Zooey Deschanel: How To LET GO Of Others’ Opinions & ALIGN With Your MOST AUTHENTIC TRUTH

0:00Welcome back to The School of Greatness, one of the top podcasts in the world. Today we have the incredibly talented Zooey Deschanel. You know her as the star of the hit TV show New Girl and films like Almost Famous. But today, Zooey is here to share a more personal side of her story, from her recent engagement to the challenges and triumphs of her career in Hollywood. Thanks so much for joining us. I think you're going to love this. Now let's dive in. There were things that happened in the business that were, for a little bit, kind of felt like were going to be the end, right? I was like, ooh, is this the end?

0:32Am I just gonna be a musician? Really? Like you thought your career was over? Yeah, I did, yeah. Really? I did, I really did. In addition to being a musician, a writer, an entrepreneur, Zooey Deschanel has been in some of our favorite movies, like Almost Famous or starring opposite Will Ferrell in the Christmas classic Elf and the offbeat romantic comedy 500 Days of Summer. I had this thing, like when I was a kid, people would look at me and laugh and be mean. And so like the same feeling when everyone looks at you and so it would remind me of that. That was really hard actually. Really? I really wasn't prepared for it.

1:05Like people running up and you know crowding you and that stuff. Nobody gives you any playbook for that. When I let go and I'm not just going, will they like me if I do that? When I kind of am myself, I am successful. What would you say since starting your career was the biggest challenge you've had to overcome? Yeah. Oh. The thing is a lot of people see things from far away and they're like, oh you're so successful but you have like...

1:33Welcome back, everyone, to the School of Greatness. Very excited about our guest. We have the inspiring Zooey Deschanel in the house. So good to see you. Good to see you, too. Very excited. We, in a past life, we used to be neighbors. It's true. We both grew up in the 90s. Yeah. And we both got engaged around the same time. I know. It's incredible. So congratulations on the engagement. Thank you. You, too. Thank you. Thank you. and um where'd you guys get engaged by the way well here's the interesting thing i um i told her at the beginning of last year that oh at the end of the by the end of the year we'll be engaged oh good for you because she wanted to start a family eventually and she was like you know what's the plan right okay by the end of the year i'll get engaged yeah so i had a live annual event called the summit of greatness that i did in columbus ohio my hometown your hometown which i did every year and um i interviewed her on stage in front of thousands of people and at the end you'll like this at the end of our interview at the end of the event i stood up and i said everyone you know let's give it up for martha everyone's clapping at the end of our conversation and then i'm standing there in front of the audience of saying oh wait a minute i forgot you know there's one question i've always wanted to ask someone on my on my show that i've never asked in 10 years of the show and so i turned to her and i you know oh that's so sweet and so that's a cool moment her family was there my family was there that's a good moment was everybody surprised was she surprised i think she was yeah because i was planning to do it later in the year so it was kind of months before so yeah it was a good moment that's great did you know that you were going to get engaged no i had no idea no i was really surprised did he did you guys talk about engagement i mean we had like we did and I I I like knew at some point it would happen but we'd been together a long time like four years and um I just really wasn't expecting it especially we were on a tour of um Edinburgh Castle which is like this amazing castle um and um we had the kids with us and and it was kind of like one of those things like going to a museum you know you do with the kids and they're kind of like you know um did they know no not until the like the very right before it happened he kind of um he jonathan went in the other room to like get mic'd up and somehow my son like saw it somehow got confused was like why is why does he have a mic on you know like he didn't know what a mic was but he was like something weird is going on um but um they actually held up the sign that said oh wow that's cute they had the sign yeah it was all it was all big surprise but we we we finished this tour of the the castle and like my son had put this big giant sticker on me and actually earlier on the day it was funny because um jonathan's like you know we're going to this castle um we might meet the royal family so you have to dress nicely this was like how he got me to like not wear jeans wow i mean and i was like oh okay i was like that's kind of weird i just thought it was kind of weird i was like why would they just be like hanging out right right it's not a it's not like a castle where people live it's like you know sure more of like a museum and so i was like okay that's weird and then it was like no hats and i was like it's like all these rules weird yeah there were like a ton of rules in the calendar he goes i don't know he's like you better iron your clothes and he was like actually i'll iron it for you like he ironed my skirt for me and i was like this i was like he's really like really wants like well he didn't actually tell me and my mom was actually like she was like you you need to get someone to do her hair and makeup or something and he was like no she's fine which luckily i like I luckily had a manicure, all that stuff.

5:37Maybe he knew you already had that. He knew it. Otherwise, he might have encouraged me. I took her to go like the week before. I was like, oh, we should go. You know, we're going on a trip. Get a manicure. Let's get a manicure. I was like, I'll get a foot rub or something, you know, which I never do. But I'm like, I'll go with you. Yeah. Yeah. All these things you have to think of because they take pictures of your hands. I know, right. Exactly. Close-ups. You know, both of us growing up in the 90s, I'm curious. I didn't really learn about how to create healthy relationships growing up. I didn't learn.

6:08There wasn't as much tools and information and books about love and vulnerability and intimacy. Yeah. Not as much info, like not as much accessible info, right? You know, therapy wasn't an option growing up really. It was more like being from Ohio is never like talk about your feelings type of thing. when I got older and I started to do kind of like healing work and learn about relationships and vulnerability and intimacy I was like wow there's so much more I needed to learn about love right and intimacy since we're talking about intimacy and love I'm curious did you have a good did you have a good toolbox of how to be in great like how to express love and receive love growing up Or was it more challenging for you to experience love?

6:53I have such great parents. And my sister is so great. I have a really great family unit that I came from. And I went to a school that was very encouraging. We had basically every year from seventh grade on at my school, we had kind of like a weekly group therapy kind of session. Yeah, it's called their Mysteries Program. and everybody learns how to express their feelings, and it's great. But I still have learned so much just as an adult, like, you know, going to therapy. You know, all those things I have found to be incredibly enriching to my life, and I'm always learning and always discovering.

7:44I'm a very much like a self-improver. Like, I'm always, like, looking to, like, get better. Like, there's always something to work on, and that's always how I've been. I'm like, give me notes. Really? I'll take them. Yeah. Even in acting and in your career as well? Everything I want to always be improving. I want to get – I'm always looking to get better. That's just in everything. Yeah. Because, like, if you're just – what? I just want to stay in the middle? No. I want to keep going. I want to get better at everything all the time. sometimes you hear the stereotype of you know actors or actresses that can't take feedback because they get so criticized and they feel like they're not good enough but you were more of like i want to dive in and give you have to i think partially too because i'm actually really i'm actually like a very direct person myself so i'll like say what's on my mind and then if somebody pushes yeah i'll be like i don't know tell me why i will only go out one i know why but like i'll push back at hoping that somebody will not like a rude way but i hoping that somebody will give me why and we can come to a better understanding i think it's like i re i really want to do the best job possible you know and that and that that's always the goal you know like um if you are respectful and nice and you say i don't know i don't agree with that um but you have still as an actor it's part of the job to to take a direction that's you have to Wow.

9:12If you can't trust your director, then you're in. You're screwed. You're screwed. Yeah. Wow. Sometimes you have to push back because you don't understand. Or sometimes you think maybe they have the wrong idea and you'll do a better job doing something else. And I always think like an actor, it's an actor's job to know the character better than anybody else. Really? Better than the director or the producer? Because they have a lot of things to think about. Producers thinking about like very, very, very many things on the outside of the production. The director is thinking about like everything overall.

9:45They certainly will have like a lot of ideas about, you know, it's kind of more big picture. Director is more big picture. Actor is more like it's more, you know, micro. Right. And every job pretty much other than director and producer on a film set is very micro. So it's like, you know, you have a lot of people doing very, very, very detailed work. And I think of an actor, you're just doing very, very detailed work on your character. So if you think something's off, you have to say something. But like, again, you also have to be able to take direction. So it's kind of like you have to be quite flexible.

10:22That's interesting. Yeah. So you're big into growth and wanting to become better. Oh, always. Yeah. What would you say? What would you say since starting your career was the biggest challenge you've had to overcome? Oh, since starting. Oh, like, oh, there have been so many. I mean, it's like there's so many times where you're like the thing is, is a lot of people see things from far away and they're like, oh, you're so successful. But you have like you have like moments of great success and then you have moments where that success dips, you know, especially since I started out doing movies. movies are like you might have like a big movie and it is marketed to everybody and there's tons of publicity around it and like everyone's hearing about you and then you get like a ton of attention maybe like a lot of offers you get you know a lot of accolades people come up to you you know you get that and then you know when that marketing goes away and people aren't seeing then those things kind of ebb and flow a lot and you you feel it how does that feel like when you get all the attention for three to four months and then yeah maybe crickets for a year six months i mean it's nice to have it's nice for me it's nice to have breaks from like if you're like being wrecked like the people maybe like say like taylor swift right is like taylor swift can't go every day right every day you know and that's challenging that you can't go and it's like sometimes you just want to go and be a normal person go to the grocery store and like not have people like looking at you all the time i think i think it's nice to have some breaks um but i definitely think like you know as you that hopefully as an actor you have like a long career and then you have you you go through phases of your life and you're you're gonna fit different you know as an actor you play different parts so you're gonna fit into different categories over the course of your career and that you have these it can be awkward transitions between like really yeah what's the hardest transition you've had to make in your career?

12:21I don't, I don't know if I would say like, I mean, it's definitely like, like, I mean, I really did think about, I mean, it wasn't even like my, like, it wasn't even, there were things that happened in the business that were maybe for us for a little bit kind of felt like we're going to be the end, right? of like I was like because I do music too and I was like there was a time I remember it was like I was doing indie movies like my whole 20s and um was successful at that and doing and then like some bigger comedies and stuff like that and all of a sudden around the end of my 20s the a bunch of the studios cut their slates like majorly so then they cut out those like comedy kind of movies that they would do and they cut the like parts of the studio that would do the smaller the stuff you're working on the stuff that i did all got cut right and then um they were making superhero movies only and that's cool i like superhero movies but like that's not the only thing i like and that's not the kind of stuff that i like cut my teeth doing um and so i was like oh is this the end am i just gonna be a musician really like you thought your career was over yeah i did yeah really I did I really did and I toured like for I remember I toured like for a year straight I was just like not working on anything yeah I just toured and then new girl popped up I remember getting that script and I hadn't thought about like back then it's funny now we just think tv and movies all the same everyone like all these movie stars do tv back then like people who did movies did not cross over to do tv it was like considered this weird thing like there was like some line of delineation and it was like what are you doing why would you do a tv show it was like maybe occasionally don't ruin your career yeah yeah and and maybe it would be an hbo show somebody would do showtime or something like that but but but doing a network tv show was like not done Wow.

14:36And I remember being like, that's stupid. Why would that be? You know, and I kind of think my own kind of like a little bit of rebelliousness inside me going, well, that's ridiculous. Why would I let that define me? like if the material is good and i trust the show creator which i did she's like unbelievably talented and i know who's involved like jake kazan who directed the pilot like i've known forever and he's extraordinarily talented if i know all these people and i know they do quality work and they are like doing something that i want to work on why do i care whether it's like a movie or a tv show you know obviously doing a tv show is like a little bit more like getting married so you're kind of like you know you're in it you could be in it for a really long time but yeah i remember being like nah i'm not listening to that stupid like old idea that like film actors aren't supposed to do tv so i just did it and it paid off so so well and then then all these film actors that i knew were coming up and going i want to do a tv show i remember like famous very famous people yeah coming and saying oh i want to do tv and i was like i was like i felt good about the fact that I had done something that was a little bit scary, you know, but it paid off, you know.

15:59That's why I think, I think you have to go where the, like as an actor, anyone creative, go where the material is. Don't think about the medium so much. Really? Because like, yeah. Who cares where it is, whether it's a play, it's like, you know, a podcast, you know, a TV show, you know, a web series, a movie, a little tiny indie. if the material is good that should be the thing that's the most important so what makes you decide what you want to work on now and would you do you know a small web series if the material was incredible now or it would have to be like really incredible um no i would do i honestly the i go where material it's material and who i'm working with and the team you know yeah because obviously I mean I've also like read scripts and been like I don't get this and then it turns out to be great because the director knows how to make it great make it great interesting yeah was there ever a script that you that you read and you said yeah I don't really like this but then it later went on to be like this big success I'm so many I can't even yes well because sometimes it's like I don't get it because I don't like because it's not for me there are things like knowing our own like what we are great at you know is also important like like I always want to know I'm gonna add value to something like if I don't get it I'm not gonna add value you know I'll be like floundering but then I'll be like there have been times where I've read something and I'm like I don't really get it and then I'll see some actress just like crush it and I'm like oh she knew how to do that part it's just like who they are and their angle on it and yeah I mean it's happened so many times How have you learned how to, I guess, deal with rejection or with not getting the part?

17:51You know, when I look at your list of credits, like it seems like everything that you've ever auditioned for, you've got is what it looks like. There's so much you've worked on, right? And so many successes. But I know just being in L.A. that you've probably done many rounds of auditioning. Yeah. Especially early in your career where you just go on audition and you don't get it. Oh, yeah. How have you learned to navigate and I guess go through that process of rejection? Yeah, it's really hard at first. And I'm really happy that I did it. I was like in high school when I started. So it felt like, oh, this is bonus.

18:20You know, it was like what I really wanted to do. But I didn't think, oh, I have to make it now when I'm 16 years old. I thought like, oh, hopefully by the time I'm 25, I'm successful. But I wasn't like, oh, I need to be crushing it as a teenager, crushing it as a teenager. So I kind of knew that it was like recreational, but it did mean a lot to me. And I would take the rejection pretty hard. Really? I mean, yeah, I'm an emotional person. So I would be like, I remember like crying and like, it was, it was, sometimes you get really attached to something. Like you work on it. You really want it.

18:51You're practicing it. Yeah. Yeah, but then I think I realized, you know, after a lot of that, that, I don't know, your skin gets thicker and you start to just go, well, if they don't, you know, they don't get me or maybe I wasn't the right person for it. Like I was just talking, you know, that it's not an insult to you if you don't get a part. It's not like, oh, you suck because of that. I think actually the best thing, now that we're talking, the best thing that happened to me was, I remember the first time I was involved on the other side of casting. Like I had already been cast in something and they wanted me to come in and read with all the guys coming in.

19:41It was a TV show or a movie? It was a movie, yeah. So you had the part. You were like, we want to see you test with other people. Exactly. They wanted to see me read with a bunch of guys who were coming in to play like my boyfriend and see chemistry and see how they were. And I remember that the guy who was actually the absolute best actor, he was so incredible, was just not right for the part. Interesting. And there was another guy who was more limited in his skill, but he was right for the part. and was the one who got it but I I kind of was like oh I I wish I could just read I mean I didn't ever tell the like actor that didn't get cast like because I never saw him again but like he was incredible right and you're like oh my god what an actor like he just taking everything in in a way that like I admire so much but it's not about you it's about an it's not about your skills it's about an overall persona it's like there's certain parts i'm just not going to play because i don't represent that to people you know it's like they're just certain things that you know you don't work in that part and that was that was it when but i feel like a lot of people take things so personally when their project doesn't work out or they launch a book it's buy it or whatever people aren't it's really hard so how when did you learn to not take things personally and to realize it's not about me and my talent it's just I I don't play the character the way that needs to be played yeah and it's just not the right fit when when was that how old were you when you started my 20s for sure I mean it took me a while because I started when I was really young but yeah I was definitely in my 20s and you know it's still like still things keep connecting like as I get older I'm like I things I I'm less affected by those things but But every once in a while, I'm like surprised by something that I'll be like, whoa, that hurt.

21:39Really? Of course. Yeah. When was the last time you had that experience though? Because I'm assuming at this moment, people just say, we want you for this part. You probably don't have to audition that much or maybe they just want to do a quick read. I don't audition very much. Yeah. I don't audition much. Hey, we want you. If you want it, you got the part. Right. I mean, it's not so much that stuff. It's just, I mean, I can't even think, but I mean, I'm just saying like, I'm still surprised by stuff. You know, I can't think specifically. it's not the same stuff because it's not like going in and reading and then and putting my heart into an audition and then practicing practicing yeah you know but i actually you know i i don't think that stuff ever goes to waste because even if you're like you work really hard on something and you put that energy into a character like you end up using it later in like another character i i always think like you you work really hard on something and people remember when you work hard and you you know um people remember so it doesn't it doesn't go away so it's like when you do a good job people remember and maybe in three years yeah they might go you know what she wasn't right for that part but we really liked her and she didn't you know she she put so much effort into that it it is really appreciated when when you and and i know for myself there are times when i don't you know when i really like say i i still have you You know, I still will like meet, you know, directors and producers and things.

23:02And when I take the time to really study their past work or study the script that that they're, you know, making, I it it really pays off. Like if I haven't done the work, I don't come across as well, you know. So all those things. I mean, we we still are freelancers. Actors are freelancers. You still have to prepare and show up, you know. Wow. Yeah. What is the part you played or the project you worked on that taught you the most about yourself? Maybe it was a well-known thing that people know about and see, or maybe it was something small that no one really ever saw, but what's the part you've played in your career that taught you the most about you?

23:47I mean, probably getting to do New Girl because it was so long. It was over seven seasons, and it was like eight years of my life. And before that, you know, because I would do like go from film to film, you show like less of yourself with a film. And to some degree, it's like I was probably playing less lead roles, more like, you know, like large supporting roles. Like, you know, and you show just like more you're kind of like picking and choosing like what you show. and that's, you know, an important thing in terms of like telling the story. Sure. But when you're telling like this very broad story and it's very long and you have like, you know, a limited number of like lead characters and you show a lot of yourself.

24:42And before that, I also was not necessarily known for doing that kind of a little bit more broad comedy. Like I wasn't doing that. and I knew it was something I could do. That was like when I read that script, I'm like, I know I haven't done this before, but I know I can nail this. It was like a really like, it was a really like, I felt extremely confident. Like, I know I can do this and I know nobody thinks of me as this yet. Like my first thing when I was really young, first in my career, and I remember I would go to auditions and I would do movies and I would get cast in a lot of these like kind of sardonic, deadpan, sarcastic kind of roles and then move in playing like girlfriends and things like that.

25:35And it was just different. It was different from a lot of the stuff I'd done. So it was, it was fun to get to be like, I can do, you know, it's like nice when you know, like, you know, You're like, I haven't done this, but I know I can nail it. Wow. That was like, it did teach me a lot to have confidence in the things where like, like I know I can value add here. Wow. So eight years of your life for one project essentially. Yeah, long time. What would you say were the three biggest lessons you learned about yourself during those eight years? Maybe personally in your life, in your career, what opened up for you during that time?

26:10That you got to get enough sleep. Sleep. Sleep is so important. Your health. Yeah, I think, like, yeah, I really took, we were just working so hard. Our first, like, three seasons, we were, like, not getting, like, I mean, we were just, like, working so hard and just, like, spending so many hours on set. Really? And I got into, like, horseback riding at that time. I like spending out, like, the time I spent, like, outside, like, with animals, I would take, like, all these vitamins to help with my, like, make sure that I didn't get sick. I did not get sick ever. Everyone was like, couldn't believe it.

26:48But that was because I really started really taking care of myself. Really? Yeah. Did you feel yourself starting to get tired or exhausted from just all the shooting? I was so exhausted. Yeah, we were all so tired. Oh, my gosh. Like 16-hour days just nonstop. All the time. Yeah. Really? And the season was what? Three to four months roughly or less? Eight months. Eight months for the season? Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. That's intense. It was intense. Yeah. I mean, we all we spent more time around our cast mates, like at our, you know, like our crew than we did around our families. Wow. Yeah. OK, so that's one lesson.

27:24What else opened up for you during that time? I also like I mean, I ended up I had both my kids while I was on the show. Wow. So I did like I was that being a mom and being a star of a show. And it was really hard. It's like you have two high demanding jobs. Yeah. You know, being a mom and being a star of a star show. I will say, too, that my sister was on the same lot as me shooting her show. Wow. And also she had her younger baby around the same time I had my older one. So they're just a couple months apart. So they got to be together. They got to be together. Yeah, it was nice because she's such a great role model.

28:08She's a very hard worker. she's a very good mom she just like she gave me so much guidance you know like that use it i think like definitely like i'm not one to ask for help very much but like getting advice from people can really just be so helpful um that's beautiful yeah she's there the whole time filming as well pretty much almost i think the last season um of my show she was done but she was pretty much because her show went like 11 seasons so she's getting those royalties those yeah i was gonna say those um the dramas tend to go longer when they're when they're um wow so what was it like growing up with an older sister who was also in the industry the parents you know in the industry what did she teach you that really helped you in your career well i actually started before her even though she's older than me.

29:04I mean, she wanted to do it at the same time, but she went to theater school in Boston, and I was here in L.A. in high school, and I was like, I had the hustle in me, and I was like, I have to do this. And so I started auditioning when I was like 16, but she was in college and not like what was just focused on her studies. I mean, she was studying acting, or theater and acting. She wasn't trying to book gigs. No, I was trying to book gigs, like, in high school. I don't know. It's crazy to me now to think. My mom had this thing, because from the time I was little, I was like, I have to do this.

29:49And she's like, okay. My parents made a deal with me, because they were like, we know a lot of child actors, and we're not cool with that. Don't turn out well. Just because it's a lot, and you have to have a special temperament, which they're like you don't have um like child actors that are really good it's like you have to like be okay doing something over and over again and like you know it was uh yeah it's a different skill than being like a grown-up actor right so they're like once you can drive yourself to auditions you can yeah okay gotcha you can um you can get an agent and so basically when i was like 16 i was like i wasn't out i mean still living with my parents so my mom like as an actor my dad like is a cinematographer and a director so i had like a lot of i mean i can't we can't like i can't possibly emphasize enough how much like creative help i had from my family unit because everyone is it's funny because people will be like oh like nepotism I'm like no my dad's a DP like no one's getting jobs because their dad's a DP like it's it's definitely not but you know my dad is a great creative mind and like he's such a talented person so like incredible like like knows everything about film my mom is a great actor and is so nurturing and so like they both like my mom would coach me like when I didn't have an acting coach she would like coach me she would help me read lines with me she'd be so supportive my dad I would have like so many great discussions about film and filmmaking with my dad like they both would help me some I mean my dad would also like read lines with me and give me great direction and they I mean and then having a sister who's an actor it just me it makes you just like automatically have a community and how much our communities help us whether it is our family or whether it's like our found communities our found families um that's so important to you know keeping going because this is a business like the one i'm in it it's easy to want to just go away because it can be like oh like you just have to not go away you have to just keep sticking it out because it you can have long periods of time I remember like I quit college to do the movie Almost Famous and I mean it was my first year of college and I I basically was supposed to just come home and do the movie and go back and then I just made this weird decision to like ship all my stuff home from Chicago I was going to Northwestern I just was like I'm just gonna ship all my stuff home so I shipped all my stuff home i do that movie and then i got no work for a year and i was just like yeah and i was like what do i do you know because you could have a year where you don't work or even like last year we're all like like on strike like there's no work you could have a terrible year where you don't work or the pandemic or all kinds of things and you just have to be like no i i like this enough i'm just gonna just hope yeah next year yeah keep doing it did you ever have a time where you thought oh maybe i won't get booked again yeah like after i had kids you know you change yeah i mean but you're on a star show and you're crushing it and you're you know i still ratings and you still have those feelings really yeah i mean i i thought not that i wouldn't get booked again but it does feel it is I I will say actually it's not just about kids but when you're on a show that everyone knows like you know for a long time and that's what people know you as and and um it goes away it's hard to get booked again sometimes it is because people think of you as that and I think especially like me in particular like my my feasts and like who I am was very much associated with that brand and yeah you get you get a little nervous like what who am i now like there was a there's a there's a short film by jonathan demi like with susan sarandon and christopher walken called who am i this time it's about like actors and i always like like the title like will ring in my head it's like who am i this time but it is scary to go well that character's behind me I can't just like be that character again I have to find new characters and it's like well who am I now so after new girl ended was it a challenging time for you yeah yeah it's hard I mean also that was my family you know like so you're seeing each other every day for eight years for eight years and then you all separate yeah and we like these inside jokes and we like make each other laugh every day and we have like our rapport and I miss that you know you it's weird to go from that to like like seeing them you know it's not like we can there's we'll never again see all those people every day you know it's kind of like graduating from high school and moving off yeah like you're with your family every day and all of a sudden you're not like and everyone moves on to different relationships and jobs and opportunities yeah even if you go back and you're like with your family a lot your friends from high school they all scatter around the country and it is a huge transition it's a long time to spend with people here's a long it's a long time it's longer than high school i mean it's like that's a long it was a decade you know it's interesting because i used to work out with one of your co-stars with max oh nice yeah he loves to crossfit we used to i was just in crossfit classes with him when i moved here to la and um this was kind of like i guess you know maybe the height of the show or the first few seasons so i knew what it was and we were always like kind of competing against each other and one time we were like just chatting after a workout class and we were like hey you want to grab a smoothie and just catch up and i was just like i don't even know his story but i was like how long you been out here he's like i've been in la for a long time and i've been essentially for 10 years busting my butt every year feeling like i'm not gonna make it getting a little job here and there that would keep me in the industry.

36:12Right. Until New Girl showed up. Yeah, he worked so hard. Max is an example. Like a decade before he got an opportunity. Yeah, who would like, everyone knew was so talented, but just hadn't had the right break for him. You know, we were talking about earlier, like, oh yeah, sometimes you're great, but you're not right for that part. He just hadn't had that part. You know, it's like Schmidt was like, perfect. He was perfect for that. Yeah, I mean, he was probably like the easiest casting we did. Really? Yeah, I mean, he and Jake Johnson were the first two people other than me that were cast. I read with everybody, pretty much.

36:48Like, everybody that was coming in a second time. I went in, I said right away, as soon as I was cast, I said, I want to read with everybody. Because I want to see how they are with me, not just, like, how they are just generally. It's like, how do we play off of each other? And I also wanted to be there to make people feel comfortable. Because I know how hard it is when, like, you walk in a room. It can be so intimidating. And I'm like, I can be the person to go like, it's okay. You know, like, we're here. Let's have fun. So I just kind of wanted to be there to like make everybody feel comfortable.

37:20What was that like reading with both those guys? Did you know right away like, oh, these got to be the guys? Yeah. I mean, Max was pretty obvious. And Jake, they both were pretty obvious. I mean, Max was just like had that. Like he, it was like, and again, I think all that stuff had like, and Jake was similar, like where he had been kind of toiling away for a while and hadn't quite hit the right part. But he, you know what, the thing about Jake, what he did was, Max just like was Schmidt and like figured out how to play that part, like guns blazing. Jake played, a lot of people played at the Nick character, like little bits, like kind Kind of more like there were lots of pretty much everybody that I read with was good.

38:08You know, it wasn't like there were no bad actors I read with. They were all great because they were being called back. But what Jake had was like he was he was like he made it all feel natural, real. It wasn't like he was playing at it like he was playing at jokes. He was playing it like he he he was it was being it. Yeah, which is the difference to me between something really succeeding and then just something being kind of like, not bad, you know? Right, right. That was a good job, but it wasn't like it. He got the character in a way that was like, he was real. Yeah, we were talking right before we started about being original.

38:50Yes. And kind of leaning into your uniqueness. Yeah, yeah. you also mentioned and you've talked about this before kind of growing up ADHD and feeling I guess maybe not accepted in certain moments or feeling shut down or feeling like people needed to put you in a box or whatever it might be I grew up you know very dyslexic and still yeah still struggle reading and writing today yeah and you were saying beforehand about how if you can learn to be original with the I guess difficulty you have or the challenge you're facing with that can be a beautiful asset to yours later in life. Yeah. How did you learn to be original with your unique gifts or challenges and not let them hold you back but allow you to blossom?

39:34Yeah. I mean, I think that was like the journey of my school years was learning to be myself. And I've always been a pretty – I always felt like I was normal but then everybody else would be like, we're not. So I think being like being my authentic self, but still, you know, thriving within a system, that was the journey of my, you know, like schooling years. And I think when I was really young, my, my big challenge was that, again, I think I mentioned, I'm a very direct person. And so as a kid, I didn't know like kids are supposed to be like quiet and and i would just be like i don't like that you know like i mean like a little kid you know i i didn't know i'm like that's just how i felt and i didn't know you weren't supposed to say that and i'm not sure exactly how that came about in my personality but just kind of like how i am saying something like that to a teacher not the best idea but like learning how to you know navigate the system navigate the system be a good student by the time I graduated high school actually by the time our records counted I was like the best student really so funny because I went from being like this like little misfit wild like in the principal's office every day about elementary school um got diagnosed with ADHD when like no like very few girls were because I wasn't like crazy hyperactive.

41:15I was just like, distracted, very distracted. I was very distracting. I would talk to my neighbors. I was chit chatter. I make jokes out loud. I have a very loud voice. Um, yeah, I do all kinds of stuff you're not supposed to do. And then, but by the time I was like an eighth grade, I was like, I want to be a good student. I want to thrive in this system. How can I do that? And then I started seeking out answers. And I remember my mom being like, well, maybe just listen sometimes. Just talk right away. Like, okay, that's good advice. And then maybe if you want to make more friends, ask people about themselves.

41:59Don't just speak about yourself. Don't just talk about yourself. Those things that I didn't know naturally, those were things I had to learn. It wasn't like I know, like I'm kind of outgoing naturally, but like I didn't have like every social skill just like sure automatically. So there were a lot of things that I I learned and really, you know, helped me thrive. And then like I wanted to be a good student. So I actually spent like pretty much all my time in high school studying. Yeah, I was like I was like I want to be a good student. And I know some people do it naturally and just like don't have to study and they can just waltz in.

42:37But I know I like learned. That's not me. I have to study. I have to work hard. Like what's important to me, theater and academics. And I'm just going to focus on those things. And knowing that I don't I can't just like do all that and like party and like, you know, have a crazy social life. I realized that focusing on those things because that's what was important to me that I was able to achieve those things because I I I really put my laser focus on it and then by the end of high school I graduated with honors like I was like crushed it yeah exactly I got you know it was like I got a really good SAT score like all this stuff but it was only because I studied and I I worked really hard not because I just like I think a lot of people want you to think they're just like naturally gifted and maybe some you know there are people who are but that was not me i had to work hard wow yeah but i realized how much applying myself how how rewarding that was you know it probably set you up for success with your acting career as well it's because you're really preparing for all the roles yes and that's like what i try to impart on my children i think i was telling you that like my daughter like was in a play and i just like i told her like we got to go over your lines every day and then there was like one day she was like well I don't want to I was like well then maybe you don't want those lines and then she's like no no I do so we like really you know I I think if I impart anything to them it's that just like working hard it's not a it's not a burden it's like a privilege like if you have that like if you have the you know the inspiration to work hard, that means you really like something.

44:20Yeah. It seems to me, I was talking with a, um, Dr. Becky, who's a big parenting expert. Yeah. Yeah. I was just had her on last week. And she was saying that one of the biggest challenges with parenting and kids today is the lack of hard work in kids. Kind of, um, parents trying to rescue the kids a lot and make it easier so they're less complaining or less having fits and just happy all the time. Right. And she was saying how that's one of the biggest challenges for kids to develop strong character in themselves, strong self-confidence by going through adversity and putting them in more adversity.

45:01Yes. It sounds like that's something you like to do as well is make sure that they're instilled in hard work and discipline. Why do you think so many parents today struggle with that? Well, I think it's like not about, it's funny you say discipline and I'm like. Not discipline, but just instill the hard work. No, no, it's the right word. I think people associate it with the wrong things. Discipline means teaching, right? But people go, oh, discipline, they think it's like hard. And like, it's like, no, it's really like, it's really about, it's about feeling inspired to do something. And that, you know, we know we have a practice where we do something every day, even if it's not, you know.