The Real Reason You Keep Stopping Before You Succeed | Dean Graziosi

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27:28Lewis Howes:Don't risk your business on unreliable lenders. Go to nerdwallet.com slash greatness to find the funding you deserve. Fundera, Inc. N-M-L-S-I-D, number 1240038. What's your thoughts about the fisherman's story? The story of the fish, like the guy who's like catching fish every single day, and then the businessman comes and he's like, oh. Tell me the story. I never heard it. I don't know the whole story. Okay. I think you've heard the story. It's like the guy, the fisherman in the village, and there's like a tourist that goes there, and he meets the fisherman who, he's like catching a fish. He seems super happy, and he's like fishing on his little boat.

28:04Lewis Howes:Oh, yeah, got it. And then he's like, oh, why don't you expand and get multiple boats and make more money? And then you could get investors and then sell one day. And he's like, well, then what? He's like, well, then you could have all this empire and the fishing empire. But then what? And then when you retire, you could come back and you could fish every single day and hang out with your wife and kids and play music and have a siesta and enjoy your life. I'm sure you've heard that story before. Yeah. So what do you think about that story versus the need to be driven? So I think growing. Because there are people like that who - I might be misunderstood.

28:40I don't care if my kids are driven when it comes to finances and building businesses like I was. I'm partners with Tony Robbins, for God's sakes. We're driven on impact. How many lives, I mean, every week we talk, how many lives did we touch this week? How many people's lives have changed? It is obsessive sometimes, right? But that fits me. I don't care if my kids ever care about building a business or being the fisherman that doubles and triples in three boats. I want my kids to do whatever makes them happy. If they're happy on the boat, being out there every day, catching 10 fish and coming in, I'd be the happiest dad alive as long as they were growing.

29:16Because here, I'm just, just again, especially being partners with Tony and being in this industry for 30 years, the saddest people I see are the ones that set their life just in auto, just like on cruise control. And they think that this was good. And they get to the end and they're back saying, I need to feel alive. I didn't do enough. I had more to give, right? What did Dale Carnegie say? The greatest plight of the human race is knowing you have more potential and not utilize it. So the potential doesn't have to be building businesses, but you gotta stretch yourself. You gotta learn. You gotta grow.

29:51I know you. And maybe it's a bad example. I have never seen a learner like you in my life. When you came to our mastermind, it was four or five months ago. I watched you take notes like you did. You knew half the stuff. You were taking notes like you didn't know any of it.

30:04Lewis Howes:Sure. Didn't you feel alive after that weekend? Yeah, of course. Yeah, it was great. Then how do, I mean, you know a lot of wealthy people. And why do you think it's so hard for even some of the most successful people to separate their self-worth from their net worth or their bank account? Really great question because it all's merged together. We try to say that there's a life and business separation. Like there is no such thing. It all intertwines together. And we live in a time where significance is like, you know, especially with everything that's online and you get to see and everybody seems like they have the perfect life and they're making more money and it was easier for them.

30:49Significance is like, it's just prominent, right? And I think it's, I would love to say there's an easy way to switch that, but there really is. There's an easier way is, you know, the old saying, count your blessings. I know that sounds crazy, but I find myself falling into that trap still to this day. What's the trap you fall into the most? That when you, when I surround myself with people are doing better than me, I think I'm doing good. Then I get in a room and I'm like, I'm broke. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, and it's still in there. And that insecure, broke kid from seventh grade without lunch money goes, see, because you're not that smart, you can't get where they are.

31:32It's still in there. And then I have to say, I look around and go, okay, look where I've been. So here's a couple of things. Number one, when you feel that way, the immediate thing you should do is look in your rear view mirror because we forget where we came from. Yes. We're looking to the horizon. We're trying to trace the horizon and you can never get, I don't care how fast you run or a sunset, chasing a sunset. You're never gonna get there. But we're always chasing the ideal version of us. And sometimes that gets, you can't get there. So you gotta turn around and go, look where I was a year ago, six years ago, 16 years ago.

32:07That's number one. Number two, I said, count your blessings. I said that for a reason, is when I feel that way, I'll immediately say, maybe I could have been a little more successful. But I have an amazing relationship with all four of my kids. I love my wife more than anything. I have an amazing relationship with her. My 19-year-old daughter's with me traveling right now, right? I think my team, just like you and your partner, Matt, and team here, you have such an amazing team. They all love each other. I've been to places where the team can't stand each other. Partners fighting. I get alone and somebody says, I say, how's your wife?

32:38Oh, and they complain about the, like, and then I start thinking how blessed I am with the balance I have. And as soon as I put my brain in that mode of looking in the rearview mirror, look how far I've come. Look what's in front of me. Hey, then all of a sudden the third one is, I'm like so good for them that they can set the bar of what's possible. And my nervous system calms down and all of a sudden I'm back and it's gone. But I'm telling you, the reason I'm sharing that because you say it and I'd love to be the person that says, no, that doesn't affect me anymore. I'd be lying to you. I'd be lying to you.

33:11Lewis Howes:And I guess in some ways, in order for us to keep growing, we can't just be with people that are, you know, not doing as much or more than us, you know, in some ways. We need to be surrounding ourselves with people that inspire us. Absolutely. Who've created something that... And the one thing I'll add to it, and you're so good at this, and, you know, we work hard on this, is it's not just someone who's had more success. the best thing you could do is find people with the same values as you yeah that you have and has more success yeah because you and i have both met very successful people that i would never want their life no i wouldn't switch with me with them in a million years neither would you where they might be killing it here but no connection to family killing it here their kids they haven't seen them in months yeah killing right unhealthy or unhealthy right so i think we have to we have to we definitely need to surround ourself with people who inspire us Just make sure they have the same values that you do.

34:06That's it.

34:08Lewis Howes:I mean, I'm going back to kind of where we're at right now in the world. Again, I just see the wars. I see the chaos. I see the divisiveness. I see AI changing so much. How do we stay calm under all this uncertainty and chaos that's here? And it seems like even more is going to be coming. Yeah. I think that's one of the best questions in today's world. And I've been obsessing. And how do the best world leaders that you're surrounding yourself with stay calm, knowing that they have a lot of wealth and influence or power right now, but they might have to lay off 1 ,000 people because of AI. They might have to make some tough decisions, or the stock market might crash, or something half their wealth might go away.

34:51Lewis Howes:How are they thinking right now? Well, I've never been in a time. I've been fortunate, especially, again, being partners with Tony and the people I blessed to surround myself with, I've never seen a time where nobody really has the answer. I think that's the space we're in. No one has the answer. No, no one has the answer. They all might think they do, but - But no one really does. And just in so many times in changing history, you can go, what do they say? Model proven practices. When I wanted to know more about AI, I interviewed 50 AI experts just so I could find the pattern. You've done it your whole life.

35:29I mean, it's what your career is. and I find this, I'm like, oh, that's one pattern of success. Oh, that's one. This one actually makes you more human. This one actually just buys you time back. Simplification, right? You find these things. So in my life, whenever I'm like, how do I go to another level? How do I shift? The changing economy, the real estate market's down. There's new technology. There's always somebody that's like, oh, I've been there. Let me just tell you. Because real estate, let's just take real estate, for example. It's been the same since the beginning of time. Like what's much different of buying a house or flipping house today than 100 years ago, 50 years ago?

35:59Not sure. Not much, hardly anything, right? Where we're going is uncharted territory. We've never had anything that's smarter than us, faster than us, quicker than us. So I don't think anyone has that answer. So if you can't find the answer for your certainty, then you gotta get the inside strong, right? You have to find inside of you that you become, you know, again, another silly analogy, but you become the thermostat to adjust your emotions, not the thermometer. thermometer. The thermometer goes up and down with whatever changes. You can go up and down with all the new news about AI, the wars going on, the inflation that's coming, the stock market issues.

36:36You follow that roller coaster, you're in for a ride. You're on the adult crazy roller coaster that drops you off, spins you around, flips you around. And I don't think there's been a better time in history to have to work on the inside so you can handle this. Because things are

36:53Lewis Howes:They're less predictable. They're just, they are. I mean, do you ever see, whether you like Elon Musk or not, do you ever see when they interview him and talk about three years from now, he goes, he knocks it out. He said, when people ask him about five years from now, you know what he does? He pauses and he goes, I'd rather not talk about that. I've seen him do it in two or three interviews or he diverts it or goes, that's a whole nother story. Let's stick in the, I can, he said in one of them, he said, I can be really optimistic around the next three to four. And it's not because he's pessimistic.

37:18He can't see it. I don't think anyone can. I mean, right now, the way AI is growing, AI is actually, the reason it's going faster than they thought, because it's teaching itself and it's building itself.

37:28Lewis Howes:Crazy. Right? I think where the problem comes when, let's just take AI, for example. When people want to learn AI, they might go on YouTube, might find somebody, you start watching videos. It's like, oh my God, do I need to get a Mac mini and a claw bot? What's a claw bot? Do I do an agent? Do I just use AI? Is it like, ah, right? I think people are starting off on like step five. And it's the same for anything. So AI, any change in your life. I think any change has to start with a compelling reason, like a purpose. Why do I want this in the first place? And then once you have a reason like, oh, what if I could use AI to just save me five hours a week?

38:06Just get rid of the stuff I don't want to do. Could it automate that? That's my purpose because I want that time to coach Little League for my son. He's six years old. I want to coach Little League. So now you got a purpose, right? That calms the nervous system. The next thing is you got to overcome the fear because if your brain's thinking this is gonna end the world, robots someday, craziness, start World War III. If you do that, you don't move forward. So then you gotta find a way to say, hey, humanity's gonna find a way through this. And I'm just gonna say, AI is gonna help cure cancer, solve jobs that nobody wants, and we're gonna find a way to all flourish.

38:39Like you said, with Wayne Dyer, got the leukemia, might as well focus on the solution. So the first is, right? The first is you gotta have a reason why you're doing it. The second thing is you gotta overcome the fear. then the third thing you got to embrace change and got to say hey if i stay here probably not going to work out right right i'm on the side of the mountain if i just stay here i can't hang in the side of the mountain forever so i got to probably go up right so it's one of those things like the farmer using the tractor i mean would you do business with anybody who didn't have the internet right now no in a year from now will you do anybody will you hire anybody that doesn't know ai probably not you won't so then you got to say i got to embrace this change and then after change you got to cut through the clarity.

39:18You got to cut through the clutter. Meaning there's a million apps, a million things. Pick one and go deep. I'm just going to learn chat GPT. I'm going to learn how to get five hours a week back with this one thing. Then you start the education, right? If you miss those first steps, then you're jumping right into the overwhelm. You have a little fear. You're afraid to change. You stop. The clutter, you're stuck. So with any process, that is kind of also Tony Robbins 101.

39:44Lewis Howes:Yeah. What are the, I know you're teaching a lot of this right now with AI, but what are the three most powerful ways your time accelerate growth or help you build financial wealth? So I can only say this not because I'm an AI expert, but I am a good modeler, right? So are you. Yes. Right? So I interviewed enough people to get a pattern. And one of the biggest patterns, it's one of the things that Tony and I teach, is get your AI to know you deeply. Most people are using it as one-offs. You want it to help you write a marketing email. You want it to do something that an attorney would typically do.

40:24And people are kind of using it as a one-off like Google. And it'll give you a good answer. But the more context it has, the deeper it knows you. So what does that mean? you could literally go on your phone, say you have a chat GPT account, and just talk to it for 20 minutes and tell it your ideas, your goals, your constraints, your worries, where you hope the company's gonna go, how much you love your wife, how many kids you have. And people say, yeah, you're telling it a lot, aren't you? I'm like, well, if you have social media, they already know. The world already knows, right? But the deeper it knows you, and then you start telling what your daily tasks are, your weekly tasks, your weekly goals, the things that usually hold you back.

41:03think about if think about if you hired matt matt is an a player love that guy right say you just hired matt today and matt's smart and strong and matt walks in it's the first day you're hiring that's that's ai matt's ai and you say matt i'd love you to get me four new guests that are going to help solve the big problem of xyz and i'd really love for you to get it uh in the next two weeks thanks and he walked out he'd be like what does he want female guests women like men guests does Does he want them all at one time? Does he want them over three months? And what is the problem he really wants?

41:35He might figure it out and come back and be pretty good because Matt's smart. But what if you spent an hour with Matt and say, let me tell you where I started. Let me tell you what I believe. Let me tell you how much I care about people. Let me tell you why I called the School of Greatness. And he got all that context. And he said, the reason I want these four guests is because I want one to solve this. I want the other one to solve this. I want two to be men, two to be women, one to be a couple. Then he goes out and comes back and you get the answer. You're like, he's the brightest guy in the world.

41:59most people aren't doing that yet with ai teach it tell it what you need tell it what you want let it get to know you it will be a completely different answer that's number one i can give you a second one yeah a second one you know in business they call it an sop you know what that is right a standing standing operating procedure it just means the process yeah like if you documented how you made peanut butter and jelly right get the peanut butter get the jelly put one on put that right just a process some people call it a playbook right in ai terms they call it a workflow it's all the same thing so i would take once once you get ai to know you a little more first off the next question i'll just go back the next question you can ask after it gets to know you is tell it everything you have going on that week and then say how can you help me with what's on my plate to save five hours this week it'll give you the answer that's interesting it'll give you the answer.

42:55And then you can say, if I didn't give you all the information you need about me to save that five hours, ask me the questions I need to answer to get me that five hours. You'll save that five hours. And time is the most precious thing, right? So once you do that, you're like, because this is why I say it can make you more human. If you get five hours back, you can actually do the stuff that makes you more human, right? So that's number one. So now that you've got this thing knowing you and helping you and you'll start shifting your mind, you'll start trusting it a little more. I just watched it happen.

43:20We've trained about 600 ,000 people so far, so I can and watch it happen. The next thing is pick one thing that you do and document all the steps, right? Whether that's getting up in the morning to go do your workout, if you want it for personal, or the way you raise your children, or a procedure at work. Like this is how I book an appointment, it's how I get someone on the phone. Then once I call them, this is what I say, this is how I follow up, this is what I send them as an email. And just document one standing operating procedure, one playbook, one workflow, and then load that into the same AI and say, where in this workflow can you help me go faster?

44:00And it'll blow your mind. It'll say, hey, I could do this thing. I could send out the daily reminder email on my own. I could do this thing. I could do that thing. And it just gives you a different, it's like having a really smart personal assistant that's there to work for you 24 hours, seven days a week. So I think if you look at that, it's a less scary approach than what it seems like uh everybody's sharing out there and and both you and tony have

44:24Lewis Howes:been kind of researching and interviewing the top ai experts in the world what would you say is the single most surprising thing that you feel you learned that everyone watching or listening needs to know so because we we bought and partnered with a guy that we thought out of those 50 interviews we found somebody we really liked we thought he was the most pragmatic guy on explaining complicated stuff his name is igor i flew to germany ended up having lunch with him over there we bought his company and he's our head of ai education so we get the unfair advantage of having somebody on the bleeding guy yeah yeah here's what i'll tell you the more you learn about ai the more you feel behind yeah because you're like life yeah it's like the smarter you get the dumber you are you're like gosh isn't that so true i know nothing you're like i'm an idiot yeah right i i have uh He set up a personal, him and the team set up a personal agent that works for me.

45:19And I just text with it all day. 24-7.

45:23Lewis Howes:It's like an AI assistant? Yeah, it's an AI assistant, but it's my own personal agent. Is this through ChatGPT, Cloud? No, it's through a mix of three. It knows everything. It has my DNA. It knows the goals, my company, my life. And I'll show you when we're done. But I literally, I can use my voice memo. I can be like, I named him Marco. I'm like, Marco, do the research on this. Write this document. Do me a favor. when you're done, text Bianca, my assistant, and let her know that I'm going to be five minutes late to the next appointment, and book reservations for me and my daughter downtown in LA, because we're here overnight, because we're going to be with Louis.

45:53And like, great, Dean, I got that. Anything else you need from me? Wow.

45:56Lewis Howes:That's cool. Now, that's not where the world is right now. That's probably 1%. And I would not be there if I didn't have a partner that helped set that up. Yeah, that's cool. But it's a cool thing to know it's coming. Again, scary and cool. But like anything in life, here's what I'm saying. When the internet before it came out, everybody was freaked out about what was going to happen right and even if you're freaked out could you literally say you could live life right now without the internet could you could you i mean could you like my daughter we were driving live i mean like could you live a normal life without it right now like we were driving here i said tricky i said kid we're coming to lewis's and we just plug it in i said 20 years ago you gotta look at a map yeah right pictures phone It's tougher.

46:37Right, so it's tougher. What I'm saying is we're not going to be able to function at the pace of which things are going without utilizing. You don't have to be an AI expert. You don't have to have an agent tomorrow, but you've got to be using it to leverage your time. And some people don't want to hear that, but it's just here.

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48:46Lewis Howes:Just start small and keep it simple. Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Go to quince.com slash Lewis for free shipping and 365 day return. now available in Canada too. Go to quince.com slash Lewis for free shipping and 365 day returns. quince.com slash Lewis. What do you think is 2026 right now? What do you think by 2020, or excuse me, what do you think by 2030 we'll be at with AI? I think all of us will have for sure an agent that just helps us. When they say an agent, it's really just a it's a digital employee a bot that he's talking to and and um i heard a friend of mine leor talks about uh bits um and atoms and over the next two or three years everything that's a bit meaning online ai is going to be able to go faster no matter what it is attorneys are going to have a tough time engineers are going to have a tough time right because the the ai will write your contract in 13 seconds better because it just it absorbs all the best attorneys and so anything that's a bit mean transferred online over the next three years everybody's going to get comfortable with having that as your partner that's that's probably the easiest way to say it and then probably if i mean if you if you i just listen i did all these interviews but within five years it's going to turn into atoms and that same relationship you build is going to be downloaded it into a robot that can help you at home clean your house do your lawn you know if you listen to elon it's three years away if you listen to most they say it's five but it's coming but it's coming it's gonna know everything about you he'll know everything about you and it'll hopefully support and serve you yeah to live a better life hopefully yeah you just gotta hope i'm just gonna focus on it is man i mean you have been extremely successful in different industries over the years.

50:43I think it was like cars, sales, right?

50:46Lewis Howes:And the originally used cars, I think you're into like back in the 20s, then real estate for decades, you mastered that. And you continue to evolve in different industries. What did the real estate industry, when you were at the peak, I mean, infomercial, daily, you know, just building a massive portfolio of properties, teaching others how to do the same all around the country and the world. what did you learn from that industry that you've really applied now to this level of success that you have in your current business model yeah great question um well on the real estate itself side the reason i was able to teach it so well because i bought and sold over a thousand houses right so i wasn't just teaching i was living it experience it so every time i'd learn something it would go sideways or go good i'd get to share it right you learned all those pieces so i learned i mean in that industry i learned how to run a business effectively i learned operations i learned processes and systems they stick with you for life operations and systems no matter what business you're in they're all the same right you still got to operate the same way you could take matt and put him in any industry kill it crush it right because he's got so you learn that but what i learned the most in the real estate education i feel blessed that we we taught so many hundreds of thousands of people around the world is i did learn what i shared with you earlier is most people out there our brand ended up being if you remember it was the biggest real estate brand in the world for a decade right um we taught more people than anyone and i always would watch people not rip it off and you're smart but they would they would jump to just real estate education and would freak people out and i love so this is one there's a takeaway that i wasn't expecting to share but sometimes we have to sell people what they want and deliver them what they need so people wanted i only taught people that were first-time investors to get in their first house because that's what i was so good i was broke i got in my first 20 houses with creative financing and you know a lot of that pace morby listen to my quote yeah he listened with his dad to my tapes when he was in the car when he was 14 yeah right and he's doing fantastic um when i say that sell them what they want and give what they need everybody needed to learn how to do their first real estate deal.

52:59So they could have some passive income or do a fix and flip, right? I wasn't teaching people to do 100 deals. I was teaching them to do this one.

53:04Lewis Howes:But they wanted to learn how to make millions. They wanted millions, but they needed to learn how to do one deal. Well, even if they wanted to do one deal or be really, they wanted to make a lot of money, whatever that was, in most cases, I still had to work on their mindset because it was still a change. They were still afraid. What if the property was wrong and I lost all my money? How do I overcome that fear? There's a million, do I buy, fix, and flip? Do I buy and hold? do I wholesale? No, let's have one path. So what I learned was through real estate that we do in our company mastermind and what we do with our other companies, what we're doing now with the AI advantage is, yeah, you need to learn this thing, but what you, you might need to learn this thing, but you might want this thing, but I know you need to get in the right mindset.

53:47I need you to overcome fear. I need you to embrace change. I need you to see one path, not 200. And then if I get you in that spot then you're open enough to learn what i have to teach you and that's really our secret sauce and everybody skips the first four and like i have better education then why isn't anybody getting success right because you're not in their head you're not helping them overcome

54:05Lewis Howes:the stuff that's stuck made them sick gosh it's so interesting because when i asked you like what's the one skill that everyone needs to learn to really be successful in the future financially you said communication and i think i would also add courage to that you know because it's like Like it's learning to, cause you could have all the skills. Yeah, that's a great, great thought. You can know how to communicate. You can have the doctorate degree. You can have the AI degree, but you still have to like put yourself out there. You still have to talk to someone and speak in front of them. You still have to drop that video online to say, hey, this is my perspective and I'm putting myself out in the world.

54:39Lewis Howes:Such a good point. And it's like the courage. It's funny cause I was just speaking about, you know, to a bunch of entrepreneurs a couple of weeks ago at a mastermind. And it was about AI. the whole weekend. And I was speaking for a half a day. And I said, I know this is about AI, but it's not about AI. It's about courage. It's about, God, it's so true. It is because you have to have, and you were talking about the first thing is getting inside their mind and their hearts to overcome the fears, right? And you can learn all the education, you know, around real estate or around AI or whatever. Not anything.

55:11Lewis Howes:Anything. But it's like you were teaching mindset principles. And it's really like the emotional ability to put yourself out there and fail because it's going to happen at some point you're going to buy a bad deal you're going to make some stupid comment that people are going to judge you for you're going to not look good in some way and it's having the courage to do it first and then continue to do it after you make yourself look like a fool over and over again it's so funny because you nailed it on that one and the what i was sharing about that toolbox that's what your courage comes from that toolbox whether it's i don't want to be like my dad yeah or i don't want to get to the end of my life and miss it and regret that future pacing can give you courage in the moment that's it and it's everything and and really you're right because listen we both know people that move forward that weren't qualified and they figured it out uneducated and they they jumped out of the plane they grew wings on the way down and someone else is sitting in the plane over reading checking the wings reading the instructions finally finally the plane lands and you missed your opportunity to jump.

56:11Lewis Howes:They're 10 degrees, they're overqualified and they're still broke. Yeah. And they lack that one tool. It's like that one, I mean, they probably know how to communicate perfectly in front of an audience if it's like perfectly manicured, but it's like when it's messy, you have the ability. I'll tell you one more piece about courage. So I teach courage is such a big foundational piece and I'm glad you brought that up. But I always say people think confidence comes first. It doesn't. The precursor to confidence is courage because you don't get confident until you're in the game. like let's just say with the sport that you're you're doing so well handball and killing it you don't get the confidence to play until you're in the game true till you get yeah you need to get out a little you need to get results you need to fail you try something it doesn't work get it in your mind just thinking about it no right you could be in the stands watching but you have to be courageous enough to get out on the field yes even when you play bad at first and then eventually you learn the pieces and where does courage come from when you go, oh, I know the bad roads.

57:10I know the good roads. I have the confidence to move forward. But the precursor is courage.

57:16Lewis Howes:It is. And just to give context on that, I mean, I've been pursuing this dream of going to the Olympics for, it's been 18 years now. That's amazing. That's why I said you're stubborn. Yeah, when I first saw it in 2008, I first became aware of this sport, handball. And it's been 18 years now. I've been like, okay, I became aware of this idea, handball, in the Olympics that I can potentially go there if I get good enough. I've been on and off the team for, I don't know, 15 years now. And I've been on a continual journey of trying to get better towards 2028. So it's been 18 years. Wow. And there is a, I have a vision of myself on the court at the Olympics, wearing USA across my chest in a jersey, playing and scoring a goal for Team USA.

58:03Lewis Howes:I have that vision. It repeats in my mind. I see it throughout all my day. And I also know it's not guaranteed. Just because I see it doesn't mean it's 100 % guaranteed. It doesn't mean it will happen no matter what. But if you don't try, it's 100 % guaranteed you won't. And I'll regret it forever. You absolutely will. But the fear, the sneaky fear comes up, and I can understand a lot of people's fears because I'm investing so much into it. Time, energy, money, promotion. I'm putting myself I'm talking about it all the time all these things and what happens if I fail like what happened what are people going to think about me if it doesn't work out what happens about all the time lost like all these things could creep in my mind as well that's the man in the arena it is but I just say well I have to have faith and trust that if this is on my heart and it keeps telling and this this keeps speaking to me to do it today and to keep seeing this through for the next couple years whatever happens is going to happen it's kind of out of my control but I don't want to live with the regret when I'm an old man.

59:07I was just going to say, I mean, not to oversimplify it, but the end of your life, even if this didn't work, could you imagine if you didn't try? I would beat myself up. That would be so heavy for you. I think you get to the end of your life and you go, I put 20 years in it. It didn't work, but damn, did I try. And I met people, I did the thing, and you're going to have amazing stories. Yes. Imagine telling your grandchildren, you know, I thought about being in the Olympics for 20 years. What did you do about it, grandpa? Nothing. nah you know listen i was older it's not the safe you know it's not the biggest sport everyone's half my age yeah everybody's younger you know it'd be like grandpa's a dud you know i know i can't

59:42Lewis Howes:live like that and now having kids like i feel even more of like man i can't speak to them in the future about i didn't go for it but you should right you should even when everything's against you even when it's but isn't that where most things happen when everything's against you like you know when you feel like the underdog when you feel like it's the wrong things like isn't the greatest story in the world the underdog story you watch sea biscuit or rudy or rocky why do you feel that way because it's the underdog story and we're all underdogs exactly and when you have the chance to go i'm an underdog probably got a small percentage it's going to happen but i'm going for it anyway yeah i think that just i think that we all need that in our own way in our own size whatever matches your life why do you think so many people lack the courage to put themselves out there to actually go for it because probably only 10 % of the world actually goes for exactly what they want all the way through to the end and the rest maybe they go a little bit but then they fall back in the comfort zone like why is it so hard for people to be courageous to actually try the new thing go for their dreams I don't know if I know I have an answer for why but what i i'd love to present a little solution that it is a muscle that if you pick something maybe this week you pick something that scares you that you've been putting off the thing you should have said yes to a long time ago or the thing you should have said no to a long time ago and just do it this week yeah because what you do is when you're when you're pat when you get through it you're like that wasn't that bad like the anticipation it's the anticipation it's like you know you're in a relationship when you're young and you know you got to end it and you're thinking about for six months, every day, your stomach's churning.

1:01:22And then you bring it up and the other person's like, I was thinking the same thing, but we can be friends. And you're like, I just killed myself. For five years or something. Yeah. A decade. A decade. Right. So I think, I think what helps move you in the right direction is pick something that you've been putting off this week and just freaking do it. Tony says this, and I love giving him credit where credit's due, but Tony always says, courage is not moving forward in the absence of fear. courage is moving forward even though you're scared and when you hear that it's like i know it's scary to have this conversation say yes to say no but i'm having it and then you get done you're like well that what else can i do so i would just say start getting some start flexing

1:01:58Lewis Howes:your courage muscle where's the area of your life you've lacked courage the most lately oh i'm pretty damn courageous only because i built the muscle over years i have to say so uh again just just being transparent tony robbins my partner my dearest friend in the world we talk almost every night about a year ago tony calls me and said this ai thing it's gonna it's gonna crush people he just knows the human condition so much you just had a great interview with him not that long ago i loved it it was so good he cares deeply more than most people would ever think right you think it's just part of his jam he doesn't have to work a day in his life he he's this is he's obsessed with so he calls me a year ago to say i think it's gonna cripple people it's too fast to change it's coming too quick the mind's not going to be able to help it people are going to fall apart we got to do something about it i said i know i've been thinking the same thing so then like three months later he calls me late at night he says can you talk i'm like of course i'll be right next i call him back he's we gotta do it now i can hear him like hitting the table we gotta do it now we have to launch an education platform for people around a and we gotta do it in the next 90 days people are losing their mind and he he said and there's a lot of People are going to be charlatans out there and say how to get rich with AI, how to learn it overnight for doing nothing.

1:03:12He goes, they're going to screw people up, make them more of one. We got to do this. So we talked and it was like 90 days before we set the time in November. We did our first AI event. We had like 700 ,000 people come. And I have to say, I was like, fear hit me. I was like, what if I let Tony down? What if I let people? I'm not the AI expert. I'm 57. I've been education, self-education for all these years, for 30 years. Tony, 47. we know we have this philosophy of getting their minds first overcoming the fear get a purpose overcome change overcome change and get and that's when i'm like all right the only way i can do this i gotta find 50 experts i can interview and i gotta do it in rapid speed i was just interviewing interviewing i was getting smarter at every interview but i have to tell you you asked me when i was scared i was scared at first i'm like what if i let tone down like he puts so much faith in what i do he's like you got this no one could do this better than you i'm like you know um but that muscle i didn't want to let him down i didn't want to let people down and i want to be ahead i don't want to be the person that's fallen behind so those three things drove me um i created so here's the best part of it the reason we teach is what we do i created a compelling future we're going to create the ai education not even education just helping people save time with ai we don't even call it a education we call it here's how you save time using ai in a simple way, right?

1:04:28We're going to create the number one place in the world. We're going to embrace change. We're going to hold people through it so they don't get freaked out. We're going to help them simplify, not a hundred things, just one thing. So I started going through these things. And then all of a sudden, when I got to the end, I'm like, I could do this, right? But I had to do it. Believe me, I got off the call of them that night. We were like, yes, let's do it. We're doing it. I got off of my, oh my God, can I really do it? Right. The imposter comes back. The broke kid comes back. They still live in there.

1:04:53You just got to beat them up a little.

1:04:54Lewis Howes:Wow. Speaking of Tony, you know i just had him on the show recently and it was awesome experience like you said i think it was the fifth time i've interviewed him as well and each time i just i try to learn something new from him and try to get him off of his normal stories that i always hear from other people i'm like all right i gotta get something out of him you spend something different out of him i should say and you spend you know every day or every week you're talking to him and you've been with partners with him for almost a decade now i think um and you studied his work for 20 years i think before then but you've really built a personal relationship and a business relationship what would you say are the three most powerful things tony robbins has taught you as a human being that maybe most people don't see one is his desire to give back he gives back more than anybody knows like when he talks about the billion meal challenge and now a hundred billion meal challenge and all this it sounds unrealistic but it's what drives him every day like he'll just call me out of the blue and talk for a half hour on how he got the king of this country to put up five million dollars to provide this many meals and it's like it's a part of his dna and it's it it's become his purpose and his existence and because here's what he's a master at we all need that compelling future he doesn't have to work a day in his life his company he's he's impacted more lives than anyone in history right i mean he's the goat of goats in his industry he's the Michael Jordan of that space.

1:06:25So he's checked off all those boxes. If he just said, hey, I got plenty of money. I got the house of my dreams, the wife of my dream. Him and his wife, Sage, have the most amazing relationship anybody you've ever seen. It's not BS. It's amazing. So he's got all those. So what did he do? He had to find a new compelling future. I need to feed a billion people in 10 years. I did it. Oh, I got to fill the 100 billion people. He's flying all over the world. He's doing everything he can. So he's got this drive. So therefore he wants his businesses and everything and do good so he can give away and solve, take away pain from people.

1:06:56So he is, so that's one, is you gotta create a compelling future so big. I know we talked about it a little bit today. It's gotta be so big that it overcomes imposter syndrome. It overcomes fear. It overcomes that I'm not enough. I don't know enough. It's gotta be so strong that no matter what, you just move forward anyway. That's Tony Robbins at his core. It's so big, you're not getting in his way. That's a fact.

1:07:20Lewis Howes:Okay, that's one. um number two he always talks about the not always he gave me this advice um that as leaders we have to be both effective and efficient and that was that was it it hit me at a time where i was managing two different companies hundreds of employees and i was being really efficient because i knew how to fix different departments because i've been in this for 30 years and he's like you're going in and you're being efficient you're getting it all done but you're not building deep relationships with the leaders so therefore you're not being effective and i need to hear because i was i was moving and shaking doing it all what's that you were doing it all as opposed to empowering others to do or just showing you how to do it i know what this department i've built this department do it this way you good cool and go on to the next without like hey how you doing louis what's going on in your life right so that when he when he said that i know it sounds like oh he just said effective and efficient but i knew exactly what he's talking about it's like you're the most efficient man i ever know you need to be more effective which is build more deeper relationship it's what's meant for you exactly i mean leadership the older i get the leader what leadership is really is it's imagine being the best kindergarten teacher in the world you wouldn't teach all the kids the same the shy kid you realize has troubles at home as parents go through divorce you're going to treat him different than the outgoing extrovert who's standing up on tables and the kid with add and the one that's trying to be normal and the one that's just moved here and doesn't know anybody as a teacher you get to know all those it's like hey sally go sit with lisa you you do the same hey i like you know that that's it that's what makes a great leader yeah is when you know you're the people that underneath you you know what makes them tick what they deal with what are their constraints that's probably the biggest secret of leadership that i found it at this phase of my life having thousands of employees yeah effective and efficient what's the third thing tony's tell you you think I think the biggest byproduct for him the biggest hands down the thing that changed my life the most is we had a talk when I went through a divorce and uh I was so worried about my kids and I'm like I am not getting back another relationship I'm just gonna I'm gonna be friends with my ex I'm gonna be a super dad I'm gonna go deep on my business and he's like bs get on a plane get down here and uh so we were talking about relationships and the biggest byproduct he had me write down everything that i wanted in a relationship this is common and everything i wouldn't accept in a relationship but i know he knew what he was doing because i wrote all this down how to do it in front of him and i remember looking at it and saying wow i'm pretty full of myself that i want that in a woman and if here's the part that i got and i think he knew i was going to find this end result i've never shared this because this one changed my that's why i'm married to my wife lisa you know her dearly you know that we have true love like i got done reading that and i went damn if i'm going to attract that kind of woman who do i need to become yeah i need to do the same thing and then i looked through this list i'm like wait i'm messing up on this one and i'm not doing this one and i want this and i'm not that man and i started working on me i'm like how do i attract and i like like god saw me doing it like three months later i'm working i'm like i gotta be this i gotta do that i gotta shift this the way i do i put work first without realizing it work is everything to me my business everything my relationships were second and i meet my wife lisa right in the midst of going through that and uh you know we're eight years in now is what it's been eight years i remember you sending me photos of you guys going out like the first few months yeah and you're like setting stuff and i knew it it's so funny i just that we're on our first date i'm like i didn't think i was gonna date i'm marrying this wow i knew it on the first date so it's eight years um since you guys started dating or yeah yeah and what's the three biggest lessons your wife lisa has taught you oh that's really great question um that she's taught me she is whether about life or fatherhood or husband or yeah so i would say that her love is so deep.

1:11:27If something is off, I have a tendency as a man to keep it inside and I'll be a little off. And she'll be like, what's wrong? Nothing, I'm good. She will not let that happen. She'll let me share it. And even if I say something that she doesn't like, in 15 minutes, if we talk it through, even if I said something like, well, I don't like, you know, something that like somebody else would hold a grudge, she's over it in 15 minutes, just done. And she's like, hey, babe, you want me to get you a glass? you want to go do thing i'm like we're done with that she's like yeah we got it out that's good like she's just fantastic that number two is my parents were married and divorced nine times between the two of them i never lived to the parent like it just was always in out in out in out 20 moves family is her life like there is no i i feel blessed that like i'm gonna be married to her for the rest of my life not a question but there's not even a question in her mind like I chose you I'm with you for the rest of your life and if we have troubles we fix troubles we don't run we're not soft would you run from a business that wasn't doing good no you save a business that wasn't going good if something goes wrong in this house we fix it because we're not going anywhere her conviction is so strong and then the third thing I would say is she is so transparent and such an open book that it's given me the greatest gift ever that I am the same person there's never a time i say this all but i got this from her if she hired a private investigator to follow me around and film me for a week and she watched every bit of the footage she'd love me more wow because she is so transparent and she still looks at me with such loving eyes that i never want to ruin that so there's nothing i do even my eyes don't wander my like there's no dm that i would even look at like i've just made it so if she's watching she's like that's why i love this man because she's so transparent it made it in me what's the thing you love about her the most uh i i love i love the mother that she is i love how much she loves me i love how much she loves my older kids she's a good woman i'm i i punched above my weight class on this one that's great

1:13:38Lewis Howes:and what do you feel like is missing most in humanity right now with all of the and to give context, I feel like there's so much has shifted in the last 10 years where this focus around being connected to our phones or to online things versus connected to people obsessed about making more money but maybe not really making impact. It's like we have focuses in different places where we think it might be the right thing but there's something that seems like there's still missing for lots of people, not everyone. What do you think is the biggest thing missing for people to feel more fulfilled and happy in their lives?

1:14:22I hate to fall back on something that might sound so simple, but we've had such a good life for so long, even though we think things are tough. Would you want to be alive at any other time in history? No. Would you want to live anywhere else? We're blessed. I know you have people from all over the world, but we're pretty blessed here in America. Yeah. We're safe, right? We don't realize that we take it for granted. when you hear someone say have an immigrant mindset they come from a place of oppression they come here to america and they're like the happiest people you know so many of them become wealthy within the first generation because they see nothing but opportunity we've been here too long we take it for granted so what is the thing missing gratitude gratitude you know when when we fought the revolutionary war right and you figure how many people died to give us freedom that lasted for a while, what people fought for.

1:15:13World War I, World War II, what we fought for, for the freedoms, getting through the depression, all those things give this layer of gratitude. Then there's wave of immigrants that, you know, I'm Italian, my grandparents came here in the early 1900s, late 1800s. My grandfather told the story of coming here with nothing in his pocket, didn't speak the language, had$5 in his pocket, had nothing. And he's like, I landed in the greatest place in the world. By the time he died, he owned two restaurants, took care. And what happens when you have too many years of too much social media, too much comparison, not have to struggle for food, not have to struggle for, I mean, I know some people still do.

1:15:46I'm not being disrespectful for that. But I think if we could find a way, all of us, especially politics divide people so much, if we all just found a way to be grateful for the space we're in. Again, it sounds like duh, but it really is. Gratitude is the most powerful thing on earth.

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1:17:18Lewis Howes:At the start of this year, 88 % of Americans said they were feeling it in some way. And you feel that. It can affect your sleep, your mood, even your relationships. BetterHelp works with over 30 ,000 licensed therapists. You fill out a short questionnaire and get matched based on your needs so you can focus on moving forward instead of trying to figure out where to start. And if it's not a right fit, you can switch at any time. When life feels overwhelming, therapy can help. Sign up and get 10 % off at betterhelp.com slash greatness. That's better, H-E-L-P dot com slash greatness. But when someone's feeling broke or they or they literally don't have any money or they're struggling month month pay their bills Should they be thinking more about?

1:18:00Lewis Howes:The number of money how much money they want to make and focus on money first Or should they be thinking about the value they want to create in the world the impact the difference I think they should focus on them equally so many people focus too much on money other people focus on just impact I think the byproduct of impact is money. So how can you make an impact? The other thing we also have to remember is we all overestimate what we can do in a year or two and underestimate what we can do in five. That's a fact. And then when you don't see anything happen in three months, you're like, this isn't for me, this is stupid.

1:18:33And then the last thing I'll say on that is, if you're listening, would you live the hard way for a year so you could live easier for a decade after? So what if you just acknowledge, the next year is gonna be hard, but I'm gonna make choices that I've never made. I'm gonna be more courageous than I've ever been. I'm gonna unlock that creativity. I'm not gonna listen to my mom because I know she loves me but she's trying to protect me. I'm gonna do this. Like what if you were courageous, bold, made moves and the next year was hard.

1:19:00Lewis Howes:Yeah. But 12 months from now was a little less hard and 24 months was amazing. 36 months from now you were living into who you're meant to be. So none of us, you didn't get here. It looks like you've been here forever. But the journey, if someone watched the journey and the doubt, like the doubts and the no money and all this stuff. And then you see the end, it looks easy, right? We all got to go through the crap. And if, and, and so many of you are already going through it and you've been through enough and I'm sorry, but you just, you never know how, Aghmandino has booked the world's greatest salesman when he talks about, I will persist until I succeed.

1:19:33That's one of the 10 scrolls in the world's greatest salesman. And he talks about that you never know how many corners you have to go around until your success is on the other side. and how i translated that is you might have to go through 10 failures 10 question yourself living on your sister's couch and then the 11th thing you found enough success to go forward and then go forward some people might be 30 times some people might be three some people are blessed some people have this like but if you just keep moving eventually around one of those corners yeah

1:20:03Lewis Howes:is there another level and if you knew that it was going to take you a hundred attempts or phone calls or face-to-face meetings in order for you to generate that success, the result or financial abundance you wanted, you wouldn't get discouraged after 10. You'd be like, I'm one closer to 100. Yeah, you're one closer. That's such a good point. That's a great way to look at it. Oh, I'm developing the skills. I'm getting the feedback. I'm getting the resourcefulness. I'm getting the failures out of the way. Yeah. And the faster I do this, the faster I'll get to 100. Such a good point. Even if it's 1 ,000, whatever it is, you still have to get through there to get to that number, whatever that rep is for you, to unlock the next level.

1:20:40If someone watching or listening right now is at zero

1:20:45Lewis Howes:and they're trying to get to 100K or 1 million, let's say, and you mentioned earlier, you gotta be thinking about both, the money and the impact or the value you're gonna bring. How would you coach someone if they're watching this and say, Dean, okay, I'm struggling right now. I'm kind of at zero or maybe I've got a few thousand bucks, but I'm really trying to get to 100K. And ultimately, I'd like to get to a million. I don't know how long it's going to take, but what would that, is it think about a business where I could think about a million dollars first and how much I need to sell that thing?

1:21:16Lewis Howes:Is it think about where I can add the most value and contribute the most and make a difference? Blending the two, like how would you coach that? I know it's probably longer than a one answer, but. So, and this might, think about some of the A players you know in your life, right? And like, I feel like turning their head, like there's option A, learn AI and become an ai teacher yeah um this one here go into you know uh brick and mortar or more blue collar businesses that are gonna stick you know no matter what happens with ai and there's a behind door number three is something else picture if you know the a players like your partner matt and others in your life if you gave me any one of those three would they be successful yeah the a players yeah yeah right so i think the foundation is make yourself an a player Like if you've tried a lot of things in your life and you quit, it's okay.

1:22:12We've all been there. But maybe you give up on the, you know, if you want to use the sports analogy, you give up on the five yard line every time because you just need to push a little bit further. For me, I would, I would create an unstoppable, successful mindset by modeling people, read the right books, watch the podcast, so many great ones you've done and build your DNA. Like this is who I'm becoming. I'm going to be some, I failed in the past. I'm going to keep failing, but this time I'm not going to quit. I'm going to do this on a daily basis. I'm gonna work on this. I'm gonna focus on my compelling future.

1:22:40I'm gonna write out my compelling future every day. And then start investigating where the world is going. You can go on AI right now and say, what would be bulletproof businesses that I should start? Once I'm an A player, what would you suggest I go in? And look three or four of them and see the ones that light you up and then go down the rabbit hole and say, what if I did this and where would I start? And all of a sudden we have that ability that we didn't have access to that information before.

1:23:03Lewis Howes:That's what I would say. Yeah, so instead of thinking of like, which direction am I taking, start building the skills, the value. I mean, let me ask you, through the history of time, have we gone through depressions? Yes. Have we gone through wars? Yes. Has the world changed completely when the Industrial Revolution came? Yes. But were there still people crushing it? Yeah, of course. What do you think their common thread was? I mean, courage, confidence. Yeah, yeah. All the stuff we talked about there, right? I mean, hate this. That sounds boring. Yeah, yeah. But it's a fact. It's a fact. And I think they weren't afraid to step into uncertainty.

1:23:34Lewis Howes:Yes. That was the big thing. They saw opportunity. oh, there's this change happening. You know, there's electricity now, there's the internet, there's TV, there's radio. Like there's this thing that we don't understand, it's happening. And we could take a risk and jump into it and maybe fail, or we can be the leaders in this space. Yeah, absolutely. And move forward. And that's why you got into AI really a year ago and started teaching people this. And you think you had what, six or 700 ,000 people jump on. Yeah, 630, it was actually 630 ,000. 630 ,000 people jump into this summit you did last year.

1:24:02Lewis Howes:And you've got another one coming up here, uh april 23rd to the 25th called the ai advantage summit it's free it's virtual people can go check it out it's only three hours a day and where can they go to start learning how to master ai for their personal and professional lives and yeah where why should they take advantage of this i think listen if you're already an ai expert you're already doing vibe coding and you're chasing every tool. This is not the event for you. That's about 18 % of America, about 6 % of the world. You're already past it. Yeah. You're an expert. You're an expert. And that's awesome.

1:24:40You can come hang out with us. But this is for the average business owner, solopreneur, entrepreneur, someone that wants to be bulletproof in their career to learn how to, what we teach is how to go deeper on AI to build it so it knows you, and then how to utilize it to buy back time. The biggest thing we shared was there's never been a mechanism to give you more time and then how to leverage that time. So by the time you're done, I mean, it was one of the most fun events we've ever had. And we got great speakers. And you might come a little overwhelmed, confused. You'll leave with AI confidence, AI fluency.

1:25:13And you'll be jamming. By night two, they'll be home going, I'm not that afraid. You want free quotes? It was fun to watch it.

1:25:19Lewis Howes:Where can they go sign up right now? AISummit222.com. Okay, cool. It is free. It's gonna be fun as heck. and this is probably the only time we'll do it this year. We did it last year. We're doing it again now. And we got some amazing guests. And when I say amazing guests, you're not gonna get the high-tech AI people. After 50 interviews, Tony and I grabbed the ones that they're most practical. Like when they speak. Yeah, relatable. They speak and you go, oh, well, I could do that. Because believe me, some of the interviews I did, halfway through, I'm like, I have no idea what this guy's saying.

1:25:49Exactly. He's way smart. I am dumb. He is smart. And I would say, could you boil it down for me? And when he boiled it down, I still couldn't get it. Right? So we took the people that take complicated things and make you go, oh, I get that. So it'll be a blast.

1:26:01Lewis Howes:Yeah, it's exciting. So AISummit222.com. It's coming April 23rd through 25th. It's free. It's only three hours a day. You need to get some practical tools to help you and kind of master what you need right now. It's not going to overcomplicate things. It's more about buying back time. That's really what we focus the whole three days on. That's it. That's exciting. Anything else? What else is on your heart or mind that you want to lead people with today? You know, I just think, as Tony said when he called me a year ago, we've never experienced the rate of change that we're experiencing right now in politics, in world matters, in technology, in you don't know if you're going to wake up tomorrow when crypto's gone or the market's crushed.

1:26:48Like it's a time. Just recognize that. Realize you're human and realize that if you focus on all those, it's gonna find, if you focus on where all that could go and you stack them, it's hard for the human body, your mind, your psyche to even handle it. So when you find yourself going down that road, just have that second voice go, hey, we gotta stop here. I need to focus on what's good in my life. What could be possible? What could go right? And you just combat it. Like the two voices I said when you were on your sister's couch, not easy, but absolutely worth it. And in times like these, you can't control the outside world.

1:27:21if your happiness is related to if the market's up or ai gets easier you're screwed excuse my language you're screwed so we have to work on the inner game and i think a lot of the stuff we shared today was great and whoever else speaks to your soul work on the inner game get strong and know that you can you can see a land of opportunity or a land of the lost it's your decision that's true

1:27:41Lewis Howes:make sure you guys check out the event ai summit 222.com also your social media has been crushing lately. Congrats on that. So Dean Graciosi everywhere online. Make sure to check out. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally, as well as ad-free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well.

1:28:19Lewis Howes:Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review. I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward. And I wanna remind you, if no one has told you lately that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.

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