always getting dopamine from this like let me down regulate dopamine receptors and that way we're less sensitive to it and now it's like you literally need the drug to get to get that a pleasurable experience and then you start to yeah so your brain literally becomes dependent on that thing in order to maintain a baseline homeostatic state and then that's why that's where withdrawal happens when you don't have it so it only really feels good in the beginning and like something as simple that maybe most people can relate to is social media um in the beginning i remember when i first went on like facebook when i was younger in the beginning you went on because it was cool and fun you get to see your friends and talk and and then it gets to this point where you're on your phone and you're on social media and you don't even know how you got there it's like you're it's like an automatic behavior and And it becomes a stimulus response behavior where initially when we do things like drugs or social media or any sort of gambling, whatever it is, you do it because it's a goal-directed behavior.

1:17:59Emily McDonald:You're doing it for a reason, whether it be to feel better, get dopamine. Maybe it could even be as simple as, I want to stay close with people in this friend group, whatever it is. And then over time, it develops into a stimulus response relationship where you see it, You do it and it's become saved into like the habit centers of your brain. So don't get addicted to drugs.

1:18:23Lewis Howes:Yeah. Don't get addicted to drugs. It's going to be hard to get off. You've accomplished a lot of your dreams that you envisioned years ago for yourself. You know, you, you overcame the limiting beliefs that you had in a lot of areas. You overcame a victim mindset, a scarcity mindset. And to have what you said, like all these amazing things in your life, this business, the relationship, the house, the car, all these things that you imagined having. If you could go three to five years in the future, what is the limiting belief you'll need to let go of in order to be the human you want to be at the highest version then?

1:19:00Emily McDonald:I think just the first belief that comes to mind maybe is that I need to do more to get more. And it's definitely something that I have experienced in the past where it's not always about doing more. It is always about though, getting your energy right and having your energy in alignment. Um, and just really just being in your joy and, and just feeling your best. I have had so many times where I'm maybe having a stressful week and there are a couple of days where I'm taking life super seriously and I'm, you know, got that grip on the wheel of life. And then I make a plan to go see my best friend and I'm in the car and I immediately just feel better.

1:19:44Emily McDonald:I'm like, wow, this is about to be so fun. I'm so excited. And then all of a sudden I get an email about an opportunity and then the thing comes and it's just like, wow, it really does come to you when you feel good.

1:19:53Lewis Howes:Yeah, when you're living in joy.

1:19:54Emily McDonald:Right. And so I think for me, you know, just getting to this like next level and this other thing, it maybe isn't always about doing more, but how can I feel my best and making that the number one priority?

1:20:07Lewis Howes:That's great. That's great. We've got a couple of final questions for you. Before we get to the last couple of ones, I wanted people to check out everything you're up to. You've got great social media content. They can go to your website, monthebrain on social media, monthebrain.com. You've got a coaching program called Minecraft as well. A lot of other cool stuff. You've got a book coming out in the future. We'll have to have you come back on when that book is coming out. But people can sign up for your newsletter and subscribe everyone on social media. monthebrain if you guys want more great content.

1:20:37Lewis Howes:And this is a question I ask everyone towards the end. It's called the three truths. You're what, 27? Is that how you are? So imagine you get to live, you know, past 100. And imagine the next, you know, 70 plus years that you get to design and live exactly where you want it to be. Every dream happens. Everything you want comes true. But at the end of the day, the last day on earth for you, you have to take all of your work with you. Everything you've ever created, written, spoken, videos, they all have to go to the next place. They're not here in this world anymore. But you get to leave behind three truths to the world.

1:21:16Lewis Howes:Three things you feel like you know to be true as lessons that you would leave behind. What would those truths be?

1:21:22Emily McDonald:First is to live in your joy. Live in your joy. As long as you're living in your joy, then you're enjoying life. And life is about the journey. If it were about the destination, it would be called death. so I I think it's like if you're living in your joy then it doesn't really matter what you achieve it's you're happy and I think living in your joy as often as you possibly can is so important and also like like joy is a performance enhancer so I mean you'll do better you'll be better and you'll have more fun doing it so live in your joy would be number one number two is that you are the creator of your life, you are the creator of your life.

1:22:02Emily McDonald:And I think, you know, anyone could take that and extrapolate it and, you know, apply it to themselves. And it's not meant to be, you know, you need to do this, but more of just like, you are the creator of your life and you can do anything. I guess that's number three, is you can do anything you set your mind to. Like you really can, like never forget how powerful you are. Maybe that's four, but I think that, you know, we it's so easy to forget how powerful we are and it comes down to just something as simple as literally driving in the car and remembering oh wait i'm extremely powerful i can just be like an unexpected blessing or opportunity is going to come to me today and all of a sudden my brain shifts and now all of a sudden my energy shifts and then all of a sudden i'm laying in bed that night and i'm like whoa that thing happened today or maybe i notice it during the day i'm like whoa but you know it's little moments like that that just remind you yeah I'm so powerful it's like why and it's so easy to forget because I think it's just not common and everybody out there isn't talking about it you don't walk around and then that's actually one of the reasons why I love Arizona is just because it's super common there like everybody is very spiritual but it's just not common when we walk around people aren't like you're so powerful like you could do anything and just like oh yeah the power of the mind and it's just so easy to forget that and every time I remember it, it just immediately relieves so much stress as well.

1:23:21Emily McDonald:And this allows me to relax into life. So those would be my thing.

1:23:24Lewis Howes:Live with a dream, Emily. I want to acknowledge you for everything you've created. You're making a big impact on the world. You're constantly showing up in your joy. And there's a lot of people that aren't as consistent as you. And I think taking what you've learned from neuroscience in school and starting to apply it by sharing it while in the practice, a lot of people wait and say, let me wait till I get my degree. Let me wait till I have all these credentials to start sharing. And you just said, I'm going to share what I'm learning personally and what I'm learning in school and put it out there.

1:23:55Lewis Howes:So I want to acknowledge you for being on that journey and being of service and not waiting to share your gifts with the world. It's really cool what you're up to. So congrats on everything.

1:24:03Emily McDonald:Thank you.

1:24:04Lewis Howes:Congrats on the engagement from the business, everything you're up to. It's really cool. Final question. What's your definition of greatness?

1:24:11Emily McDonald:Living as your favorite version of yourself.

1:24:13Lewis Howes:There you go. Emily McDonald. Thank you. Appreciate it. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally, as well as ad-free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review.

1:24:48Lewis Howes:I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward. And I want to remind you if no one has told you lately that you are loved, you are worthy and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.

1:25:13Lewis Howes:Imagine never buying gas again. Just plug in your car like you plug in your phone. That's the power of driving electric. It's not just good for the planet. It's actually more convenient and more affordable. I've actually been driving a Tesla for a couple of years now, and I love it. I can charge it overnight in my garage, and when I'm on the go, I hit a fast charger, and I'm back on the road in no time. No gas stops, no oil changes, just smooth, quiet, reliable drives. EVs are built for real life with daily range that lets you go wherever you need to go without worry. And the savings? Up to$2 ,000 a year just by skipping the gas pump.

1:25:48Lewis Howes:And with over 100 new and used EV models available right now, there's truly something for every lifestyle and budget. The way forward is electric. Learn more at electricforall.org. confidence it's listening to your gut it's moving forward even when the path ahead is unclear for nearly 160 years pacific life has helped people keep their promises building confidence for generations whether you're confident in your financial future or just beginning to envision it we're here to help ask a financial professional how pacific life the power of a promise pacific

1:26:24Emily McDonald:life insurance company omaha nebraska and in new york pacific life and annuity phoenix arizona