The SECRET to Finding Your Purpose EP 1451

28:57It's an idea, a seed, a thought that you wanna create. So it's a creation either way. Yeah, yes, and look, I'm all for biology. I think that's very powerful, but there are those moments, right, those intuitions. Like when you have a baby, there's like a woman's intuition. Like we're giving so many things in order to be able to protect the baby. And yet with business, like I have learned to start to listen to my intuition just the same. It's like, I think intuition has to be trained. I don't think it's just like, oh, you got intuition, it's fine, you're amazing, you know everything. It's like, no, no, we learn intuition as we get older.

29:31That look, that one time that one person gave me a look ended bad, your body remembers. You feel it, yeah, of course. So. What would you say is the biggest insecurity or fear you still are faced with today? Really starting anything new. I mean, that's never, you know, even writing this book. It's like, I don't know how to write a book. And even getting interviewed, right? It's like, I don't know how to be interviewed about a book so it's not so much insecurity now in the sense of it i don't feel petrified but like i know i'm not equipped and so is that an insecurity sure but it's a valid insecurity because i've never done a book before so anytime i fear that like what that fear of like oh you're about to enter a space that you don't know i just reassure myself it's like oh it's day one it's day one give yourself the grace to know anything you try is day one we do it at college right i bet you did it practice like the first time you picked up a football you weren't thinking that you were going to be the best quarterback in the world right right it's like oh i've got to learn how to freaking throw the ball so that's what i do just day one anytime i feel the fear over anything new luis anything i have these mantras i have these tactics i have these tools Everything I put in the book, it's like, okay, Lisa, you've got radical confidence.

30:47Radical confidence means even with the fear, you're gonna move forward, but you need to practice. You have to go in with a mindset that you're going to learn and have a game plan. And then when you fall on your face, get back up. Like that is my superpower. I wish I could be amazing at things, but I'm not. So I remind myself my superpower is I'm the person that gets back up. And that's encouraging. That's beautiful. And what about around money? How has your mindset shifted? Do you feel like you have created more confidence or more self-love or more belief in yourself as the money started to come for both you and Tom in your life where you really didn't have a lot beforehand.

31:29You had some, you were working or he was working, but it wasn't like the amount of wealth that you guys created with Quest and Impact Theory and everything you guys have built together. How did the accumulation of wealth change your beliefs about yourself? Oh, that's such a good question. That's such a good question, there is. Okay. You went from an apartment, I'm assuming, to a house, to a bigger house, to numbering your bank account going way up, to being able to buy things now, lots of great things. How did that shift? So, I really thought when we're successful, when we're rich, I'm going to feel like everything's going to be okay.

32:07Because you look at successful wealthy people and you're like, at least for me, it can't speak for other people, I admire them. Oh my God, look at that watch. Like look at that thing, right? Like, oh my God. That car, the house. Yeah, I'm going to feel great when I have it. So because you think that about that person, you think that's how you're going to feel when you get there. So I'm going to take you back. Quest is announced as a billion dollar company, but we all know until you actually make any sales - You don't make any money. You just get your salary and some bonuses. Yeah. Tom and I were still sharing the same Ford Focus with a hole in the exhaust when Quest was announced as a billion-dollar company.

32:43So everyone thinks you're wealthy, but we literally had Tom's salary and that was it. So we go to sell a very small portion of Quest. And so these things take months and months. Right, right. How much did you guys – what was the percentage? I think it was like 9 % at the beginning. That you guys had total? That we sold. Or you sold, gotcha. So there's three business partners, Tom and then the other. They split it three ways. Yes, exactly. So we split like 9 % or something like 11%. I can't remember how much. This was a while ago. So it's a small percent. So you're still taking massive ownership over it.

33:13But it was still a hell of a lot of money. Absolutely. So now that sort of thing takes months and months and months. So we didn't want to talk about it. We didn't tell anybody that we were trying to sell a bit because you never know what's going to happen. So one day we hear rumors that today is going to be the day. That the money comes in. Yes. Like there's a wire transfer of this much money. Our Ford Focus is still sitting in the drive. Right. And we hear these rumors from our finances that the money's about to come in. So we're working in our makeshift garage gym. And in between reps, Tom's like, all right, babe, refresh, refresh.

33:45No, nothing yet. So we're like, go and do it. Refresh, refresh. And literally one button, refresh. Boom. Boom, your life changes. Wow. And in that moment, I was like, oh, my God. And we hugged. We took a couple of selfies. And then what did we do, Lewis? we've got back up and went back to work yeah and in that moment because the festival was like hey where you going yeah because we've got to get back to work I like our mission isn't done that's like you're right and in that moment it was such a beautiful realization because we had had a myth so we were chasing money we said stop chasing money now let's chase something that's actually predicated on passion desire and value add that was question nutrition so we flipped our mindsets we stopped chasing money and in the effort of stop chasing money it led to us creating money but because of we'd already developed a mission we'd already developed our why we knew I were getting out of bed every day that didn't change just because our bank account did now look I'm not gonna pretend it was amazing right Ford we didn't tell anybody and about two days later or something we went shopping And it was like, get whatever you want.

34:54So it was like, that's amazing. I'm never going to BS anyone. It was a dream come true. It was wonderful, but it didn't change how I felt about myself. It didn't change my mission. Did you believe you were deserving and worthy of the money? I don't really think like that. I don't really know what that means because when it says deserving, there are people out there that have a harder life than I do, that work harder to provide for their family than I do. So it's hard for me to say deserve. We worked freaking hard for it. We sacrificed. So do I think that it was, you know, well-placed maybe? Sure.

35:29You know, it's hard for me to kind of answer that. It really did become a, when you get what you think you want, when you go to bed at night, how do you feel about this stuff? And it was the same. It was just in more expensive bedsheets. Right. You know, and that's - With a nicer car and - Yeah. The negative voice is still there. The person saying that you're not good, it's still there. the imposter syndrome is still there it's just in a nicer house so you still felt like an imposter oh my god of course yeah what was the imposter voice helping my husband out what year was this 2015 okay so that's seven years ago yeah so so what was the voice in your head at that time when this massive number hits the bank account what is that imposter voice saying to you?

36:16Even though at this point I had 40 employees underneath me, 10 ,000 square foot, literally went from shipping bars on my living room floor to that. And then imposter syndrome was that my husband and his business partners earned the money and I was a good help. So that's what you were saying to yourself, gotcha. Yeah. And so even that took work and internal work and the value, what value do you bring to the table just because your name is on that piece of paper as like you know a founder because those three were it's like you've brought you know to really coach myself through but you've sacrificed you've given every hour of every day literally I was working 12 13 hours a day um so to really believe in myself that I had earned that was very hard but it was important for me to do um and then the idea of in the grind when things are hard and you're asking what the hell are we doing this all for like why Tom and I would drive around Beverly Hills in our crappy car and we would like point out all the houses we would buy and we were like I like this style no no I like this style and then eventually the money comes to our account and we actually can buy the house that we're like the roads that we're touring so it's like the biggest dream come true and in that moment it was like I wanted a waterfall so I'm a 90s chick I love hip-hop and I love 90s and so I was like always joking but really serious I was like babe I want to do like our own version of a 90s hip-hop music video I want a waterfall I want Dom Perignon bottle like I want to pour it down me in the sexy outfit I want you to film me like that was the dream I have to emotionally tie to a dream they can't just be like a house it has to be like feeling of getting the house so I had this vision we finally get the house it finally has a freaking waterfall dude we get the keys we got a bottle of Dom Perignon Tom's got a photo He's taking photo of me.

38:10I'm taking a swig of the champagne. And that was the moment my health and my gut felt like, you know, obviously I've had health issues. That was the moment. Really? That same moment that we were celebrating the biggest achievement of our lives. Really? It's so cliche. Why was that the moment, do you think? So I think I'd had 15 years of gut issues. I was ignoring them, ignoring them, ignoring them. I was priding myself on the grind. I wasn't pride of myself in the self-care so for years and years I was getting sicker and sicker because I wasn't Replenishing my gut. I had a very unhealthy relationship with food.

38:45So I wasn't having fat. I wasn't eating carbs I thought I had to be skinny as possible. So all this unhealthy relationship I was getting sick because working a lot. I wasn't replenishing and so I was getting a lot of antibiotics And so for like years and years and years I was taking three to four or five times a year antibiotics and I really think it got to the point where I'd pushed myself into the ground and the bubbly and the alcohol I think it was just that moment Wow and I think and it literally from them it felt like it erupted I didn't tell Tom because of course I'm trying to be strong sure I'm like hey they'll be back in a second I run to the bathroom and I literally cannot get I'm like what the hell is happening to me my goddess in like so such disarray but my husband's are excited for it so of course of course what do I tell myself just push through it right don't tell him push through it's a celebration and I was like all right if I just get straight into this the swimming pool then I'll be able to hide my pain oh man so I get out I'm like trying to pretend I'm like rushing into the swimming pool and just the water pressure was too unbearable and that's when I'm like babe I don't know what's wrong from that was six years ago six years ago i'm still on my journey of healing my gut just to give perspective to everybody for a whole year i couldn't eat more than like four or five ingredients it was like beef salt coconut oil and chicken i was 20 pounds lighter than i am now my hair was falling out my nails were brittle and you want to talk about my relationship with my husband i started feeling like I wasn't sexy I could barely hug him let alone any intimacy you got to understand what that does to a woman's emotions how I felt about myself Tom was so supportive but I felt like I wasn't bringing you know um beauty to our relationship that was me that wasn't him sex was out the window and it was like I couldn't even stand up at five minutes at a time and on the outside we had like just literally we're celebrating quest being a billion dollar company and one of the most um fastest growing nutrition companies in the world and here i am i can't even eat i pretended i didn't tell anybody for months i didn't tell anyone so sorry i know that was a long story but really going back to your point of i remember the day that my success changed and that was the most beautiful lesson that I like if I can look back right like we think it was Tony Robbins that I use all the time how can I make the most horrific thing be the best thing that's ever happened to me in that moment giving a meaning yeah yeah and in that moment I was tested and it was like you can't I mean like I said I'm still shocked six years later and but how can that moment be the best thing that's ever happened to me number one I took ownership i did it to my gut i was the one that had a bad relationship with food i was the one that was taking the antibiotics and for so long i was like it's the doctor's thoughts it's the expert's thoughts it's that person's thoughts taking ownership over my health changed everything not just for my health but in the way that i see business in the way that i see my relationship now every time something goes wrong the very first thing i ask myself is how can i take ownership over this how was this my own doing so that changed my whole health that changed my business every time now something goes wrong in the business whether it's an employee that has royally screwed up i literally before i say anything it's like what's my ownership in this yeah i know that feeling and so that just changed everything and then it also changed my idea of success it really did and so when i got thank god like i don't know how i would think about success if that hadn't happened to me.

42:32I don't know how I would think about money if that didn't happen to me. How do you think about it now? I don't give a shit. Like, I love it, of course. It allows me to create content, right? It allows me to impact people. It allows me to do all the things that I do every day. If ever I was coming to conflict with my relationship, I wouldn't think twice about it. If ever it was coming to conflict of me feeling good about myself, I wouldn't think about it. Like, that's what I mean by it doesn't dictate who I am and how I show up every day. It's an amazing facilitator. Amazing. And I'm such an advocate for wealth creation.

43:03I never, I think it's BS. Like, no, no, it can do beautiful things. It really can. So I'm not going to BS anyone. But money in and of itself is like a superpower. You can use it for good or you can use it for evil. It's your choice. And so for me, it's like, it can be, it's so beautiful because I'm able to create beautiful things out of it. But it doesn't have a reflection of how I feel about myself, who I am and how I show up every day. and I don't know if it would have. It may have done that if my gut didn't fall apart. Interesting. What has been the biggest struggle then for you mentally and emotionally in the last couple of years?

43:43The biggest struggle is trying to ascend to the mountaintop. And the reason I say that, bro, is... To get to the mountaintop? Yes. Trying to climb. What is the mountaintop? I think the mountaintop is different for everyone. Is that a goal? For me, the mountaintop is checking boxes. Okay. Right? Like, it's checking boxes. Give me an example. An example. Okay, great. Now I host my own show on sports. Speak for yourself. Check. Oh, okay, great. Now I've partnered with Oprah on a book. Oh, another book. Oh, a third book. Yeah. Check. Okay, but the book has to best sell. Check. It's just like, it's just trying to ascend, trying to do and not being dejected when you don't.

44:31And then bro, I also think trying to figure out our place on this earth. I think we're all trying to do that. When we remove the masks and the makeup, figuratively speaking of our life, we're all trying to figure out what value am I providing to the people I'm interacting with? What value am I providing to society? Where is my place in life? And I've been constantly, my biggest struggle the last couple years is trying to really figure that out. And now that it appears I figured that out, trying to sustain the heat, excuse me, and the hate that comes with that. The heat and the hate. I don't think people understand that once you have audience and attention, there will be heat and hate.

45:18No matter how pure your intentions are, no matter how kind you try to be, there'll be hate. You know what I've realized, man, and my co-host Marcellus Wiley says this, criticism is the cost of praise. It is. We don't realize that enough. Like recently, for those watching sports news, Naomi Osaka, number one tennis player in the world just a couple years ago, she tried to stop a tennis match because somebody said you suck. Somebody yelled you suck and she went to the judge and went to the up and was like, can we stop the match? Can we get them kicked out? Was this recently? Recently. I didn't see this.

45:52Two days ago. Wow. She tried to stop the match and say, kick that person out. Correct. And at the end of the post-game presser, tears came into her eyes for different reasons. And I was just like, criticism is the cost of praise. If you don't want criticism, don't play the game. It's like you don't have a choice. Don't play. Don't show up. You can't play if you don't want criticism. It's not even like you were advising Donuts. It's like, yo, criticism comes with it. Here's the funny thing, not to cut you off, is that you're going to be criticized at the top or criticized for doing nothing. So you might as well do something you enjoy.

46:27Because if you're sitting on the couch and you have all this potential but you don't do something, the people closest to you are going to say, what are you doing? This person has so much potential. Give me their potential. I could do something great with this, but they're just sitting on their couch depressed, worried about people's thoughts or opinions. There's a price either way. You've got to pay it either way. You've got to pay it either way. Maybe it's greater price as you're climbing and dealing with the more attention, but there's a price either way. You know what else, man? And I've realized this, too, and it's hit me in the face.

46:57You can't call for attention and hang up. Yeah. So look at me. Oh, but always say nice things about me. You can't. You can't. And whether we intentionally call for attention or we don't, you can't call for attention and hang up. Like the boy who cried wolf, like us in our friend groups, like a child in a house cries and cries. Mother asks, what's wrong? Father asks, what's wrong? Nothing. And what are you crying for? You can't call for attention and hang up. And so I think there's just a lot of learning and discovering that I'm doing on this journey. Yeah. The emotional regulation is funny. I was just interviewing a neuroscientist slash brain surgeon.

47:40He's an expert in both areas. So he studies the brain and the mind, right? The thoughts. And after this two-hour conversation, the whole thing came down to the number one skill to have is the ability to emotionally regulate your feelings and how thoughts, the brain, and the mind are connected to feelings and the ability to emotionally regulate them. Not saying that you're not going to have wide range of emotions, but the ability to regulate under pressure, under stress, so that you can get into flow, that you can get back to your mission, your vision, and not be in chaos mode. You can defend yourself rationally, essentially, in times of chaos.

48:23And he said that's kind of what it comes down to. If I could teach a skill, it would be the skill of emotional regulation. And I think the farther we try to strive to unlock our potential, the more we need to learn that because the more people are going to be coming at us it sounds like. Yeah, yeah. One, I think that's a phenomenal thought. I think it was Michael Jordan's trainer who said emotions are dangerous but control danger or controlled aggression is like the most dangerous of all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that Tim Grover? Yes, Tim Grover. It's like the most dangerous of all. Because being emotional and reacting you're going to foul out.

49:01You're going to do something stupid. Correct. Which I did many times in multiple sports. And then you learn the lesson, oh, my emotional reaction gets me on the bench or hurts my team. And you know what's interesting? We're talking sports, but this is a life conversation. Yeah, it's life. Because while you can say foul out literally, figuratively speaking, if you're at the grocery store and then you get upset and then you get emotional and then you get into it with the cashier emotionally fouling out. If you're talking to a friend and then you get into it with your friend and then you say something you shouldn't have, emotionally fouling out, relationship oriented.

49:35If you're talking to somebody and you're dating and then you get into it. So we're talking a sports conversation, but it is the controlling of your mind. But to me, bro, everything starts with the mind. Both our greatest limitations and our greatest accomplishments. To me, it's all up here. Absolutely. What has been the biggest? You talked about living a life without failure or fear or failure. Living a life without failure. What is the biggest fear for you in the last couple of years? And now that you've, let's call it broken through, right? You were already really successful. I mean, you're an NFL player and had a career in sports TV and all these things.

50:13But broken through to a different level, what is now the greatest fear? That's why I like talking to you. You know what I'm saying, man? I like talking to you. Um, my biggest fear is becoming complacent. My biggest fear is not realizing I'm living inside of a box that is around me. My biggest fear is not realizing, Hey, there's a door you haven't yet opened. And what you think is a world is actually just a locker that you are inside of one of my greatest, one of my favorite scenes of any movie. It's the end of men in black. I believe up a locker and they open up the locker and they realize there's an entire another world out there they thought they were living in their world but there's such a bigger world out there and my greatest fear is not pushing beyond a boundary because I don't even realize the boundary is set because I didn't set it because somebody else said it and I've been living inside of somebody else's box or somebody else's boundary the reason we don't achieve our highest highs bro isn't because we're not skilled it isn't because we're not talented it isn't even necessarily because we don't want it it's because we don't realize realize how high we could achieve right i think that's the biggest limiting reactant realizing our highs one of my favorite stories if not my favorite story story of roger banister four minute mile four minute mile for those that aren't familiar roger banister scientists believed it was physically impossible impossible to run a mile in in under four minutes.

51:52Quick history lesson for everybody. It's my favorite story. Scientists believe it's physically impossible to run a mile in under four minutes. May 5th, 1952, it had never been done in 2000 years, but by May 6th, Roger Bannister, Oxford, England, runs a mile, three minutes, 59 seconds. Within two years, 10 people ran a mile in under four minutes. Now, the world record for the mile, three minutes, 43 seconds, and roughly 1 ,800 people have done so. Why? Because one man, Roger Bannister, removed the barriers that other people set around him. One man said, you know what? I'm not going to subscribe to that barrier.

52:31One man said, I'm not going to subscribe to goals. One man said, I'm not going to subscribe to that. And he broke the dam open for everybody. And after that dam was broken for everybody, the whole rest of the running world proceeded to run through it. So my biggest fear, bro, is living inside of a box that somebody else set before me. So if you don't have goals to break or reach, what are you reaching for? Like what's beyond a barrier that you're not trying to accomplish? For me, I'm reaching for movement. Okay. That's all it is. I'm reaching for progress. I'm moving forward. I'm moving forward.

53:11So it's not reaching an end goal. No, it's moving. Yes. It's moving forward, man. Like you, you're going to do another episode tomorrow and hopefully it's better than today and then the next tomorrow and hopefully it's better than that day. And then you're just going to keep moving. Like, let's not get so bogged down by, but I didn't get this. Oh, but I got that. Just keep moving forward. When you go to a beach and you end up standing in the ocean, eventually after about five minutes, you'll look back and be like, yo, I done drifted way far away. and you just drifted further than you ever thought.

53:47That's where I'm at now. Let's keep moving forward. We get so caught up in, I want to be married by 26 and I want to have two kids and I want to have bought my first home by 29 and by 35, I want to be done having kids and I want to have four kids, two boys, two girls, preferably twins, because that would be easiest. Bump all that. Forget all that goal setting. goals lead to failure. I want to live the most impactful and significant life I can possibly live. And if I happen to live that life with somebody else, great. And if I don't, great. And at 35, I want to see where I am. And at 30, I want to see where I am.

54:27And I want to just continue to move forward and make progress as a human being. But at the end of the day, bro, the reason we have these goals isn't even because of us. It's because of other people. this blew my mind this blew my mind and you're a sports guy so this may as well this might blow yours as well this truly blew my mind we often debate LeBron James Michael Jordan greatest basketball player of all time who do you say sir? I mean I'm from Ohio so I go for LeBron go for LeBron I just saw LeBron last night two plays so so right I mean he's still playing at what he's at the highest level he's 37 years old he just had 10 ,000 rebounds 10 ,000 points 10 ,000 assists beast Let me blow this Michael Jordan, LeBron James debate open for a second.

55:12For those that claim Jordan's the greatest basketball play ever, they claim it primarily for this reason. He went to six NBA championships and he won six. But outside of those six NBA championships, Jordan never went back to an NBA finals. He won six times and he won all six times. LeBron, on the other hand, has gone ten times and he's only won four. He's more like Tom Brady. you know gone 10 1 4 jordan went 6 1 6 times okay great now let's talk about the same exact sport basketball let's talk about the same exact result first place and or second place jordan and lebron but now let's talk about a different measuring system a different metric system the olympic games and the olympic games michael jordan would have six golds no silvers lebron would have four golds and six silvers on an Olympic scale four golds and six silvers is abundantly and clearly greater than six goals than six goals but in the NBA scale six golds is better right so the question simply comes down to whose metric system are you using right and the problem is we let other people's metric systems dictate the happiness in our life because in the NBA you finish in second and you leave the court crying and weeping, devastated.

56:28The Olympic Games, you finish in second. To a degree, you're elated, depending on what country. Right. Why? Because somebody else dictated how we should feel about a certain situation based upon their metric system, not even our own. Absolutely. And I'm just done subscribing to other people's metric systems. I go to the Olympics. That's an accomplishment. I go to the Olympics and get a bronze. I'm like, I medaled, you know what I'm saying? I'm one of the three best in the world in what I do. Exactly. But in the NBA, you get third. In the NFL, you finish in third. In the MLB, you finish in third or fourth.

56:59You're like, you're petrified. You're just frown. And I've realized, bro, we just subscribe to other people's metric systems. And we let it dictate our happiness. Now tell me, okay, I love this approach. I love the philosophy and the mindset. But for someone watching or listening who's like, okay, but I really want to accomplish some goals to feel like I'm accomplishing something because I want it to build my, because it's always built my confidence when I do accomplish. but I hear you say, but if you don't accomplish this, they're gonna hurt your self esteem. So how do we, if someone's like, I wanna write a book this year, do I set a goal to write a book or is it a journey of writing the book?

57:36Do I create micro goals on a weekly basis and have accountability? You know, there's gonna be deadlines or you know, how do we think about the process of like completing a project, launching something we wanna launch, doing our artwork, creating our music, whatever it might be, how do we then set these things and make them happen? Right. So I got my master's in sports psychology and I dedicated my final thesis paper, if you will, for my master's degree to this concept. I elaborate and expound on this concept in a logical, but I will give you a snippet. Because I studied goals so long, I understand there is a use for goals.

58:14When you are talking about the micro in order to accomplish something, there is a use for goals in a relay race to stick in Olympic sport of track and field. It does not matter how fast we run if we do not get the baton around. So the micro goal needs to be to get the baton around. When I say don't set goals, have an objective with no limitations, I'm talking about a larger principle of life. Yes. When you're talking about macro things such as, hey, I just want to write a book. right in the macro of writing a book sure so I want to finish a chapter on Monday and I want to finish my I want to write a chapter every week every Monday if you have a employer who's like hey we need this done by this date well within that stance there is a means to set a goal you talked about talking to the neuroscientist you mentioned this pivotal word flow in order to achieve flow flow is simply when you no longer are conscious of time in the midst of a task.

59:10In order to achieve flow, you need automatic feedback, autonomous feedback. In order to get that feedback, you need to set goals. So there are principles, objectives in life within micro constructs where goals have value. I'm talking about the macro look of life, where goals will do more damage than they will success. Or at least goals will just be a limiting reactive. it gotcha because i always think what if roger banister wasn't just trying to break the four minute mile how much faster could he have gone you never know he went he went 359.8 he broke it barely literally two tenths of a second was the difference how much faster could he have gone maybe no faster right but maybe if my goal lewis was to write a book i would have wrote a book i wouldn't wrote the second one and i might not have written the third one so that's where i'm thinking like bigger picture.

1:00:04I just want to see people be the best version of themselves. So how do we, I mean, people are going to fail, but you're saying to reframe failure or to not even look at failure as an option, because if you don't set the goal, you can't fail in that sense. Bingo. I thought about this the other time. I don't, I don't think people fail. What I say is this. And I thought about this. I didn't fail, I fell. And as long as I get up, I win. Ooh, yeah. Like a child. A child falls hundreds and thousands of times, and they never think to themselves, maybe this walking thing isn't for me. Dude. They fall and they get up.

1:00:44We didn't fail. We fell. As long as you get up, you win. The winning isn't getting up. So many people think they failed. They didn't fail. They stopped. You stopped. You didn't fail. You just failed, fell. And you just never got up. That's it. A relationship didn't work. You didn't fail at that relationship. End of the four. You didn't fail in that relationship. Job, you got fired. You didn't fail. You fell. Get up. You'll look back. You win as long as you get up. So when people keep talking about failure, I don't subscribe to that, but I don't subscribe to goals because ultimately to fail is to put a period where a comma belongs.

1:01:23I ain't doing that no more, big dog. or dot, dot, dot. Exactly. To be continued. Mind putting periods where commas belong anymore. And then we do that too often in our life. It's like, ah, this relationship ended, period. No, this relationship ended. I found somebody who was more suitable for me, who I am more suitable for, and I now ended up significantly happier than I was previously. That's a good way to look at it. You know, looking at, I mean, I feel like it took me a long time to learn how to walk in relationships. I was just falling and wobbling all over the place. You know, I just needed some coordination sooner.

1:01:54but it took me a while to be able to look back and learn the lesson and I feel like I'm in a much more stable place you know you know I have coordination with my body now in relationships in terms of walking and some people learn faster in certain areas of life but it's it's not about giving up on love giving up on your career your your books or your your message or your art yeah it's about learning a friend of mine posted this video his name is Devin Rodriguez he got big on TikTok. I think he's got like 30 million followers in the last two years. He started drawing people on subways in New York City.

1:02:30And he would just see them, he would draw them and hand them a sketch and people would be blown away. He did a video recently where he started learning in 2010 how to draw. And he posted a photo from 2010 to 2020 every year, his work. And it was ugly the first five years, I mean, it was, you'd throw it away. It was so bad, right? It was like a five-year-old sketch. It was like something I would do right now. It's about how I draw. But now it looks like you take a photo of someone and he can draw it perfectly. But it took him 10 years to master the skill. He didn't fail the first five years, seven years.

1:03:07He fell forward by kept improving. I think it's a beautiful lesson you're talking about. Don't think of it as failure. Think of it is falling, bro. And so many people in our life, even our loved ones, want to tell us that we failed. And we begin to believe them. And that's the problem. We've all committed to believing the lie that we have failed in life. We failed in our school, we failed in our relationships, we failed in our jobs. We haven't actually failed. But if you believe and listen to a lie long enough, you will be convinced that it's the truth. Yeah. And what I now practice is detangling so many of the lies that we've been told over time, deconstructing so many of the thoughts that we've believed over time, because it's those thoughts and it's those lies that bog us down.

1:04:02Yeah. And bro, this also blew my mind. The Mona Lisa. I went to Paris last summer. I went to Paris, went to the Louvre. And bro, you been to Louvre? I think I went to the outside. I didn't go inside. Yeah, yeah. So I'm in the loop and there's art everywhere. There's art on the ceiling. There's freaking art on the walls, art on the left side. There's art everywhere. As I'm walking through this, you know, hundreds of acres seemingly, I see a huge long line. For the Mona Lisa. I don't know yet. I don't know. So I'm like, what in the heck is this line for? There's art everywhere, y 'all. Why y 'all stand in the line and see a piece of art?

1:04:39Just look left. I turn a corner, huge line for the Mona Lisa. I was like, I ain't waiting in the line, so I'm gonna just walk by and see. I look at it. It's nice, it's nice. It's a painting. It's a painting. Painted somewhere from 1503 to 1518, I believe historians suggest. You realize if the Mona Lisa were painted today, might go to garage sale for$20. Yeah, maybe. Maybe, but why? Because the Mona Lisa back then depicted a pale woman with thin lips and a large forehead. And that was the depiction of beauty back then. depiction of beauty in 2022 sun kissed uh skin you know thin waist nice build but why bro do we subscribe to a definition of beauty that somebody else set because you can never catch it the definition of beauty in the 1500s vastly different than the definition of beauty now what was beautiful then we don't value now what we value now we don't value then but either way we didn't even said it back to why do we let such insignificant people have significance in our lives?

1:05:42And man, I'm just like, what all are we believing that we just don't need to? I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally, as well as ad-free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review.

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