Can Your Partner Swap Numbers With Someone They Meet On A Night Out? | The SLMan Podcast

0:00This episode is brought to you by PayPal. You know how a mom's bag has everything? Sunscreen? Snacks? A stapler? The new PayPal app is like that, but for your money. Shop, pay, manage your account, and earn rewards all in one place. And with purchase protection on eligible items, biometric security, and pass keys, you're protected at every step. Download the new PayPal app to get started. See paypal.com slash protection terms. What's an acceptable amount of clothing to open the door to room services? Which hotel are we in? I've never had any clothes on ever when I'm at home or in a hotel. Would you open it naked?

0:39No, but it's quite an inconvenience that I have to get dressed to answer to get my food. I could lie in bed and just tell them to come in and they put it on the side. Who is this fucking king? Enter.

0:57Welcome back to the SL Man podcast. Today, it's a very exciting one because we're changing up the format, but we're joined by some old heads, some regulars, if you will. We've got Frankie on my far right. New seat for me. Far right's probably not the best description. We've got Frankie over there. And we've got Adam here as well. And we are going to get into kind of what's on our mind. What are we thinking about? What's interesting to us? The things that we're loving. We've got some dilemmas to get into as well. And at the end, we've got some quickfire hot takes. So stay tuned. Let's get cracking.

1:34Three old heads. Three old heads. Three wise men. Exactly. Well, we do get older every day. So I'm becoming aware of. Wiser? For sure. I'm feeling it. Sharper? More injuries, more ailments. Oh, yeah. Oh, God. Been through the wars. We can't actually start off with all of our ailments on this podcast. I think that's why we're interested. This is a fresh take. Very relatable. It's energetic. That would make people feel better about themselves if they knew how broken I was under these clothes. They're probably looking at you thinking, oh, you look so put together and healthy. I had to be put in this chair.

2:08Carried in. I witnessed it. It was not pretty. But a good example of small talk, which that's kind of my first topic that I'm bringing, is that small talk gets a bad rep. Because it's absolutely essential. it's like the the social fabric that ties us all together because we have to break down someone else's kind of you have to start the communication basically somewhere and small talk the issue with it is not it itself but how people do it or go about it is that the same thing so you think no small talk is great bad small talk is bad small talk is yes everyone doesn't like it gets a bad reputation because of people doing it badly yeah you get some people that are like oh i hate small talk yeah exactly you don't hate small talk you hate bad small talk yeah so you need lessons on small talk how to become a good small talker what's a good example of a bad small talk where are you going on holiday as in like have you got any summer plans yeah that could lead into you've been to the same place as that person then a big conversation i know there's a part of yeah there has to be something but i think you have to ask a question isn't it you have to ask a question that doesn't sound like small talk it can get the same answer so rather than asking like have you got any summer plans i don't know why that's a hard one to navigate maybe that is shit small talk but i talk a lot in general and spend most of my time working although work's quite fun so to ask me what i do is kind of relevant to my life but i hate that question if i meet someone for the first time they're like if they and if it has a so in front of it as well if it's so what do you do i'm like oh just absolutely shuts you down because it sounds a bit rude but you instantly feel like they are a bad conversationalist so you're like i'm gonna have to drag this conversation now and do the hard yards here because all you've got is yeah what do you do yeah the ideal the ideal is that you don't know you're having small talk in theory it's a good thing to say because i could talk for years about what i do but it's just the wrong way to go about it yeah you know even just asking me like what's been keeping you busy today or like what have you been up to or like where have you come from at least just anything that sort of might lead into a second question rather i think if you ask a question that gives you the chance to give a biography like so what do you do is so open-ended that i could just speak for 10 minutes that's the problem though exactly so if the question is like where have you just come from or like what were you doing today at least then i can specifically tell you about something and then you've always got one one uh one eye on leaving that conversation but even they're quite boring like just complimenting someone or like saying hey or like just a very simple remark about where you are or what you can see is easier right yeah maybe it's not like the question itself but the way that it's followed up so if you're like genuinely interested if there's something that you mentioned about what you do that is like a tiny little detail oh like that's interesting like what what does that mean because then at least you're listening and also that person is picking up on what they're interested in.

5:12It's important for the questioner to also be interested, not just asking a question to be like, oh, I guess I should, I don't know, where are you going on holiday then? If there's a perceived effort and intrigue, then it's... I do think there's an unwritten rule with the small talk as well, which is neither one of you really wants to be having this conversation. I don't mind a bit of small talk. No, no. You've got the wrong attitude. It depends. It depends who it is. You got the wrong attitude, sir. It depends who it is. If it's, and it's the wrong situation. That's the other thing. It's very circumstantial, but neither one of you wants to be doing it.

5:42You need to be asking questions that are going to get you out of there quick without looking at it. No, no, no. You should be asking questions to get you interested in it. You need to be curious. Not getting out of it. It depends how you feel, doesn't it? If you're in a good mood, then it's not great. A little bit, but ideally it should always be to get an interesting conversation. Yeah. Obviously not everybody gels. Yeah. So you could, within the small talk, realise that you two aren't necessarily only the right people to be continuing this whole talk and then it's done its job yeah but on the whole if you're meeting someone you try and be interested i think i agree if you come up from a place of curiosity yeah you're going to be having a better conversation for both people i actually think circumstance like it makes a massive give us an example massive part well like i would much like say we went to the pub so i just met you yeah if we're stood in the office it's like hi then I'd much I wouldn't want to do that I couldn't go any deeper than that I've got to pretend to like this guy now I wouldn't want to go any deeper than that but like I'd be like you want to go for a drink after work and then it's like it makes the environment's way more relaxed and not everyone can do that I get that but then just try to get out there as quick as possible the context to relax and then be curious do you need to be yeah maybe maybe it's a mindset thing yeah I don't know well yeah it's true like to get into a good conversation with someone when you're both like on the tube or like trying to get a train yeah it's not probably the best idea so you got to judge it a little bit like how deep can you go in this conversation at this point keep it surface level and that goes back to like they're asking you what you do on the tube you've got three stops left and as you say your job's quite interesting so like you might initially start that being like oh god i've got to reel off all the things and then you'll say something that is like genuinely fascinating to someone and then they'll be like so i'm sort of explaining how a conversation works but what i mean is i think you've got to be a good interviewer i think you've got to you've got to listen and look for the small cues but oh that was that was i do like why did they say it like that i do agree if you're trying to be better at small talk asking questions about specific things that you can relate to is going to be great for a conversation yeah it helps if you have a broader lived life because someone would say something about a place or an experience and you'd be like, oh, I went to that or I did that.

7:54That does help. If you've had a very one sort of lived life of nine to five at this place for the last 10 years, you don't have loads to talk about. Yeah. So if you want to have interesting conversation, live an interesting life. Yeah. What's an example of when you've had to small talk recently? This episode is brought to you by PayPal. You know how a mom's bag has everything? sunscreen snacks a stapler the new paypal app is like that but for your money shop pay manage your account and earn rewards all in one place and with purchase protection on eligible items biometric security and pass keys you're protected at every step download the new paypal app to get started see paypal.com protection terms this message is brought to you by apple card with apple card you earn unlimited daily cash back on everyday purchases like groceries, merch, or tickets to the game.

8:48Plus, it can be used anywhere MasterCard is accepted. No matter your team, no matter where you shop, Apple Card is here to help you tackle game day. Apply in the wallet app on your iPhone today. Subject to credit approval, Apple Card is issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA Salt Lake City branch. Terms and more at applecard.com. Well, generally for me, it's like a fashion event. So let's role play that. scenario and see if we can come up with like good questions okay so where are we we've been invited independently to an event yeah we don't know each other we don't know each other okay cool hey man good to meet you how's it going how's your day been does this feel genuine to you um sorry are you talking about our conversation sorry you know i can hear you okay sorry uh my day's been great actually yeah i was um learning how to or discussing how to small talk and now here we are and we're small talking so it's been great oh that's quite meta for you do you normally think about things that conceptually are you deep i am yeah it's one of my issues actually um it normally gets any issues one of my many issues oh many issues yeah okay the other is the five margaritas i've drank rapidly because i've got anxiety about meeting new people and i'm a deep thinker margaritas great by the way okay go and try one actually it's not about um it's not just the interviewer's fault it's the person being questioned going way too deep too quickly yes You hit me with a curveball there.

10:11I would have left this by now because I'm being ignored. I was trying. I didn't think you were here. I just want a Homer Simpson back. But yeah, I mean, there was grounds for a conversation there. We'd have been talking either about the margaritas or about my issues with deep thinking. You did well. Conversations unlocked. Tick. I think don't be afraid to follow up quite quickly with questions. That's a good one, actually. I feel like I'm best at small talk. When you're constantly asking. yeah someone else is answering and don't don't think small talk is bad because then you will play bad negative mindset exactly adam sort yourself out it's sometimes basically remove the label of small talk yeah it's just early conversations an opportunity to connect yeah reframe your mind on that note where's everyone off on holiday i've been i've just been i've been just got back from Sardinia.

11:05Oh. Lovely. Very nice. I'd recommend if people haven't been. I've never been to Sardinia, but I was in Puglia, which is not a million miles away, south of Italy as well. Yeah, it meant to be amazing. I've never been there. Beautiful. In the airport, they are playing security tapes all the time about how you can be arrested for bringing sand back from the beach. No way. What? From Sardinia? From Sardinia, yeah. Arrested? Yeah. Oh, come on. Or fined quite a lot of money. I think it said arrested. It was just fear-mongering, But yeah, I couldn't believe what I was watching. I thought it was like a fake ad for something.

11:40And did you see this sand? Did you witness it? Yeah, I went to the beach. Yeah, what's so special? I mean, it is. It's pretty amazing sand. Oh, really? Yeah, it's really good sand. Very fine, soft on the feet. It's great sand. I can understand why they want it protected. It's the perfect sand. If you were to draw a picture of the beach, you would draw this sand? I love the idea that this is such an issue that it's like there's an existential risk to the beach. Adam gets home and just tips his boots out. Is it sand or shells? Maybe it's shells. That makes more sense. Yeah, that does make more sense.

12:11I can't really remember. What do you think of the Italian pace of life? Southern Italy. Yeah, I loved it. Yeah. Once you sink into it, it's like perfect. I agree. You have to sort of catch yourself and go, whoa, why am I walking so fast? Or why am I annoyed that my coffee hasn't been made like that? Just chill out. I'm on holiday. It's such an atmospheric thing as well. because as soon as I got back to London, it wasn't like anything had happened. I just felt immediately more like angst and like rushed, maybe because I know what my life is like. Very friendly people. Very friendly. Yeah. And also sometimes just don't give a shit, which I like.

12:43Weirdly, to call one of my strange little ADHD things that I go down a rabbit hole with, was drawing on the beach and then started drawing people on the beach in Puglia, in Monopoly, this very local beach, lots of like old grannies and granddads that live there. Where's this guy? and start drawing people okay and then giving it to them so i drew like these six uh old like i don't know it's like four women and two guys under their umbrellas and stuff or whatever i should have metaglassed it because they were going mad oh my god we love it they brought this other guy over to play translator who was italian but could speak english and now i'm in this like six-way conversation with these 70 year olds on the beach because i've drawn them a picture of them then the next day at the beach and they come back and i'm there again and she's photocopied it and is handing it out no that isn't them it's friends of friends you know it's very local and going back to my point of being very friendly i now have this guy it's called maro who's probably late 60s was a businessman in the north of italy and he's texting me his uh old ties because i was telling him about my business stuff and he's like look i have like 50 ties at home that's so cool which is just a perfect sort of network example of how they operate out there i saw a heat map of you might have seen it how quickly it takes you to make friends in different parts of europe it's hypothetical yeah but i thought they'd actually done like data analysis like nordic countries it was like one year or and there's comments of you know like it's true i live in sweden and um i've known my friend for five years and i'm still not convinced i like him England was kind of like one month or two weeks or something like that really that seems quick yeah maybe longer than France and Spain were I think a week and then Italia Italia Italy was one day so they say in Italy yeah true because everyone there is just like oh you're my friend now yeah that's such a good story I'm still quite mesmerized by that well what the you on the beat Mauro he texts me I was actually telling him it's quite funny I was telling him that I was taking photos of different like colors of pulia so the green shutters against the red brick and stuff and explaining that i was going to design a summer collection based on it and he got home and started sending me photos of fruits and stuff going typical of pulia i just got this guy that just takes me he's even invited me to a pumpkin festival like in the north of it on the 19th of september did it feel weird going over to them and giving them this no my thing yeah that's i I mean, that's a topic of conversation because my housemate, he's like, you're a weirdo.

15:18Like, you're drawing people half naked on the beach. What's wrong with you? I mean, like, on paper. Slightly invasive, right? Yeah. It's a bit weird. Yeah. Well, no. Drawing older people felt less weird. Yeah. But yeah, I just, I did it once and then everyone was loving it. So I just kept doing it. That's really cool, mate. I've got some in the office, actually. But quite a fun way to meet people. Exactly. That is way better than small talk. Yeah, it is, actually. That is way better. It is. I'm just drawing you in case you want it. Someone comes up to you at a venue, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on.

15:48I'm in the corner. Please try this on the tube. On the tube, no. Anywhere in England, do you think it'd go down as well? See, that's what I mean. Sunshine in Italy, they're friendly people. Not as beautiful a landscape either, is it? No. It's also quite inspiring. I went to Lisbon, like a small town in Lisbon, and just had my camera with me. And the characters that you get there and the things they're doing, everything feels really kind of analog and old school and it just it just inspires you to want to capture those moments which i imagine how how you felt it's very different um i don't know whether it's because you're home and you've kind of seen it all of your life but when you go to these places it's it's so full of character you just want to get things like that i do agree you i i was walking past places or people and then coming back and being like i kind of want to like draw that it looks yeah yeah which you don't get here although on all of my travels you know like Hong Kong and Middle East and America I'm always talking about things that probably wouldn't feel that important to a local like I'm at the viewpoint in Hong Kong saying this is amazing but if you lived there it wouldn't be right going to those boxing classes and cycling across Westminster Bridge every time I pass Big Ben I am impressed by it yeah yeah Big Ben deserves a shout out that's so I had this recently when I started unbelievable when the sun shows give a little but then i realized like when was the last time if ever that i've been like this close to big ben like for someone that's grown up in london i've never really been there yeah can you go inside of it i've no idea probably if you looked for it there are many many cool things in london that's what yeah holiday mindset is is you've given your like that's literally the definition of holidays giving yourself like time off yeah so you can actually slow down and it's like i always think where i live in london is not like a very doesn't seem like a green space to me because i grew up in the countryside and like i love going hiking in nature and stuff but actually when you take like a moment to stop and look around there is so much nature around you and probably a lot of these kind of like little moments that you're seeing abroad are also existing here you're just living your busy life yeah you're just getting on you're like if you stopped and watched everything you wouldn't be able to like get on with your day properly so it's like compartmentalized a little bit i do agree a bit a bit more in the moment isn't it it's like maybe on a weekend you can actually allow yourself to slow down and go somewhere in london you wouldn't yeah normally and then just like sit and chill like you would on holiday that's a good point i was talking to uh my wife about this like why do you kind of save certain sort of moments and doing things for this like week or 10 days of the year yeah like during during your whole year you can go and you can have like a mini break somewhere and just take yourself away but you just don't you don't do it or think about it as much and i think one of the things that we were talking about is being more mindful about of trying to find ways to be on holiday whilst we're still here well that's nice what what sort of things have you just like we We never really like take the time to kind of make the effort to go anywhere or spend money on like a hotel for a weekend or something like that.

19:01Because the conversation is always like, no, we'll need that for something else. Like, you know, if the car breaks down and it's maybe it's maybe like saving, saving money for those sorts of times instead of going to the pub every weekend or, you know, doing things that are kind of like a constant part of your life. Maybe it's just like slow down on those things and try and find ways to come out of it. Because there's definitely a different mindset that you have on holiday. and it's a bit frustrating. I found myself thinking like, why is it only reserved for being away or in a different country?

19:30Because of the sea. Because of the sea, yeah. I mean, that does help. That does help. That's my theory. Oxytocin released by the water. That's my theory. Just going down to Cornwall, all you've got to do is drive down there and stay there. It's not like you've got to do the full thing. It's just like, why haven't I been doing it? I do agree with that. I've been doing something recently, just like getting a night in London on a Saturday night. yeah you've been loving the local hotels loving it yeah but you know to your point i'm getting on the tube on sunday going back home thinking shit like i've just had a holiday yeah yeah it's it does reset you and and chill you out in the same kind of way yeah that's my little hack at the moment what's been a luxury that you've enjoyed in a hotel something that has been like oh that's very nice.

20:19I mean the beds. Really? Yeah. Also like not what do they do in hotels? Room service. Room service like not doing any washing up. I love room service. Baths. I'm going to bougie places so sauna ice baths. What's an acceptable amount of clothing to open the door to room service in? Well I'm out of pieces. Well which hotel are we in? Well they always sort of I never have any clothes on ever when I'm at home or in a hotel. Would you open it naked no but it's quite an inconvenience that i have to get dressed to answer to get my food i kind of i think you can do any boxes right but in my world i would feel way too awkward maybe and it would make them feel a bit awkward probably as well i would quite i could lie in bed and just tell them to come in and they put on the side who is this fucking king enter

21:12yeah because i think it kind of kills the whole room just lay it down there I'll get to it later when you've got to get up and get dressed for fuck's sake so like you're going to the hotel and just immobile for 24 hours just sat there grapes in the mouth yeah grapes that's the image I had in my head him naked on the bed with grapes being fed to him bring it to me that's an acceptable amount of clothes for Frankie yeah the divot that's a holiday to be fair that is that's a real holiday don't know where you've been staying but shall we talk about some style related things yeah some fashion bits yeah i've been thinking recently about my wardrobe or like condensing my style down to like just a few sets or like formulas that like feel very me feel like something that i'd wear but is like quite easily replicable still stylish in that kind of world i think because you know it's it's a challenge to try and look like stylish every day and create a new outfit every single day.

22:17So that's kind of the theory that I've come up with. It's just like, oh, that like formula works. Maybe I've got like two or three of those. I'm not going to give them away now. Uniform. But yeah, like more like a uniform. Why do you want to do that? So you don't have to go through the thought process. There's the thought process. And then also like egotistically, there's a part where it's like, oh, that's kind of like you. That's like your style. Like Steve Jobs had his kind of look. but like that's quite far down the other end of the scale isn't it okay let's go let's go karl lagerfeld also had just like his look you know ralph lauren had a pretty like you you knew yeah i get what you mean ralph lauren's good example because he's kind of i mean i guess he's really pioneered that americana yeah kind of look and i think if that's what i mean that's what he's known for yeah um and he's been very well by the way yeah i have yeah it's good it's amazing yeah it's crazy i actually didn't know he started out making ties yeah yeah everyone tells me that yeah yeah i'll be bigger than ralph loren don't worry boss but it's something what you've just said there is something that i think about all of the time because i think for one it i found myself getting really hooked in by trends and what's new and also like liking it and yeah being enticed by it being enticed by it and there's there's certain things i've bought and And it's not like it doesn't look good.

23:37It just doesn't feel right. And you kind of over time start to think, well, actually you do have a certain kind of authentic style to yourself. And it feels far better to play into that than to... I don't know if it's about reducing, because I'll have like 20 of this jacket, but it's 20 of the same style. It's not like I'm trying to be somebody different every day. yeah and i think we just we there's far too much out there now plus with menswear it's kind of like you know the amount of reels i see on tiktok that's like here's what's trending for you know for this autumn and it's like a chunky knit a barber jacket pretty similar it's kind of always the same thing just rehashed yeah and um i think unless there's something dramatically different there's nuances within it yeah exactly it does there is a general yeah template or formula or like just general pieces that are timelessly good looking and classic yeah like little twists on them you look at kind of i think everyone's like pinterest board or you know where they're looking for references for start when it's always the same thing it's harrison ford from from the 70s it's paul newman elaine delon and uh steve mcqueen and it's kind of like those guys were wearing very simple outfits they were just wearing it well because they looked after themselves and they knew what suited their body they weren't going out trying to find the next new thing which i mean i'm kind of but interestingly that was the new thing back then yeah like that you know that period that you're talking about people weren't wearing those clothes before that was groundbreaking at the time and we're still a bit fixated on that era because it was the first era of like freedom from the suit basically yeah that we could go into more casual wear so that's your style yeah that's yeah that's where your references are yeah that's not everyone's no no no that's true and i do i mean also as well off the back of what i was saying i do have two trains of thought there where like fashion is meant to be fun so i am constantly kind of like contradict to myself like you know do i go for that new thing and maybe it's just more about feeling comfortable trying new things than it is you know really wanting to have a pared down wardrobe i think i'm the same in that i stick to and would like a style because you know it works it's easy if you if your wardrobe complements each other it should be easier to pair things together but then occasionally hence i'm in fucking cowboy boots i'm like i just want to put something random on yeah oh totally do you know what i mean there's a bit of you that's like i always wear the same thing yeah no no completely i'm gonna put something you just feel like you want to like yeah i've worn that yeah so much and this is so pathetic this this belt i was like i was gonna wear a little brown leather belt i was like no i'm gonna have a bit of fun with it today rebellion big rebellion i like it but yeah you don't have to go like insane like put a glittery hat on or whatever it's just like oh try you know the the fun and expression to like try things This episode is brought to you by PayPal.

26:42You know how a mom's bag has everything? Sunscreen? Snacks? A stapler? The new PayPal app is like that, but for your money. Shop, pay, manage your account, and earn rewards all in one place. And with purchase protection on eligible items, biometric security, and pass keys, you're protected at every step. Download the new PayPal app to get started. See paypal.com slash protection terms. This message is brought to you by Apple Card. With Apple Card, you earn unlimited daily cash back on everyday purchases, like groceries, merch, or tickets to the game. Plus, it can be used anywhere MasterCard is accepted.

27:22No matter your team, no matter where you shop, Apple Card is here to help you tackle game day. Apply in the Wallet app on your iPhone today. Subject to credit approval, Apple Card is issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA Salt Lake City Branch. terms and more at applecard.com

27:45Cool, I enjoyed that chat on style. That was nice. We're bringing the dilemma section forward in this podcast. And I know that Frankie, you've got one, right? Gossip in the office. Gossip in the office. Lots of chatter earlier today, I've got no work done. So the question is, if your partner goes out and they're on a night out and for example's sake they're with a couple of their own friends and they get chatting to another group of people groups sort of merge and you end up having a drink together or going on a night out together and your partner exchanges details with someone of the opposite sex linkedin profiles well we got into the nuances of what was right and what was wrong uh but i'll start with that um exchange details with someone of the opposite sex on the basis that they were good for and i made a new friend tonight is that okay yeah totally yeah well yeah no no it is because so you're you're going out with someone and in that relationship you should have absolute trust yeah and that for me is kind of the end of the conversation unless there's anything else to suggest that anything else is going on if that's all the information i have i'm like great so your girlfriend's gone on a night out with her girlfriends and they've got chatting to a group of guys and like this guy's quite quite cool and we've exchanged numbers because we and our friends yeah i yeah well actually next part look him up on instagram yeah see he's an absolute hunk well this this is the problem like where does it yeah it's yeah because that is part of the conversation because if they're really unattractive it's very easy to be like who cares there's no threat but if actually this guy is quite funny and charming and handsome suddenly it's a bit like well why do you need to be this guy's friend or vice versa girl the other way around the girls were really against it it's actually really annoying that that does taint it it shouldn't do at all but it's true yeah but that is the kind of thought you'd have i think you'd i'd be a little bit more like okay you just kind of think are you just mates or are you actually attracted you know like because they're so attractive yeah you you ask the question don't you generally generally i mean i i wouldn't care whatsoever because i think like to your point you know each other so well that the reason that that's happened is probably something you would line with like you'd probably be mates with them and you'd exchange your number if you were there yeah but right cut cut forward three days you sat watching tv she just she does a little giggle you're like oh what are you laughing at yeah just texting jack yeah jack just text me yeah i'll be like okay i mean i think at that point like you're not gonna you can't like turn into to being some sort of like controlling freak so i think at that point I'd probably think well whatever's happening is gonna happen anyway if it carries on if it carries on then I'm gonna have a problem with it but you know if it gets too much well they go for a drink this is why it's an interesting this is why it's an interesting conversation and the girls we were phrasing it the other way in the office so we were posing it as a guy has gone out and met a girl and exchanged details and the general consensus was that's a no-go why do you need their number why do you need to stay in touch with this person yeah but do you think guys are way less trusting them so that was where it went and then i think it's interesting because if that is the case if most people agree that well you don't really need to be going out and exchanging details with a guy or a girl that you've just met you make it sound so salacious then exchanging well it just keeps it open as to everyone's like number or instagram then that is basically saying that if you're in a relationship unless introduced to someone via mutuals or work you have cut off the opportunity to make new friends the opposite sex which is quite a shame it's yeah they shouldn't be like that yeah that is basically saying that as a guy or a girl in a relationship i don't have the opportunity to meet fun people yeah exactly if there's a chance yeah that's so true i was gonna say actually like does it complicate it if you're someone who actually doesn't have any friends of like the opposite sex like normally and this is like maybe i don't know yeah but i get what you're saying at all i get what you're saying but i'd maybe like almost they need a friend exactly yeah yeah i'd agree like if you don't really have loads of friends then it would make more sense you'd like to broaden your friendship circle support it and champion what would really what should really happen is that you then get brought into that friendship because your life is together true yeah true so if you're actively if you're actually keeping this new person secret yeah like my new friend that you're not allowed to know then i think that is a bit of a bit weird it's a good point yeah it's more like oh yeah come meet my girlfriend or my boyfriend yeah yeah you kind of you'd make sure that that was like one of the first things you did boys these are great answers compared to what the girls had i've got to give it to you yeah but much more level like i think if i was thinking in their heads like but are they just being more honest than you two are no no no i what i guess there's a part of it being like this is what you should do yeah like this is the ideal world and that's what you should pursue and then just you know deal with your emotions so let's play it out even further they go for a drink i've met on a night out but in a group setting but then they go for a drink together guys all go whatever way you want to phrase just one-on-one yeah i think but that's the point where you'd what you'd hope you you were kind of a bit more involved in on it yeah yeah why don't yeah there's no reason you can't go for the drink as well i like it it was it was a big no-no really oh yeah this is what i was gonna say that i think like we're so progressive if i was if i was thinking of it from like a woman's point of view like i mean i don't know maybe i'm being very judgmental so the girls yeah thinking about but like i think men are way less trusting than women okay so you're thinking that guys are more promiscuous if they met a attractive female as a friend they they are more giving into their temptations in in my experience yeah of guys again it's that thing I would like to think not so I'm going to go with that as the reality yeah if that makes sense yeah I'm going to live in the world that I think exists and hope for the best

34:17if you're liking this content so far do go and subscribe we've got our own SL Man YouTube channel now so you can subscribe there and keep getting the content that we're making. Let's move on to the list where we talk about two or three things that we're loving at the moment. I'll start. At the moment, there's a flood of menswear collaborations. Maybe you were across it. APC Gap was quite nice. Percival Guinness was quite good. Paul Smith Barber in its third iteration. What do we think about that? Is it done? Is it still... Collaborations? No, that particular Barber Paul Smith. I love it. Why not?

34:55Roll on. It's cool. It just feels very British and somewhat yin and yang because Paul Smith's colourful and fun and Barber's traditional and they work nicely together. Yeah, both quite heritage brands in their own right. I think it works. Yeah, they're almost so close they shouldn't collaborate and that's why it's cool. Yeah. I like how it's framed as well. Paul Smith loves Barber. True. Cool. That's a good point actually because I tend to kind of always like the collaborations that aren't sometimes even in the same industry. I think that works really well yeah it's got to be unexpected yeah a bit unexpected yeah it's more like two pals teaming up yeah like oh we both make we're both British men's wear brands and make similar things but it'd be cool if we added our own little piece of our brand together jazziness the APC one was it was just denim wasn't it no they did hoodies which was like you know the classic gap hoodie but with APC across across it which I thought was quite cool I mean I don't know if that's just because I'm so such a 90s boy that I remember having like a Gap hoodie and being like that was a nice little nostalgic tie-in I think it's clever no fall into the gap that one oh really classic they were all just kind of like dancing in a white box in a white studio that sounds incredibly 90s it's like a yeah it's like a real like 90s Mark Wahlberg could have been in it yeah yeah what about you guys what's on your list talking to Paul Smith Loves Barber yeah John Lewis who's the last everyone Everyone, apparently.

36:24They've got a really good selection. Yeah, unbelievable. The Barber section was massive and loads of variety. They had Gant in there, which was a nice selection. Loads of Levi jeans in there. I think it's really underrated. There was like, it's massive, but the sort of corner I found myself in where Barber exists in the central John Lewis if you're going in London. Loads of good stuff. Like it was cool. Yeah. I was impressed. And John Lewis. This is John Lewis. as well like their actual own brand stuff do you know um do you know their their slogan sorry never knowingly undersold never knowingly undersold which confused the hell out of me for the longest time and i spoke to someone recently and it was basically that like back in the day if you found a product that was sold cheaper anywhere else they would like give you the money back really like audi price match yeah just forget that yeah sell the good stuff actually cool yeah that's the new slogan actually cool what's on your list buddy i have just got a an m51 military jacket because i think there's quite a big military resurgence in fashion at the moment i'm seeing a lot of fashion in fashion um i've seen a lot of camo um and a lot of sort of rip stock jackets greens jungle jackets i just got a really nice one um so i would say that kind of one of them has to be on everyone's list it's kind of classic but uh works really well jeans trousers it's a fun one with the kind of old military jackets because again they are a staple of that kind of timeless fashion and the old ma1 bombers and uh the a2s but you kind of have to just do one piece otherwise you look like you're cosplaying somebody from that era yeah um but those military jackets are really like i would recommend them for anyone just briefly i know you're quite into like sourcing your vintage clothes how do you go about that i think you've got to you've got to know what you want okay it's very specifically to the you know m yeah yeah it really comes to those sorts of things you do um the m51 because like you get inside the a2 jackets and um there's there was lots of different old manufacturers lots of different leathers that they were made from and you've got to know all of these you have to know all of them I think you can just type in kind of flight jacket and sit around.

38:42But if you want to get one that is quality and is not just kind of a repro of that thing, then I think that you kind of need to understand, have a little bit of education on what you're trying to get. This is kind of purely in that world. And they are still around, these kind of originals. Yeah, yeah. And going up, like, you know, if you find inside, like there's even just kind of the old bomber jackets. Even shot now are way more expensive than they used to be because they've got the shape that everybody wants. and that kind of nine-on bomber is in that world. But yeah, I'd say that. And then just search around eBay Vintage.

39:15You can find some really good deals. eBay Vintage, anything else? I tend to just stay on those two. Those two? Yeah. I want to get into vintage shopping. Yeah. I need to. I feel like I might get addicted to it there. Yeah, it's quite... Are you on Vintage? Are you using it? Nothing. Oh, get Vintage? Yeah. I feel like I need to dip my toe in and start. I might go on a bit of a spree. Yeah, I've been selling quite a lot. I'm going to do the clean out first. I'm doing a clear out this weekend clear out first and then I'm going mad on mid-did you'll enjoy it's so addictive I bet I normally just charity shop my clothes I feel like I should be more inventive with that it depends what you got all sorts of stuff it's very formal the charity shops where I make lots of suits in there no I mean because what I give them everyone's dressed in a three piece you're single hand there's lots of Frank James thighs in there whoa hang on a minute no one's getting rid of those yeah before i wrap up the list um i'm pretty obsessed with this fragrance at the moment aqua de palma cedro virtuoso and it's like double nutty nutty squared nice it's like creamy but toasty um and i'd describe it kind of like a good dt lesson do you know what i mean by that yeah no you've got when you've got the soldering out and it's on the wood and it's burning up it's like that's a good lesson it's just incredible and it's it's actually one of the only fragrances that my girlfriend's like that is great have you got it on i do give him a sniff yeah okay yeah come here babe oh it does there's lots of smells um like hanoki wood it's quite specific japanese wood i guess in the fragrance i don't know i'm quite into fragrance it's just It's got this, like a...

41:00Specifically this wood. I'd be interested to know if it's got that in it. But it smells amazing. I mean, you smell amazing. A sommelier off the nose. Yeah, exactly. That's get right in there, then, which is nice. I'm getting hinoki wood. In what world will we be able to translate smell through the screen? The smell of vision. It's coming, guys. It's about five years ago. Five years away. Five years ago? Five years away. I've never done it. Because surely you could listen or watch on a device that had the potential to leak smells and therefore the input would only have to be what the smell is. It's been made.

41:33It's been made. It's stupid. Yeah, no, of course. But like, so yeah, like say you squirt an aftershave into a camera. Have you ever watched a 4D film? No. That's where you got like, when someone's being shot on screen, it like pummels you in the back. Yeah, I've never done that. Moving on. What's your fragrance? So yes, my fragrance is Ganymede by Marc-Antoine Barrios. Niche. Is it niche? It's quite a niche, yeah. It's a Parisian brand, Parisian guy. But he's got a store here in Piccadilly Arcade. And it is just the best thing I've ever smelled. And it's the only thing that I get comments on, the only fragrance.

42:16Like, I could bathe in fragrance and no one would smell it on me because I don't know myself, like, quite dense. Because you stand really far away from people. Yeah, and I don't do small talk. Yeah. But this one is the only one people comment on. But it's quite, I don't know how to explain what it smells like. Pinocchio. It just smells like it's from the future. It's the best way I can explain it. Interesting. It's quite mental. Are you wearing it now? It gives my wife a headache, so I can't wear it that often. Are you wearing it now? I think I am. I might stay here. Does he smell futuristic? It's probably died down quite a little bit.

42:51There's like metallics in there, because I quite like that kind of smell. But go and smell it because I thought I really would recommend it. Nice. This episode is brought to you by PayPal. You know how a mom's bag has everything? Sunscreen? Snacks? A stapler? The new PayPal app is like that, but for your money. Shop, pay, manage your account and earn rewards all in one place. And with purchase protection on eligible items, biometric security and pass keys, you're protected at every step. Download the new PayPal app to get started. See paypal.com slash protection terms. This message is brought to you by Apple Card.

43:31With Apple Card, you earn unlimited daily cash back on everyday purchases, like groceries, merch, or tickets to the game. Plus, it can be used anywhere MasterCard is accepted. No matter your team, no matter where you shop, Apple Card is here to help you tackle game day. Apply in the wallet app on your iPhone today. Subject to credit approval, Apple Card is issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA Salt Lake City Branch. Terms and more at AppleCard.com.

44:02Right, we've got a last section to finish things off. This is your gut reactions. What do you instinctively just feel about this? Okay, no PR training allowed. No PR training, no filter, just pure unadulterated opinion. Shoot from the hip. Invisible socks. ridiculous no no ridiculous you can you can say whatever you want okay cool yeah ridiculous icky icky i mean saying icky is an ick in itself isn't it but uh ridiculous yeah they're just ridiculous ridiculous well unless they are invisible exactly yeah if you can see a bit if no one knows they're there i'd rather go back smelly shoes then deal with it all right Yeah, deal with it.

44:48Matcha. Ridiculous. Can't get on board with matcha. I can't get on board with it. I can see why people like it, but I can't get on board with it. I don't get it. Just have a coffee. Or don't, oh, hang on. If you love matcha, a lot of people do talk about coffee, but maybe that's warranted. What? It just comes with, like, why does drinking matcha come with taking a selfie of the matcha? Just drink the matcha. Well, that's the culture that we see, Frankie. Yeah, I suppose. But there's another history. There's an underground matcha culture. yeah yeah I'm sure there are people that are really into their matcha that don't tell the world I'm not too judgy on matcha matcha has been ruined there you go well for the real matcha lovers they're getting a hard time because of the Instagram matcha lovers well yeah is it's issue that it's actually very aesthetically pleasing it's green yeah pops on the feed bro gets the likes going so is if you've got invisible socks I'm drinking a matcha you're a fool Frankie's worst nightmare We're building a profile.

45:45Yeah. Situationships. Oh, nightmare. Which, um. I'm an expert. I'm an expert in. Yeah. What is that actually? Can you explain? A situationship. I mean, it's a broad term, isn't it? How would I define it? Is it like not a relationship? Yeah. You never quite break into the relationship. I think a situationship is for people that haven't fully committed. So you're trying to achieve the best of all worlds. Yeah. is typically a situation which often is when you don't live in the same place because then you sort of live your life and then you live your situationship life hence the term situationship it's a relationship when the situation is together uh okay only in a certain context are you a couple kind of yeah i think so and then you sort of have a separate life yeah but i don't actually know if that's definitely maybe the definition is a situationship is it's an undefined situation yeah it's like it's a thing that you can't really label yeah or it's or it's a relationship that exists because of the situation i well i've i've i don't know what a situation some of my friends and i hope i'm not going to out them by saying this definitely am um but how many friends but no for a long time it didn't really feel like they were in a relationship but they sort of were you never really knew.

47:06It was like this gray area of like, they clearly are, but they're not really saying that they are. And that went on for like for years. And they, they got engaged now. Wow. They made it out of the situation. They made it out. There is light at the end of the tunnel for anyone stuck in a situation ship. Well, thanks so much guys. That was fun. Thanks. A lot of new things going on there. Some shooting from the hip, some good small talk chat. I now know how to do small talk, which is something I'll take away from this episode. But I'll work on it. But thanks so much for watching, guys. That's been a lot of fun.

47:39Do remember to like and subscribe and comment away and let us know what you think.