You're Not Bad With Money, You Inherited Bad Beliefs | Lewis Howes

28:01That's how it felt. It was like this new level of adrenaline and excitement that I never even imagined because I was like, I never want to be poor and broke and living on my sister's couch ever again. That feeling doesn't feel good. So I was earning based out of a scarcity and I never learned how to rewire that feeling in the first few years. It took years of pain and frustration and burning myself out because I was so afraid to go back. And that's not a healthy way of earning. So step three is I want you to raise one number by 20 % this week. So what does that look like? One price, one rate, one ask.

28:46And when you say it, stop talking. So this is something like you're a coach and you're trying to sell something. I want you to raise the number of your service by 20 % this week. And when you say the number, don't explain it. Don't justify it. Don't fill the silence. The silence after your number is where the old belief lives. Sit in on it one time and something permanent changes. This is very uncomfortable. I remember when I was starting out in this industry, in this business, and someone, I offered to do a consulting session for someone. At the time, it was around social media back in 2009. And I offered to do a session for someone I knew for free.

29:34I said, let me come in and show you how to use social media to help you in your goals for your business at that time. And I just wanted to do it for free to show him what I was capable of doing and trying to show him some results quickly at the end of this session maybe it was two hours he went into the other room and he came back and he wrote me a check and handed it to me and it was for a hundred and at the time i was like wow i go i was just happy to do this for free because i wanted to help this person and i thought maybe i could help him improve with his business and he was like this is going to help me so much you have no clue here's a hundred dollars and i remember being so blown away that someone would pay me$100 to do some consulting and coaching for a couple hours.

30:19It was like mind-blowing. $100 that I can teach you something, help you with something, give you value, and you'll exchange, give me$100 in two hours. It blew me away. Now, I started saying, okay, well, what if I try to do this every week with someone? And so I started marketing my services back in 2009 for$100 for a session to help people with their social media at that time. And it started working. And I got a bunch of people to do this for me. And I was like, oh, wow, they're all getting results. And I remember thinking, okay, let me try$150. Let me try$200,$250. I remember that$300. And I remember thinking, oh, my gosh, this is powerful.

31:02If I'm able to show results for someone, if I'm able to build credibility within what I'm capable of doing for others, give them results. they refer me to other people. If I feel like it's valuable enough that, you know, they gave me a hundred dollars and I helped them make$10 ,000, then surely$200 is still a good service, exchange for service. $300. Okay. They're still making a lot more money than the exchange for this. And it's saving them time, energy, and taking them out of a frustration. Long story short, for the next five years, I kept doing this. I did this exercise and I would increase my rates whenever I felt like I had delivered the value for that time.

31:48And I got them value based on the money they were spending me or based on what it's charging. I just kept saying, okay, how can I be more uncomfortable with my ask? And it went from a hundred dollars in a session to$10 ,000 in an hour for coaching at one point. And I remember I stopped doing it after 10 ,000 an hour. I was like, okay this is interesting i wonder how much i could charge for someone this was probably 10 years ago when i charged ten thousand dollars of an hour for a coaching call and i remember doing this one coaching call for an hour it wasn't even over zoom or anything it was just a an audio call and the person said this is some of the best money i've ever spent thank you what you taught me here is going to help me make a lot more money and so if i can charge ten thousand and someone can make a hundred thousand or they can make five hundred thousand from taking a few simple changes in their business, for me, that was worth it.

32:41But you've got to practice this. And the first time I did it, I was not sure if someone's got to pay me more than a hundred dollars. So the more you practice this, the better it will be. The first time you charge for something that felt too high to say out loud, you know, does it feel uncomfortable? You need to have the courage to back the results you can get. And it doesn't mean everyone's going to actually say yes to you. Some people might say no. And in fact, a lot of people try to book me for speaking today and I give them my number and they say it's too much. And I just say, that's okay. I don't need to speak at your conference or at your event.

33:19So you need to know what your number is for you. And maybe I would take less if I wasn't earning the money that I had now based on what the market it was willing to offer me. But you have to be thinking about that for yourself because people like me don't make more than this as a belief is holding you back. And that's something that was holding me back for years until I learned to have the courage to develop certain skills, overcome the insecurities and the fear of rejection and embarrassment by going all in in developing credibility for myself. Money belief number two, if it didn't hurt, I didn't earn it.

34:02So why do so many people work themselves into the ground and still never build anything that lasts? You know, I have a few friends that, you know, their parents worked very hard for 30, 35, 40 years in a career, in an industry, hoping that they would have some type of retirement at the end of the day. And sometimes that doesn't always work out. And it always makes me sad to hear. And it's because they either spent too much constantly, they didn't know what to do with their money, whatever it might be. And sometimes people just overwork themselves. They burn themselves out. Because you weren't taught that money is a payment for pain, not payment for value.

34:46And that's what you were taught, is that money is a payment for pain, not payment for value. Payment for pain is challenging. And this is what a lot of us heard growing up. Look at the language of what every one of us heard growing up. If you're watching this, you probably heard people say, you know, if you want to earn money, it takes blood, sweat, and tears. It's hard-earned money. nothing worth having comes easy. None of those phrases are about value that you heard growing up. Now, I'm not saying, listen, I work extremely hard, but I also make sure that I have some type of harmony in my life where I'm not burning myself out constantly because that's not a rich life in my mind.

35:31And that's a belief system that just makes me get sick and hurts the people around me. So there are phases and seasons and times where I put in extremely hard work, but I also know when to pull back and to recalibrate. And it's thinking about how can I add more value, not how can I work harder? There's a difference there. Every single one of us, or every single one of these is about suffering, these kind of beliefs that we heard growing up. You know, money doesn't grow on trees. You've got to work extremely hard to earn more money. So your subconscious starts to run the math when you hear these things, that more money must require more suffering.

36:16Or you might have heard people who make a lot of money are greedy, evil, and bad. And you're a good person. So why would you want to earn more money if you're going to be associated with everyone else in your life that you are greedy, evil, and bad. You don't want that. Your belief system, your nervous system does not want people around you, your friends, your family, the people that make you feel safe to say, oh, now you are unsafe because you're earning more money. You must have done something bad to get it. And since you're already maxed out, more money must not be available to you If you're already burning yourself and working yourself extremely hard, you're thinking, I can't work any harder, so I can't earn any more.

37:03And that's the trap. And you notice what it does to you. It doesn't make you lazy. It just makes you more busy, more busy, more busy, more busy. It makes you pick the harder path on purpose because the easy path feels like you're getting away with something, like you tricked people, like it wasn't supposed to be this easy. And here's the tell for you. You know this belief is running in your mind when you feel guilty taking a Saturday off or a Sunday off. You build a complicated version when the simple one would also sell if you're a business owner. And you feel like, oh, I have to do all these extra steps and make it so challenging to show proof that I worked really hard.

37:44It's almost like in school, they teach you to like show the proof constantly of how you got to the result. Instead of just, here's the answer. I never liked that where it's like you had to show it's almost you had to work harder to show the evidence and the proof of how you got the answer to the teachers than just saying here's the result. I just learned it. I memorized it. I understood it. I read it. Whatever it might be. I heard you say it in class. Here's the result. And we've been conditioned through all these different areas in our lives to prove the results. instead of just, no, I got you the result.

38:22Here's how I did it. And so you take the client that you knew on the first call would be a nightmare because they ask every question. They try to ask for every discount. They try to make your life so hard. And instead of just saying, yes, I'm willing to pay for the price and here's what I expect in return. Awesome. You describe your week by how tired you are. When Monday starts and you say, I'm exhausted from last week, not by what you actually move forward in your life or what you're excited about. These are all tells. And when something goes well without a lot of struggle, you just don't quite trust it.

39:01You're like, huh, what's the catch? Why was this so easy? And this is something I lived for for years when I started out. I was the guy who was up till 2 or 3 a.m. every single night, seven days a week. And it was just like, I have to work harder. I have to work harder. have to show people that I'm getting a little sleep for some reason to like prove that I'm doing something. It was like prove that I'm working harder for getting these results. And I felt like I was, had to prove this in every room that I walked into. It's like I had to explain it. And this is one of the reasons why I was still stuck.

39:40Sure. I was earning more, but I was getting more and more physically tired. I was exhausted and I was getting irritable. Like emotionally, I was getting more irritable because discipline pointed in the wrong direction. And when it's pointed in the wrong direction, it just gets you to the wrong places faster. That's what happens when you are doing the wrong things. So that first four or five years, that first season of my business experience, I was just exhausted trying to, and really, I think I was trying to prove to like mentors and thought leaders in the industry that I was deserving or worthy of kind of being in this world and being accepted in this kind of space, I guess.

40:29And instead of just showing like, Hey, I can get results and I don't have to burn myself on every end. And I think when I was starting out, it just felt like everyone was doing that. So maybe I was surrounding myself with other people that also had these limiting beliefs and they're like, I have to prove this. So the rewire is something I want you to do this week. This is the action. Money doesn't follow effort. Money follows value. And when you can imprint that in your nervous system and in your mind, that money doesn't follow effort, money follows value, you can start to apply this in different ways.

41:07And listen, I think it doesn't mean you're not gonna have moments where you're not working hard and you're not giving effort. That is still true. You're still going to need to work hard at different times and give effort, but it follows value. And sometimes that can be effortless. And most people have never once checked which one that they're selling. So here's the assignment. For a few minutes, it's going to sting a little bit, but I want you to think about this. This is step one of this assignment. I want you to find your real hourly number. Take what you earned last month, divide it by the hours you actually worked in the month, not the contract hours, but the real ones.

41:57And, you know, if you were working late at night or if you were working all weekends or if you were doing calls on Sunday to catch up or calls in the car, whatever it was, most people never do this math. And so the number is always a little bit lower than people expected. So think about the amount you made last month and the hours you put in. And step two is to split last week into two columns. Column one, hours somebody would have happily paid for, and column two is hours you spent because you felt like you should be working. And be honest, because no one's gonna read this. You don't have to put this in the comments below.

42:35For most people, column two is bigger, and that gap is your entire income problem sitting on one page. And step three, move one hour from column two into column one. One hour this week, that's it. That's the whole move, because once you do it, and watch it work. You'll never again really be confused being busy with being valuable. And one more thing on this is when something comes easy to you, stop discounting it. Stop saying like, oh, this was actually pretty easy for me. I just made a phone call and I got the result. I just did this thing online and boom, it worked pretty quickly. The skill you don't even count as a skill because it's just how your brain works, that's actually the most valuable thing that you own.

43:21You can't see it because it's normal to you. And you feel like, oh, everyone should be able to do this. But the thing that you do best that's so effortless, that's the thing to lean into. And I remember this for me. For me, it was like building relationships and connecting people. I just felt like it was so easy for me to ask questions early on in the business world. I would get into rooms that I didn't feel like I was supposed to be in or other people my age weren't in these rooms. I would somehow get in these rooms. And I would just be so excited to be meeting people and asking them questions about how they succeeded and the challenges they had to overcome.

44:01And I was just so curious and excited that people wanted to share with me. And it's like they would just give me all the answers on how they became successful just because I was curious and excited about them. And when I would ask them, what's your biggest challenge right now that would help you accomplish your goals that you're trying to accomplish right now, they would tell me, you know, I'm looking for someone I can hire here. I'm looking for an agency that can help me with this. And I'd be like, oh, I know the perfect person. And I would call them right then and put them on the phone with that person and say, hey, I think you guys could be good for each other.

44:37Why don't you tell them what you're struggling with? And if this is something you can offer value in, I'm gonna follow up with an email and connect you both. And that just became something that was natural to me. And I just assumed everyone was a giver and generous in that way. And everyone had a network like this. And people were just like so thankful that they would say, how can I help you in return? And the more I did that every year, I just added goodwill and added value to so many people that business came back to me. Opportunities came back to me. So think about those, that thing that comes so effortless to you.

45:17That is a skill that could be earning you so much more money if you go all in on it So end of money belief number two if it didn't hurt I didn't earn it

45:27Lewis Howes:My friend, I hope you're enjoying this episode and the school of greatness drops new conversations every monday wednesday and friday around money Mindset healing manifestation and relationships and if you're not yet following the show then you're missing all of them Please tap the follow button right now and you'll get notified the moment every new episode drops because the next one might be exactly what you need. Now, let's get back to the conversation. How many days does it take to go from total beginner to reasonably proficient at a new skill? Well, if you practice for a focused hour a day, then about 250, which also happens to be the number of reasons to choose T-Mobile.

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46:50Lewis Howes:All rights reserved. Redeem money back guarantee within 30 days of cancellation. You know those pieces in your closet you keep coming back to because they just make getting dressed easier? That's what I look for, especially when I find something that works in a lot of different situations. And one of those pieces for me right now is Quince's 100 % organic cotton mesh stitch sweater polo. It's an easy staple to work into my wardrobe. And that's exactly what Quince does well. They focus on high quality wardrobe staples made with premium materials in timeless, versatile styles. So you're getting pieces you can keep reaching for.

47:30Lewis Howes:And it's not just clothing. Quince brings the same approach to hotel quality bedding and bath. kitchen essentials, and thoughtful designed furniture. Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers and go to quince.com slash Lewis. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash Lewis. Money belief number three. Wanting even more makes me a bad person. Wanting more money makes me a bad person. Why do so many good-hearted people feel guilty the second things start going well? This is a challenge because, again, when you start doing things better than your friend group or you start earning more than your friend group or maybe one day you start earning more than your parents ever earned.

48:33It starts to be a different dynamic. It starts to be a different dynamic in your school, in your friend group, in your community, in your family. And all of a sudden, people look at you differently because somewhere along the line, you got handed a lie that money and being a good person pull in opposite directions. We've seen this in movies. We've seen this, you know, in your community. You've seen this on the news that anyone with a lot must have had it taken from somewhere else. Like they must have taken it from somewhere. They must have stolen it. They must have been fraudulent, whatever it might be.

49:15That wanting more means you're ungrateful for what you have and you should appreciate what you have and not want more. And if you believe that, even a little bit, your mind and your nervous system will never let you become the thing that you would judge. This is challenging. So if you've just felt this, if there was just an energy growing up that your parents said these things about other people that weren't them. That person probably did this to get there. That person did this bad thing and they have a lot of money. Whatever it might be. It just builds in your wiring and your mindset. your wiring and your nervous system, and you don't want to be judged as one of those people who earn more and did it the wrong way and is even associated with that world.

50:04It just doesn't feel good because more than what you want, you want to be a good person. Sure, you might want to make more money, but more than that, you want to be a good person. And your mind thinks it has to pick one. You're like, I want to be a good person, so therefore I can't be earning this much more money. So it picks broke and moral every time. Or it picks, okay, I'm comfortable with this amount of money because this is acceptable within my friend group or within my family, or this is what you're supposed to be earning, and I'm a good person. You'd rather have that. This is something I think everyone wants to feel like they're a good person, or most people.

50:45I want to feel like I'm a good person, right? But I also know I want to earn more so that I can give more. Here's the tell. It's like one hides better than the other because it looks like humility. You start hiding it because it looks like humility. You start to discount anyone when they ask you to or when they don't ask you to. You start to discount people. You apologize for your own prices. is you say the thing went fine when it was like incredible. You try to like discount how good something went. When somebody compliments you and you hand the credit to timing or I got lucky, right? It wasn't that big of a deal.

51:27Whatever it is that you like to say, I was in the right place at the right time. It's not, that's not modesty. That's you making yourself smaller so nobody else feels bad. And your bank account is listening. Your connection to your emotional, psychological, and nervous system is connected to your bank account in some ways. So here's the rewire. I want you to try this this week. Here's what I had to learn. It took me a little bit of while. Money doesn't make you anything. It magnifies already what's inside of you. So if you're a generous person with more money, it gives you more to give. a selfish person with more money, that person's going to take more or going to be less generous.

52:15The money didn't decide, the person did. Who you are decides. But knowing that doesn't kill the guilt that's inside of you. And you know what kills the guilt? It's giving the money a job before it ever arrives. So here's the assignment. I want you to pick your percentage today. Not when you start making more money or when I make this, then I'll start doing this. I want you to pick it today at whatever you currently make. 1%, 5%, 10%, whatever the percent is for you, a quarter of percent. The number matters less than the decision. Write down who or what it goes to, then automate it. So you never have to decide that again.

52:58So here's why this beats any affirmation you could say in the mirror. And I'm all about like being positive and having positive mantras and affirmations. But when you automate things, it sets things up for greater opportunities in the future. So once a percentage of every dollar is already spoken for, making more stops feeling like taking. It starts feeling like funding. It starts feeling like investing. It starts feeling like generating for someone else or yourself in the future, whatever it might be. And the part nobody warns you about is your ambition actually goes up, it doesn't go down. Because now a bigger year isn't about you.

53:41So stop asking whether it's okay to want more. Start asking what you do with that money. And when you start to see clearly that, okay, when I make a certain amount of money every month, I'm gonna put a certain amount away for these different things. I don't care if it's for a charity, for a side project, for your future investments, whatever it is, start doing that now. That way, when you earn more, it's automatically going into the future of what you want to create instead of, well, I don't know what I want to create with this money, so I'm just going to hoard it in my bank account and stash it, and one day I'll figure this out.

54:26Who could you take care of with a little bit more money? or putting a little bit of money away every single month? What would you fund that you care about? What is a cause that inspires you? What is a pain that you experienced as a kid, as a teenager, as a young adult that you wish no one ever has to feel this pain ever again? What is the thing you've had to overcome that you want to eliminate? There's gotta be a cause. There's gotta be something that you could be of service to with just a little bit every month, a small percentage. And when you earn more, just think of the impact that percentage could do every single month in the future.

55:08What problem could you solve instead of just feeling bad about, instead of just complaining about, instead of just talking about or criticizing about online, instead of judging the government for what they're not doing or what they're doing right and wrong, or judging people who have money of what they should be doing with their money, or judging your friends or family for wasting their money, whatever it is, what can you take ownership and responsibility of that you're not doing yet that will then empower you to make a difference in that pain for someone else? You're not chasing money at that point.

55:43You're building capacity. And there's nothing to apologize in that. This is a key. When I started earning more money early on, I remember thinking to myself, okay, I've made a good amount of money. I wasn't like, you know, millions in the bank or something, but I had made a good amount of money where I was like, all right, I'm not on my sister's couch. I can pay for an apartment. I'm going to be, if I make no more money for the next two years, I'll be okay. And I can survive. And I remember thinking to myself, okay, but now what? Now that I'm out of survival mode, what do I want to do with my life, with my time, with my money?

56:24And I went through this process. This was probably 15, 16 years ago. And I was really like, you know, I suffered in school. Every day was miserable. I don't think I remember having one good day, unless it was like we were on a field trip all day and it wasn't in a classroom. That was maybe the only time I enjoyed school or that one hour a day where we were in gym class. That was like, you know, I just remember being in the back of every class, watching the clock tick every single second for hours every day, waiting for 2.30 or 3 o 'clock or 3.30 or whatever the school day ended and just dreading it.

57:07Every single day was dread until the clock was like the final bell where I could get out there and play some sports. But as an adult, I remember thinking, oh my gosh, the way that I got off my sister's couch was through education, was through wisdom, was through knowledge from mentors that I had access to, essentially teachers of life. And these teachers gave me the information and the challenges to go take action, to develop the skills, to develop the value, to therefore go earn money. And without those individuals, without that school of greatness that I was getting before I launched the School of Greatness, I wouldn't be where I was at.

57:52And I said, most people, most kids in the world don't even have access to schools. I at least had access. And so early on, I said, let me find charity or charities that help kids around the world who don't have school, that don't have the ability to even dream because they don't have a place to go to learn. And that's why for the last 14, maybe 15 years, we've been investing in Pencils of Promise. Myself personally, my company, we invest every year in helping build schools, fund education for kids all over the world. And it's something that excites me to know that some of the money, a percentage of the money is going towards other people who we can really make a difference in their lives.

58:36So the end of money belief number three is wanting more makes me a bad person. I want you to eliminate that, but you eliminate it by making sure you're doing things to help others and serve people with your money as well. Money belief number four, I need people to see that I'm doing okay. I need people to see that I'm doing okay. Spending to prove instead of spending to build. Why do so many people who look rich have almost nothing behind it because the spending was never financial. It was emotional. Most people aren't buying things. They're buying a feeling. You know, we've all been, we've all done this before.

59:22You know, I've bought things in the past because I'm like, wow, this is going to feel amazing. And it does feel amazing for a period of time. And maybe those new clothes or those new shoes or whatever, buying a watch or a car makes you feel like, yeah, I earned this. Look at me. I feel good. There's an upgrade. All these different things. I don't think there's anything wrong with buying something nice for yourself for a feeling. But most people aren't buying things. They're buying a feeling. The feeling of finally being somebody, the feeling of being taken seriously, the feeling of not being the kid who had less than everyone else.

59:58I know that's how I felt. And when the belief running your mind is, I need to prove I'm enough, then every dollar gets put into that fight before it ever has a chance to become anything. You're thinking, when I make this money, I'm going to go buy this thing. And it's just tied to that belief system. And I've watched the difference up close for years. People who look wealthy buy things that lose value. They're trying to look rich. People who are wealthy buy things that make value. One group buys the car. The other group buys the thing that pays for the car. And the second group is almost always quieter about it.

1:00:45So here's the tell. You'll feel this one in the timing. The urge to buy gets strongest right after something makes you feel small. A meeting that didn't go your way, you didn't get the job opportunity, you got rejected by a potential client, an old classmate posting the vacation that they just went on and the trip of the lifetime to Europe, a comment that you can't stop thinking about, a negative review. and then the purchase arrives and the feeling lasts for a few days, right? It's like, okay, this feels good. I feel better about me because I got this thing because I didn't get this thing, this feeling in another way.

1:01:24The wild part is the people you're trying to impress aren't really thinking about you that much. Maybe there's a few critics here and there. Maybe there's a few people talking behind your back for a moment, but they're busy, most likely trying to impress someone else or trying to look good in front of you or look good in front of others. and it's a whole economy built around a wound, an old wound that holds people back. So the rewire, the thing that I want you to do this week is I'm not going to tell you to never enjoy your money. I really think that money should be something that you use to enrich your life.

1:02:01If you want to buy anything nice, buy it. That's your right. It's your money. I enjoy mine and that's part of the point of building it because what's the point of working hard, working and adding value to others to generate an income, saving it all in the bank and never using it to experience life. This is not what this is about. I have nice things. I have, you know, nice trips. Um, but for 15 years, I lived in a two bedroom apartment and I was fine with that as well. I didn't need a house. I didn't need a car. For many years, I didn't have a car and I walked everywhere. So I've lived in both scenarios.

1:02:41But you have to know which one you're doing right now. So put two things between you and the next big purchase. One is the 72-hour rule. So if you were like, I really want to buy this purse or these shoes or these glasses or whatever this thing is, this watch, this jewelry, this car. Give yourself a 72-hour rule. Anything significant waits three days. No exceptions. None. If you're buying food, that's different. But if you're trying to buy some big purchase, give yourself three days. And in those three days, ask one question. Am I buying this to feel something? Or am I buying this to build something?

1:03:21Again, Am I buying this to feel worthy or enough or like I made it? Or am I doing this to build something? The purchases that are really about proving something almost never survive 72 hours if you give yourself a few days. And it's not about willpower. That's the feeling wearing off before you've ever paid for it. Step two is learn to see the second price tag. Now, this is a big one. Every purchase has two prices. what it costs today, and what that money could have become. So here's a rough shortcut you can run in your head. Historically, money invested around 7 % has tended to roughly double about every 10 years.

1:04:06That's an average, it's not a promise. No year looks like the average, but it's close enough to think with as this model. So$1 ,000 today isn't just$1 ,000. over 20 years, it's closer to four. I'm not saying that to make you feel guilty about spending. I'm saying it so you see both prices before you choose on what you buy. Most people only ever see one price. I'm gonna buy this thing, here's how much it costs. And then do one last thing this month. Make a purchase that no one will ever see. An investment, of course. A skill, a share of something small, whatever it might be. make an investment on something that you're going to invest in yourself that will support you.

1:04:53Something that will never get a single compliment. What is that thing? It could be an investment in yourself. Again, a training, a course, whatever it might be. A share of something, whatever. That's how you'll know that you're finally building for yourself and not for an audience that's even watching. That's end of money belief number four, that I need people to see that I'm doing okay. And money belief number five, you don't talk about money. The silence that keeps every other belief alive. Why do people make real progress with money and then slide all the way back? Because of the one belief no one ever says out loud.

1:05:32We don't talk about money. We don't talk about Bruno. Isn't that a song? We don't talk about money. That should be a new song that most people have. but we need to break that belief. It's rude. It's private. It's bragging when I talk about money. It makes people uncomfortable, so everyone stays quiet. We don't talk about it. We never talked about money growing up. My parents didn't talk about it. My siblings don't talk about how much they make in their careers. We don't talk about money. We stay quiet. And here's what that silence actually is costing you. You have no idea what anyone actually makes.

1:06:09You have no idea what anything should cost. You have no idea how the person ahead of you got there, because you've never been allowed to ask. You've never been able to talk about it. It's been taboo. So, you learn money the same way that you learned it as a kid, by guessing, by watching, by mimicking, by absorbing. Whatever's in the room, whatever the energy is, okay, I don't want to ruffle any feathers. Secrecy is how bad money beliefs survive.

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1:08:14Lewis Howes:Shop now at Tempur-Pedic.com. If you want a cool, comfortable night's sleep, you must check out Tempur-Pedic, the most highly recommended mattress brand in America. Secrecy is how bad money beliefs survive. Nobody challenges them because nobody says them out loud. and it starts with your own numbers. Most people can't tell you what they spent last month. They have no clue how much they spent last month, how much they've saved, how much they're investing, how much debt they have. They have no clue because they're afraid to look at it. They're afraid to talk about it. They're afraid that you know about it for judging them because you're farther ahead, for judging them because you're behind, whatever it might be.

1:08:59They can't tell you what they owe or what they own, not because they're responsible, but because looking feels worse than not looking. I know this feeling. When I was living off three credit cards, I didn't want to look at how much interest I was paying every single month because I felt ashamed. I felt guilty. I felt bad. I felt less than. I felt like I'm failing every single day, every single month. I haven't paid off my credit cards, I am failing. And therefore, I just wanted to go spend money on something to feel better about me, to fulfill the hole that I was lacking. For me, I never, like, buying things was not like a thing.

1:09:44I didn't want to go buy clothes or watches. Like, I could care less about those things. For me, it was like, I want to go buy some food. I want to go buy some sugar. I want to buy some pizza, some ice cream. That's got to make me feel good because I have this hole inside of me that says I'm not enough, that says I'm behind, that says I'm lacking, that says I'm a loser. And no one wants to feel bad or wrong. We don't want to feel that way. So we will do anything we can to take that pain away. Think about who you talk to about money right now. Do you talk to anyone about money? Do you share everything?

1:10:19Do you not share everything? Do you not talk to them? Do you tell your partner, your girlfriend, your boyfriend, your spouse, how much you make, how much debt you have, the financial mistakes you've made? Are you married and do you not know how much your spouse makes? Like just think about this for now. It doesn't mean there's a right or wrong, good or bad. It just means there's a belief and these beliefs either serve you or they hold you back. For most people, the honest answer is nobody. You don't talk about money with nobody. We don't talk about money. And the conversations they do have are all kind of like compliments or surface level or whatever it might be.

1:11:01Or they compliment you on, wow, that's so expensive that you got that. You know, how the system might be rigged. It's all against you. You know, the government is rigged. Corporate America is rigged. I hate all of this. The taxes is rigged. Whatever it might be. Rich people are rigged. They're stealing everything. whatever it might be, whatever the belief is, how we're all just trying to get by, that's not a money conversation. That's a group argument to stay exactly where you are. And it's really a group agreement to stay exactly where you are, arguing about things that you just don't like in the world.

1:11:36And here's where you got to rewire things. I want you to do this this week. There's two assignments, one with yourself and one with somebody else. First, go learn your four numbers. What came in last month? What went out last month? How much did you spend? How much did you bring in? What you owe and what you own. That's it. Four numbers. What came in, what came out last month, what you own and what you owe. Maybe you don't own anything right now except for some clothes and a little bit of jewelry or something or a car. But just take inventory of everything you own and everything you owe. Do you have debt?

1:12:14Do you have loans? Do you have receipts you still haven't paid to friends, whatever it might be. Four numbers. It takes about 30 minutes to get this information and it's done. And I'll tell you what happens when you do this. The anxiety doesn't go up. It starts to go down. It's just because you have the knowledge of what you've been spending, what you've been bringing in, what you own and what you owe. Just that knowledge. Maybe you don't like seeing it right away, but at least it gives you clarity. Because vague fear is always bigger than a real number. And when you have clarity of these numbers, now you can create a game plan.

1:12:53And you cannot negotiate with a feeling. You can absolutely work with a number. It may be challenging to overcome, but at least you can start to work with it with a real game plan. And second is I want you to have a real conversation this week with someone. Find someone further along than you and ask them these three things. What would you do if you were me right now? That means you got to share where you're at. What did that actually cost you? And what's the mistake you'd undo if you could? So what would you do if you were me right now? What did something that they have actually cost you? That car, that watch, that nice thing, that home, what did that cost you?

1:13:38And what's the mistake you could undo if you could? But notice that none of those are, what's your advice, right? They're specific enough that people answer them honestly. And most people will tell you that they've just never been asked. You know, most people don't ask these things. And while you're at it, go find out what your work pays somewhere else. So the job you're at right now, if you're at a job, if you're a business owner, this is something different. but if you're at a career or work, go ask where this job may pay you somewhere else, like how much it pays for the role you're in at another company.

1:14:16Same role, the same service, but maybe a different market. People stay underpaid for years for a number of reasons, but one of them is no one ever told them the number, like here's how much you can actually make somewhere else or in this space. Now, it all depends on the job market, what you've created, how many years you're in right now, but you can ask in other places like, hey, how much are you making? Ask your friends who are at the same level of career that you're at, how much are you making here? Just to get a better understanding. And that will give you more knowledge, more wisdom, and more information to be able to hopefully take action on certain things in your life right now.

1:14:55And that's the end of money belief number five. You don't talk about money. For me, money is something that I like to talk about often. And I almost like to make people uncomfortable by asking these questions. I don't know why. Maybe it's just more my personality. But I like to ask people to see how comfortable they are. And maybe because I've been an entrepreneur for so long and the entrepreneurial community talks about numbers more than the non-entrepreneurial community. So I invest in masterminds. I invest in coaches. I go to business conferences. And people are sharing the numbers in these circles and in these spaces.

1:15:31So I've just felt more comfortable because it's something I've been a part of and invested in learning about for a long time. But I wanna give you a 30-day challenge. One number a week. So if you're sitting there right now and you're feeling all of this, if you're feeling like, okay, where do I actually start, Lewis? I'm not gonna give you a list of things to feel. For the next 30 days, you're going to get four numbers. One a week, that's the whole challenge. Because every belief we talked about today survives on you not looking. Week one, what you actually keep. So what came in, what went out, and what's left.

1:16:13What you actually keep. Now what you earn, excuse me, not what you earn, but what you keep at the end of the day. Because you might earn a certain amount, but then you spend so much that you actually don't keep any. Those are two completely different numbers and only one of them builds anything. So that's week number one, what you actually keep after what you bring in and the expenses that go out. Week number two, your real hourly earnings. So last month's income divided by the hours that you actually worked. Then ask whether you're being paid for effort or being paid for value. And value is the results that you get more so than the effort.

1:16:54Week three, what you're worth somewhere else. So find out what your role or your service, if you're a business owner, pays in another market. So if you're at a career, you can ask around your friends, hey, how much are you making? Maybe that's just an uncomfortable conversation that just gets you open-minded to exploring that. Now, it doesn't mean you're going to go necessarily make that right away. Maybe another company hires you, maybe not, but it's just to see where other people are at in your space, at your age range, or your experience, or your value, and what they're making. If you're a business owner in an industry, maybe you're in an industry right now that's just not paying you well for your services.

1:17:33Maybe there's a different industry that if you were in sales in one industry, and it's not paying that well, but a different industry that could pay you double if you were a salesperson with a higher ticket price offering, you might be able to earn more in a different industry. Now, jumping from one industry to the next, maybe it's easy, but maybe you need to learn a certain set of skills in order to be able to move over there and transfer those skills. Maybe you need to develop relationships, whatever it might be. But it gives you information of what could be possible somewhere else. And week four, your ceiling.

1:18:06The most you've ever let sit in your bank account for 30 days. What is that number? That's the number your mind has been defending this whole time. The mind feeling like, wow, that's so much. I don't know if I could ever go beyond that. Now you know what you're actually up against. Four numbers, 30 days. And one thing running underneath it all, every week, say one of those numbers out loud to another human being. It's the fear. It's the insecurity. It's what are people going to think of me? That's actually the part that breaks the programming. You learning to have courage to be able to speak up and be seen by others about where you currently are.

1:18:56This will change the game. When you stop feeling guilty and insecure and embarrassed and not enough and a loser for where you're at, and you start feeling comfortable with where you're at, maybe you don't enjoy it, but you're comfortable to talk about it, that gives you a place to grow. You're not hiding anymore. and you're actually saying, all right, now I can create a game plan to allow me to start building from where I'm at now. When I was on my sister's couch for a year and a half living off three credit cards, I didn't feel worthy. I didn't feel enough. I felt like a loser every single day, but at least it didn't keep me from putting myself out there and asking people who were 10 years ahead of me, 20 years ahead of me, who had earned and overcome those challenges, I asked them questions.

1:19:45I shared with them where I'm at. I talked about where I was struggling financially. I was willing to reveal myself. It didn't feel good in the beginning, but it gave me a game plan. It showed me where I am and where others were and where I wanted to be. And by getting the wisdom and experience and the knowledge from others and having the comfort level to communicate these things, it didn't make making more scarier. It made it something easier. And that's what I want for you. And it doesn't mean it always happens overnight. You know, it took me some years to figure these things out and start building.

1:20:21I had to overcome myself. I had to develop more skills. I had to learn how to add way more value and get much bigger results for people. I had to learn all these different things that took time. When you do this day over day, it's going to be able to bring more to your life. And you'll be making decisions with information instead of fear. Because when you don't talk about something, it probably means you're afraid of it. And when you make decisions based on something you're afraid of, instead of something you have knowledge around, you're probably going to be living in scarcity much more because of that fear.

1:20:57And everything downstream of that fear changes. So I want to leave you with this. You're not behind because you're lazy or not motivated. And you're not stuck because you aren't smart enough. I'm telling you right now, I was in the bottom of my class and I felt like I was one of the dumbest people that I was always around. I guarantee you, you watching this right now, you're probably way smarter than you think. And you can probably beat me on every school test that there is. So I know you're smarter than me in a lot of ways. it's not about being smart. It's about having courage to overcome the emotional fears that are holding you back.

1:21:40And you didn't fail some test of wanting it badly enough. I know you want something bad. You've been carrying beliefs that you never agreed to. These are just things that have been passed down. And it's never something you wanted. It's just something that became a part of your emotional nervous system. And the only reason that they've held up this long is that nobody ever read them back to you. Well, now, hopefully this has. Hopefully this experience, this moment, this conversation, I'm reading these things back to you. I'm saying these things back to you that you've probably experienced or felt some of these.

1:22:21Because the people I've met with real wealth and with peace in their heart, I'm telling you right now they aren't necessarily more smarter or more talented than you Some of them are some of them are actually really smart and really talented But i'm telling you a majority of people that i've met who have a lot more wealth They're not Smarter or more talented Again, there's a few but not all of them are like way smarter and more talented than you I guarantee i'm not but I have developed a skill set that has allowed me to believe I'm capable of earning more. And that is the difference. There's people who are going to be so much smarter than me that could out debate me on everything that could out, you know, test me on everything that could be way more talented in a lot of things.

1:23:10But if there is an emotional belief that is holding them back, that has a ceiling of what they believe they're deserving of earning, then it just means they're going to be limited on what that financial ability is. And most of them aren't even working harder than you. I guarantee you're working your butt off. I know you are. They just stopped guessing. They know their numbers. They say them out loud. They write them down. They're clear on what they bring in, what's going out, what their goals for the future are. They ask the questions the rest of us are maybe too polite to ask, or they don't want to ruffle only feathers with their friends or their family or their community.

1:23:51And that's something that you can start today. You don't have to wait to feel confident to ask questions or to learn your numbers. Not with a windfall, not with a perfect plan. You don't need to have everything perfect to start today. With one number you've been avoiding and one belief you finally put down. If you want to go deeper on everything we've covered, I wrote a book about this because this is the book that I wish I had when I was in my early 20s, when I was suffering emotionally and psychologically and in my nervous system around money. And the book is called Make Money Easy. The link is in the description right below.

1:24:32And if one of these five beliefs hit a little too close, then tell me which number in the comments because I like reading as many of these comments and commenting as well. Because the moment you can see the belief, you are no longer the one being run by the belief. And that's where all of this starts. Again, the book is called Make Money Easy. This is the book that I wish I had, where it helps you identify your money style. It helps you develop a powerful money mindset so you can earn more. It helps you create a money map to reach clear financial goals. It helps you appreciate your value and discover your hidden skills for greater earning potential.

1:25:15And it helps you find money mentors to support you in believing what's possible for the future. So when you change your mindset around money, your entire life becomes richer. So the link is in the description or you can go online and get it. Make money easy. It's also translated in a lot of different languages, Spanish, Portuguese, many other languages. Check out the book if you feel like this has added value. This has supported you. This book goes deeper in helping you break down the beliefs that are holding you back and setting you up for financial freedom. I hope you've enjoyed this episode.

1:25:54Let me know the belief that has held you back the most below. Start taking action because you're worthy and deserving of earning more.

1:26:03Lewis Howes:My friend, I hope you're enjoying this episode right now because we are on a mission to impact 100 million lives every single week. And every follow here on this podcast helps us reach more people. Make sure to hit the follow at the top of this show's page right now. It's the single biggest thing that you can do to support the show and the impact of us reaching you every single time we have new episodes. I appreciate you and I can't wait to see you in the next episode. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links.

1:26:44Lewis Howes:And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally, as well as ad-free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review. I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward. And I want to remind you if no one has told you lately that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.

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