6-Month Baby Milestones & Motherhood Truths No One Tells You | SheerLuxe Conversations

0:00Today's episode was made in partnership with Aptimal Advanced Follow on Milk. The conversations in this podcast reflect the personal views and experiences of our guests.

0:08Sarah Templeman Hodge:In today's episode we're exploring the six-month shift. It's the first stage of first giggles, funny faces, new foods and sleep routines that seem to change overnight. It's also a big milestone for parents who are finding their own rhythm. Joining us today are presenter and friend of ourself, Olivia Wayne and founder of Why Not CEO Yourself, Hermione Olivia. They will share stories and tips for navigating this stage and beyond.

0:39Sarah Templeman Hodge:Welcome ladies. You both look gorgeous. Flying the flag for mothers out there. Olivia, what are you wearing? Tell me. Today I'm wearing a co-ord from Stylin, which is a beautiful Scandi brand. Do you know of them? Yeah, I've heard about them. I went to one of her breakfasts and she's the chicest woman you'll ever meet. She's also about six foot three. So I'm like five foot four. So I've had to have the jeans tailored. But it's basically a co-ord, a brown denim co-ord, jeans, an oversized shirt. And I'm really feeling it at my Jimmy Fairleys because this isn't just style. This is actually needed nowadays, especially when tired, especially when I'm up all night with a baby.

1:14So here we are. Well, you look amazing. Thank you so much. And amazing jewellery. Oh, yeah. Daisy London. Oh, yeah.

1:20Sarah Templeman Hodge:I think these might be the poly ones. And the boots. Boots are River Island. No. You know I'm obsessed with River Island. It's so good. They do amazing things. What about you, honey? I'm wearing like a khaki utility jacket. Denim jeans that I just fit into this morning. You should have seen there was a process though. Beige. What are these? Heels. Yeah. What are they? They're shoes and heels. I've still got baby brains, so forgive me. And the belt's so chic. Cos. I got it last week. Skinny belts are so in the season. You heard it here first. I have got Balenciaga pumps on which I bought last year and they're so comfy and they're quite high No, but you can wear heels My feet died a long time ago And then trousers from a brand called Hirschkind I hope I'm saying that right I love them They're super long which I love And then the jumpers from them as well And then the shirt I think it's Caramelin It's really old, the shirt And then earrings, Heaven, Mayhem And then an array of Your belt?

2:19Sarah Templeman Hodge:Oh and the belt is Kate. I think we are flying the flag for like it's so important as women and mothers to get dressed and be the best version of yourself and not just succumb to the exhaustion or whatever it is. Oh my god I feel so much better when I'm well it was a long time ago for me the baby phase but when you like got dressed put some makeup on brushed your hair you just feel like a different person. You do. It does make a big change. Before we start just a quick message from our sponsor. Parenting is full of exciting milestones like feeding your little one their first solid foods when they are six months old but making sure their nutritional needs are met is key.

2:56Sarah Templeman Hodge:That's where Optimal Advanced Follow-On Milk comes in. Designed for babies from six to 12 months and inspired by 50 years of breast milk research, Optimal Advanced Follow-On Milk provides key nutrients like iron which contributes to normal cognitive development and vitamin D which contributes to the normal function of the immune system and is suitable for formula and combination fed babies it's the only follow-on milk in the uk with goss foss and 2fl and has high quality milk fat for a creamy taste aptamoled funds follow-on milk says breastfeeding is best for those that are able to follow-on milk should only be used as part of a mixed diet from six months talk to your healthcare professional for advice on feeding okay so we're going to talk about babies today like the sweet bit like six months tell me the babies so i have three children i've got an eight-year-old almost nine called Ozzy a five-year-old called Ziggy and my youngest is Zadie and she is almost two so she isn't a baby but she is our baby and I'm trying to keep her a baby for as long as possible because it feels like it goes so fast oh do you know her well she's come with us on shoots oh my god I had like she made me want another baby she is quite delicious I would say but I think that's a third child thing because they're just kind of easy because they have to be because it's not about you.

4:11It's about football runs and school runs and they just adapt and fit in. That's my breakdown for children. What about you? I have a stepson, Arlo, who's six. And then Xanthe is two and Gaia is three months. You three months? These are insane. Thank you. You're in jeans in three months. That is remarkable.

4:29Sarah Templeman Hodge:If I move too quickly, I might pop out. Oh my God. Let's talk about six months. It's such a special time. What did you, like, what was your first moment that you were like, oh, we've reached another milestone. For me, six months was really where I started to see that they were their own person. You know, like you've come out of the fourth trimester and you're feeling like you're an independent person again. But they're really coming to life and they're like a little human. Don't you think? They're like, you're starting to see their personality shine. And as you said, it's like, okay, this was all worthwhile.

5:00You're coming out of the woods a little.

5:01Sarah Templeman Hodge:Yeah. And they're sort of face changes. Well, that's what I think they look like how they will look. Yeah. You know, like at the beginning they look like the dad, don't they? Because it's all for like, so the lion cub didn't eat the cub and all that stuff. So they look like them. But then actually their face takes its full shape. And when you look at baby photos, well, of my nine-year-old, he looked like that at six months. He looks the same. Do you kind of know what they're really going to look like? All of these milestones are happening, you know, sitting up, giggling. Eat, obviously. And explore with an owl.

5:31Sarah Templeman Hodge:Explore. And I feel that, you know, it doesn't just happen at six months. There's a range. Did you ever feel, oh, my God, this isn't happening? Should I be worried? I really noticed that with my first time with Xanthe, I was, like, so obsessed with every milestone and, like, you know, like watching down to the minute as to what she was doing and what she wasn't doing and also, like, so proudly, like, thinking that she was this, like, miracle child. Oh, my God, everyone thinks that. So it makes so fun. Very embarrassing. Whereas now I'm just, like, so much more relaxed. I almost don't even notice, you know, what's happening or when it should be.

6:04You're just more joyful about the whole thing.

6:06Sarah Templeman Hodge:I mean, I know it's so hard, isn't it? Because you do, you are a bit obsessed because it's, you know, it is like, I feel like you should almost have a degree in being like with babies for the first year because there's a lot to think about. So it is quite like scary when they're not, when you don't think they're hitting it, but they're just not in the range. I always felt that it was like the hardest job you'll ever do without any handover. And the books are very general or it's all average. But you take the book as fact that it has to be at six months on the dot. They should be doing X, Y and Z.

6:40And they don't all do that. Just like in every walk of life, we all do things at different times. The sleep is a big thing. At six months, they should be doing X at night, one wake. It's like, yeah, but do you wake every night still as an adult? Are you a good sleeper? why should a baby be so good or bad I've always found it so kind of intuitively off that whole idea that they must conform but I guess you need some semblance of a guide otherwise who knows I

7:09Sarah Templeman Hodge:know and obviously there are yeah there are you know developmental milestones which is important which is important yes and but I know it's crazy I also think like the first baby like you're so engaged with the baby and you're like mama like you're so invested in this baby and getting on and doing the thing yeah and then the second one comes and you're like sorry i just you know you're like i'm with the other one a bit more yeah because the first one is all is more demanding because the older they get the harder they get absolutely and then by the time my third i was like i mean good luck honey i mean you bring yourself up and also i I feel like their siblings makes such a difference.

7:50Sarah Templeman Hodge:And sometimes their siblings can slow it down because they'll speak for them. That's true. So I think it really depends where you are in the family. But also the needs of the toddler are often, well, in my situation, much more demanding. Completely. I feel like I'm always running towards the older kids and meeting their needs. Completely. And unfortunately, the baby often has to kind of sit and wait their time. But I think the babies learn so much by observing that. Completely. them and actually rather than like trying to get them to like recognize something and the colors or the art you know just by observing life they probably develop way quicker it's like a different way of doing it but your first one it's like all the pressure and also you're in like you're mega in the mums group yes it's all in ten you're like oh and so you know marnie's just sat up and you're like god and you're on the nct couch with all the babies and summer and you're like why isn't mine in the Halloween outfit totally in the little pumpkins but the reality is number two and three they just get on with it and before you know it they're like oh my god they just spoke but I didn't even know I wasn't even trying for it I know because they get up because no one's listening to them so they have to get up to walk to get the car the rah rah car because no one's the rah rah car it's not coming to you and I'm not bringing it to you exactly that I know it's so funny but it's really hard you I think you can't explain that to a first time mum because you don't believe them because you think no way I will not be that person but everyone is and playing is such a lovely part this stage when you feel you're getting something back which you need yes those nights are long I mean did your babies when did your baby sleep through I mean you're still in it we're quite lucky we have sleepers to be honest oh really yeah I mean obviously you go through patches and phases and it always changes but like generally they sleep a lot and I don't know if it's because I slept so much when I was pregnant I don't know if it like wore off or sleep breathe sleep yeah Yeah.

9:38It's that true.

9:40Sarah Templeman Hodge:I don't know. My mother says it. They all say that, don't they? I know. I think it does. Well, I have, can I swear, rubbish sleepers still. My five-year-old is up every night still. No. Oh, yeah. Zadie's up multiple times. But as you said, don't you think it's like adults some sleep really well and some don't? My husband's the worst sleeper on the planet. Yeah. He can't fall asleep. He's one of those that really can't sleep. I could sleep. I have slept in DJ booths on speakers. Like, if I'm tired, it doesn't matter. Whereas he literally, it's like perfect conditions, all of that. and my kids are more like that.

10:09So that's why I do have a bit of an irritation with him. But no, I get why they might not be great sleepers because the reality is not adults aren't great sleepers. So why do we think they must all be? But it's exhausting. Yeah, I don't think it's formulaic. At six months, it all changed and got better because he got bigger probably. I don't think it was anything I implemented. So for number two and three, I was like, I'm just not obsessing over it. We'll get through it and we make it work for the best of us so that we all get the most sleep we can get.

10:37Sarah Templeman Hodge:So what do you do? Do they all go down? First of all, the two older boys go to bed at the same time, which is not fair on the eldest one, but it is what it is. It's impossible to be like, you go to bed, now you're up a bit longer. And you don't want to go up and down stairs all the time. All night. I was like, after bath. We're up, we stay up there. We stay up. Yeah. Oh, bed, bath, and beyond is just so hard. Is your two-year-old good at the moment? Mostly, yeah. Like, she is a good sleeper. Of course, there are nights we're going through a patch at the moment. I think transition phases. You have a new baby as well.

11:10She's probably been like, who's this? She's like, oh, this baby's staying here. She's not going. And also she just started nursery. Yeah, it's big. Of course, I think it's also them needing us. I think that's a big part of if we have issues with sleep, it's more they're needing that attention from us. So, yeah, she's definitely finding her way to us at times in the night. Which I think is actually really sweet. But she's still in a cot. ah no she's in a bed she's in a big girl bed with the side yeah so she can get out yeah she can get

11:39Sarah Templeman Hodge:out oh my god it's when they can come and find you which we definitely won't do as early next time we didn't do that but we live with my in-laws at the moment because we're renovating a house so we actually have a dormitory situation oh perfect because of like space you know so basically my husband's in a in one bed in the room and then there's another king bed for the boys but they our bed hopping all night and then I'm in another room with the baby because I was like if she wakes we don't want to wake all of everyone we can't all five of us be oh my god I didn't know that yeah so we literally and then the five-year-old will come into me and then my husband comes and when he goes to bed at like he's a producer so he's up really at three in the morning he'll come and take him out of bed and at sometimes I've got all three in the bed with me and I'm just lying there like I'm trapped I can't even message to say come and take a child out it's like when will this end and then i'm like it will end if the days are long and all that i know true i remember that couldn't hold a bottle and everyone all of his friends all of the other babies could hold a bottle and i was like oh my god james you can't hold a bottle zach's my eldest and james would be like he's not going to be in the pub and his mates are going to be like that's brilliant yeah to be honest it's true it's all true but when you're in it it feels it feels huge and also until you move out of a phase into a next phase that phase feels interminable when will ever end and yeah and you feel you've got it locked and then you move on to the next phase and you're like have you seen that reel where it's like she wakes up she's like 80 years old and she wakes up yeah as a 32 as her 32 year old self oh no that's oh it's so beautiful but she basically says like you know I look at my husband and he's young and fit oh yeah no I cried my eyes yeah it's so beautiful and has that reminder I feel like I need to watch that okay can you give the reference okay so basically she's like she's 80 years old and she wakes up as her 32 year old self and her little she says like my babies are still young and they come in and she's she like lingers a little longer and she asks them if she can read another book and you know she goes and gives her husband a hug in the kitchen and he's still like young and fit and and he's surprised when she hugs him and she says I obviously didn't hug him enough back then you know it's just like the reminder are you cold I'm like chill let's all go and tell our kids and husbands it is the reminder as well like and I was doing the same thing I was like oh my god it's the baby's coming to our room all the time I feel bad and then a girlfriend said to me um it's the safest place in the world for her and that was such a reminder of yeah it is such a short period of time and it is the safest place in the world so like let it be I've always thought that with the sleep thing especially like if I was really feeling scared and my husband Zeb was like okay I'll cuddle you in the morning go to bed and in the morning you know because ultimately like for whatever reason they need me okay it's I'm tired but for them it is so I know to feel no that when you call also like my eight year old you know he's now having like he's at school there's things that come up anxieties and it's when you're putting them to bed that's when they tell you and you're like I'm just gonna to go and say goodnight and then I'm up there for half an hour and James is like we've pressed pause or whatever watching I'm like I know but it's important because I feel like if a baby you respond then eight you respond then when a teenager you've got it you need to jump when they need you especially in the world we're in now and other influences they see like I feel like home you your mother or the father needs to be available yeah even if it's like oh I'm about to have an evening or just need to do this even though yeah it's hard though you gotta count to 10 and be like deep breath yeah and you know you just gotta do it you've got to and you want to do it you do because when they don't come to you'd be gutted wouldn't you okay and on sleep like do you have any tricks or tips to get them to sleep getting that burp out before you lie them down i never did that oh you never did my kids work no mine weren't either no way no oh my god our whole household is all about the burp.

15:37No way. I found like there was never wind. My baby's never puked. Really? None of it. Oh my goodness you're so lucky.

15:43Sarah Templeman Hodge:No I didn't I've never had that. If I put a baby down before they've burped it is like How do you get the burp up? Just any which way you can. Yeah. No yeah it's just like making sure they're still upright for me and like just doing the right position and things yeah. So funny though because do you know once the burp's up you're good. Yeah as soon as the burp's out they also like then show signs of like okay I'm ready to go to sleep but if I'm in a rush yeah yeah i'm like okay okay we fed like it's time to go down yeah no no no no like i have to be patient which i would say is like the number one lesson of motherhood for me is patience i didn't realize how impatient i was until i had children and that you can't control everything yeah and just learning yeah i'm not going anywhere for the next 10 minutes or half an hour as you said bedtime you know like the show is paused the glass of wine is there like three nights an hour later and it's just like leaning into that moment so i would say like with bedtime.

16:35Yeah. Once I get that burp out, best sleep as ever. But I have to do the whole process. And the whole house knows, the burp's out. Yeah, the whole house knows. For a new mum especially, but you realise, ah, I can't control everything. Yeah. And give it up and then you can chill. I may relax into you. Yeah.

16:54Sarah Templeman Hodge:So my two sleep tips are, so first yawn, okay. Second yawn, it's bedtime. Third yawn, they're overtired with a baby. number two is the time if you get to three it's too late someone taught me that and that's because once you observe the first right okay we're waiting for the second now it's time to go but if you miss it if you obviously miss it yeah where are we up to exactly really hard um this is like in the daytime naps what i always try to do is really calm down my breathing like in for four because then you slow down your heartbeat as you're putting them down to calm them if you're like i've got to go i've got to go there's no way that kid's going to sit but if you're like really slow breathing to try and lull them and really have to calm your own nervous system parenthood is like having kids is basically a mirror on yourself isn't it so like you chill they'll chill which is why i fall asleep at bedtime every night and then i have to pull myself out of it to have a relationship with my husband because i'm like okay 7 30 i'm asleep so hard yeah like there's no greater naps than that i mean getting into bed and especially when they start reading to you yeah and you're like oh my god what'd you say yeah you wake up in the morning in their bed and they'd never they'd never wake you up so like oh my but mommy's falling asleep that is so funny with her clothes and jewelry i know i hate that when you have a wash your face how do you entertain them i mean what was your favorite like do you do music do you do sensory play like i remember being in the bath it's so sweet when you can get the race tracks that stick to the edge of the bar I always think, by the way, on a wet, miserable, cold January day, have a bath in the day.

18:29It doesn't have to be a bath. Like, if they like the water. Yeah, that is entertainment.

18:32Sarah Templeman Hodge:Entertain them. Like, you know, it's not bath time. Who cares? Like, you've got to get through your days sometimes. Yeah. And also, I think with mess, which it can be very triggering for some people, I can't bear it. You have to be like, it'll take me 10 minutes to tidy up. Yeah. Just let them have fun. I was like, oh, and I tidy up midday. You just tidy up at the end. Yeah. Just give yourself a 10 minute window at the end. Yeah. Just chill out. It's okay. just like that real you'd long for the mess when you're old and it's quiet and all in place the house will be clean again yeah it will all come it is going to drill your head some days and that's completely normal but if you can try to remember that it's not forever that if they want a bubble bath and it's all a bit splashy and annoying yeah okay yeah and they're bath crayons yeah you've got that they're good no they're good they're full of tips today yeah you remember it's like these are the things that save me do you know what we do or try to do every day I think this is probably the Aussie in May is like getting outside and getting fresh air.

19:24Key. Obviously, it's like not the same as Australia, like walking down a beautiful beach. But I do think just getting out, no matter how hard the day is, like I just strap her on and just try and walk somewhere and get fresh air and like show her the world. We did it yesterday. We didn't have any plans. It was Sunday. Like we're just out and about. And she was just amazed by the world.

19:42Sarah Templeman Hodge:It was so sweet. It's so sweet. I love that face. And also fresh air is knackering for them. It is. You've got to get them outside. If they're oochie and whingy, it's like change the scene, change the vibe for you as well before you lose your mind. And then she'll probably be exhausted from all the fresh air and the bees and the birds. It's sort of like units of time. It's like that book about a boy, you know, where you've gone. It's like, I've got units of time to fill. It's sort of like that as a mother. That's six months because you're like, right, this feels like a long day. I had such an interesting transition into motherhood as a stepmom.

20:18because how old were you how old he was only one oh so it was still like nappies and it was like very early days yeah and we would half the time be living our young newly loved up like couple life yeah and then half the time we'd be with him so that was so interesting because at first we tried to do like all the baby things with him like you know what you would expect to do with

20:40Sarah Templeman Hodge:a one-year-old 18 month old on a weekend and then eventually well you know like you're arranging things like you're going to the zoo all the time or like doing play dates like you said the blocks it was like back to back we were scheduling our weekends like living for all around here yeah and then eventually we were like we're so exhausted this isn't even normal life so we started to transition it to what if he came along and did what we would be doing on the other weekends and he was so much happier oh my god it was so interesting yeah exactly exactly their favorite thing to do on the weekend is to go to the supermarket i know and the thing is with going to the supermarket with the kids and it's the food of the babies I mean it's so extensive now it wasn't like that when I had my first baby but what's so good is that it's so well signposted so you know you're giving the baby what the right things and that you know they're depending on the age so let's talk about food that is such a big part isn't it when you because it's it really signifies that things are moving on that the baby is sat at the table with you and partakes in meal times it's like such as like it's really lovely how did you find weaning tell me I mean if I'm being honest I really it's my worst bit of parenting for all three for all three I've had a very different experience in my last but I've hated it and really it's because of the mess and also it's the waste I find really hard and also it's because it feels like there's a lot of effort that goes into it and takes a long time for you to get that reward now with say the eight year old and five year old when they like eat a steak I've never been more proud yeah it's such a pleasure to watch your children eat good food healthy food that's lovely but in the beginning stage it's ultimately exploration fun and it's just mess and waste isn't it and obviously I'm not a nutritionist or a medical expert but my experience of weaning is just I don't love it but when you do find the things that they like or they'll hold or they'll suck or they'll chew on and it feels like there's progress.

22:36It's pretty mega.

22:37Sarah Templeman Hodge:Did you do baby lad? I did do baby lad. I'm a crunchy hippie at heart. From my experience anyway, six months to a year, there wasn't much going in. It was a lot more fun, playing, texture, smush mess. Probably not so much consumption. You do see those babies that love their three meals a day and snack and that's incredible. I just didn't have that. And then as time progressed, especially for the older two, then I'd be like, okay I know what you like and when they like like an egg you feel like you've won the day because it's like hey that could be a breakfast or lunch or a dinner like you know good foods like that you feel really lucky when they like them and then you can go out for nice brunches because they'll have a scrambled egg or something with you but yes I love waning because I know but our kids absolutely love food again I think it's because I ate so much when I was pregnant stop it everyone I swear I was out of control.

23:32But they are begging for food from early. Like we have to like almost wait. Even now they're just like. I was not very good at like obsessively doing like lots of different things and like making it perfect. I was probably more like blending one thing and then they were having that for a few days kind of thing. Which is maybe why I enjoyed it a bit more. Yeah, you did that every meal. Yeah, pressure on myself. That's a key parenting hack. Don't put pressure on yourself. Well, yeah, I'm still learning that one. Yeah, but does it help? Yeah, but I think just because they were so excited by it and they love food so much.

24:00And I also think it's such a milestone for the mum. Yeah. When they start to eat, you're kind of like, not only are they becoming a little human, which I think is so amazing, but I think that's kind of the phase. I remember like 6, 12, 18 months, they're all like big milestones for me where I was like, okay, I can see myself slowly inching towards being myself again.

24:18Sarah Templeman Hodge:Yeah, completely. You know how I was saying like, it's like that chapter of, okay, I'm my own independent individual now. Yeah. Right now I still kind of feel like we're one. But also it's that whole socializing thing. They can sit at the table with you, you know, family, other members. You don't have to be there for meals. Other people can do mealtimes with them, which is a lovely experience for grandparents or friends or, you know, family. And you say cheers. Yeah, oh, cheers. They love a cheers. But there's more fun to be had. And also it's like they're becoming, yeah, their own little humans, their own likes, their own wants and exactly, I think that's when the personality comes out because you can see what they like and they don't like, you know the face of like I don't like that, I don't like that I think people give them a lemon I think that's why I love it so much What are your hacks?

25:08I don't think there are any hacks out there, I think it's like you just have to do you use any special tools like cutlery or plates? Obviously like the bowls that like suction onto I think they're a game changer and then you know you can buy the mats now that go underneath the chair which is a game changer Oh my God. And then I think just being okay with it being, you know. Lean in is for a short period of time.

25:26Sarah Templeman Hodge:And also you can get those bibs that you put over the head. Oh, it's like a mop. And then their arms just come out. Oh yeah. So then you just whip that off. Yeah, they're great. And the pockets, you collect it all out. Yeah, yeah. Oh my God. And or just like, you know those bibs they do now. Like the collecting. Yeah. They work really well. Dinner time for me is always like in the vest or tops off. Yeah, completely. You go straight in the bath after. Yeah. Get that tomato sauce all over you. In your hair, Yeah, the bolognese, just do it. Don't put white on. But also, like everything with kids, the quicker you let them do it and figure it out, then you move out of the messy stage.